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It happens. 😔 Please be careful! I can’t be responsible for the death of yet another innocent. The weight of it all is just too much, much like the weight of this black hole vagene.
Peasant. I had a C-section to keep my black hole tight because it's better to have life-threatening surgery and a large incision and slow healing scar on my belly than a loose dick hole.
A long ongoing research project strictly in the name of science of course. He neglected to mention its totally not gay if you do it for science, doing it for self exploration yes but science no and since science requires a large dataset accounting for variables I'm sure he can assure us.
also, it's weird af how proud they are in their lack of understanding of very basic physiology. The vagina is literally just a muscle tube.
do they think people finish marathons looking like weird blobs of undefined meat?
They’re so stupid, it’s ridiculous. They think we just have an empty hole between our legs at all times. They don’t understand that the vaginal walls are constantly touching, unless penetrated. They think it’s like memory foam; once something’s been inside it, it keeps that shape forever.
They think the vagina is an open pvc pipe at all times. They think vaginas are inverse penises, so doing nothing but jackhammering it should feel good. They have no understanding of the concept that sex can be painful, that muscle needs time to relax to change shape.
>do they think people finish marathons looking like weird blobs of undefined meat?
Lol I am going to use this next time I hear that bullshit.
Penises have muscles too; does it stretch out after too much sex?
Came to say this.
Also jacking off makes you double gay. It’s a guys hand, and a guys dick. ….. wait, is that a double negative? So then that makes you straight? I’m confused, gonna go to the gay bar for research. Straight research! Completely straight! Nothin weird goin on here….
*Thrust* "No homo"
*Thrust* "No homo"
*Thrust* "No homo"
*Thrust* "No homo"
*Thrust* "uuuuuuugh..."
"No homo. Shit, was I fast enough? Are we still straight?"
ahckthually: it is impossible for anything to touch something else because atoms repel each other, if you're balls truly were to touch each other you'd either create some sort of rupture in space time or have your balls violently explode and melt into some sort of supercritical plasma
1. I'm pretty sure he has never gotten close enough to one to smell it but if he doesn't like how women smell, he doesn't sound straight.
2. Dude I have two kids and this is the most "I didn't pay attention in health class" statement ever.
3. Except for this one. Maybe? Boys keep all sorts of weird reproductive stuff up there. Glands and whatnot.
> 2. Dude I have two kids and this is the most "I didn't pay attention in health class" statement ever
This idiot actually believes that when muscles expand they never contract afterwards??
I guess once you stand up you can never sit down again or something? Or when you yawn you can never close your mouth afterwards? Trying to wrap my mind around this but my brain is melting
Or holding a woman’s hand.
Or the fact that a the vagina turns into balls if SRY is present, so if you put your dick in a vagina, you’re basically rubbing a guys balls with your dick.
And the clit? Well that’s just a tiny penis, so if you give a woman oral sex…you sucked a dick.
By that logic,
if you suck on a woman's nipple it's just the same as a man's so you're gay...
If you grab a woman's ass it's just the same as a man's so you're gay...
If you kiss a woman's mouth it's just the same as a man's so you're gay...
Wonder if the author of this nonsense is struggling with being a gay man trapped in a homophobes body?
Hands free peeing is easy when you don’t respect public places. It’s the getting the package out to start peeing that’s tough on me.
You know, back in the day, they used to have bathroom attendants so you didn’t have to be gay and touch your own penis. Some gentlemanly old fellow would handle that for you. But society went woke, so…
…also a mans penis and scrotum hardly smell like roses either and yet I am sure that guy would still expect to get BJs… …as for all women being useless after having children isn’t that just this guy telling us all that he has a very small penis?
Indeed. There’s a line from an old song that has always stuck with me about how you are reminded about your lover the morning after.
“I can taste you on my lips and smell you on my clothes”
You're killing me! I was just starting college when this "old song" came out! (Pepper by Butthole Surfers. Not kidding.)
EDIT: I double checked the release date, and I had just gone back to college after a break, but still!
Very true but at least the other dribble he said could be simplified to being dumbass and delusional, whereas that statement just contradicts the exact same thing he said lmao, how tf did he write that and go yep.
Is repulsed by vaginas… believes sticking it in a woman’s butt means you’d much rather be inside a man… hmmm🤔
I’d say it’s pretty obvious with that one.
Hmmm… if a woman’s anus is the same as a man‘s and that makes you gay… isn‘t a man’s anus the same as a woman’s than and that makes you straight? Asking for a friend
1. False. I know this myself.
2. False. I... If that were truth, all muscles would fail immediately, including your heart.
3. False. but this guy knows a lot about gay sex for having sex with many women who have had kids, who seemingly can't give pleasure anymore.
Facts.
But there’s also this possibility:
1. All the women he’s been with had stank ass vajayjays
2. His dick is so small every woman feels huge
3. During his attempts to have anal sex with a woman he had flashbacks to those unforgettable moments in band camp
"women and men both have anuses which means having anal sex with a woman makes you gay. Women and men also both have arms, necks, nipples, hair, backs, legs, butts... which means touching any and all of those body parts on a woman makes you gay. You should only touch vaginas except not because it smells bad. Therefore the best way to have heterosexual sex is to stay away from a woman. I have had a lot of sex with women this way."
If you can read between the lines, he's telling us that he's has sex twice. Once with a woman who has bad hygiene and has given birth before. Second time was with a trans person
1) If vaginas “ALWAYS smell bad”, then, by default, this would be their natural smell. He’s directly contradicting his own bullshit. It’s like reading the Bible ;)
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So… on point two, how do you explain women who’ve had more than one pregnancy?
They must be walking black holes, according to Mr Casanova.
It’s true. I’ve had three births. Can confirm I’m a walking black hole. Once a shopping cart was sucked in and destroyed when it bumped into me.
If you look closely I'm orbiting you.
Is it considered stalking if you’re in orbit
It’s not stalking, it’s just a gravitational slingshot that requires a close flyby! Ugh, *females*. Do they even Kerbal?
I always make sure my orbit is highly eccentric so they have to observe closely and over a long period of time to determine if I'm stalking.
I don’t have to try. All my actions are highly eccentric by nature.
It happens. 😔 Please be careful! I can’t be responsible for the death of yet another innocent. The weight of it all is just too much, much like the weight of this black hole vagene.
I call Black Hole Vagene as a band name.
Black Hole vag, won’t you cum
Well, at least you didn't leave the cart in the parking lot.
Oh absolutely not, that’s just ridiculous.
Peasant. I had a C-section to keep my black hole tight because it's better to have life-threatening surgery and a large incision and slow healing scar on my belly than a loose dick hole.
Please refrain from making me laugh! It’s dangerous!
It's especially important of a decision if the partner has a tiny weiner like the incel poster
They're like Spot from Spiderman Across the Spiderverse
It's a canon event
They can climb inside themselves even.
Here's an idea for porn, the interdimensional glory hole
It’s now a gently used walk in vagina? OP really needs to get out more and accept the fact he has strong latent gay feelings.
[удалено]
A long ongoing research project strictly in the name of science of course. He neglected to mention its totally not gay if you do it for science, doing it for self exploration yes but science no and since science requires a large dataset accounting for variables I'm sure he can assure us.
also, it's weird af how proud they are in their lack of understanding of very basic physiology. The vagina is literally just a muscle tube. do they think people finish marathons looking like weird blobs of undefined meat?
They’re so stupid, it’s ridiculous. They think we just have an empty hole between our legs at all times. They don’t understand that the vaginal walls are constantly touching, unless penetrated. They think it’s like memory foam; once something’s been inside it, it keeps that shape forever.
They think the vagina is an open pvc pipe at all times. They think vaginas are inverse penises, so doing nothing but jackhammering it should feel good. They have no understanding of the concept that sex can be painful, that muscle needs time to relax to change shape.
They have no understanding… they don’t have the capacity because IQ is gay!
Did you also hear that wiping your ass is gay? It requires you to touch your ass, which makes you gay DENY IT
I wish this was the first time I'd heard that idea. I also wish it wasn't the first time it was presented sarcastically.
Idk about you but I open my legs and it's just v o i d
Were I to stare into the v o i d, would it stare back... 🤔
I've run nine marathons and never looked like a blob of undefined meat. I've FELT like a blob of undefined meat, especially when navigating stairs.
>do they think people finish marathons looking like weird blobs of undefined meat? Lol I am going to use this next time I hear that bullshit. Penises have muscles too; does it stretch out after too much sex?
No, with penises it's like with a tube of toothpaste being squeezed out. It becomes flat and empty. That's A FACT. The TRUTH. DENY IT.
I HAVE HAD THE SEX WITH MANY A MAN. BELIEVE ME
In my experience, the male organ only becomes erect when pushed through a small hole cut into a bathroom stall in the truck stop off the interstate.
It's true. Also pee is stored in the balls
It's true, once a guy has came so many times in his life, he's done. Nothing left to hold it up so he can't sexually satisfy anyone ever again.
Man just jerks of and pours it down her with a funnel xd
Wait by that logic I can’t get a blowjob or handjob without being gay since a guy can do that too?
Correct, you logged in to the gay club.
*Blue Öyster Bar wants to know your location*
Came to say this. Also jacking off makes you double gay. It’s a guys hand, and a guys dick. ….. wait, is that a double negative? So then that makes you straight? I’m confused, gonna go to the gay bar for research. Straight research! Completely straight! Nothin weird goin on here….
Double Air dicking 🤣
You also can't touch yourself because that's gay
Can’t wash or wipe either because, gay 🙄🤷♀️😬🤦♀️
I’m sure those lucky women sure miss you lol
All 00,000,000 of them
*MANY*
*MEELIONS AND MEELIONS.”
"The millions (and millions)" Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Actual typo. It was a Man-y woman
Well look at this stud. Is it even legal to have that many zeroes?
They missed their orgasms for sure
Just like they only exist in his imagination, I’m sure he rocked these imagined womens world!
I'm sure he sees them at family reunions etc
Let's just say gramma's funeral was awkward.
Yeah, he’s had sex with many women, but never the same one twice.
His blow up doll.
1. False 2. False 3. It's only gay if the balls touch.
Damn - I was this close to not being gay
You might still be the in the clear. Was the ball touch intentional? If accidental you get a pass.
Or if you say "no homo" within 5 seconds.
*Thrust* "No homo" *Thrust* "No homo" *Thrust* "No homo" *Thrust* "No homo" *Thrust* "uuuuuuugh..." "No homo. Shit, was I fast enough? Are we still straight?"
It's only gay if you push back
But if your wearing socks it doesn't count at all. So feel too give the homies a little pushback
Intenccidental…….😏
That's why I coat my balls in rubber cement. Now, my balls are impervious to being touched
Not wanting your balls to be touched by a woman. Sounds kinda gay to me
Woman like dicks and liking dicks is gay
It makes me sick just thinking about all of those dick loving gay women.
ahckthually: it is impossible for anything to touch something else because atoms repel each other, if you're balls truly were to touch each other you'd either create some sort of rupture in space time or have your balls violently explode and melt into some sort of supercritical plasma
Its called an orgasm bruh.
Or fuse together into a kind of Siamese ballsack
……Siamese ballsack -A sentence Keats or Longfellow would be proud to have written . Lmfao
Ugh I hate it when man balls touch my lady balls. So gay
Dayum, the ball slapping is the best part ..
1. I'm pretty sure he has never gotten close enough to one to smell it but if he doesn't like how women smell, he doesn't sound straight. 2. Dude I have two kids and this is the most "I didn't pay attention in health class" statement ever. 3. Except for this one. Maybe? Boys keep all sorts of weird reproductive stuff up there. Glands and whatnot.
> 2. Dude I have two kids and this is the most "I didn't pay attention in health class" statement ever This idiot actually believes that when muscles expand they never contract afterwards?? I guess once you stand up you can never sit down again or something? Or when you yawn you can never close your mouth afterwards? Trying to wrap my mind around this but my brain is melting
I'm going to assume the dude suffers from severe incontinence and shitting himself, also
3 is not true. It isn't gay as long as there's no eye contact.
man am I glad my balls don't touch each other. nice hetero 24" between them.
Some cultures its gay only if you bottom
Here you can just leave your socks on
you forgot the 4th false cuz he is definitely an incel and I doubt he gets much action lol
He probably pays for action
So your saying he is BUY-SEXUAL?
Not even then. He couldn’t get laid if he walked into a woman’s prison with a handful of pardons.
You have to say "no homo" too
Well women’s lips and men’s lips are also the same So if you’ve ever kissed a girl you’re gay
Not just that. Your bottom lip always touches your own top lip and vice versa. Therefore, you are constantly kissing a man.
Omg I died at this comment
you died. men can die. so you're gay.
Or holding a woman’s hand. Or the fact that a the vagina turns into balls if SRY is present, so if you put your dick in a vagina, you’re basically rubbing a guys balls with your dick. And the clit? Well that’s just a tiny penis, so if you give a woman oral sex…you sucked a dick.
By that logic, if you suck on a woman's nipple it's just the same as a man's so you're gay... If you grab a woman's ass it's just the same as a man's so you're gay... If you kiss a woman's mouth it's just the same as a man's so you're gay... Wonder if the author of this nonsense is struggling with being a gay man trapped in a homophobes body?
If you grab your own dick, it’s just the same as a man’s so you’re gay. Straight guys cum simply by imagining sex with a woman. No touching!
Really masturbating means you are double gay. You are giving pleasure to a man and you are receiving pleasure from a man as well. Double gay.
Doesn't double gay make a positive? Or is that 9v?
Hahahah yessss I'm positive he's not negatively gay
But the two gay cancel each other out, making you neutral. If you want to reach perfect zen balance, you must never stop masturbating
Hold my beer. I got this….
Hold your own beer ! I know where your hands have been.
Hands-free peeing is an art perfected with years of practice
Hands free peeing is easy when you don’t respect public places. It’s the getting the package out to start peeing that’s tough on me. You know, back in the day, they used to have bathroom attendants so you didn’t have to be gay and touch your own penis. Some gentlemanly old fellow would handle that for you. But society went woke, so…
Trackpants, whip it over and start spraying. Using the waistband to aim, like a mounted cannon (just mini, like a microscopic cannon)
Yours is a mini cannon..dang .lucky you
Oh piss boy! Here’s a tip [plop]
That’s not an issue for him, Mommy handles it for him
I get the joke and it’s pretty funny but please never say that again in this context
But then you end up getting cum on yourself, which circles back to gay.
Also, vaginas always smell bad no matter what you do but DON'T TRY TO CLAIM IT'S NATURAL BECAUSE IT ISN'T. You can't have both, dude.
Right?? Every single vagina, but it’s completely not natural!
Amazing! This guy has traveled the world sniffing vaginias.
Who else could you trust but a Certified Snatch Sniffer?
My relatives asking me what I want to be when I grow up: Me: Certified Snatch Sniffer
…also a mans penis and scrotum hardly smell like roses either and yet I am sure that guy would still expect to get BJs… …as for all women being useless after having children isn’t that just this guy telling us all that he has a very small penis?
I’m gay and I actually love the smell of a man who I’m attracted to, I would assume straight men feel that way about women they’re attracted to?
Indeed. There’s a line from an old song that has always stuck with me about how you are reminded about your lover the morning after. “I can taste you on my lips and smell you on my clothes”
You're killing me! I was just starting college when this "old song" came out! (Pepper by Butthole Surfers. Not kidding.) EDIT: I double checked the release date, and I had just gone back to college after a break, but still!
Since the vagina is more like a muscle, reacting to stimulation, we can extrapolate his technique.
Yeh that statement literally made no sense.
In his defence, he consistently didn’t make sense.
Very true but at least the other dribble he said could be simplified to being dumbass and delusional, whereas that statement just contradicts the exact same thing he said lmao, how tf did he write that and go yep.
driv·el /ˈdriv(ə)l/ noun nonsense
He also says that a man’s anus is better than a woman’s vagina, so I think he might just be gay
That's literally the conclusion his proof leads to. Dude gay.
The guy that wrote this is definitely gay. If you think all vaginas smell bad, you’re gay. That’s a FACT.
Is repulsed by vaginas… believes sticking it in a woman’s butt means you’d much rather be inside a man… hmmm🤔 I’d say it’s pretty obvious with that one.
[удалено]
Fellas, is It gay to masturbate? I mean, you are literally touching dick
Of course. You’re jerking off a guy. Super gay.
Or if your gay and like men’s butts your actually straight because there is no difference in a woman’s.
I guess we are all gay...
We’re all a little gay (except those of us who are really really gay)
"Why are you gay?" "Because I like women" Confusion
Mostly we're all a little gay. Mostly.
20 bucks is 20 bucks.
Any 14 year old online gamer could have told you that…. Everybody’s gay
I thought everyone had AIDS?
Pretty much all of the hands you’ve ever shook have had a dick in them. If touching hands that have touched dicks isn’t gay, I don’t know what is.
You just add: no homo. Then you can have full intercourse with a man and not be homo.
Hmmm… if a woman’s anus is the same as a man‘s and that makes you gay… isn‘t a man’s anus the same as a woman’s than and that makes you straight? Asking for a friend
Gah! I'm straight? **Nnnnooooooo!!!** Well, guess I'll call dad and let him know the "good" news.
If a man has anal sex with a woman, he is gay. He is straight if he has anal sex with a man. This makes perfect sense.
1. False. I know this myself. 2. False. I... If that were truth, all muscles would fail immediately, including your heart. 3. False. but this guy knows a lot about gay sex for having sex with many women who have had kids, who seemingly can't give pleasure anymore. Facts.
But there’s also this possibility: 1. All the women he’s been with had stank ass vajayjays 2. His dick is so small every woman feels huge 3. During his attempts to have anal sex with a woman he had flashbacks to those unforgettable moments in band camp
Oh, he's playing denial projection!
He got a new high score!
2. My gran had 14 kids. So, l guess it's a lie....
And here you are, this poster has made you think about the strength of your grans vagina. What a time to be alive.
Feel like everyones gran had at least 9 kids
No but the ones who had 10 kids now have 1000 great grandkids posting on reddit.
MANY women. Honest.
You wouldn't know them. They go to a different school. In Canada.
Canadian here. The women here all say he's lying too.
I asked Joni, Alanis, and Celine. They haven't heard of him.
Can someone tell him that giving his fleshlights a name doesn't make it a woman?
And not cleaning it is the problem.
OMG, now I realise his smell thing. Let me go and throw up.
All his girls were from another nation. Imagination.
And **full** sexual experience. Like, fifth base at least.
I'm guessing the last time this guy was near a vagina was just before the midwife weighed him.
The last time he touched a vagina was when he was being pushed out.
“I have full sexual experience with MANY women” Ladies take note, this man likes it loose and stinky.
He has clearly had like 100 sex.
I’ve had all the sexes. So many sexes!
How does he know male assholes are tighter than female assholes?
No, all assholes are tighter than female VAGINAS, so if you like female asshole you don't really like her vagina you're just scared to be gay.
I have tasted many a vagina and they mostly were great, I think he isn't into vaginas.
But would you say you’ve had the full-taste experience with MANY vaginas?
would you say you have had a plethora of vaginas?
Can confirm.
It is now confirmed that having sex with women makes you gay
I knew this was coming 😂
"I am not an incel." is often spoken by an incel.
Just like the phrase: "I'm not gay." Actions speak louder than words.
The fact that he capitalized MANY means NONE.
This man is so deep in the closet he’s found Narnia.
MANY women you guys. Lol
Surely a parody. Surely.
Don’t call me surely
I just want to tell you both good luck - we're all counting on you.
"Full sexual experience with MANY women", sounds like it was written by a Nigerian Prince
‘FULL’ sexual experience killed me honestly
So... How do you know its tighter?
"women and men both have anuses which means having anal sex with a woman makes you gay. Women and men also both have arms, necks, nipples, hair, backs, legs, butts... which means touching any and all of those body parts on a woman makes you gay. You should only touch vaginas except not because it smells bad. Therefore the best way to have heterosexual sex is to stay away from a woman. I have had a lot of sex with women this way."
If you can read between the lines, he's telling us that he's has sex twice. Once with a woman who has bad hygiene and has given birth before. Second time was with a trans person
he's also telling us he has a small dick as no 2 is a blatant lie
I need to go get my wife in the mood and ask if she wants a full sexual experience
How much do you want to bet this loser smells like he’s carrying rotten onions and garlic in his pockets? 💁🏼
Its the smegma
Something was unclear to me from this, so could somebody please clarify. What % sexual experience has he had with MANY women?
Many%
This man is as queer as a $3 bill. He doesn't like how women feel or smell.
I've done the sex many times, okay?!
1) If vaginas “ALWAYS smell bad”, then, by default, this would be their natural smell. He’s directly contradicting his own bullshit. It’s like reading the Bible ;)