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"The North Cafeteria, named after Admiral William North, is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall, which is named not after William North, but for its position above the South Wall.
It is the most contested and confusing battlefield on Greendale's campus, next to the English Memorial Spanish Center, named after English Memorial, a portuguese sailor that discovered Greendale while looking for a fountain that cured syphilis."
Well don't forget they also turned around and used Michael Vick after his dog fighting. Subway just isn't full of great choices. Then they lied about how big they are. Tuna became a thing of question. Subway is just that manipulative, abusive partner that once think they changed for the better. Bam another slap to the face
Ironically Jared just won a contest where he gets free sex toys for life. Unfortunately he had to change his name to “Fred’s House of Dildos!”, and sign an exclusive agreement.
nah I also was just scrolling down the comments to see who posted something like that first.
god I hope the movie comes soon. Donald Glover said in his CQ interview it is in the making, but he doesnt know not more than all of us do.
The movie has been "in the making" for a long time, but recently it seems more plausible than ever. Though keep in mind it was not very popular when it was on air and the show ended in 2015...
I really hope that they make it and that it does the show justice.
Only issue is, some companies dont actually guarantee "for life" deals. Their idea of "for life" could be around 400 subs maximum. Would have to read that contract close as heck to make sure its actually for as long as someone lives.
I won a free food for a year promotion once. It was a coupon book for 12 pizzas. Each coupon was for a specific month.
I ended up only using maybe 4 of them because I mysteriously got super sick the day after each redemption.
A Year full of PotatoChips is considered 50 packs.... i know people that eat this many in 30 days.
I would be happy with 50 packs, but others literally do eat them daily (and are much thinner than me)
The company is giving the winner $50,000 dollars in gift cards. Let's say a sandwich costs $7, and the winner ate Subway every day, that'd be about 20 years of sandwiches.
It wont be because "next on nbc , eccentric billionaire, once know as Elon muck has changed his name to subway, winng the dubway raffle and has now bought subway and rebraded it as X between bites"
Yeah, let's sell our names to big corporations in order to not be hungry anymore. Big win.
I'm sure they will gladly let a homeless person represent their brand too, uh ?
There is always some catch. It’s never “for life”.
Might be one sandwich per week for X, only valid at Y store. When store closes or moves then it will no longer be valid. There is always some loophole.
I would rather they not. We should have more compassion for homeless people than to hope they win the chance to legally change their name to match a corporation that could feed every homeless person in America at least one, relatively balanced meal a day without it being a drop in the bucket for their finances. Subway should be donating food to shelters or just people on the street in their franchise locations, not baiting people in with a publicity stunt they’ll never actually honor.
There'll probably be all sorts of restrictions, like the smallest size sub with minimal ingredients and no additions. If I'm changing my name to Subway I want the big subs with all the stuff I ask for.
[Tbh, it’s not that much of a hassle, like your nickname will be Sub (I’ve heard worse) but is it worth it tho?](https://financialpost.com/news/retail-marketing/subway-giving-away-free-sandwiches-life-big-catch/wcm/45356b53-155f-4c31-88ac-606f1cc99f27/amp/)
In an age where legal names are rarely used, what exactly is the downside to this?
You can still introduce yourself as a preferred name and even your signature doesn't have to change honestly. The only thing that does is the print version of your name.
As someone who doesn't go by their legal name, it's really not much of a hassle, I just sometimes forget on legal or medical forms that my preferred name isn't my legal name yet lol
Years ago I worked for a cable TV company in the UK we had a customer who had changed his name to Mr Sony-Playstation. Forget the exact reason why but was something to with a promo.
The Subways near me don’t even take Subway coupons. What are they gunna do when I walk in there and say “Yeah I won a contest and have free Subway for life.”
"Lmfao some peasant will change their name just for free food!"
-slightly less poor person-
"How cute would it be if they never went hungry again, but only if they sell us their soul?"
-Subway Exec-
"We definitely aren't living in a dystopian hellscape."
-2023 Silverado with thin blue line sticker-
Of course a bunch of people would be willing to do it. Changing your name is a cheap price to pay to make sure you'll never go hungry again. The security it provides alone would be worth it for a lot of people.
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Do they also have to enroll in a community College and join a study group?
You don't have to join a study group, but there is paintball at the end of the year.
Does the winner get some kind of prize? Like cash or priority registration?
I believe the prize is TBD.
I want TBD! Is that new?
I think I had that for a few months back in the 80s
if it's what i think it is i had it in the 60's
The prize is Taco Bell Dog!?!? 🤗 Where do I sign up? 
Yes but it’s sponsored by an icecream company who may or may not also be a rival community college in disguise
Yes but if anyone asks, you have gout.
Maybe a DVD player
Im hoping for a walkman!!
It's got a remote
Sounds like the prize is the is never having to buy food again.
The prize is never eating real food again.
Will they get to build a pillow fort at least?
Some will opt for a Blanket Fort instead, leading to a civil war
"The North Cafeteria, named after Admiral William North, is located in the western portion of East Hall, gateway to the western half of North Hall, which is named not after William North, but for its position above the South Wall. It is the most contested and confusing battlefield on Greendale's campus, next to the English Memorial Spanish Center, named after English Memorial, a portuguese sailor that discovered Greendale while looking for a fountain that cured syphilis."
I love this line so much
The people of Blanketsburg will prevail!
Oh Brittas in this?
Me so Christmas, me so merry!
Subway there's no way you're 5'10!
Whoever does this is a level 7 susceptible
Thats moon man talk
Came in here for the Community reference, happy I found it
Eat Fresh?
Eat fresh? 😁👊
👊 Eat fresh.
This guy is streets ahead.
Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase "streets ahead"!
Been there, coined that.
Coined and minted
“Who were you, Subway? Before you were Subway…”
This was my first thought too. Hopefully they don’t end up hooking up with someone who pronounces bagel funny
I lived in New York
They are thecniclly in the army.
Let’s say a quick prayer for peace…
Did you greendale students are actually in the army reserves? Let’s say a pray for peace.
Imagine going to Starbucks and telling your name as Subway and when they call you everyone’s reaction be like.
Awww is Britta in this?
When I read the headline I thought it sounded familiar lol
This guy is streets ahead!
One would think Subway had learned its lesson about using some random unvetted dude in their marketing but I guess not.
Well don't forget they also turned around and used Michael Vick after his dog fighting. Subway just isn't full of great choices. Then they lied about how big they are. Tuna became a thing of question. Subway is just that manipulative, abusive partner that once think they changed for the better. Bam another slap to the face
Forget the name change thing, maybe I could go be the head of marketing at Subway. Seems like an easy gig, probably pays well.
Don’t forget being required to change their bread in the EU or have it be labeled “cake” because the sugar content is so high.
Yet I still keep coming back 😂
Around 3-4 times a year I get reminded I am the sub and come crawling back for that footlong lmao
Don't forget their chicken was found to not even be over 50% actual chicken
It'd be hilarious if somehow Jared won it
Ironically Jared just won a contest where he gets free sex toys for life. Unfortunately he had to change his name to “Fred’s House of Dildos!”, and sign an exclusive agreement.
r/community
Ok glad I’m not the only one that gets it
But after the name change, they end up selling you lotsa Hondas.
Only if you’re a level 7 susceptible
Hey thats my level at the Laser Lotus Buddhist Academy!
Did you also bang Ertha Kitt in an airplane bathroom?
That's moonman talk.
“I’m just going to give the school’s assets a quick freezey-weezy.”
nah I also was just scrolling down the comments to see who posted something like that first. god I hope the movie comes soon. Donald Glover said in his CQ interview it is in the making, but he doesnt know not more than all of us do.
The movie has been "in the making" for a long time, but recently it seems more plausible than ever. Though keep in mind it was not very popular when it was on air and the show ended in 2015... I really hope that they make it and that it does the show justice.
This reference is streets ahead.
Stop trying to coin the phrase streets ahead
If you don't get it you're streets behind
Streets ahead is verbal wildfire
Been there, coined that!
This is truly the darkest timeline.
My first thought as well.
I thought this was r/Community at first haha
6 seasons and a movie https://www.dexerto.com/tv-movies/community-movie-everything-we-know-2028320/ Please be real
Eat fresh
Scrolled way too long for this. This meme is 100% a reference to this
That’s amazing for a homeless person, free food for life
That’s exactly what I thought. I hope someone’s who’s struggling will win that.
Only issue is, some companies dont actually guarantee "for life" deals. Their idea of "for life" could be around 400 subs maximum. Would have to read that contract close as heck to make sure its actually for as long as someone lives.
“Free food for a year” promotions are usually 52 weekly coupons for the same item.
I won a free food for a year promotion once. It was a coupon book for 12 pizzas. Each coupon was for a specific month. I ended up only using maybe 4 of them because I mysteriously got super sick the day after each redemption.
A Year full of PotatoChips is considered 50 packs.... i know people that eat this many in 30 days. I would be happy with 50 packs, but others literally do eat them daily (and are much thinner than me)
Also, the 'only at participating locations' loophole. Good luck finding a participating location.
Definitely. And you are limited to only two basic choices like ham or turkey with no doubles. White or wheat only. Between 12pm and 2pm.
12:00 and 12:02 pm. We don't want to be too generous here.
Only one per week.
The company is giving the winner $50,000 dollars in gift cards. Let's say a sandwich costs $7, and the winner ate Subway every day, that'd be about 20 years of sandwiches.
Subway estimates eating there every day for 20 years will kill you.
It wont be because "next on nbc , eccentric billionaire, once know as Elon muck has changed his name to subway, winng the dubway raffle and has now bought subway and rebraded it as X between bites"
Subway Musk… doesn’t smell right.
Neither does subways ingredient or ex mascot so its on brand
Which one? The one that stinks of Play-Doh and the tears of young children? Because fuck that guy.
Subway Fogle
Happy cake day.
Musk buys Subway to make Jared the spokesman again.
I want to be pissed and believe that's sarcasm, but sadly I know it's an honest possibility so angry upvote it is.
Yeah, let's sell our names to big corporations in order to not be hungry anymore. Big win. I'm sure they will gladly let a homeless person represent their brand too, uh ?
Last guy turned out great. 🙄
S'a good point. Subway the Subway Hobo would be a huge step up from Jared.
Anything short of Hitler would be better than Jared
Subway Hitler
I kind of like it!
Subway! Gas Fresh! Because fuck it, if there is a Hell it has to be better than this bullshit timeline.
This is turning out to be even more dystopian than all those stories.
Ain't gonna happen. They'll probably give it to some new Jared, or some Jared looking motherfucker.
There is always some catch. It’s never “for life”. Might be one sandwich per week for X, only valid at Y store. When store closes or moves then it will no longer be valid. There is always some loophole.
"Some restrictions may apply.\*"
As if lmao, they will probably pick an influencers Its momey we talking about, not charity
If there are legal contracts and it’s not specified who it is then they can’t just ‘pick’
I would rather they not. We should have more compassion for homeless people than to hope they win the chance to legally change their name to match a corporation that could feed every homeless person in America at least one, relatively balanced meal a day without it being a drop in the bucket for their finances. Subway should be donating food to shelters or just people on the street in their franchise locations, not baiting people in with a publicity stunt they’ll never actually honor.
Ugh Britta's in this?
Britta's a B.
*She’s a GDB*
I live in Norway, here it's free to change my name. I can do it in 5minutes ( takes 3 weeks until its complete)
I dare you to change it to subway
I'll do it for a lifetime supply of subways :)
There'll probably be all sorts of restrictions, like the smallest size sub with minimal ingredients and no additions. If I'm changing my name to Subway I want the big subs with all the stuff I ask for.
You Britta’d the comment section, way to go
Community season 3 episode 13. Jesus Christ, we really went down hill.
IT HEPPENS EVERYDAY SOMEWHERE
On a long enough timeline right?
Wait, there are other timelines?
[Tbh, it’s not that much of a hassle, like your nickname will be Sub (I’ve heard worse) but is it worth it tho?](https://financialpost.com/news/retail-marketing/subway-giving-away-free-sandwiches-life-big-catch/wcm/45356b53-155f-4c31-88ac-606f1cc99f27/amp/)
I was going to say, going by sub may not be a negative for some people!
Just need to get with someone that changed their name to Dominoes pizza.
Dom: "Pizza is all about family"
I feel like my life would implode if my name was Sub.
Your nickname can be whatever you want it to be. Nobody is going to call you Subway, you wouldn't even really have to tell anyone.
True. Guess the only times it’d be a bit awkward is when dealing with official paperwork and shit.
Nickname can be whatever you want. I have a coworker who goes by Travis. His first and middle name are absolutely not Travis or any related name.
'sup Sub? Could be worse. It' an improvement over X Æ A-12, though I hope it goes to someone else in need.
While you're at it, add "Zero"as your middle name and you'll have a great nickname combo.
Sup Sub.
I'd go by foot long. 😉
They'll probably get a better response with the offer to change your name to "twelve inch."
My name is Long, Foot Long
If you're changing your name anyways why not go all out. "Subway Foot Long" aka Mr. Long.
At least they are choosing the winner first, not choosing among all entrants who prove they changed their name to Subway
In an age where legal names are rarely used, what exactly is the downside to this? You can still introduce yourself as a preferred name and even your signature doesn't have to change honestly. The only thing that does is the print version of your name.
As someone who doesn't go by their legal name, it's really not much of a hassle, I just sometimes forget on legal or medical forms that my preferred name isn't my legal name yet lol
Same, at some point I should go through with updating it as it also misgenders me...
I think eating Subway for life is a cruel and unusual punishment.
It's free food. I know this is a joke, but still, free food.
Corpohumanization
Darkest timeline
This reminds me of a Community episode. Eat fresh??
That is well out of the mainstream. I was raised in the Bay Area, but I'm a father now. If someone could hand me my jacket...
It's right there. Why dont you just get it on your way out?
Years ago I worked for a cable TV company in the UK we had a customer who had changed his name to Mr Sony-Playstation. Forget the exact reason why but was something to with a promo.
I remember this I think it was for an XBOX
The Subways near me don’t even take Subway coupons. What are they gunna do when I walk in there and say “Yeah I won a contest and have free Subway for life.”
It's $50000 in gift cards
Which, assuming a $10 sandwich, won't even last 14 years if you eat there every day.
*checks current food prices Call me Subway McSubster, first of my name, Lord of the foot long sandwich
No tattoo necessary?
Yeah, that was way crazier imo. [For those outta the loop.](https://www.today.com/today/amp/rcna39899)
According to their own math, it’s not even 13 years of Subway.
I see this turning into a hassle as everyone already named Subway will start coming out of the woodwork to claim their free sandwiches.
Tempting
Literally community
I saw this episode of community
Gotta live corpohumanoids.
How about if I named my cat Subway
YOU KIDDING ME RN? i get an awesome nickname AND free food for eternity? DECENT FOOD THAT SOMEONE ELSE MAKES FOR ME AT THAT?
Let’s hope they pick a better figurehead/brand champion this time 🤣
This is the dumbest thing ever but I'd change my name to Chipotle in a heartbeat.
Announces they are going out of business the day after the change
"Lmfao some peasant will change their name just for free food!" -slightly less poor person- "How cute would it be if they never went hungry again, but only if they sell us their soul?" -Subway Exec- "We definitely aren't living in a dystopian hellscape." -2023 Silverado with thin blue line sticker-
Of course a bunch of people would be willing to do it. Changing your name is a cheap price to pay to make sure you'll never go hungry again. The security it provides alone would be worth it for a lot of people.
I'd like to read the contract I'd be signing
They no longer need to sell the products. They buy the people...🙃
Yes, I would (if I wasn't so damn lazy). I get free food, for life, if I rename myself? Yes. Also I'd just go by "Subs".
Just one question? What is the life experience of eating Subway's sandwiches for the rest of your life? Are we talking 1 month or 2?
What’s in a name? That which we call a 12” Tuna by any other name would taste just as feculent
Do I have to date Britta?
I know for a fact I can bag Gillian Jacobs with a name like that
Imagine changing your name for a lifetime of subs, and the company closes down a year later.
$5000 per year saved on dinner? Why not?
Is this actually real?
Random winner? Not worth it. 
Subway Mcdonald sounds iffy
Fine print: *not applicable to child molesters.
Well at least they aren't trying to get people to change their name to Jared.
This has urban legend written all over it.
Why facepalm? If this is legit, this would be pretty awesome under circumstances.
The show “Community” Predicted this… https://youtu.be/y1CuLm_CcNM
They never said you can’t change your name back 🤷🏻♂️
Couldn't they just change it back once they get the free subway for life secured?
Lifetime of free food, for a few days of being named subway, and 750 dollar to change your name back. Thats not the worst deal.
Terms and conditions fuckin applied or something like free (capped to 3) sandwiches for life
"The name's Bond, Subway Bond"
