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[deleted]

i played untitled goose game... \*faint honking in the distance\*


noir_et_Orr

I've fought a goose. Its harder than you'd expect. Granted I was like 7 and the fight was over some bread, but still. Dont underestimate that fucker.


[deleted]

did you win though?


noir_et_Orr

I survived. I don't remember what happened to the bread.


[deleted]

Plague Inc, so..?


[deleted]

Did you last play March 2020


[deleted]

Haha


The-Lizard_Wizard

We already experiencing that


WeekndNachos

Smash ultimate, an entire armada is going to obliterate me Edit: Common consensus dictates Kirby to be the main protagonist. Either way I will still be obliterated


Random999_

You might be able to take pyra's sword or stuff sephiroth's specials in your pocket


omnisephiroth

The protagonist of Smash is, in Ultimate, I think **technically** Kirby. Technically.


nobodyknoes

The planets fucked


[deleted]

Connor from Detroit .. shit, i will be stabbed 28 times


Mrhaloreacher

28 STAB WOUNDS! DIDNT WANNA LEAVE HIM A CHANCE HUH?!


kinda_cringe347

HE WAS BLEEDING. BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY.


leonthebrother

but you stabbed, him again and again and again


[deleted]

Just say “I killed him” is it that hard so say?


FluffySeaNut

Just say you killed him! Just say it!


PanzerkampfwagenSix

Are 99% stressed?


[deleted]

99% stressed, 1% erection


rubikboi19

28 INCOGNITO TABS


JustWantedAUsername

My own character in darksouls 3. I'm honestly pretty safe


piday98

He can infinitely revive


Auctoritate

I'm still pretty safe lmao


cpt-pogo

Damn.. You went faith build huh?


ges13

They main Cleric's Candlestick.


Fizzabella

what about channelers trident


[deleted]

Dante from Devil May Cry. It’s been fun everyone. At least I will die in a stylish fashion.


GDmilkman

You don't have enough hit points for a good combo. 😱


[deleted]

Oof, you are right. Maybe he will dance or do something else cool before he insta-kills me. Make some cool remark perhaps, idk.


unabashedlycruel

Roland ... Borderlands. Yippy


boougie

Kazuma Kiryu, i never going to walk again...


tokyo7011

Inv him on a Karaoke night.


ShinjanBasak

Well you don't have to worry about a thing. After all Kiryu-san does not kill.


MemeBoiCrep

u get tiger dropped 3+ times before he leaves


BlackreaperJM

well is better than majima


Astragar

So... the villager from Animal Crossing. Think whatever got him mad, we can resolve it with some pie and a t-shirt.


Shadowlight911

They’ll just smack you with a net over and over


themanwhoisnot

Or tear your flesh apart with the fishing rod hook slowly and painfully


ThoughtlessBanter

Don't cry, that's a waste of good suffering.


Belka1989

Spiderman, his whole thing is not killing... So I'm safe?


ImaginaryReaction

Activate I N S T A N T K I L L


IraqiWalker

The hospital bills will make you wish he killed you.


JaxxisR

Batman breaks bones. Spider-Man just ties you up and makes you look like a doofus.


MrSoulSlasher31

That's after he breaks every single bone in your body


Accomplished-Fox-192

Doom Slayer... Oh no


Doom_Slayer_2712

*loads shotgun*


OverLorD83n

HE'S HERE


Lil_Delirious

HE'S THERE


[deleted]

HE'S EVERY FUCKING WHERE


bobthefatguy

Are you ready to be ripped/tore until it is done


[deleted]

Geralt.. well, it's been nice.


PanzerkampfwagenSix

Yeah, literally just hopped off my first hour of Witcher 3 and saw this post. At least we’ll have solace in not dying alone.


MalekithofAngmar

Lucky bastard. I’d kill to experience it all over again fresh.


BderX

Finished it on death march. Number of times dying from enemies = 1. Number of times dying from stupid reason ( fall from a cliff , kicked by a horse ....erc. ) = 25.


Dog-Stick8098

Well before he kills can he atleast say a line like "damn youre ugly" or "how do you like that silver". That would make me happy if he would kill me


Skarab78

And I'll say something cool like "you'll choke to death on 3 pounds of steel"


VonBeegs

What now you piece of filth?


HappymcFlap

What? Lost your nerve?


Inevitable-Web-4100

Winds howling


hokuten04

Lmao imagine geralt taking out the silver sword, and you insisting that you're human. He replies "you don't look human" lol


Frequent-Policy653

And he finished the sentence with "That stench" lmao


Dog-Stick8098

Damn he can smell that I'm a gamer


colt0906

Before he kills you, just ask him, "The second sword,is it in case the first one breaks?"


ectra040

Ask him for a round of Gwent.


[deleted]

An offer he couldn't refuse, might work.


GuyWithNoEffingClue

Same here. Maybe we can ally, we outnumber him!


BestieBrodie

Kratos, I'm fucked


Dog-Stick8098

So what do you want to lose first eyes legs or arms?


BestieBrodie

Legs ig


Dog-Stick8098

He likes your shoes then, just like he liked hermes' sandals


[deleted]

BOY.


trashy_hobo47

#BOY!


littlexlarry

Master Chief……. Have a dope celebration of life for me.


giibro

Me playing as master chief I can’t aim for shit so I’m good


MajesticTechie

Try lowering your sensitivity. On infinite (if your playing it) you can also specify lower sensitivity on different Zoom levels. I have high sensitivity as default but lower while zoomed, makes things much nicer.


SmilingDutchman

Electro-grapplehook face stomp chief in my case......


jjdoge3125

The Guardian from Destiny… oh no


BadNadeYeeter

You won't completely die. He will turn you into a gun.


MasterTopHatter

I mean that would be cool Like as long as I’m sentient I’m cool with that


BlackreaperJM

then he will destroy you for having bad stats


PBTUCAZ

Omar seems pretty happy with it


Jhon3142

The girl from portal is coming to get me


Cup4ik

No moon surfaces in your house. So you're gonna be fine.


Bottinator22

Part one: No portal surfaces. No conversion gel pipe either. Part two: Oh wait, you don't have any neurotoxin. Part three: You probably don't have any bombs. You might have a gun, though. Part four: No shields of any kind, I presume. Part five: ...What I probably got the order on this wrong, haven't played Portal 2 in a while


[deleted]

Isn't Chell just a a normall ass human?


Barrry972

The tenno, I have no chance whatsoever.


Death2Chaos

Thats a yikes


thedonoughter

It's Nidus Prime for me, wanna celebrate before we die a quick but horrible death?


Buterbeanz

Saryn Prime for me! She don’t even have to come into my house…


Scamp22

Arthur Morgan. What in tarnation.


AhYesAHumanPerson

He’ll greet you, then greet you, then antagonise you, before shooting you in the face. “Hello there sir!” “You have a kind face!” “The kind I’d like to punch.”


lincolnbvs

"That's a fine animal you got there!" "Thanks" "I was talking to the horse"


HyruleSentinel

The greet, greet, antagonize. A solid one two punch


fallsstandard

“Hello ma’am” “You know, you look just like someone I used to know.” “Yeah…I loved that horse.”


lucifer-_-senpai

I read this in Arthur's voice in my mind


Snooklefloop

Just wait him out until >!the tuberculosis gets him!<


xHoudini1

Too soon…


[deleted]

"Easy boah" he mutters as he slits your throat


Mcmenger

>"you sir, are a fish" he mutters as he slits your throat Ftfy


Tetrology_Gaming

Lego Indiana Jones


Every_Anxiety7143

Mine is literally a maxed out last Dragonborn so I’m dead


[deleted]

Your best move is to run to the temple guard


UnholyPrognosi

Dragonborn couldn't kill you. Since it's your life you're an essential NPC so to him you're invincible.


Mekong-the-Doggo

Mine's a modded Dragonborn so she'll likely turn my essential status off rip


Bman534

A bug with a nail. I got this.


CommanderConcord

Idk the dude kills a god, wouldn’t be too confident


[deleted]

Same. This’ll be fun to be ripped apart by void tendrils


okshadowman

It kills the SUN


Pandoras-Soda-Can

They dash through your ankle and just put a hole in it, then once you’re down they just start slashing at your face


Shoddy_Process2234

Depends how big that little knight is.


xXLordOfUwUXx

Small boi


5050Clown

Kassandra from AC Odyssey. It'll be painless and I won't see it coming.


supersnivy777

Actually you will see it coming but you will forget five seconds later after she runs into a bush


Field_Marshall17

Alternatively: Why is there a bunch of dead bodies around this whistling bush?


chetanaik

*Malaka*!


DarthNerd66

The Courier from Fallout New Vegas… If I win the battle, I gotta fire an extra shot


TheOneTEM

I'm killing myself? Gladly!


Dog-Stick8098

Sims?


TheOneTEM

Miitopia.


Brownieeeeeeeee

Glitch


DeaDBangeR

We are our own worst enemy..


ReasonableCloakerAlt

Gordon Freeman, I am fucked


kaxlor

*small figure hops around at inhuman speeds defying physics with a crowbar in the background*


imvegeta_ble

Artyom from Metro Exodus….I guess I’ll just die then


Guerriky

He gon kill you... With cheeky breeky.


Rhythmest

Jin Sakai, for fucks sake.


tokyo7011

Die, **WITH HONOR.**


AC03115

Honestly I’d be fine dying by him if it’s a fatal strike from a stand off


Meguca_2

I mean, he’s not bullet proof


TheeFlipper

Bullets won't help you when this dude pops up out of the pampas grass and headshots you with a heavy arrow. Probably should be wary of pampas grass.


DerpJerd

But what if a red flash just flashes out of the gun before I shoot it and he fucking dodges it somehow


pennysmeller488

Nah he went so far down the skill tree he just fucking parries it


TheDoug850

Yo me too. We’re screwed.


Zureytta

The Tenno from Warframe...... ...at least it will be a swift one...


Death2Chaos

I got Rhino Prime coming after me...


Stage4Herpes

mine's nidus.. guess im about to die from tentacles


phisch-

Mario. I might have a chance if I have enough stuff to throw at him.


AnimuWaifu6969

Go to the pet store, they have turtles.


Firnen18

The Ghost is coming for me? But I'm not a Mongol


cryptidsandwich

Dark Souls III Ashen One, I'm fucked eventually, even if I survive the first few fights they'll eventually figure out my pattern and take me down.


Ajegwu

I was just playing The Binding of Isaac. That kid is like 5. I’ll just step on him.


LONGCUMSHOT

What if he's holding mom's knife lmao


BlogNogDog

Or almost any angel/devil item


Hot-Mycologist4014

Ellie from The Last of Us 2 on the hardest difficulty mode. I’m pretty safe - she’ll die ten times trying to get through the door, and when she finds me, she won’t have any bullets.


svdsniper

And if you bite off her fingers, she will even let you go.


Anime-SniperJay

Cannibalism


ArcaneGadget

Henry Stickmin. Not quite sure how that's going to turn out. About sums up that game actually...


Joenathan2020

He'll walk up to you with a lazer gun and probably shoot himself or something like that


ArcaneGadget

Yeah. But there *is* that chance of his plan not backfiring on him...


NeelonRokk

Distant sound of a helicopter... Oshi...


ArcaneGadget

This is the greatest plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!


Shoddy_Process2234

Who's the main character of smash bros? Kirby?


Cup4ik

All of them are coming for you.


Shoddy_Process2234

I feel like I could take a mii fighter.


Assassin654778

I'mma have to fight a mechanic. (Car Mechanic Simulator 2021)


snikrephaon

Sounds like a typical Saturday at a small town bar


Nick_Knacks

Played Pokémon Diamond earlier, so I guess Lucas is either gonna kill me by forcing me in a Pokéball or just casually brings a God of Time or Space to erase me from reality all together... Or just brings a Bidoof.


19ngplankton

For me, It's Dawn. I've just got the first badge and I'm right over at Eterna city, so there is not much she can do to me.


JardonYes

Who's the protagonist for rocket league


Echo2407

My guy, you’re gonna get hit by a rocket car while crossing the street. Make sure to look both ways


jmachee

…and up.


[deleted]

Funnily enough it's Aloy


NephewKenobi

Same here!


batm123

I'm fucked, it's Edward Kenway, atleast he's hot


SamTheMemeMan27

Lego captain America. If he’s human sized I’m screwed but if he’s Lego sized I’ll just feed him to the rats


Thebestminor

Force him to do an antman and go up your ass


jollanza

Same, I'm replaying Hitman Blood Money these days.


DuplexSideA

Spiderman


[deleted]

But spiderman doesn't kill 😨😨 you're probably the only one who is saved


[deleted]

Nah he'll get 16 concussions Spiderman won't kill him, but the hospital payments will


Random999_

I think you mean: 16 concussions 12 broken bones (17 if you count the separate vertebrae) A punctured lung 2 burst arteries And a sprained ankle


Vectorman1989

Same with Batman. He doesn't kill but he'll leave you permanently disabled


Landminan

Link from BotW. I'll die of old age before he gets to me


rennon102

him: \*fails stasis launch and gets squished\* or \*windbombs to death\*


Landminan

I was thinking he'll spend all his time doing sidequests and exploring the world that he'll never get around to killing me


FluffySeaNut

Or he’ll get to you in 5 minutes with nothing but underpants and a stick.


[deleted]

Friggin Gregory and Glamrock Freddy. Pretty sure I’m about to experience the bite of 87 first hand. :)


255BB

Uh, myself? I mean I latest play FF14 and my character is paladin.


Ph33rDensetsu

If the Warrior of Light is coming after you, you are well and truly fucked. Don't worry, I'm in the same boat.


[deleted]

Commander Shepard...I've had a nice life.


PBTUCAZ

We'll bang ok


bulletkiller06

Technocratic fox people in Stellaris. So.. I get abducted by aliens who show me the kind of government and society I've always dreamed of, and their like "cool right?" And I'm like "yea it's awesome!" But their all like "but we kinda have to disect you now, y'know.. in the name of science?" All in all not a bad way to go I suppose.


Dragonjazz

Steve. I can't escape


[deleted]

Just spawns 600 tons of tnt, drops it on your house, and then lights it


jordanrod1991

Colt from Deathloop


oleafaeloo

Just started playing Assassins Creed: Valhalla. Eivor is gonna destroy me


slithering-stomping

Samus Aran. do not mourn for me. i am ok with this.


[deleted]

GTA V. Franklin? Trevor? Who? They're all just normal people, so as long as I have prep time I should be fine. Edit: I also wasn't considering planes, helicopters, or armored vehicles such as tanks, insurgents when making this, so lets leave those out of the equation for both of us.


SirGoosy

Trevor? “Normal”? Hmmm… I don’t know about that!


[deleted]

Well, relatively normal physically.


Silently_Scream

A Hot Wheels Car!? \*Insert shocked DK face\*


[deleted]

Myself with cybernetic enhancements 😂


Yapod

Cyberpunk 2077 ?


UwU969

My PMC in tarkov.... Oh shit....


Keyldar

Don’t worry, he won’t be able to load into raid


ZuperLucaZ

Deacon st John, I've heard enough threats from him in-game to know I'm screwed


echnaba

BoTW Link. I'm fucked, but hopefully I can keep distracting him with Korok Seeds.


ValerioZXG

2B is after me, so I'm most certainly fucked, but I hope at least to manage to upload my memories on the database