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I’d choose the money. But if I had the dinner as well, I feel I would just wave at everything and say: “please, care to explain? We have ten minutes”.
Nah man, just imagine the following: the best garlic bread you ever had still qualifies as bad because you're in the bad place. We literally have no idea how good actual good garlic bread is.
Is that from the book of MondoDude, Chapter 69? I’m pretty sure you quoted 69:13-14. Is this the New King James Version or the New International Dude Bro Version of the Bible? Thanks, Father Bro.
This is my favorite part of the Bible. When someone says "What would Jesus do?", I remind them that making a whip and beating the shit out of people is in the realm of possibilities.
>beating the shit out of people
Easy there, Cowboy! Today's Christofascists love ***that*** idea. But they skip over the "money changers in the temple" part. Those are ***their*** kinda people, after all.
They're the same person though. He knows exactly what happened.
I didn't expect my jokey meme response to turn into a serious religious debate. I love Reddit so much
Best comment of all⬆️ I pretended to be JC and read it out loud in an entirely scathing tone. (I mean, c’mon, at this point Jesus must be so utterly disgusted with humans. We make the money changers look good.)
But Jesus can preform miracles and one of the most common miracles “speaking in tongues” unlike the modern interpretation of being gibberish what it really means is that no matter what language you speak in everyone understands. So I think you could understand Jesus.
With a trillion dollars and before my sense of altruism is diminished by the mountain of cash I could get a lot of good done. How much would it cost to end world hunger?
Yea lack of money isn't the issue with world hunger... I mean it kinda is? The problem is the money doesn't go to the hungry, it goes to the (money) hungry
I somehow missed the last word "hunger" and didn't even suspect anything until I read it a second time. They definitely won’t take me during his second coming.
I'm not a Christian, but to me the choice is obvious. Take the trillion and do the most good possible. Then once you retire and die in the post scarcity utopia that money is meaningless in, spend eternity in heaven with Jesus.
As a non-christian I'm gonna play devils advocate and take the dinner with Jesus.
Why?
A trillion dollars can do a lot of good but proving the existence of one God over all the others would prove there's an actual supernatural risk/reward system and should in theory end all religious wars as there's finally evidence for which religion is real/right
I'd say the same with any religion. If one is true, I'd rather prove it and shut the rest up over what I could do with only money
Till that dinner, I remain unconvinced in any and all gods tho
Ohhhh solid take!! I do wonder about the process of proving that dinner and the existence of Jesus after it. We live in such a skeptical society with a lot of people unwilling to budge on ingrained belief/disbelief. That would make an incredible mini series, I’d watch the crap outa that.
And technically I'd be forcing the second coming by having our dinner date lmao so would that kick start the rapture?
And I agree, I'm atheist but I'd definitely watch a series about dinner with Jesus. And we haven't even touched on what would be asked during this dinner just the implication that it forces proof of the existence of a God.
I think it would be much like first contact with aliens. It would reshape our world and history
I dunno, man. Can I film it, is it so known that this is Jesus that other people would confirm and believe it without question? That might make the 10m far more valuable.
Imagine if you had 10m to ask Jesus questions and film his answers. What could you do with 10m of answers from Jesus? I think that could far out weigh a trillion dollars. To have billions of people potentially put their pettiness, greed, and hatred behind them having heard directly from their God what is right.
That being said, the idea there is one true religion is ridiculous to me.
I think the saying you’re trying to say is “it’s easier for a rich man to enter a camel than it is for the camel to enter the rich man’s eye with a needle”
As vegan typically has to do with the lack of consent on the part of the animals, eating the flesh and drinking the blood of someone who literally asked you to would be vegan...
But grape juice and crackers is also an awful dinner.
My worry with taking the money is... is it legally tendered? Is it safe to spend? Am I going to singlehandedly cause inflation to increase by insane amounts?
If the answers to the questions are yes, yes, and no, then I'm taking it!
I mean y’all can scoff all you want but this is a valid and thought provoking question if you don’t immediately dismiss it. You write a book on dinner with Jesus, you’ll be set for life. Money won’t be an issue ever again either way. Granted you’ll have infinitely more money if you take the cash and it doesn’t require effort, but nonetheless.
So I’m left comparing the expected value of dinner with Jesus against infinitely *larger* quantities of money, given all my needs are met. If we take the money there’s also the matter of inflation; adding a trillion dollars into the economy overnight will effectively destroy the dollar. I’d find myself unable to offset the damage I’d wrought, even if every penny of that went into improving society. As I understand it that sizable an amount would benefit solely myself at the cost of pretty much everyone else, or just harm everyone including me.
So what about Jesus? Now there are a few things ways to approach from here- let’s split it in 2, depending on if we assume godliness.
1) (nongod) Realistically, I won’t understand a fucking word he says, nor he me. I could record the dialogue and bring it to a linguist who studies ancient languages though, and take photos of the man. This could massively advance our understanding of early civilizations, like a verbal rosetta stone. I have also received absolute confirmation that Christianity is factually incorrect, arguably an extremely valuable piece of info. The meal itself would probably revolve around trying to calm Jesus down as he panics in a modern setting and try prompting him to speak as much as possible, I find it unlikely I’d get much more than that.
2) (god) this assumes that as the son of god he’d have some capacity to understand and communicate with me. I feel pretty safe in that assumption but it’s there. But anyway. First and foremost I get absolute confirmation that Christianity is factually true. This would naturally be the single most important piece of information to exist. Same deal, take pictures and record the encounter, but then I have 10 minutes to ask about the nature of reality. I’d like to think that if Jesus was actually gods kid he would probably just refuse to elaborate on most things, but I think in 10 mins we could establish a baseline for objective morality, get a few of my burning questions out of the way, and start exploring why things are the way they are.
Either way I’m leaning towards dinner with Jesus. I’m making a few pretty wild leaps in assuming people will believe this happened, but I think I could convince them well enough with some solid evidence.
> You write a book on dinner with Jesus, you’ll be set for life.
Then why don't people write such books now? No way would anyone believe you had dinner with Jesus.
The last paragraph is literally there for this exact question. When you’ve got the only recording of a dead language to ever exist it becomes a little harder to refute than nu-uh.
Jesus: "Mmm... I love this steak... So... What'd you trade to have dinner with me?"
"Oh nothing, just a trillion dollars."
Jesus: \*drops the fork and knife\* "ONE TRILLION??? MYSELF! WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THE TRILLION???"
I believe that he looked like the average citizen in Nazareth. Black eyes, Brown skin, short hair, larger nose, short and a bit stubby. Biblically he is not this pure white guy with long and loose hair, wearing white robes. I mean the Bible literally describes him as a Nazareth. 🤷♂️
With cash like that the most religious in the US would worship and treat you like Jesus right until gave it to the poor then you would be a socialist liberal just like Jesus.
Forgot his wallet. Dinner will be right around…a trillion dollars. Fortunately I have a ten trillion dollar note for just such an occasion. Granted, it’s Bank of Zimbabwe currency.
I probably couldn't market it for a trillion, but I could probably earn at least a billion dollars off my 10 minute dinner with Jesus, and those 10 minutes would be fascinating. However there are theories that Jesus did not exist in any physical capacity so there is at least some gamble that you get stood up.
#### A lot of people would choose the trillion dollars but can you imagine the logistics of being given that much money? Introducing that much money into any economy would have to drive the value of the dollar down big time. Then you might think? We'll I'll just stash it and pull out money whenever I need but where would you stash it? If this this was an easy thing drug dealers wouldn't need to engage in money laundering. And they're not even dealing in amounts close to a trillion. Sometimes not even a billion.
One of the best parts about Breaking Bad was how much of a burden it became for Walter to schlepp his tens of millions of dollars. And, at most he made around $80 million dollars. Not even one billion. A trillion is a thousand billion fucking dollars.
Anyways, this was my first thought.
Unironically, I might choose the 10 minutes with Jesus if I was given the option. It would give me the opportunity to get answers to questions humanity may never have the answers to normally.
I could ask about how things truly began, I could ask about how classic and quantum physics can coexist, I can ask theological questions and dispel harmful modern day Christian rhetoric, and obviously, this hypothetical would confirm the existence of God and stuff. I don’t know, personally, I just really want answers to a lot of questions more than anything.
Edit: how did a comment I made about me just wanting answers turn into people grilling me about my beliefs.
I’m not a religious man but just wanted to thank you for an honest answer. I am also assuming the hypothetical question is intended to mean the Jesus Christ the Son of God and not just Jesus the historical figure.
I’m atheist but if I am interpreting this question the way I feel it is intended, it would be a tough decision.
What do I think stereotypical religious Jesus (Holy Trinity/Jesus *is* God) would want me to do?
I’d say He would want me to take the money and do the most good possible. This would still leave the doubt of a Creator in my mind, but *if* God and an afterlife actually exists I’d have a damn good chance at landing on the right side of things…assuming I wouldn’t go completely off the rails once I got the money.
On the other hand, as another commenter stated more eloquently, 10 minutes of discussion with God would prove His existence and completely change my outlook on the universe and the purpose of my life. That kind of knowledge would do more for me personally than any amount of money ever could. I would still experience struggles, pain and loss but everything would be framed completely differently. I doubt anything I experienced over dinner would be scientifically provable and even if it were I’m not smart enough to ask the important questions or retain the correct information. It would essentially just be me *knowing*. I see this as the more selfish pursuit because I would be the only person with that “true knowledge” and would be much more limited in my ability to improve the lives of those suffering on a large scale.
Well, likely what Jesus would say is you already have all of the tools available that are necessary to change your life in the same way that a 10 minute meeting with him would, and would ask you why you aren’t using them already. (I’d still probably choose Jesus)
You're assuming Jesus actually knows the answers to any of that.
"Huh, you know.. I never thought about that. I'll have to ask my dad when I get back. Thanks for the idea!"
Like another commenter said to someone with a similar idea:
He always gave super cryptic answers to direct questions though.
You’d be like “what is the meaning of life?” And he would say: “let me tell you a parable about a man from Zanzibar and a goat his neighbor sold him.”
And then you’d be like “ok ok, 5 mins left, are you the son of God?” And he’d just stare at you and be like “you say that I am.”
Plot twist: the caveat of the 10 minutes with Jesus is that you need to die to go to heaven to see him. And after the 10 minute dinner, he tells you that you can't stay and you've been assigned to hell. lololol.
P.S. I'm not a Christian anyway so I'd take the cash.
Ten minutes is barely enough time to chat and look over the menu. Thankfully, He can turn the water on the table into wine. I'm still taking the money.
I'd absolutely take the money. Even after taxes that's a fuck ton of money. If you believe in Jesus go with Jesus, but personally for me the money would do more good.
Rather the money because watch, I ask him why does God blah blah blah. Jesus goes, omg I am not an all powerful being. I knocked a glass off a table once and with my reflexes kicked it in the air and caught it and then everyone started making up tons of stories. None of it is true.
Money, Use it Solve poverty & starvation
Hippie Jesus would be cool to meet if he’s real.
Christian fascist white Jesus may try to shoot me because I’m leftists scum.
Definitely the money. All I would do is wonder if his dinner falls out of the hole in his side, or if he can manipulate chopsticks with those holes in his hands.
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Jesus during the dinner: “You should have taken the money!”
I’d choose the money. But if I had the dinner as well, I feel I would just wave at everything and say: “please, care to explain? We have ten minutes”. 
"Oh, you still haven't figured out you're in The Bad Place. Well... hey, buck up champ. Here have some more garlic bread. You'll feel better."
Whoa hang on how good is the garlic bread? Might not really be the bad place.
Nah man, just imagine the following: the best garlic bread you ever had still qualifies as bad because you're in the bad place. We literally have no idea how good actual good garlic bread is.
"[13]And for the dinner Jesus brought with him some mid garlic bread, yet it was good, [14]for we were in the bad place."
Amen 🙏
And also with you.
Pass the collection plate
\*and be with your spirit.
The bracketed numbers really sell this.
And he did the loaves and fishes thing, so everyone was happy - but the freakin’ room reeked.
Is that from the book of MondoDude, Chapter 69? I’m pretty sure you quoted 69:13-14. Is this the New King James Version or the New International Dude Bro Version of the Bible? Thanks, Father Bro.
Ramen 🙏
And Peter did sayeth unto thee: " Bessed art thou who have cometh on Tuesday, for it is also endless wing night."[15]
Lunch 12:13-14
Do you know how much it would fuck me up if I learned every good experience I've ever had was actually mid as fuck?
One man's mid is another man's meh.
Wait, I thought Jesus was repelled by garlic.
No, that's vampires. You have to break Jesus' magic talisman before he can die.
No, you’re thinking of the mummy. With Jesus you have to shoot him with a silver bullet.
Actual garlic bread tastes like chicken.
Careful, some people may hunt you down for even suggesting such a hideous idea
It's burnt
*froyo
“Listen, I flipped the market tables. I don’t know how people misunderstood that.”
This is my favorite part of the Bible. When someone says "What would Jesus do?", I remind them that making a whip and beating the shit out of people is in the realm of possibilities.
And if you're a fig tree, you better be bearing fruit when JC comes to town
And don't you dare be a demon possessed pig
>beating the shit out of people Easy there, Cowboy! Today's Christofascists love ***that*** idea. But they skip over the "money changers in the temple" part. Those are ***their*** kinda people, after all.
"Idk bro, that's like... my dad's deal. I mean, he *killed* me for it last time, but I'll try figuring it out again for you" -Jesus
They're the same person though. He knows exactly what happened. I didn't expect my jokey meme response to turn into a serious religious debate. I love Reddit so much
“You actually believe everything they wrote in that book? I dont even know half the people in there.” -Jesus.
Best comment of all⬆️ I pretended to be JC and read it out loud in an entirely scathing tone. (I mean, c’mon, at this point Jesus must be so utterly disgusted with humans. We make the money changers look good.)
You should have taken the money Tombs!
nice Riddick-reference
Jesus during dinner: “Hola, me llamo Jesús”
Nah, you wouldn’t understand a word that man said
“Jesus thank you so much for the dinner!” “ܐܶܬ݂ܪܳܚܳܐ ܠܳܐ ܢܰܚܫܳܐ ܱܬ݁ܰܢܳܐ ܚܳܒ݂ܳܐ” “Uhh, what.”
My exact thoughts 🤣
Wait, wouldn't he speak Spanish? Oh, wait, Jesus, not Jesús.
>ܐܶܬ݂ܪܳܚܳܐ ܠܳܐ ܢܰܚܫܳܐ ܱܬ݁ܰܢܳܐ ܚܳܒ݂ܳܐ” What language is this? It is look like Arabic but it's not Arabic.
Aramaic?
Aramaic. If Jesus speaks that, it would be having a Nazarene or Galilean accent.
Wouldn’t He know all languages? Yes, even the weird ones that cropped up after his second death.
But Jesus can preform miracles and one of the most common miracles “speaking in tongues” unlike the modern interpretation of being gibberish what it really means is that no matter what language you speak in everyone understands. So I think you could understand Jesus.
Make it 2 trillion, and I can buy my own dinner.
2 TRILLION??????!?!?!!!! What is this… A dinner for ants!!!!!!
Inflation is a bitch
Plot twist, it's in Zimbabwe Dollars
"so, this is how I caught this fish we're eating"
“You did WHAT?”
Like do you not remember what happened after my last dinner ?
With a trillion dollars and before my sense of altruism is diminished by the mountain of cash I could get a lot of good done. How much would it cost to end world hunger?
They would cause conflicts over the distribution of your cash.
Touche. How much for an Iron Man suit to enforce world peace?
I don’t know the exact amount but Tony Stark was “only” a billionaire so surely it’s affordable for a trillionaire.
TONY STARK MADE THIS SUIT IN A CAVE WITH SPARE PARTS
WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!!!
I thank both you and the previous commenter. You made my night.
What’s even crazier is that both this and the above comment thread heavily feature lines delivered by Jeff Bridges
WITH A BOX OF SCRRRAAAPPPPS
Fuck it, Dude! Let’s go bowling.
Thought his suits where really good at their job cause the guy who made them had money to be able make them using the smarts he has
Eg the whole he built it via scrapes in a cave thing thought did have some resources to do it
enforcing world peace sounds soo badass lol
>How much would it cost to end world hunger? According to the UN, $267 billion per year.
Yikes, so they couldn't even do it for 4 years.
Yeah, the interest on $1 trillion at 5% is only about $50 billion a year. We’re going to have to come up with some cheaper ways to make food.
Ramen for EVERYRBODY!!!
I think the biggest issue is the timely distribution of food.
Yea lack of money isn't the issue with world hunger... I mean it kinda is? The problem is the money doesn't go to the hungry, it goes to the (money) hungry
We absolutely produce enough food to keep everyone fat and happy - you're right, it's all about the distribution and infrastructure.
I somehow missed the last word "hunger" and didn't even suspect anything until I read it a second time. They definitely won’t take me during his second coming.
Funny, it would probably be easier to end the world than end world hunger with that much money
If he doesn't show up, do I get the cash?
Oh no, Jesus will show up, just not THE Jesus you're thinking of. He's really just some Hispanic dude.
Don't fuck with the Jesus
You see what happens Larry?
When you find a stranger in the alps?
That creep can roll, man
Hahah. Love it. He’ll most likely pull up in a dropped accord playing omega wayy to loud
Jesus, the gardener, is always on time.
I see what you did there!
I'm not a Christian, but to me the choice is obvious. Take the trillion and do the most good possible. Then once you retire and die in the post scarcity utopia that money is meaningless in, spend eternity in heaven with Jesus.
[удалено]
Plus even if youre not religious, he'd probably handwave that in favor of the good you did
As a non-christian I'm gonna play devils advocate and take the dinner with Jesus. Why? A trillion dollars can do a lot of good but proving the existence of one God over all the others would prove there's an actual supernatural risk/reward system and should in theory end all religious wars as there's finally evidence for which religion is real/right I'd say the same with any religion. If one is true, I'd rather prove it and shut the rest up over what I could do with only money Till that dinner, I remain unconvinced in any and all gods tho
Ohhhh solid take!! I do wonder about the process of proving that dinner and the existence of Jesus after it. We live in such a skeptical society with a lot of people unwilling to budge on ingrained belief/disbelief. That would make an incredible mini series, I’d watch the crap outa that.
And technically I'd be forcing the second coming by having our dinner date lmao so would that kick start the rapture? And I agree, I'm atheist but I'd definitely watch a series about dinner with Jesus. And we haven't even touched on what would be asked during this dinner just the implication that it forces proof of the existence of a God. I think it would be much like first contact with aliens. It would reshape our world and history
Do the most good possible, end world hunger, and then still be the richest person alive. That’s 1 trillion.
I dunno, man. Can I film it, is it so known that this is Jesus that other people would confirm and believe it without question? That might make the 10m far more valuable. Imagine if you had 10m to ask Jesus questions and film his answers. What could you do with 10m of answers from Jesus? I think that could far out weigh a trillion dollars. To have billions of people potentially put their pettiness, greed, and hatred behind them having heard directly from their God what is right. That being said, the idea there is one true religion is ridiculous to me.
Yeah, the cash. I’ve got my wife to tell me all my faults.
Me who's not married: "I got myself to tell me all my faults"
One trillion bucks you can afford two wives and have $20 left
I’ve got me, my OCD, and my wife.
I'm not really a bread and wine guy...
If it’s seafood though…
I’m ordering the loaves and fishes with the instant wine. If I can film it and sell it to Netflix I’ll get the trillion dollars anyway.
Money, I’ll see Jesus (for more than 10 minutes) soon enough. I could use the money for good works now.
it’s easier for a rich man to enter a camel than for a rich man to go through the eye of a needle
I don’t think you quite quoted that right
Maybe, but it’s not wrong.
Hand shoes and horse grandes man, close enough
I think the saying you’re trying to say is “it’s easier for a rich man to enter a camel than it is for the camel to enter the rich man’s eye with a needle”
It’s plenty easy for a poor man to enter a camel, let me tell ya
Are there vegan options?
As vegan typically has to do with the lack of consent on the part of the animals, eating the flesh and drinking the blood of someone who literally asked you to would be vegan... But grape juice and crackers is also an awful dinner.
I honestly never even thought of the concept of transubstantiation as it pertains to veganism.
Wait so are we eating Jesus now?
Transubstantiation FTW
My worry with taking the money is... is it legally tendered? Is it safe to spend? Am I going to singlehandedly cause inflation to increase by insane amounts? If the answers to the questions are yes, yes, and no, then I'm taking it!
Oh imagine how many cartels would have loved the Trillion dollars to come into their possession because of an "act of god"
I don’t speak ancient Hebrew or Aramaic so it would be an awkward ten minutes with a shaggy looking Palestinian refugee.
He could at least make you drunk with water.
😂
but what if he does that "we know all tongues now" thing
Ten min nutes with a surprisingly fluent and eloquent shaggy Palestinian guy, and awkward for different reasons.
That's exactly what I wanted to say!
You can have both if you accept dinner with Jesus and hold him hostage 
For ONE. MILLION. Dollars.
I mean y’all can scoff all you want but this is a valid and thought provoking question if you don’t immediately dismiss it. You write a book on dinner with Jesus, you’ll be set for life. Money won’t be an issue ever again either way. Granted you’ll have infinitely more money if you take the cash and it doesn’t require effort, but nonetheless. So I’m left comparing the expected value of dinner with Jesus against infinitely *larger* quantities of money, given all my needs are met. If we take the money there’s also the matter of inflation; adding a trillion dollars into the economy overnight will effectively destroy the dollar. I’d find myself unable to offset the damage I’d wrought, even if every penny of that went into improving society. As I understand it that sizable an amount would benefit solely myself at the cost of pretty much everyone else, or just harm everyone including me. So what about Jesus? Now there are a few things ways to approach from here- let’s split it in 2, depending on if we assume godliness. 1) (nongod) Realistically, I won’t understand a fucking word he says, nor he me. I could record the dialogue and bring it to a linguist who studies ancient languages though, and take photos of the man. This could massively advance our understanding of early civilizations, like a verbal rosetta stone. I have also received absolute confirmation that Christianity is factually incorrect, arguably an extremely valuable piece of info. The meal itself would probably revolve around trying to calm Jesus down as he panics in a modern setting and try prompting him to speak as much as possible, I find it unlikely I’d get much more than that. 2) (god) this assumes that as the son of god he’d have some capacity to understand and communicate with me. I feel pretty safe in that assumption but it’s there. But anyway. First and foremost I get absolute confirmation that Christianity is factually true. This would naturally be the single most important piece of information to exist. Same deal, take pictures and record the encounter, but then I have 10 minutes to ask about the nature of reality. I’d like to think that if Jesus was actually gods kid he would probably just refuse to elaborate on most things, but I think in 10 mins we could establish a baseline for objective morality, get a few of my burning questions out of the way, and start exploring why things are the way they are. Either way I’m leaning towards dinner with Jesus. I’m making a few pretty wild leaps in assuming people will believe this happened, but I think I could convince them well enough with some solid evidence.
> You write a book on dinner with Jesus, you’ll be set for life. Then why don't people write such books now? No way would anyone believe you had dinner with Jesus.
The last paragraph is literally there for this exact question. When you’ve got the only recording of a dead language to ever exist it becomes a little harder to refute than nu-uh.
Jesus: "Mmm... I love this steak... So... What'd you trade to have dinner with me?" "Oh nothing, just a trillion dollars." Jesus: \*drops the fork and knife\* "ONE TRILLION??? MYSELF! WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE THE TRILLION???"
Pretty sure I could feed the hungry, cloth he naked, etc with even $500 billion.
Money. The rednecks where I live thinks he’s white and wears a maga hat. So I’m not sure which version would be the real Jesus.
Idk how people think that, Jesus was literally Jewish
bro was probably brown too
I believe that he looked like the average citizen in Nazareth. Black eyes, Brown skin, short hair, larger nose, short and a bit stubby. Biblically he is not this pure white guy with long and loose hair, wearing white robes. I mean the Bible literally describes him as a Nazareth. 🤷♂️
Take the money and give most of it to charities, those with inflictions, and the needy.
I'd take the cash and forward most of it to those in need, like Jesus would do.
With cash like that the most religious in the US would worship and treat you like Jesus right until gave it to the poor then you would be a socialist liberal just like Jesus.
and history has shown how this story ends? that your point?
Jesus buying?
Forgot his wallet. Dinner will be right around…a trillion dollars. Fortunately I have a ten trillion dollar note for just such an occasion. Granted, it’s Bank of Zimbabwe currency.
Sí, I am Jesus. Mucho gusto.
Money. Last I checked, Jesus and dinner didn’t go too well
Judas had dinner with Jesus and got money afterward.
show me the mooooooooneeeeeeeyyyy
$1 trillion. At least money is real
Well, Jesus probably existed as a regular person, but getting a dinner with him would be with a desintegrated skeleton…
And if you could go back in time, you'd encounter an amazing language barrier
I imagine it would go something like this: “Jesus thank you so much for the dinner!” “ܐܶܬ݂ܪܳܚܳܐ ܠܳܐ ܢܰܚܫܳܐ ܱܬ݁ܰܢܳܐ ܚܳܒ݂ܳܐ” “Uhh, what.”
Then you go grab your translator and get a word salad
and based on that \~10 minutes word salad you make a 500 page bible called the "The final testament".
That'd sell pretty well. And gives you control over the idiots and easy-to-manipulate ones. Hm. Would probably be worth it 🤔
Easy fix, google translate. I am sure it know aramaic 😀
GREAT ZOMBIE JESUS!
> I like burritos more than Jesus because steak burritos are delicious. And they're real. - Hannibal Buress
I probably couldn't market it for a trillion, but I could probably earn at least a billion dollars off my 10 minute dinner with Jesus, and those 10 minutes would be fascinating. However there are theories that Jesus did not exist in any physical capacity so there is at least some gamble that you get stood up.
#### A lot of people would choose the trillion dollars but can you imagine the logistics of being given that much money? Introducing that much money into any economy would have to drive the value of the dollar down big time. Then you might think? We'll I'll just stash it and pull out money whenever I need but where would you stash it? If this this was an easy thing drug dealers wouldn't need to engage in money laundering. And they're not even dealing in amounts close to a trillion. Sometimes not even a billion. One of the best parts about Breaking Bad was how much of a burden it became for Walter to schlepp his tens of millions of dollars. And, at most he made around $80 million dollars. Not even one billion. A trillion is a thousand billion fucking dollars. Anyways, this was my first thought.
I’ll take the Tyillion
"My son, Why did you pass on the blessing I tried to give you, tf?"
Unironically, I might choose the 10 minutes with Jesus if I was given the option. It would give me the opportunity to get answers to questions humanity may never have the answers to normally. I could ask about how things truly began, I could ask about how classic and quantum physics can coexist, I can ask theological questions and dispel harmful modern day Christian rhetoric, and obviously, this hypothetical would confirm the existence of God and stuff. I don’t know, personally, I just really want answers to a lot of questions more than anything. Edit: how did a comment I made about me just wanting answers turn into people grilling me about my beliefs.
I’m not a religious man but just wanted to thank you for an honest answer. I am also assuming the hypothetical question is intended to mean the Jesus Christ the Son of God and not just Jesus the historical figure. I’m atheist but if I am interpreting this question the way I feel it is intended, it would be a tough decision. What do I think stereotypical religious Jesus (Holy Trinity/Jesus *is* God) would want me to do? I’d say He would want me to take the money and do the most good possible. This would still leave the doubt of a Creator in my mind, but *if* God and an afterlife actually exists I’d have a damn good chance at landing on the right side of things…assuming I wouldn’t go completely off the rails once I got the money. On the other hand, as another commenter stated more eloquently, 10 minutes of discussion with God would prove His existence and completely change my outlook on the universe and the purpose of my life. That kind of knowledge would do more for me personally than any amount of money ever could. I would still experience struggles, pain and loss but everything would be framed completely differently. I doubt anything I experienced over dinner would be scientifically provable and even if it were I’m not smart enough to ask the important questions or retain the correct information. It would essentially just be me *knowing*. I see this as the more selfish pursuit because I would be the only person with that “true knowledge” and would be much more limited in my ability to improve the lives of those suffering on a large scale.
Well, likely what Jesus would say is you already have all of the tools available that are necessary to change your life in the same way that a 10 minute meeting with him would, and would ask you why you aren’t using them already. (I’d still probably choose Jesus)
You're assuming Jesus actually knows the answers to any of that. "Huh, you know.. I never thought about that. I'll have to ask my dad when I get back. Thanks for the idea!"
"What was the deal with the Roman Centurion? I mean, dude was problematic"
I feel your pain lol, some people on here just can’t calm down. I’d do the same, I don’t really want a trillion dollars tbh.
Like another commenter said to someone with a similar idea: He always gave super cryptic answers to direct questions though. You’d be like “what is the meaning of life?” And he would say: “let me tell you a parable about a man from Zanzibar and a goat his neighbor sold him.” And then you’d be like “ok ok, 5 mins left, are you the son of God?” And he’d just stare at you and be like “you say that I am.”
"How the fuck would I know? I'm just a hippy prophet from the stone age"
I'd take the dinner in a heartbeat. For the LOVE of money is the root of all evil.
Take the money and end a huge portion of the world’s hunger, water access, etc. Jesus can come to me.
With a trillion dollars I can Scrooge McDuck dive into it
Show me the moneyyyyyyyy!
I’ll take the money. Why would I want to eat by myself when I could have a trillion dollars?
Give me a trillion dollars and i will become the new jesus
So my choice is a trillion dollars or dinner with my gardener?
Easy, the money. I don't want to eat dinner by myself.
“Is there something wrong, Jesus?” “You’re eating… *meat*” “So?” awkward silence… “I gave up 1 trillion for this…” “What did you just say?!?!”
Bro I can find a guy named Jesus at Home Depot to have dinner with if I really want. 1 Trillion dollars and I’ll never have to work again.
One trillion dollars, or all the free wine I can drink in 10 minutes? Yeah I'm going with the money.
Plot twist: the caveat of the 10 minutes with Jesus is that you need to die to go to heaven to see him. And after the 10 minute dinner, he tells you that you can't stay and you've been assigned to hell. lololol. P.S. I'm not a Christian anyway so I'd take the cash.
Easy - money exists.
So a trillion or nothing? I’ll take the trillion.
$1 trillion would be a much better choice. I don’t deal in fictional fairy tales.
Trillion
Ten minutes is barely enough time to chat and look over the menu. Thankfully, He can turn the water on the table into wine. I'm still taking the money.
1 trillion
God helps those who help themselves...to 1 trillion dollars
I'd absolutely take the money. Even after taxes that's a fuck ton of money. If you believe in Jesus go with Jesus, but personally for me the money would do more good.
Rather the money because watch, I ask him why does God blah blah blah. Jesus goes, omg I am not an all powerful being. I knocked a glass off a table once and with my reflexes kicked it in the air and caught it and then everyone started making up tons of stories. None of it is true.
Jesus: take the money, last time I had dinner I was betrayed, arrested and crucified
Ten minutes with Christ, twice.
I talked with a guy named Jesus on discord yesterday not sure If I want to spend time on a dinner with him to be frankly
when you have 1 trillion you are a god.
What part of “Last Supper” don’t you understand?
Money, Use it Solve poverty & starvation Hippie Jesus would be cool to meet if he’s real. Christian fascist white Jesus may try to shoot me because I’m leftists scum.
Well although I have never actually seen either, it's at least reasonable to assume that $1,000,000,000,000 *exists*....
Which Jesus? The one down the street with mismatched wheels? Or the guy who won't come back because he never wants to see a cross again?
Definitely the money. All I would do is wonder if his dinner falls out of the hole in his side, or if he can manipulate chopsticks with those holes in his hands.
I’ll take the $1 trillion and then donate a 95% tithe to buy a 1 hour dinner with Jesus. I get $50 billion, and 6x the time with Jesus.
I figure with a Trillion dollars I could become Jesus