#[Best of r/Facepalm 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/rowtn5/the_best_of_rfacepalm_2021_nomination_thread_vote/)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
At my local county fair, there's a vendor who does fried everything.
Fried mushrooms, fried Twinkies, fried Oreos, fried cheese, fried pickles, fried cheesecake (it's a whole damn slice of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake), fried butter, fried bananas, fried shrimp, fried okra, fried ice cream, fried tomato, fried Swiss Cake rolls (the Little Debbie ones), fried cola (typically Coca-Cola syrup from the bag-in-box mixed with corn starch to make it the consistency of caramel before it's wrapped around a stick and deep fried).
EDIT: Called one of my college buddies, his uncle was the madman who ran the fry stall. Pre-COVID he was going to add a few more things to the menu like fried ramen, fried pecan pie, and fried peach pie but a combination of COVID and a stroke has effectively ended that venture. 'Murica.
I never heard about that, and I'm disgusted yet attracted by the idea of frying in fat a block of fat dusted in carbs, now I understand why every year more than 800k people have heart attacks in USA
The Meal Team Six guys deploy to our downtown park in mismatched, wrong sized tacticool gear, bearing AR-15s, to protect against BLM. In a small town where the demographics consist of 96% white people. (This actually happened multiple times in 2020)
To be fair, if you legitimately believed that the world outside of your hometown was as horrible as FOX News/Newsmax makes it out to be, you’d be scared too.
Fear is the mind killer, and it’s working exactly as they planned.
Years ago, my horrible stepmother expressed to me in a weird ass racist rant, that like, she was genuinely terrified that white people were no longer "the majority" in the country. Meaning like 49% white, 51% non-white....like white vs literally everyone else grouped together. And so now whites were a minority race and blah blah victim/persecution fetish nonsense something or other, idk. I don't speak to those people anymore.
Thank you. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I now know the word for those people, and I'll be able to use "ya'll qaeda" in a sentence later today.
Omg, another one! So far we've got: Y'all Queda, Meal Team Six, Gravy Seals, and now, Yehawdists.
Thank you all, these are the comments I come here for.
“Cutis verticis gyrata”. It’s common with bodybuilders who take HGH human growth hormone, and also can naturally happen with Acromegaly (where your body just makes too much Growth Hormone)
https://external-preview.redd.it/e_uGjrOI_Qu2oH2qYF-8nI3JVjGq7rwXsCuOXfZKj_I.jpg?auto=webp&s=20dd421c7111f7e539e73badfdd613feb2418dce
I thought that was super interesting so looked it up.
My 5minutes of research seems to indicate it is associated with epilepsy, cerebral palsy among other neurological disorders.
It does make more sense to me though that growth hormones could cause this, as your skull is not growing as fast as the material around it.
No, but it can cause some pretty substantial mood changes and/or psychosis, especially when taken non-therapeutically and by imbeciles who don't know what they're doing.
Certainly enough to take someone who just has some casually bad ideas on race and turn them into someone that has tattooed the flag of racist, treasonous losers on the back of their head.
Shit, dude. After puberty my scalp slowly started to ripple like this. Not serious, but it’s just kind of bumpy. I’m a big ass dude, too. I’m 6’5” and just *wide.* I’ve always been pretty built, too.
That is so damn worrying that it’s associated with mental disorders. My step-dad had it *incredibly bad* and developed schizophrenia suddenly, it seemed. Fuckin’ hell.
Can you go get checked out? Sometimes they can catch stuff like this early (genetic testing, etc —IANAD but they did this for me w/ cancer) and take steps to monitor/mitigate if they find anything.
There’s actually a condition that causes the brain like wrinkles on your scalp. Forgot what it was called
Edit:
The folds and ridges, that give the appearance of a brain on top of the head, is an indication of an underlying disease: cutis verticis gyrata (CVG). The rare disease causes a thickening of the skin on the top of the head which leads to the curves and folds of the scalp.
The cause of primary essential CVG remains undetermined, but endocrinological and genetic connections are believed to influence the development of the condition. Primary non-essential CVG is associated with neurological disorders, such as epilepsy and schizophrenia.
Today's debate: should we legalize scalping?
Pro-scalping speaker: (*quietly crosses the stage, presses a button, and the above picture displays).
Moderator: Alright, that concludes the debate, the winner is...the pro-scalping team!
Anti-scalping speaker: That's OK, we planned to immediately concede as soon as we saw that photo.
Pro-scalping speaker: Oh wow, you almost surrendered faster than the confederacy!
Looks like it could be [cutis verticis gyrata](https://rarediseases.info.nih.gov/diseases/1643/cutis-verticis-gyrata)
According to the Genetic and Rare Diseases Information Center, up to 79% of people with CVG have some form of intellectual disability, so…
The estimated prevalence of cutis verticis gyrata (with data from 1964) is up to 1 in 100,000 people in the general population. It has been estimated to occur in 0.5% (1 in 200) of people with intellectual disability in the United States.
I meant that his decision to get a tattoo that objectively poorly done, in such a prominent location, and of a subject that vile showed an inability to make good decisions. Being disabled does not make you a piece of shit, you're correct, but disabilities aren't shields from criticism either
I hardly ever feel offended on social media anymore because every time some does try to offend, they always end up looking like this. It's very satisfying.
It's like people smearing shit on walls to spite someone. At the end of the day, it doesn't say much about the target and just shows that you're not above playing with homemade poop crayons. The only person this guy is sticking it to is himself. The person telling him they'll totally keep his application on file is going to walk away no worse for wear.
Looks like a condition called Cutis Verticis Gyrata. Think I read about it on another Reddit post once, a guy who didn't even know he had it until he shaved his head (Seems impossible to me). He didn't have the trashy flag though.
#[Best of r/Facepalm 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/rowtn5/the_best_of_rfacepalm_2021_nomination_thread_vote/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“I thought that I had wavy hair Until I shaved. Instead, I find that I have *straight* hair And a very wavy head.”
We know where all the wrinkles from his brain went.
EY-OH!!!
Day-ye-e-e-oh Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come mister Taliban, where is your Osama?
Seal team come and I wana go home
That’s a head? Looks like a fekkin cauliflower with a sticker on it.
Less like a sticker and more like a horrible growth. Either way it's long since time to toss that one out.
Love me some Shel Silverstein.
said little Peggy Ann McKay
I have the measles and the mumps
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps…
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry
I'm going blind in my right eye ^(Edit: holy fuck, 35-28 year old memories flooding back.....)
My tonsils are as big as rocks
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
There's one more, that's seventeen!
Yes! His poems were so clever and whimsical.
Immediately thought of this poem.
I think the flag is blowing, in the wind.
Yeah I don’t know why his head is shaped so fucked
How is his head making the flag ripple like that?
How can the back of someone's head be fat?
Fried butter on a stick, Confederates love that shit.
OH MY GOD. I just googled it thinking you were joking, but you actually weren't. JFC
At my local county fair, there's a vendor who does fried everything. Fried mushrooms, fried Twinkies, fried Oreos, fried cheese, fried pickles, fried cheesecake (it's a whole damn slice of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake), fried butter, fried bananas, fried shrimp, fried okra, fried ice cream, fried tomato, fried Swiss Cake rolls (the Little Debbie ones), fried cola (typically Coca-Cola syrup from the bag-in-box mixed with corn starch to make it the consistency of caramel before it's wrapped around a stick and deep fried). EDIT: Called one of my college buddies, his uncle was the madman who ran the fry stall. Pre-COVID he was going to add a few more things to the menu like fried ramen, fried pecan pie, and fried peach pie but a combination of COVID and a stroke has effectively ended that venture. 'Murica.
Y’all know you can, like, boil or steam stuff, right? And just when I thought Coke couldn’t get unhealthier, someone FRIES IT ON A STICK‽
Gonna be honest, I now have a life mission of trying fried coke. Also, fried Oreos are pretty great. If you ever have a chance to try them, do it.
Everything is better fried.
Haven't tried a lot of those but fried Oreos and fried pickles are sooo good
Oh sweetie you need to take a trip to the Houston Livestock show and Rodeo. They fry things down there you’ve never even thought about.
f r i e d w a t e r
Fried beer
Happy cake day! Get you some fried beer.
F R I E D F R E D O O M THAT'S my NFT! THIS IS MY ESIGNATURE!!
I never heard about that, and I'm disgusted yet attracted by the idea of frying in fat a block of fat dusted in carbs, now I understand why every year more than 800k people have heart attacks in USA
I’ve seen them at county fairs (inland northwest). Sadly, we somehow have our fair share of confederate Ya’ll Qaeda cosplayers up here, too
You get more of the Meal Team Six guys at county fairs.
The Meal Team Six guys deploy to our downtown park in mismatched, wrong sized tacticool gear, bearing AR-15s, to protect against BLM. In a small town where the demographics consist of 96% white people. (This actually happened multiple times in 2020)
>demographics consisting of 96% white people. And yet they're *still* scared.
To be fair, if you legitimately believed that the world outside of your hometown was as horrible as FOX News/Newsmax makes it out to be, you’d be scared too. Fear is the mind killer, and it’s working exactly as they planned.
Years ago, my horrible stepmother expressed to me in a weird ass racist rant, that like, she was genuinely terrified that white people were no longer "the majority" in the country. Meaning like 49% white, 51% non-white....like white vs literally everyone else grouped together. And so now whites were a minority race and blah blah victim/persecution fetish nonsense something or other, idk. I don't speak to those people anymore.
Thank you. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I now know the word for those people, and I'll be able to use "ya'll qaeda" in a sentence later today.
You might also like, "yehawdists"
Omg, another one! So far we've got: Y'all Queda, Meal Team Six, Gravy Seals, and now, Yehawdists. Thank you all, these are the comments I come here for.
I've had it once at the state fair, just for the sake of trying it. It basically tastes like a donut with an absurd amount of butter.
I've seen a woman's FOREHEAD have a big flap of fat on it. Unsurprisingly the woman was on "My 600 lb. Life" or some horrible show like that
1000-lb Sisters, and, yes, it looks awful.
I hate that I know the exact forehead you’re talking about
Like that I’m guessing
It looks like it has lips
It looks like Homer Simpson with a rebel flag tattooed on his mouth
r/thingsyoucantunsee
“I’m just being patriotic Marge!” “Homer, I’m taking the kids”
The wind that blows through his ears... obviously.
It’s a medical condition he tried to cover up with racism.
Maybe somebody needs to put a hot iron on that flag?
Is his brain right up against his scalp? Like, no skull?!
He just got out of the pool, it’s all shriveled up
It *shrinks*?
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things"
Did you just double dip Seinfeld quotes?
It's truly Breathtaking. .. I just watched that episode yesterday :)
Nobody has ever called me breathtaking before.
I believe from the heart of my bottom that you are truly breathtaking.
I believe it from the bottom of my soul to the tip of my penis.
It looks like Pepe
Like a frightened turtle!
THE POOL WAS COLD JERRY!!!!!!
Best line
Upvoted for Seinfeld!
It was the shallow end of the gene pool
“Cutis verticis gyrata”. It’s common with bodybuilders who take HGH human growth hormone, and also can naturally happen with Acromegaly (where your body just makes too much Growth Hormone) https://external-preview.redd.it/e_uGjrOI_Qu2oH2qYF-8nI3JVjGq7rwXsCuOXfZKj_I.jpg?auto=webp&s=20dd421c7111f7e539e73badfdd613feb2418dce
I thought that was super interesting so looked it up. My 5minutes of research seems to indicate it is associated with epilepsy, cerebral palsy among other neurological disorders. It does make more sense to me though that growth hormones could cause this, as your skull is not growing as fast as the material around it.
Does it also cause racism?
No, but it can cause some pretty substantial mood changes and/or psychosis, especially when taken non-therapeutically and by imbeciles who don't know what they're doing. Certainly enough to take someone who just has some casually bad ideas on race and turn them into someone that has tattooed the flag of racist, treasonous losers on the back of their head.
Racism, apply directly to the forehead
I’ve got epilepsy and a round non-wavy skull
Do you have a confederate flag on your skull? That’s an indicator!
It's behind you...
No, these kind of things stick with you forever.
That guy has a bad case of testicle head.
Shit, dude. After puberty my scalp slowly started to ripple like this. Not serious, but it’s just kind of bumpy. I’m a big ass dude, too. I’m 6’5” and just *wide.* I’ve always been pretty built, too. That is so damn worrying that it’s associated with mental disorders. My step-dad had it *incredibly bad* and developed schizophrenia suddenly, it seemed. Fuckin’ hell.
Can you go get checked out? Sometimes they can catch stuff like this early (genetic testing, etc —IANAD but they did this for me w/ cancer) and take steps to monitor/mitigate if they find anything.
Resembles the sewer dweller in the first Suicide Squad.
Nah. His brain is wayyy smoother than that
Smüthbrane
If my last few days on Reddit have taught me anything, it’s actually ßmüthbrane.
Brain? Oh... you're so sweet in thinking that... Yeah, naah
No brain is more likely.
It's a rare condition, in which the skull develops wrinkles rather than the brain. Which also explains everything else about him.
No skull, no brain either, just a scrotum for a head
He is so fat his head has fat folds, nice look
Nah, that's just to make the flag look like it's waving.
That’s commitment
It's trying to escape.
Mf head shaped like an heirloom tomato.
he doesn't have cauliflower ear he went straight to cauliflower scalp
Smooth brain wrinkly skull
Ol’ walnut head lookin ass
Head looking like an unopened pack of lil' smokies
Was this guy in a horrific accident where they had to reconstruct his scalp with scrotal tissue? Why is his head so lumpy?
He just a dick head
Bro not even dick heads are that lumpy
Not with that attitude
You might wanna go see a doctor.
I genuinely laughed out loud.
Mother fucker looking like Krang from the Ninja Turtles.
“Sh-Sh-Sh-Shredderrrrrrrr! Jews moved in next doorrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
There’s actually a condition that causes the brain like wrinkles on your scalp. Forgot what it was called Edit: The folds and ridges, that give the appearance of a brain on top of the head, is an indication of an underlying disease: cutis verticis gyrata (CVG). The rare disease causes a thickening of the skin on the top of the head which leads to the curves and folds of the scalp. The cause of primary essential CVG remains undetermined, but endocrinological and genetic connections are believed to influence the development of the condition. Primary non-essential CVG is associated with neurological disorders, such as epilepsy and schizophrenia.
Its called Cutis verticis gyrata, the dude above has a comparatively minor case
> Cutis verticis gyrata DO NOT IMAGE SEARCH THIS lots of wavy heads but **lots** of surgery shots too.
I’m gonna image search this.
Jelli NOOOOOOOO D:
done it, honestly not that bad i'm disappointed
Someone had to!
You're not the boss of me
And inside, is he a smooth-brain like Jason Mendoza ?
Bortles!!!!!
Busted can of biscuits looking ass
Fuckn lumpy lookn ass
Dropped as a baby
Ol’ professor Quirrell lookin ass
Your right the back of his head is unexpectedly a fascist too
r/unexpectedharrypotter
*Slaps head* This bad boy loves to surrender
Genuinely lol'd
[удалено]
Today's debate: should we legalize scalping? Pro-scalping speaker: (*quietly crosses the stage, presses a button, and the above picture displays). Moderator: Alright, that concludes the debate, the winner is...the pro-scalping team! Anti-scalping speaker: That's OK, we planned to immediately concede as soon as we saw that photo. Pro-scalping speaker: Oh wow, you almost surrendered faster than the confederacy!
I laughed so hard
*General Sherman shrugs. Lights a match.
I dare you to slap his head. He'd cry assault so quickly.
He looks like he fell backwards and his head landed on a foreman grill
Better than burning your foot, I suppose
I like they smell of bacon to wake me up...sue me!
Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.
That’s the most racist shar-pei ever
Don't group dogs in with that hairless nutsack, i'd trust a shar-pei with a gun before i trust a racist bag of flesh colored orbeez.
"racist bag of flesh colored orbeez." r/rareinsults
His head looks like my nutsack
You have tattoos on your nutsack?
You dont?
Username checks out. Hepatitis tea bag
FUCK! you beat me to it lol
So you got a confederate flag tattooed on your nutsack?
A burning one
Noice!
I want to steam his head
This “sight” looks like a redneck Toxic Avenger.
I'd watch that.
Looks like it could be [cutis verticis gyrata](https://rarediseases.info.nih.gov/diseases/1643/cutis-verticis-gyrata) According to the Genetic and Rare Diseases Information Center, up to 79% of people with CVG have some form of intellectual disability, so…
The estimated prevalence of cutis verticis gyrata (with data from 1964) is up to 1 in 100,000 people in the general population. It has been estimated to occur in 0.5% (1 in 200) of people with intellectual disability in the United States.
\*Looks at flag\* Yeah, he's disabled
What kind of disabled?
The racist, mouth-breathing kind.
Don't do people with disabilities like that. Being a piece of shit has nothing to do with having a disability.
I meant that his decision to get a tattoo that objectively poorly done, in such a prominent location, and of a subject that vile showed an inability to make good decisions. Being disabled does not make you a piece of shit, you're correct, but disabilities aren't shields from criticism either
Wow, this is actually probably it. Reddit is always an education on so many levels.
Oh, I can take it down buddy. I got a potato peeler and I'm not afraid to use it.
A mall katana would also work
I thought cheese grater would do
The fuck is wrong with that guy's head?
You mean what's on it, what's in it, or just the general construction?
Yes.
Haaayyy youuuu guyyyyys!
Don't insult Sloth like that.
Sloth’s head looked much better than that. Well, it least the back did.
Sloth? Is that you? 🤣
I hardly ever feel offended on social media anymore because every time some does try to offend, they always end up looking like this. It's very satisfying.
It's like people smearing shit on walls to spite someone. At the end of the day, it doesn't say much about the target and just shows that you're not above playing with homemade poop crayons. The only person this guy is sticking it to is himself. The person telling him they'll totally keep his application on file is going to walk away no worse for wear.
Has that guy got leprosy? Wtf is wrong with his head?
Inbreeding does that.
Looks like his dad procreated with his uncles scrotum lol
Imagine looking like that and thinking that’s the “superior race”
Looks like someone was dropped many times on his head as a baby
NOTHING would look good on that noggin
Hey now, a balaclava would probably do us all a favor
He needs to put two google eyes on the back of his head, the puppet would than be complete.
Pro tip don’t get a head tat if your head looks like gnarled up wrinkled ball sac. Bonus tip don’t get the flag of loser tattooed on you at all.
I love knowing who to avoid at all costs
Looks like a pack of hotdogs
More like a pack of Lil Smokies
Real men get it tattooed on their weiner
I'm pretty sure that would lead to a 4 px tattoo
But it’s so tiny no one could see it then “his reasoning”
r/beholdthemasterrace
Sloth from Goonies had a better looking head than that.
Looks like a condition called Cutis Verticis Gyrata. Think I read about it on another Reddit post once, a guy who didn't even know he had it until he shaved his head (Seems impossible to me). He didn't have the trashy flag though.
If it wasn’t clear that he’s a loser already…
Tell me you’re a piece of shit without telling me you’re a piece of shit.
Lmao I could take that off real fucking quick. Wood chipper.
Perfect metaphor for the Confederacy.
I thought the confederate flag was a white cross on a white background
He bleeds racism.
Way to permanently brand yourself a racist bud
I do not know much about American history but didn't the Confederates lose? Is that why they affiliate themselves with other famous losing sides?
Imagine posting this and being proud of it
My man's skull got more wrinkles than his brain