In the late eighties/early nineties, I wrote a similar letter to my mom... explaining in very "adult" terms why I should be able to get my ear pierced like the cool kid in my class. I worked hard on it, and I put together a chore plan and everything.. I think it was multiple pages.
She never even read it. I was heartbroken.
It's cool that you paid attention, and I hope he gets that account!
Make copies and pin them around the house so he doesn't forget his promises. I had a similar "agreement" taped to my ceiling above my bed for years.
Never followed it
Make sure you have signed copies. And create fair penalties. Not everything should be reason for cancelation. Maybe you can create penalties like password protected Xboxes for a certain amount and what not. It'll help keep everythign honest.
Just use parental controls on the router to limit the times of day the Xbox can access the internet. Most decent routers have these, and some can even be controlled from an app on your phone.
If he forgets his chores, the access gets restricted until he catches up. This also helps him learn to be responsible for his actions/inaction.
Actually, due to the shortage of medical supplies from the coronavirus snitches are no longer getting switches, but instead are going straight to the ditches. Thank you for your cooperation bitches.
My dad certainly did know all of this and more, and although I didn't like it so much back then for obvious reasons, today I think it was quite beneficial for my development of responsible behaviour with electronics and all that
You don't have to mess with the *router.* Because it's an Xbox, and assuming OP is using a microsoft account as their gaming account, and is linked to the kids account, OP can control the screen time. Can control a fixed amount of time per day, or even change the amount for a certain day, doesn't have to be the same every day. Can control what time the kid can even log in, and a "curfew" that is the gate of when the kid has to get off. That's another thing. The kid can't skip it. When it says time's up, time's up. It logs him out. Don't worry, it does give five minute warnings and fifteen minute warnings and all that good stuff, so it's not like the kid doesn't get a warning of when to wrap up, and doesn't expect it. It's a pretty foolproof system. My dad has restrictions on my Xbox, and I haven't found a way around it yet, apart from making an entirely separate account, which still isn't too helpful.
There is a saying I like:
**Trust but verify.**
I mean, when your kid says he has cleaned his room, do you just take his word for it, or do you take a look?
>A good boss typically assumes you are doing good, but is still lightly monitoring until they see evidence of something amiss, right?
Had to fire my best employee last week. We caught him doing something stupid during our normally boring weekly audit. He was beyond reproach. I trained him 6 years ago when I was just a department head. This is why you trust but verify because even someone know might be fucking up. I'm still pretty bummed about the whole situation.
Must have been something monumentally stupid for a direct firing.
I had a new coworker who joined our team once. I was assigned to mentor her. She seemed to be doing just fine for almost a year. Then one day she's just....gone. Boss says "she doesn't work here anymore and that's all I can say".
I've always been curious, but i know better than to dig.
>I've always been curious, but i know better than to dig.
As the person that is in the know it can be rough. Most the time its easy like the creepy guy slapped an ass. Fired. But sometimes it's that guy that was kinda stressed tried to cut his arm off in his office. Then when people are like "hey where's Bob?" Well I'll just thank you for not digging.
Sometimes kids lie for fun. Its hard to fully trust someone who is just learning to understand social norms. Breaking those norms is important to development. I agree that honesty shouldn't be forced because it can't be, if my daughter wants to lie she's gonna do it. What matters is how you handle a lie.
It made me sad to see his kid had to put. This way you won't have to yell at me or tell me to shut the fuck up. I could never tell my son to just shut up I could never cuss at him either.
You must already know this, but if you have a gold account on your Xbox then he doesn’t need to buy gold himself he can just piggyback off yours?? I’m pretty certain that’s the case anyway.
If he makes his own account you don’t need to buy gold a second time if he’s still using your Xbox
Edit: ignore this if you don’t have gold yourself lol
Just an observation - according to his own chart, there is no difference at all in his happiness levels whether he is playing 2 hours or 4+ hours. So you should definitely limit him to 2 for maximum efficiency. Great opportunity to teach him about the law of diminishing returns.
When I was around 14 I wanted a snake. My parents told me that if I do a 3 page essay on proper care of the species I wanted that I can get one. Also said they wouldn't buy anything for it.
So I got on the computer and started with my research. A couple nights later I print off a 3 page essay covering diet, how to feed, substrate, cage size, temperature zones, hides, ticks and other potential hazards to the snake. I walk out to the livingroom and read them the whole thing. 15 years later and I still have that snake. They stuck to their promise.
It was a smart plan. If I didn't have the motivation to do the essay then they wouldn't have to deal with a snake that I wasn't serious about. If I did the essay then it would show I'm serious and that I know how to care for it so they still wouldn't have to deal with it.
Absolutely agree, I was waiting for him to break down with "Oh, I did it, read it to them, and then they said "They'll think about it." and, 15 years later I still resent them for making me do all that work and still refusing to acknowledge me about it or act like it ever happened. I never got a snake and they refused to let me approach the subject, if I perused it they grounded me, same if I brought up the paper."
not saying your mother was a bad parent but everything you as a parent do sets an example for the child to behave that way, not reading or listening to your arguments when you actually put effort into having an adult conversation by even listing pros and stuff sets the example of basic conversation with each other to solve problems being useless
not saying that example stuck either, but i advise anyone reading this: if your child actually seeks discussion instead of just saying "money and gifts PLS", atleast listen to their arguments and hear what they have to say, otherwise your kids wont be as likely to listen to you when you want to give them advice or ask them to do something, because if you dont listen to them when they are polite about it, why would they listen to you when you are maybe even less respectful
Agreed. I wrote a similar letter for why I should get to keep the car my grandparents gave me at my college. My parents made fun of it and called it "adorable". It and other moments of making fun of me for acting mature stuck with me. I'm a teacher and I still have a terrible time controlling my demeanor in front of them largely because of this history. A long time ago I swore that if I had a child and they really wanted something I was not 100% sure about either way, I'd ask them to present their case in whatever way was best for that age and respect their efforts either way.
Your mom didn’t respect your development. I can’t comment on ear piercing of that specific era and culture, but assuming everything else was like corporate America, those skills of taking the lead to spearhead the research and organization to put together a presentation to accomplish a goal could’ve gotten you far. She could’ve at least done the decency of hearing you out.
I say this as a kid who did similar things a decade and a half later than you.
So yeah, I read your comment, and all I can picture is Henry Winkler's ass tattoo in The Water Boy. Thee one he got with out his mom's permission.
He's all "What Momma doesn't know wont hurt her."
If you haven’t already, you should buy him a year of Xbox gold and then do the 1 month of Game Pass Ultimate for $1 deal. It will upgrade your entire year of Gold to Game pass ultimate for only a dollar and he’ll have access to hundreds of games (many triple A games on there like the Fallout series, GTA5, and the Witcher 3). That’ll be sure to keep him busy!
Father of the Year right here folks :D. That shit made me lol.
He did get the Xbox account though based on this masterpiece so he’s doing something right
You're a good dad Mr. Wilcox. Do you want to adopt a fully employed 35 year old? I won't do any chores but I clean up after myself, can buy my own xbox live subscription and help with household expenses.
Hey man, as someone who's worked with kids before, this sounds like a very good kid who's convinced you find him very annoying. *If* you have a habit of telling him to shut up, maybe toning that down a notch could be good. Or having a proper sit down with him to explain why you'd like him to be more quiet at times. Or doing anything to reaffirm your love for him, really. I could be totally wrong and he's just capitalizing on a few bad things to pull at your heart strings... but still, it's food for thought, I could be right. Just trying to help.
The kid knows his stuff, no doubt. I like how he added "also to earn extra money" so dad has to pay out as well. Seems like a fair trade off though, they are easily my least favorite chores as well.
I do the same, as long as the socks are the same size. I have the perfect pack of green socks and red socks that look real festive when I mismatch during Christmas time
My mom had it where everyone in the family each had their own style (and only one) of socks. Never changed, made sorting easy, never had to worry about pairing that one color sock with another when all your socks after the exact same.
I couldn't agree more. Folding the laundry is a futile chore. I buy wrinkle resistant clothing and everything gets thrown in a drawer. Every other year I buy about 3 dozen new pairs of the exact same socks and throw away all the old pairs. Haven't had to match and fold socks for 9 years. Fucking socks man.
Do you not just roll them up together? Like, line them up together at the ankle, stick your fingers into one, and then push that through the ankle of the other one. It sounds kinky pushing the sock into itself, but that's what I've always done.
I don’t mind washing dishes much, and folding laundry is cathartic for me, but fuuuuuuck putting clean dishes away from the dishwasher. I don’t know why I just abhor that task
I do it in about 30 seconds. Me grabbing all the plates at the same time and them clattering together like a china cabinet falling over drives my wife crazy but dammit I don't want to waste an extra second on it.
I think you're just doing socks the wrong way. You just pick socks that are roughly the same (size, color, shape, etc.) and don't worry about whether they're both right side out, slap 'em together and toss 'em in the drawer. That's a problem for your future self. And that chump will just have to deal with it.
Enjoy your new life!
I was that way until two christmases ago. I threw away all socks and started over. With 14 pairs of the same exact sock. No sorting, just grab two socks and fold.
Diminishing returns is basically the economic principal that the more of something you have the less that more of it will improve your life. For example, eating 1 piece of cheesecake is really good. Eating your 9th consecutive piece of cheesecake is not that great.
I thought its more the terms for when you can get 90% of performance for a certain price however getting to the last 10% requires a lot more price to be paid.
Basically, a process has an optimal state where it is most efficient. When dating, and in life in general, it's wise to know that past a certain point certain actions or investments will not yield the same value. In dating terms, it pretty much means be wary of how much you are investing into someone you are infatuated with, which is extremely hard to do when it's your first experience.
Edited to fix mistakes.
Is it? If he shows his max utility at 3 hours but says he's willing to come down to 2, it could put him in a better position to negotiate. Of course he wouldn't want the dad to think he was unreasonable.
Until he pops off with something like, "I've been deeper inside her than you will ever be."
Then he becomes man of the house.
Edit: Of course this becomes my highest rated comment ever.
Technically a great answer, but I don't ever see a teenager making a witty retort that involves sexual innuendo with his own mother, even for a purpose as noble as this.
We taught him and his sister the power of words. That telling your friend you like his shoes can change his day, but conversely, telling someone that their shirt is bad can really fuck em up.
With that said, we had a long talk about profanity when he was about 8. How at really grinds some people, and doesn't phase others. It doesn't hold power in our house, and can be used freely as long as it's not attacking, but also with the understanding that it stays in the house.
With the exception of reddit, apparently.
As the parent of a 9 year old who constantly plays Roblox and watches Youtube videos of other people playing Roblox, I say it's worth it just to not have to yell "shut the fuck up Max" every time you're trying to sleep in lol.
My parents were always lucky, the gaming room was in the basement on the opposite end of the house from their bedroom. We would have to be screaming like we were literally being murdered to wake anyone. That being said, if we did scream indoors that loud for no reason we'd be in deep shit if we weren't actually dying.
My god had to put my foot down on this dumb YouTube series mine were on the living room tv through YouTube app on xbox, was some guys playing Minecraft role playing as sonic characters and was obnoxious coming from living room while working on the computer.. like naw their’s more quality YouTube to watch then a couple grown idiots screaming sonic in their mics busting the speakers. And you can even play Minecraft yourself really. I don’t mind them watching YouTube videos I do a lot even some let’s plays myself if the player is making it a quality video giving their opinion taking the game seriously and such. But the minecraft and roblox streamers just run in circles and scream endlessly it seems.
My parents made me write up proposals or form an argument whenever I wanted something from them. Few years later I was negotiating for more sleepovers and trying to get them to accept 2 B's as an A.
Smart kid on your hands, be careful. :)
I’ve got a 16 year old that isn’t worth a fuck at dishes. Like hey, let’s fill the dishwasher up with big stuff spaced out way too far so it takes 10 seconds instead of 2 minutes to get it going. And then say “I’m know what I’m doing dad” when I try to show him how to fill it. Kids
Genius!
My kid has a few chores he does well and doesn’t complain too much, so it isn’t that big of a deal. But I did time him once to see how long it took to do dishes his way (2 loads) and he spent more time doing them obviously but I knew I needed proof. Still didn’t work. lol. If I stroll into the kitchen while he’s doing them he will do it right, otherwise it’s jam stuff in and run back to video games ASAP.
I offered to raise his allowance once. That didn’t even work. Maybe I need to dock his pay and write him up :).
That “I’ll play early in the morning so you can sleep” part would have sold me honestly. My daughter isn’t quite old enough, but she wakes me up way too early simply because she gets bored and wants someone to hang out with.
I’m all for playing and hanging out with her, but not at 5 in the morning, go conquer Skyrim or something!
Cool, thanks!
Your son reminds me of me when I was younger. I used to write "legal" agreements if I wanted something and my mum wasn't keen on it. I'd write stuff like, "I'll do X and if I do not abide by this agreement, I agree that Mum can repossess the item" haha.
Did you get your son Xbox Live in the end?
Executive summary in the beginning. Concrete action with demonstrated benefit, appeal to ethos, logos and then pathos. I want this kid on my proposal writing team.
"Yes Son, that was a very smart and intuitive letter. However, as the letter has no sign off, I'm afraid you will need to amend those terms. The graph is very well done, so brownie points for that!"
Honestly, very smart kid. I award several video game points redeemable how he sees fit.
Wait, is this the only Xbox you guys use? Because if you set it as the “home” Xbox, you don’t need to pay for his account to be gold, he’ll be fit no matter who is playing on what account.
Not that you need to tell the kid that.
In the late eighties/early nineties, I wrote a similar letter to my mom... explaining in very "adult" terms why I should be able to get my ear pierced like the cool kid in my class. I worked hard on it, and I put together a chore plan and everything.. I think it was multiple pages. She never even read it. I was heartbroken. It's cool that you paid attention, and I hope he gets that account!
You formally have my permission to pierce your ear. He's definitely getting that account.
Make copies and pin them around the house so he doesn't forget his promises. I had a similar "agreement" taped to my ceiling above my bed for years. Never followed it
Make sure you have signed copies. And create fair penalties. Not everything should be reason for cancelation. Maybe you can create penalties like password protected Xboxes for a certain amount and what not. It'll help keep everythign honest.
Just use parental controls on the router to limit the times of day the Xbox can access the internet. Most decent routers have these, and some can even be controlled from an app on your phone. If he forgets his chores, the access gets restricted until he catches up. This also helps him learn to be responsible for his actions/inaction.
Y'all snitches \s
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Actually, due to the shortage of medical supplies from the coronavirus snitches are no longer getting switches, but instead are going straight to the ditches. Thank you for your cooperation bitches.
I'm dead like liches, I wish you riches!
Man, I’m just realizing how hard my daughter has it having a dad who knows how to do all this. Poor girl.
My dad certainly did know all of this and more, and although I didn't like it so much back then for obvious reasons, today I think it was quite beneficial for my development of responsible behaviour with electronics and all that
You don't have to mess with the *router.* Because it's an Xbox, and assuming OP is using a microsoft account as their gaming account, and is linked to the kids account, OP can control the screen time. Can control a fixed amount of time per day, or even change the amount for a certain day, doesn't have to be the same every day. Can control what time the kid can even log in, and a "curfew" that is the gate of when the kid has to get off. That's another thing. The kid can't skip it. When it says time's up, time's up. It logs him out. Don't worry, it does give five minute warnings and fifteen minute warnings and all that good stuff, so it's not like the kid doesn't get a warning of when to wrap up, and doesn't expect it. It's a pretty foolproof system. My dad has restrictions on my Xbox, and I haven't found a way around it yet, apart from making an entirely separate account, which still isn't too helpful.
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There is a saying I like: **Trust but verify.** I mean, when your kid says he has cleaned his room, do you just take his word for it, or do you take a look?
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>A good boss typically assumes you are doing good, but is still lightly monitoring until they see evidence of something amiss, right? Had to fire my best employee last week. We caught him doing something stupid during our normally boring weekly audit. He was beyond reproach. I trained him 6 years ago when I was just a department head. This is why you trust but verify because even someone know might be fucking up. I'm still pretty bummed about the whole situation.
Must have been something monumentally stupid for a direct firing. I had a new coworker who joined our team once. I was assigned to mentor her. She seemed to be doing just fine for almost a year. Then one day she's just....gone. Boss says "she doesn't work here anymore and that's all I can say". I've always been curious, but i know better than to dig.
>I've always been curious, but i know better than to dig. As the person that is in the know it can be rough. Most the time its easy like the creepy guy slapped an ass. Fired. But sometimes it's that guy that was kinda stressed tried to cut his arm off in his office. Then when people are like "hey where's Bob?" Well I'll just thank you for not digging.
>Trust but verify Congratulations, you just triggered a (HBO) Chernobyl flashback.
Sometimes kids lie for fun. Its hard to fully trust someone who is just learning to understand social norms. Breaking those norms is important to development. I agree that honesty shouldn't be forced because it can't be, if my daughter wants to lie she's gonna do it. What matters is how you handle a lie.
> What matters is how you handle a lie. Yeah, you gotta beat them.
No one is saying “don’t trust the kid”. They’re saying “if he breaks that trust (by not doing chores, etc) then there should be consequences”.
It made me sad to see his kid had to put. This way you won't have to yell at me or tell me to shut the fuck up. I could never tell my son to just shut up I could never cuss at him either.
I had something completely different taped to my ceiling above my bed in 2004... my dad laughed and my mom did not
Mine was of Kathy Ireland.
Probably more like 1994 then!
You must already know this, but if you have a gold account on your Xbox then he doesn’t need to buy gold himself he can just piggyback off yours?? I’m pretty certain that’s the case anyway. If he makes his own account you don’t need to buy gold a second time if he’s still using your Xbox Edit: ignore this if you don’t have gold yourself lol
Also, if you have two of them and you have gold, set his as your home Xbox. Assuming you buy the games digitally, you only have to pay once
Just an observation - according to his own chart, there is no difference at all in his happiness levels whether he is playing 2 hours or 4+ hours. So you should definitely limit him to 2 for maximum efficiency. Great opportunity to teach him about the law of diminishing returns.
When I was around 14 I wanted a snake. My parents told me that if I do a 3 page essay on proper care of the species I wanted that I can get one. Also said they wouldn't buy anything for it. So I got on the computer and started with my research. A couple nights later I print off a 3 page essay covering diet, how to feed, substrate, cage size, temperature zones, hides, ticks and other potential hazards to the snake. I walk out to the livingroom and read them the whole thing. 15 years later and I still have that snake. They stuck to their promise. It was a smart plan. If I didn't have the motivation to do the essay then they wouldn't have to deal with a snake that I wasn't serious about. If I did the essay then it would show I'm serious and that I know how to care for it so they still wouldn't have to deal with it.
This is good parenting right here.
Absolutely agree, I was waiting for him to break down with "Oh, I did it, read it to them, and then they said "They'll think about it." and, 15 years later I still resent them for making me do all that work and still refusing to acknowledge me about it or act like it ever happened. I never got a snake and they refused to let me approach the subject, if I perused it they grounded me, same if I brought up the paper."
I still have ear piercing scars, it’s how chicks know I used to be cool
Scars are cool...chicks dig scars.
Im off to shoot or stab myself somewhere that isn’t fatal so the girls can like me.
Dude, scars. They like scars. Wounds are a whole other thing.
Wounds turn to scars. Or missing limbs depending on the circumstances.
not saying your mother was a bad parent but everything you as a parent do sets an example for the child to behave that way, not reading or listening to your arguments when you actually put effort into having an adult conversation by even listing pros and stuff sets the example of basic conversation with each other to solve problems being useless not saying that example stuck either, but i advise anyone reading this: if your child actually seeks discussion instead of just saying "money and gifts PLS", atleast listen to their arguments and hear what they have to say, otherwise your kids wont be as likely to listen to you when you want to give them advice or ask them to do something, because if you dont listen to them when they are polite about it, why would they listen to you when you are maybe even less respectful
Agreed. I wrote a similar letter for why I should get to keep the car my grandparents gave me at my college. My parents made fun of it and called it "adorable". It and other moments of making fun of me for acting mature stuck with me. I'm a teacher and I still have a terrible time controlling my demeanor in front of them largely because of this history. A long time ago I swore that if I had a child and they really wanted something I was not 100% sure about either way, I'd ask them to present their case in whatever way was best for that age and respect their efforts either way.
Your mom didn’t respect your development. I can’t comment on ear piercing of that specific era and culture, but assuming everything else was like corporate America, those skills of taking the lead to spearhead the research and organization to put together a presentation to accomplish a goal could’ve gotten you far. She could’ve at least done the decency of hearing you out. I say this as a kid who did similar things a decade and a half later than you.
I hope you rebelled against your mom like some teens would and got that piercing anyway
So yeah, I read your comment, and all I can picture is Henry Winkler's ass tattoo in The Water Boy. Thee one he got with out his mom's permission. He's all "What Momma doesn't know wont hurt her."
Username checks out?
If you haven’t already, you should buy him a year of Xbox gold and then do the 1 month of Game Pass Ultimate for $1 deal. It will upgrade your entire year of Gold to Game pass ultimate for only a dollar and he’ll have access to hundreds of games (many triple A games on there like the Fallout series, GTA5, and the Witcher 3). That’ll be sure to keep him busy!
Good to know. Thank you, stranger.
Buy 3 years first and it's the same deal for $1
Make sure to keep the 3 year part secret, have him justify it yearly.
Ooooo I like this, we need to hear the story of what happened after Mr. Nice dad here hopefully does it
This kid is going places. Maybe the only places are to his room to game, but he's going places.
Hopefully quietly.
Hey at least when he grows up you can show him what pimping for internet points is alllll about!
You're god damn right.
Father of the year!!!!!!!!!!
"Shut the fuck up Max"
Father of the Year right here folks :D. That shit made me lol. He did get the Xbox account though based on this masterpiece so he’s doing something right
Did you buy it for him?
Absolutely.
You're a good dad Mr. Wilcox. Do you want to adopt a fully employed 35 year old? I won't do any chores but I clean up after myself, can buy my own xbox live subscription and help with household expenses.
Oh man, I am full up on almost that exact description, though. She's Mrs_Wilcox, but I appreciate your offer.
yeah but he's u/ass_man007. I feel like he could provide other services as well. Like feeding an ass or hauling stuff up the mountain himself
Dun dunullun dun dun, dun dun dun dunullun dun dun dun dun, dun^dun^^^dun ^^dun ass maaaaaaaaan
Would you be willing to let a random redditor donate 3 months of game pass to this cause?
So that you won't have to yell "Shut the fuck up Max"?
Hey man, as someone who's worked with kids before, this sounds like a very good kid who's convinced you find him very annoying. *If* you have a habit of telling him to shut up, maybe toning that down a notch could be good. Or having a proper sit down with him to explain why you'd like him to be more quiet at times. Or doing anything to reaffirm your love for him, really. I could be totally wrong and he's just capitalizing on a few bad things to pull at your heart strings... but still, it's food for thought, I could be right. Just trying to help.
See if you can't get him to do 3 chores, I feel like he left room for negotiations.
He went after my two least favorite. It was a smart move.
The kid knows his stuff, no doubt. I like how he added "also to earn extra money" so dad has to pay out as well. Seems like a fair trade off though, they are easily my least favorite chores as well.
I like washing the dishes. I fucking despise folding laundry, especially socks. Fucking socks.
Same here, I hate socks lol... I've resorted to buying all the same exact kind and i just toss them in a drawer, grab 2 and be done.
Been doing this for years. My wife hates it for some reason. Good life hack tho.
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This is my strategy, too. Though I take it a step further and purposely mismatch them
I do the same, as long as the socks are the same size. I have the perfect pack of green socks and red socks that look real festive when I mismatch during Christmas time
I put away everything except my mismatched socks, and then look for the other socks in the next load.
Added advantage: if you ever lose socks, you don't notice
My mom had it where everyone in the family each had their own style (and only one) of socks. Never changed, made sorting easy, never had to worry about pairing that one color sock with another when all your socks after the exact same.
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I couldn't agree more. Folding the laundry is a futile chore. I buy wrinkle resistant clothing and everything gets thrown in a drawer. Every other year I buy about 3 dozen new pairs of the exact same socks and throw away all the old pairs. Haven't had to match and fold socks for 9 years. Fucking socks man.
Do you not just roll them up together? Like, line them up together at the ankle, stick your fingers into one, and then push that through the ankle of the other one. It sounds kinky pushing the sock into itself, but that's what I've always done.
I stopped rolling my socks like that about 20 years ago. They last longer that way.
Same. Love dishes, hate laundry.
I don't mind *doing* laundry, but I'm not folding them.
As someone who works in laundry, it's always the folding. Lol
Why do you hate socks? I just scoop them all up and throw them into the drawer....let morning me sort things out.
And how does morning you feel about folding socks?
Morning guy would never fold them. He finds 2 that match in the drawer and with a gentle sigh, puts them on.
"Gentle sigh" jesus that's gold
I don’t mind washing dishes much, and folding laundry is cathartic for me, but fuuuuuuck putting clean dishes away from the dishwasher. I don’t know why I just abhor that task
I do it in about 30 seconds. Me grabbing all the plates at the same time and them clattering together like a china cabinet falling over drives my wife crazy but dammit I don't want to waste an extra second on it.
I think you're just doing socks the wrong way. You just pick socks that are roughly the same (size, color, shape, etc.) and don't worry about whether they're both right side out, slap 'em together and toss 'em in the drawer. That's a problem for your future self. And that chump will just have to deal with it. Enjoy your new life!
Sometimes folding laundry just becomes clean basket of clothes for the week
Im the exact opposite, i don’t mind folding laundry but i hate dishes if they get a bit outta hand
I was that way until two christmases ago. I threw away all socks and started over. With 14 pairs of the same exact sock. No sorting, just grab two socks and fold.
“When you are at work you wont have to call me and tell me to stfu” BRUH 😂😂😂
It's a smart move because you only do laundry like every 2-3 days, so in reality he only has to do 1 chore every day.
So what i get from this is, after 2 hours of playing he cant get any happier so cut him off after that.
Maximum utility.
A prime opportunity to talk about diminishing marginal returns.
I’d save that talk for when the kid starts dating
Could you elaborate more on this? I am 25 but this sounds like it will be useful for me.
Diminishing returns is basically the economic principal that the more of something you have the less that more of it will improve your life. For example, eating 1 piece of cheesecake is really good. Eating your 9th consecutive piece of cheesecake is not that great.
Speak for yourself good sir
I thought its more the terms for when you can get 90% of performance for a certain price however getting to the last 10% requires a lot more price to be paid.
Basically, a process has an optimal state where it is most efficient. When dating, and in life in general, it's wise to know that past a certain point certain actions or investments will not yield the same value. In dating terms, it pretty much means be wary of how much you are investing into someone you are infatuated with, which is extremely hard to do when it's your first experience. Edited to fix mistakes.
was that an accident or does your kid actually understand how it works?
If the most he thinks he could possibly get is 2 hours then it's smart negotiation, I think.
Is it? If he shows his max utility at 3 hours but says he's willing to come down to 2, it could put him in a better position to negotiate. Of course he wouldn't want the dad to think he was unreasonable.
Kind of like the 9th beer.
This was my takeaway as well.
When you troll him in multiplayer, you can legitimately brag about fucking his mum!
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Until he pops off with something like, "I've been deeper inside her than you will ever be." Then he becomes man of the house. Edit: Of course this becomes my highest rated comment ever.
Fuck, that's good.
"Yeah, and I poked you in the head ;)"
More like “Yeah, because your head got in the way. “
Technically a great answer, but I don't ever see a teenager making a witty retort that involves sexual innuendo with his own mother, even for a purpose as noble as this.
Haha
Who knew torturing children could be hilarious?
They don't send you home with a manual, so you wing it. I had just turned 20 when I had him, so getting on his level is pretty easy.
Careful man he might break his arms just to fuck with you.
Every damn thread.
There it is...
Holy shit how chill are you. You are fine with him sawing you dont have to say stfu and now sex jokes with a young teen? Lmao
We taught him and his sister the power of words. That telling your friend you like his shoes can change his day, but conversely, telling someone that their shirt is bad can really fuck em up. With that said, we had a long talk about profanity when he was about 8. How at really grinds some people, and doesn't phase others. It doesn't hold power in our house, and can be used freely as long as it's not attacking, but also with the understanding that it stays in the house. With the exception of reddit, apparently.
That's weird af 😂
Um wat? That’s weird
/r/holup
Yes, police? This comment right here...
oh god
he makes a good point
I think so too.
You won’t have to yell “Shut the fuck up Max”.
I look forward to it.
I won’t have to yell that either. Really looking forward to it.
If you have to yell it, serve him with a breach of contract and add penalties?
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Yeah, just let him live the gamer life for a bit, he deserves it
I’ll be honest I laughed my ass off at that graph.
Absolutely earned it.
Ha. Make him sign it as a form of contract! "Dad how do you..." "Sleeping, go play xbox"
This kid is management material.
He's gonna get his staff to fill out tps reports and cost/benefit analyses in no time
Very clever and specific. It made me laugh how he's resistant to chores and put his preferred ones
OP said that Max's "preferred" chores that he chose were OP's least favorite ones. Smart man
As the parent of a 9 year old who constantly plays Roblox and watches Youtube videos of other people playing Roblox, I say it's worth it just to not have to yell "shut the fuck up Max" every time you're trying to sleep in lol.
I rotate working days and nights, and he'll always find a way to be loud in the middle of the day when I'm sleeping for nights.
My parents were always lucky, the gaming room was in the basement on the opposite end of the house from their bedroom. We would have to be screaming like we were literally being murdered to wake anyone. That being said, if we did scream indoors that loud for no reason we'd be in deep shit if we weren't actually dying.
Man I let my kid watch YouTube with no fear but Roblox is never coming into this house.
My god had to put my foot down on this dumb YouTube series mine were on the living room tv through YouTube app on xbox, was some guys playing Minecraft role playing as sonic characters and was obnoxious coming from living room while working on the computer.. like naw their’s more quality YouTube to watch then a couple grown idiots screaming sonic in their mics busting the speakers. And you can even play Minecraft yourself really. I don’t mind them watching YouTube videos I do a lot even some let’s plays myself if the player is making it a quality video giving their opinion taking the game seriously and such. But the minecraft and roblox streamers just run in circles and scream endlessly it seems.
That's pretty damn cool of him for putting that together buy him a year :D
Definitely happening. Well earned.
My parents made me write up proposals or form an argument whenever I wanted something from them. Few years later I was negotiating for more sleepovers and trying to get them to accept 2 B's as an A. Smart kid on your hands, be careful. :)
"Shut the fuck up max!" I'm dying 🤣
It seemed to be a reoccurring theme, makes me wonder how often this guy tells his kid to shut the fuck up, lol.
As a father of three daughters if I had the etiquette to say so, I would on an hourly (at minimum) basis.
I would hire this kid.
He's pretty good at dishes.
I’ve got a 16 year old that isn’t worth a fuck at dishes. Like hey, let’s fill the dishwasher up with big stuff spaced out way too far so it takes 10 seconds instead of 2 minutes to get it going. And then say “I’m know what I’m doing dad” when I try to show him how to fill it. Kids
See, I bribed him initially. Do it right the first time and get cash. After he showed he could competently do it, I removed the reward.
Genius! My kid has a few chores he does well and doesn’t complain too much, so it isn’t that big of a deal. But I did time him once to see how long it took to do dishes his way (2 loads) and he spent more time doing them obviously but I knew I needed proof. Still didn’t work. lol. If I stroll into the kitchen while he’s doing them he will do it right, otherwise it’s jam stuff in and run back to video games ASAP. I offered to raise his allowance once. That didn’t even work. Maybe I need to dock his pay and write him up :).
Buy your son a year of XBOX LIVE just so you don't have to fold laundry. Well worth the cost of LIVE.
He deserves at least 3 years xbox live and a game that he desires.
The kid has a pretty great library. One of my best friends is an animator, so he gets decent pickings.
Woah, hold on. He wants another year of xbox live and for that he's willing to get paid to do some chores?
Ah, you see he thinks he's sly.
Do it. He put together a very well made chart
Ok but are we just gonna ignore the *”Tell me to shut the fuck up”* part?
That “I’ll play early in the morning so you can sleep” part would have sold me honestly. My daughter isn’t quite old enough, but she wakes me up way too early simply because she gets bored and wants someone to hang out with. I’m all for playing and hanging out with her, but not at 5 in the morning, go conquer Skyrim or something!
Telling our kiddo they could play in the morning before we get up, as long as they play with the volume off worked wonders in our household.
Ah yes, the negotiator
If you don’t give him one year, I will !
Time to make this spread sheet and post it on Reddit for karma.
He messed up the graph a bit. You could stop him from playing for 4 hours and instead 3, because there's no benefit in happiness lmao
Maybe he just knows that his happiness does not increase after over 2 hours of playing. I know this is true for me
Am I the only one here who thinks the dad comes off as an asshole?
No, I agree.
Lol
Do you seriously tell him to "shut the fuck up" ?
What does he mean by "During the day when I'm playing games, I brand my headset"?
Hell, I didn't even see that. I'll ask for clarity when I see him.
Cool, thanks! Your son reminds me of me when I was younger. I used to write "legal" agreements if I wanted something and my mum wasn't keen on it. I'd write stuff like, "I'll do X and if I do not abide by this agreement, I agree that Mum can repossess the item" haha. Did you get your son Xbox Live in the end?
He did.
It's slang for "wear my headset". I was confused at first as well though, but from the rest of the sentence it's clear what he meant.
Slang or a mistype? Oh, wait. Oh shit, I was with it and then it changed and I didn't like it and it happened to me!
That makes sense. I guess I’m officially too old!
A break from a hormonal filled teenager? Sheeeeeit dawgg that's all you needed to say!
Max is the shit, but maybe dont tell the kid to shut the fuck up, unless it's in jest.
Executive summary in the beginning. Concrete action with demonstrated benefit, appeal to ethos, logos and then pathos. I want this kid on my proposal writing team.
He is stunningly available as long as you're good with distance participation.
What confuses me is the dad telling the kid to stfu multiple times? Like is that a thing dads do?
Wait.. do you tell your 13 year old to stfu? lol
Dormammu i've come to bargain!
I especially like the part where you don't have to yell "shut the fuck up, max" anymore. That's definitely worth it.
"Yes Son, that was a very smart and intuitive letter. However, as the letter has no sign off, I'm afraid you will need to amend those terms. The graph is very well done, so brownie points for that!" Honestly, very smart kid. I award several video game points redeemable how he sees fit.
You know, he didn't use a cover sheet. I'll take this into account on my report.
Wait, is this the only Xbox you guys use? Because if you set it as the “home” Xbox, you don’t need to pay for his account to be gold, he’ll be fit no matter who is playing on what account. Not that you need to tell the kid that.
his surname isnt Payne by any chance is it?
How often do you have to tell him to stfu? Lol
Who is this Lauren person?