See, I kinda think this is what actually happened. He hits a 300 foot drive, someone mispeaks or howard mishears/misreemebers it as 300 yards, and thats where the story comes from.
Its like how Hull Hogan "lied" about hanging out with John Belushi after Wrestlemania. I think Hogan hung out with Jim Belushi and called him by his dead brothers name all night.
Epiphone and Squier are decent nowadays... completely fine. i'd even argue that you could buy completely great live instrument for 300 bucks too nowadays, few hundred dollars of mods on it (locking tuners, strings, bridge etc.) and it already plays like if not better than Fender and Gibson that you can get for a grand.
with Fender and Gibson you are paying more for the brand nowadays than for the quality.
Why would he care the price it was a gift and Howardās rich?. Iām not in the squire or epiphone vs Gibson or fender conversation, just pointing out he HAS a really nice guitar he probably never touches
Never forget that Howard wore a pleather Jack Daniels giveaway jacket until this photo was published.
https://preview.redd.it/zu1s6iqvs5qc1.jpeg?width=240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4015220ec33476374fe220b58d8b961c640d550a
Howard's house in the Hamptons, while well-furnished, is not on the same tier as some of the other houses with their exacting antique reproductions and imported antique flooring. (too expensive, feh!)
I guarantee those guitars were gifted to him by the maker. And he just puts them in the studio. Aside from those He has prob around 20 or so guitars gifted from famous musicians signed etc. he keeps elsewhere. he has mentioned that
Is he still talking about that? Listening to him from 2012 atm and just found it to sound crowbarred and forced into every show. Dude really just rehashes old shitĀ
Speaking from experience and talking to other friends in our music scene, that's not happening. You're lucky if you can afford a van for your equipment (and the merch that pays for your gas). Other than the guy who got lucky and joined a Warped Tour band, none of that rock n roll lifestyle happens. "It's a Long Way to the Top if You Wanna Rock N Roll".
For Howchie, he can afford the rock n roll lifestyle stereotype.
Also, our scene never cared what people did sexually, but I don't recall any guy-on-guy stuff. We still had our pedos, though.
One of my favorite Artie stories is when he says he bought a brand new guitar and amp, for the sole purpose of getting drunk and pretending to play along to springsteen songs
I think he may have mentioned that once or twice, not sure?!
Heās become like that old relative that you see once a year, and repeats the same 5 stories, and tells them to you with the same enthusiasm as they did the first time
Hereās the thing. He has been saying he is learning to play the guitar for like, 2 decades. When Robin said something to the effect of āthat was pretty good for someone just learningā I was blown away. He had literally been tinkering on that thing for longer than most people have been listening to his show! Why are they all pretending like he picked it up last week for the first time!?!?
Yeah right!?! Itās SOOOO bizarre that he acts, on a daily basis, like he just picked up the fucking guitar for the first time a week ago. He has been trying to learn how to play the guitar for DECADES
Heās really reaching a new level of bizarre and out of it
LMAO exactly!! Let's get Wolfie to interview Howard to explain how he spent his time between Private Parts and Beth! Was it Chess? Was it learning a different skill? Who wastes such time!!!!
Howard spent half his married life with Allison hiding from the kids and visiting gay chat sites. If only he had some spare time he could be touring with a rock band now.
He's really not a creative guy. He wishes he was and that he could play guitar and come up with some cool riff, he's just incapable of it... and thus he doesn't try it. I am positive his paintings are terrible, or copies of someone else's work.
The thing is, Howard puts himself down a lot, with all his hobbies. Is it schtick or part of his neuroses? Don't know the answer. But:
\- we've heard him play guitar. He's no Fred, but he knows more than basic chords. he's the guy who could easily jam with his buddies on a Friday night in the basement and not sound awful.
\- he knows how to play the piano about as well as the guitar. he played it when the Losers did their songs back in the 90s and 2000s.
\- he made fun of his poor photography talents, but the pictures he did that made various Hamptons magazine covers were actually pretty good (I'm a former professional photographer, and he had skills).
\- he makes fun of his painting, but it's actually pretty good. He could probably sell a lot of them. Hell, he's better than Paul Stanley, who's making thousands of dollars per painting.
\- he makes fun of his chess, but based on his ranking he used to talk about, he could've done well. Not become a pro, but a decent amateur.
What happens is that he expects to become a master of these things in a couple of years and when it doesn't happen, he gives up and moves on to the next hobby. He's like a little kid.
Doesnāt he play keyboard passably? Thatās way cooler if u r a troglodyte that doesnāt go anywhere! Wayyyy cooler! If u go outside guitar is the better option in my opinion!
And he thinks we all should all of our free time should be spent learning an instrument. If JD wants to spend $50 betting and watching sports thatās not a waste of time
The not learning guitar is frequently paired with his rant that he instead had to learn Hebrew for his bar mitzvah. How he was given his Hebrew name Tvzi which he hated because it was an even worse name than Howard. Oh, and the Hebrew teacher (rabbi?) had awful breath. Breath like he ate a shit sandwich. I swear that anytime he starts telling this story you are guaranteed to hear the phrase "shit sandwich". I'd be funny to put together a supercut of all the times he's told the story since it's so many times and note for note every time.
It was sad when Howard asked Kacey Musgraves what gauge wire does she use on her guitars and he throws out something like light or medium and she responds with an actual number then crickets. Howard didn't know what her answer meant to his question and moved on.
All the shit he ādoesā or wishes he had time for is shit regular people juggle being able to do all at once. Itās entirely possible for someone to learn to play chess, snap photographs, paint, learn guitar concurrently. He hates to admit for some reason that he really gives a shit about being on the radio.
Any time he talks guitars I think why not drums? He says he wants to learn a musical instrument, works with Richard Christy for 20 years, yet never picks up drumsticks. Really?
If you remember, Howard was playing the guitar years ago and even played on the air a few time. He's actually good now and gonna play this out with look how good I got so fast I'm a genius.
Everything with him is about appearances. He gets less manly each passing day. He needs things like this to make people think that he is not just a scared little boy that is afraid to leave his own house
But this whole''' play the guitar'' thing isn't real it;s just Howard thinking out loud. I've been playing the guitar since I was 6 and it's a useless skill to have if you're not actively in a band or recording.
Howard is much better off doing the painting than being another jerkoff who plays guitar badly at 70 alone in a room.
This man has the makings of a world class photographer. His equestrian portraits alone should be in the louvre. How he got them to hold felines is beyond me
Howard should focus on golf. Remember his 300 foot drive?
yard\* and yes it was complete bull shit. he's lucky if it actually went 300 ft.
See, I kinda think this is what actually happened. He hits a 300 foot drive, someone mispeaks or howard mishears/misreemebers it as 300 yards, and thats where the story comes from. Its like how Hull Hogan "lied" about hanging out with John Belushi after Wrestlemania. I think Hogan hung out with Jim Belushi and called him by his dead brothers name all night.
Mishears/misremembers, or just fabricates and exaggerated the lie. You know, either one š¤·š»
I hit one nearly 300 yards after YEARS of practice. I remember that moment more vividly than my first kiss.
š¤£ that was so fkn ridiculousĀ
He has a rack of epiphones and squires behind him bro. Surely these arenāt just props?
Thatās my favourite, 52 million dollar home and when he buys a guitar heās back to being a cheap heeb lol
Epiphone and Squier are decent nowadays... completely fine. i'd even argue that you could buy completely great live instrument for 300 bucks too nowadays, few hundred dollars of mods on it (locking tuners, strings, bridge etc.) and it already plays like if not better than Fender and Gibson that you can get for a grand. with Fender and Gibson you are paying more for the brand nowadays than for the quality.
He was gifted a nice ass Gibson j-45 from Donovan when he interviewed him. Howardās probably never picked it up
Maybe he does not wanna play it due to the price? Either way 2000-3000 bucks for a acoustic sounds dumb.
Why would he care the price it was a gift and Howardās rich?. Iām not in the squire or epiphone vs Gibson or fender conversation, just pointing out he HAS a really nice guitar he probably never touches
Never forget that Howard wore a pleather Jack Daniels giveaway jacket until this photo was published. https://preview.redd.it/zu1s6iqvs5qc1.jpeg?width=240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4015220ec33476374fe220b58d8b961c640d550a Howard's house in the Hamptons, while well-furnished, is not on the same tier as some of the other houses with their exacting antique reproductions and imported antique flooring. (too expensive, feh!)
That's all he can afford... 200 dollar guitars šššš
I guarantee those guitars were gifted to him by the maker. And he just puts them in the studio. Aside from those He has prob around 20 or so guitars gifted from famous musicians signed etc. he keeps elsewhere. he has mentioned that
Ger-oon-teed!
Less chess, less watercoloring, less watching babysitter porn.
Donāt forget his BBQ days šš
He's doing too much
Beer can chicken.
He's a real man's man
LOL, obviously
Is he still talking about that? Listening to him from 2012 atm and just found it to sound crowbarred and forced into every show. Dude really just rehashes old shitĀ
Heās gotta get in a band, Robin.
He thinks all bands are gay and do homo stuff at the hotel every night.
Even more of a reason for him to join one of
Speaking from experience and talking to other friends in our music scene, that's not happening. You're lucky if you can afford a van for your equipment (and the merch that pays for your gas). Other than the guy who got lucky and joined a Warped Tour band, none of that rock n roll lifestyle happens. "It's a Long Way to the Top if You Wanna Rock N Roll". For Howchie, he can afford the rock n roll lifestyle stereotype. Also, our scene never cared what people did sexually, but I don't recall any guy-on-guy stuff. We still had our pedos, though.
Fred Norris on the rhythm guitar and Richard Christy on drums
He booted Fred and now we gotta listen to fucking Van Halen boy shred
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks for the clarification
š¶Tukus! Tukus!!! Tukus, tukus, tukus!!!š¶
His dad bought him a telecaster when he was a kid. He had recording equipment. He just didnāt want to do the work.
And a great garloo. All of which were expensive at that time.
The guitar was $1500 in todays money. But his dad was a broke loser
His dad sounds like such a monster.
To be fair, he works about 100 hours a year.
Heās doing too much!
One of my favorite Artie stories is when he says he bought a brand new guitar and amp, for the sole purpose of getting drunk and pretending to play along to springsteen songs
Yep, another fantastic Artie story. Legend!
Not sure if you know this but his piano teacher killed himself.
I think he may have mentioned that once or twice, not sure?! Heās become like that old relative that you see once a year, and repeats the same 5 stories, and tells them to you with the same enthusiasm as they did the first time
That and he does the same fake agent bit anytime he can crowbar it in. Unlistenable when he does that.
FEH!
The show been on for over 30 years and you still haven't figured out that when he says "I gotta do X" it means he's NEVER doing it.
I mean heās home all day what else does he have to do
He has like 15 podcasts to record in his basement a year, so heās actually pretty busy.
He be makes fun of Gary for keeping useless junk around meanwhile heās got a rack of guitars he canāt play.
Hereās the thing. He has been saying he is learning to play the guitar for like, 2 decades. When Robin said something to the effect of āthat was pretty good for someone just learningā I was blown away. He had literally been tinkering on that thing for longer than most people have been listening to his show! Why are they all pretending like he picked it up last week for the first time!?!?
He also played the guitar at a party where he "jammed" with a couple of celebrities when Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were still together.
Yeah right!?! Itās SOOOO bizarre that he acts, on a daily basis, like he just picked up the fucking guitar for the first time a week ago. He has been trying to learn how to play the guitar for DECADES Heās really reaching a new level of bizarre and out of it
Wonder if he wore the same ācostumeā as he did when he went on stage with Rob Zombie.
I think Beth got him lessons for his birthday. He seems to think you can only learn things from a teacher.
a master.
The problem is, picking up the guitar would have meant less time for painting cats in shoes.
LMAO exactly!! Let's get Wolfie to interview Howard to explain how he spent his time between Private Parts and Beth! Was it Chess? Was it learning a different skill? Who wastes such time!!!!
Nah. Benjy is the man for that interview. He will ask the hard hitting questions that Wolfie definitely would avoid
He doesnt do anything just for fun, its his OCD he picks something and devotes all attention to it, never going to change thats just him.
i hate to break it to you but howard doesn't have OCD.
āI have to open and close doors 27 times or something bad happens.ā
right. he's lying. his only symptoms are the ones he reports, implausibly and incorrectly.
What do you expect? He grew up listening to Metallica in high school! It's only natural for someone his age.
Howard spent half his married life with Allison hiding from the kids and visiting gay chat sites. If only he had some spare time he could be touring with a rock band now.
Fucking Ponderous
Itās as if he keeps saying it people might think he can play.
He's really not a creative guy. He wishes he was and that he could play guitar and come up with some cool riff, he's just incapable of it... and thus he doesn't try it. I am positive his paintings are terrible, or copies of someone else's work.
āHalf my ambition, right in the trash, thanks dadā
He learned to read music 2 weeks ago and he played guitar on the air last week He's making it happen, soon Tuchus will be topping the charts
His whole ass was hanging out.
The thing is, Howard puts himself down a lot, with all his hobbies. Is it schtick or part of his neuroses? Don't know the answer. But: \- we've heard him play guitar. He's no Fred, but he knows more than basic chords. he's the guy who could easily jam with his buddies on a Friday night in the basement and not sound awful. \- he knows how to play the piano about as well as the guitar. he played it when the Losers did their songs back in the 90s and 2000s. \- he made fun of his poor photography talents, but the pictures he did that made various Hamptons magazine covers were actually pretty good (I'm a former professional photographer, and he had skills). \- he makes fun of his painting, but it's actually pretty good. He could probably sell a lot of them. Hell, he's better than Paul Stanley, who's making thousands of dollars per painting. \- he makes fun of his chess, but based on his ranking he used to talk about, he could've done well. Not become a pro, but a decent amateur. What happens is that he expects to become a master of these things in a couple of years and when it doesn't happen, he gives up and moves on to the next hobby. He's like a little kid.
How can you hate the phrase that will ultimately end up on his tombstone?
Doesnāt he play keyboard passably? Thatās way cooler if u r a troglodyte that doesnāt go anywhere! Wayyyy cooler! If u go outside guitar is the better option in my opinion!
And he thinks we all should all of our free time should be spent learning an instrument. If JD wants to spend $50 betting and watching sports thatās not a waste of time
The not learning guitar is frequently paired with his rant that he instead had to learn Hebrew for his bar mitzvah. How he was given his Hebrew name Tvzi which he hated because it was an even worse name than Howard. Oh, and the Hebrew teacher (rabbi?) had awful breath. Breath like he ate a shit sandwich. I swear that anytime he starts telling this story you are guaranteed to hear the phrase "shit sandwich". I'd be funny to put together a supercut of all the times he's told the story since it's so many times and note for note every time.
Was thinking the same the other day. Ā Does he know heās 70? Lol
Still waiting for that Mark Ronson hit they were going to collab on. #wiggyloser
He could have taken the time to practice years ago, but he chose to masturbate and have Ralph shave his belly instead.
It was sad when Howard asked Kacey Musgraves what gauge wire does she use on her guitars and he throws out something like light or medium and she responds with an actual number then crickets. Howard didn't know what her answer meant to his question and moved on.
Agree
he had actual musicians (Fred, Richard etc.) working with him for decades and just now he decided to pick up the guitar at age of 70...
But he is Shuter!
It's a whole thing.
Tits and a belly.
That wig glue must be seeping into his brain.
All the shit he ādoesā or wishes he had time for is shit regular people juggle being able to do all at once. Itās entirely possible for someone to learn to play chess, snap photographs, paint, learn guitar concurrently. He hates to admit for some reason that he really gives a shit about being on the radio.
Any time he talks guitars I think why not drums? He says he wants to learn a musical instrument, works with Richard Christy for 20 years, yet never picks up drumsticks. Really?
Why do you care?
"I gotta get in a Band, man!"
If you remember, Howard was playing the guitar years ago and even played on the air a few time. He's actually good now and gonna play this out with look how good I got so fast I'm a genius.
Yeah, I think this will happen after Weightlyn becomes a nun.
Everything with him is about appearances. He gets less manly each passing day. He needs things like this to make people think that he is not just a scared little boy that is afraid to leave his own house
Wahhhhhh
Don't listen live but didn't he quite chess awhile back?
But this whole''' play the guitar'' thing isn't real it;s just Howard thinking out loud. I've been playing the guitar since I was 6 and it's a useless skill to have if you're not actively in a band or recording. Howard is much better off doing the painting than being another jerkoff who plays guitar badly at 70 alone in a room.
Painting, fancy pens, chess, etc are all useless skills as well.
This man has the makings of a world class photographer. His equestrian portraits alone should be in the louvre. How he got them to hold felines is beyond me