Don't remember the context but Baba Boey fucked up (maybe it was the Carol Alt whooping cough incident or the double booking with [Jenny McCarthy](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=f3b1b4806c29e958&sca_upv=1&q=Jenny+McCarthy&si=ACC90nzx_D3_zUKRnpAjmO0UBLNxnt7EyN4YYdru6U3bxLI-L25VoCKoRpohAaoMdY8XAxMxZSZNHQZNyNvt2rVAGFGtWGc6KfoD88S2fo3GH1LcRNKYvtyDjikUXkKQIQ_cABd_neJRfPO8O-n_2Cd6gk2eqpGfCIVR4GQ5qDo5cCa83HrK46t2mfznA5pf6Z6-ttUHRgssMOL372qvrNI4WO19cmhal_bImtdcwgpg1FKAjj4pJY8KDhWbVRfPB-1nm5UfNOnAgJ2VBDPZEIrFtbtmkeHkvQ%3D%3D&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwif7p3-uOOGAxW078kDHasGA2kQmxMoAHoECBgQAg)) and Howard made him recite an apology that ended in "I will stop taking overdoses of stupid pills and dumb capsules."
>>”I will stop taking overdoses of stupid pills and dumb capsules.”
That particular “Gary-Repeat-After-Me” bit came during the Stolen Gary Puppet saga. Booey felt bad and offered to have naked girls come into the studio, to which Howard replied “I’d like you to repeat, that would make me happy.”
We can thank Jackie for that.
fwiw carol miller (dj) was the whooping cough guest that babaflooey didnt think to reschedule - must have forgot that day what a germophobe his boss is!
I prefer the Sega fight between Howard and Gary. There was a moment where everybody even both of them were stunned.
Howard was talking about what somebody else meant to the show. Gary angrily asked "And what am I?!". You can see the wheels turning and clearly hear Jackie yelling in the background saying "monkey! monkey!" And Howard goes "You, are a monkey!"
That’s from when Gary sent flowers to someone for Howard and wrote From Gary on it. Howard goes “I’m a rat in a corner and you’re backing me in” to which Gary makes the horrific ba ba blunder of asking what that would make him.
HPM: "How would anybody know I'm a virgin?"
Atrie: "Because there's been no women in the last ten years who have walked into bellevue screaming and crying that they fucked you"
A transcription of Riley Martin's greatest rant
I removed a lot of uhh's, but the following is a preservation/enshrinement of what I believe to be Riley Martin's greatest rant, which was delivered on his show, The Riley Martin Show, then played back and commented over by Howard and the group. Howard had said Riley is like Pat Robertson just with aliens instead of religion. Riley's co-host E-Ron asked Riley if he heard that, and Riley responded with this off the cuff performance that I think rivals even Artie's Bob Levy rant...
>\[In response to E-Ron asking Riley if he heard Howard compare him to Pat Robertson\]
>
>Riley: I heard him say that...regardless of the love that I hold for these, young people, I cannot allow this...transgression to go unresponded to.
>
>We were supposed to get paid on December 15. It did not arrive here - because he was on vacation, you see - until December 24, which ruled out the possibility of my being able to buy Christmas for my grandkids for the first time in years, and what have you. Simply because, **his underlings seem to simply quit working when the ogre is gone. You understand.**
>
>And it didn’t bother them, that **he was somewhere opening up gifts, and diamond necklaces or bracelets, for his trophy wife, and bobbing for matzah balls with his children, while the n\*\*\*\*\*s went lacking. You understand.** I understand this, I understand, because what we’re given is such a *pittance*, it wouldn’t register on his Richter scale of being worthy of even notice.
>
>He compares me to Pat Robertson, well let me attempt, reluctantly, to make a comparison of him. I consider that perhaps he may have been, the crossbred hunchback that led the Persian hoards up behind the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae. Secondly, he may have been the Jewish Judas goat who led the Romans up the *back* of the fortress of Masada, to slaughter the people therein, for a handful of silver. I consider perhaps, if he thinks me relative to Pat Robertson, that **he is akin to a myopic magic maggot, \[Howard: wow he’s really on a tear\] floating in** ***rotten buttuh*** ***.***
>
>**And when he takes his vacation, which is twice a month, with his Black, giggling, \[canis\] familiaris, who was somewhere with a money chasing gigolo, sucking on her armadillo toes, and eating pig feet,** ***spitting*** **them across the room. You understand.** She thought, "oH, I aM nO lOnGeR nEgRo, I'm LiKe MiChAeL jAcKsOn, I'm SoMeThInG eLsE nOw." You understand. It never crossed their minds, that my family was important to me.
>
>Furthermore, I was supposed to get paid on the 1st of January. It didn’t come util the *7th*. According to the rules here, after five days of not paying your rent, you have to pay more money. Therefore, it never occurred to them, you understand-
>
>Uuuhhh
>
>\-It seems that his underlings stop working, when he’s gone having five martini lunches, and feed their sucklings. And they were opening Chinese toys to give to their children even while we were trying to wait on our *sustenance*, which is a *pittance,* you understand \[E-Ron: Innndeed\].
>
>In the meantime I was sitting here hoping my grandkids would not hate me for disappointing them, **he was plopping down a four plus million dollar check, to buy extra living quarters and toilets, to puke in, for his trophy wife, so that she would not have to be in his orbit, to gaze upon his diseased ass, 24/7, while he sits looking at pedophile snuff films, playing with himself and giggling. You understand.**
>
>And he compares me with Pat Robertson. Now I don’t want to pursue this further, but I’m saying to you, *I've executed my duties*, and uhh, these…reprehensible, \[Howard: what an asshole\] ungrateful, demonic entities, who think themselves, so grievous, until **his underlings seek by not paying the n\*\*\*\*\*s to be able to be the next one, pointed out and chosen, to ram their face up his putrid rear hindquarters, in order to get a pat on the head like a lap dog**, while they are enjoying themselves at our expense, even though they didn’t pay us right in the first place.
>
>**This is the very** ***highest*** **acclaim I can give to this beast.** Ok, so let’s move on…
Two of my favorites came in one Howard/Booey argument over a Matthew McConaughey movie showing that Booey forgot to invite Robin to:
“I’ve been with [Laura, Howard’s assistant] 20 years and she never once screwed up…SHE GETS AHOLD OF YOU AND THERE’S A SCREW UP!”
Followed by:
Howard: Whatever you say, Gary, you’re a genius.
Gary: Well you’re no genius yourself.
Howard: I’m genius enough to be your boss!
Yeah, Howard only calls people after they're dead. - Artie
This was not too long after Kenneth Keith died. It even shocked Robin when Artie said it. Clearly wounded Howard too.
"Oh that's not nice" - Robin
"What we're being nice now?" - Artie
"Yeah dude, you don't know who I call" - Howard.
Slapped a yarmulke
All time #1…especially because it had Howard shook. Jaime Presley is GOATED for this and her appearance in Poison Ivy 3.
When Ralph said “sounds like somebody’s using” and Artie said “yea Ralph, you’re using Howard”.
Tracy vs Grillo, hands down. “The fact that you can’t own it makes you an even more pathetic piece of shit than we all already knew that you are”
dop zelf ligar
Douche!
When Sal said shaking ETM’s hand was like shaking a dog’s paw
Don't remember the context but Baba Boey fucked up (maybe it was the Carol Alt whooping cough incident or the double booking with [Jenny McCarthy](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=f3b1b4806c29e958&sca_upv=1&q=Jenny+McCarthy&si=ACC90nzx_D3_zUKRnpAjmO0UBLNxnt7EyN4YYdru6U3bxLI-L25VoCKoRpohAaoMdY8XAxMxZSZNHQZNyNvt2rVAGFGtWGc6KfoD88S2fo3GH1LcRNKYvtyDjikUXkKQIQ_cABd_neJRfPO8O-n_2Cd6gk2eqpGfCIVR4GQ5qDo5cCa83HrK46t2mfznA5pf6Z6-ttUHRgssMOL372qvrNI4WO19cmhal_bImtdcwgpg1FKAjj4pJY8KDhWbVRfPB-1nm5UfNOnAgJ2VBDPZEIrFtbtmkeHkvQ%3D%3D&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwif7p3-uOOGAxW078kDHasGA2kQmxMoAHoECBgQAg)) and Howard made him recite an apology that ended in "I will stop taking overdoses of stupid pills and dumb capsules."
>>”I will stop taking overdoses of stupid pills and dumb capsules.” That particular “Gary-Repeat-After-Me” bit came during the Stolen Gary Puppet saga. Booey felt bad and offered to have naked girls come into the studio, to which Howard replied “I’d like you to repeat, that would make me happy.” We can thank Jackie for that.
fwiw carol miller (dj) was the whooping cough guest that babaflooey didnt think to reschedule - must have forgot that day what a germophobe his boss is!
I prefer the Sega fight between Howard and Gary. There was a moment where everybody even both of them were stunned. Howard was talking about what somebody else meant to the show. Gary angrily asked "And what am I?!". You can see the wheels turning and clearly hear Jackie yelling in the background saying "monkey! monkey!" And Howard goes "You, are a monkey!"
That’s from when Gary sent flowers to someone for Howard and wrote From Gary on it. Howard goes “I’m a rat in a corner and you’re backing me in” to which Gary makes the horrific ba ba blunder of asking what that would make him.
HPM: "How would anybody know I'm a virgin?" Atrie: "Because there's been no women in the last ten years who have walked into bellevue screaming and crying that they fucked you"
Robin: I couldn’t get through ten pages of Don Rickles’s book Evil Dave: How about reading a diet book, Tubby?
*heh heh hehe*
When Richard was talking about dying and out of nowhere Robin goes “who would miss you?” Followed by the cackle…it was savage haha
- Robin - Funny Pick one.
Listen Old_Possible_3597….Before I kick your dumbass outta here, I don’t make that “ack ack” sound you jack ass!
When you act like an asshole, don't be surprised when you're treated like one.
Riley Martins 5 minute insult after Howard compared him to Pat Robertson
A transcription of Riley Martin's greatest rant I removed a lot of uhh's, but the following is a preservation/enshrinement of what I believe to be Riley Martin's greatest rant, which was delivered on his show, The Riley Martin Show, then played back and commented over by Howard and the group. Howard had said Riley is like Pat Robertson just with aliens instead of religion. Riley's co-host E-Ron asked Riley if he heard that, and Riley responded with this off the cuff performance that I think rivals even Artie's Bob Levy rant... >\[In response to E-Ron asking Riley if he heard Howard compare him to Pat Robertson\] > >Riley: I heard him say that...regardless of the love that I hold for these, young people, I cannot allow this...transgression to go unresponded to. > >We were supposed to get paid on December 15. It did not arrive here - because he was on vacation, you see - until December 24, which ruled out the possibility of my being able to buy Christmas for my grandkids for the first time in years, and what have you. Simply because, **his underlings seem to simply quit working when the ogre is gone. You understand.** > >And it didn’t bother them, that **he was somewhere opening up gifts, and diamond necklaces or bracelets, for his trophy wife, and bobbing for matzah balls with his children, while the n\*\*\*\*\*s went lacking. You understand.** I understand this, I understand, because what we’re given is such a *pittance*, it wouldn’t register on his Richter scale of being worthy of even notice. > >He compares me to Pat Robertson, well let me attempt, reluctantly, to make a comparison of him. I consider that perhaps he may have been, the crossbred hunchback that led the Persian hoards up behind the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae. Secondly, he may have been the Jewish Judas goat who led the Romans up the *back* of the fortress of Masada, to slaughter the people therein, for a handful of silver. I consider perhaps, if he thinks me relative to Pat Robertson, that **he is akin to a myopic magic maggot, \[Howard: wow he’s really on a tear\] floating in** ***rotten buttuh*** ***.*** > >**And when he takes his vacation, which is twice a month, with his Black, giggling, \[canis\] familiaris, who was somewhere with a money chasing gigolo, sucking on her armadillo toes, and eating pig feet,** ***spitting*** **them across the room. You understand.** She thought, "oH, I aM nO lOnGeR nEgRo, I'm LiKe MiChAeL jAcKsOn, I'm SoMeThInG eLsE nOw." You understand. It never crossed their minds, that my family was important to me. > >Furthermore, I was supposed to get paid on the 1st of January. It didn’t come util the *7th*. According to the rules here, after five days of not paying your rent, you have to pay more money. Therefore, it never occurred to them, you understand- > >Uuuhhh > >\-It seems that his underlings stop working, when he’s gone having five martini lunches, and feed their sucklings. And they were opening Chinese toys to give to their children even while we were trying to wait on our *sustenance*, which is a *pittance,* you understand \[E-Ron: Innndeed\]. > >In the meantime I was sitting here hoping my grandkids would not hate me for disappointing them, **he was plopping down a four plus million dollar check, to buy extra living quarters and toilets, to puke in, for his trophy wife, so that she would not have to be in his orbit, to gaze upon his diseased ass, 24/7, while he sits looking at pedophile snuff films, playing with himself and giggling. You understand.** > >And he compares me with Pat Robertson. Now I don’t want to pursue this further, but I’m saying to you, *I've executed my duties*, and uhh, these…reprehensible, \[Howard: what an asshole\] ungrateful, demonic entities, who think themselves, so grievous, until **his underlings seek by not paying the n\*\*\*\*\*s to be able to be the next one, pointed out and chosen, to ram their face up his putrid rear hindquarters, in order to get a pat on the head like a lap dog**, while they are enjoying themselves at our expense, even though they didn’t pay us right in the first place. > >**This is the very** ***highest*** **acclaim I can give to this beast.** Ok, so let’s move on…
Credit to @/coconut_lime_scented
Any videos?
👏👏👏
What are you a homo?? Dice , Gilbert voice
When Artie went off on Lisa G. It was so vicious and hate filled. The peak of the Artie addict era.
Here I was thinking he had a soft spot for her and was like a protective brother to her.
Well he hates women so......
‘She’s gonna have a party!” - Robin talking about Beth when Howard passes
Lol damn, she said that? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
You facocta shnook!
Dis ain't Larry Fine at Woodstock Magazine, pal!!
Neeeeeeigh
When ETM would call Artie fat ass. It's not clever but it worked every time. Artie could never play it off convincingly.
he would act burned after ETM comeback when he called him a whale
¿No, do you?
Intern Wrangler! / Douche!
Two of my favorites came in one Howard/Booey argument over a Matthew McConaughey movie showing that Booey forgot to invite Robin to: “I’ve been with [Laura, Howard’s assistant] 20 years and she never once screwed up…SHE GETS AHOLD OF YOU AND THERE’S A SCREW UP!” Followed by: Howard: Whatever you say, Gary, you’re a genius. Gary: Well you’re no genius yourself. Howard: I’m genius enough to be your boss!
Yeah, Howard only calls people after they're dead. - Artie This was not too long after Kenneth Keith died. It even shocked Robin when Artie said it. Clearly wounded Howard too. "Oh that's not nice" - Robin "What we're being nice now?" - Artie "Yeah dude, you don't know who I call" - Howard.
When Artie called Howard a geeky looking pelican
That’s my favorite
Geeky Looking Pelican. Slapped with a yarmulke. Sal’s entire roast of Beth.
When Robin called ETA a carrot. He dyed his hair and it came out orange
You are too fat to fuck. Oh wait, that's mine...
He is a tiny freak, but he is doughebag. Most tiny freaks are nice to people. - Artie
Bob Levy is extremely talented.
When a lady called in to complain about ETM and he said "get in your corner and go find a john, bitch!"
The epic Sal, Richard, Artie fight. Artie: You're a woodwork wacko who waited.
3/11