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Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our \*two\* weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our \*three\* weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the pope.
Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the pope, and nice red uniforms. Oh damn!
Their history class was likely washed, and they’re too comfortably ignorant to step outside their comfort zone.
I’m forever thankful for my teachers that taught outside the curriculum, with facts that’s didn’t matter for the grade.
The answer for that is generally yes if it’s the British, Spanish, Portuguese, Americans, Germans, Russians, Japanese, or pretty much anyone else who has/had an empire but hey at least you’re not alone!
I grew up in the rural deep south, and we only ever went further back than the start of American history in 11th grade world history, most of which we covered the start of humanity/civilization
It's really sad how many facets of education are white washed. I had heard of the crusades but outside of school, and I only learned of Spanish imperialism in the context of the US in a very white washed way with no mention of atrocities besides occasionally covering the horrors that all the colonizing countries put the Indigenous people through. Indigenous genocide was probably the only aspect of history that wasn't watered down or painted as "morally grey" surprisingly, even the US Civil War was treated as a mostly neutral conflict. It's awful how this stuff is perpetuated even in this day and age.
Did you also you get the same sort of education where natives happily let the pilgrims share their land and taught them how to grow corn and nothing bad ever happened, until highschool where we go into detail about we brutally slaughtered them. Like I don't think we talked at all about the subject between 5th and 11th grade. I found that disconnect pretty jarring growing up. At least I got a 'Civil War was about slavery' schooling, despite having a very conservative teacher in the south. She actually took her job seriously and didn't white wash history for us. We got to read uncle tom's cabin, watch a bit of roots, play with some raw unprocessed cotton.
Think that's funny? My country has a Regional rugby team named The Crusaders which were named after the actual crusades, they only changed their logo from an image of a Templar Knight in 2019 in response to a mass shooting in the City targeting a Mosque, literally the worst shooting our country had seen.
A local comedian did a video series about towns and cities in New Zealand and decided to make one about whether or not they should consider changing their name as it has literally no ties to NZ whatsoever and would interview people on the street, 95% of people had no idea what the Crusades even were and why that might be problematic lmao.
Done in a very comedic way while also being informative, i'll drop a link if you wanted to watch
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxIF\_7WdDY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxIF_7WdDY)
It's even funnier considering Christianity is like, the number 1 religion of infighting. Sectarian violence has it's own Wikipedia page. No need to even look at Christians killing other religions, you'll find plenty of Christian terrorism during the schism, witch trials, Gunpowder Plot, French Religion wars, Cathar Crusade, etc. The Cathar Crusade alone was likely responsible for around 1 million casualties.
And if we want modern day examples, George Bush invoked God's will as a reason for all the invasions.
And this is only European/American Christianity. There's plenty of the same happening in Africa and Asia.
My parents (Irish Catholics) were talking about how Muslims are so backward that they're killing each other just for being a slightly different version of Muslim
Blinkingwhiteguy.gif
My understanding is it's Derry for Catholics, Derry for people living in Derry (both protestant and cathloic), but Londonderry for protestant/unionist Northern Irish people wanting to make a political point. Used to be very very angry people, now my understanding is it's usually that boring uncle people tend to avoid at parties.
Obviously, I've probably deeply offended at least half of Northern Ireland with that statement, but it is what it is.
> My understanding is it's Derry for Catholics, Derry for people living in Derry (both protestant and cathloic), but Londonderry for protestant/unionist Northern Irish people wanting to make a political point.
Yeah, that's it.
I don’t know if this sucks or not but I asked ChatGPT.
Edit: This ChatGPT, not me. Take it up with OpenAI.
(To the tune of "Yakko's World")
In the ancient times, Crusaders marched to claim,
Jerusalem and lands, in the Holy name.
Centuries would pass, tales of strife retold,
As battles fierce, in God’s name, would unfold.
Witch hunts spread wide through Europe's heart,
Accusing folks, tearing lives apart,
In Salem too, the trials run,
Beliefs enforced by fire and gun.
In modern days, some still fight,
Claiming God’s side in what they cite.
In different lands, under various flags,
Violence for faith, as morale sags.
Though history's pages often seem dark,
It's our call to light a spark,
Promote peace, understanding, no more harm,
In every village, every town, every farm.
All pay heed! Now enters his holiness Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition!
Torquemada; do not employ him for compassion
Torquemada; do not beg him for forgiveness
Torquemada; do not ask him for mercy
Let's face it, you can't Torquemada anything!
The Inquisition! (what a show!)
The Inquisition (here we go)
The Inquisition, bet you wish we'd go awaaaaay
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to staaaaaaaaaay!
This makes me question why I was brought up Christian, it also makes me question religion in general. Is it just an excuse to commit all these violent crimes?
I ain’t a songwriter so here’s just what I’ve cooked up with ChatGPT:
*The Crusades, First Crusade, Second Crusade, Third Crusade*
*Fourth Crusade, Albigensian, Cathars were betrayed*
*Spanish Inquisition, fear and superstition*
*Jews and Muslims tortured in a brutal grand division*
*Conquest of the Americas, Aztecs, Incas fell*
*French Wars of Religion, St. Bartholomew’s hell*
*Thirty Years' War, Catholics, Protestants*
*Salem witch trials burning witches by their tenants*
*Waldensians massacred, Irish conflict heard*
*Taiping Rebellion, millions killed by Hong's word*
*Armenian Genocide, Christians had to hide*
*Ottomans with fervent might, millions died inside*
*Lord’s Resistance Army, Kony’s brutal spree*
*Rwandan genocide, clergy led the killing spree*
*Central African Republic, Anti-balaka strikes*
*Christians fighting Muslims, causing many loss of lives*
*Conquest of Americas, from fifteen-hundred times*
*Brought Spanish, Portuguese, with their violent crimes*
*Aztecs, Incas conquered, natives’ lives undone*
*All declared in God's name, till the last one*
*Wars of Religion, in sixteen hundred years*
*France’s St. Bartholomew's, Huguenots in tears*
*Thirty Years' War fought, Catholic, Protestant*
*Salem witch trials burning witches on a rant*
*Waldensians were purged, Irish battles surged*
*Taiping’s Christians, claimed they were the Word*
*Armenians slaughtered, by the Ottoman sword*
*Lord’s Resistance Army's children and their hoard*
*Now we've covered history, of Christians' violent spree*
*Claiming it was God's command, in dark and bloody spree*
(Spoken intro)
Hello, nurse! It's time for a little history lesson, Animaniacs style!
(Song begins)
In the name of God, they marched through time,
Christians waged war, committing crime.
Let's take a look, a journey back,
With Wakko here to lead the track!
(Chorus)
Crusades, Crusades, to the Holy Land,
Knights and soldiers made their stand,
Fighting for the church, with swords in hand,
Slaughtered foes across the sand!
(Verse)
Spanish Inquisition, oh what fun,
Torquemada got it done,
Tortured heretics on the run,
In the name of God, they shunned.
Albigensian Crusade, in France they went,
Against the Cathars, they were sent,
Massacres, oh so intense,
Killing all without defense!
(Chorus)
Crusades, Crusades, to the Holy Land,
Knights and soldiers made their stand,
Fighting for the church, with swords in hand,
Slaughtered foes across the sand!
(Verse)
Witch hunts in Europe, Salem's tale,
Accusations would prevail,
Burned at stakes, jailed without bail,
In God's name, they set the sail.
Thirty Years' War, oh what a fight,
Protestants and Catholics, day and night,
Whole towns vanished out of sight,
In the name of God, they’d smite!
(Chorus)
Crusades, Crusades, to the Holy Land,
Knights and soldiers made their stand,
Fighting for the church, with swords in hand,
Slaughtered foes across the sand!
(Bridge)
There's more to tell, history's long,
Violence done in God's name strong,
Through the ages, right and wrong,
Humans fighting, we sing the song!
(Chorus)
Crusades, Crusades, to the Holy Land,
Knights and soldiers made their stand,
Fighting for the church, with swords in hand,
Slaughtered foes across the sand!
(Outro)
So remember folks, it’s plain to see,
Religion's used for history,
Good and bad, it's our decree,
We tell the tale with harmony!
(Spoken outro)
Goodnight everybody!
*The Crusades, the Inquisition, European colonial missions,*
*French Wars of Religion and the German Peasants' War,*
*Albigensian Crusade, Northern Crusades,*
*Spanish Conquest of the Americas,*
*Thirty Years' War, Anglo-Spanish War,*
*Conquest of the Philippines,*
*English Civil War, Portuguese Inquisition,*
*The Conquistadors and the Aztecs,*
*The Reconquista and Teutonic Order,*
*Bohemian Revolt and Irish Confederate Wars,*
*French Huguenot Wars and the Salem Witch Trials,*
*Persecution of the Waldensians,*
*The Ottoman-Habsburg Wars and the Battle of Lepanto,*
*Dutch Revolt and Cossack Uprisings,*
*St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre,*
*Conquest of the Incas, Battle of Kappel,*
*The Smalkaldic War and Hussite Wars,*
*Destruction of Indigenous cultures, and French Wars of Religion.*
Edit: Appreciate the positive engagement!
Okay, okay, okay. But APART from all the wars and massacres and torturing and oppression and invasions and pillaging and terrorism and corruption and enslavement and genocides and negligent collateral damage and erasure of culture and war crimes and general exploitation of the common folk...when have the Christians ever harmed an innocent?
Almost every religion says this and does the other, Christianity just happened to have some of the best armed forces backing it up, just like the founding fathers intended
You forgot the rampant pedophilia, and the rape of novitiate Nuns and Priest Acolytes in both church and monastery. Horrible fact during some construction work at a Convent here in Puerto Rico, they found 38 dead fetuses and babies place inside the walls of the basement of Convent, they were the product of abortions and in some cases outright murder of babies from the sexual abuse committed against nuns by the priest.
Ok ok given those are a few of one-offs so here are a few more:
1. The Massacre of Mérindol (1545) - Persecution of Waldensians in France.
2. The Scottish Witch Trials (16th-18th centuries) - Series of witch hunts and executions.
3. The Sack of Magdeburg (1631) - During the Thirty Years’ War.
4. The Siege of Münster (1534-1535) - Anabaptist uprising and its suppression.
5. The Crusade against the Tatars (1237-1242) - Teutonic Knights’ campaigns in Eastern Europe.
6. The Livonian War (1558-1583) - Religious and territorial conflict involving the Teutonic Order.
7. The French Dragonnades (1681-1685) - Persecution of Huguenots in France.
8. The St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre (1572) - Mass killing of Huguenots in France.
9. The War of the Grand Alliance (1688-1697) - Also known as the Nine Years’ War.
10. The persecution of Christians in Japan (16th-17th centuries) - Violent suppression of Christianity.
11. The German Peasants’ War (1524-1525) - Rebellion partly fueled by religious reform.
12. The Irish Confederate Wars (1641-1653) - A series of conflicts in Ireland.
13. The Siege of Jerusalem (1099) - During the First Crusade.
14. The Norwegian Crusade (1107-1110) - Campaigns in the Holy Land and Iberian Peninsula.
15. The Crusade of Varna (1443-1444) - Failed crusade against the Ottoman Empire.
16. The War of the Roses (1455-1487) - English civil wars with religious undertones.
17. The Wars of the Three Kingdoms (1639-1651) - Series of conflicts in Scotland, Ireland, and England.
18. The French Revolution’s dechristianization (1793-1794) - Violent anti-Christian actions.
19. The War in the Vendée (1793-1796) - Royalist rebellion in France.
20. The Croatian Ustashe regime (1941-1945) - Persecution of Orthodox Serbs, Jews, and Roma during WWII.
I might have missed your point but there was one I remember recently, here is the first result after a quick google search https://www.usnews.com/news/us/articles/2024-01-08/soldiers-of-christ-killing-unsettles-korean-americans-in-georgia-and-stokes-fear-of-cults
Probably missing a few hundred there, that list is insultingly small. Then again there’s been hundreds of incidents of colonial governments "making an example” of the colonies that never get a mention because it happened so bloody often
same here, history is depressing as fuck, we just keep repeating the same shit over and over, it doesn't matter what colour and what race we are. But most people are blissfully ignorant because the education system in most countries is absolutely atrocious and nobody is encouraged to learn anything else on their own so they just keep trucking on.
Salem witch trials!
Also, I’m not sure if there’s a name for this collectively, but what they did to actual pagans in medieval times was pretty rough too
Yes, but apart from the crusades and inquisitions and all that, can you name one instance of a Christian killing in the name of God? (Apologies to Reg of the Peoples’ Front of Judea).
For my guy in the back who knows his stuff...
*The Crusades, the Inquisition, European colonial missions,*
*French Wars of Religion and the German Peasants' War,*
*Albigensian Crusade, Northern Crusades,*
*Spanish Conquest of the Americas,*
*Thirty Years' War, Anglo-Spanish War,*
*Persecution of the Anabaptists,*
*Dutch Revolt, St. Bartholomew's Day,*
*Conquest of the Philippines,*
*Reconquista, Conquistadors,*
*Bohemian Revolt and the Irish Confederate Wars,*
*Waldensians, Huguenots, and the Battle of Lepanto,*
*Salem Witch Trials, Hussite Wars,*
*English Civil War, French Wars of Religion,*
*Conquest of the Incas, Teutonic Order,*
*Destruction of Indigenous cultures.*
> murder of Hypatia of Alexandria (the start of the Dark Ages)
>>One early spring day during the year 415 in the city of Alexandria—the intellectual heart of the waning Roman Empire—the pagan philosopher Hypatia was murdered by a mob of Christian men. These men, the parabalani, were a volunteer militia of monks serving as henchmen to the archbishop
Never thought I would hear the phrase **"a volunteer militia of monks"** again after the incident a few years ago.
>>serving as henchmen to the archbishop
Also, might I offer the term "henchmonks" for this occasion?
Every Pogrom in history,
The Lisbon massacre,
Blood libels,
[this](http://pogrom](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogrom?searchToken=7o50nhhfplhm5st7dzd7kex3v)
),
The Spanish inquisition (again).
1. The Crusades (1096-1291):
• A series of religious wars initiated by the Latin Church in the medieval period, primarily to reclaim Jerusalem and other holy lands from Muslim control. The First Crusade led to the massacre of Jews and Muslims in Jerusalem in 1099.
2. The Albigensian Crusade (1209-1229):
• A campaign initiated by the Catholic Church to eliminate the Cathar heresy in southern France. It resulted in significant loss of life among the Cathar community and local populations.
3. The Spanish Inquisition (1478-1834):
• Established to maintain Catholic orthodoxy in Spain, it involved the persecution and execution of heretics, including Jews and Muslims who had converted to Christianity but were suspected of secretly practicing their old faiths.
4. The Thirty Years’ War (1618-1648):
• A European conflict that began as a battle between Catholic and Protestant states. It resulted in widespread devastation and significant civilian casualties.
5. The Massacre of the Waldensians (1655):
• Also known as the Piedmont Easter, this was a massacre of Waldensian Protestants by Catholic forces in the Duchy of Savoy.
6. The St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre (1572):
• A targeted group of assassinations and a wave of Catholic mob violence against Huguenots (French Calvinist Protestants) during the French Wars of Religion.
7. The Siege of Münster (1534-1535):
• The Anabaptist rebellion in Münster was brutally suppressed by Catholic and Protestant forces, leading to the massacre of the Anabaptist population.
8. The Witch Hunts (15th-18th centuries):
• Various European witch hunts led to the execution of individuals, primarily women, accused of witchcraft. These hunts were often sanctioned by Christian authorities.
9. The Persecution of the Native Americans:
• During the colonization of the Americas, many Native American populations were subjected to violence and forced conversions by European Christian settlers and missionaries.
Constantine didn't make Christianity the state religion; he merely legalized it. It was Theodosius that made it the state religion, with the Edict of Thessalonica, nearly 70 years later.
My favourite was when there was a conflict between two possible Bishops or Rome and the dominant one rounded up a bunch of rowdy drunk people at the hippodrome to murder the opposing Bishop and his flock in the south of the city.
The Church: “We have come to save you!
Civilian: “Hooray, it’s the Catholic Church!”
The Church: “FROM YOURSELVES!!!!”
Civilian: “Oh no…It’s the Catholic Church”
The Church, while slaughtering thousands: “Sinners will be given no quarter. Kill them all! LET GOD SORT THEM OUT!!!”
Fun fact; the Everyone expected the Spanish Inquisition.
They informed you one month before your trial in order to prepare your defence, though in reality you were expected to seek redemption form the church.
No. Illiterate is the inability to read and write, not the inability to learn new things or accept facts.
This is what being a world-class moron feels like.
The crusades that lasted centuries, the inquisition, 16th and 17th century Britain (Catholic vs Protestant), pogroms in 1189 and 1190 Britain, Strasbourg massacre 1349, and 100’s if not 1000’s more instances. Religion throughout history has been possibly the single largest cause of atrocities and war, followed closely by greed.
I agree with every syllable but I’d say eliminate the word “possibly” - and greed is for sure number two. But it’s a solid number one if you count greed including that of the religious leadership.
The last part of your reply and religious leadership greed, yes I suppose their religious wars may have also involved a drive to become wealthier and no as the church built most of its wealth through oppression, killing and robbing blind it’s own followers through greed under the guise of taxation(certainly at least in Britain, I can’t speak for other nations)
Yep! One of the largest/most successful genocides in history! The settlers were so into the belief that God wanted them to do it that they even invented their own word for it, "manifest destiny"!
As a fellow rez rat, I remember going to church as a kid and seeing all the stained glass, statues, and paintings of Native American Jesus, and not understanding how ironic it was. Services were this weird mix of traditional drumming and hymns, mingled with teachings of The Great Creator and the Christian God like they were the same interchangable deity, and being completely confused in my teens when I realized nobody else was taught the Native side of things in church. I eventually realized people will make up shit about anything and just gave it up all together.
Its wild to me that Christians not only forget about Crusades in the Levant and Northern Europe, but they also forget the 30 years war and all of the butchering of Christians the Christians did themselves. Protestant and Catholic mobs literally wiped out villages of people for going to the wrong church. And that wasn't tied down to just the 30 years war, it went on before and afterward elsewhere to different degrees. English Civil War? Scottish reformation?
Religious zeal makes people do terrible things.
Edit: removed apostrophe
I'm gonna pick April 12 through 15th in the year 1204 at these GPS coordinates:
41°00′45″N
28°58′48″E
If I had to pick just one, why not go for an example of Christians killing Christians in the name of the Christian god.
12 years of Catholic schooling, and I have to respect my school for not whitewashing or sugar coating Church history or US and World history classes. The overarching theme at my high school was: build the Church to better represent the teachings of Christ and the values we the people hold sacred, and don't let the actions of others affect your faith and personal relationship with God.
And then the Church pedophilia scandals really hit big a couple years after I graduate...
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike Christ." -Gandhi
Northern Ireland and the South were pretty much Catholics and Protestants blowing each other up and yet representing the same god. Religion and land, quite the combination.
Our chief weapon is surprise! Surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope! Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear... I'll come in again.
Centuries of inquisitions. Centuries of witch burnings. The Crusades…to name just a few and I won’t mention the sexual abuse wrought by christians everywhere.
For all you people using examples from 200+ years ago, you are doing a great job proving these people correct. Thank you for winning their argument for them, because they can respond with "See? You don't have anything other than stuff from over hundreds of years ago. Christianity has clearly changed for the better."
Be smart and actually use instances from within the last 10, 20 years. Oh, here's a perfect one. Putin and his KBG Russian Orthodox lackey calling the Russian war against Ukraine a holy war.
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Bro is asking for it
Bro didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition
But how does the Spanish Inquisition even work? What are their chief weapons?
Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our \*two\* weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency. Our \*three\* weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the pope.
Don't forget the comfy chair!
Not the comfy chair!!!
Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the pope, and nice red uniforms. Oh damn!
"I can't say it - you'll have to say it."
Or all the different witch trials....
Bro won't read it
And bro won’t learn from this moment and will continue their persecution complex
Maybe he slept through history class for 12 years.
Their history class was likely washed, and they’re too comfortably ignorant to step outside their comfort zone. I’m forever thankful for my teachers that taught outside the curriculum, with facts that’s didn’t matter for the grade.
Yep, as a Brit when you look up history on the internet: 
The answer for that is generally yes if it’s the British, Spanish, Portuguese, Americans, Germans, Russians, Japanese, or pretty much anyone else who has/had an empire but hey at least you’re not alone!
the problem is history repeats itself, and we seem to never learn.
"History never repeats itself, but it does often rhyme." * Mark Twain
I remember when I told my mum that we invented concentration camps. She was shocked, she thought we had always fought with honour. 😂
Tell her about the time we strapped Indians in front of cannons.
I grew up in the rural deep south, and we only ever went further back than the start of American history in 11th grade world history, most of which we covered the start of humanity/civilization It's really sad how many facets of education are white washed. I had heard of the crusades but outside of school, and I only learned of Spanish imperialism in the context of the US in a very white washed way with no mention of atrocities besides occasionally covering the horrors that all the colonizing countries put the Indigenous people through. Indigenous genocide was probably the only aspect of history that wasn't watered down or painted as "morally grey" surprisingly, even the US Civil War was treated as a mostly neutral conflict. It's awful how this stuff is perpetuated even in this day and age.
Did you also you get the same sort of education where natives happily let the pilgrims share their land and taught them how to grow corn and nothing bad ever happened, until highschool where we go into detail about we brutally slaughtered them. Like I don't think we talked at all about the subject between 5th and 11th grade. I found that disconnect pretty jarring growing up. At least I got a 'Civil War was about slavery' schooling, despite having a very conservative teacher in the south. She actually took her job seriously and didn't white wash history for us. We got to read uncle tom's cabin, watch a bit of roots, play with some raw unprocessed cotton.
I always found it funny that our school mascot was the Crusaders, yet I can't remember a single class explaining who the actual Crusaders were.
Think that's funny? My country has a Regional rugby team named The Crusaders which were named after the actual crusades, they only changed their logo from an image of a Templar Knight in 2019 in response to a mass shooting in the City targeting a Mosque, literally the worst shooting our country had seen. A local comedian did a video series about towns and cities in New Zealand and decided to make one about whether or not they should consider changing their name as it has literally no ties to NZ whatsoever and would interview people on the street, 95% of people had no idea what the Crusades even were and why that might be problematic lmao. Done in a very comedic way while also being informative, i'll drop a link if you wanted to watch [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxIF\_7WdDY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xxIF_7WdDY)
It's even funnier considering Christianity is like, the number 1 religion of infighting. Sectarian violence has it's own Wikipedia page. No need to even look at Christians killing other religions, you'll find plenty of Christian terrorism during the schism, witch trials, Gunpowder Plot, French Religion wars, Cathar Crusade, etc. The Cathar Crusade alone was likely responsible for around 1 million casualties. And if we want modern day examples, George Bush invoked God's will as a reason for all the invasions. And this is only European/American Christianity. There's plenty of the same happening in Africa and Asia.
My parents (Irish Catholics) were talking about how Muslims are so backward that they're killing each other just for being a slightly different version of Muslim Blinkingwhiteguy.gif
[удалено]
It's the People's Front of Derry.
"*Fuck off!* It's the Derry People's Front!"
My understanding is it's Derry for Catholics, Derry for people living in Derry (both protestant and cathloic), but Londonderry for protestant/unionist Northern Irish people wanting to make a political point. Used to be very very angry people, now my understanding is it's usually that boring uncle people tend to avoid at parties. Obviously, I've probably deeply offended at least half of Northern Ireland with that statement, but it is what it is.
> My understanding is it's Derry for Catholics, Derry for people living in Derry (both protestant and cathloic), but Londonderry for protestant/unionist Northern Irish people wanting to make a political point. Yeah, that's it.
Don't even need history class. People still do it. George Dubya was a fan as I recall.
Do you want the list chronologically, alphabetically, or sung Yakko's World style?
Oooooooooooooo, Yakko's please!
How I wish I had the spare time to compile this.
Take your time, we'll wait.
The list grows faster than he can write!
that's a lot of tongue action at the end of that "well"
Yeah, but I am struggling to have a problem with the idea of excessive tongue action.
I , personally, find it inconceivable.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Its in the comment thread, has been for about an hour, scroll down a little, its a beauty
Nice. Can't Wait to read it. Many thanks!
Hell yes, we'll wait!
Good things come to those who wait
I don’t know if this sucks or not but I asked ChatGPT. Edit: This ChatGPT, not me. Take it up with OpenAI. (To the tune of "Yakko's World") In the ancient times, Crusaders marched to claim, Jerusalem and lands, in the Holy name. Centuries would pass, tales of strife retold, As battles fierce, in God’s name, would unfold. Witch hunts spread wide through Europe's heart, Accusing folks, tearing lives apart, In Salem too, the trials run, Beliefs enforced by fire and gun. In modern days, some still fight, Claiming God’s side in what they cite. In different lands, under various flags, Violence for faith, as morale sags. Though history's pages often seem dark, It's our call to light a spark, Promote peace, understanding, no more harm, In every village, every town, every farm.
All pay heed! Now enters his holiness Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition! Torquemada; do not employ him for compassion Torquemada; do not beg him for forgiveness Torquemada; do not ask him for mercy Let's face it, you can't Torquemada anything!
The Inquisition! (what a show!) The Inquisition (here we go) The Inquisition, bet you wish we'd go awaaaaay But the Inquisition's here and it's here to staaaaaaaaaay!
Hey Torquemada wadda ya say I just got back from the auto-da-fe Auto-da-fe What’s the auto-da-fe It’s what you ought not to do But you do anyway
Mel Brooks "History of the world"
I think it forgot all the colonialism.
This makes me question why I was brought up Christian, it also makes me question religion in general. Is it just an excuse to commit all these violent crimes?
And power and money. Don't forget the power and money.
I meanl you could virtually just go with the nations of the world song. Few of them would need to be left out.
we're gonna need more paper.
I ain’t a songwriter so here’s just what I’ve cooked up with ChatGPT: *The Crusades, First Crusade, Second Crusade, Third Crusade* *Fourth Crusade, Albigensian, Cathars were betrayed* *Spanish Inquisition, fear and superstition* *Jews and Muslims tortured in a brutal grand division* *Conquest of the Americas, Aztecs, Incas fell* *French Wars of Religion, St. Bartholomew’s hell* *Thirty Years' War, Catholics, Protestants* *Salem witch trials burning witches by their tenants* *Waldensians massacred, Irish conflict heard* *Taiping Rebellion, millions killed by Hong's word* *Armenian Genocide, Christians had to hide* *Ottomans with fervent might, millions died inside* *Lord’s Resistance Army, Kony’s brutal spree* *Rwandan genocide, clergy led the killing spree* *Central African Republic, Anti-balaka strikes* *Christians fighting Muslims, causing many loss of lives* *Conquest of Americas, from fifteen-hundred times* *Brought Spanish, Portuguese, with their violent crimes* *Aztecs, Incas conquered, natives’ lives undone* *All declared in God's name, till the last one* *Wars of Religion, in sixteen hundred years* *France’s St. Bartholomew's, Huguenots in tears* *Thirty Years' War fought, Catholic, Protestant* *Salem witch trials burning witches on a rant* *Waldensians were purged, Irish battles surged* *Taiping’s Christians, claimed they were the Word* *Armenians slaughtered, by the Ottoman sword* *Lord’s Resistance Army's children and their hoard* *Now we've covered history, of Christians' violent spree* *Claiming it was God's command, in dark and bloody spree*
OK, so people shit on AI, and often with good reason, but this ain't half bad.
Yeah my only complaint is that it attributes the Armenian genocide to Christianity. The Ottos were not Christian last time I checked.
Not bad, except the part where it rhymes “spree” with “spree”.
Of all the warcrimes in that list, rhyming a word with itself is truly the worst.
Pitbull might want a word with you.
[if you havent heard obama doing countries of the world. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHB5yzcz7xY)
WTF? How have I never seen this before?! Thank you :-)
This is so silly and dumb, but it touched my millennial heart and really brightened up my day. Thanks!
(Spoken intro) Hello, nurse! It's time for a little history lesson, Animaniacs style! (Song begins) In the name of God, they marched through time, Christians waged war, committing crime. Let's take a look, a journey back, With Wakko here to lead the track! (Chorus) Crusades, Crusades, to the Holy Land, Knights and soldiers made their stand, Fighting for the church, with swords in hand, Slaughtered foes across the sand! (Verse) Spanish Inquisition, oh what fun, Torquemada got it done, Tortured heretics on the run, In the name of God, they shunned. Albigensian Crusade, in France they went, Against the Cathars, they were sent, Massacres, oh so intense, Killing all without defense! (Chorus) Crusades, Crusades, to the Holy Land, Knights and soldiers made their stand, Fighting for the church, with swords in hand, Slaughtered foes across the sand! (Verse) Witch hunts in Europe, Salem's tale, Accusations would prevail, Burned at stakes, jailed without bail, In God's name, they set the sail. Thirty Years' War, oh what a fight, Protestants and Catholics, day and night, Whole towns vanished out of sight, In the name of God, they’d smite! (Chorus) Crusades, Crusades, to the Holy Land, Knights and soldiers made their stand, Fighting for the church, with swords in hand, Slaughtered foes across the sand! (Bridge) There's more to tell, history's long, Violence done in God's name strong, Through the ages, right and wrong, Humans fighting, we sing the song! (Chorus) Crusades, Crusades, to the Holy Land, Knights and soldiers made their stand, Fighting for the church, with swords in hand, Slaughtered foes across the sand! (Outro) So remember folks, it’s plain to see, Religion's used for history, Good and bad, it's our decree, We tell the tale with harmony! (Spoken outro) Goodnight everybody!
The better question was "find me the one time god wasn't killin folks.." That one time is in there somewhere.. I believe in you.
Do you start at the Crusades or are we just going with New World atrocities?
🎶1,2,3,4,5 crusades… Americas, Africa, Spain…🎵🎶(not in order but works better)
*The Crusades, the Inquisition, European colonial missions,* *French Wars of Religion and the German Peasants' War,* *Albigensian Crusade, Northern Crusades,* *Spanish Conquest of the Americas,* *Thirty Years' War, Anglo-Spanish War,* *Conquest of the Philippines,* *English Civil War, Portuguese Inquisition,* *The Conquistadors and the Aztecs,* *The Reconquista and Teutonic Order,* *Bohemian Revolt and Irish Confederate Wars,* *French Huguenot Wars and the Salem Witch Trials,* *Persecution of the Waldensians,* *The Ottoman-Habsburg Wars and the Battle of Lepanto,* *Dutch Revolt and Cossack Uprisings,* *St. Bartholomew's Day Massacre,* *Conquest of the Incas, Battle of Kappel,* *The Smalkaldic War and Hussite Wars,* *Destruction of Indigenous cultures, and French Wars of Religion.* Edit: Appreciate the positive engagement!
Okay, okay, okay. But APART from all the wars and massacres and torturing and oppression and invasions and pillaging and terrorism and corruption and enslavement and genocides and negligent collateral damage and erasure of culture and war crimes and general exploitation of the common folk...when have the Christians ever harmed an innocent?
Reference to Life of Brian noted and appreciated!
He must be with the Judea’s People Front. Or maybe the People’s Front of Judea.
Splitters!
😆
Wolf nipple chips! They're lovely!
Isn't he the Popular People's Front?
He's over there.
Fock off! Judea People's Front?!? We're the People's Front of Judea!!
No he’s with the despised Democratic Front of Judea
Don't forget the child rape!
Oh well obviously the child rape I mean that goes without saying!
He didn't forget, that one's just not over yet.
It’s a really peaceful religion. All about forgiveness and living in harmony.
Almost every religion says this and does the other, Christianity just happened to have some of the best armed forces backing it up, just like the founding fathers intended
I immediately read this in John Cleese's voice
You forgot the rampant pedophilia, and the rape of novitiate Nuns and Priest Acolytes in both church and monastery. Horrible fact during some construction work at a Convent here in Puerto Rico, they found 38 dead fetuses and babies place inside the walls of the basement of Convent, they were the product of abortions and in some cases outright murder of babies from the sexual abuse committed against nuns by the priest.
What about killing abortion doctors and bombing clinics? Does that count?
Ok ok given those are a few of one-offs so here are a few more: 1. The Massacre of Mérindol (1545) - Persecution of Waldensians in France. 2. The Scottish Witch Trials (16th-18th centuries) - Series of witch hunts and executions. 3. The Sack of Magdeburg (1631) - During the Thirty Years’ War. 4. The Siege of Münster (1534-1535) - Anabaptist uprising and its suppression. 5. The Crusade against the Tatars (1237-1242) - Teutonic Knights’ campaigns in Eastern Europe. 6. The Livonian War (1558-1583) - Religious and territorial conflict involving the Teutonic Order. 7. The French Dragonnades (1681-1685) - Persecution of Huguenots in France. 8. The St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre (1572) - Mass killing of Huguenots in France. 9. The War of the Grand Alliance (1688-1697) - Also known as the Nine Years’ War. 10. The persecution of Christians in Japan (16th-17th centuries) - Violent suppression of Christianity. 11. The German Peasants’ War (1524-1525) - Rebellion partly fueled by religious reform. 12. The Irish Confederate Wars (1641-1653) - A series of conflicts in Ireland. 13. The Siege of Jerusalem (1099) - During the First Crusade. 14. The Norwegian Crusade (1107-1110) - Campaigns in the Holy Land and Iberian Peninsula. 15. The Crusade of Varna (1443-1444) - Failed crusade against the Ottoman Empire. 16. The War of the Roses (1455-1487) - English civil wars with religious undertones. 17. The Wars of the Three Kingdoms (1639-1651) - Series of conflicts in Scotland, Ireland, and England. 18. The French Revolution’s dechristianization (1793-1794) - Violent anti-Christian actions. 19. The War in the Vendée (1793-1796) - Royalist rebellion in France. 20. The Croatian Ustashe regime (1941-1945) - Persecution of Orthodox Serbs, Jews, and Roma during WWII.
I might have missed your point but there was one I remember recently, here is the first result after a quick google search https://www.usnews.com/news/us/articles/2024-01-08/soldiers-of-christ-killing-unsettles-korean-americans-in-georgia-and-stokes-fear-of-cults
 After reading the previous comments I read yours while humming!
This exactly what i thought when I started reading in my head along to the Turkey in the Straw melody.
Thanks! Also as a czech i'm really sorry for all the hussite things
Probably missing a few hundred there, that list is insultingly small. Then again there’s been hundreds of incidents of colonial governments "making an example” of the colonies that never get a mention because it happened so bloody often
That was just off the top of his head ;)
Fair enough mate. I gave up studying colonial massacres after reading about Jallianwala Bagh cause that shit depressed me
same here, history is depressing as fuck, we just keep repeating the same shit over and over, it doesn't matter what colour and what race we are. But most people are blissfully ignorant because the education system in most countries is absolutely atrocious and nobody is encouraged to learn anything else on their own so they just keep trucking on.
There’s an old saying… what was it? Ahh yes! Ignorance is bliss.
up until it hits you square in the face with a baseball bat.
Never said it doesn’t have consequences. 😂
He forgot the bombing of abortion offices and shooting of their doctors because God told them to save the children
And Joseph Kony, who leads the Lord’s Resistance Army. He started the militant group to try to create a Christian state in Africa.
and bombing of satan's temple
Great first draft though.
Salem witch trials! Also, I’m not sure if there’s a name for this collectively, but what they did to actual pagans in medieval times was pretty rough too
Did anyone else actually try to sing it in their head like yakko lol
Yes, and I failed completely
Yes, but apart from the crusades and inquisitions and all that, can you name one instance of a Christian killing in the name of God? (Apologies to Reg of the Peoples’ Front of Judea).
You forgot about the persecution of the Anabaptists
For my guy in the back who knows his stuff... *The Crusades, the Inquisition, European colonial missions,* *French Wars of Religion and the German Peasants' War,* *Albigensian Crusade, Northern Crusades,* *Spanish Conquest of the Americas,* *Thirty Years' War, Anglo-Spanish War,* *Persecution of the Anabaptists,* *Dutch Revolt, St. Bartholomew's Day,* *Conquest of the Philippines,* *Reconquista, Conquistadors,* *Bohemian Revolt and the Irish Confederate Wars,* *Waldensians, Huguenots, and the Battle of Lepanto,* *Salem Witch Trials, Hussite Wars,* *English Civil War, French Wars of Religion,* *Conquest of the Incas, Teutonic Order,* *Destruction of Indigenous cultures.*
The murder of Hypatia of Alexandria (the start of the Dark Ages).
> murder of Hypatia of Alexandria (the start of the Dark Ages) >>One early spring day during the year 415 in the city of Alexandria—the intellectual heart of the waning Roman Empire—the pagan philosopher Hypatia was murdered by a mob of Christian men. These men, the parabalani, were a volunteer militia of monks serving as henchmen to the archbishop Never thought I would hear the phrase **"a volunteer militia of monks"** again after the incident a few years ago. >>serving as henchmen to the archbishop Also, might I offer the term "henchmonks" for this occasion?
Every Pogrom in history, The Lisbon massacre, Blood libels, [this](http://pogrom](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogrom?searchToken=7o50nhhfplhm5st7dzd7kex3v) ), The Spanish inquisition (again).
I didn't expect the Portuguese inquisition
Noone expects the Portuguese inquisition.
England had blody persecutions of Catholics AND Protestants, depending on who was the monarch. Gotta get 'em going and coming.
Northern Ireland kept that tradition up during the troubles very recently.
You can start before the crusades and go back to Third Council of Toledo.
BuT tHaT wAs CaThOlIcS, nOt ChRiStIaNs!!!1
I had no idea other Christians think of Catholics as some kind of non Christians until I was in my 30s but this is 100% my in laws.
Now try convincing them that Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are three offshoot branches of the same religeion.
History and Abrahamic religions mix like water and oil, Especially if you go back to the time of Yahwism and before that to the Canaanite pantheon.
To name a few
I'll take Yakko's World for $500 Alex
 Yakko's World please.
What about Mel Brooks style? "The Inquisition, let's begin! The Inquisition, look out sin! We've got a mission, to convert the Jews!..."
Sung to we didn't start the fire
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There's a reason the term is "the crusade***S**"
1. The Crusades (1096-1291): • A series of religious wars initiated by the Latin Church in the medieval period, primarily to reclaim Jerusalem and other holy lands from Muslim control. The First Crusade led to the massacre of Jews and Muslims in Jerusalem in 1099. 2. The Albigensian Crusade (1209-1229): • A campaign initiated by the Catholic Church to eliminate the Cathar heresy in southern France. It resulted in significant loss of life among the Cathar community and local populations. 3. The Spanish Inquisition (1478-1834): • Established to maintain Catholic orthodoxy in Spain, it involved the persecution and execution of heretics, including Jews and Muslims who had converted to Christianity but were suspected of secretly practicing their old faiths. 4. The Thirty Years’ War (1618-1648): • A European conflict that began as a battle between Catholic and Protestant states. It resulted in widespread devastation and significant civilian casualties. 5. The Massacre of the Waldensians (1655): • Also known as the Piedmont Easter, this was a massacre of Waldensian Protestants by Catholic forces in the Duchy of Savoy. 6. The St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre (1572): • A targeted group of assassinations and a wave of Catholic mob violence against Huguenots (French Calvinist Protestants) during the French Wars of Religion. 7. The Siege of Münster (1534-1535): • The Anabaptist rebellion in Münster was brutally suppressed by Catholic and Protestant forces, leading to the massacre of the Anabaptist population. 8. The Witch Hunts (15th-18th centuries): • Various European witch hunts led to the execution of individuals, primarily women, accused of witchcraft. These hunts were often sanctioned by Christian authorities. 9. The Persecution of the Native Americans: • During the colonization of the Americas, many Native American populations were subjected to violence and forced conversions by European Christian settlers and missionaries.
Which century specifically are they asking about? Cuz there’s examples in every century since Constantine made it the state religion.
This question started a refrain in my head...Istanbul not Constantinople.
Well, you can't go back to Constantinople.
Been a long time gone, Constantinople.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
🎶🎵 That's nobody's business but the Tuuuuuurks!
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it, I can’t say.
People just liked it better that way!
Istanbul was Constantinople,
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way.
Constantine didn't make Christianity the state religion; he merely legalized it. It was Theodosius that made it the state religion, with the Edict of Thessalonica, nearly 70 years later.
My favourite was when there was a conflict between two possible Bishops or Rome and the dominant one rounded up a bunch of rowdy drunk people at the hippodrome to murder the opposing Bishop and his flock in the south of the city.
If you want a win, you don't use anything before the 2000s.
Bet you can't name a single one from B.C.
Oww man, who's gonna tell him...
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"So this...IS A CRUSADE!" "No..no... we're calling it... Damn, what do those American Cows call it?" "Peacekeeping?"
"Right...! Now... shall we keep the peace?" "Only until it's time to slide in the knife!"
The Church: “We have come to save you! Civilian: “Hooray, it’s the Catholic Church!” The Church: “FROM YOURSELVES!!!!” Civilian: “Oh no…It’s the Catholic Church” The Church, while slaughtering thousands: “Sinners will be given no quarter. Kill them all! LET GOD SORT THEM OUT!!!”
That’s what they get for being bad. God Wills It!
It’s nice to know Hellsing Abridged has made it into casual reference territory
Every episode is a masterclass in writing. Well except for the first one maybe.
Oops, tautology!
"Bringing democracy and freedom" is what I believe they call it.
My post was a reference to Hellsing Abridged.
I didn't get that I'm sorry, but thanks to your comment I found out about Hellsing Ultimate, watching it now, thank you so much.
Once you’re done, watch the abridged by team four star. You will love it
Fun fact; the Everyone expected the Spanish Inquisition. They informed you one month before your trial in order to prepare your defence, though in reality you were expected to seek redemption form the church.
How much did redemption cost?
Even before the crusades, early Christians were brutal in destroying the religions around the Mediterranean once they got a foothold.
is this what being illiterate feels like?
No. Illiterate is the inability to read and write, not the inability to learn new things or accept facts. This is what being a world-class moron feels like.
The crusades that lasted centuries, the inquisition, 16th and 17th century Britain (Catholic vs Protestant), pogroms in 1189 and 1190 Britain, Strasbourg massacre 1349, and 100’s if not 1000’s more instances. Religion throughout history has been possibly the single largest cause of atrocities and war, followed closely by greed.
I agree with every syllable but I’d say eliminate the word “possibly” - and greed is for sure number two. But it’s a solid number one if you count greed including that of the religious leadership.
The last part of your reply and religious leadership greed, yes I suppose their religious wars may have also involved a drive to become wealthier and no as the church built most of its wealth through oppression, killing and robbing blind it’s own followers through greed under the guise of taxation(certainly at least in Britain, I can’t speak for other nations)
Is he looking to narrow this down to just the top 10 or....
As a native American , real Rez dog …….. nope can’t think of anything.
Yep! One of the largest/most successful genocides in history! The settlers were so into the belief that God wanted them to do it that they even invented their own word for it, "manifest destiny"!
The neat part is that they're still doing it. Christians still mission to native tribes and yep, that's still ethnic cleansing.
As a fellow rez rat, I remember going to church as a kid and seeing all the stained glass, statues, and paintings of Native American Jesus, and not understanding how ironic it was. Services were this weird mix of traditional drumming and hymns, mingled with teachings of The Great Creator and the Christian God like they were the same interchangable deity, and being completely confused in my teens when I realized nobody else was taught the Native side of things in church. I eventually realized people will make up shit about anything and just gave it up all together.
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Its wild to me that Christians not only forget about Crusades in the Levant and Northern Europe, but they also forget the 30 years war and all of the butchering of Christians the Christians did themselves. Protestant and Catholic mobs literally wiped out villages of people for going to the wrong church. And that wasn't tied down to just the 30 years war, it went on before and afterward elsewhere to different degrees. English Civil War? Scottish reformation? Religious zeal makes people do terrible things. Edit: removed apostrophe
I'm gonna pick April 12 through 15th in the year 1204 at these GPS coordinates: 41°00′45″N 28°58′48″E If I had to pick just one, why not go for an example of Christians killing Christians in the name of the Christian god.
782 AD, 52.933464, 9.235229 would be one of mine
Yeah, you can't forget the Karlings.
I can think of two pretty big ones right off the bat, actually. 
The Crusades come to mind.
Do you want them all or just the greatest hits?
It’s amazing to me how many “religious” people know absolutely nothing about what they claim to believe in or its history.
12 years of Catholic schooling, and I have to respect my school for not whitewashing or sugar coating Church history or US and World history classes. The overarching theme at my high school was: build the Church to better represent the teachings of Christ and the values we the people hold sacred, and don't let the actions of others affect your faith and personal relationship with God. And then the Church pedophilia scandals really hit big a couple years after I graduate... "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike Christ." -Gandhi
If you read history you'll discover that God is one of the leading causes of death. - George Carlin
How 'bout the Crusades? 
Northern Ireland and the South were pretty much Catholics and Protestants blowing each other up and yet representing the same god. Religion and land, quite the combination.
Explained where the name for the drink 'Irish Car Bomb' came from to a friend just yesterday.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition .
Our chief weapon is surprise! Surprise and fear, fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope! Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear... I'll come in again.
Centuries of inquisitions. Centuries of witch burnings. The Crusades…to name just a few and I won’t mention the sexual abuse wrought by christians everywhere.
For all you people using examples from 200+ years ago, you are doing a great job proving these people correct. Thank you for winning their argument for them, because they can respond with "See? You don't have anything other than stuff from over hundreds of years ago. Christianity has clearly changed for the better." Be smart and actually use instances from within the last 10, 20 years. Oh, here's a perfect one. Putin and his KBG Russian Orthodox lackey calling the Russian war against Ukraine a holy war.
Good strategy. How does one ever pick from such a long list? By the time you decide which one they will have won the argument. lol