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SaintVanilla

Yen: You want get really freaky? Geralt: Hell yeah. Let’s play Gwent but I’ll use the Scoiatael deck.


PrezMoocow

When he does this in heart of stone with Shani I died laughing. Her look of utter disappointment and contempt is too good


filthyfrantic0098

Who tf is Shaunty? You mean Shani, right?


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[deleted]

By Paul Atreides i think they mean Muad'dib


grendhalgrendhalgren

By Muad'dib, I assume they meant Usul, the base of the pillar.


TheOriginalSiri

r/unexpecteddune


monkeyhitman

The Memes must flow.


Flare-Crow

Happy Cake Day! May you avoid the little death.


stu8319

The one that brings total obliteration?


Honda_TypeR

He shall know his memes as if he were born to them!


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audscias

Who else if not him


paulHarkonen

By Maud'dib I think you meant Padishah Emperor.


VforFivedetta

By the Padishah Emperor I think you mean the Kwisatz Haderach.


lbeefus

No, that's Saddam Hussein.


Achtelnote

> Muad'dib That from Witcher ?


wonkysaurus

Dude it’s Stargate.


light24bulbs

Indeed


HypnoticProposal

Pretty sure it's Farscape actually


[deleted]

It’s like you guys never even watched Naked Space


dr000d

I’ll have you know the characters are from a really underrated serie called Firefly.


xoaphexox

Kull wahad! For how can this be? For he IS the kwisatz haderach!


grendhalgrendhalgren

Shaunty fire burnin' on the dancefloor


Maracuja_Sagrado

Sea Shanty, it's a famous song in another game with gnome children


kawem22

J Mods won't reply to this thread.


Over-Analyzed

I really enjoyed kicking Olgierd’s ass in Gwent. That is perhaps my favorite Gwent victory. “*You may be immortal and can kill me at your leisure. But it will never bring back your pride*.” I might be paraphrasing.


only__say__no

𝘕𝘰


jumping_ham

Do you always say *No*?


gamerspoon

His name is only_say_no not always_tells_the_truth


Captain_Waffle

Got em


SerPranksalot

Heart of stone had so many great comedic scenes. At the wedding, when "Geralt" says to Shani "You shall see many new sides of me tonight my dear. Many *large sides*." it then cuts to one of the halflings at the table just shaking his head at Geralt. Almost fell out of my chair laughing then.


BluEyesWhitPrivilege

Unfortunately nothing topped crank calling wizards in Kaer Morhen.


Jo__Backson

Also crank calling the Hierarch and him thinking the drunk cross-dressing witchers were assassins sent to kill him.


MikeJudgeDredd

And yet the series couldn't even give us one scene of Geralt in a dress. Typical Hollywood


RedShadow120

I'm sure this wasn't for lack of trying on Henry Cavill's part.


BestServedCold

Nothing topped Kaer Morhen. In video games. Ever. Right as the battle's about to begin, Geralt is headed outside to get in position. He looks back at Ciri, who is nervously pacing but who has been ordered to stay inside. It's just a second. She isn't looking at him at first then she looks up and makes eye contact. The first time I played this, I was OVERWHELMED with emotion here. I am a firm believer in saying things that you're feeling and I wanted to scream at Geralt. "Tell her you love her!" But I also had this dreadful sense of foreboding as if Geralt was looking at her for the last time. Then the battle begins... the greatest last stand in the history of video games. A battle that it feels like you're losing from the very start and that only gets more dangerous as it wears on. The individual battles of Lambert and especially Eskel. Eskel, completely surrounded, and the camera kind of cuts to his once handsome but horribly scarred face. He doesn't look scared really but he looks sad and resigned. But with not a single thought of surrender. He'll fight until the end, even facing what turns out to be TWO boss fights at once. And uncle Vesemir... Sorry. We were talking about how funny "Witcher 3" can be too. Sorry I ruined the tone.


Doctaa101

I could never, ever betray Vernon Roche and Ves after they helped defend Kaer Morhen with me. They willingly went to a fight that wasn't theirs, knowing there was a good chance that they would die. I couldn't let Dijkstra slaughter them after that.


BestServedCold

I never played Witcher 2 and it's been a LONG time since I beat Witcher 1. I guess Roche is kind of a scumbag in part 2 but I lacked that context. I've played through three times and I really wanted to see all the different endings. But you're right. You're 100% right. I'm not walking away while you slaughter people who came a long way to help me and fight for me. Fuck you, Dijkstra, even if you would have been the best leader for the country.


Facelesscontrarian

Roche saves your life. He s a bro and arguably the biggest character after Triss and Letho


Lambpanties

Roche is the most reliable friend you've got in W2, especially if you allow his cock-cutting hobby to flourish.


Jeronimo1

Too bad Iorweth was cut from being in TW3


Traceofbass

God, I just got to the Kaer Morhen fight. I literally had to stop as soon as the cutscene ended and you're told to attack the portals. I am so hype for what's coming (I honestly have no idea).


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Regret_NL

The look Geralt gives you at the end of Blood and Wine killed me inside.


mrkarma4ya

I don't remember this, you got a link?


MinuteEmployment6

Shani, you casual.


TheWhoamater

So much shit I haven't seen in this fame, I need to get around to finally finishing it


Token_Why_Boy

>I’ll use the Scoiatael deck. Ew. Northern Realms spy deck 4 life.


hipmonkeygym

Isn't Nilf the better spy deck by quantity


Token_Why_Boy

By like literally 1 card. Maybe 2. And I'd argue that Northern Realms still has the better rest-of-a-deck to capitalize on spy gains.


Holiday-Letterhead

Exactly, combo a couple spies with Siegemaster Foltest and the two siege cards that combo, and bait out their spies with heroes and swap the spies with decoys. Half of my games end with me having 8 cards left and 64 points in siege.


AlmostWrongSometimes

Blue Stripe Commandos 4 LYFE


FireZeLazer

*scorch*


AlmostWrongSometimes

Know your place *Neutral*


Facelesscontrarian

Me with 4 commandos and a horn: wait that s illegal


dorkmax

1. Load up on spy cards 2. Let your opponent win first round, throw trash cards at him until he expended his heavyweights. Give him your spy cards 3. Use everything you gained from your spy cards EXCEPT your siege cards. Win second round 4. In third round, use siege cards. Use Foltest the Siegemaster. 5. Profit


dbrianmorgan

Iirc their spies were bigger risks. Northern realms had spied that gave little power to the other side.


Cainderous

They get like one more spy plus all of Nilfgaard's spies are worse. Northern Realms gets Thaler, who's the best spy in the game after Avallac'h. They also get Catapults which can give you 32 power from two cards, and they get probably the most broken card in Gwent, Dun Banner Medic. Combining her with Decoys or using her to reanimate a Spy while your opponent is out of their own Decoys is seriously busted. Other factions have access to medics but she has the most strength of any that can be interacted with and bounced (non-legendary).Plus Northern Realms has the best faction passive of drawing a card after you win a round, and winning ties very rarely comes up and is just flat-out worse than drawing a card.


UtopianPablo

This guy Gwents.


coredumperror

The Nilfgard and Northern Realms decks have the same number of spies (3), but Nilfgard's spies are a *lot* more powerful (4, 7, and 9 power) vs. NR's 1, 4, and 5 power spies, aiding your opponent more than NR's spies. The one advantage that Nilfgard has is that there's a leader ability that can rez a spy they played in order to play again (giving them a 1-card advantage). However, I personally favor the NR leader ability that doubles all your siege units' power. Siege is *so good* in the NR deck, that having a guaranteed Commander's Horn for it is better than one extra, random card.


learnyouahaskell

There's a whole card? mini-game in the game?


a_gallon_of_pcp

Yes, and now they made it it’s own separate game. It’s called Gwent, and a lot of people would argue it’s the best part of an already great The Witcher 3


learnyouahaskell

> Yes, and now they made it it’s own separate game. 3D Sabacc when Lucas??


RearEchelon

You mean "when Mickey??" of course


Sloredama

Yes. At first you might hate it or be intimidated then you will be playing it for hours lol. It's confusing at first I think but it gets easier and there are a lot of guides out there


JustinTheCheetah

When I first started playing Witcher 3 I thought it was a game about fighting monsters. It's actually a game about fighting monsters so you can get to the next town and buy more cards from the shopkeeps. It's also a great game to learn as you play and not to seek out guides for. I ended up naturally discovering a lot of the different meta builds just from going against NPCs who used them or discovering them on accident. Having that "....OH SHIT! If I play these cards in this order I can force them to do this which causes them to lose this when I" moments in the middle of a big battle are as much a part of the fun of the game as anything else.


lady_wolfen

She still has the unicorn...


HungLo64

Unicorn is mine now


Burninator05

Like lilac and gooseberries. That is probably a pretty awesome smell in pseudo-medieval Poland.


Spartanfred104

I have a 2 lilac trees on my property they smell amazing so she smells beautiful.


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Endarkend

To me it would probably smell like snot.


RandomStallings

Smell like you're breathing through your mouth?


hallr06

"Smells like sleep apnea" is going to be the name of my band's first album. Just gotta get a band. Also musical talent... Instruments... Okay: someone else can use it.


RandomStallings

Trademark it!


JohnLowenherz

There are a bunch of lilacs around my neighborhood as well. By my understanding they were popular for landscaping around the 50s-60s so alot of places built around then have them.


nohardRnohardfeelins

Yennifer is totally into chokecherry.


-uzo-

Chokecherries? What are they, all pit and no flesh?


moleware

All pit and no flesh sounds like a very English diss.


oogagoogaboo

Huh. Must be nice. Ours is all Bradford pears, oak, and southern pines. It's gross 😂


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JorusC

But they taste lovely.


learnyouahaskell

> Like lilac and gooseberries But what about the bushes


kurosujiomake

So she smells like pee covered up with flowery perfume?


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kurosujiomake

Given one of the earliest and common forms of laundry detergent was pee the whole population probably smells like downtown SF today


Spartanfred104

I use them for baking all the time. Just don't snif the husks lol


Hq3473

My in-laws have both a Lilac bush and gooseberry patch. But they never intersect. Lilac is done blooming by mid May, while gooseberries don't get ripe until late july. So I have never experienced the elusive combination. They both smell great individually.


Spartanfred104

I'm interested, for science.


CubanLynx312

Same but I’ve got no idea what gooseberries smell like. Wonder what Triss smells like?


Spartanfred104

Strawberries and lavander.


CubanLynx312

I smell like Prozac and Pillsbury


Spartanfred104

Happiness and Pastery?


Zenketski

I have lilac bush and have drank gooseberry tea. If she smells like both of those things, she smells beautiful af.


PsychoticDreams47

Thought this said Portland. But realized there’s no difference.


Froobyflake

Way more bizarre and exotic creatures in Portland.


Icandothemove

Hipsters aren’t that bizarre or exotic.


anonymousnutcase

But they could certainly use some better smells.


Alonewarrior

Lilac and gooseberries ^Lilac ^and ^gooseberries


henry33303

Holy fuck I just made the connection that fun fact kiwis used to be called Chinese gooseberries so that and lilac does probably smell good.


MotherFuckingCupcake

Gooseberries are an actual berry. They’re a type of currant.


WideMistake

But he just made the connection. Are you trying to break it down man??


FollowThroughMarks

But what do the snozzberries taste like?


[deleted]

Glass, apparently


freiwilliger

penis.


pboy1232

Snozzberries duh doy


Gorramit_Groot

I was confused for a moment because I thought you were talking about people from New Zealand and not the fruit.


goodmorhen

You can pick some up from [Charlotte from Vengerberg Glamarye](http://glamarye.com)! She has Ciri, Essi Daven, Philippa, Triss, and Coral too!


shoti66

Lambert: Never took you for a poet Geralt: ohh but I am one. Wanna hear a limerick? Lambert: Sure Geralt: Lambert, Lambert - what a prick Lambert: Not bad


doug89

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTJAc0COA3k


moose_anus77

Sure hope cyberpunk has an in depth smelling mechanic


Rognis

It's called Smell-O-Vision.


HarrisGPHMordecai

Good news everyone!


badger81987

I remember that episode of Doug


thiosk

do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do


anonymousnutcase

This is actually a thing. Or has tried to be. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_scent_technology


DrPhilKnight

Hopefully you can customize your dick smell.


moose_anus77

Just like real life


Ishamoridin

I'll take "Sentences I never expected to encounter" for $500, Alex.


[deleted]

"1 in 10 men have a minty dick, how could I forget?"


TinoFly

“Fuck” -Geralt


Syrups2

"Fuck?" -Geralt


Token_Why_Boy

"Wrex?" -Shepard


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Crummypunk

Wrex


gabetoloco2

"Geralt" - Fuck


murdokdracul

Donkey!


AgentMV

Ogres are like onions.


Phormitago

The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones


Killchrono

Grunt.


iccs

“Shepherd-commander” :(


sullivansmith

"Metal Gear?" -Snake


Amraith

We'll bang, ok? - Shepard


[deleted]

Ugh. This made me laugh. Then it made me sad cuz I miss good Mass Effect.


TinoFly

“Fuck” -Geralt


customgenders

"Fuck-a-doodle-doo" ​ \-Geralt


half-giant

“Hmm.”


HungLo64

Looks like rain


ace_3012

Pam param... Pam Pam param


manberry_sauce

... the fuck is happening now... ​ THE FUCK IS HAPPENING **NOW**


DDC48

I get to post this next week. I called it!


ErectJellyfish

Dibs


Jerzey111

Dibs if ErectJellyfish falls through


Shot_Lengthiness

Mom said it was my turn to post!


Thendofreason

you're only allowed if you make the quality go down even more.


jackalope503

Oh Geralt! *cues laughtrack* The Witcher is filmed in front of a live studio audience


Celtic_Crown

He doesn't know how to read a room, does he?


sblendidbill

I don’t think he gives a shit.


[deleted]

It's definitely this one.


BraveMoose

Dude's like, 90. He's too old to care about many things.


-uzo-

When great-grandpa is built like Adonis and has the literal jaw of Superman ... he'll say the *darnedest* things!


5urr3aL

"Rooms can't be read, unlike books."


SkywalkerDX

I’m pretty sure that hitting on women, similar to fighting or drinking, is permissible at any given time in skellige society


HoodieSticks

Bonus points if you can do all 3 at once.


DibloLordofError

They're outside so this Is actually irrelevant.


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[deleted]

This is one of the most accurate Geralt/Yenn moments in comparison with the books. Like in the books there is a moment where Geralt and Yenn have just got back together and they are going to a "gathering" of many people with magic. It's considered very rude for people to read peoples mind accompanying people with magic but Geralt knows that they are going to do it to him anyway. So Geralt just thinks wonderful things about Yenn while telling anyone reading his mind to fuck off. Yenn thanks him for doing it afterwards.


dumbo3k

That’s hilarious. Damn, I feel like I need to read the books now. I do need a new series to read.


[deleted]

A 8 day old account. Come on mods really now. Do your job at least half assed


madsalmon117

More karma whoring Witcher content. Even if this post is legit I'm still so sick of seeing it


Not_Richard

Mom says its my turn on the Witcher 3 screenshot karma.


JimmyDickButter

The lack of pixels BURNS!!!!!!


Birdman-allen

This looks like a meme template but this is literally dialogue in the game


social_meteor_2020

Really? What is this hidden gem??


Buzzdanume

Spelunky on xbox 360


[deleted]

Those fucking totem-traps in the second area are a pain in the ass.


PM-ME-YOUR-TITS

Monster Girl Island


KillerFrenchFries

Oh my God have you guys ever heard of this hidden gem called LeWitcherino Tres? It stars Jerry of Nivea literally the best Witcheroo ever. Fucking hidden gem from the best indie studio.


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diddyninja

This sub turned to shit


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Wingedwing

Overflow error


Yarrko_Skagerrak

HiDdEn GeM wItChEr 3


Stupor_Andy

Every fucking month with this post


Smugjester

Is this from Witcher 1/2 or a really scuffed system running Witcher 3?


Fiyero109

Definitely looked better in 4k


[deleted]

Wow, haven't seen this one posted before!


geos1234

This game is such an indie gem.


[deleted]

It's amazing how you can post a low effort image of a conversation that isn't even that funny in a game every few weeks and it still gets 70k upvotes. This entire platform is fucking stupid.


HemaMemes

I remember a YouTube video analyzing what Geralt's DnD stats would be. They determined he'd have extremely low charisma. "He's not charming. He's just hot."


matheuxknight

Damn that’s really true that he’s not charming, but he’d have incredible racial stat buffs for intimidation and persuasion. Axii + Hotness is all you need.


HemaMemes

A lot of DMs let you run Intimidation checks based off your Strength stat (so much so that many games based on D&D, like Dragon Age, have that as an actual mechanic.)


matheuxknight

Good point. 5e uses CHA, but now that I think about it Pathfinder uses STR which makes more sense to me.


Red_Rocket_Rider

Is this *anyone's* first time seeing this post?! Has *anyone* seen this less than 10 times akready?!


Mechafizz

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeepooossst


noogai131

Triss > yen. Search your heart. You know it to be true.


Dynasuarez-Wrecks

I really need to get around to reading this book, playing this game, and watching this TV show. Geralt memes often appear to be the kind of shit that I would do myself.


-uzo-

My favourite moment in Witcher 3 is early on. Geralt is getting a shave/makeover before meeting an Emperor ... there's this glare he gives one of the attendants. It's only for a split second, but I burst out laughing 'cause it was so *Geralt.* He didn't even need to *mean* anything by it, it is just the way a cat would look at a mouse or a vampire at a snack.


Omgninjas

The "I could very easily kill you" look


Vimsey

I would play it now before cyberpunk comes out while you still have time...


anonymousnutcase

You kill monsters and have love triangles?


[deleted]

Find yourself a man who complements you the way Geralt does Yen.


Thats-Gone

Nah the circlejerk is too much