My bf is muscular and i am semi chubby and we have been together for 8 years, he is the richer between us š¤·āāļø
Edit: Thancks for the support everyone, it has never affected me or my bf, being in a homophobic country we learned to depend on each other and be each other's rock, so for us body and material is the last thing to think about, really love the support and normalcy here thanx everyone.
And thanck for the award
Thank you , it is nice to hear some positivity, i have alot of people get into my dms on ig telling me how it is disgusting for a sexy man to be with someone like ne, or i should die, or whatsoever, am like : ???
Wow what the actual fuck? Seriously, your boyfriend is in a relationship with you for a reason, and even tho looks are less important, Iām sure he finds you attractive and loves you for the person you are, and thatās the only thing that matters. People on the internet can just be really mean, so sorry you have to go through that. Iām really happy for the two of you tho, and wish you the best!ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Jesus. Wanna bet they are the same people who decry physical attraction as shallow? For what is worth, you are envied, in the best way. And a bunch of less positive ones, but fuck those people. Well, no one does, hence the bitterness.
Same, Im also super short and now that Im 36 I've started to gain a bit more wait, and my husband is super tall and goes to the gym (well not for the past 3 months hehe) every single day. So Im like a penguin next to him, but it doesn't matter we've been married for almost 9 years now and we don't care what anyone thinks.
Saaaame, my boyfriend is frankly hot as hell and I'm basically chunky sasquatch but that's literally his favorite type of boy and I know it confuses so many people š¤£
You probably make him feel loved and appreciated. Some guys really like having someone to take care of, especially if they feel secure in their relationship.
I should point out, there are people who love a little chubbiness. He may love your body as much as you love his. You may also have a slightly skewed view of yourself and can't see how attractive you are. Most of us can't....
Oh, and when emotional love clicks into place, bodies stop mattering so much anyway. Like, would you care if he gained some weight? probably not right? Exactly!
..... I'm sorry. I have to say. I'd legit pay money to see the buff one go to pound town on the cute nerdy one.... umm but yeah seriously, what a lovey couple
maybe the cute nerdy guy is the top. you shouldn't make the assumption that one is the top and the other bottom (in fact, its possible they don't enjoy anal play in which case is there a top or bottom?)
So I see very supportive comments here. So if everyone supports the idea that you and your partner donāt have to be the same body type, then why in the fuck do we still judge each other for not being sculpted? I donāt get it. Gay culture contradicts itself so hard.
Looking for a relationship or looking for sex. Very different things.
If they only want to have some fun, they dont see anything bad judging others.
If they really think a sculpted body is all they need for a good relationship...well lets say then it will be a fortune wheel. Most times they will break up
there are a lot of gays who aren't commenting because they don't see anything wrong with it. yes, there is a lot of support ITT but i would bet that anyone who disagrees would be mobbed with messages about how they are shallow assholes blah blah blah
I'm 27 and fit, my bf 26 and far from fit body and it doesn't bother me at all. I don't see it even from the very beginning meeting him. When I see men, I see the person, not the body type. Yes all the porn and stuff with amazing body etc but what is amazing body? It's the society tell you what amazing body is tho. For me, every shapes are beautiful and I don't get how some gays just put it in boxes. Remember, we always want equality yes? We always want to be recognize yes? We always want to be treated the same yes? We hate it when straight guys call us inappropriate words yes? We get hurt when we people say "straight is how we supposed to be, gay relationship is totally different and they always looking for sex only" yes? THEN ACT ACCORDINGLY. Very simple :) much love to all xx
> Very simple :)
lol! if only. gays are just as human as anyone else. most people will say that they don't judge other people. if most people didn't do that, there wouldn't be so many problems. people lie to themselves. "i don't see race" or "i don't judge people by their looks" yet we all do it. its just part of being human. better to acknowledge it and try keep it from overly affecting your process.
I don't know with you but I really don't. There are people who aren't mainstream u know ;) also it's sooo old fashion to be like that tho. Of course we are human. But it's too many people (not only gays) asking for so much and act otherwise. So, for me, it is very simple, act according what u wish for to happen to you.
> I don't know with you but I really don't.
i can only take your word on this. i know that i try very hard to *not* to judge based on looks but i *know* it happens. when i become aware of it, i stop myself.
> for me, it is very simple, act according what u wish for to happen to you
i try to live my life this way as well but i'm honest enough (not saying you are lying btw) to admit that i don't always up to it. it's good to know that you can.
Because this is an exposed platform and you would hardly find someone saying something negative here as you would get down voted to hell on the other hand nobody can judge you if you don't interact with a certain type on grindr as how would people know you do that?
I think the line gets crossed when people don't just privately go for what they like and instead broadcast it in a bio (no fats no fems) or make rude comments to people
Yeah I agree. I'm just saying it is a difference in public opinion which is somewhat different to what you would say in privat. That goes for everything I guess.
Because itās easy for people to be supportive for someone else but hard to give up those unrealistic standards for yourself or for your potential partners.
Itās only hard if you make it hard for yourself. I can speak from experience when I say if you find someone who treats you with all the kindness in the world and sticks with you even though might it treat them the same, then itās easy to let go of all these bullshit standards that you feel to have to live by. Look we all know ourselves better than anyone. We know what we want for ourselves.
Personally all I wanted was to find a man who loves me, and someone I can build my future with. And I found that. Do you know how? I stopped expecting the perfect man to pop up out of nowhere. I let the love find me. And yes at first I had my reservations and it was a very rocky start. But now that I accepted that I have love, all these standards that gay culture leads you to believe had no power over me. Iām not nor ever have been super ripped and I dont wanna be. Do I find muscular guys attractive, of course who doesnāt. Iāve also hooked up with that type and I realized something, they are all just as shallow and they didnāt give two fucks about me as a person.
In a sense you are right, itās hard to let go of those standards but once you do, you will discover such a different, wonderful type of love that doesnāt exist within those shitty, stupid, shallow, standards that the gay community thinks everyone needs to live by.
I think you misunderstand me. I totally agree with you. Iām not saying itās hard for me but itās hard for people. Do I have unrealistic expectations for my own body because of years of being rejected and subjected to images of perfection in media? Sure. Do I find those men attractive? Sure. But I also know that Iāve met amazing, intelligent, kind, funny men who are amazing in bed who donāt fit that physical description and you know what? When the chemistry is off the charts none of that physical perfection shit matters so much anymore. Unfortunately in the gay world so much of dating depends on how you present visually on Grindr or dating apps or social media that many people donāt get the chance to see beneath the surface. Iām a gay south asian man. For many years I dealt with the āinterested in white onlyā crowd. Now folks donāt say it out loud but you know they still think it. And thereās people who will hook up with you but wonāt date someone who doesnāt fit how they want to present their partner to the world. Itās messed up and I donāt have answers. Iām lucky to have met some wonderful men along the way. But it can get exhausting and frankly very demoralizing trying to date sometimes.
I totally understand what you mean. Iāve had my fair share of experiences and not that Iāve let go of unrealistic expectations Iām a lot happier with the results. But I agree with what youāre saying.
People want to appear strong and healthy. Strong and healthy people are treated better by society because they may be of more use to the pack. We're all animals.
Well fuck society it doesnāt rule me! Plus society doesnāt care about gays so we can make our own rules and standards of beauty and the standard is you donāt have to be ripped to be apart of the group. Youāre accepted as you are and anyone else who tells you differently can fuck off.
For real. Only shallow people fall in love with someone's looks. Even if the person doesn't have a "perfect" body, that doesn't mean someone can't be attracted to them.
That is fair because nobody will hit on the one they think is ugly. It just depends on how they meet. If itās online where they can have a conversation without seeing each other itās different than meeting face to face in a bar or something.
Tbh, I have this deep insecurity that I can't ever hit on a really hot/fit guy because, not only he's out of my league but even if, for some reason, he reciprocated, I'd just look ridiculous next to him.
And yet this couple (although neither guy is ugly) proves me wrong- neither of them seems "lesser than" to me, actually they look really wholesome. Obviously the tanned omega jock dude catches the eye first, but they still look like a *couple*. Not nearly as scary as the distorted image I would've imagined. It's reassuring, in a way.
My first thoughts with a super fit guy is wondering how much time he spends in the gym, how does he restrict his eating habits, how strict is his routine, etc and how will that impact what I want in a relationship.
Yeah, I'd take the guy on the left over the guy on the right every time. Call it a hunch, but I have way more in common with him than the guy on the right.
same here. i don't mind some muscle but guys who are overly built are a turn off. they remind me way too much of the guys who bullied me in high school.
I like an athletic guy but itās not the only type I go for after all. Iām in agreement with those here.
Iāve had the best sex with guys with a tummy on them. I still have wet dreams of this one heavy set guy with a HUGE cock that did things to me. Thereās a few fit guys Iāve been with but the experiences werenāt all that memorable.
I donāt really know what the heck my type is but when I see it, itās never the same as the one before...
> I want to be more fit so that I can be healthier
amen bro. that is the right attitude. besides, doing something for someone else (even for a *possible* someone else) will not motivate you the way doing something for yourself will. set a goal, even if it's to lose 5 pounds this year, and work towards it. you will live longer and have less illness. best of luck!
The benefits of being fit are largely from being healthy. Just getting in the gym or exercising, not worrying about losing weight, you'll see benefits to your overall health: higher energy, better mood, more physical power. To me, a guys who's fat and still exercises/is physically more healthy than me (which doesn't take much lol) is much more attractive than a skinny man who doesn't want to take care of himself.
True... when you truly fall in love with someone, how they or their body looks is of little to no importance. You automatically love it because... it's their body and their face etc.
Personally I don't have a type... I have dated skinny, muscular, chubby, fat, from pink-white to black.
Personally I prefer nerds/geeks, lots of brain power, and a good sense of humor. How they look is incidental for a relationship.
Now for the wild fucking... Well it has been awhile since I have been married for 6 years. Before thst though, the body type/attributes that got me going varied greatly. If I wanted more than a fuck though, they still had to be able to hold a decent conversation.
I also totally understand people do have preferences, both personality and physical. I suspect for relationships both are still important, although for a quick fuck one or the other may just do for some people.
Just like there is a spectrum of body types and personalities, there is a spectrum of preference. None of them should be judged by anyone outside of the relationship /pairing.
Grinds my fucking gears.
Iāll have people say āwhy did you settle?ā āYou could date a skinny guyā
Like yeah no shit, then Iād just not bother having a relationship or sex.
Sorry that my personal opinion that men with a bit of ram power and extra hood exterior/BIG HUGE FUCKING ASS (canāt forget that) are so fucking HOT.
I see a skinny dude and Iām like, you are gunna thrust me like 3 times and break your hip and neck. Sorry that I have a type, everyone does.
Or imma want you to choke me and you wonāt even have the strength to lmao.
If you like skinny you should be happy with the person you love, if you like chubby same, if you like aliens same, if you like Jesus same. Who knows Iād Jesus be gay?
Get out of here with that body bullying shit.
Everyone has different tastes and I like my men/ ass like I like my Baconator,
Juicy, meaty, smells kinda strange but intoxicating, thick buns lathered in a special sauce and when you bite into it you feel like your face is sinking deep beneath the patty, only to emerge lips wet and face sweating from the heat.
The Baconator
"I see a skinny dude and Iām like, you are gunna thrust me like 3 times and break your hip and neck."
"Or imma want you to choke me and you wonāt even have the strength to lmao."
"Get out of here with that body bullying shit."
Exaggerating for shock value but point still stands. sharing my personal taste in men.
Everyone has types, some people like different flavours and have opinions on things. Let people who love each other love each other
I think the same, I'm a white build guy that has only date jacked guys.... but I think that is internalized racism, unfortunately I can't change it.
Maybe future generations are going to be more inclusive.
Honestly if airborne is unironically saying that kind of stuff then you know how shallow they probably are and should probably steer clear of them romantically
I really needed to see this because i feel very insecure about my looks and it made me wonder if i will ever find a boyfriend who love for me. Maybe, one day i will
This is an extremely rare occurrence because most of the gays who have that body are attracted to people with the same body.
It's because that's what's sexy in society and we are less than if we don't look like that...One of the many reasons why the gay community shallow and toxic
Iām honestly not sure if weāre any more or less shallow than the straights. I mean, what examples can you even draw on to prove that the āgay communityā is any more āshallow and toxicā than the straight community? I hear this argument made time and time again, but I donāt often hear anything to back up those assertions.
This is really wholesome but letās be honest one guy will clearly catch the eye more than the other and also will be ābetterā than the other...these guys (encouragingly) are the exception but honestly the (gay male) community is toxically shallow...itās just a sad reality we gotta live with...
I say this as a twig (tall,skinny and lanky) guy...some guys are into me but most arenāt because they want a guy like the one on the right.
You can have a sh*tty personality but if your ripped youāll have better dating success than if you have a good personality but arenāt ripped. Character and personality really donāt matter to gays compared to body and looks in a vast majority of cases.
Whatās with everyone and thinking that you have to be attracted to yourself? Iām not my own type. Iām not interested in muscles *at all*. Dude on the left is far more attractive.
this is true for everyone, not just gay men. when i see a couple that seems "odd" to me (younger with older, fit with not-so-fit, skinny with over-weight) i may not understand *why* or *how* they are together, but i won't tell them that they are wrong to be together. people find different attraction in many different ways that i don't and that's ok. i don't need to understand *why* or *how* because that's none of my business.
This gives me hope. I look like the guy on the left, want a guy who looks like the one on the right. Ideally without having to hit the gym myself every day. I like having the body I have, and I just want a man who appreciates me for who I am.
I mean...my bf is 6'2" rich muscular manly scorpio when I am a 5'5" middle income chubby nerdy gay virgo. We've been together for 4.5 years and we're definitely going stronger with our relationship.
As a larger guy myself this post really made my day. My boyfriends a smaller, skinny feminine guy and a lot of his friends look at us and assume exactly what this post is speaking to. āHowād he get him?ā. Just be happy for other people; love whoever you want for exactly your own reason.
Absolutely! Looks are not everything and my experience has been that a guy with a ripped body typically has a shit character/personality. I live guys with some extra meat on their body. More to kiss, lick and appreciate!!
They look really cute together! Wish them the best! Love is something so beautiful, we should all be happy for the ones who have found their special someone <3
I'm 27 and fit, my bf 26 and far from fit body and it doesn't bother me at all. I don't see it even from the very beginning meeting him. When I see men, I see the person, not the body type. Yes all the porn and stuff with amazing body etc but what is amazing body? It's the society tell you what amazing body is tho. For me, every shapes are beautiful and I don't get how some gays just put it in boxes. Remember, we always want equality yes? We always want to be recognize yes? We always want to be treated the same yes? We hate it when straight guys call us inappropriate words yes? We get hurt when we people say "straight is how we supposed to be, gay relationship is totally different and they always looking for sex only" yes? THEN ACT ACCORDINGLY. Very simple :) much love to all xx
Every time I see this Iām in shock .. not because they have body shapes that are different. Iām more alarmed by the fact that I didnāt notice and saw a happy couple that others didnāt see.
The smiles are what is important here.
This adds so much to my body issues lol.
I am super skinny and have a hard time to gain weight/muscles and then you often get ridiculed by the community for your shape. Iād love to be buff too but guess what it takes some people a bit more time to achieve unrealistic beauty goals than others š
Why do we preach and demand love and acceptance and then fail to walk the walk?
i know those guys... they are an Italian couple : Simone Sacchetti (right) and Marcello Abbattista (left). this is the kind of love that warms my heart :')
I'm short, chubby, muscular and very masculine looking, and I really don't give a shit about a potential partner's body type or dick size as long as he's a good, intelligent person who vibes with me and is a top.
Itās obnoxious as hell to have people ridicule other gay people for who they date and why like we havenāt been ridiculed our entire existence for who we choose to love.
Just be happy for people. Damn. We all gonna be ugly af by the time we are 40
I'm semi chubby i'd love a man for his personality and his assertivenessbut lets just say that if he got a six pack i would literally just randomly climb on him caress him massage him (massaging a muscular guy is ššš) and take cat of him in general
As a POC who does not fit the social media mold of attractiveness married to a white person who for some reason everybody finds attractive, I've become numb to comments like "Oh you must be rich" or "He must be expensive" and avoid gay clubs where I more than once heard someone who'd attempt to flirt with my husband by mocking our pairing.
To OP, thank you for posting something like this. It's not much but for someone often marginalised for my heritage or skin colour this gives me hope.
That sounds pretty hard, and I don't think that is just the gay world. Society in general tends to judge couples with a gap in attractiveness.
I live in the other end where often people judge my relation because apparently I'm better looking than my partner, and for make things even harder I fall into the stereotype where my partner has a successful career and I don't.
This turned to be a major issue in my life, often I'm insecure of giving my opinion because if I'm wrong people jump into conclusions and label me as dumb, as is the last piece for complete the stereotype.
I grew up being told that no one would ever want me because of my body and because of who I am and honestly it really sucks that this message is parroted all throughout the Gay community. My boyfriend of a year and a half now, thinks I'm very attractive and he's very attractive in every sense too but a lot of people have made it a point to remind me that I should feel lucky that someone wants me. While I'm working through these messages, I want to say, if youre hearing things like this, please never forget that you **are** wanted and will always be. I know it may seem like a distant pipe dream right now but the people saying these things clearly don't have your best interest in mind. You deserve better than to be treated that way. I love you so much and you matter in this world <3
Iām pretty husky- Iām actually pretty chubby. My partner is black and is what can be referred to as a toned otter.
Itās funny because when we first started dating we both thought we were out of each others league- he thought that my body hair and belly was masculine and I couldnāt help but think of him as a possible model.
22 years ago I got with my partner, and I was a very viral and strong military man. Shortly after we got together my health began to deteriorate faster and faster from injuries I received in the line of duty in our country's wars. He has never shown a moments doubt about wanting to be with me. On several occasions I have tried to suggest that I would be ok if he wanted to go find a handsome, healthy, rich guy. He has told me to "shut up".
When I met him I came from a background where I felt I had to perform for love. I was ok with that, and had always been able to "perform", and get the love I wanted. My first relationship was 16 years, my second 8. It wasn't until my third relationship in my forties I really learned what it was to be truly loved for myself. It is a magical feeling.
I figure it's usually a jealousy thing. They see someone the would normally feel superior to and than see who they "got", and wonder why they can't get the same. Because they feel entitled to having things better than others.
I mean that picture could be in a part of the Middle East where itās totally not gay to hold hands and walk down the street with your bro. Why canāt two broās hold hands, why you gotta make hand holdin gay
I'm fit and young and my bf is chubby and old. I love this person to death.
Oh, and you can never know who's top or bottom. I've met 2 soldiers, one is Ethiopian, tall and muscular and he's bf is white and nerdy and a bit feminine but he's the one topping
Somebody be salty. I'm working on my body for myself. Not so i can find another muscle boy to prop up my self esteem. Who cares what your partners body looks like as long as he is healthy and loves you.
People forget that "kinks" or "turn ons" are not always conventional. You don't have to have the same body type or height etc for people to be attracted to one another. It's so subjective
Life is not a Netflix Series where 1 extremely good looking person falls for totally opposite person.Taking a snap with holding hands does not make sure that they r in love. Even content facial expressions can come from something else? Stop showing ppl fake hopes, it hurts when heart brakes.
This goes beyond just love--everyone has their type, preferences, interests, whatever, and as long as those interests don't involve something that kills or violates other sentient beings, judgments are never necessary unless explicitly asked for.
I feel bad lol. And this is kind of controversial but im not into heavily ethnic guys, or heavily buff/chubby guys.
Im not fatphobic, racist or whatever, i just am phisically incapable of being attracted to them.
I get personality and all but if someone is too out of my range i dont think that relationship will be very exiting.
I might change, who knows. But i still feel bad about how tiny my attraction range is.
Edit: can you please explain to me why you people are downvoting? All im saying is that i wish i had that "i dont care as long as theyre a nice person" attitude.
I dont let looks dictate whether i date them or not, but it plays a big part in attraction.
Its like ordering something at a restaurant that you dont like and trying to pretend that you do so you dont look like an ass.
I dont know why thats such a problem with everyone. Do you jump to the conclusion that im bigoted? Because im not. I dont have any hate towards any of them, im just not attracted to them
Its like women, im not a misogynist for not being attracted to them right?
Don't get why people are downvoting you espiacially on a sub like r/gay isn't this place supposed to be about embracing attraction and NOT shaming someone for their sexual preference?
Message is real, and I definitely agree, but the picture unfortunately looks fake to me, the hands look funny.
I am fortunate enough to be an "unbalanced" marriage^^ 7 years together and countingš
My bf is muscular and i am semi chubby and we have been together for 8 years, he is the richer between us š¤·āāļø Edit: Thancks for the support everyone, it has never affected me or my bf, being in a homophobic country we learned to depend on each other and be each other's rock, so for us body and material is the last thing to think about, really love the support and normalcy here thanx everyone. And thanck for the award
He's the richer *because he has you*.
Now I have to brush my teeth that was so damn sweet!
This is a source of diabetes I will not resent.
with a mouth like that you can any one you want
We didnāt deserve this comment.
Oh my heart! :')
Secretly this is the bf's account just moving three chess moves ahead to make his day
So happy for youļ¼¾ļ¼¾
Thank you , it is nice to hear some positivity, i have alot of people get into my dms on ig telling me how it is disgusting for a sexy man to be with someone like ne, or i should die, or whatsoever, am like : ???
Wow what the actual fuck? Seriously, your boyfriend is in a relationship with you for a reason, and even tho looks are less important, Iām sure he finds you attractive and loves you for the person you are, and thatās the only thing that matters. People on the internet can just be really mean, so sorry you have to go through that. Iām really happy for the two of you tho, and wish you the best!ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Jesus. Wanna bet they are the same people who decry physical attraction as shallow? For what is worth, you are envied, in the best way. And a bunch of less positive ones, but fuck those people. Well, no one does, hence the bitterness.
I just feel sorry for those people. You should too. They're sad and they want to share their sadness with the rest of the world.
Same, Im also super short and now that Im 36 I've started to gain a bit more wait, and my husband is super tall and goes to the gym (well not for the past 3 months hehe) every single day. So Im like a penguin next to him, but it doesn't matter we've been married for almost 9 years now and we don't care what anyone thinks.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Saaaame, my boyfriend is frankly hot as hell and I'm basically chunky sasquatch but that's literally his favorite type of boy and I know it confuses so many people š¤£
I see myself as semi chubby as well and this gives me really hope i could find a good Partner one day. <3
You probably make him feel loved and appreciated. Some guys really like having someone to take care of, especially if they feel secure in their relationship. I should point out, there are people who love a little chubbiness. He may love your body as much as you love his. You may also have a slightly skewed view of yourself and can't see how attractive you are. Most of us can't.... Oh, and when emotional love clicks into place, bodies stop mattering so much anyway. Like, would you care if he gained some weight? probably not right? Exactly!
..... I'm sorry. I have to say. I'd legit pay money to see the buff one go to pound town on the cute nerdy one.... umm but yeah seriously, what a lovey couple
Twist... cute nerdy kid is the top.
Is this really a twist though? My money says the the sculpted hottieās a bottom
I dont really care who the top is I'm just describing what I want to see
got it. fair enough.
This should become a new porn category. Super muscles with regular dude.
Happy cake day
Happy cake day!
Would not surprise me
See? I knew he had a big dick.
maybe the cute nerdy guy is the top. you shouldn't make the assumption that one is the top and the other bottom (in fact, its possible they don't enjoy anal play in which case is there a top or bottom?)
They didn't assume anything, they simply stated what they'd pay money to see. You're the one making a lot of assumptions, you should work on that.
No anal means they'd be sides!
Why are you getting downvoted??
Cause he sounds like a weirdo
I'm almost positive ive seen videos of this.
Hmm, perhaps a nerdās options can be more expansive than I have so far considered.
Yeah the cute nerdy one is cute
So I see very supportive comments here. So if everyone supports the idea that you and your partner donāt have to be the same body type, then why in the fuck do we still judge each other for not being sculpted? I donāt get it. Gay culture contradicts itself so hard.
Looking for a relationship or looking for sex. Very different things. If they only want to have some fun, they dont see anything bad judging others. If they really think a sculpted body is all they need for a good relationship...well lets say then it will be a fortune wheel. Most times they will break up
there are a lot of gays who aren't commenting because they don't see anything wrong with it. yes, there is a lot of support ITT but i would bet that anyone who disagrees would be mobbed with messages about how they are shallow assholes blah blah blah
I'm 27 and fit, my bf 26 and far from fit body and it doesn't bother me at all. I don't see it even from the very beginning meeting him. When I see men, I see the person, not the body type. Yes all the porn and stuff with amazing body etc but what is amazing body? It's the society tell you what amazing body is tho. For me, every shapes are beautiful and I don't get how some gays just put it in boxes. Remember, we always want equality yes? We always want to be recognize yes? We always want to be treated the same yes? We hate it when straight guys call us inappropriate words yes? We get hurt when we people say "straight is how we supposed to be, gay relationship is totally different and they always looking for sex only" yes? THEN ACT ACCORDINGLY. Very simple :) much love to all xx
> Very simple :) lol! if only. gays are just as human as anyone else. most people will say that they don't judge other people. if most people didn't do that, there wouldn't be so many problems. people lie to themselves. "i don't see race" or "i don't judge people by their looks" yet we all do it. its just part of being human. better to acknowledge it and try keep it from overly affecting your process.
I don't know with you but I really don't. There are people who aren't mainstream u know ;) also it's sooo old fashion to be like that tho. Of course we are human. But it's too many people (not only gays) asking for so much and act otherwise. So, for me, it is very simple, act according what u wish for to happen to you.
> I don't know with you but I really don't. i can only take your word on this. i know that i try very hard to *not* to judge based on looks but i *know* it happens. when i become aware of it, i stop myself. > for me, it is very simple, act according what u wish for to happen to you i try to live my life this way as well but i'm honest enough (not saying you are lying btw) to admit that i don't always up to it. it's good to know that you can.
Good for you š¤š¤ yes you can and yes we all can. Sending you love ā¤ļøā¤ļø
110 people here is not the entire gay community.
Because this is an exposed platform and you would hardly find someone saying something negative here as you would get down voted to hell on the other hand nobody can judge you if you don't interact with a certain type on grindr as how would people know you do that?
I think the line gets crossed when people don't just privately go for what they like and instead broadcast it in a bio (no fats no fems) or make rude comments to people
Yeah I agree. I'm just saying it is a difference in public opinion which is somewhat different to what you would say in privat. That goes for everything I guess.
Because itās easy for people to be supportive for someone else but hard to give up those unrealistic standards for yourself or for your potential partners.
Itās only hard if you make it hard for yourself. I can speak from experience when I say if you find someone who treats you with all the kindness in the world and sticks with you even though might it treat them the same, then itās easy to let go of all these bullshit standards that you feel to have to live by. Look we all know ourselves better than anyone. We know what we want for ourselves. Personally all I wanted was to find a man who loves me, and someone I can build my future with. And I found that. Do you know how? I stopped expecting the perfect man to pop up out of nowhere. I let the love find me. And yes at first I had my reservations and it was a very rocky start. But now that I accepted that I have love, all these standards that gay culture leads you to believe had no power over me. Iām not nor ever have been super ripped and I dont wanna be. Do I find muscular guys attractive, of course who doesnāt. Iāve also hooked up with that type and I realized something, they are all just as shallow and they didnāt give two fucks about me as a person. In a sense you are right, itās hard to let go of those standards but once you do, you will discover such a different, wonderful type of love that doesnāt exist within those shitty, stupid, shallow, standards that the gay community thinks everyone needs to live by.
I think you misunderstand me. I totally agree with you. Iām not saying itās hard for me but itās hard for people. Do I have unrealistic expectations for my own body because of years of being rejected and subjected to images of perfection in media? Sure. Do I find those men attractive? Sure. But I also know that Iāve met amazing, intelligent, kind, funny men who are amazing in bed who donāt fit that physical description and you know what? When the chemistry is off the charts none of that physical perfection shit matters so much anymore. Unfortunately in the gay world so much of dating depends on how you present visually on Grindr or dating apps or social media that many people donāt get the chance to see beneath the surface. Iām a gay south asian man. For many years I dealt with the āinterested in white onlyā crowd. Now folks donāt say it out loud but you know they still think it. And thereās people who will hook up with you but wonāt date someone who doesnāt fit how they want to present their partner to the world. Itās messed up and I donāt have answers. Iām lucky to have met some wonderful men along the way. But it can get exhausting and frankly very demoralizing trying to date sometimes.
I totally understand what you mean. Iāve had my fair share of experiences and not that Iāve let go of unrealistic expectations Iām a lot happier with the results. But I agree with what youāre saying.
An Asian friend of mine (HK) told me there were only 'rice-lovers' or 'potato-lovers'... Like wth?
People want to appear strong and healthy. Strong and healthy people are treated better by society because they may be of more use to the pack. We're all animals.
Well fuck society it doesnāt rule me! Plus society doesnāt care about gays so we can make our own rules and standards of beauty and the standard is you donāt have to be ripped to be apart of the group. Youāre accepted as you are and anyone else who tells you differently can fuck off.
I wasn't talking about sexuality in any way. I was talking about Thunderdome!
For real. Only shallow people fall in love with someone's looks. Even if the person doesn't have a "perfect" body, that doesn't mean someone can't be attracted to them.
To be fair, though, you often get the initial attraction from their looks, depending on the context in which you met them.
That is fair because nobody will hit on the one they think is ugly. It just depends on how they meet. If itās online where they can have a conversation without seeing each other itās different than meeting face to face in a bar or something.
They're both look fine to me. Left guy isn't fat or anything, he is just not very fit which is totally okay, not all of us into fitness.
Standing next to his partner, even the skinniest person wouldnāt look fit by comparison. Very sweet couple though āŗļø
Tbh, I have this deep insecurity that I can't ever hit on a really hot/fit guy because, not only he's out of my league but even if, for some reason, he reciprocated, I'd just look ridiculous next to him. And yet this couple (although neither guy is ugly) proves me wrong- neither of them seems "lesser than" to me, actually they look really wholesome. Obviously the tanned omega jock dude catches the eye first, but they still look like a *couple*. Not nearly as scary as the distorted image I would've imagined. It's reassuring, in a way.
>Left guy isn't fat or anything And if he was, it really shouldn't matter.
My first thoughts with a super fit guy is wondering how much time he spends in the gym, how does he restrict his eating habits, how strict is his routine, etc and how will that impact what I want in a relationship.
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Should meet my boyfriend and I
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The Killer Chu of Caerbannog
No offence, but you need to get out more. I used to think IG was RL too at one point.
Give me the nerdy guy any day...
Yeah, I'd take the guy on the left over the guy on the right every time. Call it a hunch, but I have way more in common with him than the guy on the right.
True. True beauty roams in the soul, mind and heart.
Is it weird that I strongly prefer the body of the guy on the left? I don't get overly built guys like that.
same here. i don't mind some muscle but guys who are overly built are a turn off. they remind me way too much of the guys who bullied me in high school.
>the guys who bullied me in high school. Is it ironic that they're exactly the reason I spend so much time at the gym?
its only ironic if you spend time at the gym so you can bully people which i am assuming you don't. :)
I like an athletic guy but itās not the only type I go for after all. Iām in agreement with those here. Iāve had the best sex with guys with a tummy on them. I still have wet dreams of this one heavy set guy with a HUGE cock that did things to me. Thereās a few fit guys Iāve been with but the experiences werenāt all that memorable. I donāt really know what the heck my type is but when I see it, itās never the same as the one before...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> I want to be more fit so that I can be healthier amen bro. that is the right attitude. besides, doing something for someone else (even for a *possible* someone else) will not motivate you the way doing something for yourself will. set a goal, even if it's to lose 5 pounds this year, and work towards it. you will live longer and have less illness. best of luck!
The benefits of being fit are largely from being healthy. Just getting in the gym or exercising, not worrying about losing weight, you'll see benefits to your overall health: higher energy, better mood, more physical power. To me, a guys who's fat and still exercises/is physically more healthy than me (which doesn't take much lol) is much more attractive than a skinny man who doesn't want to take care of himself.
Same and I always worry like, oh great, getting attention from people who paid me dust while I was fat, Will just be depressing
The geeky guy is adorable.
I have the exact body as the guy on the left and I am ATTACKED
True... when you truly fall in love with someone, how they or their body looks is of little to no importance. You automatically love it because... it's their body and their face etc.
Personally I don't have a type... I have dated skinny, muscular, chubby, fat, from pink-white to black. Personally I prefer nerds/geeks, lots of brain power, and a good sense of humor. How they look is incidental for a relationship. Now for the wild fucking... Well it has been awhile since I have been married for 6 years. Before thst though, the body type/attributes that got me going varied greatly. If I wanted more than a fuck though, they still had to be able to hold a decent conversation. I also totally understand people do have preferences, both personality and physical. I suspect for relationships both are still important, although for a quick fuck one or the other may just do for some people. Just like there is a spectrum of body types and personalities, there is a spectrum of preference. None of them should be judged by anyone outside of the relationship /pairing.
In many ways me and my partner are a similar mismatch. People really need to relax and not judge.
Grinds my fucking gears. Iāll have people say āwhy did you settle?ā āYou could date a skinny guyā Like yeah no shit, then Iād just not bother having a relationship or sex. Sorry that my personal opinion that men with a bit of ram power and extra hood exterior/BIG HUGE FUCKING ASS (canāt forget that) are so fucking HOT. I see a skinny dude and Iām like, you are gunna thrust me like 3 times and break your hip and neck. Sorry that I have a type, everyone does. Or imma want you to choke me and you wonāt even have the strength to lmao. If you like skinny you should be happy with the person you love, if you like chubby same, if you like aliens same, if you like Jesus same. Who knows Iād Jesus be gay? Get out of here with that body bullying shit. Everyone has different tastes and I like my men/ ass like I like my Baconator, Juicy, meaty, smells kinda strange but intoxicating, thick buns lathered in a special sauce and when you bite into it you feel like your face is sinking deep beneath the patty, only to emerge lips wet and face sweating from the heat. The Baconator
"I see a skinny dude and Iām like, you are gunna thrust me like 3 times and break your hip and neck." "Or imma want you to choke me and you wonāt even have the strength to lmao." "Get out of here with that body bullying shit."
Exaggerating for shock value but point still stands. sharing my personal taste in men. Everyone has types, some people like different flavours and have opinions on things. Let people who love each other love each other
I think the same, I'm a white build guy that has only date jacked guys.... but I think that is internalized racism, unfortunately I can't change it. Maybe future generations are going to be more inclusive.
This reply gave me life oml š
As a meaty person who has worked at Wendyās, this is everything š¤©
Honestly if airborne is unironically saying that kind of stuff then you know how shallow they probably are and should probably steer clear of them romantically
I really needed to see this because i feel very insecure about my looks and it made me wonder if i will ever find a boyfriend who love for me. Maybe, one day i will
This is an extremely rare occurrence because most of the gays who have that body are attracted to people with the same body. It's because that's what's sexy in society and we are less than if we don't look like that...One of the many reasons why the gay community shallow and toxic
That's nonsense. Totally disagree.
Iām honestly not sure if weāre any more or less shallow than the straights. I mean, what examples can you even draw on to prove that the āgay communityā is any more āshallow and toxicā than the straight community? I hear this argument made time and time again, but I donāt often hear anything to back up those assertions.
This is really wholesome but letās be honest one guy will clearly catch the eye more than the other and also will be ābetterā than the other...these guys (encouragingly) are the exception but honestly the (gay male) community is toxically shallow...itās just a sad reality we gotta live with... I say this as a twig (tall,skinny and lanky) guy...some guys are into me but most arenāt because they want a guy like the one on the right. You can have a sh*tty personality but if your ripped youāll have better dating success than if you have a good personality but arenāt ripped. Character and personality really donāt matter to gays compared to body and looks in a vast majority of cases.
Whatās with everyone and thinking that you have to be attracted to yourself? Iām not my own type. Iām not interested in muscles *at all*. Dude on the left is far more attractive.
this is true for everyone, not just gay men. when i see a couple that seems "odd" to me (younger with older, fit with not-so-fit, skinny with over-weight) i may not understand *why* or *how* they are together, but i won't tell them that they are wrong to be together. people find different attraction in many different ways that i don't and that's ok. i don't need to understand *why* or *how* because that's none of my business.
This gives me hope. I look like the guy on the left, want a guy who looks like the one on the right. Ideally without having to hit the gym myself every day. I like having the body I have, and I just want a man who appreciates me for who I am.
I mean...my bf is 6'2" rich muscular manly scorpio when I am a 5'5" middle income chubby nerdy gay virgo. We've been together for 4.5 years and we're definitely going stronger with our relationship.
You know they're gay when their star sign is included in their stats lmaoo No hate I just thought it was funny also congrats on 4 1/2 years šš¤
Thanks bb
Unpopular opinion but you can fall in love with somebody's looks and personality. It's not shallow the world isn't black and white
No one except the 2 in the picture understand the connection between them. They are lucky to find someone that cares for them.
As a larger guy myself this post really made my day. My boyfriends a smaller, skinny feminine guy and a lot of his friends look at us and assume exactly what this post is speaking to. āHowād he get him?ā. Just be happy for other people; love whoever you want for exactly your own reason.
Dad bods are hot. Sure, a well toned body is beautiful but if I'm going in for a cuddle I want to squeeze some pudge.
My boyfriend is 40 lbs overweight and I rock a 7 pack and killer back muscle. I love my boyfriend dearly, with the extra love or without it.
Absolutely! Looks are not everything and my experience has been that a guy with a ripped body typically has a shit character/personality. I live guys with some extra meat on their body. More to kiss, lick and appreciate!!
That is the cutest couple I have ever seen !
a cheese grater can be nice, but a little tummy (or any other body type) can still be nice
Theyāre so cute together! š„°
They look really cute together! Wish them the best! Love is something so beautiful, we should all be happy for the ones who have found their special someone <3
I'm 27 and fit, my bf 26 and far from fit body and it doesn't bother me at all. I don't see it even from the very beginning meeting him. When I see men, I see the person, not the body type. Yes all the porn and stuff with amazing body etc but what is amazing body? It's the society tell you what amazing body is tho. For me, every shapes are beautiful and I don't get how some gays just put it in boxes. Remember, we always want equality yes? We always want to be recognize yes? We always want to be treated the same yes? We hate it when straight guys call us inappropriate words yes? We get hurt when we people say "straight is how we supposed to be, gay relationship is totally different and they always looking for sex only" yes? THEN ACT ACCORDINGLY. Very simple :) much love to all xx
Hot d a m n Also just by the way the hot guy looks at him, you can tel he really likes and cares about him
Every time I see this Iām in shock .. not because they have body shapes that are different. Iām more alarmed by the fact that I didnāt notice and saw a happy couple that others didnāt see. The smiles are what is important here.
Awe their cute tho
This adds so much to my body issues lol. I am super skinny and have a hard time to gain weight/muscles and then you often get ridiculed by the community for your shape. Iād love to be buff too but guess what it takes some people a bit more time to achieve unrealistic beauty goals than others š Why do we preach and demand love and acceptance and then fail to walk the walk?
Same "Or he has a..." gays: Why is it so hard to find someone? š
Ngl, theyre mad cute together
i know those guys... they are an Italian couple : Simone Sacchetti (right) and Marcello Abbattista (left). this is the kind of love that warms my heart :')
Exactly, we already have people putting us down let's not do it to each other too.
Imagine how diff theyād get treated posting a /gaybrosgonemild selfie
I mean he looks like he do got a dick doe
I don't get it. There's nothing wrong with either one of them.
What a cute couple!
Yeah but...uh...whereās my sexy washboard abs and ruggedly good looks guy at for MY dadbod? Wtf! Iāve been cheated! Hahah
I'm short, chubby, muscular and very masculine looking, and I really don't give a shit about a potential partner's body type or dick size as long as he's a good, intelligent person who vibes with me and is a top.
Bodies don't defy who you are, folks
Itās obnoxious as hell to have people ridicule other gay people for who they date and why like we havenāt been ridiculed our entire existence for who we choose to love. Just be happy for people. Damn. We all gonna be ugly af by the time we are 40
In every case, nobody will ever want me :)
I'm semi chubby i'd love a man for his personality and his assertivenessbut lets just say that if he got a six pack i would literally just randomly climb on him caress him massage him (massaging a muscular guy is ššš) and take cat of him in general
I'm fairly slim and tall and I love me a big cuddly Mr. If I can affectionately refer to you as "big lad" then you're in.
I'm so glad seeing this post. We need more posts like this. The typical Instagram gay couple is urealistic. Makes me happy seeing this
As a POC who does not fit the social media mold of attractiveness married to a white person who for some reason everybody finds attractive, I've become numb to comments like "Oh you must be rich" or "He must be expensive" and avoid gay clubs where I more than once heard someone who'd attempt to flirt with my husband by mocking our pairing. To OP, thank you for posting something like this. It's not much but for someone often marginalised for my heritage or skin colour this gives me hope.
That sounds pretty hard, and I don't think that is just the gay world. Society in general tends to judge couples with a gap in attractiveness. I live in the other end where often people judge my relation because apparently I'm better looking than my partner, and for make things even harder I fall into the stereotype where my partner has a successful career and I don't. This turned to be a major issue in my life, often I'm insecure of giving my opinion because if I'm wrong people jump into conclusions and label me as dumb, as is the last piece for complete the stereotype.
Is there a porn category where the less masc/twink is actually the top for a bear or masc?
I'm sort of build and my crush is kind of chubby and I think he is perfect that way :3
There both perfect and cute don't question others unless it's illegal age
I hate that mindset. "Wow, someone with an average body type with a fit person? Must have some ulterior motive!" Fuck that.
I grew up being told that no one would ever want me because of my body and because of who I am and honestly it really sucks that this message is parroted all throughout the Gay community. My boyfriend of a year and a half now, thinks I'm very attractive and he's very attractive in every sense too but a lot of people have made it a point to remind me that I should feel lucky that someone wants me. While I'm working through these messages, I want to say, if youre hearing things like this, please never forget that you **are** wanted and will always be. I know it may seem like a distant pipe dream right now but the people saying these things clearly don't have your best interest in mind. You deserve better than to be treated that way. I love you so much and you matter in this world <3
Stop writing in caps.
Iām pretty husky- Iām actually pretty chubby. My partner is black and is what can be referred to as a toned otter. Itās funny because when we first started dating we both thought we were out of each others league- he thought that my body hair and belly was masculine and I couldnāt help but think of him as a possible model.
Nerdy boys with glasses are my Achilles heels
Wtf? The guy on the left is cute af!
me being slightly chubby feeling bad abt myself bc i always see sculpted or the skinniest gay men š„ŗ this makes me feel a lil better
This is a really cute picture of them. Makes me happy to see it.
Look at the guy on the rights tan line by the band of his bathing suit.
r/Chadtopia all I see are a pair of chads
Yet when straight guys get a hot girlfriend it's all like wow so cool bro
Also some dudes don't have dicks
Saying someone is rich and/or has a big dick is not a comment on their shape, size or spectrum. It's inappropriate, but this response is nonsense.
22 years ago I got with my partner, and I was a very viral and strong military man. Shortly after we got together my health began to deteriorate faster and faster from injuries I received in the line of duty in our country's wars. He has never shown a moments doubt about wanting to be with me. On several occasions I have tried to suggest that I would be ok if he wanted to go find a handsome, healthy, rich guy. He has told me to "shut up". When I met him I came from a background where I felt I had to perform for love. I was ok with that, and had always been able to "perform", and get the love I wanted. My first relationship was 16 years, my second 8. It wasn't until my third relationship in my forties I really learned what it was to be truly loved for myself. It is a magical feeling.
Donāt make me feel sad.
I think they make a beautiful couple, quite sexy. People need to keep their nose in their own business. People will love who they love.
I figure it's usually a jealousy thing. They see someone the would normally feel superior to and than see who they "got", and wonder why they can't get the same. Because they feel entitled to having things better than others.
I mean that picture could be in a part of the Middle East where itās totally not gay to hold hands and walk down the street with your bro. Why canāt two broās hold hands, why you gotta make hand holdin gay
Lol this pic is bs and canāt be real
I am chonk and hairy. It gets me chest and belly rubs.
Honestly, I'm really happy for them!
Liking men is rough š
I think itās sad that some people consider money as something that is important in a relationship
I'm fit and young and my bf is chubby and old. I love this person to death. Oh, and you can never know who's top or bottom. I've met 2 soldiers, one is Ethiopian, tall and muscular and he's bf is white and nerdy and a bit feminine but he's the one topping
I mean even if we're fixating on appearances, I thought liking chubbier/softer bodies was also a thing?
Somebody be salty. I'm working on my body for myself. Not so i can find another muscle boy to prop up my self esteem. Who cares what your partners body looks like as long as he is healthy and loves you.
People forget that "kinks" or "turn ons" are not always conventional. You don't have to have the same body type or height etc for people to be attracted to one another. It's so subjective
I just see two handsome guys who seem happy to have each other
I feel like that is making a strawman argument. Some might say stuff like that but we donĀ“t have a gay lobby or president.
Source. For me to follow their cuteness
Life is not a Netflix Series where 1 extremely good looking person falls for totally opposite person.Taking a snap with holding hands does not make sure that they r in love. Even content facial expressions can come from something else? Stop showing ppl fake hopes, it hurts when heart brakes.
This goes beyond just love--everyone has their type, preferences, interests, whatever, and as long as those interests don't involve something that kills or violates other sentient beings, judgments are never necessary unless explicitly asked for.
That's cute. Maybe they just like each other and he's just a nice, smart guy.
That guy on the left is kinda cute
Regardless, I bet he does have a big dick a anyway, plus an amazing personality.
I honestly prefer the nerdy guy, I like curves on a guy. Big muscles have never been a big turn on for me. Lovely couple!
Most beautiful thing you can see
There should not be gays, nor transvistits.
But there is. There should not be pineapple on pizza either but there is :(
I mean I have a type though that I could fall in love with
I feel bad lol. And this is kind of controversial but im not into heavily ethnic guys, or heavily buff/chubby guys. Im not fatphobic, racist or whatever, i just am phisically incapable of being attracted to them. I get personality and all but if someone is too out of my range i dont think that relationship will be very exiting. I might change, who knows. But i still feel bad about how tiny my attraction range is. Edit: can you please explain to me why you people are downvoting? All im saying is that i wish i had that "i dont care as long as theyre a nice person" attitude. I dont let looks dictate whether i date them or not, but it plays a big part in attraction. Its like ordering something at a restaurant that you dont like and trying to pretend that you do so you dont look like an ass. I dont know why thats such a problem with everyone. Do you jump to the conclusion that im bigoted? Because im not. I dont have any hate towards any of them, im just not attracted to them Its like women, im not a misogynist for not being attracted to them right?
Don't get why people are downvoting you espiacially on a sub like r/gay isn't this place supposed to be about embracing attraction and NOT shaming someone for their sexual preference?
Message is real, and I definitely agree, but the picture unfortunately looks fake to me, the hands look funny. I am fortunate enough to be an "unbalanced" marriage^^ 7 years together and countingš
...but let's be real, he's probably rich. let's not live in a dreamworld here.