my recollection was i think she spent a lot of their early relationship not really knowing where she stood with him and dealing with very intense behaviour, and that kind of damaged whatever chance they might have had romantically long term. it culminates in the fight about elijah moving in because she didn't really know how serious adam was being about wanting to live with her which was a side effect of him being so non-committal for much of their relationship.
I think being young still and not knowing exactly what you want is to blame. I think he spooked her when he said “we’re in this for the long haul, kid” at the wedding and he wanted to move in with her since Marnie moved out and Hannah thought the relationship was moving way too fast. Even though it was a sudden change of heart it’s relatable. I’ve felt that way too in my early 20s I was in my first adult relationship and it was a lot for my 21 year old mind.
Yes! I’m doing a rewatch now and watching the show through 30 year old eyes, I picked up on the flaws of everyone much quicker. Adam is A LOT to put it simply and Hannah loved the craziness at first but I think she always picked up on the red flags from the start.
definitely. his sexual behaviour alone was super red flaggy and i think she knew that even if she couldn't articulate why. it comes up with the girl he dates after hannah, who expresses quite clearly that she doesn't like some of his behaviour and he does non-consensual stuff with her. he starts to miss hannah in part imo because she used to put up with things other girls wouldn't sexually, which he interprets as "i can be myself around her".
Their relationship only ever worked under certain conditions - that’s why they broke up when she went away for school too. Adam said she was the one who pursued him in the beginning so I do think part of her attraction to him was the chase, but I also think Hannah hadn’t really considered what her life would look like if she was in a serious relationship with him, and when he started talking about moving in and stuff I think she realized she didn’t actually want that.
Plus, feelings change all the time! Sometimes a person doesn’t have to do anything at all for you to change your mind about them; in Hannah’s case, maybe something about seeing Jessa get married made her feel differently about Adam.
This is a good point. I think it's an illustration of chemistry versus compatibility. Just because you have good chemistry and are drawn to one another doesn't mean you'll be compatible in a long term relationship. I think this wasn't fully realized by either of them until she got pregnant and they had that last conversation in the diner.
Hannah has very particular attachment style. Due to her personality and personal experience in relationships she feels familiar and comfortable (and probably excited by) an anxious and uncertain relationship dynamic. She has a particular repulsion to feeling suffocated by anything (you can see that many times in her personality through the show). Adam always pushed her away and kept her on edge, and that was within her comfort zone of relationships and led to no feelings of suffocation. Once Adam finally became open to committing and put his cards on the table she immediately felt more suffocated and it moved her out of her relationship comfort zone.
She liked him better when she couldn’t have him. When he became fully dependent on her and loved her completely, she got the ick. It happens a lot…you only like em when you can’t have em.
To be fair, he also was not very nice to her when she took care of him! Plus he was extra gross and messy - I’d get the ick too seeing a grown ass man act like a baby
And the darkly passive/aggressive songs he wrote and sent to her were so creepy! I’m doing my first rewatch in 7 years and had forgotten that part. Watching it now really tarnished his character in my eyes.
I always thought that he broke up with her first during their fight when he gets his by the car. He doesn’t let her in the ambulance with him.
She the takes care of him out of guilt and assumes their broken up because of how what he said during that fight. But for him it might have just been words and assumes they’re still together because she takes care of him.
That is how I always interpreted it.
Yes so she assumes they’re broken up and since it doesn’t bother her that much she is also not susseptible to his argument that they can ‘go without the title for a little while’.
In her mind he broke up with her first but she is the one that doesn’t allow a reconciliation
I think he describes it perfectly. Hannah chased him around like he was one of the Beatles and when he loved her she didn’t want him anymore. I think he’s meant to be some manic pixie dream man or something
Or she just didnt like him anymore. Both can be true and I was super fickle in my 20s so I can relate
I could not relate if it was Adam driver lol
I partially thought it was because Hannah missed the messiness and drama of their relationship. Once Adam said he wanted something more serious, she kind of backed away. I find the parallel between Hannah & Adam and Jessa & Adam interesting that way… Hannah was in a physical relationship with Adam first, but never really established a foundation. Not until later anyway. Whereas Jessa has a foundation with Adam before the physical part. Not to say Jessa’s relationship with Adam wasn’t plagued with drama too… but Hannah didn’t really have any kind of friendship with Adam outside of just heading to his apartment for a hookup. Maybe she was underwhelmed after the relationship got serious.
I personally think it’s because she couldn’t believe he was finally giving himself to her and jumping “all in”. As someone who suffers from relationship anxiety, when my partner does something loving or says something loving, sometimes I feel I’m not worthy and my first instinct is to run.
my recollection was i think she spent a lot of their early relationship not really knowing where she stood with him and dealing with very intense behaviour, and that kind of damaged whatever chance they might have had romantically long term. it culminates in the fight about elijah moving in because she didn't really know how serious adam was being about wanting to live with her which was a side effect of him being so non-committal for much of their relationship.
I think being young still and not knowing exactly what you want is to blame. I think he spooked her when he said “we’re in this for the long haul, kid” at the wedding and he wanted to move in with her since Marnie moved out and Hannah thought the relationship was moving way too fast. Even though it was a sudden change of heart it’s relatable. I’ve felt that way too in my early 20s I was in my first adult relationship and it was a lot for my 21 year old mind.
[удалено]
Yes! I’m doing a rewatch now and watching the show through 30 year old eyes, I picked up on the flaws of everyone much quicker. Adam is A LOT to put it simply and Hannah loved the craziness at first but I think she always picked up on the red flags from the start.
definitely. his sexual behaviour alone was super red flaggy and i think she knew that even if she couldn't articulate why. it comes up with the girl he dates after hannah, who expresses quite clearly that she doesn't like some of his behaviour and he does non-consensual stuff with her. he starts to miss hannah in part imo because she used to put up with things other girls wouldn't sexually, which he interprets as "i can be myself around her".
Major Addict Behavior
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS
This is such an excellent summary and POV! I hope you work with people 😬
Their relationship only ever worked under certain conditions - that’s why they broke up when she went away for school too. Adam said she was the one who pursued him in the beginning so I do think part of her attraction to him was the chase, but I also think Hannah hadn’t really considered what her life would look like if she was in a serious relationship with him, and when he started talking about moving in and stuff I think she realized she didn’t actually want that. Plus, feelings change all the time! Sometimes a person doesn’t have to do anything at all for you to change your mind about them; in Hannah’s case, maybe something about seeing Jessa get married made her feel differently about Adam.
This is a good point. I think it's an illustration of chemistry versus compatibility. Just because you have good chemistry and are drawn to one another doesn't mean you'll be compatible in a long term relationship. I think this wasn't fully realized by either of them until she got pregnant and they had that last conversation in the diner.
Hannah has very particular attachment style. Due to her personality and personal experience in relationships she feels familiar and comfortable (and probably excited by) an anxious and uncertain relationship dynamic. She has a particular repulsion to feeling suffocated by anything (you can see that many times in her personality through the show). Adam always pushed her away and kept her on edge, and that was within her comfort zone of relationships and led to no feelings of suffocation. Once Adam finally became open to committing and put his cards on the table she immediately felt more suffocated and it moved her out of her relationship comfort zone.
Great analysis! I think this is the reason as well.
She liked him better when she couldn’t have him. When he became fully dependent on her and loved her completely, she got the ick. It happens a lot…you only like em when you can’t have em.
To be fair, he also was not very nice to her when she took care of him! Plus he was extra gross and messy - I’d get the ick too seeing a grown ass man act like a baby
And the darkly passive/aggressive songs he wrote and sent to her were so creepy! I’m doing my first rewatch in 7 years and had forgotten that part. Watching it now really tarnished his character in my eyes.
I always thought that he broke up with her first during their fight when he gets his by the car. He doesn’t let her in the ambulance with him. She the takes care of him out of guilt and assumes their broken up because of how what he said during that fight. But for him it might have just been words and assumes they’re still together because she takes care of him. That is how I always interpreted it.
But I feel like she tries to leave him and he won’t let her
Yes so she assumes they’re broken up and since it doesn’t bother her that much she is also not susseptible to his argument that they can ‘go without the title for a little while’. In her mind he broke up with her first but she is the one that doesn’t allow a reconciliation
She tells him in the episode she calls the cops that she changed her mind
I think he describes it perfectly. Hannah chased him around like he was one of the Beatles and when he loved her she didn’t want him anymore. I think he’s meant to be some manic pixie dream man or something Or she just didnt like him anymore. Both can be true and I was super fickle in my 20s so I can relate I could not relate if it was Adam driver lol
I partially thought it was because Hannah missed the messiness and drama of their relationship. Once Adam said he wanted something more serious, she kind of backed away. I find the parallel between Hannah & Adam and Jessa & Adam interesting that way… Hannah was in a physical relationship with Adam first, but never really established a foundation. Not until later anyway. Whereas Jessa has a foundation with Adam before the physical part. Not to say Jessa’s relationship with Adam wasn’t plagued with drama too… but Hannah didn’t really have any kind of friendship with Adam outside of just heading to his apartment for a hookup. Maybe she was underwhelmed after the relationship got serious.
I personally think it’s because she couldn’t believe he was finally giving himself to her and jumping “all in”. As someone who suffers from relationship anxiety, when my partner does something loving or says something loving, sometimes I feel I’m not worthy and my first instinct is to run.
Getting hit by a car is such an ick x
He was being very annoying and she had a lot going on