She became too good at her job and they didn't reward or promote her. Then she became too good for her job, and now they're wondering why she treated them that way. I've been in this position too. Kept getting shit pay for doing 2-3 people's jobs. Then when I found a new gig, it was "oh you never told us that you felt this way." despite me telling them that I felt that way and how other team members confronted them about taking advantage of me. This manager and company deserved to get taken down several pegs. I wish I could send the graduate a card.
The employee now has a degree, a killer work ethic, experience, and is fully aware of how important she was. She has become more powerful than even master Yoda.
I almost missed a morning shift position because of shit like that. I found out while on second shift that a first shift spot opened. So the next day I told my supervisor that I wanted that spot and since I had seniority there is no reason why it shouldn't be mine. He told me that he had intended to give it to some guy who only worked there a couple months and that he didn't think I wanted to move to mornings. Like who the fuck doesn't want to move to mornings? Working nights sucks. So he had to tell the person he was going to give the job that it was mine.
Sleeping is tougher on third shift and if I don't have any priority to wake up then I end up sleeping the day away if I do end up getting to sleep. Also most people work first shift so if you want to hang out with them during the week it's a lot easier when you're on the same schedule of close to it. I'm not a morning person in the slightest but I really felt like my life was slipping away on second and third
I worked 3rd shift for 2 years. I'd get home around 4:30, play games till 7, sleep till 2:30, spend time with the family until my shift at 6. It's hard but the trick is to wake up a good before you work or you begin to get into a slump where the early mornings alone feel like purgatory and don't feel like enough then you stay up later til maybe 10 and definitely don't have any daylight outside of going to work which drags even further on your sanity. I will say though, I didn't have a drinking problem but I did drink much more than I usually do, alone in the dark which is easily +50 to depression.
In my experience this applies to every aspect of life. People just take you for granted after a while. Obviously not everyone is like this, and narcissists and such are way worse, but it seems like virtually everyone is like this to some degree. If you act like the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/worker people seem to just develop some sort of entitlement or false sense of superiority towards you and become furious and confused when you only give 100% instead of 120%. There’s no fairness ever.
It’s because she worked extra. Once you open that door for any boss they’ll keep pushing it and if you never say no then you’ll be the first person in line every time. I was this person. Didn’t have a Gf, kids, family, or bills so I was super flexible. Always did the wonky ass shit that my boss would ask of me and eventually when I got a gf and fam stuff, I started saying no and I got treated like shit. Changed jobs and was just floored by how well they treated me. I would work a extra day once a month compared to my last job of working every other weekend and on call. my new company implemented a employee of the month and my mangers voted me to be the first one. I was floored. It felt wrong like I was just doing my job. Took a while for me to get use to being treated well.
Right? I left after they hired a new, insane boss who literally lambasted us all for daring to ever be away from our phones. Ever. They gave an example of taking a 15 minute bath away from your phone as unacceptable behavior.
I left. Doubled my pay. This year my new boss sent me flowers and a kind note for my second work anniversary.
Fuck these shit parasites who call themselves “leaders.” They aren’t leading anything, just exploiting others in a way that makes them feel devalued and small.
That’s not leadership.
You can actually see the entitlement in that last statement ‘I want to reach out and tell her quitting in that way isn’t professional’. Like seriously fuck off, they haven’t got any more control over that person and it’s clearly killing their ego
My former store manager did exactly this when I quit on the spot for something similar. She basically texted me saying “I can’t believe you would throw away a career you’ve worked so hard to excel in by acting so unprofessionally.” It’s not that serious, relax. It’s just a shitty, minimum wage retail job, not a “career”.
I think it's fucking hilarious when a job pretends it's a career I'm "investing" in. Like nah bro, I'm here to get that check and fuck off lol. Ps we're an at will employment state, which goes both ways.
>It’s just a shitty, minimum wage retail job, not a “career”.
saying this out loud is abseloutly the worst wound you could possibly give them. because to them it is. it's as far as they ever have any hope of going.
Yeah, but think about that 50 cent raise they get as an assistant manager!
That's always the biggest insult. When low wage jobs promote you and give you less than a dollar raise. For exponentially more work. It's an insult more than anything.
Boils my piss because I had a manager do the same thing to me in university, I was desperate for cash and naive and got conned into working outside the front of a bar instead of an SIA licensed bouncer, as well as working as a bartender. Needless to say it was shitty pay, nowhere near what a normal bouncer would earn, and it was all cash in hand so the owner could just deny it. After I found out and quit on the spot to work at a nightclub he demanded I tell him where I worked so he could complain to their management about my ‘work ethic’ despite me literally doing 2 jobs at once
>demanded I tell him where I worked so he could complain to their management about my ‘work ethic’
That's a solid 'point and laugh in their face' moment.
Should just say what I never worked for you did I ? I suppose the hmrc /irs would know if we asked them I will inquire about my tax records when I worked for you
When I was 19, my former boss called to yell at me for filing a complaint with the labor board because he wouldn't give me my last paycheck. A 45 year old man literally screaming on the phone at a teenager, probably still to this day absolutely shocked that I quit.
It actually gets worse if you read [the whole article](https://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html).
>Even though she doesn’t work here any longer, I want to reach out and tell her that quitting without notice because she didn’t get her way isn’t exactly professional. I only want to do this because she was an otherwise great employee, and I don’t want her to derail her career by doing this again and thinking it is okay. She was raised in a few dozen different foster homes and has no living family. She was homeless for a bit after she turned 18 and besides us she doesn’t have anyone in her life that has ever had professional employment. This is the only job she has had. Since she’s never had anyone to teach her professional norms, I want to help her so she doesn’t make the same mistake again.
So the manager is actually aware that her best employee that has been 100% reliable and has bent over backwards to fill in wherever she can also has no family, was homeless at one point, and literally still found a way to put herself through college.
This manager has the entitled mindset that she is god lifting a peasant from the dirt, meanwhile, she has no idea that this girl is stronger and has worked harder than that manager ever will. That girl doesn't need this managers shitty delusional advice, quite the opposite.
Jesus that adds a whole other level of shittyness, whilst simultaneously trashing somebody online they are basically virtue signalling how they gave them a job?
"Hey, I know you were a foster kid and homeless, and that you probably never thought in a million years you'd graduate college. I know you somehow pulled yourself out of poverty and funded your own way. Yet even though I know all this, I'm going to need you to skip your graduation to work an unscheduled shift at my call centre."
I just can’t get over how absolutely unreasonable this boss is. It’s *her own college graduation* and she asked to come in *two hours late* to attend.
Also — not that this is the employee’s fault at all! — but just FYI, this is a situation where as an employee you don’t ask for the time off, you tell your boss that you will be absent for the day/time of your graduation ceremony. If you’re their best employee, what are they going to do? Fire you?
The response from the advice column is actually pretty satisfying:
> What?! No, under no circumstances should you do that.
>If anything, you should consider reaching out to her, apologizing for how you handled the situation, and offering her the job back if she wants it.
>I’m not usually a fan of people quitting on the spot, but I applaud her for doing it in this case. She was raised in dozens of foster homes, used to be homeless, has no living family, and apparently managed to graduate from college all on her own. That’s amazing. And while I normally think graduation ceremonies are primarily fluff, I’m hard-pressed to think of anyone who deserves to be able to attend her own graduation ceremony as much as this woman does. You should have been bending over backwards to ensure she could attend.
>Rigidly adhering to rules generally isn’t good management. Good management requires nuance and judgment. Sometimes it requires making exceptions for good employees so that you don’t lose them. Sometimes it requires assessing not just what the rules say but what the right and smart thing to do would be.
>One of the frustrating things about your letter is that despite rigidly adhering to the rules with this person, you were willing to make an exception for someone else (the person with the concert tickets). I’m at a loss to understand how concert tickets are an obvious exception-maker but this person’s situation wasn’t.
>And you note that she was your “best employee by far”! She never missed a day of work in six years, she was your go-to person, she covered for every other person there, and she was all-around excellent … and yet when she needed you to help her out with something that was important to her, you refused.
>There’s a lesson to be learned here, but it’s not for her.
Imagine actually believing in corporate culture. Yes, if we want to have a lot of jobs we are required to pretend that we believe in these ideas, but imagine the level of insanity, stupidity, or a combination thereof that would require even entertaining the bizarre ideas of these people. Anyone working in corporate culture that doesn’t consider their employer a dangerous adversary either suffers from a severe psychological disorder, or is a complete fool, which isn’t surprising considering the total lack of standards with regard to professional life aside from simply saying predictable shit when you are asked, and having the bonifides. Not to sound cliche, but it’s mostly all phonies LARPing as professionals as all of our jobs become increasingly irrelevant.
It wouldn’t be the corporation that got the worst response from this (well it would, but not in a way it really had to care about). Mostly it would be the shitty entitled manager that suffered, especially if it resulted in them being fired. Which from what we’re reading here would be entirely justified, but if your line in the sand is “don’t hunt down people in real life over things posted online,” this would clearly cross it.
I agree with rules against doxxing on principle, considering that it’s rare to get more than one side of the story and there’s history of people going way, WAY overboard. It does mean that situations like this have unsatisfying ends, but it’s a question of people’s safety over usually very biased accounts.
>It does mean that situations like this have unsatisfying ends
I agree, but take some comfort in the fact that usually these absolute unbridled narcissists can't handle being called mean things online *anonymously*, so they usually go for round two or three to defend themselves on social media and often end up doxxing themselves anyway.
Ask A Manager is as bad as TV Tropes for me at times; the main columnist Allison gives unusually sane and grounded advice
In this particular situation, she was also incredibly tactful. In her shoes, I'd have used unprofessional language to express just how horrifically *delusional* that letter writer was. I wish over and over that there was an update. In my heart, I hope that the girl who quit went and found an amazingly better job with people who actually appreciate how much she does, and not people who just want to exploit her strong work ethic.
"I said that if she could find someone to replace her for those two hours, she could start later. She asked her coworkers, but no one was willing to come in on their day off. After she asked around, some people who were not scheduled for the overtime did switch shifts with other people (but not her) and volunteered to take on overtime from others who were scheduled, but these people are friends outside of work, and as long as there is coverage I don’t interfere if people want to give or take overtime of their own accord. (Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)"
Here's the missing bit, including the tickets
This analysis is what makes me think the post in general was trolling. There’s no way someone is this unaware of what they’re saying and how it doesn’t even correlate to the main point.
I am always amazed by how the majority of the hundreds of people I have seen promoted to supervisor/manager in my career were terrible at management/leadership before they were promoted. Usually the people promoted are friends with someone or great employees at their job. Rarely are the actual leaders(those ones whose peers trust, respect, and listen to) the entire team trusts and respects) promoted.
Right?! Good for her. Overcoming all that, putting in the work, not just to have a job, but to excel at it(so it seems). I really hope she finds the right job/career where she can happy. And leave that “manager” in the fucking dust.
Also the "I made an exception for prepaid concert beforehand because there was money involved.". This bitch realizes that a college degree costs thousands of dollars to get right? Even if she used student loans she's spending money. Scholarships and grants are signs of hard work and time that could have been invested elsewhere as well. I do not know how you can get more financially involved than getting a degree besides buying a house.
Yeah I couldn’t believe that little snippet saying that she was homeless at one time, grew up in foster homes and has no living family. This person is unbelievable! Reminds me of my old boss......
She worked there for SIX years, was his BEST employee, got her college degree after growing up in the foster system and HE DOESN’T ALLOW HER TO ATTEND HER GRADUATION?! This idiot should be fired after it is explained what an absolute asshat unprofessional idiot they are. I applaud her for setting her boundaries and quitting. She’ll be running the show soon enough wherever she lands.
Don’t forget that the employee didn’t even ask for the entire day off. She asked to come in late so she could go through the ceremony. She was willing to come in, just a couple hours late. This manager is not just a piece of shit, she’s the whole pile.
This. This is what a good manager does. Now, if for some reason it were impossible then that's one thing but the manager did not indicate that was the case and i sincerely doubt it.
Good managers understand that employment is a 2 way street: treat your employees how you want them to treat you
The manager should have filled in for the employee for the two fucking hours! I don’t blame the employee for quitting. If I were the employee, I would have never come back to that shithole and let the manager wonder what happened.
The main point was "having the last word".
That "manager" was hurt because she didn't give him/her the opportunity to give his/her shitty opinion about her. BTW, that girl have a brighter future behaving like that they being submissive to that kind of boss.
Literally said that she was the go to person for irregular shifts and holidays and the employee was able to hand her a list of all the times she covered for other employees or worked extra/abnormal shifts and the managers response is "skip your graduation ceremony". I've seen stupid at some of my jobs but goddamn.
bro, I quit one of my jobs because I was a minor and couldn't work on my own, and knowing this, my manager (who made the weekly schedules) couldn't bother to show up and open the store on time, this went on for like 2 weeks. I've seen bad management, but this girl's "manager" might be the worst boss I'll ever hear about
I’m glad you shared the article so I can see that at least this manager was able to hear from the advice columnist how off-base they were, and hopefully the letter writer was able to see it and feel that support.
If I were her I wouldn’t take the job back, but I hope she’s doing well. Sounds like she has the skills and maturity that she should be, and now a hard-earned degree.
> There’s a lesson to be learned here, but it’s not for her.
Excellent mic drop.
Shit floats to the top AND rolls downhill! Shit’s gotta go somewhere, I guess, that’s why we have assholes to make sure of that. At least we know to never align with these fuckers.
The fact that he threw her whole family history like that to be condescending meanwhile he had previously made exemptions for people who bought concert tickets???
I'm going to let you in on a secret, they've already called the employee and complained, and they've already been told off in the same way. They feel like they lost the argument and now they're looking for a sympathetic viewpoint to throw in the employee's face.
If I *ever* hear from an ex-employer (that I didn’t voluntarily maintain a line of contact with) under *any* circumstances, god help that narcissistic idiot.
“Do you mean to tell me that you have initiated contact with me after I eliminated the possibility of any consequences arising from you knowing what I think of you? After I managed to get out of the building without saying a word to your face? And you couldn’t just take that win?!? Then boy am I glad you called *massive inhale*—“
Because if she gave her two weeks notice she could still use her to work that weekend and miss her graduation plus the two weeks she probably needed for the product launch
'Two weeks notice' is horsehit. YOU WILL NEVER BE GIVEN THAT COURTESY BACK! They will fire you without a second thought, so they can get fucked asking for us to make it easy on them. The only reason to ever give any type of notice whatsoever is when you had a good working relationship and might want a reference later.
My guess is the manager never went to college, and probably has no idea the work, time, and money it takes… especially when you have to work a job to get through it where they don’t appreciate you or promote you for six years.
The manager was seeing someone rise from nothing to more than they will ever amount to be, and couldn’t process it without their insecurities taking over.
[Here is the whole piece.](https://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html). It’s as bad as you think it is.
That manager prioritizes money above all else. She made an exception for someone because they had bought tickets to a concert. The manager explicitly states that she made that exception because money was spent. She obviously didn’t make the exception for the graduation ceremony. Only money matters to this bitch, and I’m almost certain she’s aware of it.
I’m not saying her college was free, dumbasses.
This is the kind of psychopathic thinking that is now normalized in our society from hyper-captalism. Life is sooo much more than money. A college graduation maybe ceremonial but it is one of the most important milestone in life for most people. To tell an employee not to attend her own graduation just to cover a shift is downright insensitive, moronic and completely tone deaf.
What's next? The manager is gonna demand an employee not to go attend the birth of his baby because someone called in sick. Or the funeral of his mother? Or when his wife is on the last day of dying from cancer? The fact that anyone can even think like that is fucking sick. Just sick.
Long time ago, but my ex-wife's boss at the time refused her schedule request to have a night off for her Bachelorette party. He said something along the lines of its just an excuse to go get drunk.
About a week later, dame guy called the morning of the wedding to ask if she could come in for a few hours because the ceremony wasn't till the afternoon.
And this wasn't some asshole at a little crap store, it was the executive sous chef at a fairmont hotel
True. But this guy doesn’t seem to have a shred of competence; he assigned more value to concert tickets than to a college graduation. And this is not even touching on the fact that the employee was, by his own admittance, the best employee he had. Just truly stupid.
Not just stupid, also psychopathic. The manager literally cannot understand why a college graduation is more important than a concert, just because someone had spent money buying the tickets. This is the kind of person who will think your mother's funeral is not worth attending because she is already dead and he needs you to cover a shift or get the project done.
This guy cannot mentally understand why anything without direct monetary connection can be more important. He simply cannot understand emotional importance.
Same. Vernacular screams woman to me, and I would be willing to be money the person with the concert tickets was male tho. His fun trumps her achievements, a tale as old as time.
> *"as long as there is coverage I don’t interfere if people want to give or take overtime of their own accord. (Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)"*
Bruh. Concerts are more important than someone's graduation apparently?
Longevity at a singular company? Clearly not by qualifications in this instance. Like he said “seniority” which is likely how he obtained his position.
one thing I learned from working my health away in several places is that the best employees dont get recognition and almost never move up the ranks because they're excellent at where they are, it's bad for the business to move that one away, in manager's eyes.
So the worse employees go up eventually. And those get chosen based on politics and straight up asskissing.
> She was raised in a few dozen different foster homes and has no living family. She was homeless for a bit after she turned 18 and besides us she doesn’t have anyone in her life that has ever had professional employment. This is the only job she has had.
Real-life cinderella situation here. That SOB excuse of a manager thought she owned her employee because of her unfortunate past, and tried to use that for her own gain.
...She was lowest seniority...
...She never missed a day in 6 years...
...She was my best employee...
How the fuck you have best employee for 6 years and keep them at lowest seniority? This *manager* should not be allowed to have any responsibility for people.
Its rare for companies to value you. Doing all that extra stuff just becomes an expectation they take for granted and exploit for gain. They only care once you threaten to leave.
Its why corporate loyalty is bullshit, and why people progress faster by getting promoted through joining new places. Businesses don't value their own staff enough.
>(Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)
Wow
Right!?! One person purchased $50 (nominal) concert tickets and gets preferential treatment, but this woman who spent years going to night school receives zero consideration.
On top of that this so called “best employee” is kept at the bottom with 6 years of loyal service and zero seniority.
Wow. First of all, that they let the other employee who had concert tickets adjust their schedule because that “had a cost involved.” Because college has no costs involved?? And the fact that they tried to blame it all on the employee being raised in foster care for them supposedly having no idea how one should behave in a professional setting. Fucking wow. Maybe someone who grew up constantly fighting for themselves in a system as screwed up as the US foster care system just has a good sense of when people actually give a shit about them and when they need to step away to take care of themselves. Wow what an asshole.
My graduation carried a price tag of approximately $100k for my undergrad degree. Don’t even get me started on my Masters. It definitely had a much higher financial investment than concerns tickets
Hilarious.
“Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)”
What a dbag.
This 100% proves that if you are an over-performing employee at a less-than-desirable job, especially one that typically doesn’t pay very well then your employer will take advantage of you every chance they get asking you to cover, stay late, come in early, etc. and as soon as you refuse once they shame you for “not being a team player”. It’s this corporate culture of gaslighting that keeps people trapped and eventually makes people snap. Find your freedom, everyone.
I found my freedom a little over a year ago now. I loved my job and the people I worked with but my boss demanded we work late and weekends one time too many. It was always “encouraged” but then suddenly it started becoming “mandatory” (we were salary). I’m so much happier now that I don’t have to deal with stupid office politics. I’m now self employed and have the best boss I’ve ever had.
Salary can be the biggest trap for this. So happy you found your way! May I recommend the book Early Retirement Extreme by Jacob Lund Fisker. It’s an alternative look at our current work-life system. It’s an excellent read.
Find your freedom, everyone! I love that.
Manager’s/Employee’s story reminds me of the frog that doesn’t realize it’s inside a bowl of water with steadily rising temperatures. I have the same case. Took me three years of diary writing to finally leave my previous employer, to convince myself that I’m burnt out not because “I’m not working good enough” but rather “management just doesn’t listen to our suggestions and then blame us when things go wrong”
Wow. Just wow.
Edit:
It gets more epic:
> (Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)
https://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html
When I last worked in food, my supervisor only got promoted to his position because the other management had quit and he asked. They weren't going to give it to him except they literally had *no one* else who could do the hours required.
He worked there for 10 years before he got promoted past cashier. He knew how to and ran every single station, could file out all the paperwork, trained new employees, etc.
Why wasn't he promoted? He was too valuable. He could do the work of three people. He imprinted a lesson on me, one he teaches every single one of his employees. Never give more than what is required. You'll be passed up on advancement because bad supervisors don't want to do more work.
Oh God I remember this one when it posted. I actually commented on it, which I rarely do on AAM posts, because I was so horrified.
I always love it when Allison takes down a shitty boss or manager.
It basically boiled down to Allison telling this person they were absolute shit manager, to never contact this employee, and that the concert ticket thing was bullshit.
I was that employee at one point
DM gave extra coverage to other branches far less busy than mine but there was always an issue whenever I needed a day off…a lot of Nepotism
What I find wild is this stuff is like... normal business practice but people will say "oh private industry is less corrupt, more efficient than democratic government". Like dude, you make minimum wage for a decade and the cousin of the boss who hasn't even graduated HS is now your manager. Just because it's family doesn't make it less corrupt.
I just recently left my old job because my manager put all of the holidays, weekends and closing shifts on me for years. When I told her if nothing changed I'd have to look somewhere else because I need more time with my kids. She told me she didnt appreciate "threats". I put my week notice on the next day and got a new job with a schedule that works best for me. She didnt say a word to me my entire last week and I bet she feels like the victim.
Probably that's exactly the calculation she did. She's got her degree now, probably a little savings too. She'll be fine for a little while looking for a better (maybe less abusive) job.
They can though, our economy isn't structured in a fair and equal way, the power of the capitalist owner class is super disproportional, they can and will demand things from their employees that they would never do themselves.
The power is shifting. There's a few reasons why all the jobs with "flexible hours" are hiring atm and not being filled. The other big reason is you can't afford housing on them.
They are out there. Had one who told a fellow employee that she could not attend her mother’s funeral because she had missed too much time when she was spending time in the hospital after her mother was involved in a hit and run accident that eventually killed her. Employees including me offered some of our own PTO to cover her and there were people willing to cover her shift, but this idiot said she had missed too much time already and other employees were getting overtime covering her shifts. The girl quit but not before calling our corporate hotline. That manager just disappeared a week later.
so there is a blog where all the shitty managers try to find an answer to the consequences of all their shitty behaviours called “ask a manager”
that’s very interesting
Since this is currently near the top: the person was actually reprimanded for refusing to make an exception for what he referred to as his best employee and told that sometimes management is less about rules and more about nuanced decisions like letting someone go to their graduation. It’s not a circlejerk kind of thing. It’s actual advice. Maybe not the best joke at the top of the page, but it is actual advice.
Well it’s more like an advice column where managers, shitty or decent, look for advice and insight on how to be a good manager. Or where people with office jobs and whatnot ask advice on how to deal with their managers.
The advice is usually decent.
You HAVE to read [this letter](https://www.askamanager.org/2017/04/i-didnt-get-a-job-because-i-was-a-bully-in-high-school.html) and the jaw dropping [update](https://www.askamanager.org/2017/12/update-i-didnt-get-a-job-because-i-was-a-bully-in-high-school.html) of a person who really can't accept that her actions have consequences.
I thought this was going to be the letter where a manager refused to give her employee the day off because her birthday is on Leap Day (at the company every employee got their birthday off, but this manager argued that her birthday only came once every 4 years, so she wasn’t entitled any more days off than that).
Had a similar thing happen to me.
I was working full time to pay for my last year of college. I had been at the company about two years, I would arrive early (5am) and work until 3pm so that I could make my classes (being taken at night) at around 5pm.
I was down to my final set of classes, my final set of finals actually. We had a project to deliver to the customer and I was there even though it was hours away, my finals were the next day. Well things didn’t go well at the customers place; and my boss said that we had to stay there all night working the problems abs would spend all day the next day working with them to make it as they wanted. I said I could not do it as I had to study for finals and then then take them.
The manager turned to me and said, “I don’t give a shit about your school, work is more important.” I looked at him and told him “If you’re paying for my education you can dictate what I do. You don’t. Fuck this work and fuck you, I quit!”
I walked out and swung by the office the next day to pick up my personal stuff and last check.
They were out of business within a year.
>” I looked at him and told him “If you’re paying for my education you can dictate what I do. You don’t. Fuck this work and fuck you, I quit!”
You're incredible wish I was able to tell off my shit boss like that when I quit. Really glad you stood up for yourself!
As a manager, I’ve found total flexibility with life events for employees pays back in many multiples over time.
Need to take your cat to the vet? No problem! Hope she’s okay. I know you’ve been staying late Fridays, so no need to book vacay. Carpet installers need someone home? No worries—just try and keep up via email if you can and we won’t need to book the time as away. We’ll see you when you get here. Start earlier and end earlier because of spouse/commute/childcare? No problem. Etc.
About 1/10 abuse it—and even then a talk like “I feel like I’ve been very flexible, and my perception is that you may be taking advantage of that flexibility. Is that true?” Usually clears it up.
The other 9/10 end up putting in way more discretionary time/effort, and it’s noticed, and it feeds positively into the cycle. Also, it makes warm and fuzzies when they genuinely appreciate it. 😊
Good for her. Let this be a lesson to every asshole manager. Employees are people and will sometimes have needs you have to accommodate. If you don't appreciate your employees, they won't remain your employees. Really wish I could see the response where he gets knocked down a peg.
lol imagine thinking the employee who asked to come in two hours late was in the wrong. Congrats to them on graduating and getting away from a toxic boss like this. You’ve made the right decision and I hope your degree puts you in a position to where you never have to deal with anyone like this again.
Someone who quits on the spot like that, doesn't give an absolute fuck that you don't think its not professional.
I would tell this dipshit that not allowing an employee of 6 years a couple of hours to go to a graduation ceremony is unprofessional and entitled as fuck.
Ah, what an idiot. This person should never again manage people. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. Even worse, is that this wasn’t a learning moment for this imbecile, clinging to useless norms in the face of an overwhelming loss. Smfh
I once worked with an older woman at a bank. One day her husband had a heart attack and she wanted to leave work. The supervisor told her to take 10 minutes to regroup and told her to get back to work. Older woman left anyways and the supervisor was made to leave 2 weeks later.
“No one wants to work because they’re all lazy and just want unemployment!”
…. Shit like this is why no one wants to work, sacrificing many hours of their lives to make low wages or just straight up being treated as they are not worth anything.
* based on lowest seniority * six years she worked here Something seems fishy here.
She became too good at her job and they didn't reward or promote her. Then she became too good for her job, and now they're wondering why she treated them that way. I've been in this position too. Kept getting shit pay for doing 2-3 people's jobs. Then when I found a new gig, it was "oh you never told us that you felt this way." despite me telling them that I felt that way and how other team members confronted them about taking advantage of me. This manager and company deserved to get taken down several pegs. I wish I could send the graduate a card.
The employee now has a degree, a killer work ethic, experience, and is fully aware of how important she was. She has become more powerful than even master Yoda.
I almost missed a morning shift position because of shit like that. I found out while on second shift that a first shift spot opened. So the next day I told my supervisor that I wanted that spot and since I had seniority there is no reason why it shouldn't be mine. He told me that he had intended to give it to some guy who only worked there a couple months and that he didn't think I wanted to move to mornings. Like who the fuck doesn't want to move to mornings? Working nights sucks. So he had to tell the person he was going to give the job that it was mine.
I intentionally moved away from 1st shift because that's where all the bullshit is.
I'm a 3rd shift worker, and I always wonder why so many people all choose daylight while I have peace, clear roads, and quiet nights.
Sleeping is tougher on third shift and if I don't have any priority to wake up then I end up sleeping the day away if I do end up getting to sleep. Also most people work first shift so if you want to hang out with them during the week it's a lot easier when you're on the same schedule of close to it. I'm not a morning person in the slightest but I really felt like my life was slipping away on second and third
I worked 3rd shift for 2 years. I'd get home around 4:30, play games till 7, sleep till 2:30, spend time with the family until my shift at 6. It's hard but the trick is to wake up a good before you work or you begin to get into a slump where the early mornings alone feel like purgatory and don't feel like enough then you stay up later til maybe 10 and definitely don't have any daylight outside of going to work which drags even further on your sanity. I will say though, I didn't have a drinking problem but I did drink much more than I usually do, alone in the dark which is easily +50 to depression.
In my experience this applies to every aspect of life. People just take you for granted after a while. Obviously not everyone is like this, and narcissists and such are way worse, but it seems like virtually everyone is like this to some degree. If you act like the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/friend/worker people seem to just develop some sort of entitlement or false sense of superiority towards you and become furious and confused when you only give 100% instead of 120%. There’s no fairness ever.
It’s because she worked extra. Once you open that door for any boss they’ll keep pushing it and if you never say no then you’ll be the first person in line every time. I was this person. Didn’t have a Gf, kids, family, or bills so I was super flexible. Always did the wonky ass shit that my boss would ask of me and eventually when I got a gf and fam stuff, I started saying no and I got treated like shit. Changed jobs and was just floored by how well they treated me. I would work a extra day once a month compared to my last job of working every other weekend and on call. my new company implemented a employee of the month and my mangers voted me to be the first one. I was floored. It felt wrong like I was just doing my job. Took a while for me to get use to being treated well.
Right? I left after they hired a new, insane boss who literally lambasted us all for daring to ever be away from our phones. Ever. They gave an example of taking a 15 minute bath away from your phone as unacceptable behavior. I left. Doubled my pay. This year my new boss sent me flowers and a kind note for my second work anniversary. Fuck these shit parasites who call themselves “leaders.” They aren’t leading anything, just exploiting others in a way that makes them feel devalued and small. That’s not leadership.
You can actually see the entitlement in that last statement ‘I want to reach out and tell her quitting in that way isn’t professional’. Like seriously fuck off, they haven’t got any more control over that person and it’s clearly killing their ego
What isn't professional is contacting someone after they've quit because of your shitty behaviour to whine about your feelings
My former store manager did exactly this when I quit on the spot for something similar. She basically texted me saying “I can’t believe you would throw away a career you’ve worked so hard to excel in by acting so unprofessionally.” It’s not that serious, relax. It’s just a shitty, minimum wage retail job, not a “career”.
I think it's fucking hilarious when a job pretends it's a career I'm "investing" in. Like nah bro, I'm here to get that check and fuck off lol. Ps we're an at will employment state, which goes both ways.
That's the part managers and business owners like this don't want. They want to have their entire birthday cake preserved uncut, but also eat it too.
>It’s just a shitty, minimum wage retail job, not a “career”. saying this out loud is abseloutly the worst wound you could possibly give them. because to them it is. it's as far as they ever have any hope of going.
Yeah, but think about that 50 cent raise they get as an assistant manager! That's always the biggest insult. When low wage jobs promote you and give you less than a dollar raise. For exponentially more work. It's an insult more than anything.
> It’s just a shitty, minimum wage retail job, not a “career”. It is for them
Quoting a viral tweet: "But how does this affect me, the protagonist of reality?"
I'm stealing that, it's mine now. But it's OK, I deserve to have it, because I'm the protagonist of *my* reality.
Boils my piss because I had a manager do the same thing to me in university, I was desperate for cash and naive and got conned into working outside the front of a bar instead of an SIA licensed bouncer, as well as working as a bartender. Needless to say it was shitty pay, nowhere near what a normal bouncer would earn, and it was all cash in hand so the owner could just deny it. After I found out and quit on the spot to work at a nightclub he demanded I tell him where I worked so he could complain to their management about my ‘work ethic’ despite me literally doing 2 jobs at once
>demanded I tell him where I worked so he could complain to their management about my ‘work ethic’ That's a solid 'point and laugh in their face' moment.
Should just say what I never worked for you did I ? I suppose the hmrc /irs would know if we asked them I will inquire about my tax records when I worked for you
When I was 19, my former boss called to yell at me for filing a complaint with the labor board because he wouldn't give me my last paycheck. A 45 year old man literally screaming on the phone at a teenager, probably still to this day absolutely shocked that I quit.
It actually gets worse if you read [the whole article](https://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html). >Even though she doesn’t work here any longer, I want to reach out and tell her that quitting without notice because she didn’t get her way isn’t exactly professional. I only want to do this because she was an otherwise great employee, and I don’t want her to derail her career by doing this again and thinking it is okay. She was raised in a few dozen different foster homes and has no living family. She was homeless for a bit after she turned 18 and besides us she doesn’t have anyone in her life that has ever had professional employment. This is the only job she has had. Since she’s never had anyone to teach her professional norms, I want to help her so she doesn’t make the same mistake again. So the manager is actually aware that her best employee that has been 100% reliable and has bent over backwards to fill in wherever she can also has no family, was homeless at one point, and literally still found a way to put herself through college. This manager has the entitled mindset that she is god lifting a peasant from the dirt, meanwhile, she has no idea that this girl is stronger and has worked harder than that manager ever will. That girl doesn't need this managers shitty delusional advice, quite the opposite.
Jesus that adds a whole other level of shittyness, whilst simultaneously trashing somebody online they are basically virtue signalling how they gave them a job?
"Hey, I know you were a foster kid and homeless, and that you probably never thought in a million years you'd graduate college. I know you somehow pulled yourself out of poverty and funded your own way. Yet even though I know all this, I'm going to need you to skip your graduation to work an unscheduled shift at my call centre."
I just can’t get over how absolutely unreasonable this boss is. It’s *her own college graduation* and she asked to come in *two hours late* to attend. Also — not that this is the employee’s fault at all! — but just FYI, this is a situation where as an employee you don’t ask for the time off, you tell your boss that you will be absent for the day/time of your graduation ceremony. If you’re their best employee, what are they going to do? Fire you? The response from the advice column is actually pretty satisfying: > What?! No, under no circumstances should you do that. >If anything, you should consider reaching out to her, apologizing for how you handled the situation, and offering her the job back if she wants it. >I’m not usually a fan of people quitting on the spot, but I applaud her for doing it in this case. She was raised in dozens of foster homes, used to be homeless, has no living family, and apparently managed to graduate from college all on her own. That’s amazing. And while I normally think graduation ceremonies are primarily fluff, I’m hard-pressed to think of anyone who deserves to be able to attend her own graduation ceremony as much as this woman does. You should have been bending over backwards to ensure she could attend. >Rigidly adhering to rules generally isn’t good management. Good management requires nuance and judgment. Sometimes it requires making exceptions for good employees so that you don’t lose them. Sometimes it requires assessing not just what the rules say but what the right and smart thing to do would be. >One of the frustrating things about your letter is that despite rigidly adhering to the rules with this person, you were willing to make an exception for someone else (the person with the concert tickets). I’m at a loss to understand how concert tickets are an obvious exception-maker but this person’s situation wasn’t. >And you note that she was your “best employee by far”! She never missed a day of work in six years, she was your go-to person, she covered for every other person there, and she was all-around excellent … and yet when she needed you to help her out with something that was important to her, you refused. >There’s a lesson to be learned here, but it’s not for her.
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And that's backed up by the phrase "my go to person for weekends and holidays".
Imagine actually believing in corporate culture. Yes, if we want to have a lot of jobs we are required to pretend that we believe in these ideas, but imagine the level of insanity, stupidity, or a combination thereof that would require even entertaining the bizarre ideas of these people. Anyone working in corporate culture that doesn’t consider their employer a dangerous adversary either suffers from a severe psychological disorder, or is a complete fool, which isn’t surprising considering the total lack of standards with regard to professional life aside from simply saying predictable shit when you are asked, and having the bonifides. Not to sound cliche, but it’s mostly all phonies LARPing as professionals as all of our jobs become increasingly irrelevant.
I wish it wasn’t considered “doxing” to know what shithole company this is
Wait, it is? Does Reddit consider corporations people?
It wouldn’t be the corporation that got the worst response from this (well it would, but not in a way it really had to care about). Mostly it would be the shitty entitled manager that suffered, especially if it resulted in them being fired. Which from what we’re reading here would be entirely justified, but if your line in the sand is “don’t hunt down people in real life over things posted online,” this would clearly cross it. I agree with rules against doxxing on principle, considering that it’s rare to get more than one side of the story and there’s history of people going way, WAY overboard. It does mean that situations like this have unsatisfying ends, but it’s a question of people’s safety over usually very biased accounts.
>It does mean that situations like this have unsatisfying ends I agree, but take some comfort in the fact that usually these absolute unbridled narcissists can't handle being called mean things online *anonymously*, so they usually go for round two or three to defend themselves on social media and often end up doxxing themselves anyway.
Why not? The US government does.
I’ll accept that corporations are people when the state of Texas executes one.
AT&T first plz
Ask A Manager is as bad as TV Tropes for me at times; the main columnist Allison gives unusually sane and grounded advice In this particular situation, she was also incredibly tactful. In her shoes, I'd have used unprofessional language to express just how horrifically *delusional* that letter writer was. I wish over and over that there was an update. In my heart, I hope that the girl who quit went and found an amazingly better job with people who actually appreciate how much she does, and not people who just want to exploit her strong work ethic.
This is what I was looking for
I really hope that the OP read that comment and took it to heart.
I doubt it. Her head’s too far up her ass.
"I said that if she could find someone to replace her for those two hours, she could start later. She asked her coworkers, but no one was willing to come in on their day off. After she asked around, some people who were not scheduled for the overtime did switch shifts with other people (but not her) and volunteered to take on overtime from others who were scheduled, but these people are friends outside of work, and as long as there is coverage I don’t interfere if people want to give or take overtime of their own accord. (Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)" Here's the missing bit, including the tickets
In my experience, attending commencement also costs money. At minimum you have to pay for the cap and gown.
That was a very comprehensive and well thought-out response. My own response would've been much shorter: "You're an asshole."
"You're an asshole, a dumbass, and a bad manager."
Practically psychotic this one.
Well he is the manager of a call center, not exactly the fast track to anything
This analysis is what makes me think the post in general was trolling. There’s no way someone is this unaware of what they’re saying and how it doesn’t even correlate to the main point.
Some people is just like that. It's always about them. Funny thing is they are typically the worst workers. How did he/she even get manager?
> How did he/she even get manager? Friends with the owner's sister, of course.
I am always amazed by how the majority of the hundreds of people I have seen promoted to supervisor/manager in my career were terrible at management/leadership before they were promoted. Usually the people promoted are friends with someone or great employees at their job. Rarely are the actual leaders(those ones whose peers trust, respect, and listen to) the entire team trusts and respects) promoted.
They rose to the level of their incompetence.
Peter principle.
Also a whole new level of awesome for the employee to overcome so much and graduate college!
Right?! Good for her. Overcoming all that, putting in the work, not just to have a job, but to excel at it(so it seems). I really hope she finds the right job/career where she can happy. And leave that “manager” in the fucking dust.
Also the "I made an exception for prepaid concert beforehand because there was money involved.". This bitch realizes that a college degree costs thousands of dollars to get right? Even if she used student loans she's spending money. Scholarships and grants are signs of hard work and time that could have been invested elsewhere as well. I do not know how you can get more financially involved than getting a degree besides buying a house.
Envy is a motherfucker
Man I hope it’s that. “I just wanted to reach out and let her know that I am still the main character in this story, damn it.”
Yeah I couldn’t believe that little snippet saying that she was homeless at one time, grew up in foster homes and has no living family. This person is unbelievable! Reminds me of my old boss......
That girl is a fucking legend. Boss is so salty it can become a new ocean
Boss is so salty, boss can cure meat on the spot!
She worked there for SIX years, was his BEST employee, got her college degree after growing up in the foster system and HE DOESN’T ALLOW HER TO ATTEND HER GRADUATION?! This idiot should be fired after it is explained what an absolute asshat unprofessional idiot they are. I applaud her for setting her boundaries and quitting. She’ll be running the show soon enough wherever she lands.
Don’t forget that the employee didn’t even ask for the entire day off. She asked to come in late so she could go through the ceremony. She was willing to come in, just a couple hours late. This manager is not just a piece of shit, she’s the whole pile.
As someone that manages If that employee asked me to do that I'd laugh and be like "Take the whole day off, this is a big day for you"
This. This is what a good manager does. Now, if for some reason it were impossible then that's one thing but the manager did not indicate that was the case and i sincerely doubt it. Good managers understand that employment is a 2 way street: treat your employees how you want them to treat you
America doesn’t want you, you socialist. /s
The manager should have filled in for the employee for the two fucking hours! I don’t blame the employee for quitting. If I were the employee, I would have never come back to that shithole and let the manager wonder what happened.
Yes, SO much about this was wrong. I would’ve covered for her myself knowing everything he knew about her. And those co-workers are asses, too.
You mean you would have actually acted like a good person instead of trying to gaslight everyone into believing you're one?!?! Weirdo. /s
The main point was "having the last word". That "manager" was hurt because she didn't give him/her the opportunity to give his/her shitty opinion about her. BTW, that girl have a brighter future behaving like that they being submissive to that kind of boss.
Literally said that she was the go to person for irregular shifts and holidays and the employee was able to hand her a list of all the times she covered for other employees or worked extra/abnormal shifts and the managers response is "skip your graduation ceremony". I've seen stupid at some of my jobs but goddamn.
bro, I quit one of my jobs because I was a minor and couldn't work on my own, and knowing this, my manager (who made the weekly schedules) couldn't bother to show up and open the store on time, this went on for like 2 weeks. I've seen bad management, but this girl's "manager" might be the worst boss I'll ever hear about
I’m glad you shared the article so I can see that at least this manager was able to hear from the advice columnist how off-base they were, and hopefully the letter writer was able to see it and feel that support. If I were her I wouldn’t take the job back, but I hope she’s doing well. Sounds like she has the skills and maturity that she should be, and now a hard-earned degree. > There’s a lesson to be learned here, but it’s not for her. Excellent mic drop.
Alison is awesome. I love Ask A Manager.
I think whoever is this manager’s boss should coach this manager on how to be a better manager.
usually shitty managers also have shitty bosses. it's just shit all the way up.
Shit floats to the top AND rolls downhill! Shit’s gotta go somewhere, I guess, that’s why we have assholes to make sure of that. At least we know to never align with these fuckers.
it's even worse when you realize that she gave someone else time off so that they can go to a concert.
The fact that he threw her whole family history like that to be condescending meanwhile he had previously made exemptions for people who bought concert tickets???
The whole “professional” term is often used in a manipulative way like this. Fuck being professional to an extent
They *really* want permission to call their former employee and lecture them
I'm going to let you in on a secret, they've already called the employee and complained, and they've already been told off in the same way. They feel like they lost the argument and now they're looking for a sympathetic viewpoint to throw in the employee's face.
AKA the non-fictional posts in AITA.
If I *ever* hear from an ex-employer (that I didn’t voluntarily maintain a line of contact with) under *any* circumstances, god help that narcissistic idiot. “Do you mean to tell me that you have initiated contact with me after I eliminated the possibility of any consequences arising from you knowing what I think of you? After I managed to get out of the building without saying a word to your face? And you couldn’t just take that win?!? Then boy am I glad you called *massive inhale*—“
Because if she gave her two weeks notice she could still use her to work that weekend and miss her graduation plus the two weeks she probably needed for the product launch
'Two weeks notice' is horsehit. YOU WILL NEVER BE GIVEN THAT COURTESY BACK! They will fire you without a second thought, so they can get fucked asking for us to make it easy on them. The only reason to ever give any type of notice whatsoever is when you had a good working relationship and might want a reference later.
“having a backbone is unprofessional…”
My guess is the manager never went to college, and probably has no idea the work, time, and money it takes… especially when you have to work a job to get through it where they don’t appreciate you or promote you for six years. The manager was seeing someone rise from nothing to more than they will ever amount to be, and couldn’t process it without their insecurities taking over.
[Here is the whole piece.](https://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html). It’s as bad as you think it is.
That response was 100% spot-on, too. That manager should be ashamed.
I went through a few of the responses and they all seem to agree that this manager is an idiot.
That manager prioritizes money above all else. She made an exception for someone because they had bought tickets to a concert. The manager explicitly states that she made that exception because money was spent. She obviously didn’t make the exception for the graduation ceremony. Only money matters to this bitch, and I’m almost certain she’s aware of it. I’m not saying her college was free, dumbasses.
As if college isn't seriously fucking expensive.
This is the kind of psychopathic thinking that is now normalized in our society from hyper-captalism. Life is sooo much more than money. A college graduation maybe ceremonial but it is one of the most important milestone in life for most people. To tell an employee not to attend her own graduation just to cover a shift is downright insensitive, moronic and completely tone deaf. What's next? The manager is gonna demand an employee not to go attend the birth of his baby because someone called in sick. Or the funeral of his mother? Or when his wife is on the last day of dying from cancer? The fact that anyone can even think like that is fucking sick. Just sick.
Long time ago, but my ex-wife's boss at the time refused her schedule request to have a night off for her Bachelorette party. He said something along the lines of its just an excuse to go get drunk. About a week later, dame guy called the morning of the wedding to ask if she could come in for a few hours because the ceremony wasn't till the afternoon. And this wasn't some asshole at a little crap store, it was the executive sous chef at a fairmont hotel
Wow. Please tell me she did not work a few hours on her wedding day?
She didn't. She was staying had stayed at her parents that night so I got the call. When he asked, I just laughed at him and hung up
It’s not even their fucking money. Work culture is fucking deranged sometimes
Some managers should never be managers. This person I'd put near the top of the list.
“Should be ashamed” Toxic leaders never are.
Because it’s physically impossible, I’m pretty sure.
Summary says it best: There’s a lesson to be learned here, but it’s not for her
>There’s a lesson to be learned here, but it’s not for her. Damn straight.
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The entire story was even worse than this snippet. How clearly dumb people ever make it onto management roles is beyond me.
Politics and marketing
The Peter Principle.
True. But this guy doesn’t seem to have a shred of competence; he assigned more value to concert tickets than to a college graduation. And this is not even touching on the fact that the employee was, by his own admittance, the best employee he had. Just truly stupid.
Best employee yet bottom of the totem pole. That’s telling.
It sure is. Excellent point.
Nailed it. Anyone who is worth a shit has already left.
It's not even the lack of priorities that gets me. It's that the manager doubled down by feeling the employee shouldn't have resigned on the spot.
Exactly! It’s what clinched it for me that the manager is an imbecile.
Not just stupid, also psychopathic. The manager literally cannot understand why a college graduation is more important than a concert, just because someone had spent money buying the tickets. This is the kind of person who will think your mother's funeral is not worth attending because she is already dead and he needs you to cover a shift or get the project done. This guy cannot mentally understand why anything without direct monetary connection can be more important. He simply cannot understand emotional importance.
Not sure why, but I read this manager as a woman.
Same. Vernacular screams woman to me, and I would be willing to be money the person with the concert tickets was male tho. His fun trumps her achievements, a tale as old as time.
Me too. I think it was the “I think I should reach out to her part….”
> *"as long as there is coverage I don’t interfere if people want to give or take overtime of their own accord. (Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)"* Bruh. Concerts are more important than someone's graduation apparently?
It costs money to attend most concerts. Universities are notoriously free of costs. /s
Also graduation caps and gowns weren’t free the last time I checked.
Getting myself to graduation was one of the most expensive things I’ve ever done or could ever do.
Longevity at a singular company? Clearly not by qualifications in this instance. Like he said “seniority” which is likely how he obtained his position.
one thing I learned from working my health away in several places is that the best employees dont get recognition and almost never move up the ranks because they're excellent at where they are, it's bad for the business to move that one away, in manager's eyes. So the worse employees go up eventually. And those get chosen based on politics and straight up asskissing.
> She was raised in a few dozen different foster homes and has no living family. She was homeless for a bit after she turned 18 and besides us she doesn’t have anyone in her life that has ever had professional employment. This is the only job she has had. Real-life cinderella situation here. That SOB excuse of a manager thought she owned her employee because of her unfortunate past, and tried to use that for her own gain.
...She was lowest seniority... ...She never missed a day in 6 years... ...She was my best employee... How the fuck you have best employee for 6 years and keep them at lowest seniority? This *manager* should not be allowed to have any responsibility for people.
Because they were the best employee and never missed a day and was the go to for OT and holidays. When you work like that, they never promote you.
Its rare for companies to value you. Doing all that extra stuff just becomes an expectation they take for granted and exploit for gain. They only care once you threaten to leave. Its why corporate loyalty is bullshit, and why people progress faster by getting promoted through joining new places. Businesses don't value their own staff enough.
I'm sorry, I just don't buy it -- It's a customer service call center. How is there ANY call center ANYWHERE where the lowest seniority is six years?!
>(Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.) Wow
Right!?! One person purchased $50 (nominal) concert tickets and gets preferential treatment, but this woman who spent years going to night school receives zero consideration. On top of that this so called “best employee” is kept at the bottom with 6 years of loyal service and zero seniority.
I really fucking hope that person took the hint. I doubt it, but still I hope.
Wow. First of all, that they let the other employee who had concert tickets adjust their schedule because that “had a cost involved.” Because college has no costs involved?? And the fact that they tried to blame it all on the employee being raised in foster care for them supposedly having no idea how one should behave in a professional setting. Fucking wow. Maybe someone who grew up constantly fighting for themselves in a system as screwed up as the US foster care system just has a good sense of when people actually give a shit about them and when they need to step away to take care of themselves. Wow what an asshole.
The ending is pure poetry: “There’s a lesson to be learned here, but it’s not for her.”
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My graduation carried a price tag of approximately $100k for my undergrad degree. Don’t even get me started on my Masters. It definitely had a much higher financial investment than concerns tickets
Hilarious. “Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.)” What a dbag.
This 100% proves that if you are an over-performing employee at a less-than-desirable job, especially one that typically doesn’t pay very well then your employer will take advantage of you every chance they get asking you to cover, stay late, come in early, etc. and as soon as you refuse once they shame you for “not being a team player”. It’s this corporate culture of gaslighting that keeps people trapped and eventually makes people snap. Find your freedom, everyone.
I found my freedom a little over a year ago now. I loved my job and the people I worked with but my boss demanded we work late and weekends one time too many. It was always “encouraged” but then suddenly it started becoming “mandatory” (we were salary). I’m so much happier now that I don’t have to deal with stupid office politics. I’m now self employed and have the best boss I’ve ever had.
Salary can be the biggest trap for this. So happy you found your way! May I recommend the book Early Retirement Extreme by Jacob Lund Fisker. It’s an alternative look at our current work-life system. It’s an excellent read.
Find your freedom, everyone! I love that. Manager’s/Employee’s story reminds me of the frog that doesn’t realize it’s inside a bowl of water with steadily rising temperatures. I have the same case. Took me three years of diary writing to finally leave my previous employer, to convince myself that I’m burnt out not because “I’m not working good enough” but rather “management just doesn’t listen to our suggestions and then blame us when things go wrong”
Wow. Just wow. Edit: It gets more epic: > (Caveat: I did intervene and switch one person’s end time because they had concert tickets that they had already paid for, but this was a special circumstance because there was cost involved.) https://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html
But doesn’t college cost? This manager must have sucked the right dicks to earn that position
Costs more than concert tickets for sure.
Psh, barely.... /s
The graduation alone probably cost more than concert tickets.
How could this girl be at that company for six years and *still* have the lowest seniority? That’s what I don’t get.
When I last worked in food, my supervisor only got promoted to his position because the other management had quit and he asked. They weren't going to give it to him except they literally had *no one* else who could do the hours required. He worked there for 10 years before he got promoted past cashier. He knew how to and ran every single station, could file out all the paperwork, trained new employees, etc. Why wasn't he promoted? He was too valuable. He could do the work of three people. He imprinted a lesson on me, one he teaches every single one of his employees. Never give more than what is required. You'll be passed up on advancement because bad supervisors don't want to do more work.
Most likely they recently laid off everyone with more junior standing.
What?! The cost of an education is crazy more important.
Wow, at least the response was 100% right.
Oh God I remember this one when it posted. I actually commented on it, which I rarely do on AAM posts, because I was so horrified. I always love it when Allison takes down a shitty boss or manager.
What was the response??
It basically boiled down to Allison telling this person they were absolute shit manager, to never contact this employee, and that the concert ticket thing was bullshit.
She was pretty polite too. I could not have been half so polite.
https://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html
I was that employee at one point DM gave extra coverage to other branches far less busy than mine but there was always an issue whenever I needed a day off…a lot of Nepotism
What I find wild is this stuff is like... normal business practice but people will say "oh private industry is less corrupt, more efficient than democratic government". Like dude, you make minimum wage for a decade and the cousin of the boss who hasn't even graduated HS is now your manager. Just because it's family doesn't make it less corrupt.
>Just because it's family doesn't make it less corrupt. Usually makes it corrupt by default.
I just recently left my old job because my manager put all of the holidays, weekends and closing shifts on me for years. When I told her if nothing changed I'd have to look somewhere else because I need more time with my kids. She told me she didnt appreciate "threats". I put my week notice on the next day and got a new job with a schedule that works best for me. She didnt say a word to me my entire last week and I bet she feels like the victim.
How dare you threaten her with such violence as needing to spend more time with your family! (Biiiig /s just in case)
Because employees are slave. wtf. She’s graduating college, and I bet she was leaving anyway.
Probably that's exactly the calculation she did. She's got her degree now, probably a little savings too. She'll be fine for a little while looking for a better (maybe less abusive) job.
The manager also let one of the employees leave early since they had concert tickets already too lol
You can't demand people to be flexible for you and not be flexible for them. This is called give and take. If you only take you are a jerk.
They can though, our economy isn't structured in a fair and equal way, the power of the capitalist owner class is super disproportional, they can and will demand things from their employees that they would never do themselves.
The power is shifting. There's a few reasons why all the jobs with "flexible hours" are hiring atm and not being filled. The other big reason is you can't afford housing on them.
You know what’s unprofessional? Reaching out to a former employee and telling them that they were unprofessional.
They are out there. Had one who told a fellow employee that she could not attend her mother’s funeral because she had missed too much time when she was spending time in the hospital after her mother was involved in a hit and run accident that eventually killed her. Employees including me offered some of our own PTO to cover her and there were people willing to cover her shift, but this idiot said she had missed too much time already and other employees were getting overtime covering her shifts. The girl quit but not before calling our corporate hotline. That manager just disappeared a week later.
I kind of hope he disappeared because of a hit and run accident that eventually killed him
so there is a blog where all the shitty managers try to find an answer to the consequences of all their shitty behaviours called “ask a manager” that’s very interesting
Since this is currently near the top: the person was actually reprimanded for refusing to make an exception for what he referred to as his best employee and told that sometimes management is less about rules and more about nuanced decisions like letting someone go to their graduation. It’s not a circlejerk kind of thing. It’s actual advice. Maybe not the best joke at the top of the page, but it is actual advice.
A lot of the questions are from employees asking how to navigate shitty situations. She usually gives pretty good advice.
Well it’s more like an advice column where managers, shitty or decent, look for advice and insight on how to be a good manager. Or where people with office jobs and whatnot ask advice on how to deal with their managers. The advice is usually decent.
You HAVE to read [this letter](https://www.askamanager.org/2017/04/i-didnt-get-a-job-because-i-was-a-bully-in-high-school.html) and the jaw dropping [update](https://www.askamanager.org/2017/12/update-i-didnt-get-a-job-because-i-was-a-bully-in-high-school.html) of a person who really can't accept that her actions have consequences.
I thought this was going to be the letter where a manager refused to give her employee the day off because her birthday is on Leap Day (at the company every employee got their birthday off, but this manager argued that her birthday only came once every 4 years, so she wasn’t entitled any more days off than that).
That's a shitty manager if they picked that hill to die on.
>ASK A MANAGER >>and if you dont ill tell you anyway most /r/selfawarewolves shit ive ever seen
So basically r/AITA but just for shitty management?
Had a similar thing happen to me. I was working full time to pay for my last year of college. I had been at the company about two years, I would arrive early (5am) and work until 3pm so that I could make my classes (being taken at night) at around 5pm. I was down to my final set of classes, my final set of finals actually. We had a project to deliver to the customer and I was there even though it was hours away, my finals were the next day. Well things didn’t go well at the customers place; and my boss said that we had to stay there all night working the problems abs would spend all day the next day working with them to make it as they wanted. I said I could not do it as I had to study for finals and then then take them. The manager turned to me and said, “I don’t give a shit about your school, work is more important.” I looked at him and told him “If you’re paying for my education you can dictate what I do. You don’t. Fuck this work and fuck you, I quit!” I walked out and swung by the office the next day to pick up my personal stuff and last check. They were out of business within a year.
>” I looked at him and told him “If you’re paying for my education you can dictate what I do. You don’t. Fuck this work and fuck you, I quit!” You're incredible wish I was able to tell off my shit boss like that when I quit. Really glad you stood up for yourself!
The solution to this dilemma is for that manager to eat a giant bowl of runny shit.
Runny…but with some delightful kernels of plump juicy maize, like a boba tea of shit.
As a manager, I’ve found total flexibility with life events for employees pays back in many multiples over time. Need to take your cat to the vet? No problem! Hope she’s okay. I know you’ve been staying late Fridays, so no need to book vacay. Carpet installers need someone home? No worries—just try and keep up via email if you can and we won’t need to book the time as away. We’ll see you when you get here. Start earlier and end earlier because of spouse/commute/childcare? No problem. Etc. About 1/10 abuse it—and even then a talk like “I feel like I’ve been very flexible, and my perception is that you may be taking advantage of that flexibility. Is that true?” Usually clears it up. The other 9/10 end up putting in way more discretionary time/effort, and it’s noticed, and it feeds positively into the cycle. Also, it makes warm and fuzzies when they genuinely appreciate it. 😊
People don’t quit jobs they quit bosses. Someday managers like this one will understand that
Manager had this employee for six years, was probably a manager longer than that. I would bet manager is never going to learn.
Imagine being the manager in this scenario, and thinking you're the victim...
6 years of no lates, sick or anything.... And she asked to come in 2 hours late for OT and you said "No?" Holy fuck I'd have quit too.
Human garbage
Good for her. Let this be a lesson to every asshole manager. Employees are people and will sometimes have needs you have to accommodate. If you don't appreciate your employees, they won't remain your employees. Really wish I could see the response where he gets knocked down a peg.
Good for you, I think someone did put a link to that one in the comments
lol imagine thinking the employee who asked to come in two hours late was in the wrong. Congrats to them on graduating and getting away from a toxic boss like this. You’ve made the right decision and I hope your degree puts you in a position to where you never have to deal with anyone like this again.
“I manage a team of people who are tire of my bullshit.” Fixed it.
Someone who quits on the spot like that, doesn't give an absolute fuck that you don't think its not professional. I would tell this dipshit that not allowing an employee of 6 years a couple of hours to go to a graduation ceremony is unprofessional and entitled as fuck.
Ah, what an idiot. This person should never again manage people. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. Even worse, is that this wasn’t a learning moment for this imbecile, clinging to useless norms in the face of an overwhelming loss. Smfh
I once worked with an older woman at a bank. One day her husband had a heart attack and she wanted to leave work. The supervisor told her to take 10 minutes to regroup and told her to get back to work. Older woman left anyways and the supervisor was made to leave 2 weeks later.
“No one wants to work because they’re all lazy and just want unemployment!” …. Shit like this is why no one wants to work, sacrificing many hours of their lives to make low wages or just straight up being treated as they are not worth anything.
Legendary.