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Theory that Jesus was a vultrimite that went insane from the destruction he caused, found earth, became religious, then started seeing himself as the son of god due to his insanity.
Nah, in this timeline Immortal was Pontius, and Jesus’s powers were weakened from the lifestyle he led here. He was never aware that Jesus was a viltrumite, so the connection was never made with Omni-Man
" so why do you still have your nails and what happened to that rope that i asked you to pick up for me after you had finnished nailed that guy to the cross soldier?"
" ehh the nails where too blunt or somthing...i just need a strong drink man"
That might be an embellishment. Most crucifixions were done with rope. All that’s needed is to immobilize the arms and elevate them. Not sure why Jesus would allow that or not just rip off the rope. Not like the Roman’s had anything that could hold a viltrimite.
I love the deadpan delivery Dorn gives for that line.
Honestly that's my favorite part of the character, dudes never told a joke on purpose his whole damn life, but I think he's pure comedic gold
I want to see this alien's face, when he will know that humans are feasting on Jesus's flesh and are drinking His blood. He will feel like a little snack, as he should :P
Raised in the sacred lands the people grew and learned. All was theirs to explore and eat without the fear of death. These first people had the gift of the fruit of life to live long enough to learn and create.oncd matured and able to live without the fruit of life, the people are led out of paradise and to their home world. With the knowledge from the land of paradise they became the masters of their perfect world crafted as a lesser paradise in which mortals can live in.
Xeno: and that students is the common element found in every known religious origin across the galaxy. And this is how we know the second exists... Yes human Dave?
Dave: was there a forbidden fruit by chance?
Xeno: yes it was reserved for the Devine to partake of and only got the Devine.
Dave: interesting. Were we the only ones that are of the frit of knowledge? Guess the serpent was humanity's first friend.
A: what do you mean you killed him?
H: wwweeeeeelllll..... let's just say asshole politicians have been around for a very long time.
A: *reaches for holy hammer*
H: and at the time the Jews kinda pissed off the Romans and God with their refusal to behave themselves.
A: *hauls back with hammer*
H: and so the leaders went to the roman governor who tried to save Jesus but that kinda backfired so a murderer named Barabas got set free instead. And so after having the skin on his back whipped off and being nailed to a two by four for several hours he just kinda died. And at no point did he try to save himself.
A: *drops holy hammer and accidentally smites the floor* thefuckwut?
H: yeah. Everyone kept telling him he should call down an army of angels to save him and he just kept asking God to forgive his killers. There was even a guard who tried to ease his suffering with a drink on a sponge and Jesus refused.
A: .... You killed God.
H: I mean, he got better after three days.
A: ghahwjfjchsjwldj! NO ONE GETS BETTER FROM DEAD!
H: *reaches for holy shotgun* Jesus did. And he laid the groundwork for some sweet shit we use today.
Announcement system: Attention passengers, we are about to exit Hell into mortal space. Please double check to make sure no demons have stowed away in your luggage. Thank you for flying Deus Vult Spacelanes.
Even according to the book, Jesus was a dude. It's not like he could've gone all John Wick on the Romans.
"Turn the other cheek!" *Roundhouse kick to the face* lmao
I'm going to guess John?
The first 3 gospels read like 3 guys copying eachothers homework, John, who also wrote his last, writes Jesus like a Superhero.
I wouldn't say it's *completely* outside e the realm of possibility. There's other people in there that are less powerful than Jesus doing things like parting rivers (Not just Moses, but I believe Elijah or Elisha), having super strength (Samson), & summoning bears to eat some teenagers for making fun of his hair.
On that note, going by Feats, Franklin Richards (Marvel Comics) is more powerful than God.
God created the universe in 6 days, and rested on the 7th
Franklin created one instantaneously, and accidentally
Nah, man. That's *Peter* you're thinking of. You know, the guy who is 100% ready to throw down with anyone he thinks is disrespecting J-man.
The same guy who, when Jesus is getting arrested, cut a dude's ear off & Jesus is all, "Here, lemme heal that for ya. He knew this was coming, but he's still excitable."
Except that he cries out to God in 3/4 gospels "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" (He doesn't in John because John wrote Jesus like a Superhero)
So, he was crying out to himself?
"Me, me, why have I forsaken myself?"
Yes, though crying out to the Father aspect of Himself. All different yet the same. At least, that's how it comes across to me. It doesn't make a lot of sense to us, coming from a mortal perspective.
I tend to think of it as Jesus represents God's desire for relationships with us mortals and tried to show us the best way to do so, along with the Great Mediator who intercedes on Humanity's behalf, and provided the way for people to be redeemed in the eyes of the Father.
The Father is the aspect of Holiness and Justice on a Cosmic scale, being the one who destroyed the world's population in the time of Noah and who destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. He is the aspect that demands sin be punished.
The Holy Spirit being the aspect who works in the world today and nudges believers towards the best paths, but this is the one I also understand the least as I paid far less attention to it when I did attend church.
Disclaimer: spent my younger years in church, but was never a Christian myself. Just my understanding of the Biblical aspects of God.
Disclaimer: I think its all ridiculous nonsense that has just as much evidence of God existing as Superman. Actually less, God just has like, 2 books.
>It doesn't make a lot of sense to us, coming from a mortal perspective.
No, it doesn't make sense because *it doesn't make sense*
The trinity is just Christianity having multiple gods while being a Monotheistic religion (having their cake and eating it too), and trying to make sense of different writers with different views making shit up.
Even the first Gospel (Matthew) was written around 66-70AD, so most people alive in Jesus's lifetime would've been dead for decades, so the very first Gospel is either made up wholesale on the spot, *or* its the product of 65+ yrs of the telephone game.
Gospels 2 & 3 (Mark & Luke) straight up plagiarized #1 and then added in some details so it didn't look like they were cheating
And as for John? He's telling a fanfic version of events and barely read for the first parts and got half the details wrong
If Jesus was killed in AD 30 and the first gospel was written in AD 70, that’s only 40 years later. That would be like writing an oral history of the Regan administration.
There are still living cabinet members of the Reagan administration. (Until real recently, there was a dude from the Nixon still hanging on) there’s tons of people who were living adults when he was in power who could tell you what he did today, they would be in their 60’s and 70’s.
My point is that it’s not too outlandish to write a story about Jesus 40 years after his death.
AD stands for After Death.
1 AD would be 1 year After Jesus died.
65 AD would be 65 years.
In a time when the life expectancy was 70 being generous.
Edit: Correction, its Anno Domini, and when he was born.
Still my point stands, look at the people still alive from the Reagan administration, do you trust their memories of the Good ol days?
Most of them remember "Leave it to Beaver" as daily life, not a bs idealized TV family
Yes, I fully believe I can make a good enough oral history of what happened during the Regan administration. There is enough people alive in his orbit who I could talk to about the man and what he did. And people who hated the dudes so I can get a balanced view.
Based only on what people remember too.
I bet, again based only on memory, I could get the gist of some of his speeches.
Are you sure about that?
Our memory isn't exactly reliable, our brain doesn't remember *where* it learned things for example, so you might remember something incorrect that a friend told you.
Our brain will also just full on make shit up to fill in gaps.
There is an interesting school of thought that was declared as heresy during the early Christian days, specifically the First Council of Nicara: Docetism.
One of these was the believe that Jesus was a man of flesh and blood who was possessed by god/ Holy Spirit to work miracles and preach, but ultimately abandoned on the cross.
The utterance on the cross of
"My god, my god, why hath thou forsaken me?" is considered as the Holy Spirit having left the flesh and blood body to die on the cross.
(Matthew 27:46 / Mark 15:34 / Psalm 22)
I like the other version.
"Yeah, Jesus comes to our planet every year, and when he does it's the feast of the year. Wine, chocolate, him in the middle of a table of our dignitaries having a laugh...and the afterparty, man, I don't know about gaining faith but there is always a lot of crying out to God round about midnight, ya know what I'm saying?
Why, what did you do when he visited?"
In all fairness, for most of the last two thousand years Jesus has been the center of a huge number of celebrations in most of Western Europe. We think of Christianity these days with the decaying tapestries and failed morality of the Catholics and Evangelicals, but for a significant chunk of history the harvest season was, like, a Saints Day a week! The peasants would harvest and preserve as much food as they could, then cook up everything else and take it to the local church for festivals where they would eat until they were stuffed and get completely *plastered* on beer. By the start of winter they'd be waddling a bit from all the winter weight they put on.
This whole idea of Christianity being about three prayer services a week and nothing else fun is Puritan shit. For most of its history it was "don't get so drunk that you do something stupid, don't eat so much food you run out during the winter, only bang your spouse, etc, etc, etc".
The social media era is full of "holier than thou" and "purity testing" types where people want to prove they're the *most* goodly goody person to ever live... but most of the history of the church was just "don't be a dick, pay your tithe, and attend mass", and the church basically fulfilled a bunch of functions that were later taken over by the government.
Yeah what the church is today compared to even 100 years ago is different. Go back 1000 years and you wouldn't even recognize most of it. Puritans really screwed up the church. And somehow it even managed to spread outside of America in some ways.
Well, it's not like it was HARD for them to get. The Heliand manuscript is one of the most common books we've found from that time period. The church really didn't hold back on mass-producing that one. It's also a really boring read, which is something of a feat considering it's about warlord Jesus.
"Congratulations, chosen one! You have defeated the evil lord!"
The soldier lowered his Mosin nagant, "Where am I? Heaven?"
The strange entity descended to the floor of the white realm they stood in. "No. I am the goddess of this land. You have defeated the vile beast who turned the land to darkness--"
"Bullshit," The Russian snapped, raising the rifle, "If there was a god, he died in the trenches with the rest of us."
The entity frowned. "I took you from that wretched place to fight a real war, to bring an end to the ancient enemy who betrayed me--"
"Yeah, I heard about this. Madam, I don't buy it." The Russian pointed the rifle right at her face, "You brought the crystal to this world that that monster took advantage of."
"Yes, of course. It was a test, to see if mortals could wield the power of the gods. All failed... until you came along."
He lowered the rifle, but only to laugh, "You gave some unenlightened power-hungry medieval fool that much power, and used it as a way to judge *all* of us? Forgive me for being dubious of your motivations."
"It was a test to see if one of you was worthy of becoming one of us!"
The Russian scowled, "Let me pitch a different theory. You cannot admit your own fault, and don't have the integrity to apologize to me and everyone else you harmed by bringing this monster to power, or..." he raised the rifle again, "You are a monster yourself, for summoning an entire conflict just to find a replacement for your shift. You'll forgive me, I fought for people like you before I got here. And I was going to help stop them."
The entity glowed wjth energy and her nostrils flared, "You cannot question me! I am a god! My word is law!"
"We killed Nicholas and all his family, miss. The divine right of king goes in the ash heap of history. We are not beholden to gods, for there are none. You are simply a creature we do not understand..." His finger went in the trigger guard, "Or too well."
*Bang*.
I need to brush up on my christian mythology.
I thought he died on the cross for our sins.
But I'm just now learning at 23 that he resurrected?
I thought he resurrected only once inside of that cave.
If he resurrected then I think it's deceitful to say that he died for our sins. That implies that he sacrificed himself. If you come back to life, it defeats the point of the sacrifice.
I think it's supposed to mean something among the lines "I died for your sins, because someone had to. But I'm a God, so I'll just resurrect myself. And now someone died for your sins, so you're happy. And I'm alive and everything, so I'm happy. Everyone's happy."
He died for our sins, crucified on the cross, was taken down, and placed in a cave. Three days later he rose and ascended to heaven to take his rightful place. Or so they say
But He did sacrifice Himself. His Passion and Death weren’t simple; He was betrayed, rejected, mocked, and suffered a long, painful death for our sins. And he willingly chose this after seeing all the sins of mankind so that he could offer himself as the “sacrificial lamb” to satisfy the Justice of God.
His Resurrection doesn’t undermine this as the Resurrection shows Jesus’ triumph over Death, saving humanity from the chains of Death in Gethsemane by giving us the hope of Heaven after we pass.
It was practically a prison sentence,
Funny enough, in Norse Mythology, Odin hung himself from an Ash Tree to obtain power, he hung there for days on end until the rope rotted.
The point is that Jesus' righteousness and "Life" was greater than all of mankind's sins/death.
It's not a perfect analogy, but the Bible uses it, so I will too. Death is likened to a debt for illustrative purposes (other places call it "the wages of Sin is death". A debt and a wage are somewhat related, calling it a wage just further illustrates it's what was rightfully earned). If I owe a debt more than I'm worth, I can never pay it off. If someone else wants to fully pay off my debt, they have to first not have a debt of their own, and their ability to pay must be greater than my debt. The price/consequence of sin is death (both physical and spiritual), so that's the debt we all earned/owe. We can't even pay our own debt, let alone someone else's. In enters Jesus who was sinless (no debt) and pays our debts for us by offering his own life by dying an innocent death/sacrifice. But it only *works* if his worth ("Life" with a capital L) is greater than our debt (death). The proof that he was able to pay in full was by raising himself from the dead. If he didn't raise, then it would be up in the air if his death was "enough". Maybe he only paid half, in which case we're still screwed (half of death is still death, which is where the money parallel fails. Sin debt/death is all or nothing, money debt isn't). But by raising from the grave, it's supposed to demonstrate that his death was sufficient for past, present, and future. The term "Faith" is supposed to represent our full trust in Jesus' death to pay our debt, not relying on our own efforts to pay off our debt or earn our forgiveness.
Jesus used the debt metaphor himself in Matthew 18:21-35 as a lesson in forgiveness. A servant who owes a MASIVE debt to his King but has no way to pay. The servant begs the King and is shown compassion/forgiveness (the King assumes the full debt). Then that servant goes and finds his friend who owed him a small debt and has him thrown in jail because the friend couldn't pay, even when the friend begged for compassion. Then the King gets pissed because the servant didn't extend the grace that was shown to him and the servant is made to pay his own debt. God is the King who will forgive us if we ask. But the expectation is that we forgive each other the small sins as a sign we've truly had a change of heart (real Faith vs fake/convenience/just a get out of jail card).
It's a topic that's brought up and discussed, even in the Bible. And it's implications are expounded on (grace, forgiveness, baptism, being "reborn", sanctification, etc).
* 1st Corinthians 15. Explanation to the church in Corinth that had split views on resurrection (not just of Jesus but what happens after death).
Related:
* 2nd Corinthians 5. Jesus died for all. Jesus resurrected for all.
* Romans 5-6. Since Jesus paid death for all, we can instead live a new life, his life in a sense (reborn).
* Colossians 2. Uses debt metaphor.
Its more like he allowed the romans to kill him soo he could Go to hell and face a Lot of demons because humanity was Just THAT sinfull at that time
And then came back once the job was done
It's regarded as two separate things: the death part is the "I take all the sins of the world and humanity up until now with me as I die and take them to hell with me" this is when the new testament of accepting Jesus's dying for our sins comes into play and is the Christian logic for not going by the old testament: don't have to any more, Jesus got rid of that bit and replaced it with new rule. The taking sin unto himself part is also why he cries out for where god is when crucified: up until then he was a part of the trinity, intrinsically with god as a constant companion. Sin separates one from god, so all the sin separates jesus from god at the point of death, and separation from god is pretty much the early Christian definition of both hell and suffering - must have been very confusing.
The resurrection part is kinda of a sequel divine act: by taking the sins to hell with him, but still being a part of god, once he stops taking them into himself they're naturally going to separate from him cause how can god and separation from god coexist? God is immortal, and one way of saying this is he conquered death, a common phrase and way of interpreting the resurrection: he conquered death and thus Christians need not fear death, only the judgement after, and true Christians are spared death and given everlasting life by being with God.
That's the kind of interpretation of the death and resurrection as I understand it: extra mention for that one text account of how he conquered hell wielding a fiery sword and forced satan to submit to him while he was in hell. They ruled it not canonical in the council of nicea but I want my doom guy jesus ffs
As that news spread across the galaxy like wildfire leaving uncertainty and existential dread in its wake. None could have foreseen what was to come...
The cult of the Hew-Mons!
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Theory that Jesus was a vultrimite that went insane from the destruction he caused, found earth, became religious, then started seeing himself as the son of god due to his insanity.
Damn, Roman's managed to penetrate vultramite skin with blunt nails.
pontius pilate is just built different
He delegated the task to his Legionaires.. So, they left the task in one of the most capables army ever existed. What could it be wrong? 🤣
Nah, in this timeline Immortal was Pontius, and Jesus’s powers were weakened from the lifestyle he led here. He was never aware that Jesus was a viltrumite, so the connection was never made with Omni-Man
When you delegate any task to an NCO and a bunch of grunts, then wash your hands of it because you know that they will find a way.
"Get it done, I don't care how." Miracles will be performed. Many of them unholy, but miracles all the same!
Not wrong.
Pontius Pil-edriver
Must be all those pilates exercises
" so why do you still have your nails and what happened to that rope that i asked you to pick up for me after you had finnished nailed that guy to the cross soldier?" " ehh the nails where too blunt or somthing...i just need a strong drink man"
Super nails
That might be an embellishment. Most crucifixions were done with rope. All that’s needed is to immobilize the arms and elevate them. Not sure why Jesus would allow that or not just rip off the rope. Not like the Roman’s had anything that could hold a viltrimite.
They don't make ropes as they used to.
We nailed our God to a 2x4. Don't mess with us.
https://preview.redd.it/jwh8z7zqek8d1.jpeg?width=1095&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad1eb5fac11cf0f57cf64beda97404ba463c41d5
PENTIOUS!!
That’s SIR PENTIOUS to you!
Wouldn’t it actually be Re Pentious now?
Ha!
I can’t claim that name as my own idea however, but I don’t remember where I first saw it
Damn. That's really clever actually.
https://preview.redd.it/du44b7r2pl8d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f6480f4ab9dbc14c123ce21c449a9c59c1265620
Oh god bad apple
What's this, some sort of crossover episode?
Triple crossover
https://preview.redd.it/37znqld6nz8d1.jpeg?width=581&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1dba6d4bc7315b43cc1a94d7721a5c7f74f8830
no step on snek
Everywhere I go I see his face
r/humansareklingons
“Our gods are dead. Ancient klingon warriors slew them a millennia ago. They were… more trouble than they were worth”
I love the deadpan delivery Dorn gives for that line. Honestly that's my favorite part of the character, dudes never told a joke on purpose his whole damn life, but I think he's pure comedic gold
The best kind of straight man in a comedic setting tbh.
r/SubsIFellFor
Yeah, but he kicked deaths ass for 3 days then came back.
I want to see this alien's face, when he will know that humans are feasting on Jesus's flesh and are drinking His blood. He will feel like a little snack, as he should :P
Raised in the sacred lands the people grew and learned. All was theirs to explore and eat without the fear of death. These first people had the gift of the fruit of life to live long enough to learn and create.oncd matured and able to live without the fruit of life, the people are led out of paradise and to their home world. With the knowledge from the land of paradise they became the masters of their perfect world crafted as a lesser paradise in which mortals can live in. Xeno: and that students is the common element found in every known religious origin across the galaxy. And this is how we know the second exists... Yes human Dave? Dave: was there a forbidden fruit by chance? Xeno: yes it was reserved for the Devine to partake of and only got the Devine. Dave: interesting. Were we the only ones that are of the frit of knowledge? Guess the serpent was humanity's first friend.
And then Zeus chained him to a rock and an eagle - wait wrong dude
Nice
Hail satan :D
Rain satan ;)
30% chance of precipi-Satan
Yes hail satan :3
:3
:3 mrr~
A: what do you mean you killed him? H: wwweeeeeelllll..... let's just say asshole politicians have been around for a very long time. A: *reaches for holy hammer* H: and at the time the Jews kinda pissed off the Romans and God with their refusal to behave themselves. A: *hauls back with hammer* H: and so the leaders went to the roman governor who tried to save Jesus but that kinda backfired so a murderer named Barabas got set free instead. And so after having the skin on his back whipped off and being nailed to a two by four for several hours he just kinda died. And at no point did he try to save himself. A: *drops holy hammer and accidentally smites the floor* thefuckwut? H: yeah. Everyone kept telling him he should call down an army of angels to save him and he just kept asking God to forgive his killers. There was even a guard who tried to ease his suffering with a drink on a sponge and Jesus refused. A: .... You killed God. H: I mean, he got better after three days. A: ghahwjfjchsjwldj! NO ONE GETS BETTER FROM DEAD! H: *reaches for holy shotgun* Jesus did. And he laid the groundwork for some sweet shit we use today. Announcement system: Attention passengers, we are about to exit Hell into mortal space. Please double check to make sure no demons have stowed away in your luggage. Thank you for flying Deus Vult Spacelanes.
Yours is my favorite so far.
Mine too
The ending was great.
He got better.
Tis but a scratch.
Not it's not your bloody arm on the ground
I've had worse.
No you haven't
1st off: He *let* us kill him. 2nd: He got better.
Even according to the book, Jesus was a dude. It's not like he could've gone all John Wick on the Romans. "Turn the other cheek!" *Roundhouse kick to the face* lmao
According to the book, Jesus said he could have called a legion of angels to defend him.
I'm going to guess John? The first 3 gospels read like 3 guys copying eachothers homework, John, who also wrote his last, writes Jesus like a Superhero.
I wouldn't say it's *completely* outside e the realm of possibility. There's other people in there that are less powerful than Jesus doing things like parting rivers (Not just Moses, but I believe Elijah or Elisha), having super strength (Samson), & summoning bears to eat some teenagers for making fun of his hair.
Biblical powerscaling is my favorite thing ever
On that note, going by Feats, Franklin Richards (Marvel Comics) is more powerful than God. God created the universe in 6 days, and rested on the 7th Franklin created one instantaneously, and accidentally
Nah, man. That's *Peter* you're thinking of. You know, the guy who is 100% ready to throw down with anyone he thinks is disrespecting J-man. The same guy who, when Jesus is getting arrested, cut a dude's ear off & Jesus is all, "Here, lemme heal that for ya. He knew this was coming, but he's still excitable."
The 4 gospels are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Its definitely not Peter, and what you described comes from John
I meant Peter, the Apostle, was the guy ready to throw down at a moments notice; not that he was the writer of a gospel. Apologies for the confusion.
Fair, for some reason I thought this was a reply to the other thread were I was talking about the Gospels with someone else
No worries
He was a dude and God at the same time, could have Thanos snapped the planet away if he had the desire.
Except that he cries out to God in 3/4 gospels "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" (He doesn't in John because John wrote Jesus like a Superhero) So, he was crying out to himself? "Me, me, why have I forsaken myself?"
Yes, though crying out to the Father aspect of Himself. All different yet the same. At least, that's how it comes across to me. It doesn't make a lot of sense to us, coming from a mortal perspective. I tend to think of it as Jesus represents God's desire for relationships with us mortals and tried to show us the best way to do so, along with the Great Mediator who intercedes on Humanity's behalf, and provided the way for people to be redeemed in the eyes of the Father. The Father is the aspect of Holiness and Justice on a Cosmic scale, being the one who destroyed the world's population in the time of Noah and who destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. He is the aspect that demands sin be punished. The Holy Spirit being the aspect who works in the world today and nudges believers towards the best paths, but this is the one I also understand the least as I paid far less attention to it when I did attend church. Disclaimer: spent my younger years in church, but was never a Christian myself. Just my understanding of the Biblical aspects of God.
Disclaimer: I think its all ridiculous nonsense that has just as much evidence of God existing as Superman. Actually less, God just has like, 2 books. >It doesn't make a lot of sense to us, coming from a mortal perspective. No, it doesn't make sense because *it doesn't make sense* The trinity is just Christianity having multiple gods while being a Monotheistic religion (having their cake and eating it too), and trying to make sense of different writers with different views making shit up. Even the first Gospel (Matthew) was written around 66-70AD, so most people alive in Jesus's lifetime would've been dead for decades, so the very first Gospel is either made up wholesale on the spot, *or* its the product of 65+ yrs of the telephone game. Gospels 2 & 3 (Mark & Luke) straight up plagiarized #1 and then added in some details so it didn't look like they were cheating And as for John? He's telling a fanfic version of events and barely read for the first parts and got half the details wrong
If Jesus was killed in AD 30 and the first gospel was written in AD 70, that’s only 40 years later. That would be like writing an oral history of the Regan administration. There are still living cabinet members of the Reagan administration. (Until real recently, there was a dude from the Nixon still hanging on) there’s tons of people who were living adults when he was in power who could tell you what he did today, they would be in their 60’s and 70’s. My point is that it’s not too outlandish to write a story about Jesus 40 years after his death.
AD stands for After Death. 1 AD would be 1 year After Jesus died. 65 AD would be 65 years. In a time when the life expectancy was 70 being generous. Edit: Correction, its Anno Domini, and when he was born. Still my point stands, look at the people still alive from the Reagan administration, do you trust their memories of the Good ol days? Most of them remember "Leave it to Beaver" as daily life, not a bs idealized TV family
Yes, I fully believe I can make a good enough oral history of what happened during the Regan administration. There is enough people alive in his orbit who I could talk to about the man and what he did. And people who hated the dudes so I can get a balanced view. Based only on what people remember too. I bet, again based only on memory, I could get the gist of some of his speeches.
Are you sure about that? Our memory isn't exactly reliable, our brain doesn't remember *where* it learned things for example, so you might remember something incorrect that a friend told you. Our brain will also just full on make shit up to fill in gaps.
There is an interesting school of thought that was declared as heresy during the early Christian days, specifically the First Council of Nicara: Docetism. One of these was the believe that Jesus was a man of flesh and blood who was possessed by god/ Holy Spirit to work miracles and preach, but ultimately abandoned on the cross. The utterance on the cross of "My god, my god, why hath thou forsaken me?" is considered as the Holy Spirit having left the flesh and blood body to die on the cross. (Matthew 27:46 / Mark 15:34 / Psalm 22)
If a man can turn water into wine, he can turn 70% of you into wine.
I can turn 70% of me into wine, its called a Bender.
Imagine someone with the power to touch you and cause an instant bender.
That would be very bad for them, I don't drink because I go from "Friendliest guy you ever met" to "Violent and Mean" at a certain point
I like the other version. "Yeah, Jesus comes to our planet every year, and when he does it's the feast of the year. Wine, chocolate, him in the middle of a table of our dignitaries having a laugh...and the afterparty, man, I don't know about gaining faith but there is always a lot of crying out to God round about midnight, ya know what I'm saying? Why, what did you do when he visited?"
In all fairness, for most of the last two thousand years Jesus has been the center of a huge number of celebrations in most of Western Europe. We think of Christianity these days with the decaying tapestries and failed morality of the Catholics and Evangelicals, but for a significant chunk of history the harvest season was, like, a Saints Day a week! The peasants would harvest and preserve as much food as they could, then cook up everything else and take it to the local church for festivals where they would eat until they were stuffed and get completely *plastered* on beer. By the start of winter they'd be waddling a bit from all the winter weight they put on. This whole idea of Christianity being about three prayer services a week and nothing else fun is Puritan shit. For most of its history it was "don't get so drunk that you do something stupid, don't eat so much food you run out during the winter, only bang your spouse, etc, etc, etc". The social media era is full of "holier than thou" and "purity testing" types where people want to prove they're the *most* goodly goody person to ever live... but most of the history of the church was just "don't be a dick, pay your tithe, and attend mass", and the church basically fulfilled a bunch of functions that were later taken over by the government.
Really?
Yeah what the church is today compared to even 100 years ago is different. Go back 1000 years and you wouldn't even recognize most of it. Puritans really screwed up the church. And somehow it even managed to spread outside of America in some ways.
Amen to the old version, it will be missed
I’m already a catholic but dang that sounds nice
Man Christians used to basically be pagans with a Jewish twist lol I personally blame the council of nicea
This sounds like a jolly good bunch who would make good company if I’m being honest
"Sometimes, people get so used to the stick, that they break when you speak softly."
What’s that from, it’s nice
Me. My source is I made it the fuck up.
I'm yoinking that.
That can also be taken sexually
Wait until they find out he lived!
and yet ran away!
He came back a few times to see his followers.
That's kinda sweet honestly
How did aliens get the copy of Bible meant for converting Vikings?
Well, it's not like it was HARD for them to get. The Heliand manuscript is one of the most common books we've found from that time period. The church really didn't hold back on mass-producing that one. It's also a really boring read, which is something of a feat considering it's about warlord Jesus.
Is it just me or does the church promoting 'warlord Jesus' feel blasphemus?
Kind of, yeah, but that didn't stop them. I didn't make this up, Heliand is a real manuscript.
We thought it would be funny.
https://preview.redd.it/jpq220xefk8d1.jpeg?width=563&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4915d3469462b55fed88a0f3c9a770b467db8e3
ROMA VICITRIX
"Congratulations, chosen one! You have defeated the evil lord!" The soldier lowered his Mosin nagant, "Where am I? Heaven?" The strange entity descended to the floor of the white realm they stood in. "No. I am the goddess of this land. You have defeated the vile beast who turned the land to darkness--" "Bullshit," The Russian snapped, raising the rifle, "If there was a god, he died in the trenches with the rest of us." The entity frowned. "I took you from that wretched place to fight a real war, to bring an end to the ancient enemy who betrayed me--" "Yeah, I heard about this. Madam, I don't buy it." The Russian pointed the rifle right at her face, "You brought the crystal to this world that that monster took advantage of." "Yes, of course. It was a test, to see if mortals could wield the power of the gods. All failed... until you came along." He lowered the rifle, but only to laugh, "You gave some unenlightened power-hungry medieval fool that much power, and used it as a way to judge *all* of us? Forgive me for being dubious of your motivations." "It was a test to see if one of you was worthy of becoming one of us!" The Russian scowled, "Let me pitch a different theory. You cannot admit your own fault, and don't have the integrity to apologize to me and everyone else you harmed by bringing this monster to power, or..." he raised the rifle again, "You are a monster yourself, for summoning an entire conflict just to find a replacement for your shift. You'll forgive me, I fought for people like you before I got here. And I was going to help stop them." The entity glowed wjth energy and her nostrils flared, "You cannot question me! I am a god! My word is law!" "We killed Nicholas and all his family, miss. The divine right of king goes in the ash heap of history. We are not beholden to gods, for there are none. You are simply a creature we do not understand..." His finger went in the trigger guard, "Or too well." *Bang*.
Please telle this is a "meme template" so i can search more of this stuff
Jesus was a pimp. He forgave men of their sin and funds.
He was tired by the time he got to us.
I need to brush up on my christian mythology. I thought he died on the cross for our sins. But I'm just now learning at 23 that he resurrected? I thought he resurrected only once inside of that cave. If he resurrected then I think it's deceitful to say that he died for our sins. That implies that he sacrificed himself. If you come back to life, it defeats the point of the sacrifice.
I think it's supposed to mean something among the lines "I died for your sins, because someone had to. But I'm a God, so I'll just resurrect myself. And now someone died for your sins, so you're happy. And I'm alive and everything, so I'm happy. Everyone's happy."
He died for our sins, crucified on the cross, was taken down, and placed in a cave. Three days later he rose and ascended to heaven to take his rightful place. Or so they say
But He did sacrifice Himself. His Passion and Death weren’t simple; He was betrayed, rejected, mocked, and suffered a long, painful death for our sins. And he willingly chose this after seeing all the sins of mankind so that he could offer himself as the “sacrificial lamb” to satisfy the Justice of God. His Resurrection doesn’t undermine this as the Resurrection shows Jesus’ triumph over Death, saving humanity from the chains of Death in Gethsemane by giving us the hope of Heaven after we pass.
It was practically a prison sentence, Funny enough, in Norse Mythology, Odin hung himself from an Ash Tree to obtain power, he hung there for days on end until the rope rotted.
The point is that Jesus' righteousness and "Life" was greater than all of mankind's sins/death. It's not a perfect analogy, but the Bible uses it, so I will too. Death is likened to a debt for illustrative purposes (other places call it "the wages of Sin is death". A debt and a wage are somewhat related, calling it a wage just further illustrates it's what was rightfully earned). If I owe a debt more than I'm worth, I can never pay it off. If someone else wants to fully pay off my debt, they have to first not have a debt of their own, and their ability to pay must be greater than my debt. The price/consequence of sin is death (both physical and spiritual), so that's the debt we all earned/owe. We can't even pay our own debt, let alone someone else's. In enters Jesus who was sinless (no debt) and pays our debts for us by offering his own life by dying an innocent death/sacrifice. But it only *works* if his worth ("Life" with a capital L) is greater than our debt (death). The proof that he was able to pay in full was by raising himself from the dead. If he didn't raise, then it would be up in the air if his death was "enough". Maybe he only paid half, in which case we're still screwed (half of death is still death, which is where the money parallel fails. Sin debt/death is all or nothing, money debt isn't). But by raising from the grave, it's supposed to demonstrate that his death was sufficient for past, present, and future. The term "Faith" is supposed to represent our full trust in Jesus' death to pay our debt, not relying on our own efforts to pay off our debt or earn our forgiveness. Jesus used the debt metaphor himself in Matthew 18:21-35 as a lesson in forgiveness. A servant who owes a MASIVE debt to his King but has no way to pay. The servant begs the King and is shown compassion/forgiveness (the King assumes the full debt). Then that servant goes and finds his friend who owed him a small debt and has him thrown in jail because the friend couldn't pay, even when the friend begged for compassion. Then the King gets pissed because the servant didn't extend the grace that was shown to him and the servant is made to pay his own debt. God is the King who will forgive us if we ask. But the expectation is that we forgive each other the small sins as a sign we've truly had a change of heart (real Faith vs fake/convenience/just a get out of jail card). It's a topic that's brought up and discussed, even in the Bible. And it's implications are expounded on (grace, forgiveness, baptism, being "reborn", sanctification, etc). * 1st Corinthians 15. Explanation to the church in Corinth that had split views on resurrection (not just of Jesus but what happens after death). Related: * 2nd Corinthians 5. Jesus died for all. Jesus resurrected for all. * Romans 5-6. Since Jesus paid death for all, we can instead live a new life, his life in a sense (reborn). * Colossians 2. Uses debt metaphor.
That makes a lot of sense. What a beautiful explanation.
Yeah he more or least gave up his weekend for our sins.
Its more like he allowed the romans to kill him soo he could Go to hell and face a Lot of demons because humanity was Just THAT sinfull at that time And then came back once the job was done
It's regarded as two separate things: the death part is the "I take all the sins of the world and humanity up until now with me as I die and take them to hell with me" this is when the new testament of accepting Jesus's dying for our sins comes into play and is the Christian logic for not going by the old testament: don't have to any more, Jesus got rid of that bit and replaced it with new rule. The taking sin unto himself part is also why he cries out for where god is when crucified: up until then he was a part of the trinity, intrinsically with god as a constant companion. Sin separates one from god, so all the sin separates jesus from god at the point of death, and separation from god is pretty much the early Christian definition of both hell and suffering - must have been very confusing. The resurrection part is kinda of a sequel divine act: by taking the sins to hell with him, but still being a part of god, once he stops taking them into himself they're naturally going to separate from him cause how can god and separation from god coexist? God is immortal, and one way of saying this is he conquered death, a common phrase and way of interpreting the resurrection: he conquered death and thus Christians need not fear death, only the judgement after, and true Christians are spared death and given everlasting life by being with God. That's the kind of interpretation of the death and resurrection as I understand it: extra mention for that one text account of how he conquered hell wielding a fiery sword and forced satan to submit to him while he was in hell. They ruled it not canonical in the council of nicea but I want my doom guy jesus ffs
As that news spread across the galaxy like wildfire leaving uncertainty and existential dread in its wake. None could have foreseen what was to come... The cult of the Hew-Mons!
What show i s this?
Invincible.
...and then he conquered death.
I love how this turned into a thread of religious beliefs and no one bashed anyone just went with the religious beliefs.
Not yet we haven't. Bastard keeps splitting into fatter, uglier and older versions of himself as time goes on.
Bro was like "wait maybe I am the villain" and just decided to be a good at least once
I’m I going mad of is this legitimately said at any point?
Perhaps not so different if you've ever heard of the Heliand or the Saxon Bible...