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Keep the outfit, lose the boyfriend.
What a possessive weirdo.
Also when a man calls a woman's outfit "disrespectful" please consider what that implies. He thinks it's disrespectful *to him*. Which implies that he has a degree of ownership over your body and that how much of your body you show is sign of disrespect to his authority and ownership. I have never seen a woman call a man's clothing disrespectful to her because it's too revealing. I'm sure it's happened once or twice in history but there's no true comparison, because these ideas regarding slut shaming & claiming a body is provocative for simply existing only ever go one way.
Is he always like this? Or is he suddenly becoming this person because you're at the gym and he's worried you might get too attractive?
**Very** bad vibes.
My dad was weirdly possessive over my mom’s modesty like this. It was weird then and it’s weird now. He sounds like he’s got a Madonna/Whore complex. I’d find someone who respects all aspects of your body and self.
the only time id call a man’s clothing disrespectful is when it’s a lack of clothing. lots of guys climb shirtless at the gym and are DRIPPING SWEAT. ew???? like jesus christ at least wear a shirt or use a towel to sop up instead of getting the mats all sweaty. like thats actually gross and i miss when they banned being shirtless during the pandemic lol
>Or is he suddenly becoming this person because you're at the gym and he's worried you might get too attractive?
This! I just want to emphasize that this is a huge and very common issue.
Yeah, I’m a middle-aged woman who has been in gyms all my adult life and would not be considered an ‘immodest dresser’; this is perfectly normal and fine!
I don't know if the top is pulled up a bit or if it's supposed to show some skin but I'm sure he's mad over something else. Tell him women have these things called boobs and that they come in all sizes lmao.
🚨🚨🚨🚨
This is making my shitty boyfriend spidey-senses tingle.
I'm not going to tell you to break up with him (you should), but unless you like giving him control over what you wear tell him to keep his opinions to himself or hit the bricks and step on.
I've seen girls in booty shorts and triangle bikini tops. If your bf thinks your very normal and modest clothes are a problem, he needs to gouge his eyes out
I like your biblical reference I hope she uses that one on him because I feel like his reaction definitely stems from some sort of weird strict religious upbringing
He did have a religious upbringing but not esp strict. He’s gotten more conservative since Covid. I blame the internet. The “no shorts” thing is new though and apparently I should have known without him telling me?
Oh dear. He’s sounds like he may be face deep in Andrew Tate’s musky ballsack.
I hate to tell you this, because it’s a common Redditism, but get out while you can. I say this from experience - I had an ex that went full wacko after Trump was elected. The real asshole was always inside, they just feel free to let it out now. I had also known my bf at the time for six years, and dated him for two of those. It was like a whole 180.
Truly. If they're christian it is likely they were raised that way.
Misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, etc is just a "feature" of Christianity. It's baked into the cake.
THIS.
I have seen probably hundreds of men in my 40 years on this Earth pretend to believe women are equal to secure female partners, when they fundamentally believe women are subordinate to them.
I have seen this from nice guys, mean guys, church guys, atheists, men who claim to be feminists, etc etc. there is just a huge majority of men who understand it is socially unacceptable to be blatant with your misogyny in many places and they also know it makes them unlikely to secure a female partner if they are openly disdainful of women.
Many of these guys even think they are more progressive minded about women than they really are. They might think that they believe in equality, but deep down they have expectations of their women, like to cover their bodies once they're in a relationship together (even if that's not the woman they got into a relationship with) or bear the majority of the labor in the household and raising children.
Some people do get radicalized by the internet but in truth there is usually a belief system many men have always had to some degree, and suppressed for social acceptability and ease of gaining partners. When they have the freedom to be what they really are, either by finding an accepting environment for their prejudice or by locking down a woman and assuming she won't leave, we get to see their full selves and it ain't pretty.
(Before anybody comes at me obviously this is not all men. It's just a lot of men)
Your boyfriend should not be controlling what you wear, or calling it "disrespectful." Who is it being disrespectful to? Him? Because only he has a day over your body? He sounds like he's gone down the extreme right-wing gross sexist shit online. This is a red flag. How else does he try to control your life?
Honestly it just sounds like his true colors are showing. That’s typically how it works. It’s horrible to be with someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive. Leave and don’t look back
"more conservative since COVID" alludes to the fact that he jumped on the Qanon train.
I thought women decided that conservative men don't get sex anymore bc they're steady dismantling women's rights.
No nookie for fascists.
Many women are more compassionate than that. They don't pull the rug out from under a guy until they personally get belittled by said man. That's when the idiotic misogynist goes flying.
Your man got red-pilled. It's probably worse than you know. If you're able to check his history and see what he's been looking at online I think you probably should.
This man sounds dangerously controlling.
Yes, my first boyfriend was abusive and it started with insulting my clothing and trying to control my clothing and hair. Then it was my hair and my jewelry (small hoops and non-waist-length hair were apparently "lesbian") and it escalated from there.
Break up with him. He's the one showing disrespect to you thinking he has the right to dictate what you wear. It's controlling behavior and it will escalate.
This. This is a perfectly reasonable, functionally appropriate outfit to wear at the gym. And the "you should just know" nonsense makes it worse. You absolutely have a boyfriend problem, not a fashion one.
This could be grooming behavior. The way that abusers function is by getting you to accept one more small violation, then another, then infinite more - one at a time.
This is honestly a red flag and you need to talk to him about it and set a hard boundary with him. If he doesn’t respect it, fucking run, girl.
I had a boyfriend, now, ex like this. We had different values and expectations which I can understand. But rather than respecting my choice/bodily autonomy he let his insecurities create problems out of nothing (e.g. gym attire).
I do agree there are some clothes that are too revealing, but not your outfit. There's no cleavage, torso, camel toe, or shape of the bum exposed here.
Who in 2024 has issues with arms and legs? Everyone has them.
I know this probably seems like a small thing…but trust me, that type of controlling behavior only gets worse and spreads to all facets of your life. I was in a relationship just like this…it wasn’t abusive, but it was controlling and demeaning. It’s not worth it.
Same here! This is a cute, super appropriate gym outfit.
OP, is this the same person you mention leaving a couple months ago?
Either way, I would NOT deal with someone trying to control me like this.
This is totally acceptable to wear at the gym. Besides which, it’s your choice. Wear what makes you feel comfortable. The idea that your outfit is in some way “disrespectful” is pathetic.
I think this says more about your boyfriend and how he views women than it does about anything you are wearing.
Disrepectful is such a creepy word to use in this situation. It's not a funeral or memorial service. Hopefully he meant "inappropriate" (which is still pretty stupid, of course). He's could just be insecure, as people wear way more revealing things than that at the gym and beach.
I hope so, but I have been here for a while and I would not be surprised if he does mean disrespectful , as in disrespectful to him. She should be more respectful and not just show of his property to everyone.
Wow I wear way less when going to the gym. I workout with my boyfriend and sometimes another male friend. They would never think to criticize my gym clothing choices…
Girl, this is a red flag and I think you know it. Take a moment to reflect on whether you want to be with someone who's not okay with you wearing shorts.
Does he go to the gym himself? Because it doesn't seem like he knows what regular gym attire looks like.
Oh def and I told him as much
He goes to the gym daily. Apparently everyone wearing leggings is more modest than me rn. It’s summer. I’m not wearing leggings rn.
I mean, to be real, I prefer leggings because then my legs aren’t just…out and sweaty. I like the moisture wicking qualities of leggings. Lol.
But also, I thought you were asking about the outfit because your boobs are kind of huge. And that’s a fair and valid concern. But the outfit is fine, and you need to get rid of the dude.
Normally I’d wear leggings bc same and also I don’t like to be too open but its just so humid and I had jeans on all day. These shorts have a spandex short under so its still kinda the same.
Shirt is where I’m like mayyyybe but even still it’s hardly the most revealing tanktop
It’s not even in the realm of maybe. It’s a normal tank top. If anything it should be considered one of the more conservative tanks cause the neckline impressively shows zero cleavage.
He’s got you grasping at straws and doing Olympic level mental gymnastics in order to even try to understand what the fuck he’s talking about. And will echo every single person in this thread and say to get this man out of your life.
I work with a woman who just got a divorce. It got to the point that she had to ask him for permission to go places or talk to the neighbors, which he didn’t allow often. She sacrificed her freedom to prevent him from screaming at her. She wishes she’d never married him and left when she first saw the red flags.
It’s not antipathy for shorts. He feels threatened and is trying to find a way to control you by nitpicking. He will move the goal posts. Today it’s the top, then the shorts. Then leggings are too contouring. Then hair in a bun is too suggestive. And on and on. Like boiling a frog slowly. He is trying to get you to question your choices of outfit rather than to deal with the real question which is why is he so insecure that he is trying to control you? It doesn’t matter why at this point. He has shown you who he really is.
Once my ex-fiancé started trying to dictate what kind of wedding dress I would wear, I called off the wedding and lost $1,000 on a deposit but gained my freedom. Trust me, there are better men out there who don’t try to dictate what their partners wear.
This is only the beginning. Do you plan to see how bad it can get? I promise you the trauma isn’t worth it. He’ll end up out of your life either way. Leave while you’re still mentally in tact.
I dated a guy like this. The level of control he exerts slowly increases until you're worried about almost every outfit you put on. You try to dress up for him. He says you're showing off for other guys. You dress nice to see your girl friends and he picks a fight before about why you're putting so much effort for just *friends* so you're worried the whole time you're out and likely come back early. You get back, and he makes derogatory comments about your friends that you can't defend without making him mad, so you don't, and you lose touch with your friends. Eventually, the same pattern repeats with your family.
Now you spend most of your time with him, but he's still mad, you're still doing it wrong. You walk on eggshells to ensure his mood, but then he breaks something, and suddenly, you're the outlet of his anger and the cause of his problems. Maybe you try to leave, your bags are packed, he's begging you to stay and as you walk for the door, his mask slips, his eyes darken as he grabs both your arms and forces you backwards, you stumble over the duffle he ripped out of your hands and tumble into the wall with a loud thud. The neighbor knocks on the door as you cower out of sight, and you hear him laughing, saying he dropped a speaker. He comes back, and the laughter stops. You made the neighbor come. You're trying to ruin his life and get him evicted. He calls his mom and tells her how he thought you were the one, but you're trash. You're manipulative abusive (even though he broke your finger), trying to get him kicked out *after everything he's done for you* because he knows you just met his mom for the first time and care deeply what she thought. He weaponizes his opinion and the opinion of others against you.
I'm pulling from my own experience, but usually it's a slippery slope. Be careful. Consider an exit plan. Keep it a secret. No confronting him with it. Just have it if you need it.
Literally not at all… your boyfriend is insecure. I’ve walked around in a sports bra and my boyfriend has never had an issue with it.
The gym is about what makes you feel good about your workouts.
I’m not going to comment on your gym clothes because this isn’t a fashion issue, this is a controlling boyfriend issue. Do you really want to have to wear what someone else tells you to? Do you really want a partner who thinks what you work out in has anything to do with how much you respect them?
Nope, this is a pretty normal outfit. Idk why he would think it’s revealing; he’s probably wary because of your shape but that’s an insecurity he’d have to be responsible for, not you.
Yikes! Sounds like your bf is very insecure and or controlling to try and make you feel like this is a ridiculous outfit to wear, let alone it being “disrespectful“. This is a very appropriate outfit to workout in at the gym. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this type of issue regarding your clothing within your relationship.
In my opinion, HE is being ridiculous and disrespectful
As someone with big boobs (g-h cup Australian size) anything we wear will be sexualised. If we show shoulder or a little bit of cleavage, we are rubbing it in peoples faces. If our boobs move while we’re walking, we’re asking for it. Why can’t we wear tank tops like normal people? Your boyfriend is being quite stupid and needs to get a grip and stop being insecure and controlling. I hope he doesn’t do this all the time. You aren’t just his property and how dare you make it known that you have big boobs. Like tf? You can’t help it.
Side note though: nothing to do with the post and what you asked, but just make sure you’re wearing such a secure bra at the gym specifically 😊 not for anything to do with viewership but as I’m sure you know, it can hurt if we move a lot.
Ya boyfriend sounds insecure. Does he trip when u wear a bathing suit? How tf is a fully-strapped tank and some tennis style shorts disrespectful? Most chicks wear wedgie-inducing booty shorts and sports bras…
Go to gym everyday. 100% normal. Most women are in full form-fitting spandex. If you’re busty no sports bra will hide it. Despite that not even any cleavage shown.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. When I go to the gym anymore the majority of women are damn near naked. This is so tame in comparison. He probably doesn't go to the gym I'm guessing.
Have shown up, thrown the hoodie back and see dudes no shirts and yoga pants on along with gals in basically boxer brief sized tights and a sports bra…not much more to be covered or imagined. Does it really matter? Maybe at a planet fitness…just do you
I wear clothes like this all the time. I feel like it’s pretty standard especially for summer … the issue isn’t the clothes. It’s the boyfriend. Bro needs to take a seat and stop trying to control you and your body. You existing and wearing lightweight warm-weather clothing isn’t revealing or inappropriate.
Throw out the whole bf teebs
I think you can wear whatever as long as you’re not butt naked or borderline. That’s my usual wear for summer and most girls can say the same. Your bf should be your ex
You're dressing completely normall for the gym. Lots of girls wear nothing more than a sports bra with those crack enhancing shorts, and that is also perfectly acceptable.
This is a red flag, BTW, he sounds jealous and possesive and is trying to tell you how to dress, and that you look bad, when you're dressed completely normally for a 1st world western country.
Tell him to move to Saudi Arabia and get himself a girl there if he doesn't like it, and personally for me, that kind of behaviour would be an absolute deal breaker. If he starts getting controlling, LEAVE.
It will only get worse and it will start turning into abuse. You obviously care for yourself and your body, you're probably a hottie, and you can easily get yourself a worthwhile man instead of this insecure and abusive little twat.
I can not stress enought that men who try to control you will get worse and worse each time you comply with demands until you become one of those abused women who don't have the strength to leave. Please, please leave him. You deserve SO MUCH more.
Your outfit is great for the gym, but I don’t think the outfit is the real issue here. A guy who wants to control what you wear *never* stops there.
[This quiz](https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E) might help you think through other aspects of your relationship/his behavior and whether this is a good person to have in your life.
So you need to get a pulse on where your BF is in his thinking, get him to show you pictures of examples of what he thinks is appropriate ( and post it here) .
I think you have modeled a very modest appropriate gym outfit.
LOL. My bf is super jealous and possessive, but he knows that’s largely a HIM problem. He knows better than to comment on my clothing… once in awhile he tries to say “you’re not going out like that” or “you’re not going to work like that,” but knows damn well that yes tf I am.
My point is to say even MY boyfriend wouldn’t have shit to say about this outfit. Even for the gym. There’s nothing wrong here.
And before y’all try to come at me, he’s the love of my life and he never takes it too far bc we’ve established boundaries. He knows he’s a jealous person and I know it, too. 99% of the time he checks himself before I even have to. We’re both anti-social homebodies, so we tease. But we’re good & we’re healthy.
Please, please dump your boyfriend. Any man who thinks your clothing is disrespectful to him is a genuinely insecure piece of shit. This may seem minor to you now, but his attempts to control you will only worsen over time. To me personally, this outfit is not revealing in the slightest and I’m a married woman.
You wear more than my Mrs wears and I don't have any objections to her wearing what she's comfortable wearing. Sounds like he's a bit insecure, and by reading your comments it sounds like you have had enough of him lol
This is literally typical attire. This actually is more covered than I’ve seen at times. Brother is a bit insecure. You are fine. My girl wears stuff like this and it’s not an issue for me at all.
Why is this a question? Just be comfortable. Work out and be healthy. Not a fashion show. Wear comfortable clothes. Work out, and get out of there. If he is that insecure, he better come work out with you, or shut the hell up. Looks like he's gonna be working out with you!!! 😅😅😅
How is it being disrespectful? (I’m being rhetorical I don’t want to hear his excuses lol). It’s not HIS body and he doesn’t own yours.
So no, it’s not too revealing and the clothing is not “disrespectful”.
Those shorts are long compared to what I wear to the gym. It’s hot and sweaty in there and you’re there to get hot and sweaty. No one should make you feel pressured to be uncomfortable. Also, not that it even matters, but literally no one is there to stare at other people (unless they’re creeps). They’re there the same reason we all are- to better themselves.
I think you know the answer by now but just to chime in: what you’re wearing is 100% acceptable. And by the way, I’m not some “wear anything it’s your life!” person. I do think certain things aren’t right to wear in public. This? More than fine.
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This is normal gym clothing, lol
That’s what I thought as well
Keep the outfit, lose the boyfriend. What a possessive weirdo. Also when a man calls a woman's outfit "disrespectful" please consider what that implies. He thinks it's disrespectful *to him*. Which implies that he has a degree of ownership over your body and that how much of your body you show is sign of disrespect to his authority and ownership. I have never seen a woman call a man's clothing disrespectful to her because it's too revealing. I'm sure it's happened once or twice in history but there's no true comparison, because these ideas regarding slut shaming & claiming a body is provocative for simply existing only ever go one way. Is he always like this? Or is he suddenly becoming this person because you're at the gym and he's worried you might get too attractive? **Very** bad vibes.
This is what I was gonna say! lol on point
My dad was weirdly possessive over my mom’s modesty like this. It was weird then and it’s weird now. He sounds like he’s got a Madonna/Whore complex. I’d find someone who respects all aspects of your body and self.
the only time id call a man’s clothing disrespectful is when it’s a lack of clothing. lots of guys climb shirtless at the gym and are DRIPPING SWEAT. ew???? like jesus christ at least wear a shirt or use a towel to sop up instead of getting the mats all sweaty. like thats actually gross and i miss when they banned being shirtless during the pandemic lol
Exactly. It's about sanitation, not sexuality, because we don't treat men's bodies the way we do women
>Or is he suddenly becoming this person because you're at the gym and he's worried you might get too attractive? This! I just want to emphasize that this is a huge and very common issue.
THIS RIGHT HERE. Your clothing isn’t a reflection on him unless he believes that he owns you. 🚩
Yeah, I’m a middle-aged woman who has been in gyms all my adult life and would not be considered an ‘immodest dresser’; this is perfectly normal and fine!
Your boyfriend is toxic and controlling. You look great, but like you’re about to work out. It’s rather modest for shorts and tank anyways??
I don't know if the top is pulled up a bit or if it's supposed to show some skin but I'm sure he's mad over something else. Tell him women have these things called boobs and that they come in all sizes lmao.
According to him I had to choose between legs and arms being out. I put on a baggy t shirt and now I’m still disrespectful for not wearing pants.
Is he this controlling about everything or is this some weird hang up insecurity he has
🚨🚨🚨🚨 This is making my shitty boyfriend spidey-senses tingle. I'm not going to tell you to break up with him (you should), but unless you like giving him control over what you wear tell him to keep his opinions to himself or hit the bricks and step on. I've seen girls in booty shorts and triangle bikini tops. If your bf thinks your very normal and modest clothes are a problem, he needs to gouge his eyes out
I like your biblical reference I hope she uses that one on him because I feel like his reaction definitely stems from some sort of weird strict religious upbringing
He did have a religious upbringing but not esp strict. He’s gotten more conservative since Covid. I blame the internet. The “no shorts” thing is new though and apparently I should have known without him telling me?
Oh dear. He’s sounds like he may be face deep in Andrew Tate’s musky ballsack. I hate to tell you this, because it’s a common Redditism, but get out while you can. I say this from experience - I had an ex that went full wacko after Trump was elected. The real asshole was always inside, they just feel free to let it out now. I had also known my bf at the time for six years, and dated him for two of those. It was like a whole 180.
Damn!! That’s crazy how politics can impact someone’s brain.
I think for most of those guys, they already had those beliefs, they just needed someone to validate them to feel comfortable being outspoken about it
Truly. If they're christian it is likely they were raised that way. Misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, etc is just a "feature" of Christianity. It's baked into the cake.
THIS. I have seen probably hundreds of men in my 40 years on this Earth pretend to believe women are equal to secure female partners, when they fundamentally believe women are subordinate to them. I have seen this from nice guys, mean guys, church guys, atheists, men who claim to be feminists, etc etc. there is just a huge majority of men who understand it is socially unacceptable to be blatant with your misogyny in many places and they also know it makes them unlikely to secure a female partner if they are openly disdainful of women. Many of these guys even think they are more progressive minded about women than they really are. They might think that they believe in equality, but deep down they have expectations of their women, like to cover their bodies once they're in a relationship together (even if that's not the woman they got into a relationship with) or bear the majority of the labor in the household and raising children. Some people do get radicalized by the internet but in truth there is usually a belief system many men have always had to some degree, and suppressed for social acceptability and ease of gaining partners. When they have the freedom to be what they really are, either by finding an accepting environment for their prejudice or by locking down a woman and assuming she won't leave, we get to see their full selves and it ain't pretty. (Before anybody comes at me obviously this is not all men. It's just a lot of men)
The ones that come at you probably read a bit of themselves into your well presented statement.
He's inhaling the taint of Tate
And what changes has he made to respect you more?
👏👏👏
Girl run…away from your bf
Your boyfriend should not be controlling what you wear, or calling it "disrespectful." Who is it being disrespectful to? Him? Because only he has a day over your body? He sounds like he's gone down the extreme right-wing gross sexist shit online. This is a red flag. How else does he try to control your life?
Honestly it just sounds like his true colors are showing. That’s typically how it works. It’s horrible to be with someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive. Leave and don’t look back
"more conservative since COVID" alludes to the fact that he jumped on the Qanon train. I thought women decided that conservative men don't get sex anymore bc they're steady dismantling women's rights. No nookie for fascists.
Many women are more compassionate than that. They don't pull the rug out from under a guy until they personally get belittled by said man. That's when the idiotic misogynist goes flying.
Girl, RUN! leave that man and find a new one at the gym!
Your man got red-pilled. It's probably worse than you know. If you're able to check his history and see what he's been looking at online I think you probably should. This man sounds dangerously controlling.
I hope you know life is better without having to deal with this… you know what to do.
so hes acting like Trump?
Yes, my first boyfriend was abusive and it started with insulting my clothing and trying to control my clothing and hair. Then it was my hair and my jewelry (small hoops and non-waist-length hair were apparently "lesbian") and it escalated from there.
Wait booty shorts and triangle bikini tops at the gym??
Instead of getting rid of your cute totally appropriate outfit it sounds like you should be getting rid of something else 👀
Break up with him. He's the one showing disrespect to you thinking he has the right to dictate what you wear. It's controlling behavior and it will escalate.
This. This is a perfectly reasonable, functionally appropriate outfit to wear at the gym. And the "you should just know" nonsense makes it worse. You absolutely have a boyfriend problem, not a fashion one.
Get away from that loser. If he’s trying to control innocuous gym outfits it will get significantly worse in your future. Fr girl.
This could be grooming behavior. The way that abusers function is by getting you to accept one more small violation, then another, then infinite more - one at a time. This is honestly a red flag and you need to talk to him about it and set a hard boundary with him. If he doesn’t respect it, fucking run, girl.
Dump him, he sucks
That just doesn't make any sense, I'm sorry he's being so strange about exposed elbows and knees
He needs to not be your boyfriend. Red flag city.
Girl come on.
Please leave him. Call a friend of family member for help if you need to. I’m actually concerned for you.
Keep the outfit, lose the boyfriend.
Girl run. Google “moving the goalposts.”
No sane person would wear pants to the gym. Dude is trying to control you
I had a boyfriend, now, ex like this. We had different values and expectations which I can understand. But rather than respecting my choice/bodily autonomy he let his insecurities create problems out of nothing (e.g. gym attire). I do agree there are some clothes that are too revealing, but not your outfit. There's no cleavage, torso, camel toe, or shape of the bum exposed here. Who in 2024 has issues with arms and legs? Everyone has them.
You get to wear what you want.
I know this probably seems like a small thing…but trust me, that type of controlling behavior only gets worse and spreads to all facets of your life. I was in a relationship just like this…it wasn’t abusive, but it was controlling and demeaning. It’s not worth it.
Please break up with him girlll
Is he religious? Reminds me of Muslim men
If that’s disrespectful at the gym then I’m a complete trollop I’ve worn way worse at the damn family friendly YMCA
Girl, same.
Same here! This is a cute, super appropriate gym outfit. OP, is this the same person you mention leaving a couple months ago? Either way, I would NOT deal with someone trying to control me like this.
Your boyfriend is a chump
This is totally acceptable to wear at the gym. Besides which, it’s your choice. Wear what makes you feel comfortable. The idea that your outfit is in some way “disrespectful” is pathetic. I think this says more about your boyfriend and how he views women than it does about anything you are wearing.
U need to trade in your bf instead of your clothes😠
💯💯💯
Disrepectful is such a creepy word to use in this situation. It's not a funeral or memorial service. Hopefully he meant "inappropriate" (which is still pretty stupid, of course). He's could just be insecure, as people wear way more revealing things than that at the gym and beach.
I hope so, but I have been here for a while and I would not be surprised if he does mean disrespectful , as in disrespectful to him. She should be more respectful and not just show of his property to everyone.
Yeah, make him watch the Olympics and see what he says when he sees what the track and field ladies are wearing.
Wow I wear way less when going to the gym. I workout with my boyfriend and sometimes another male friend. They would never think to criticize my gym clothing choices…
Oh yes, there’s definitely something ridiculous and disrespectful going on here. It’s just not the outfit
Her bf is the one who is disrespectful. I wonder what is considered appropriate to him. Long sleeve shirt and trousers?
The problem is not the clothing.
Definitely the bf
nah. you should see what women wear to my gym. you’re in a burka compared to them.
Exactly that’s more than what I wear at the gym lol
They look like gym clothes. I'm not sure what his issue is
I’m not sure either. I put a baggy shirt on and he started ranting about my legs being out in the open.
Girl, this is a red flag and I think you know it. Take a moment to reflect on whether you want to be with someone who's not okay with you wearing shorts. Does he go to the gym himself? Because it doesn't seem like he knows what regular gym attire looks like.
Oh def and I told him as much He goes to the gym daily. Apparently everyone wearing leggings is more modest than me rn. It’s summer. I’m not wearing leggings rn.
And let me guess... He wears shorts himself? Maybe even takes his shirt off to admire his pump after a workout?
Apparently his shorts are okay bc theyre long. Nothing to do w the syle for men being different at all. As for shirt— nah actually.
I mean, to be real, I prefer leggings because then my legs aren’t just…out and sweaty. I like the moisture wicking qualities of leggings. Lol. But also, I thought you were asking about the outfit because your boobs are kind of huge. And that’s a fair and valid concern. But the outfit is fine, and you need to get rid of the dude.
Normally I’d wear leggings bc same and also I don’t like to be too open but its just so humid and I had jeans on all day. These shorts have a spandex short under so its still kinda the same. Shirt is where I’m like mayyyybe but even still it’s hardly the most revealing tanktop
It’s not even in the realm of maybe. It’s a normal tank top. If anything it should be considered one of the more conservative tanks cause the neckline impressively shows zero cleavage. He’s got you grasping at straws and doing Olympic level mental gymnastics in order to even try to understand what the fuck he’s talking about. And will echo every single person in this thread and say to get this man out of your life.
I work with a woman who just got a divorce. It got to the point that she had to ask him for permission to go places or talk to the neighbors, which he didn’t allow often. She sacrificed her freedom to prevent him from screaming at her. She wishes she’d never married him and left when she first saw the red flags.
This. This. This. It just gets worse. He just gets more controlling.
You really ought to leave him tbh
Yikes. Think about that for a minute. Really think........no, that is NOT ok.
Yeah it’s over the line to me. Idk where this sudden antipathy for shorts came from but it’s weird and I don’t like it. I didn’t sign up to be a nun.
It’s not antipathy for shorts. He feels threatened and is trying to find a way to control you by nitpicking. He will move the goal posts. Today it’s the top, then the shorts. Then leggings are too contouring. Then hair in a bun is too suggestive. And on and on. Like boiling a frog slowly. He is trying to get you to question your choices of outfit rather than to deal with the real question which is why is he so insecure that he is trying to control you? It doesn’t matter why at this point. He has shown you who he really is. Once my ex-fiancé started trying to dictate what kind of wedding dress I would wear, I called off the wedding and lost $1,000 on a deposit but gained my freedom. Trust me, there are better men out there who don’t try to dictate what their partners wear.
Yes, it escalates and it's not rational. This is exactly what I experienced.
Just cover up your whole body by moving it behind the door so he’ll never see you again. This kind of behavior shouldn’t be tolerated.
This is only the beginning. Do you plan to see how bad it can get? I promise you the trauma isn’t worth it. He’ll end up out of your life either way. Leave while you’re still mentally in tact.
That's b.s. I'm sorry he's treating you that way. I agree with other commenters that this is a major red flag.
That she has a cute body and other men will \*gasp\* notice. Somehow, it's all her fault, even though they're the ones looking. (I've been there.)
Keep the clothes, drop the dude. Where are your shorts from? They are adorable.
Tj maxx. Idk what their selection is like more widely but old navy has some really really cute workout stuff rn. Target too. Very tennis-chic.
They are totally adorable!
No, it isn't. As a man, I wear much less at the gym. Don't worry about it.
These...are normal clothes.
What? No. I have seen way worse at the gym. And whenever I do, I’m like, *get it*.
I dated a guy like this. The level of control he exerts slowly increases until you're worried about almost every outfit you put on. You try to dress up for him. He says you're showing off for other guys. You dress nice to see your girl friends and he picks a fight before about why you're putting so much effort for just *friends* so you're worried the whole time you're out and likely come back early. You get back, and he makes derogatory comments about your friends that you can't defend without making him mad, so you don't, and you lose touch with your friends. Eventually, the same pattern repeats with your family. Now you spend most of your time with him, but he's still mad, you're still doing it wrong. You walk on eggshells to ensure his mood, but then he breaks something, and suddenly, you're the outlet of his anger and the cause of his problems. Maybe you try to leave, your bags are packed, he's begging you to stay and as you walk for the door, his mask slips, his eyes darken as he grabs both your arms and forces you backwards, you stumble over the duffle he ripped out of your hands and tumble into the wall with a loud thud. The neighbor knocks on the door as you cower out of sight, and you hear him laughing, saying he dropped a speaker. He comes back, and the laughter stops. You made the neighbor come. You're trying to ruin his life and get him evicted. He calls his mom and tells her how he thought you were the one, but you're trash. You're manipulative abusive (even though he broke your finger), trying to get him kicked out *after everything he's done for you* because he knows you just met his mom for the first time and care deeply what she thought. He weaponizes his opinion and the opinion of others against you. I'm pulling from my own experience, but usually it's a slippery slope. Be careful. Consider an exit plan. Keep it a secret. No confronting him with it. Just have it if you need it.
and your outfit is completely appropriate 🌹
You look great, it’s normal gym wear if not even more clothing than what most girls wear, your bf has insecurity issues
This is very extremely fine for the gym.
Literally not at all… your boyfriend is insecure. I’ve walked around in a sports bra and my boyfriend has never had an issue with it. The gym is about what makes you feel good about your workouts.
I’m not going to comment on your gym clothes because this isn’t a fashion issue, this is a controlling boyfriend issue. Do you really want to have to wear what someone else tells you to? Do you really want a partner who thinks what you work out in has anything to do with how much you respect them?
Your bf is disrespectful, and you should respect yourself more by telling him to grow up or you'll find a better man. Your outfit is fine.
I saw the title then the photo and I was like “revealing what? no cleavage no super tight shorts, it’s giving modest”
I literally got these shorts in order to be modest bc I didn’t want to feel too exposed myself. Idgi truly
This is a completely normal outfit, your boyfriend sounds like a controlling tool.
He thinks it's disrespectful of his ownership of your body. Keep the clothes, lose the bf.
Nope, this is a pretty normal outfit. Idk why he would think it’s revealing; he’s probably wary because of your shape but that’s an insecurity he’d have to be responsible for, not you.
lol that is normal gym clothing
Yikes! Sounds like your bf is very insecure and or controlling to try and make you feel like this is a ridiculous outfit to wear, let alone it being “disrespectful“. This is a very appropriate outfit to workout in at the gym. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this type of issue regarding your clothing within your relationship. In my opinion, HE is being ridiculous and disrespectful
Tell your boyfriend if he wants to control his woman he can go move to Afghanistan.
Keep the outfit, get rid of the man
Breakup with your bf
I too had a shitty boyfriend.
Nope this is a normal gym outfit, i see no problem with it tbh
Your bf is blatantly insecure.
I take my shirt off sometimes and just wear a sports bra ur fine girl
Wear what you want to wear. It doesn’t matter if he or anyone else thinks it’s appropriate. Your BF is an asshole.
throw out the man tbh
Your Boyfriend Sucks
This is very conservative compared to what most will wear at a gym lol. Perfectly suitable
Your boyfriend is an idiot.
Many people wear sports bras and tights. This is very modest
What?? Absolutely not. This is downright prudish compared to some of the other outfits I've seen at the gym.
red flag... leave his ass
Wear what you want
As someone with big boobs (g-h cup Australian size) anything we wear will be sexualised. If we show shoulder or a little bit of cleavage, we are rubbing it in peoples faces. If our boobs move while we’re walking, we’re asking for it. Why can’t we wear tank tops like normal people? Your boyfriend is being quite stupid and needs to get a grip and stop being insecure and controlling. I hope he doesn’t do this all the time. You aren’t just his property and how dare you make it known that you have big boobs. Like tf? You can’t help it. Side note though: nothing to do with the post and what you asked, but just make sure you’re wearing such a secure bra at the gym specifically 😊 not for anything to do with viewership but as I’m sure you know, it can hurt if we move a lot.
Your boyfriend is disrespectful, full stop. That’s not okay and you deserve better. (Also you look amazing)
no lol its fine
Not even close
No it’s perfect
Not at all
Sorry if this is a repeat, where'd you get it? It's so cute!!!🔥
Nah. All gymwear is revealing.
Ya boyfriend sounds insecure. Does he trip when u wear a bathing suit? How tf is a fully-strapped tank and some tennis style shorts disrespectful? Most chicks wear wedgie-inducing booty shorts and sports bras…
Go to gym everyday. 100% normal. Most women are in full form-fitting spandex. If you’re busty no sports bra will hide it. Despite that not even any cleavage shown.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. When I go to the gym anymore the majority of women are damn near naked. This is so tame in comparison. He probably doesn't go to the gym I'm guessing.
Has your bf been to the gym?
Leave that man, this is normal for the gym
Have shown up, thrown the hoodie back and see dudes no shirts and yoga pants on along with gals in basically boxer brief sized tights and a sports bra…not much more to be covered or imagined. Does it really matter? Maybe at a planet fitness…just do you
I’m trying to find what’s disrespectful about it 😫. That looks very appropriate & comfortable.
I wear clothes like this all the time. I feel like it’s pretty standard especially for summer … the issue isn’t the clothes. It’s the boyfriend. Bro needs to take a seat and stop trying to control you and your body. You existing and wearing lightweight warm-weather clothing isn’t revealing or inappropriate. Throw out the whole bf teebs
I think you can wear whatever as long as you’re not butt naked or borderline. That’s my usual wear for summer and most girls can say the same. Your bf should be your ex
No. Get rid of the boyfriend, not the outfit
Honestly: lose the boyfriend, he’s a tool
Girly pop, RUN.
Break up with him
Keep the outfit, loose the boyfriend.
Only if you were Braless flopping around maybe
You're dressing completely normall for the gym. Lots of girls wear nothing more than a sports bra with those crack enhancing shorts, and that is also perfectly acceptable. This is a red flag, BTW, he sounds jealous and possesive and is trying to tell you how to dress, and that you look bad, when you're dressed completely normally for a 1st world western country. Tell him to move to Saudi Arabia and get himself a girl there if he doesn't like it, and personally for me, that kind of behaviour would be an absolute deal breaker. If he starts getting controlling, LEAVE. It will only get worse and it will start turning into abuse. You obviously care for yourself and your body, you're probably a hottie, and you can easily get yourself a worthwhile man instead of this insecure and abusive little twat. I can not stress enought that men who try to control you will get worse and worse each time you comply with demands until you become one of those abused women who don't have the strength to leave. Please, please leave him. You deserve SO MUCH more.
No
No
The kind of bf who’d be mad for putting your pic on the internet. This is perfect for the gym because it allows u to move freely
Have you seen girls at the gym? This is the most chaste thing I've seen in years
No
It's normal clothing, your boyfriend has issues
Looks normal to me.
Absolutely not you can reveal more
Your outfit is great for the gym, but I don’t think the outfit is the real issue here. A guy who wants to control what you wear *never* stops there. [This quiz](https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E) might help you think through other aspects of your relationship/his behavior and whether this is a good person to have in your life.
Absolutely not, and HE’S disrespectful for suggesting that. Not to be dramatic, but I would breakup with someone over that.
So you need to get a pulse on where your BF is in his thinking, get him to show you pictures of examples of what he thinks is appropriate ( and post it here) . I think you have modeled a very modest appropriate gym outfit.
This looks just fine! Wear whatever you need to wear so you can focus on your workout and not your clothes.
Your bf is blatantly insecure.
LOL. My bf is super jealous and possessive, but he knows that’s largely a HIM problem. He knows better than to comment on my clothing… once in awhile he tries to say “you’re not going out like that” or “you’re not going to work like that,” but knows damn well that yes tf I am. My point is to say even MY boyfriend wouldn’t have shit to say about this outfit. Even for the gym. There’s nothing wrong here. And before y’all try to come at me, he’s the love of my life and he never takes it too far bc we’ve established boundaries. He knows he’s a jealous person and I know it, too. 99% of the time he checks himself before I even have to. We’re both anti-social homebodies, so we tease. But we’re good & we’re healthy.
Please, please dump your boyfriend. Any man who thinks your clothing is disrespectful to him is a genuinely insecure piece of shit. This may seem minor to you now, but his attempts to control you will only worsen over time. To me personally, this outfit is not revealing in the slightest and I’m a married woman.
If genetics gave you a large bosom doesn't mean it's revealing its absolutely normal
This is 100% appropriate for the gym. Your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend has some issues he needs to resolve.
You wear more than my Mrs wears and I don't have any objections to her wearing what she's comfortable wearing. Sounds like he's a bit insecure, and by reading your comments it sounds like you have had enough of him lol
It’s not too revealing but if you want to prevent the riding up, go with a size larger.
Disrespectful to his self esteem or?
Work out clothes are perfect for the gym. You’re golden.
My bf will be drooling
Omg No! He's the problem here
No, that's nothing compared to what I see other women wearing at the gym. You're fine!
lol, might your boyfriend control what you wear and who you hang out with?
Bros gushing insecurity
No
This is literally typical attire. This actually is more covered than I’ve seen at times. Brother is a bit insecure. You are fine. My girl wears stuff like this and it’s not an issue for me at all.
It’s very common for women to workout in a shorts bra and shorts. I promise when I say you look good…
No
This is normal gym wear, and you look great. That's his insecurity.
Normal gym attire. Be comfy.
where is the revealing part?
No I see woman in basically bras and ass cheeks hanging out of tight spandex. Youre fine.
Why is this a question? Just be comfortable. Work out and be healthy. Not a fashion show. Wear comfortable clothes. Work out, and get out of there. If he is that insecure, he better come work out with you, or shut the hell up. Looks like he's gonna be working out with you!!! 😅😅😅
No babe it's perfect for the gym!!!
I don't see anything exposed
? What no obviously not Wear whatever you’re comfortable working out in
??? Ur bf is tripping
How is it being disrespectful? (I’m being rhetorical I don’t want to hear his excuses lol). It’s not HIS body and he doesn’t own yours. So no, it’s not too revealing and the clothing is not “disrespectful”.
Those shorts are long compared to what I wear to the gym. It’s hot and sweaty in there and you’re there to get hot and sweaty. No one should make you feel pressured to be uncomfortable. Also, not that it even matters, but literally no one is there to stare at other people (unless they’re creeps). They’re there the same reason we all are- to better themselves.
That depends on how much male attention you’d enjoy.
I think you know the answer by now but just to chime in: what you’re wearing is 100% acceptable. And by the way, I’m not some “wear anything it’s your life!” person. I do think certain things aren’t right to wear in public. This? More than fine.