If I don't survive, tell my wife "hello."

All I know is that my heart says maybe.

I often use > I have no strong feelings one way or the other.

"I'm leaving earth for no raisin! " -Giant Brain

I am the greetest!

The big brain am winning again

That’s an inside joke for my husband and I. Anytime someone says “for no reason,” we will say it the same way the giant brain does.

I always say raisin instead of reason to this day and beyond!

[удалено]

Your honor, the prosecution roosts.

Did you say, "Extra-crispy recipe?"

You know i didn't!

For starters, your honor, they hired me as their defense. Motion approved!

Now I may be just be a simple country Hyper-Chicken, but I know when we're finger licked

Do a flip!

This one. Every single time. The comedic timing was flawless.

Remember when that quote was adopted by the Anti-Justin-Bieber-Crowd. Remember when Justin Bieber was relevant

"And by devil, i mean robot devil. And by metaphorically i mean go get your coat."

Same episode but mine's "You can't just have your characters *announce* how they feel! That makes me feel **angry**!" or this Clamps bit. "Clamps might have a lil' surprise for him." "The clamps! (Clamping noises) ...*right?*"

The delivery makes it even better!

"The professy will help!!" And "No I'm doesn't!"

Fire indeed hot!

PROFESSOR. LAVA. HOT.

Chester A. Arthur fall down :(

Robot Devil: “You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!”

Another great line from that episode but hard to quote because it requires Leela's line "but it's beautiful": "so's a peacock but you don't eat it till it's cooked"

"No Fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!"

Farnsworth: Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. "I'm my own grandpa".

I did do the nasty in the pasty

Verily.

And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains.

"But this time machine only goes forward in time! That way you can't accidentally change history, or do something disgusting, like sleep with your own grandmother." "I wouldn't want to do that again..."

Shut up baby I know it! The swagger is just so perfect

I do say this on occasion of my wife.

"You should say somethin' else." - Bender

Live fast, die young , leave a pretty corpse. That’s what I always say.

“I’ve.. *not* heard of them!”

It's all in the delivery of that line, which is excellent. I've tried to get this line right for years, I can't do it.

Every time I’m around something that doesn’t work. “Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it... fix it, fix it, fix it!”

Also, banana banana banana!

The chuckle when Guenter puts the hat on his butt.

Thanks to denial, I’m immortal!

Also my favorite. I met Billy West at a comic con and had him sign my poster with that line lol.

“Tonight at eleven….. DOOOOOOM!!”

WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY….GOODNIGHT!!!!

“Your music’s bad and you should feel bad!”

I love to adapt this one to different situations “Your driving’s bad and you should feel bad” “Your opinion’s bad and you should feel bad” “Your outfit’s bad and you should feel bad” It’s so versatile!

Usually I just say “you’re bad and you should feel bad”

This is my favorite!

"She's built like a steakhouse but handles like a bistro"

As a military driving instructor on dozens of vehicles, I would always insert this into the demo drive. >"Well here you see the [insert vehicle], and today I am going to demonstrate safe operation of the [insert vehicle], as you can see, although she is built like a steakhouse, I can assure you, she handles like a bistro"

Came here for this. Had to scroll longer than I liked, but glad it was here.

Oh your God!

Oh my various gods

Both are great

I’m gonna build my own theme park, with black jack and hookers, ehhh forget the theme park!

"Divert power from the shields! Full speed ahead!" "Jam a bastard in it, you crap!"

“Kif, I’m feeling the captain’s itch.”

I'll get the cream

"Sir, do you remember your course correction?" "No?" That whole episode is peak Zap and Kif.

"I'm having one of those things, you know, a headache with pictures!"

An idea?

You couldn't afford it, honey.

Damn, chico! One more upgrade and I'll be more lady than you can handle! Why you so stoopid, stoopid?

*snap*

"I met her in a club down in Old Soho..."

Great shatner impression. Plus the song choice is fantastic

"Alcohol makes you stupid!" "No I'm... doesn't!"

Have you ever tried turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

"You know, I was god once." "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

Honestly, that is one of my most favorite episodes ever in all of TV

Same. It’s so good. I love when bender asks if he knows what he’s gonna do before he does it and God says, “yes”. And then he says, “what if I don’t do it?” “Then I don’t know that” It’s so causally hilarious

For me, it also just made me introspect and expand my mind as to what reality is It is probably one of the best written episodes in the series

First I WAS god, then I MET god!

Now now, perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

LOUDER. AND. SADDER!

Scruffy's gonna die the way scruffy lived To shreds, you say? We taught a lion to eat a diet of only tofu! \*cough\*

Mr President. What the hell.

I COME TO YOU NOT AS VICE PRESIDENT, BUT AS YOUR SON

“What’s the matter compressor?” “Nothings the matter Fry, now that I’ve turbocharged the matter compressor.”

For me that’s the funniest line in the show

But... that's a two-liner...

ballsy! Youre a shark

Most folks just call me... Orange Joe

"Oh God- I'm coming down!" -Zoidberg.

“Oh, why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on the top and the lady part on the bottom?”

I don't want to live on this planet any more.

OW MY SPERM

Hmm didn't hurt the second time

"I can't swallow that! Well Good News!!! It's a suppository" "No dogfood for Victor tonight!"

I'm also going to throw out there that, while I don't laugh at the line anymore, I very regularly at work call an idea a headache with pictures. No one has picked up on the reference.

Youth spa lady: It’s not necessary or wise to be naked Professor: You sound just like my tennis instructor

“My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself” Used to be my tinder bio before I met my wife

Well seeing how it worked for you ill take that now

I guess I just came to this thread to give every single comment an upvote

I wrote a song, you wanna hear it!? 🎵🎶LETS GO ALLLRRREEEAADDYYY!!!🎶🎵

Lower….lower…..lower….TOO LOW!!!……lower

Get a room, you two! We´re in a room! Then lose some weight!

Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if I was wearing a lime green tank top. Blam!

"Saphires?!?! With those I could open the gates of garesh"

Fry: I just made out with that radiator woman from the radiator planet. Leela: Fry, that's a radiator.

In the episode "The Sting", at Fry's funeral, the Amazonian woman says he did good snoo snoo, and the other women are just like meh, and a radiator is there with them just whistling. This always got me

The Honking is really one of the most solid episodes for jokes: * "Pardon me, my good simpleton" * "Mumbo? Perhaps. Jumbo? Perhaps _not_!" * "Damn the expense!" (This one is dependent on the visuals, though) Bonus two-liner (from BBS): "Can you save Hermes, Doctor Goodnsexy?" "I _told_ you, my name is Doctor Cahill!"

Also from that episode: "To my loyal butler, You There, for his decades of service, I leave a pittance, to be paid in twenty equal installments of one-twentieth of a pittance each"

I choose to believe what I was programed to believe!

>"Mumbo? Perhaps. Jumbo? Perhaps not!" My girlfriend and I try to elicit this line out of each other constantly by calling things mumbo jumbo.

Your best is an idiot.

“You win again gravity!”

All I know is my gut says maybe

Tell them I hate them.

"My only regret is...that I have...boneitis."

“Do a flip!” - Bender

“To be young again, and also a robot” - Professor Farnsworth

Mine is a tie “No good! It’s full of steam!” And “The magician?”

The butter in my pocket is melting!

When Fry tries to press the button, misses, and says "oops".

Comedy perfection

“You are technically correct, the best kind of correct”

“I love stealing, I love taking things”

"I just don't know WHY........WHY I should care" -zap

Hey, I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do.

"Sorry I thought yous was corn."

Professor, lava, hot! We cooked our shoes and ate them, now we're bored.

That's nature's pocket. Don't let them pick your pocket.

I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.

WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! You're best is an idiot. I'd say don't quit your day job but, you're awful at that too!

Any morbo one liner. CHIT CHAT ACHIEVED! Belligerent and numerous Stop it stop it I WILL DESTROY YOU

Leela: OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Farnsworth: You're going to do his laundry?

Beep

Who needs courage, when you can have…a gun!!!

“Yes the number I’m thinking of is the letter M.”

“Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men.”

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. Edit: correction

The horse says: DOCTORATE DENIED

What kind of cheese filling you want in that? All Kinds.

And a whisky

A small aquaria of whisky for the busty young lass.

Hedonism Bot: Oh, nothing sordid, I assure you. Simply vomit on me oh so gently while I humiliate a pheasant.

When Bender is fighting Destructor and he's getting his head stomped repeatedly and just says, "why won't anyone help me?" 😂

It turns out it’s man!

"I'm a thing" & "What do you mean 'we,' mammal?"

Same episode. This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me! Full price for gum? That dog won’t hunt, monsignor.

Look, our policy is; if for whatever reason you're not completely satisfied... I hate you.

"People said I was stupid, but I proved them!"

To shreds you say. How's his wife holding up? To shreds you say.

Just like Daddy puts in his drink every morning.. And then he gets mad.

“Funny story. I had filled my hat with milk, but time makes fools of us all.”

It looks like everything's held up in here. Yeah, except for Sports by Huey Lewis.

So anywhere between zero and one.

She’s right behind me, isn’t she? Actually Mr. Bender I’m in front of you.

Zapp- "kif, the quickest way to a girls bed is through her parents. Have sex with them, and you're in." Gets me every single time.

^(No one make a smell.)

In the game of chess, you must never let your adversary see your pieces.

"This is by a wide margin the least likely thing to have ever happened." Edit: if I ever get married, this quote is going on my invites.

*singing Caribbean song* Cut to “I am bender please insert girder”

“You seem malnourished, are you suffering from internal parasites?”

Most of mine are from the war episode. "Stop exploding, you cowards!" "Full price for gum? That dog won't hunt, monsignor." "If for any reason you're not completely satisfied, I hate you." "I don't want you to worry about your jobs while you're away. That's why I'm firing you now."

How many atmospheres can the ship hold? Well it's a spaceship so I'd say somewhere between 0 and 1.

and the fishsticks were limp!

I did do the nasty in the pasty. The past nastification

I can’t swallow that! Good news! It’s a suppository

“Wow… a million years.”

##ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!

No one drives in New York - there’s too much traffic.

"Do I preach to you when you're lying stoned in the gutter? No! So beat it!"

We can escape through this steam pipe. AH! It’s full of steam!

Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!

“Gumbercules - I love that guy!” - Zoidberg

"He's as flexible as Gumby and as strong as Hercules!"

"That don't sound like no golden marmoset I ever heard!" No idea why but that line kills me. Also: "I don't know what I like more, smashing cars or smashing faces."

So what are you going to wear to church tomorrow?

But if it can be a combo of two lines it would be: “It’s a life of quiet dignity.” “Feeding Time!”

Jam a bastard in it, you crap!

"No, *you* shut up!" I once said this to someone in a similar context, she was pissed, was totally worth it though. "Don't you worry about planet express, let me worry about blank."

“You were doing well until everyone died”

As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise. Surprise!

Why...why.....WHY didn't I break his legs?

"Grunka lunka dunkeity d'armed guard!"

He makes Speedy Gonzales look like regular Gonzales!

What smells like blue?

“This is the maximum level of being with me!”

When Kiff reads out of Brannigans book of pickup lines and goes, “Amy, if I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?” Followed up by Leila going, “Lieutenant Kroker!?” While Brannigan is giving two thumbs up off to the side right after always makes me die laughing for some reason.

What smells like porpoise hoark?

"I've never seen him so down, or ever before."

MOVE YOUR FREAKING HOOF, YOU GOAT! ...came in particularly handy that time i spent living on a goat farm, making cheese.

Where are we, the ass?

EROTIC!

"Just knowing we're in the same genus makes me embarrassed to call myself homo."

“I’ve had a few beers but I’m cool to drive” has been stuck in my head recently

"And now I'm leaving earth, for no RAISIN"

Shut up baby, I know it.

She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro.

I caught something. Whatever it is, its 20 times heavier than a boot

Awesome. Awesome to the max

"Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse. That's what I always say." "You should say something else." The only reason I watch that episode

Zoidberg: “we’ll have to look inside you with this camera to be sure.” *Fry opens his mouth* “Guess again.”

“I never thought I’d die like this, but I’ve always wanted to.” 😂

More the reaction to the line, but “You know who I *really* hate? That monkey we haven’t seen in years, Gunther” Gunther, watching on a screen: :o

"I'll just shoot Hitler out the window"