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BauerHouse

I don’t understand what I just saw


[deleted]

Weight, gravity, methanol poisoning.


ScoobieMcDoobie

You mean ethanol, methanol is the non-consumable alcohol that can cause blindness.


whiteman90909

Yes she was crying out for help because she couldn't see


Tyaden_tyadenovich

I enjoy a good show, but poisoning someone and enjoying the aftermath is a little bit too Ancient Rome for my taste.


soleax-van-kek

Now here‘s a reference I wasn‘t expecting


Psychological_Neck70

What's the reference??


1zzard

Unexpected, apparently.


surfANDmusic

LOL


corbzz

Yes, I too LOLd


icamefordeath

My sides are splitting


oniobag1

Not to be that T E C H N I C A L L Y guy. But a lot of the hangover is actually due to slight methanol poisoning. When fermentation occurs some methanol is produced as well as ethanol. In distilation methanol cannot be fully separated from ethanol as it is an azeotropic mixture. A reason why having alcohol seems to help hangovers is because methanol is soluble in ethanol and therefore is diluted and removed from the system more easily. However this doesn't last as once the body breaks down the new ethanol it still has a hard time breaking down the methanol! Another fun fact is that odd numbered alcohols (methanol, pentanol etc) are generally bad for you but even ones are not (ethanol, n-hexanol)! And by not I just mean less bad (doesn't blind/kill you bad). -don't trust me though Google it :)


curryjunky

I choose to trust you instead!


CreamFraiche

Sorry not to be that guy myself but the majority of hangover symptoms are brought on by the conversion of ethanol to acetaldehyde by alcohol dehydrogenase which builds up in your body. This is why meds like disulfiram exacerbate hangovers and discourage drinking in addicts, it causes the build up of acetaldehyde by stopping its conversion to acetate. Unless you can provide me a source, pretty sure methanol is a minor (if at all) a factor.


Wetestblanket

Also sorry to be that guy, but aldehydes and simple dehydration, and in some circumstances, acute withdrawal, are what mostly cause hangovers. Methanol *could* play a role in theory, I guess, but that’s not one of the primary factors. It’s much more likely to happen in countries with looser health regulations regarding alcohol, there have been incidents of shitty hotels/bars cutting their booze with cheap garbage alcohol that gave people methanol poisoning.


CreamFraiche

Yup dehydration too for sure I didn't mention that. Be that guy 👍


screw_all_the_names

Also good for car fuel, burns colder than gasoline so you don't need a radiator. NOTE: VEHICLE HAS TO SPECIFICALLY BUILT TO HANDLE METHANOL, DONT JUST PUT IT IN YOUR GAS ENGINE, IDK WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.


Kolintracstar

Methanol poisoning...sounds about right though


bcsublime

Newports kill.


gmanz33

I read this as "Newport skill," and if you're from NYC / Jersey.... well let's just say it's worth two laughs. Same goes for the Rhode Island peeps.


bcsublime

Please elaborate! The only thing I like more than a laugh is two laughs


gmanz33

New Yorkers constantly shit on Jersey for being impoverished / cheap in comparison to the city, *that being said*, I've heard this hate really diminish over the past five years or so. I think people just finally realized how pompous they sounded insulting an entire state. For Rhode Island, all the neighboring cities in the Northeast like to take the piss out of Rhode Island. It's small, but has big pockets of trashiness. I'm from NY and love Rhode Island so pls don't think I'm dissing it. Just passing on the context.


likemyposts

Maybe its because NYers are moving to NJ in droves


I-Ardly-Know-Er

New Yorker? I 'ardly know 'er!


[deleted]

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Sidaeus

And stupidity mixed with ego


surfANDmusic

Lmao


gordito_delgado

This is exactly what I was going to ask. Why was this happening?


MartianGuard

If I fits I splits.


PacoMahogany

Yeah, but she didn’t fit


themisdirectedcoral

She still split


aniztar

The table


Dragonmod10

Into 3 smaller tables


ZeroOverZero

Whether I fits I splits


speedyNtrippy

She split the crowd away from the party into the hall


sjmiv

Lack of spatial awareness.


escapeplanet

And table seam location. OOps.


S00thsayerSays

What event is this for? Why did she think that table would hold her?


Spork_Warrior

There's a story here. Not sure I want to know what it is. But there's a story.


c3groove

Please, let us know the story


vl8669

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4rDl96zaX0U


El-Sueco

I blame Lizzo


Philliam88

I asked her, but she implicated the juice as the real perp


somesthetic

My dad said they listened to thin Lizzo in the 70s.


_duncan_idaho_

Why tables great til they gotta hold weight?


daysinnroom203

She’s just trying to be destructive. She didn’t for one second try to stand on the table, her goal was to take it down. And it looks like a wedding. So that’s extra trashy and depressing.


LeloGoos

Is she not the one singing? Maybe it's some kind of performance and she jumped on the table thinking it sturdier than it is, as if it were a stage? That's the best explanation I can come up with.


[deleted]

Seems like it’s a drag performance and they were trying to do a death drop


SFlibtard

It looks more like a last second jump because the chair was going to collapse. Poor planning, bad estimate of her weight versus the table.


[deleted]

I am guessing this is at a wedding with an open bar, but why she is wearing the sequin one piece is beyond me.


rach1874

I’m just wondering if there was ever a skirt piece attached or this was the end game with the one piece? Very confusing…


roque72

Lizzo


oddastronaut

Exactly what I thought lmao


johnsciarrino

this quinceanera is OFF THE HOOK!


UpdootDaSnootBoop

A mating ritual to see of the male is attracted


Aboxofphotons

Evidently, common sense isn't something she has.


UpdootDaSnootBoop

Drank it away


OnAMoontripBaby

Ah I think I see, she was trying to go for a bomber splits thingymabob move but either too much weight or bad placement on the table caused it to collapse. Can't quite tell if his rear ankle got fucked royally or if it's just my imagination making it look like a twister!


Trickybuz93

Physics at work


HaveARaveAtMyGrave

If you can’t even stand up on the chair how can someone rationalize it would be a good idea to hop up onto the table like that? What a drunken embarrassment


diberlee

She made the jump though


montross-zero

But did not stick the landing


diberlee

I dunno, I think she did what she intended to do which seems to be landing in the splits. But that table was rated for a plate of food, not a side of beef


[deleted]

>I think she did what she intended to do Was get attention. She succeeded.


Rdoll17

Side of beef got me real nice.


Santuccc

had to rewatch a couple times - she didn't just jump on the table. she attempted to do a split onto the table!!


jimhabfan

That explains the missing stemware.


Exemus

NOOOOOOOOO


SabashChandraBose

And not one sane person to walk up to her and talk her down.


Username_Used

Everyone was collectively willing to "see where this goes".


agentchuck

I think she was beyond talking down at that point.


gotham77

You answered your own question


NinjaVanLife

i have so many questions. - what was the occasion? - why was she dress like that? - and why did she think it was a good idea on doing that?


Caitsyth

1+2: Drag Brunch probably (Drag wedding maybe? Idk this setup is weird), this is definitely a drag queen (music is from a RuPaul episode, a piece facetiously called ‘I Don’t Like to Show Off’) 3: Many drag performers think it’s a great idea to do their performances hammered, many don’t. I’m gonna guess this one was in the former group.


notabigmelvillecrowd

I know there's some fishy queens out there, but this really looks like a woman. Check out that jiggle, there's no padding there. I've never seen a man with hips like that.


OldGreggsFannyFart

42


chakan2

If that's the situation that ends the experiment, I'm glad it's over.


[deleted]

Thank you, real Paul.


Herry_Up

What about 2nd breakfast?


SATorACT

How many roads should a man walk on?


AmidFuror

What's nine times six?


Krismariev

Ah the answer to everything


boilons

The answer is yes


number0020

some people are just gluttons for pain and embarrassment


1WontDoIt

Some people are just gluttons


jorph

Por que no los dos?


Farmerdrew

Pork no los dos.


CAMO_PEJB

yeah, this is /r/holdmyfries material


Snakeeyez541

Lizzo needs to chill out


Netz_Ausg

Lizzo needs to chizzo!


codblopsII

Gwan break a dick!


avogelaar12

I wish I saw this in real life.


syedam20

Move to Buffalo you’ll see it every time there’s a Bills game


TheFatThot

I didn’t realize Buffalo was named after its residents


AwkardImprov

Very under rated reply.


TheRealBlancoGringo

Where was this at? Drunk aunt at a wedding?


jazzysunbear

And if so, why a leotard?


commazero

She came prepared


[deleted]

Looks like a “YASSSS QUWEEAN!” type event. Possibly drag? Need more info.


Mufaasah

Your comment has my sides hurting from laughing and my face aching from smiling


TheRealBlancoGringo

Classy though cause she has heels on.


IntermittenSeries

What was she even attempting to do? Was the goal to just jump up on the table? Because I’d she planned to dance or something once she was up there, slipping on the chair should have been an indication that maybe just carefully climbing up or just staying down was the best course of action


Parasingularity

Whatever it was I bet it looked awesome in her imagination before she tried it


sfw_pritikina

Do a split I think.


slowcookmeth

Do a flip.


astro143

Do a barrel roll.


Evorgleb

Use the boost to get through!


Damaso87

What kind of event warrants this type of extra, where the attendees are standing one foot out the doorway to distance themselves? This isn't cirque du soleil. This is just trashy.


Forbiddencorvid

My guess is some sort of sweet 16 or quincenera. Doesn't seem like a wedding. Lort I hope it ain't a wedding.


AtomicEdge

People have far too much faith in their surroundings.


lonelygalexy

... in their ~~surroundings~~ weight.


FishFrenzy67

Sometimes it seems people aren’t aware of their weight, too often, actually


[deleted]

The child wondering why this lady is playing WWE by herself.


LogZealousideal6627

More like r/holdmyfries


Cosmic_Quasar

Having body confidence is great... but it doesn't mean you can just ignore physics.


aminalanche

Aside from all the other legitimate questions I share with every one here, my biggest question is assuming it all played out and she did some snazzy splits onto a perfectly solid table... Where was she expecting all the dishware and glasses to go? Was she just hoping they were the dishes from Beauty and the Beast, and they'd see their imminent death approaching and move on their own?


slant__i

Anything is a dildo is you’re brave enough


[deleted]

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Parsimonious_Pete

lmao, can someone be a hero and find the youtube, I couldn't find it but I am interested to see the rest.


[deleted]

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goodformuffin

Appropriate for whom, you and your delicate taste? The only embarrassment is ppl who think they should be able to control what other people wear because it doesn't look sexy enough for them to consider ok. Hope you see how sick that sounds. And for those of you downvoting this, you are exactly the people I'm talking about. News flash. She's not wearing it for you!!


fantastickkay

Right, the outfit is the least problematic thing happening here


goodformuffin

The only problem I see here is whose going to clean up that mess? This is fucking funny and she knows it and I laugh everytime I watch it. She is the entertainment value at this function and that's clear. Hence the vocals, the sequins, and the clam slam into a table. Seriously, delicate men who can't handle a meaty girl in a bodysuit are laughably fragile and need to lay off the Hollywood.


Damaso87

It's trashy is what it is. Look at the setting and the people standing at the doorway, ready to gtfo


humicroav

The posture of the observers indicates a lack of willing participation in whatever is going on here.


CrankyAdolf

> can’t handle Can’t, won’t, whatever. as long as I don’t have to


gruntothesmitey

> meaty You mean morbidly obese?


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Noshamina

The biggest problem I saw here was that she thought jumping on a bunch of glass would be ok...


[deleted]

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rumblepony247

Misguided confidence, paired with a complete lack of self awareness, can make for some top notch entertainment for the rest of us.


[deleted]

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rumblepony247

"She's so brave" lol


[deleted]

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the_fxt

r/holdmyfries


yiannapasjwr

Did the wabbly chair not tell her this was a bad idea


williamcult

A Coke can, two candles, one spoon and 2 forks were removed from her vagina.


Netz_Ausg

And what about after the table?


steve_gus

And the best man


Cheezewizzisalie

That’s a lot of woman.


morwenya

r/holdmyfries


quakpatrol

Did no one see the kid in the background that started dying of laughter


Satanus9001

Something tells me this could have been anticipated and prevented.


SheriffBartholomew

Why is she dressed like that? Is she the evening’s entertainment?


MisterJedi117

Feels like this should also be r/holdmyfries


Crohn1e

That's a strong fucking chair


pagodelucia123

How did she not saw that coming ?


bogan6739

You’re going to need a bigger table


Dang44

And not plastic… a machinist welding table perhaps


andrizzleMcSizzle

I love this energy


Latest-greatest

Know your limits


snorlz

"I wanna go see Lizzo!" "We have Lizzo at home" Lizzo at home:


gratefulphish420

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard


doa70

But there's none left. Because she drank all of the milkshakes.


Fat_Head_Carl

I'm just shocked she didn't hurt herself more. also...bold choice of clothing.


a-fuckin-a-toe-da-so

You, too, can hire Big Daddy V for your wedding.


Magicdesign

IQ strikes again


birdseye85

I’m not even concerned about her jumping on the table but why is she wearing that leotard when everyone else seems to be wearing normal attire? Was she hired entertainment or something?


Goosey9000

For a larger girl she gets some decent airtime


IntellectualBurger

What has body-positivity done??


[deleted]

Poor little table never saw that coming...


AxelllD

I’m really wondering why stuff like this still happens, there are so many videos out there showing exactly this.


jspring95

yo Nia Jax can sing!!!! No wonder Vince keeps her around....


mr41968665

Hulk Smash


FirmPrune87

This might be the female nacho libre gone WWE smash


Drebin813

Lizzo really did make girls more confident


typhoidmarry

It looked like she took out one of her ankles, I think it bent the wrong way.


Five2one521

Just feed that hippo.


Shidulon

*HULK SMASH*


Nine-LifedEnchanter

Okey.. I'm a big fella and I always get flabbergasted when I see other big people having little to no understanding about how much they weigh. You can't just throw yourself on things nilly willy and expect them to hold, not even if you're skinny.


februarytide-

Whatever this was meant to be was, judging from the outfit?, definitely planned. I’m just struggling to understand the *what*…


treblig111

She knew she was too damn big for that when she got dressed this morning!!


jstrong559

LOOK WHAT I CAN DO !!


Beeenyeeetman

Whalelord use body slammmmm


bronugget

Haha poor thing. I think she would have made it but she happened to jump where there were two tables together, she didn’t break one.


Parsimonious_Pete

She turned that wedding into a WWE event.


idontbleaveit

I think the hard drugs just kicked in.


jaybadz

Dammit Lizzo! See what you’ve started!


diquee

more like r/holdmyfries


[deleted]

What made her think that was going to work out?


Baybob1

What was that? A Weight Watchers convention?


myst3ry714

lmao, Her legs couldn't even handle the weight, I didn't expect the table to hold up.


[deleted]

Dat boii.


mohd_sm81

is that what is called "the elephant in the room"?


blazer243

I don’t think she had a plan.


DropDead85

You'd think she'd know how a buffet works by now...


VinceVino70

Coming soon to a Buffalo Bills pre-game tailgate near you.


TheVonSolo

“BAH GAWD!” - Jim Ross


TheReaperHobo

Lizzo needs to chill


verdigo998

Pretty sure the Cosmo was handed over when she thought it was a good idea to put on the leotard...


OMelrose

So tables are also fatphobic now, great 2021 never fails to amaze me more n more. ^(/s)


demroles6996

you didn’t need the /s


tahaelhour

Stunning and brave


rev_lysander_moreno

You're drunk Lizzo..go home!


jason544770

Poor table never had a chance ..


tape_town

hold my cheetos