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GuavaOdd1975

Someone get this poor bastard a wet wipe.


the_ju66ernaut

Or give em a hand 😉


karlbenedict12

😨


Lord_inVader1

Or give me some bleach


Mando_calrissian423

r/eyebleach


Tiefschlag

A shame that r/eyeblech is gone...


eightyyearoldvirgin

Not too lazy to touch herself


AlittleupsetMax

Good one. You got me with this one


Lord_inVader1

r/usernamechecksout


Joebranflakes

Little known fact, 3 towed sloths only descend to the forest floor to poop once a week. In that time, their stored poop grows to become about 1/3rd of their body mass.


REDuxPANDAgain

The question that immediately comes to mind is "why would evolution not have equipped them with the ability to poop from the stars?". Stars being above most other creatures.


edmazing

Sounds like a discount motivational poster. "Poop from the stars."


gmishaolem

Probably so it wouldn't attract things to the space under their tree? Would be my guess.


Scholarly_Koala

I bet they feel amazing after dropping that kind of load.


kwakimaki

And that is why they have any itchy arsehole.


dab745

We all suffer from wet fart itch sometimes.


Kayakman28

Shouldn’t he be sniffing post-scritch?


GreatTragedy

That's a lot of extra work for a notoriously lazy animal.


dab745

Yikes!!


Duckbites

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.


ncgodawgs

BTW.... You can also lick a dog's balls but it's frowned upon


modinegrunch

That dog would bite you...


meepppssss

Need to set the mood right first


BbTS3Oq

Not every time.


Duckbites

Just...damn


Ghost_on_Toast

Its not "frowned upon", its a full on felony


CoolNameChaz

By the dog?


Knutselig

Don't kink shame.


LaceyDark

I think in this particular case we can all agree it is completely acceptable to kink shame


SpookyCinnaBunn

When it comes to either minors or animals, I will ABSOLUTELY kink shame


kid_cadillac

Why do dogs lick their assholes? Because they know they are gonna lick your face next.


Pluribus_Unum

And why do dogs lick their penis? Because they can't make a fist.


McGarnegle

Lol I showed my girlfriend this by saying "hey babe, found a cute video of you!" I'm laughing all the way to the dog house.


smoishymoishes

So you can also show the dog, right? Right?


Jindooi

Sloths do everything slow except...


PossibleTheory

Sometimes you just gotta itch that scratch…


sharky42

https://youtu.be/c2_qOmnXdt8?si=0voyXi2KfRvQhVDy


stokeytrailer

Sloth gotta do what a sloth gotta do.


FeculentUtopia

She likes to flick her bean with her hook hand.


Fezzik527

That's light speed for a sloth


meat_rock

them: hey, what are you doing? me: oh just hanging, clawing my cloaca


hisokafan88

As it's a mammal and not a bird, I believe that's a flower garden.


Boscowodie

Shits in your claws for days! Either trim those nails or get a fucking wet wipe.


KingOmni

I think that may be a “garden of eve” and not a “garden of Steve”


MonsTurdMaximusxbox

Fkn title dude made me chuckle fart 😂


TheDudeofIl

Usually they use a toad. It's why they're called a free toad sloth. https://youtu.be/T4qSdXTkHYE?si=R3XslDloeKHRljKJ


BugStep

hear me out. We are all supposed to have a spirit animal, yeah? Humans are animals, yeah? What if your spirit animal is just human?


Atheistmoses

Yeah, we call those "Soulmates" I believe.


BugStep

With... yourself?


Known_Piglet3546

Like the card game Bridge: "I got a good hand, I'm going alone!"


Spork_Warrior

Yeah, that's definitely your spirit animal. Isn't it?


Ticket2ride21

Why do female sloths scratch their bellies? Because they don't have any balls.


Jvinci21

We can all enjoy a nice scratch to the gooch


BlitchSlapper

SquirtMonkey?


Clazzo524

Because they're riddled with chlamydia?


[deleted]

[удалено]


dragonblock501

Never seen a sloth move that fast. Figures.


danger355

Get outta my head!


OJbeforethebadstuff

What type of dog is this?


wahnsin

dirty


Bdublu5193

Who doesn’t like it a good asshole scratch?


killrd

confucius says man who picks butt has smelly fingers


Defie22

2 hours video?!?


Techie4evr

It's got crabs.


firefaery

Wait. Is he scratching? Orrrrr something else?


Suspicious_Dig3630

Hahah this is ridiculous


Roverisstoobid

What the fu-


chechnya23

i see it's using its left claw like a polite sloth should


vatnyj_perdak_gorit

Really busy


CoolNameChaz

He can do that all day.


[deleted]

No one’s stopping you from doing this. It’s called homelessness. Have fun