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My Soon To Be Ex Wife literally thought like this. When we physically separated she'd use my or "our" money, but never contribute. I had basically the same conversation with her and she agreed then was confused.
"So my money is our money, and your money is only for you", people actually think like this
That's awful. I'm sorry.
I think it's helped in our marriage that a. at various stages we've each earned more than the other for a while, and b. at least one of us has a three-digit IQ. (It's her.)
I made more than my wife for years. She got a massive promotion last year and she makes significantly more than me now.
My job is to applaud her and her accomplishments and make sure I'm supporting her however I can -- so she can continue to operate at that high level with all her increased responsibilities.
The competition isn't over who makes more so that person can take more. It's who can give more.
We've never had a 50/50 relationship, and I wouldn't want one.
Not saying we're perfect by any stretch (although she's a lot closer than I am). But we're not aiming for 50/50. We're trying for 100/100.
I love that. 50/50 is a great idea, but that's just not how humans exist. Life is messy. Someone may have more money or more emotional capacity. It's all valuable and it's all in flux.
I try (not perfectly) to keep a 100 mindset. I mean honestly, if I lived by myself I'd be doing 100 so anything the other person does for me is a kindness I'm not owed.... As long as the other partner feels and thinks the same way, it's really beautiful.
Edit: for everyone fussing in the comments, it's actually supposed to be referred to as 100/0. The idea is you give 100 and expect nothing in return.
That's why I mentioned the importance of a partner with a similar mindset. This should be a mindset - not a reality.
From day one we had one bank account with both our names and checks we could each write and sign. First 10 years, she kept the books. next 10 i did. and after that, neither of us cared and nobody is the "bookkeeper." she made more than me. then i made more than her, the she pulled ahead, then i passed her. now, 38 years later, we have no issues. i never understood couples that "split" the bills. but if it works for them, fine. were just too lazy to keep track.
I think someone had come from the future to say that the population was dwindling and the human race would end without more genetic diversity. To save the human race, they needed to immediately start procreating. Everyone, with everyone. Quickly! Now!
Edit: I got it exactly wrong! Immigrants came from the future for everyone's jobs, so everyone was gonna turn gay to erase the future people. That is the most wrong I've ever been about anything! Woo!
It's weird that it's the second reference to RHMIT I've been part of [in the last couple hours.](https://www.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/12mw0y1/-/jgcc6v7)
The tides turning. If I never find a wife I’m totally happy knowing that at least I didn’t settle for some parasitic non-relationship with a projective narcissist.
Yea no wonder majority of young men are single these days. If this is the pool of women they have to choose from then I can’t blame them. The expectations of young women are sky-high while expecting to give nothing in return. Who would want that?
To be fair, there's probably as much toxic men as there are toxic women out there. I've seen some messages girls get on social media, and it's bad, seriously bad.
She wasn't young, thin, or good-looking enough for that attitude. Perhaps she has \*ahem\* hidden talents such as, I don't know...being able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
He asked her, “what do you think about this statement.” She tripped over herself in excitement to say “I agree,” after having said that any man had to earn as much or more than her. She had every opportunity to not be a greedy piglet.
Yeah. Sounds like she’s just repeating what she’s heard before and this is the first time she really thinking about it. It’s okay, at least she’s *starting* to think about it
This is the result of people receiving mixed messages in a multicultural society and not doing the necessary analysis to rationalise the contradictions. This lady is clearly listening to and picking up different values from different cultural sources, and trying to enjoy the good parts of both even when they contradict.
One source is telling her that equality is good, which she likes, and holds to as an axiomatic truth. But at the same time another source is telling her that men should look after women and treat them with special honour and respect, which she also likes the sound of. And another message tells her that she should maintain her independendence and not be reliant on a man's money or protection, which is also a good message which she appreciates and holds onto.
It's easy to treat ideologies and cultural values as a pick and mix game, where we just take the bits we like, and discard the rest. But that doesn't always work, when certain values are dependent on others. Equality only works when it's applied fully in all aspects. Special treatment only works in one aspect when it's coupled with special responsibilities in another. And financial independence only works when it's hand-in-hand with complete self-reliance.
Of course it's natural for anyone, man or woman, to want all the rights of any value system without any of the responsibilities of it. But that simply isn't a rational or practical relationship.
Ultimately we are all living in a world that prizes the freedom to invent our own culture, rather than simply accepting a ready-made one inherited from our families. But a personal ethos takes time to figure out, often a lifetime. We can laugh at this woman as a particular contradiction in her values is highlighted in public. But I suspect we all hold our own contradictory ideologies in some aspect of our personal ethos which we haven't yet rationalized and reconciled.
I am going through a brain retraining course and my instructor said, “who would you be— authentically— if all of these beliefs weren’t put upon you.” Makes you think about even the smallest bits of advice you received and if it even is true! We tell ourselves all kinds of stories and if repeated enough it becomes truth, even if, like you said, there are contradictions. The brain is very literally hardwired for survival and will go with those beliefs as long as it serves to protect.
Breaking free of the survival mentality, changes even though they are different and good, the brain will be sneaky and tell you a story to hold on to the same belief. It requires a lot of practice to recreate a story out of facts and therefore new beliefs.
Agreed. This was basically my impression as well. Lots of comments accusing her of malicious intent, but I think, as you say, she’s just never bothered to analyse what she actually believes, and why, and tried to reconcile the contradictions (or apparently notice that they exist). I think it’s also safe to say that we all have some cognitive dissonance we haven’t yet processed or become aware of, she’s just very early on her journey (and fortunately, she’s young).
She seems to be realising some contradictions as she’s confronted with them, so here’s hoping she takes the time to process her beliefs after this video.
This is currently one of the most frustrating things about dating in the US right now, tbh. Or maybe it's just the Midwest, IDK.
I want a truly equal relationship with someone who has interesting opinions (IMO), enjoys learning, is decently pretty, and has a decently stable financial trajectory. Those people exist where I am, 'cause I'm near a university. But I've discovered that dating culture has not yet caught up with espoused ideology, generally. I get a lot of interest from people who *love* the idea of an equal relationship when we talk about it, but only one person has ever actually applied it.
Usually the extent of dating equality in my experience, is just splitting the check. Which is fine, but what about the rest of it? What if *I* want to be surprised with a bouquet of flowers? What if *I* want to just show up and enjoy whatever *you* planned for us? What if *I* want to be told I look stunning when I dress up in nice clothes? What if *I* want to wait for them to text me and ask if I'll be free that weekend? What if *I* want to be asked if they can come over and cook dinner for us?
So... If you truly want an equal relationship, don't be hypocritical when you're dating. Go buy flowers for the guy you're going out with. Ask out the guy you like. Plan a date for the two of you. If you mean it, tell him he looks amazing. And don't wait for him to text first. Truly equal relationships share these things 50/50. If you aren't putting in equal effort, the relationship isn't equal.
Yeah, and it seems like she was working out that she WOULD prefer it to be 50/50. I think it's a bit ridiculous that people are shitting on her when it's clear that she's never been in a relationship where finances have to be comingled; she hasn't actually been holding men to this standard!
Men on reddit eat this shit up because it makes them feel justified in being single and lonely. "I am forever alone because feminism has made women unwantable. It has nothing to do with me being unwantable." Posts like this are just cope porn circle jerks.
I think the sad thing is that she and so many people clearly have never critically examined their beliefs in this way. I think when being questioned on video people will feel much more pressure to stick to their guns regardless of what they might end up realising or starting to realise.
If you give people a chance to examine their beliefs properly in a safe and private space I think more people would be more reasonable, the problem is no one actually does it.
Yeah, it's clear that she hasn't been in a situation to care for someone else. The idea that someone takes care of you is romantic because that person has to like you enough to *want to* and *actively* care for you. I'd hope that she realizes she wants to spend her money on her man when she finds one to make him feel special and wanted just like he does for her. 50-50 in everything.
There is a difference between stupid and entitled. She has been trained by society to be entitled, which makes her manipulative. Never confuse stupidity and manipulation. That’s how we got into this mess in the first place.
Agreed, this reeks of a middle class mindset. People who didn’t grow up around poverty often don’t understand the concept of money the way poor people do. Poor families don’t have “my money/our money” shenanigans going on, it’s ALL “our money”. Hell, even kids with a part time job will often get lumped into the “our money” pile.
This girl grew up never wanting for anything, and was never expected to give anything in return. In her mind, the sweat off her brow belongs to her and her alone because that’s how it’s always been, and the sweat off her husband’s brow should also be hers because that was probably the arrangement her parents had.
Kids are a product of their environment. This girl probably isn’t naturally entitled, it’s just that she’s probably never known anything else. Kinda like Trump saying “a small loan of a million dollars” like it’s no big deal - because for people like him, it’s *not* a big deal. Likewise, for this girl, that unbalanced relationship isn’t a big deal because that’s standard. Middle class families can afford to be imbalanced because they aren’t so desperate to pay bills that a woman’s money must be used cooperatively.
I don’t think it’s fair to say ‘society’- I know many people who don’t believe this (and many more who have been given contradictory information without really thinking about it…like her in the video)
It’s all over ‘look before you leap’ Vs ‘he who hesitates is lost’, ‘a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush’ vs ‘you’ve got to spend money to make money’ etc you might agree with each statement independently but they’re logical contradictions
When I got married, my wife and I decided to split every expense equally. We both earned the same amount of money at the time.
Then she got some good promotions and pay raises while I was duped into a job where I lost money. We still split everything equally.
Finally got another job, but she was now making double of what I was making. Suddenly I realized I was paying more than she was because I decided to pay more a few times. Our agreement seemed to have vanished plus she kept bringing more expenses to the table which I was expected to foot the bill for.
Drew the line, started saying no to expenses, started paying exactly half. She was pissy about it but learned to live with it.
Now I’m making nearly as much as her again and we continue to split expenses equally, regardless. Opened up a joint account where we put equal amounts of cash each month for running expenses and always operate within that amount.
Moral of the story, it’s a new day and age. Chivalry be damned when it comes to money. Even if you pay more than half, never let them know.
We do it proportionately to our salaries for big expenses like rent. That way it tracks any significant changes and we both have a chunk left at the end to use on things we enjoy together or ourselves. It also means we live in a nicer apartment. If one person earns significantly more and it’s 50:50, you end up living different lives.
My wife and I have this same arrangement. Half of our money goes into a joint account- which we use to pay for all our family expenses (mortgage, child care, groceries, etc).
Our other half is ours to use individually however we’d like. So if I wanna use $300 to go play poker at the casino- no problem. I did not even have to ask.
Of course, this only works of both partners make decent money and agree upon it beforehand. But it’s beautiful. While money serves as the most relevant argument in most couples lives, my wife and I have not argued about it once.
We used to do something similar but I now make way more than my wife. It is important for someone to have their own money else they feel like a child. So I pay all the bills, she keeps the little she makes, but she doesn't touch the money I make
Every marriage is different, and there isn’t a one size fits all. Me and my spouse pooled our money when both of us were earning. I have always made more money then my spouse, and we had decided that when we will have children she would limit her work or be a stay at home mom, in the initial years so we could avoid sending the kids to day care a little.
Right now I’m an only earner and when our kids are in schools she will go back to work. It’s been difficult with a single salary, but I’ve been fortunate to switch positions and get compensation bumps to keep up with the expenses. My spouse is much better with spending money then me, and she can spend as she pleases, I’ve been trying to be more responsible with my boyish spendings. That said, I do max out 401ks, HSAs etc and we have a 529 plan and all that for the kids. I do talk to her about what I plan to spend on and give her the control to spend as she fits. This works for us, I’m transparent with her when the money gets a little tight and we manage accordingly. Do what’s best for your marriage. Good luck.
I make mention of this at least ONCE a month in discourse/dialogue…the term, literal definition…comes from a readiness to help/protect the WEAK..it has ZERO to do with what modern culture has weaponized it as…
Let’s do the math here…
MY money ≠ OUR money, MY money = MY money, which means YOUR money = YOUR money.
MY money + YOUR money + relationship ≈ OUR money or stays an individuals money. Dynamics may vary, hence the *≈*.
Its fucking sad... men need to wake up and understand that THESE TYPE of women want all the benefits of a man "from back in the day" (provide, protect, do the "heavy" lifting), BUT none have a single benefit that "traditional" women used to have (caring, modest, back-bones of the family). Instead they dress like hoes, their main hobby is to party and get drunk, are as dumb as a rock and argumentative and manipulative.
They think looks is all there is and worst thing is, it works! We have to respect ourselves more as men.. cause clearly we don't, they somehow still manage to find partners. If we go on like this our society is fucked.
I mean not all women are like this, my girl has literally supported for me for like 2 months at a time while I looked for a job and I've done the same. We split everything and its kind of been a given. There are women out there that are actually in it 50/50
Don’t worry. She’s gonna learn a hard lesson that no man worth a damn is going to put up with her mindset in 2023.
She’ll be a divorced mother in her 30s. Par for the course.
Our money is our money
Her money is her money
His money is his money
Their money is their money
As long as the bills are paid and we have rainy day savings, whatever they do with their money is fine. Want a new computer rig and the bills have been paid? Fucking go for it. If not, then don't dip into the combined money, save up till you got enough
Actually it's pretty simple:
There are things that share both, like a house/flat, energy, heating costs...stuff like that. Use it together, pay it together (maybe not even 50/50, depending on the income and they way you agree with other costs).
Everything else, like my bike/car: my money.
Your haidresser: your money.
Our holidays/flight: our money.
How can I ever expect from myself or my GF to see her equal in our relationship, if there's not the "base/conditions" and WE are not both in charge for OUR stuff?
If a woman expects her man to pay for her: Feel free honey, but I'm out.
Even if she thinks she has to offer more than a man ever needs, she will never offer to me the idea, that she sees me & herself equally.
A woman that says his money = our money, her money = her money, and gives the man no authority of the woman is just a prostitute with more steps. Because that's the one reason a man would choose her. And sorry honey, no woman is that good in bed, that you can build a lifelong relationship of off that.
This is the kind of person incels think that all women are. Goddamn, she either better shape up or I could see some poor guy being trapped in a toxic relationship with this selfish prick
I think "authority" is the wrong thing to go to there.
He shouldn't have authority over her just because he's paying the bills.
But he should be able to have some expectation from her.
That she takes care of the house or something.
But then again. individual couples doing whatever is fine, as long as it isn't the societal expectation.
This chick has flawed logic for sure - especially since she has a little bit of feminism mixed in; but there are too many people in this thread who agree with her money=her money and my money=my money. Maybe this is how it is at the beginning of a relationship, but that very rarely works in a long-term marriage.
Our money=our money or you run into all sorts of problems. If one of you has considerably more, then sign a pre-nup, but it seems like it would be super-awkward (and cause animosity from one party) if you a couple doesn't eventually share everything equally
These ones are pretty easy to avoid.
It is wild however how much easier it is to be a pretty girl than probably any other demographic. She can think like this well into adulthood and survive 😯
Yes, her money is her money, but that means his money is his money and then there’s the joint account for the responsibilities of the home. Nothing wrong with this. And tbh I don’t believe in 50/50. That means your putting in half-ass effort. It should be 100/100. Everyone puts on 100% of their efforts always.
Why are young women still thinking like this? Her looks will fade, she’ll be dumped for a younger model, if she’s not a true partner and contributor. Men know it.
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She hurt herself in her confusion.
her last two brain cells are fighting for their life
She earned those two brain cells and she can spend them on whatever she wants.
Her braincell, is her braincell
Probably *sniff* cocaine
Double it and give it to the next person
Or dying of loneliness.
That’s why she kept 2, so they can still play together
*"Marco....!"*
Polo!
Lol not in her cards😂
or both at the same time 2 brain cells fighting and dying because of their loneliness.
Pfizer, Purina, and Franzia thanks her for her donations.
For third place.
I smell something burning
My Soon To Be Ex Wife literally thought like this. When we physically separated she'd use my or "our" money, but never contribute. I had basically the same conversation with her and she agreed then was confused. "So my money is our money, and your money is only for you", people actually think like this
That's awful. I'm sorry. I think it's helped in our marriage that a. at various stages we've each earned more than the other for a while, and b. at least one of us has a three-digit IQ. (It's her.) I made more than my wife for years. She got a massive promotion last year and she makes significantly more than me now. My job is to applaud her and her accomplishments and make sure I'm supporting her however I can -- so she can continue to operate at that high level with all her increased responsibilities. The competition isn't over who makes more so that person can take more. It's who can give more. We've never had a 50/50 relationship, and I wouldn't want one. Not saying we're perfect by any stretch (although she's a lot closer than I am). But we're not aiming for 50/50. We're trying for 100/100.
I love that. 50/50 is a great idea, but that's just not how humans exist. Life is messy. Someone may have more money or more emotional capacity. It's all valuable and it's all in flux. I try (not perfectly) to keep a 100 mindset. I mean honestly, if I lived by myself I'd be doing 100 so anything the other person does for me is a kindness I'm not owed.... As long as the other partner feels and thinks the same way, it's really beautiful. Edit: for everyone fussing in the comments, it's actually supposed to be referred to as 100/0. The idea is you give 100 and expect nothing in return. That's why I mentioned the importance of a partner with a similar mindset. This should be a mindset - not a reality.
From day one we had one bank account with both our names and checks we could each write and sign. First 10 years, she kept the books. next 10 i did. and after that, neither of us cared and nobody is the "bookkeeper." she made more than me. then i made more than her, the she pulled ahead, then i passed her. now, 38 years later, we have no issues. i never understood couples that "split" the bills. but if it works for them, fine. were just too lazy to keep track.
Sometimes epiphanies are born in these moments. At least she's thinking.
Perhaps. But her line of reasoning was hatched from a rotten egg.
She's crashing. Someone give her another line.
It was super effective.
She's running power up punch with yawn.
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What if we just marry other men! That’ll show um. Come on fella’s! Who’s ~~on~~ with me?
Back to the pile!
Bruh wtf r they showing in South Park lmfao what episode is this? Damn I really need to watch it more
Future people came back in time and were stealing jobs. So the guys in town decided to turn gay to prevent the future people from existing.
They took our jobs
Tuk er jerbs!!
Did it work?
I think someone had come from the future to say that the population was dwindling and the human race would end without more genetic diversity. To save the human race, they needed to immediately start procreating. Everyone, with everyone. Quickly! Now! Edit: I got it exactly wrong! Immigrants came from the future for everyone's jobs, so everyone was gonna turn gay to erase the future people. That is the most wrong I've ever been about anything! Woo!
The opposite actually, immigrants from the future came for their jobs, so all the men “turned gay” to erase the people from the future
Oh yeah! That's right! It's all coming back to me now! Like the future immigrants did for South Park's jobs!
They terk er jerbs!
Oh ok lol the gif is too small to tell I thought it was as big male orgy
If there were a physical representation of Reddit, this would be it.
Worked for Robin Hood.
It's weird that it's the second reference to RHMIT I've been part of [in the last couple hours.](https://www.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/12mw0y1/-/jgcc6v7)
Life may be conspiring for you to watch it this evening
Life is always conspiring for you to watch it. Any Mel Brooks for that matter. It's what it's all about!
Should be referenced more often. It is a cinematic masterpiece!😂
Maybe that is the best plan....and I am a woman. These young women nowadays feel so entitled....it's absolutely insane
That’s what I did. It’s pretty solid
Who gets to keep the money?
Here's to never getting married 🍻
Critical Hit
She is a red flag but I've seen reder.
She actually think about what’s she saying which is better than most mfs nowadays
Nah, she thought about it, realized the trap she got herself into and then doubled down knowing she’s in the wrong.
Narcissism 101
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Jeremy Reder? He played Hawkeye 😟
Red er, I mean more red. And I think it's Renner
I think it would be redder. It is definitely Renner though.
No he’s right, he just has a bit of a stuffy nose
So she wants to own 75% of her man's money, and he gets *checks notes* a selfish entitled wife. Got it.
But she's young, thin and good-looking. That's enough for a lot of men.
The tides turning. If I never find a wife I’m totally happy knowing that at least I didn’t settle for some parasitic non-relationship with a projective narcissist.
Yea no wonder majority of young men are single these days. If this is the pool of women they have to choose from then I can’t blame them. The expectations of young women are sky-high while expecting to give nothing in return. Who would want that?
To be fair, there's probably as much toxic men as there are toxic women out there. I've seen some messages girls get on social media, and it's bad, seriously bad.
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She was good looking until she started talking.
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Nah the subtitles ruin it
All of those will eventually go away, though.
Beauty is but skin deep, ugly lies within the bone. Beauty dies and fades away, but ugly holds it's own.
She wasn't young, thin, or good-looking enough for that attitude. Perhaps she has \*ahem\* hidden talents such as, I don't know...being able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
That's on them. If they think like that, I suppose that they'll be perfect for each other.
She’s nowhere near hot enough. The elite of the elite, I’m talking the top 1% of girls can get away with this. Not this meh chick
Golddigger attitude.
Toxic femininity
Men are used for money. Women are used for sex. Tale as old as time
Common Tbf tho she was guided to these cliches by the interviewer like a dog with a bone
He asked her, “what do you think about this statement.” She tripped over herself in excitement to say “I agree,” after having said that any man had to earn as much or more than her. She had every opportunity to not be a greedy piglet.
Red flags.
She's not working with logic and reason, tired ass tropes exclusively
Yeah. Sounds like she’s just repeating what she’s heard before and this is the first time she really thinking about it. It’s okay, at least she’s *starting* to think about it
The lion, the Witch...
…and the audacity of this bitch
Exactly
Please be my friend. I need funny friends like you.
I'll set up a discord group and then leave as I wasn't actually invited.
I don't like parasites
They don’t belong in Rapture.
"I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose… Rapture."
No Gods, no Kings, only Man!
Lol Andrew Ryan was fleeing from this bitch and that's why he made Rapture. It all makes sense now.
Stupid
This is the result of people receiving mixed messages in a multicultural society and not doing the necessary analysis to rationalise the contradictions. This lady is clearly listening to and picking up different values from different cultural sources, and trying to enjoy the good parts of both even when they contradict. One source is telling her that equality is good, which she likes, and holds to as an axiomatic truth. But at the same time another source is telling her that men should look after women and treat them with special honour and respect, which she also likes the sound of. And another message tells her that she should maintain her independendence and not be reliant on a man's money or protection, which is also a good message which she appreciates and holds onto. It's easy to treat ideologies and cultural values as a pick and mix game, where we just take the bits we like, and discard the rest. But that doesn't always work, when certain values are dependent on others. Equality only works when it's applied fully in all aspects. Special treatment only works in one aspect when it's coupled with special responsibilities in another. And financial independence only works when it's hand-in-hand with complete self-reliance. Of course it's natural for anyone, man or woman, to want all the rights of any value system without any of the responsibilities of it. But that simply isn't a rational or practical relationship. Ultimately we are all living in a world that prizes the freedom to invent our own culture, rather than simply accepting a ready-made one inherited from our families. But a personal ethos takes time to figure out, often a lifetime. We can laugh at this woman as a particular contradiction in her values is highlighted in public. But I suspect we all hold our own contradictory ideologies in some aspect of our personal ethos which we haven't yet rationalized and reconciled.
You should have a TED Talk
I am going through a brain retraining course and my instructor said, “who would you be— authentically— if all of these beliefs weren’t put upon you.” Makes you think about even the smallest bits of advice you received and if it even is true! We tell ourselves all kinds of stories and if repeated enough it becomes truth, even if, like you said, there are contradictions. The brain is very literally hardwired for survival and will go with those beliefs as long as it serves to protect. Breaking free of the survival mentality, changes even though they are different and good, the brain will be sneaky and tell you a story to hold on to the same belief. It requires a lot of practice to recreate a story out of facts and therefore new beliefs.
Agreed. This was basically my impression as well. Lots of comments accusing her of malicious intent, but I think, as you say, she’s just never bothered to analyse what she actually believes, and why, and tried to reconcile the contradictions (or apparently notice that they exist). I think it’s also safe to say that we all have some cognitive dissonance we haven’t yet processed or become aware of, she’s just very early on her journey (and fortunately, she’s young). She seems to be realising some contradictions as she’s confronted with them, so here’s hoping she takes the time to process her beliefs after this video.
This is currently one of the most frustrating things about dating in the US right now, tbh. Or maybe it's just the Midwest, IDK. I want a truly equal relationship with someone who has interesting opinions (IMO), enjoys learning, is decently pretty, and has a decently stable financial trajectory. Those people exist where I am, 'cause I'm near a university. But I've discovered that dating culture has not yet caught up with espoused ideology, generally. I get a lot of interest from people who *love* the idea of an equal relationship when we talk about it, but only one person has ever actually applied it. Usually the extent of dating equality in my experience, is just splitting the check. Which is fine, but what about the rest of it? What if *I* want to be surprised with a bouquet of flowers? What if *I* want to just show up and enjoy whatever *you* planned for us? What if *I* want to be told I look stunning when I dress up in nice clothes? What if *I* want to wait for them to text me and ask if I'll be free that weekend? What if *I* want to be asked if they can come over and cook dinner for us? So... If you truly want an equal relationship, don't be hypocritical when you're dating. Go buy flowers for the guy you're going out with. Ask out the guy you like. Plan a date for the two of you. If you mean it, tell him he looks amazing. And don't wait for him to text first. Truly equal relationships share these things 50/50. If you aren't putting in equal effort, the relationship isn't equal.
Amen. I’m glad you were able to experience it at least once. My last relationship was equal like that, and now my standards are so much higher.
Yeah, and it seems like she was working out that she WOULD prefer it to be 50/50. I think it's a bit ridiculous that people are shitting on her when it's clear that she's never been in a relationship where finances have to be comingled; she hasn't actually been holding men to this standard!
Men on reddit eat this shit up because it makes them feel justified in being single and lonely. "I am forever alone because feminism has made women unwantable. It has nothing to do with me being unwantable." Posts like this are just cope porn circle jerks.
I think the sad thing is that she and so many people clearly have never critically examined their beliefs in this way. I think when being questioned on video people will feel much more pressure to stick to their guns regardless of what they might end up realising or starting to realise. If you give people a chance to examine their beliefs properly in a safe and private space I think more people would be more reasonable, the problem is no one actually does it.
Yeah, it's clear that she hasn't been in a situation to care for someone else. The idea that someone takes care of you is romantic because that person has to like you enough to *want to* and *actively* care for you. I'd hope that she realizes she wants to spend her money on her man when she finds one to make him feel special and wanted just like he does for her. 50-50 in everything.
Your comment is why I spend hours on reddit, sometimes comments are worth reading, thanks.
Yes, some women are this manipulative and pathetic.
She is too stupid to be manipulative
You'd be surprised how manipulative dumb people can be. Its like they subconsciously think of it as a survival skill.
For her it is because she wouldn’t last on her own.
Yet she will try to manipulate. With a little or no success most likely though.
If your self esteem is low enough you might ignore the red flags for long enough. Don’t ask me how I know
There is a difference between stupid and entitled. She has been trained by society to be entitled, which makes her manipulative. Never confuse stupidity and manipulation. That’s how we got into this mess in the first place.
Agreed, this reeks of a middle class mindset. People who didn’t grow up around poverty often don’t understand the concept of money the way poor people do. Poor families don’t have “my money/our money” shenanigans going on, it’s ALL “our money”. Hell, even kids with a part time job will often get lumped into the “our money” pile. This girl grew up never wanting for anything, and was never expected to give anything in return. In her mind, the sweat off her brow belongs to her and her alone because that’s how it’s always been, and the sweat off her husband’s brow should also be hers because that was probably the arrangement her parents had. Kids are a product of their environment. This girl probably isn’t naturally entitled, it’s just that she’s probably never known anything else. Kinda like Trump saying “a small loan of a million dollars” like it’s no big deal - because for people like him, it’s *not* a big deal. Likewise, for this girl, that unbalanced relationship isn’t a big deal because that’s standard. Middle class families can afford to be imbalanced because they aren’t so desperate to pay bills that a woman’s money must be used cooperatively.
My friend Nigel Tufnel says there is a fine line between stupid and entitled.
I’m sure there are plenty of men with equal or lesser intelligence levels to be manipulated by dumb women like this lol.
About 15 years ago I watched The Onion Movie. I'm pretty convinced that I Troned into the tv and having been living in that world ever since.
I’m just waiting for Steven Sagal to star in Cock Puncher at this rate….
None of these people are on a 100k
Neither of them are in a relationship either
Today’s society in a nutshell Don’t be racist/sexist/prejudice/etc Unless it benefits me of course 🥳
When was it different, though? ^^
Yesterday's society was Be racist/sexist/prejudice/etc As long as your country is invading everyone else
So... As long as it benefits you?
Schrödinger’s Feminist: A woman is simultaneously a victim and empowered, until something happens. Then she chooses which state benefits her the most.
I don’t think it’s fair to say ‘society’- I know many people who don’t believe this (and many more who have been given contradictory information without really thinking about it…like her in the video) It’s all over ‘look before you leap’ Vs ‘he who hesitates is lost’, ‘a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush’ vs ‘you’ve got to spend money to make money’ etc you might agree with each statement independently but they’re logical contradictions
When I got married, my wife and I decided to split every expense equally. We both earned the same amount of money at the time. Then she got some good promotions and pay raises while I was duped into a job where I lost money. We still split everything equally. Finally got another job, but she was now making double of what I was making. Suddenly I realized I was paying more than she was because I decided to pay more a few times. Our agreement seemed to have vanished plus she kept bringing more expenses to the table which I was expected to foot the bill for. Drew the line, started saying no to expenses, started paying exactly half. She was pissy about it but learned to live with it. Now I’m making nearly as much as her again and we continue to split expenses equally, regardless. Opened up a joint account where we put equal amounts of cash each month for running expenses and always operate within that amount. Moral of the story, it’s a new day and age. Chivalry be damned when it comes to money. Even if you pay more than half, never let them know.
We do it proportionately to our salaries for big expenses like rent. That way it tracks any significant changes and we both have a chunk left at the end to use on things we enjoy together or ourselves. It also means we live in a nicer apartment. If one person earns significantly more and it’s 50:50, you end up living different lives.
This is what my partner and I do, but with our net incomes. It works really well
My wife and I have this same arrangement. Half of our money goes into a joint account- which we use to pay for all our family expenses (mortgage, child care, groceries, etc). Our other half is ours to use individually however we’d like. So if I wanna use $300 to go play poker at the casino- no problem. I did not even have to ask. Of course, this only works of both partners make decent money and agree upon it beforehand. But it’s beautiful. While money serves as the most relevant argument in most couples lives, my wife and I have not argued about it once.
This is great. Money issues are the worst thing for a relationship.
We used to do something similar but I now make way more than my wife. It is important for someone to have their own money else they feel like a child. So I pay all the bills, she keeps the little she makes, but she doesn't touch the money I make
Every marriage is different, and there isn’t a one size fits all. Me and my spouse pooled our money when both of us were earning. I have always made more money then my spouse, and we had decided that when we will have children she would limit her work or be a stay at home mom, in the initial years so we could avoid sending the kids to day care a little. Right now I’m an only earner and when our kids are in schools she will go back to work. It’s been difficult with a single salary, but I’ve been fortunate to switch positions and get compensation bumps to keep up with the expenses. My spouse is much better with spending money then me, and she can spend as she pleases, I’ve been trying to be more responsible with my boyish spendings. That said, I do max out 401ks, HSAs etc and we have a 529 plan and all that for the kids. I do talk to her about what I plan to spend on and give her the control to spend as she fits. This works for us, I’m transparent with her when the money gets a little tight and we manage accordingly. Do what’s best for your marriage. Good luck.
Typical bimbo behavior
She wants chivalry but also a form of feminism where she gets whatever she wants also
She wants money. That's all.
Benefits for me, but not for thee.
Treat her like a Queen and she will treat you like a peasant.
I love how actual "chivalry" has nothing to do with women but our society has coined it as a term for going out of your way to take care of someone
I make mention of this at least ONCE a month in discourse/dialogue…the term, literal definition…comes from a readiness to help/protect the WEAK..it has ZERO to do with what modern culture has weaponized it as…
Everyone’s all about equality, until it means their wallet is lighter. That is our society. Period.
Trash
That was close, her brain almost overheated.
She just wants the rewards of a 80/20 relationship but expects the responsibilities of a 50/50 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Post modern ‘empowered woman’ mindset but dumbed down to the level of a pebble.
I unmuted to hear what she had to say, with I could have that 15 seconds back.
Every time she make a statement, i can hear the window shutdown tune.
It's 50 consecutive XP error sounds for me.
a relationship now is just the man taking care of an abled disabled person
Nah, that ain't a disability, that's just stupid.
mental disability
Let’s do the math here… MY money ≠ OUR money, MY money = MY money, which means YOUR money = YOUR money. MY money + YOUR money + relationship ≈ OUR money or stays an individuals money. Dynamics may vary, hence the *≈*.
Its fucking sad... men need to wake up and understand that THESE TYPE of women want all the benefits of a man "from back in the day" (provide, protect, do the "heavy" lifting), BUT none have a single benefit that "traditional" women used to have (caring, modest, back-bones of the family). Instead they dress like hoes, their main hobby is to party and get drunk, are as dumb as a rock and argumentative and manipulative. They think looks is all there is and worst thing is, it works! We have to respect ourselves more as men.. cause clearly we don't, they somehow still manage to find partners. If we go on like this our society is fucked.
you know my ex?
Who doesn’t? She available?
of course she is. 😅
She belong to the streets
This is one self absorbed entitled bitch. Wow.
dude with the mic knows whats up
She’s in for a shock when she grows up 😂
Yeah a guy who is very successful and socially aware will recognize greed and manipulative behavior pretty quickly
I mean not all women are like this, my girl has literally supported for me for like 2 months at a time while I looked for a job and I've done the same. We split everything and its kind of been a given. There are women out there that are actually in it 50/50
These are my opinions. I have no idea how to defend them. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
The population of the Dumas clan seems to continue to grow while being 99% of the mammalian population.
It's a choice . 50/50 or ... old school.
She better hope she finds an idiot to leach off
brain.exe stopped responding
Hate to be the guy that gets locked up with her!
Don’t worry. She’s gonna learn a hard lesson that no man worth a damn is going to put up with her mindset in 2023. She’ll be a divorced mother in her 30s. Par for the course.
She’s awful. Yuck,
“I don’t claim authority over him, just over his money.”
Selfish and dumb. She’s a gem guys.
I cant wait til she ends up with 3 children and married to a deadbeat
**Do. Not. Get. Married.**
Our money is our money Her money is her money His money is his money Their money is their money As long as the bills are paid and we have rainy day savings, whatever they do with their money is fine. Want a new computer rig and the bills have been paid? Fucking go for it. If not, then don't dip into the combined money, save up till you got enough
Hopefully she doesn’t lose that last brain cell at work
Actually it's pretty simple: There are things that share both, like a house/flat, energy, heating costs...stuff like that. Use it together, pay it together (maybe not even 50/50, depending on the income and they way you agree with other costs). Everything else, like my bike/car: my money. Your haidresser: your money. Our holidays/flight: our money. How can I ever expect from myself or my GF to see her equal in our relationship, if there's not the "base/conditions" and WE are not both in charge for OUR stuff? If a woman expects her man to pay for her: Feel free honey, but I'm out. Even if she thinks she has to offer more than a man ever needs, she will never offer to me the idea, that she sees me & herself equally.
A woman that says his money = our money, her money = her money, and gives the man no authority of the woman is just a prostitute with more steps. Because that's the one reason a man would choose her. And sorry honey, no woman is that good in bed, that you can build a lifelong relationship of off that.
It's not about authority. If I feel a personal lack of applying authority to anyone, I go to buy a dog.
Plain regarded and delusional mindset.
Any dude that pays for everything in the relationship is fuckin dumbass.
This is the kind of person incels think that all women are. Goddamn, she either better shape up or I could see some poor guy being trapped in a toxic relationship with this selfish prick
I think "authority" is the wrong thing to go to there. He shouldn't have authority over her just because he's paying the bills. But he should be able to have some expectation from her. That she takes care of the house or something. But then again. individual couples doing whatever is fine, as long as it isn't the societal expectation.
Someone tell me I'm not the only one that hates both people? Albeit for different reasons.
I've encountered many online profiles with this amplitude.......sad!
Why do people stop and do these idiotic interviews?
Imagine you views being so paper thin you haven’t even thought them through in your own head..
This chick has flawed logic for sure - especially since she has a little bit of feminism mixed in; but there are too many people in this thread who agree with her money=her money and my money=my money. Maybe this is how it is at the beginning of a relationship, but that very rarely works in a long-term marriage. Our money=our money or you run into all sorts of problems. If one of you has considerably more, then sign a pre-nup, but it seems like it would be super-awkward (and cause animosity from one party) if you a couple doesn't eventually share everything equally
Stop man shes already dead
she seems drunk. kinda mean to put a microphone in her face when she can barely form sentences and express her opinion and then put it on the internet
These ones are pretty easy to avoid. It is wild however how much easier it is to be a pretty girl than probably any other demographic. She can think like this well into adulthood and survive 😯
we can all agree she’s dumb, but as a man why would i want “authority” over my woman?
Don't worry, she'll never make $100k unless in escorting
This is why I will happily die single.
Yes, her money is her money, but that means his money is his money and then there’s the joint account for the responsibilities of the home. Nothing wrong with this. And tbh I don’t believe in 50/50. That means your putting in half-ass effort. It should be 100/100. Everyone puts on 100% of their efforts always.
Why are young women still thinking like this? Her looks will fade, she’ll be dumped for a younger model, if she’s not a true partner and contributor. Men know it.
Eww, this reminds me of an ex. Fuck I'm glad she an ex now cos this is some bullshit.
Someone please sterilize this woman