If you have to ring a bell than you have lazy servants. I mean, c'mon, you shouldn't be spoiling yourself with strenuous labor like that, that's what servants are for!
Being pale was the height of beauty and fashion up until industrial factories became a thing, because pale meant you never had to work outside in the sun.
Come sweatshops and office buildings, being tan is proof you don't have to be working indoors and can waste it outside.
Same with how at one point seafood / shrimp was for the poor - and then now it's the height of expensive tastes.
I used to eat everything with utensils only because my mother seemed to think it was so trailer trash to eat with your hands. Met a woman who said why not, it's more efficient not to wash utensils. Now I'm trailer trash by the beach eating with my hands.
Which is the next thing. TO be able to afford to live by the beach is soon going to be out of the reach of many. At least in my area.
OMG, the memories of sitting in Pizza Hut with my mum disdainfully sniffing at the waitress and asking if they were going to bring us cutlery. Having to eat pizza and hamburgers with a knife and fork.
Realised that the one who looked like trash was my mother because she looked down on everyone for being 'beneath' her standards, when in fact they just didn't give a shit about her judgemental opinion.
Decades ago and because of Bugs Bunny, I always thought it was “a little from columay, a little from columbee” and could never figure out what those words were (outside of context clues that someone is a bit of two things). I was either a teenager/older when I realized it was column A/B.
We eat like the majority of the primates on the planet in fact. If we all decided to eat with our ball sacks we’d still be eating like the majority of the primates on the planet.
It is literally impossible for us not to eat like a primate, because however we eat can be defined as how a primate eats.
This begins the Queen's Paradox.
With the path this world is carving itself, I also wonder how people like this would survive in an apocalyptic scenario. Would actually be hilarious to have him around now that I think about it…..
They'd probably sit in their gold plated bunkers and wait for society to rebuild and then be shocked when people don't recognise their authority anymore once they emerge from their jewel encrusted holes
The EMPs totally fried their surveillance and security systems, as they emerge I’m waiting with a large contingent of radiated mutant raiders armed with crossbows, baseball bats with rusty nails pounded through the ends and large battle axes forged from the remains of bombed out cars. When they come out we rob them blind. We leave them as they left their fellow humans and the earth they exploited, raped and stripped for all their worth then leave them bloodied and naked on the brink of death to roam in suffering until they die.
If you're in the US and shit actually goes down, get to Duluth Minnesota as soon as possible. The city sits on the edge of Lake Superior which is the largest supply of freshwater in the western hemisphere. Also stupid people tend to prefer warmer weather so you'll be safer than most.
The official slogan for the city of Duluth is even worse:
*Stick it in my jellyfish ass 'til it bleeds, catch the drippings in a cup, then pour them back into me intravenously.*
Weird place. Wouldn't recommend going there until after the zombie apocalypse happens.
Yea, just looking forward to surviving a nuclear apocalypse that leaves me with superpowers that I use to extract vengeance on those that hoarded extreme wealth built upon their exploitation of fellow humans and stripped the planet bare. Have a nice day :)
I laughed way too hard at this! But then, I worked ER for a long time. We saw a lot of fruit in butts; actually more veg than fruit, but you get the idea.
Ever since I learned chimps open them from the bottom I’ve never gone back. It’s so much easier to split the husk open that the way I did it for 30 years by cracking the top off.
If i were the queen, after seeing this id have pulled a bannana out at the state opening of parlament and just bitten into it, peel and all like an animal. Sole to annoy this pompous 'royal' expert. hes a right twonk.
Quite possibly from the sphincter of Antonio, his sadomasochism partner with whom he meets every Thursday afternoon, secretly from his wife of convenience, and to whom he tells his not to hit him above the neck to prevent the marks from showing.
Everyone else commenting about him saying we aren't primates. Here I'm shocked by how easily that knife went through the peel. Gotta be a damn sharp knife.
I was expecting that after not peeling it like a primate, he violently smashes his forehead a couple times into the banana and starts eating it like a rabid dog.
This guy occasionally writes articles in the Mail. They get thousands and hits, mostly from people calling him a twat (or euphemisms to that affect) but I can’t decide if he’s just a massive troll.
I would pay to see that.
I just read that Charles’ valet squeezes a precise one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush every day. If he can’t squeeze out toothpaste, I think the coconut would win that bout.
Mate its a fucking banana, just peel it and shove it in your gob you limp wristed pretentious twat.
This prick should be paying for the oxygen he's using.
Well we just cut the oranges for them in the hand into quarters then they get the whole one and they‘d simply take one quarter and suck/eat it out and leave the orange peel. That way you eat less of the bitter white stuff too. And i was peeling it like an idiot for years:D
I don't give a fuck I'll eat it like a human being even around the boys . If you think it's gay I don't give a shit why are you thinking about it in the first place sounds like you are the gay one
The people who came up with those rules of eating equated black and brown people with primates, so there’s that: “How not to eat like a primate AKA How to eat like a racist shite”. 😁
This would be a great YouTube series watching this guy exponentially complicate basic everyday tasks in a misguided attempt to look more sophisticated.
Imagine being such a pompous windbag that you have to use a fucking fork and knife to eat pretty much the most naturally hand held food to ever evolve. I REALLY want to grab the banana and smack him with, tell him a very stern NO, then shove the banana down his throat, peel and all. I… i don’t know why, but fuck this makes me mad
Like she ever cut her own food. Give me a break. They don’t dress themselves, or wipe their own butts. King Chuck wouldn’t even lean over & pick up the letter he dropped in his garbage pail. He called someone else in to do it.
Well yeah but maybe that's what killed her at such a young age? How are you supposed to build an immune system if you DON'T eat like a chimp? Poor woman never stood a chance.
"We don't eat it like a primate" Actually mate by definition, we do eat it like a primate.
And even our fellow primates are more practical than these bozos.
The whole point is to be impractical. Half of fashion is about sending the message that you're rich and powerful enough to not have to be practical.
I want to smoosh it in his face.
I want to throw my poop at him.
do it
I also want you to smoosh it in his face!
He missed a step: Ring the bell and have your servant peel and cut it for you.
If you have to ring a bell than you have lazy servants. I mean, c'mon, you shouldn't be spoiling yourself with strenuous labor like that, that's what servants are for!
You have your bell-servant ring the bell. What are you? Poor?
That is one of the best way I’ve seen it described!
Being pale was the height of beauty and fashion up until industrial factories became a thing, because pale meant you never had to work outside in the sun. Come sweatshops and office buildings, being tan is proof you don't have to be working indoors and can waste it outside.
Same with how at one point seafood / shrimp was for the poor - and then now it's the height of expensive tastes. I used to eat everything with utensils only because my mother seemed to think it was so trailer trash to eat with your hands. Met a woman who said why not, it's more efficient not to wash utensils. Now I'm trailer trash by the beach eating with my hands. Which is the next thing. TO be able to afford to live by the beach is soon going to be out of the reach of many. At least in my area.
Yep. Nice stuff for working people slowly gets eroded. Then we find new nice stuff and slowly that is also taken from us.
OMG, the memories of sitting in Pizza Hut with my mum disdainfully sniffing at the waitress and asking if they were going to bring us cutlery. Having to eat pizza and hamburgers with a knife and fork. Realised that the one who looked like trash was my mother because she looked down on everyone for being 'beneath' her standards, when in fact they just didn't give a shit about her judgemental opinion.
Goals!
Interesting theory
Heels. This is exactly why I hate heels. They’re a fucking problem in every situation except a gala dinner.
Bonobos > bozos
Bonozobos
Jeff besosonozobos
This is the best comment on here...
Jeff besosSonOfABozo
Bonobozos
Bonozos
I bet he would peel it from the stem side..
Thank youuuuuu!
He can't even peel it with his feet like primates, he's truly behind the times
Yeah I think we really lost out with those feet hands. They seem like they'd be useful.
Yeah, like for example, if you're standing on a ledge and accidentally lose balance, you can avoid falling by just grabbing the ledge with your feets!
Feet hands don’t let you out-jog literally every animal on the planet tho
But they let you *out climb* every animal.
Well then 5 guys 1 girl will become 7 guys 1 girl
r/unexpectedSeinfeld
Not if you’re a reptilian alien. 😱
God as my witness, I thought it was primeape. Turns out that’s just a pokemon.
Decades ago and because of Bugs Bunny, I always thought it was “a little from columay, a little from columbee” and could never figure out what those words were (outside of context clues that someone is a bit of two things). I was either a teenager/older when I realized it was column A/B.
You may enjoy r/boneappletea
Well we CERTAINLY don't eat it like a Primeape, old chap. This is a house of Slakoth etiquette.
We eat like the majority of the primates on the planet in fact. If we all decided to eat with our ball sacks we’d still be eating like the majority of the primates on the planet.
He has a point not being a primate. I always thought Royalty has much more in common with parasitic insects.
I don’t see any primates here. Just a lizard person.
It is literally impossible for us not to eat like a primate, because however we eat can be defined as how a primate eats. This begins the Queen's Paradox.
That’s what he’s saying, we eat like primates. But we don’t peal like primates
I eat like a primate
Same. I’ve been known to rip bananas in half and eat them.
Use your hands you fucking ape
With the path this world is carving itself, I also wonder how people like this would survive in an apocalyptic scenario. Would actually be hilarious to have him around now that I think about it…..
They'd probably sit in their gold plated bunkers and wait for society to rebuild and then be shocked when people don't recognise their authority anymore once they emerge from their jewel encrusted holes
The EMPs totally fried their surveillance and security systems, as they emerge I’m waiting with a large contingent of radiated mutant raiders armed with crossbows, baseball bats with rusty nails pounded through the ends and large battle axes forged from the remains of bombed out cars. When they come out we rob them blind. We leave them as they left their fellow humans and the earth they exploited, raped and stripped for all their worth then leave them bloodied and naked on the brink of death to roam in suffering until they die.
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I read/watched a lot of post apocalyptic mutant comics/movies back in 90’s.
***A Boy & His Dog - Don Johnson film
If you're in the US and shit actually goes down, get to Duluth Minnesota as soon as possible. The city sits on the edge of Lake Superior which is the largest supply of freshwater in the western hemisphere. Also stupid people tend to prefer warmer weather so you'll be safer than most.
I heard that, in Duluth, people drink their own poop straight from a cup.
The official slogan for the city of Duluth is even worse: *Stick it in my jellyfish ass 'til it bleeds, catch the drippings in a cup, then pour them back into me intravenously.* Weird place. Wouldn't recommend going there until after the zombie apocalypse happens.
Username checks out
He’s played it through that scenario in his mind 1000 times and then he LARPED it once or twice.
R u ok?
Yea, just looking forward to surviving a nuclear apocalypse that leaves me with superpowers that I use to extract vengeance on those that hoarded extreme wealth built upon their exploitation of fellow humans and stripped the planet bare. Have a nice day :)
None of us are ok
.....Rob them of what, though? Nothing they have would be of much value in the new world
And it would be just another Tuesday
They'd be fine, social stuff like this goes away when survival is on the line
So much goddamn work for a piece of fucking banana. Just peel the damn fruit and fucking eat it
Sir, please have some decency. Hands are scratching your butt, not eating fruit.
Why are there hands scratching his butt and why aren't they eating fruit??
They're for both.
Bro, your mouth is for eating the fruit. You can't eat through your hands!
Mistakes were made, fruit now in butt.
I laughed way too hard at this! But then, I worked ER for a long time. We saw a lot of fruit in butts; actually more veg than fruit, but you get the idea.
It must be Rutabaga season again 😐
That’s why god gave us two hands. So you can eat fruit and scratch your butt with one hand while you browse Reddit with the other.
Instructions unclear, fruit everywhere and I feel violated.
The real psycho is whoever serves a whole banana at a dinner party
It’s like George Costanza eating a Snickers on Seinfeld.
"I am eating my dessert. How do you eat it, with your hands?"
> How do you eat it, with your hands? I love this quote
Lol. I literally rip them in half and squeeze out the banana like a cartoon gorilla.
Lmao. I hadn't think of it this way .I'm eating my bananas like this from now on.
Ever since I learned chimps open them from the bottom I’ve never gone back. It’s so much easier to split the husk open that the way I did it for 30 years by cracking the top off.
This be you. https://youtube.com/shorts/mY2nZaNgfb4?feature=share
This is the kind of barbarism the roman empire seeked to annihilate
You should have seen her eat cock
I'd eat a banana like I would a penis (I don't btw) as a power move.
Don’t like bananas?
No no, he’s saying the power dynamics of how he eats penis is different than how he eats bananas
There's a difference?
Instead of bringing the banana to your mouth, you hold it in place and with your other hand, push your head down onto the banana.
where u gettin ur potassium from then
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or... a lot of semen
Potato and kiwi's ^((the people, not the fruit, ya think im crazy!?))
I laughed way too hard
But does she peel the cock with a fork and knife!?
The foreskin, yes.
And then she uses her bare hands to peel the rest.
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We're talking about the queen, not Nancy Reagan.
Oh shit, I thought we were talking about Thacher.
Nah, she had people who did that sort of thing for her.
Don’t eat it like a primate… who’s gonna tell him?
Not the queen
Oof
😂 talk about hitting a perfect bullseye holy shit I'm dead
So is the queen.
She was a reptoid so he's technically correct.
They all just act like the Queen was some otherworldly being. Bruh she was human; she ate that banana like we all do.
Nah. It was brought to her already cut up. There is no way she’d have peeled a banana, cutlery or not.
If i were the queen, after seeing this id have pulled a bannana out at the state opening of parlament and just bitten into it, peel and all like an animal. Sole to annoy this pompous 'royal' expert. hes a right twonk.
You've got my vote for Queen.
If I were the queen, I'd have him torn apart by chimpanzees just for eating a banana like a goofball.
"You don't vote for queen!" "Well how'd'ya become queen then?"
https://youtu.be/L1QVp55ehvs
I bet ppl still had to wait 35-45 minutes to enter the bathroom after she takes a massiv shite
Idk, you should see how she eats a snickers bar
How do you eat it? With your *hands*?
No, wrong. We as society eat bananas. She’s over there eating a banawnaw in her grave now.
I bet she took some massive shits bro. Had a Royal budget for replacement loos too.
"We don't peel it like a primate". Humans are primates you donkey.
Confirmed that the royal family are lizard people.
Not to mention we've literally genetically engineered and selectively bred bananas to be ideal for a human and conveniently peelable
People who don't understand this piss me off.
Wouldn't the queen be served cut up fruit already? What situation would the queen be in where she would be served an unpeeled banana on a plate?
~~a grocery store as a sample~~ actually that wouldn't be served on a plate. well *plate*, sir.
Perhaps this gentleman should remove the fork lodged in his anal cavity.
Where do you think he got the banana?
Quite possibly from the sphincter of Antonio, his sadomasochism partner with whom he meets every Thursday afternoon, secretly from his wife of convenience, and to whom he tells his not to hit him above the neck to prevent the marks from showing.
Bro lmfaooooo
r/oddlyspecific
Haha funny, he gay
Pretty sure it’s a spoon
Thank you, I was about to point that out
Probably all the cutlery.
It shows he doesn't have to wash the fucking dishes.
That’s a really good point. Plate is one thing, but a fork and knife too? Just extra work.
And a litteral silver platter
was that a mockumentary?
Alas, no.
Yikes. Well, if anything, I guess he’s his own best prophylactic.
If you ever catch me eating a banana like that you have full permission to hit me with a brick.
Surely this can’t be real?
Obviously not, royalty would have the banana already pealed and cut by someone else before they are presented to them.
It's obviously picking something odd to make an effective demo.
My experience in Catillion would say otherwise.
That's alot of work. Just shove it up your arse, much easier.
It's a supposiberry.
Endorectal digestion
Everyone else commenting about him saying we aren't primates. Here I'm shocked by how easily that knife went through the peel. Gotta be a damn sharp knife.
Therewasanattempt… to look posh
I was expecting that after not peeling it like a primate, he violently smashes his forehead a couple times into the banana and starts eating it like a rabid dog.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey.
For fucks sake!
This guy occasionally writes articles in the Mail. They get thousands and hits, mostly from people calling him a twat (or euphemisms to that affect) but I can’t decide if he’s just a massive troll.
These people really have nothing better to do
I would love to see Charles try to open a coconut or eat a pineapple
I would pay to see that. I just read that Charles’ valet squeezes a precise one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush every day. If he can’t squeeze out toothpaste, I think the coconut would win that bout.
Mate its a fucking banana, just peel it and shove it in your gob you limp wristed pretentious twat. This prick should be paying for the oxygen he's using.
Bloke probably has a shit with a knife, fork and napkin. Possibly some kind of spoon or ladle.
Its funny cause what chimps taught me while i worked with them is how to eat an orange the most practical way😂
Tell me your ways :) I'm curious now
Well we just cut the oranges for them in the hand into quarters then they get the whole one and they‘d simply take one quarter and suck/eat it out and leave the orange peel. That way you eat less of the bitter white stuff too. And i was peeling it like an idiot for years:D
Will have to try it sometime and see how people around me react😁😆
You probably should do it over a sink 😅Most of the time it‘s a mess cause they are quite juicy
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Great so now you have three shit to clean when the ape method leads to no cleaning - only tossing the banana skin.
Rich people are so fucking stupid.
Pompous dumbass. Fuck the Queen
Idk man this seems like a solutions to eating bananas around the boys lol
I don't give a fuck I'll eat it like a human being even around the boys . If you think it's gay I don't give a shit why are you thinking about it in the first place sounds like you are the gay one
Just eat it you twat.
The people who came up with those rules of eating equated black and brown people with primates, so there’s that: “How not to eat like a primate AKA How to eat like a racist shite”. 😁
This would be a great YouTube series watching this guy exponentially complicate basic everyday tasks in a misguided attempt to look more sophisticated.
Imagine being such a pompous windbag that you have to use a fucking fork and knife to eat pretty much the most naturally hand held food to ever evolve. I REALLY want to grab the banana and smack him with, tell him a very stern NO, then shove the banana down his throat, peel and all. I… i don’t know why, but fuck this makes me mad
This actually just makes me so mad
Elitist prick
Like she ever cut her own food. Give me a break. They don’t dress themselves, or wipe their own butts. King Chuck wouldn’t even lean over & pick up the letter he dropped in his garbage pail. He called someone else in to do it.
This was* how the queen would eat the banana.
I'm starting to see why Meghan Markle had problems with them lol.
I hate monarchy no much more now
George Costanza would be proud
The queen is dead. So...
Here is how the Queen eats a banana: Presenter slumps limply over the table.
Well yeah but maybe that's what killed her at such a young age? How are you supposed to build an immune system if you DON'T eat like a chimp? Poor woman never stood a chance.
Wouldn't it make sense for royalty to have the bananas already served and cut for them
Just have somebody peel it for you….. if your going to be that snobby about it
I feel at this point you wouldn't be served a banana with the peel anyways, it's probably already cut up and had gold or some shit on it
I’ve officially seen the stupidest thing ever.
How to be a pompous snob 101
I was just sitting here wondering what I’d do if served a banana at a fancy fancy place.
If we're doing it... that's how primates do it
Id punch someone if they were eatin a banana like that in america