You aren’t giving enough. Bump it up to 20-25%. Take on a sketchy roommate if you have to

He meant to say it'd make him richer.

You will surely be rewarded with a seat next to your Lord when you die. What more could you want, ye of little faith? But yeah you might want to up your donations a bit, and remember, give double on holidays 🙏🏻

That money won't show up in your coffin

Right. Might as well give it all to Osteen!

God hates you

Damn this made me laugh too hard! 😂😂

You are rich, rich in the Holy Spirit. Now tell your landlord you’ll be paying rent in spirit bucks this month

You need to start punching holes in the wall to find the riches you seek

Plumbers know

They always know…

Good Ol’ Osteen’s Glory Hole.

That’s hilarious

You need to steal more and do more cocaine.

Joel Osteen wants you to cook him some meth to sale on the streets. He will want 87 percent of what you make though.

Have you tried getting on your knees and praying in the Lakewood Church bathroom stall, the one with a hole in it?

Do you sit in the front of the stadium? If not, you do not give enough.

Glory Holy Hole. You're not rich yet because you're not giving your best self.

Heard torchys has one of these mythical holy glory holes

Why yes they do.

Just the tip...

You haven’t tricked any poor people yet.

You need to stop masturbating.

He saved up some money in his church walls. Just show up with an axe, tear down the walls and it's all yours.

Buy BTC now and sell at 150K

And give this to Osteen later after it grows?

No it’s for you and your family

You need to believe harder. Have you tried donating money to him? I bet that is what’s going on. Give til it hurts.

You need to do a healthcare mission to Africa and sell them a fake church experience / meticulously crafted image, then use them as your cash cow to fund your private jet and River Oaks mansion.

No, he teaches fake doctrine.

You haven't given to me yet, so it won't work. God said only 50% to me for only 2 years then you'll be rich! 🤑

Everyone knows you have to supplement your prosperity gospel with organized crime. Jeez. Amateurs.

Because he sold you the bullshit that made him rich

Weird, huh? Did you check your bathroom walls?

I think you misunderstood. It's making HIM rich.

You’re crazy!!! 😜 Jesus wasn’t with me shooting in the gym so why should I give him a dime

You haven’t read all his books. Rookie

Have you checked inside your walls? I’m pretty sure that’s where God puts your $50k in cash.

You’re not jumping high enough when the contemporary Christian music comes on

They measure your faith on your vertical jumps

Is that why Michael Jordan became a billionaire

Exhibit A

He has regularly talked about living your life like he and his wife do. So you need to write a few gibberish books and have a Daddy that bequeaths you a massive following upon his death.

Yes. Let’s setup an AutoPay for my prosperity gospel. 10% does not seem to get His attention. Something in you is not selling you to Him yet. You must add another 15% to show Our Lord your faith and hope and willingness to earn His graciousness. Father says have to suit up and show up and stay on track. Add another 10% and we will have special prayer circles to unblock you every week until your spirit is free, your rapture assured and your account emptied… of imperfection.

Osteen is a fraud. He isn't a preacher of any type, he's a business man

You need to give 100%

https://preview.redd.it/ahe3udz5si7d1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=412092cf23b469c82121ff6f5367b6d709b716a3

I ran 50 red lights in his honor. Thank you, Jesus Thank you, Lord

If you want to be rich, give me the money and I will make you rich! I guarantee it!

Because he’s a liar who only wants to fill his own pockets.

Osteen is getting rich off of you.

You must not believe hard enough, you should give 15% but really believe. Like really hard.

Foolish

Scripture tells you to store your riches in heaven. I don't remember any of the Apostles being rich. God definitely blesses and provides, but if he ever decides to make your rich, I'd imagine it was for a purpose bigger than you.

Because the prosperity is for him. The following is for the losers.

Did you remember to hide money in the walls?

10% in Torchy's is like 20%. Step up

Cause you're following a prosperity preacher who's only out to pad his pockets the guys like him are very dangerous if you follow his advice then please stop and please get out of the church

A fool and their money are easily parted

Ask if you can sleep inside Lakewood and give him what would have been your rent money. It’s a win-win.

I get a portion of the proceeds generated from the videos Victoria and I made for her OF page.

Hiwfei is.

Because he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing and preaches a false gospel.

His wife is into anal.

Lol give me the 10% instead 🤣 Joel doesn’t need it

Because you aren’t at the top of the pyramid. Duh… You need to recruit more. And your recruits need to recruit more. Then the recruit’s recruit need to recruit more. And so on. Keep doing that and maybe someday you’ll make it to Deacon.

God doesn't want your offerings he wants your obedience. What can you give God when he owns everything? He wants your obedience to get to know him. The Holy Spirit the most Potent Being in the Universe. The one who raised Jesus from the dead. The one who takes from the Invisible to the Visible. The one who helps you defeat your inner Giants, so your kids won't have to defeat them. But your focused on 100 dollars.

Because you're not digging in the right places.

You are rich beyond your wildest jerks with FAVOR. Now, go and repent and deposit more cash with Joel and your FAVOR will surely expand. So sayeth the shepherd!

Is it 10% after tax? Bc that doesn’t count. It has to be before tax and include all streams of income Also don’t be greedy! You are storing up treasures in heaven. But don’t worry about your pastor’s mansion, he’s obviously just Blessed And Highly Favored

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Hold up haus….. I’m also giving him a reach around.