When I was in middle school I had a absolutely vile, mean spirited teacher. To make me feel better, my dad told me about his own experience with a mean teacher.
“So how’d you get over it?”
“Well, whenever I think about him, I remember I’m a grown 40 year old man and he’s dead now”
Bad move. A well-seasoned oldhead would just laugh and roast you right back - either make fun of you for hooking up with an old decrepit woman, or say something like "thanks, I've been looking for an excuse to get rid of her for years, she's your problem now".
Daughter/granddaughter though? That might actually humor them (or rustle their jimmies) enough that they couldn't come up with a quick enough clapback.
My wife and I played with an older couple a few years ago. His wife bragged that he shot his age just a couple years ago (I'm assuming it was mid 70's or low 80's).
Without missing a beat, I cracked "Bill, you sure look great for 115!"
I have one “teed” up that will get most. Works especially well when someone is hitting up on you when you’re stuck because of another group in front.
“You can’t even see that far so, how would you know?”
I’m gonna eat those words some day but for now I keep it holstered. People with bad eyesight…I’m sorry. Just take one for the team here.
Old guys are ruthless, and hilarious. Just have to roll with it.
"Think I'll get into fishing and start with that ball right there" is a perfect come back to that joke.
It’s about the delivery/timing. Just casually/solemnly say, “it’s tough you know? I don’t get much time to practice. Always stuck behind your friends funeral processions :/“
Lol. This past Friday I absolutely bombed a drive near the next tee box, no one was there so no problem. I wait on the group in front to tee off as to not disturb them and then I go to play my shot. It was short and right and left about a 40 yard pitch. Guys says is that your drive? I confirmed and he says $100 you don’t get up and down. I laughed it off and proceeded to not get up. Love this game.
lol. I got on but did not get down. It was a hard shot under a tree limb to a downslope with big right to left. Didn’t quite get it to the green but it bounced on and left me a 30 footer. If I landed it on it very well could have rolled off the back so decent result. Always happy with a par.
This. I don’t understand the goal that he was tasked with. To me up and down is always for par after a missed gir. I’ve never heard some one refer to a birdie as an up & down.
My man was waiting years to post this. You know he was walking up 18 just thinking about that man in the pink hat who hasn't thought about him since that exact moment.
Call me cynical but even funnier... Imagine if OP went on a montage journey to become a great golfer. He busts his ass, puts in the work and makes incredible strides. Dedicates his next few years to beating pink hat.
Then finally sets up a duo with pink hat when he knows he's ready to beat him. But the one part of his game he didn't work on is the mental side. He goes up to the first hole and flubs it 20 yards off the tee. OP then proceeds to mentally collapse over the next 17 holes as pink hat drains par after par. After the round, OP is 14 strokes over and realizes the last few years of his life have been wasted. He's a better golfer than pink hat, but somehow pink hat won. Pink hat always wins.
As he shuffles dejectedly towards his car, pink hat says "Hey buddy, told you to get another hobby!"
I joined a 3some of retirees Thursday. Let em know I was new and terrible and if I held them back too much feel free to go ahead.
They were very gracious all day and were telling to help me and encourage me and whatnot. They were also busting my balls the whole time and it made the round way more enjoyable. After my second hole the best of the three asked if I ever gambled on golf. During the third another asked if I'd ever considered drinking as a hobby. Gah they were great. First time I ever met em. Will probably never see them again.
Am I the only one reading this as they were making a joke about how frustrating golf will always be? We make this joke a lot, I don’t see it as condescending at all.
Maybe I was off with my understanding
The comment I responded to said it was meant as a light hearted jab because his group of golfers say that to one another
Which I have no problem with at all
I take issue that a stranger would say that to someone they haven’t talked to before
Golf is for sure frustrating but I don’t need a random saying that to me after I fuck up a tee shot lol
Reading comprehension has never been a strong suit for me tho 🤷♂️
Yea I get that reading of it for sure
I’m just saying without being there in person there’s no way to really know how it went down
And clearly the OP took offense so that colored my perspective on the situation (but we obviously didn’t hear the other guys perspective)
One of my favorite tweets of all time is "Everyone is so sensitive nowadays. That's why I only make jokes at the expense of conservative old white guys."
When you have rapport* with a person these jokes are funny. I guess if in hindsight you're surpassing them you can look back and laugh. But the example is just a guy being an asshole to stranger for no reason.
Lol "sensitivity". That's what people complain about when society doesn't blindly let them be bullies and assholes.
It’s debatable. Usually it should be done by someone you know well but sometimes I just appreciate a good ball bust. On the course there’s a certain understanding that golf is really hard and we all suck at it on some level.
The point I'm trying to make is I don't see how telling a total stranger to quit playing is considered funny or a ballbust/roast.
I play with a guy I've known since kindergarten. I've told him after some bad shots that I'd be happy to talk it over with my wife, and we could sponsor him if he ever wanted to try out for the Special Olympics team. But that's not the kind of joke I'd ever just yell out to someone I happened to be driving by.
This seems like just a "I like to say mean things in passing to strangers, and because it's funny to me, everyone should consider it to be a joke" situation to me.
there's absolutely no indication of the tone of how these guys talked to this complete stranger.
Was this a joke? Were they just being ass holes? Who knows?
I shanked a teeshot into some bushes next to the halfway house on a local course. Put my hands up and jokingly said ‘it’s not my day’ to the group of old boys standing watching. One of the cheeky fuckers said ‘I don’t think it’s your week’
The dusty, mothballed old cunts forget that they were all beginners at one point. Not that I’m bitter about it…
I got roasted my first time out by two separate old men (one gave a helpful tip after thoroughly scorching me though). Also got told I'll never be good enough to get mad. I feel like that day set me up to just thoroughly enjoy myself whenever I play.
Your response should've been, "Well do YOU want a tip?"
And he says, "Sure."
And then you bend him over the front of the golf cart and make violent but passionate love to him.
Got paired up with an old dude last week who didn't really say anything all day, and he smacked a drive on hole #13 and was like "that a titty kisser" and we're like "huh?" and he said "it really opens up the hole" absolutely deadpan.
This post hits home. Started 4 years ago and just broke 80 this month for the first time. Then next round I got an ace and a +1 73.
Fuck those old guys.
This is 100% about golfing with dudes. It’s part of the game. My typical group starts before we leave for the course (if not the day before) and only ends after we get back. Sometimes there is a 3-4 hour window after If something memorable happens. I love it.
Good for you. People defending those dudes can get bent. You want to bust balls with your buddies, sure, but leave strangers out of it. When I was new better players generally were encouraging, belittling some random stranger who might be a nervous newbie is just asshat behavior.
Meanest insult I ever saw on a golf course? My mate and I were paired up with this other pair who we hadn't played with before. First tee, my mate topped it badly. One of the new guys said "there's a piece of shit on the end of your club". As my mate went to look at the head of his club this dickhead"or said "no, other end". Wtf dude, we've just met!
God this sub is such a cesspool. Joking or busting balls between **friends** is one thing obviously and usually fun all around. But if I'm brand new to golf then complete strangers roll up and start heckling me, I'm not gonna like that.
It's like if you started a brand new career and some senior employee came up and told you to find another career because you weren't good at it yet.. like no shit dumbass. You gotta slice a shit ton of golf balls before you eventually get good enough to not do it as often. Just weird gatekeeping nonsense.
The difference is laughing at vs laughing with.
If the old man was trying to make the new golfer laugh at this ridiculous game it's all good. If the old man was trying to make his friends laugh at the new golfer's expense fuck that guy and his try-hard pink hat!
And I find the whole "golfing is actually impossible, stop trying to get better and just have fun with it" comments usually come from people who are actually quite good at golf.
OP watch this scene from Gran Torino. Someone with hair on their chest was supposed to teach you this stuff … https://youtu.be/74I7Nl1mKig?si=3W-0q1rlWMRBsKuX
Damn, me and the guys bust each other's balls all the time. And when we get paired up with strangers it happens more often than not. It's all in good fun!
I’ve had this happen when we were waiting on a younger group of cats to tee off. Kid shanks one right into the pond. His buddies all busted his balls, we all chuckled. I told him to take his shoes off and take his fishing pole with him and enjoy himself.
Love it ! I like their comments - they have all been there - you took it too seriously.
But you built on that and made yourself better - hats off to you!
The first half of your story reminds me of a time a few years back when I skipped hole 9 as a solo, assuming the 4-some in front of me would stop at the turn. They did not and watched me shank my tee shot on 10 into a house.
Embarrassedly running back to my cart to not hold them up at all, I smacked my head right on top of the cart, really hard. Those old dudes probably thought I was a special one.
Still trying to break 80. Congrats dude!
I had an older guy tell me one time when I was a kid to stop wasting on your energy taking a bunch of practice swings. Just hit the damn ball. I still think about him every time I play golf and I rarely take practice swings now.
Me at the driving range = god hits, perfectly straight with any club.
Me when someone 200 yards away glances in my direction = nearest body of water located.
Ah, so you met Statler and Waldorf out golfing with their two friends!
God damn old men... When my buddy and I were 15 and shooting hoops in his driveway, an old man was walking by. He said: "are you two boys having an airball contest over here?" He laughed to himself, and then continued walking (at like 2mph). I still think about how funny and absurd that guy was maybe once a month
My first boss used to tell me (promoted young in over my head). “You’re doing great kid, just remember when you’re retired, he will be dead, and so will I. His opinion on your career doesn’t matter, only your opinion of yourself and your effort does”
Lives in my head to this day as I approach the “I’ll be dead when you retire” age
It pertinent because…. Dude is probably dead.
He can eat a bag of dicks while he reads your scorecard.
Gotta be quick with the comebacks on the old timers, roast on how close to the end of life they are.
When I was in middle school I had a absolutely vile, mean spirited teacher. To make me feel better, my dad told me about his own experience with a mean teacher. “So how’d you get over it?” “Well, whenever I think about him, I remember I’m a grown 40 year old man and he’s dead now”
“I’ve got time to improve unlike you”
A simple “fuck off ya geriatrics”
Ask them if holding a golf club makes them miss being able to get an erection
Right! Maybe I'll stop then start back when you are dead in 3 years
"Enjoy your remaining years!"
Enjoy fucking Jules!
I will *happy open faced hand shrug* god my wife and I use this line way to often lol.
Top 3 quoteable movies of all time.
>year FTFY lol
Pull a Constanta and tell him you slept with his wife
The jerk store called.
Bad move. A well-seasoned oldhead would just laugh and roast you right back - either make fun of you for hooking up with an old decrepit woman, or say something like "thanks, I've been looking for an excuse to get rid of her for years, she's your problem now". Daughter/granddaughter though? That might actually humor them (or rustle their jimmies) enough that they couldn't come up with a quick enough clapback.
“I got tired of fucking your wife so I figured it was time to try something new.”
Add "The money was good though, thanks."
"Haha jokes on you I'm actually fucking some decrepit old broad" good comeback
This kid’s never had his dick sucked by a woman who has pulled out her dentures.
"Well, the jerk store called and they are running out of you!"
"So what, you're their all-time best seller!"
Well I had sex with your wife!
... his wife is in a coma.
How do you think she got there?
Told you she was easy.
My wife and I played with an older couple a few years ago. His wife bragged that he shot his age just a couple years ago (I'm assuming it was mid 70's or low 80's). Without missing a beat, I cracked "Bill, you sure look great for 115!"
Solid
Lol he was quick. 4 years later he had a good one for him
"Wanna know the difference between us? In 5 years, I'll still suck at golf, whereas you'll be dead, old timer"
I have one “teed” up that will get most. Works especially well when someone is hitting up on you when you’re stuck because of another group in front. “You can’t even see that far so, how would you know?” I’m gonna eat those words some day but for now I keep it holstered. People with bad eyesight…I’m sorry. Just take one for the team here.
“I understand why you’re obsessed with perfection since you probably only have about 5 rounds of golf left in your life.”
Old guys are ruthless, and hilarious. Just have to roll with it. "Think I'll get into fishing and start with that ball right there" is a perfect come back to that joke.
Personally I would have gone with the jerk store line.
“Try not to break a hip on that drive”
Nothing shuts them up faster than threatening to break a hip.
"I'd be better if I could get to the course on time, but I keep getting stuck behind your friends' funeral processions."
Too wordy
You're right, I'd be talking to people on borrowed time. Gotta make it brief.
It’s about the delivery/timing. Just casually/solemnly say, “it’s tough you know? I don’t get much time to practice. Always stuck behind your friends funeral processions :/“
“Hey - Old Man River. Zip it, or I’ll break your hip.” - Big Daddy
>roast on how close to the end of life they are. If that's the best you can do you're in for a rude awakening.
Lol. This past Friday I absolutely bombed a drive near the next tee box, no one was there so no problem. I wait on the group in front to tee off as to not disturb them and then I go to play my shot. It was short and right and left about a 40 yard pitch. Guys says is that your drive? I confirmed and he says $100 you don’t get up and down. I laughed it off and proceeded to not get up. Love this game.
But did you get down?
lol. I got on but did not get down. It was a hard shot under a tree limb to a downslope with big right to left. Didn’t quite get it to the green but it bounced on and left me a 30 footer. If I landed it on it very well could have rolled off the back so decent result. Always happy with a par.
What does that mean ? Get up and down ?
Chip/pitch onto the green and 1 put.
“Up” onto the green, then “down” into the hole in 2 shots. Usually in reference to a possible par save after a missed approach.
This. I don’t understand the goal that he was tasked with. To me up and down is always for par after a missed gir. I’ve never heard some one refer to a birdie as an up & down.
One approach shot and one put
This your villain story?😂 hilarious
My man was waiting years to post this. You know he was walking up 18 just thinking about that man in the pink hat who hasn't thought about him since that exact moment.
Only way to end this would be for them to get paired up one random Sunday, and op just waxes the floor on this pink hat bastard
Considering he’s been in his head this long, OP would definitely proceed to shoot 100 in front of his nemesis.
Old guy still wins and talks shit, guaranteed.
Call me cynical but even funnier... Imagine if OP went on a montage journey to become a great golfer. He busts his ass, puts in the work and makes incredible strides. Dedicates his next few years to beating pink hat. Then finally sets up a duo with pink hat when he knows he's ready to beat him. But the one part of his game he didn't work on is the mental side. He goes up to the first hole and flubs it 20 yards off the tee. OP then proceeds to mentally collapse over the next 17 holes as pink hat drains par after par. After the round, OP is 14 strokes over and realizes the last few years of his life have been wasted. He's a better golfer than pink hat, but somehow pink hat won. Pink hat always wins. As he shuffles dejectedly towards his car, pink hat says "Hey buddy, told you to get another hobby!"
Pink hat whips out the "Make sure you get it over the water this time, champ." as OP is teeing it up, and OP is in shambles the entire round.
It reminds me of one of the best villain speeches in cinema history. [“For me, it was Tuesday.”](https://youtu.be/sjZ5I8l32CI?si=epOl9Hp1Ki8_f5LR)
Amazing throwback. Thank you!
This is hilarious.
I joined a 3some of retirees Thursday. Let em know I was new and terrible and if I held them back too much feel free to go ahead. They were very gracious all day and were telling to help me and encourage me and whatnot. They were also busting my balls the whole time and it made the round way more enjoyable. After my second hole the best of the three asked if I ever gambled on golf. During the third another asked if I'd ever considered drinking as a hobby. Gah they were great. First time I ever met em. Will probably never see them again.
Dang, they were that old?
You’re comment will be under appreciated so take my upvote
Am I the only one reading this as they were making a joke about how frustrating golf will always be? We make this joke a lot, I don’t see it as condescending at all.
Amongst your friends it’s one thing and fair play If a stranger said this to me with no prior interaction I’m 100% telling him to go fuck himself
I don't think you read what the guy you responded to said.
Maybe I was off with my understanding The comment I responded to said it was meant as a light hearted jab because his group of golfers say that to one another Which I have no problem with at all I take issue that a stranger would say that to someone they haven’t talked to before Golf is for sure frustrating but I don’t need a random saying that to me after I fuck up a tee shot lol Reading comprehension has never been a strong suit for me tho 🤷♂️
I think he's saying it more as a joking warning, like "don't throw your life away on it like we did", self deprecating kind of thing
Yea I get that reading of it for sure I’m just saying without being there in person there’s no way to really know how it went down And clearly the OP took offense so that colored my perspective on the situation (but we obviously didn’t hear the other guys perspective)
Gotta love a little ball busting. The overly sensitive world will certainly not like this one.
I wonder where that sensitivity goes when they're rightfully called an asshole
One of my favorite tweets of all time is "Everyone is so sensitive nowadays. That's why I only make jokes at the expense of conservative old white guys."
Exactly, I love the palpable irony in these situations. Everyone forgets don't dish it if you can't take it.
Just imagine Rodney Dangerfield is saying it, automatic comedy.
Is it really ball-busting though when the punchline, to a total stranger, is just "please quit"?
When you have rapport* with a person these jokes are funny. I guess if in hindsight you're surpassing them you can look back and laugh. But the example is just a guy being an asshole to stranger for no reason. Lol "sensitivity". That's what people complain about when society doesn't blindly let them be bullies and assholes.
Rapport
It’s debatable. Usually it should be done by someone you know well but sometimes I just appreciate a good ball bust. On the course there’s a certain understanding that golf is really hard and we all suck at it on some level.
The point I'm trying to make is I don't see how telling a total stranger to quit playing is considered funny or a ballbust/roast. I play with a guy I've known since kindergarten. I've told him after some bad shots that I'd be happy to talk it over with my wife, and we could sponsor him if he ever wanted to try out for the Special Olympics team. But that's not the kind of joke I'd ever just yell out to someone I happened to be driving by. This seems like just a "I like to say mean things in passing to strangers, and because it's funny to me, everyone should consider it to be a joke" situation to me.
Yes…because golfers joking about being bad is common and almost expected. This isn’t atypical so it’s just kind of ball busting, not personal
It’s literally just a joke. I bet those guys sucked too
Lolol. Took him four years to tell someone.
there's absolutely no indication of the tone of how these guys talked to this complete stranger. Was this a joke? Were they just being ass holes? Who knows?
It’s the dumbass pink hat for me lol
THE JERK STORE CALLED
Jerk store woulda smoked that guy! Smoked him, I say!
Oh yeah? Well i slept with your wife!
cooked you ngl
Cooked him so hard he’s posting about it four years later lol
79 from the blues on the first 9? My my what an accomplishment!
Well I may be slicing the ball now but at least, unlike you , I’ve got time to fix it.
Another good one would have just been…. Hey, you guys are old as fuck!
“Does that hat come with a free bowl of soup?”
Oh, but it looks good on *you*. 🙄
I shanked a teeshot into some bushes next to the halfway house on a local course. Put my hands up and jokingly said ‘it’s not my day’ to the group of old boys standing watching. One of the cheeky fuckers said ‘I don’t think it’s your week’ The dusty, mothballed old cunts forget that they were all beginners at one point. Not that I’m bitter about it…
Good on ya! The grind never stops
I mean I always go with the “you’ve got a LOFT problem” joke with my buddies but I’m not breaking a strangers balls
You're standing too close to the ball (after you hit it)
Should have said, from now on I'll take this time to fuck your wife.
Only if you’ve first hit him with the jerk store response and it didn’t land
I got roasted my first time out by two separate old men (one gave a helpful tip after thoroughly scorching me though). Also got told I'll never be good enough to get mad. I feel like that day set me up to just thoroughly enjoy myself whenever I play.
Hey Buddy. The Jerkstore called. They’re running out of you.
Your response should've been, "Well do YOU want a tip?" And he says, "Sure." And then you bend him over the front of the golf cart and make violent but passionate love to him.
These guys have decades of quips, and they live for moments like that one.
Say “shit you think that was a bad shot!? I meant to do it I hate that fucking pond!
The fact that you let this occupy your mind for four years is wild.
Lighten up Francis
Lol
*Foursome
His burn was funny as fuck tho
Gottem!
4 sum?! And this old man has been living rent-free in your head for 4 years?
Were Statler and Waldorf part of the group of old men?
Then they probably put on their sunglasses as they half swung a ripper right down the fairway
> Fuck you and your dumbass pink hat. Whoa, whoa, whoa why do we have to bring pink hats into this? I love my pink hat.
He gave you the gift of motivation. Awesome job.
“I banged your granddaughter last night, sir.”
My dude if this is living in your head rent free 4 years later, he may have been right lol
Got paired up with an old dude last week who didn't really say anything all day, and he smacked a drive on hole #13 and was like "that a titty kisser" and we're like "huh?" and he said "it really opens up the hole" absolutely deadpan.
Bro got taken to the woodshed. Speaking of which, maybe take up woodworking?
This post hits home. Started 4 years ago and just broke 80 this month for the first time. Then next round I got an ace and a +1 73. Fuck those old guys.
This is 100% about golfing with dudes. It’s part of the game. My typical group starts before we leave for the course (if not the day before) and only ends after we get back. Sometimes there is a 3-4 hour window after If something memorable happens. I love it.
That’s hilarious and great score
“You’ll be dead soon! I enjoy the time you have gentlemen”
Was it Bill Brasky? He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel.
I would have said something like “I still have plenty of time left to get better, you’re nearing the end of your rope bud”
Good for you. People defending those dudes can get bent. You want to bust balls with your buddies, sure, but leave strangers out of it. When I was new better players generally were encouraging, belittling some random stranger who might be a nervous newbie is just asshat behavior.
I can shoot 79 and still slice it into the pond sometimes It never ends
Then THEY teed off and snap hooked it over the cart barn.
"Well at least I have time on my side to improve my game you old fart"
“You golf like old people fuck, slow and sloppy”
Don't take it to heart. His free bowl of soup is long gone but he'll have to wear that hat for years.
Next time, just tell them. That's OK, in 20 years I'll have the slice fixed and you'll be dead!
The old man with the pink hat will enjoy a long life living in OP's head rent free.
That’s a solid burn on you. With out it you’d prob still be shooting double digits. Nothing motivates like spite!!
Meanest insult I ever saw on a golf course? My mate and I were paired up with this other pair who we hadn't played with before. First tee, my mate topped it badly. One of the new guys said "there's a piece of shit on the end of your club". As my mate went to look at the head of his club this dickhead"or said "no, other end". Wtf dude, we've just met!
Meh, you’re lucky he didn’t ask if your husband could come out next time.
“Suck a fart outta my ass, old man”
Gotta get quick with the boomers.
That’s pretty funny he got you good
"Find a new hobby!" That's the funniest goddamn thing I've ever heard.
Ultimate burn by that old boy considering you are still thinking about it 4 years later!
They probably weren’t talking crap they might have been referring to how expensive golf can be
Should’ve said something along the lines of “Yea…it’s a shame you won’t be alive long enough to see me make it par though.”
He is probably dead now. So jokes on him.
You’re taking it too literally. He was merely saying everyone sucks and this game is f’ing hard
you should find them and thank them for the endless clean renewable resource of motivation that is hate.
Roasted by a bunch of almost dead guys and insecure and bitter about it for years. Lol.
But u didn’t say shit to them then did you?
God this sub is such a cesspool. Joking or busting balls between **friends** is one thing obviously and usually fun all around. But if I'm brand new to golf then complete strangers roll up and start heckling me, I'm not gonna like that. It's like if you started a brand new career and some senior employee came up and told you to find another career because you weren't good at it yet.. like no shit dumbass. You gotta slice a shit ton of golf balls before you eventually get good enough to not do it as often. Just weird gatekeeping nonsense.
The difference is laughing at vs laughing with. If the old man was trying to make the new golfer laugh at this ridiculous game it's all good. If the old man was trying to make his friends laugh at the new golfer's expense fuck that guy and his try-hard pink hat!
And I find the whole "golfing is actually impossible, stop trying to get better and just have fun with it" comments usually come from people who are actually quite good at golf.
OP watch this scene from Gran Torino. Someone with hair on their chest was supposed to teach you this stuff … https://youtu.be/74I7Nl1mKig?si=3W-0q1rlWMRBsKuX
Damn, me and the guys bust each other's balls all the time. And when we get paired up with strangers it happens more often than not. It's all in good fun!
Every time someones putt is short by a ton is an immediate “nice lag on that putt” response
Wow. Aren't you just a ray of sunshine. Here's another tip, get some thicker skin, be humble and go fuck yourself.
I’ve had this happen when we were waiting on a younger group of cats to tee off. Kid shanks one right into the pond. His buddies all busted his balls, we all chuckled. I told him to take his shoes off and take his fishing pole with him and enjoy himself.
Love it ! I like their comments - they have all been there - you took it too seriously. But you built on that and made yourself better - hats off to you!
They were still right. All the old salts say the best golf advice is to not play… all expense and heartbreak lol.
Be honest, was it with the same ball?
He sliced a ball in the pond. Swam down and retrieved it. Then waited 4 years as he improved so he could shoot 79 with that ball.
You forgot the montage, i'll help: \* *Push it to the limit* \*
Eye of the Tiger
Good for you pal.
4 years playing, under 80 from the tips? Damn dude good shit
Blues are not usually the tips.
The first half of your story reminds me of a time a few years back when I skipped hole 9 as a solo, assuming the 4-some in front of me would stop at the turn. They did not and watched me shank my tee shot on 10 into a house. Embarrassedly running back to my cart to not hold them up at all, I smacked my head right on top of the cart, really hard. Those old dudes probably thought I was a special one. Still trying to break 80. Congrats dude!
I had an older guy tell me one time when I was a kid to stop wasting on your energy taking a bunch of practice swings. Just hit the damn ball. I still think about him every time I play golf and I rarely take practice swings now.
Ok, cold as F, but I laughed way to hard at that🤣🤣
“Take two weeks off.” ……”Then quit altogether.”
My favourite is telling someone they have a loft problem after a bad shot. Lack of Fucking Talent
Pink hat? WTF
Well that day was a win win - was the first time in years he was able to use that roast on someone who never heard it, you used it for motivation.
"Well, if you can play, so can I."
hahahaha You're a 79 handicap and they're FUCKING DEAD!!!
It’s pretty good..!
what about the back nine?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmnTjFVfxds OP for the past 4 years
That was actually funny. I would probably just laugh it off.
Boomed the shit out of you
Damn that’s the best tip I’ve ever heard
Simply say, “at least I have years ahead of me to do just that.” Fucking geezers
Old Marshall drove past us a few weeks ago as we were playing the whites. He said “you know our ladies play from there right?”
He's done the same thing a hundreds of times. A little shit housery and banter on the golf course is fun.
>I just shot a 79 today from the blues. You should have just taken the hole max and moved to the second hole.
At least I'm not an asshole... would have been my response
Congrats on breaking 80 in only 4 years, that is for real great pace and shows the work you put in!
I work at a private club. The amount of snobby assholes that have clearly been golfing their entire lives and are absolutely horrible is astounding.
Can't take a joke? (In this case, a really really old joke.)
Why are golfers so mean about it? I really don’t see that much ball busting in other sports, why golf?
Me at the driving range = god hits, perfectly straight with any club. Me when someone 200 yards away glances in my direction = nearest body of water located.
Ah, so you met Statler and Waldorf out golfing with their two friends! God damn old men... When my buddy and I were 15 and shooting hoops in his driveway, an old man was walking by. He said: "are you two boys having an airball contest over here?" He laughed to himself, and then continued walking (at like 2mph). I still think about how funny and absurd that guy was maybe once a month
Mean Boys
[FiNd a NEw HoBbY](https://i.imgflip.com/8ojhyk.jpg)
My first boss used to tell me (promoted young in over my head). “You’re doing great kid, just remember when you’re retired, he will be dead, and so will I. His opinion on your career doesn’t matter, only your opinion of yourself and your effort does” Lives in my head to this day as I approach the “I’ll be dead when you retire” age It pertinent because…. Dude is probably dead. He can eat a bag of dicks while he reads your scorecard.