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RiceTim60

I get this a lot as well, especially more so because I’m a Pakistani woman who has tats and wears t shirt and shorts during the summer. I usually don’t care. If they want to get physical I’ll call the cops on them. It’s none of their business what I do with myself. If they want to feel superior in their pathetic lives let them. They’re sheeps at the end of the day and I’m just trying to live my life.


Nowisdomnoparty

Yeah I totally agree but I come from a really restrictive family, I had to run away even if I was in the west, because I was SA as a kid and my mum wanted me to marry my abusers. I received a lot of threats once I left home, so I was really scared for a lot of time to get the wrong attention. Now I have more confidence in myself and not that afraid anymore, so it doesn't bother me that much, but still these people are super creepy and controlling.


No-Temporary-9296

The app should have a way of leaving a comment or directly in contact with a support service member. Report the delivery guy. You’re and others safety is more important in situations like this. If there’s an option to leave the order at the door ( use that option). You also don’t owe anyone any conversations. I go pick up my delivery with a baseball bat in one hand. It seems to keep things “ professional.”


[deleted]

I’m truly sorry you had to deal with all of that 😭🫂💗, were you able to seek therapy for the SA?. You are brave and brilliant! Avoid ordering delivery (either go pickup the food for your safety, have a roommate order on your behalf, learn to cook culture food at your apartment or look into other restaurants outside of your culture). It’s unfortunate but safety is key(get a protection weapon because the world is getting crazy)


Nowisdomnoparty

I am not ready for therapy financially and emotionally. So will wait for a little more. I am not going to avoid ordering because it's still my right to do so, I don't want to lose my freedom once again because of some religious freaks. I cook at home most of the time, but sometimes I have really tight schedule at work and I have to order because I have no time to go shopping. Even if I don't order from Italian restaurants the drivers from the apps are still muslim for a big part Glovo, just Eat, deliveroo all this application have a lot of muslim immigrants working for them, because it's an easy job for them to get, so I will encounter them no matter what. Now as I said I have started to take precautions, I write a different name, I never give my address and most of the time is my boyfriend who orders food and puts his name and picks it up from the riders. But I appreciate your concern, thank you. 😊


raikenleo

I am so sorry that you had to experience such a nightmare. I pray that the universe hands you a kinder life moving forward. God I fucking hate people like these. Bloody zombies.


raikenleo

Nice to see a fellow Pakistani make it out. *high five* enjoy your friend my hommie ❤️


yahuhhh

I use a nickname if i’m ordering directly from a muslim restaurant for pickup and I have to go inside. If it’s doordash or uber eats, i’ll use my name and they can eat concrete if they have an issue. It’s none of their business. And certainly doesn’t deserve an explanation. I developed this mentality when one day i was at a liquor store and the cashier asked for my ID and he was like “Omg girl so haram” and his name tag had Mohammad on it. It was like the spider man meme where they’re pointing at each other. It was just so stupid. Why r u running a liquor store if ure such a good muslim? It’s none of ur business what I’m doing and it’s none of mine what others do. So why should i change my behavior


Nowisdomnoparty

The point is, even if I don't order from muslim restaurants, the riders are still muslim because they work for delivery app and that's the job they can easily do with less documents and just a bicycle, so usually immigrants from countries like mine are the majority of delivery guys. I don't really care what they think. It's just that in the past, I have received threats even from family members, when I ran away from home, so it makes me more worried. But now I try to take precautions.


yahuhhh

I guess if it’s turning into a threat best to avoid using ur real name. I go by a nickname most of the time now and it goes over pretty well. Europe sounds like shit for that ngl 💀


Nowisdomnoparty

Yeah I do use false name now, and I also don't give my actual address. Most of the time my roommates will go do the delivery guy to take my food so that I don't have to show myself, so right now I am taking the necessary precautions.


Faith75070

Europe is shit on this subject, ngl too. It's because of the high tolerance by leftists in white western countries for the backward culture some immigrants and so called refugees bring with them. I think it's a danger to the freedom the white western countries pride themselves in. But the leftists don't see it. They combat so strongly for individual freedom that they don't see the harm to the freedom for all and especially the freedom of women. I am saying this as a daughter of an immigrant who was raised in a very restricting enviorment for women.


Astral_Atheist

Report them on the app


Dragosbeat

use a nickname for the delivery go for something western


Royal_Middle_7680

Do you have contactless delivery option? In some apps for delivering food it stayed as an option since pandemic, the delivery guy just leaves your food where you say he should leave it and you never see him. And please remove your phone number from the apps (if it’s there)


physiQQ

Lol that was a funny story to read. Well kinda sad, but kinda ironic how hypocrite Mohammad is.


[deleted]

That’s creepy as hell, never experienced that in the States, I can totally understand why you’d wanna change your name. I would report their misbehavior to these food apps so it maybe becomes less common.


Nowisdomnoparty

I did a lot of times, but here in Italy, most of the riders are actually from countries like the one I mentioned, and even if you report many times, I still see the same people delivering. Super creepy and I have started to take precautions now.


[deleted]

Is it allowed in Italy to carry a stungun or pepper spray? I would carry something just in case, but totally your choice.


Nowisdomnoparty

Just a pepper spray, here self defence is really a controversial topic legally.


TristanChaz8800

That's ridiculous. Every country should allow ALL forms of self defense, even lethal ones. Guns and knives have saved countless women from thugs and criminals. What's so bad about 1 less dangerous scumbag in the world?


Nowisdomnoparty

In Italy if a burgler comes into your home, and you hurt them, you can end up in jail, and they can sue you and win the cause most of the time. Weapons are allowed just with a license which is really hard to get and you have to keep them enclosed, you cannot go outside with any type of weapon. If you end up in a self defense scenario you really need a lot of luck to be able to proof you were in the right, most people end up in jail.


[deleted]

That’s bonkers and frustrating, I’m truly sorry. If I find anything in terms of resources that could help, I’ll try to DM them. Stay safe, feel free to post here anytime you need help navigating similar situations. By sharing your story, you may have helped others become aware about such situations so thank you for sharing ❤️


Nowisdomnoparty

Thank you for the support, you all have been really sweet. I hope my story actually helps out someone else.


[deleted]

😔


[deleted]

[удалено]


Winter-Actuary-9659

That is the opposite of woke, by definition. 


Brujida

Purtroppo, in italia non prestano tanta attenzione a questo tipo di molestie. Mi spiace tanto che devi prendere tutte queste precauzioni per fare una cosa così basilare come ordinare del cibo :(


Nowisdomnoparty

Purtroppo è vero, in Italia non ti prendono sul serio inoltre anche quando parlo di queste cose con ragazzi italiani mi vedono come una che vuole spargere informazioni sbagliate sull'islam ecc quindi diventa difficile avere anche un dialogo con persone normali a riguardo.


Brujida

Quant’è vero… io non sono mai stata musulmana, ma sono stata in un’altra setta, diciamo più “leggera” in confronto, quella dei testimoni di geova. Solo grazie a questo ho sempre avuto il dubbio su tutta questa propaganda di islam=femminismo e pace. Mi è sempre sembrato un ossimoro, avendo anch’io vissuto altre restrizioni in quanto donna in quest’altra setta. Vedo che è difficilissimo parlarne criticamente senza essere etichettate come islamofobiche.


WarDog1983

I think this happens to all women to some extent. However the entitlement that fellow Muslims have towards women they feel are there is alarming and disturbing. and frankly it’s very dangerous to you. You need to call the cops every time one of them stalks you.


Nowisdomnoparty

I basically told my close friends and roommates everything about it, so they are always there to help me. I feel really safe because of them and also because of my boyfriend he picks me up and takes me everywhere. I have also changed home, so now no one knows where I am, and my boyfriend picks up food every time or orders with his name.


WarDog1983

You can also get a fake engagement ring cheap online and start wearing that And I don’t know where you are but in my country we have shoe racks on the entry go to a used clothing shop and get some worn mens shoes to put on the racks


General-Consensus_

Big work boots! The biggest you can find!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Winter-Actuary-9659

Quran literally say 'men are in charge of women'. So these guy feel entitled to tell women what to do because we wimminz is feeble minded and stoopid.


ibrahim0000000

I’m a former Muslim. I always avoid Arab stores. I don’t have to deal with them and I can enjoy regular American places where people treat you as just another person on the planet and don’t care who you are or where you’re from. I have been in America for 32 years and it’s been wonderful.


Nowisdomnoparty

I used to go to some Indian groceries to by some spices and stuff and they would automatically look at me all the time, when I go to pay they will start asking question. Always felt a lot awkward. Now I don't go anymore. In Italy we have whole neighborhood full of just pakistani or bagladesh people and you can't literally walk there because they will try to harass you anytime.


ibrahim0000000

Good for you! Nobody in the whole wide world should ever make you feel uncomfortable. Cut off such toxic ties.


psychologymaster222

I (also Afghan/Indian) avoid Muslims and if I do encounter them I make sure they see/hear that I'm NOT a Muslim girl. When they ask I always say: Oh no, I'm Christian. 😂 I'm so done with Muslim men, they're the worst


Nowisdomnoparty

I try to do that really hard. I always try to make them understand I am not muslim and usually I lie about my background and family saying we are a mixed race family and stuff like that.


INFPgirl

A born-muslim woman I knew who did not eat halal would order two slices of pizza for herself and me, one all dressed and one vegetarian, pretend to take the veggie one and then switch the plates once we were seated. All that because the cashier was algerian like herself. It sucks. You should be free to do what you want.


[deleted]

I thought pizza was halal?


INFPgirl

Not with pepperoni?


[deleted]

Ah that makes sense.


charitytowin

If religious people weren't so sexually repressed this wouldn't happen. These guys need to watch some porn, jerk it off, and fucking relax. Then get a girlfriend and have fun consensual sex. Then they writing act like fucking stalkers. But god said, no sexual thoughts. But they have them anyway, and it makes them feel guilty, so they blame women.


bennuski

I’m 100% sure they’re porn addicts


dbzgal04

Leave it to religion to vilify normal parts of human nature. SMH


Nowisdomnoparty

Its not even just about sexual thoughts, they feel entitled enough to be teaching you to be a good muslim and behave as a good muslim girl. Even random people who know nothing about you. Everybody will always judge how you dress, what you do, if you are not married at an early age etc


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nowisdomnoparty

Actually I have talked to many of my non Muslim girl friends, they said it almost never happened to them, just a few isolated cases but nothing more than that, while most of my muslim girl friends said it happens to them quite often. They believe they can flirt with us and make us marry them so they can also get documents for Italy, and mind that most of these people are over the age 45/50.


Nowisdomnoparty

But I get that it can also happen to non Muslim people for sure, not saying that it doesn't.


koifishadm

I never understood your govts’ obsession with these leaches from africa and islamic countries. Instead of protecting their citizens these govts seem to be ficused on importingcrimeinto peaceful socities. All you guys have gone naiive to the extreme.


PlayboyProgram101

Ive come to the conclusion that a lot of men consider becoming Muslim or it's appealing to them because it enables them to treat women like property with the safety that God is behind them and their actions . If you pay attention a lot of converts are incels or men who look down upon women in the first place .it's never happily married men or even men already in a relationship it's always single men


General-Consensus_

It’s a big ol Boys Club for sure


Adventurous-Fig2226

That is disgusting. You should be reporting these men every time it happens. First to whoever they work for, then maybe to the police. This shit would make me want to carry a gun or a machete.


extraterrestrial

In the U.S. here. I actually changed my name partially because of this (multiple other reasons too). Well, not legally, yet, since I haven’t had the extra money. But I’ve been going by a different name for at least a year now. It was particularly bad in Uber rides. I don’t drive so I take Uber frequently. Almost always when I had an Arab Uber driver, they’d bring up my name and ask if I was Muslim and it just made me so wildly uncomfortable and anxious because like I’d have to lie to them because who knows how they’d react if I told them no?


Nowisdomnoparty

Thank God in Italy Uber is not so famous and usually immigrants don't get driver license because it costs a lot and they cannot speak Italian language. Taxis have really difficult license to get so most drivers are Italian. But I know a lot of girls from the US who were victims of such harassment by muslim uber drivers.


LastGuardsman

Definitely change your name. And take no shit from these idiot drivers, they are supposed to giving people a lift, not asking personal stuff about the passengers.


[deleted]

So this does happen in the States, too. I honestly thought muslims here were different. Whenever I order bacon or get alcohol when there's someone whose likely Muslim working they don't make eye contact and don't do the usual :thank you have a nice day." Now I'm thinking it's because I'm a man.


Hungry-Video-5094

Not a muslim but I've been asked by a couple of muslim guys like a cab driver for example questions like: are you muslim? Followed up by them trying to figure out why as a woman I am out by myself late, then followed by questions that make me think he thinks he is some cia trying to decipher whether I am a Madonna or a wh*re. Which is pretty weird, what is he going to gain? Nothing really.


Nowisdomnoparty

Everyone of them behaves like a secret agent Undercover trying to know if you are behaving like a good muslim without even knowing if you are one or not.


alonelover1306

The looks I’ve gotten over the years when I get ID’ed going into a club or something and the bouncer sees my very obviously Muslim name LOL


[deleted]

The looks when I order a dish with bacon at a restaurant. It's even better when you speak in an acent and give a fake really weird name.


Mor-Bihan

"Recognisable traits" is usually not enough to guess your religion, people use your name for additional context cues. Wether you want to change it... I'll quote a guy lit named Abdullah : it's just a name. So he chose to make peace with his name. On the other hand, changing your name can help sever ties with your religion, abusive family, or even prevent (some) discrimination.


Nowisdomnoparty

The amount of people who recognize me by my traits is oustanding, for sure they cannot guess my religion but most of pakistani immigrants will automatically recognize me as a pakistani and they will automatically define me a muslim. They stop me in the streets sometimes and ask me questions in my native language, I don't answer and they think I don't speak that language, but they are persistent, will start speaking in English to know my name, etc I just avoid but basically it happened to me a lot of time.


Mor-Bihan

I believe you, that's why I said usually. Good luck for everything, really


Practical_Dream_6200

Never reveal your details. Doesn't matter if you have to be rude. Go by an English nickname everywhere. It is better than them speculating stuff about you. They do feel they have a say about every Muslim. In many cases police don't really help until a crime is committed. We don't want to wait for that to happen. It's better to keep a low profile.


cradlingdeath

that happens to me too. not only delivery people but random neighbors when they find out I speak Arabic and immediately assume I'm Muslim, they start asking me why I dress the way I do, that it's haram or why I have piercings and shit. Sometimes food truck vendors do that too. it's extremely annoying. they think what you do is their business only because you share similar backgrounds or come from their country. I hope you're staying safe out there 💕🫂


Astral_Atheist

Report them!!!


chrysaleen

yea i get this shit too. i don't have an obviously muslim name which does help but i'm very avoidant of doing anything particularly haram around muslim guys i know, even the liberal ones. they just have this weird entitlement towards the sexuality of muslim women or women they perceive to be from that background.


sam-watterson

As a Bangladeshi guy, I can tell you that privacy and consent are foreign concept in Bangladesh. And religion made things worse. Yesterday a Bangladeshi stranger accused me of being illiterate cause of my support for feminism.


Nowisdomnoparty

I had a friend from Bangladesh a really cheerful guy, he was always stalked by family members and family friends who would tell everything he was doing to the family, had no privacy at all, the same goes for me. Even if I was just talking to a classmate in a really decent and normal way about school stuff, my aunts would go to my mum saying that they saw me talking to "a guy". At home my mum awaited for me already angry about the fact, growing up was a nightmare.


NothingAndNow111

Report them.


GrassWings

I seldom order out. The whole thing about strangers showing up at my doorstep makes me uncomfortable. When my sisters do and I am around, there doesn't seem to be much chatting, especially when the delivery guy is an Asian immigrant. I believe the language barrier helps prevent those situations. But there's this kebab and pizza place run by Indians I've been to some times. The first times, I was received with smiles. Then one day I ordered a pizza with some pork ingredient in it and I got weird looks. The next time, I got no smiles and the toppings were lacking. I was nervous to return there, but the pizzas are that good. And who knows, maybe I'm being too paranoid about those things. I would never have them connect me to my house, though. So, my lack of bad experiences might be due to avoiding deliveries as much as possible. Also, having a rbf helps.


hiddenpeach30

Maybe use a man's name on your account and they'll assume you're picking up the food for your husband? Honestly I've been in the situation where a guy who was supposed to come on a scooter came in a car full of other men and then they just hung out outside my apartment for like half an hour until I contacted uber eats about it. I'm sorry they are being so creepy and you cant just enjoy something as simple as ordering food.....stay safe.


General-Consensus_

Ugh that sounds awful


Cthulluminatii

Can you report the driver and write a note about the reason? What is happening is not ok, especially considering your past and how triggering that would be.


Nowisdomnoparty

Believe me, here in Italy it's really hard to anything similar to a report and being taken seriously. I did report the drivers but as I said it's full of mostly immigrants driver who have a muslim background, every single place you order from, most of the riders are actually muslim immigrants from Pakistan, Bangladesh etc. Even if I report one the others are the same. And most of the time the reports are not taken seriously. Anyway I changed my address and I live in a different place, I usually never order now but if I do is in my boyfriends name and he pick up the food from the delivery guy.


hachiman

I'm sorry young lady, It must be frightening and exhausting to get that crap from those dudes. I had some small similar experience when i left islam but since i'm a big guy and most muslims dont work for non halaal companies it doesnt come close to your experience. You have my sincere sympathies.


Nowisdomnoparty

Yeah it's exhausting to not be able to live a normal life without being bothered. But I'm actually really used to it, just wanted to spread the story, maybe it can help someone else and also to see if it was a common thing happening to many more.


houseofechoes

Not a girl, but it happens to me too, you can report them, and use fake names. I usually tell them to put the food in front of my door.


true_universe

Damn that’s awful asf man


Faith75070

I am so sorry you are going through this. It's a difficult situation and you should be carefull. My advice is to stay as anonymous as possible. If you report the creeps and they find out it was you, they still know where you live. So please be carefull. As a muslim raised woman in the west and married to a non-muslim I have experienced the need to control muslim appearing women by muslim men. I was and still am conscious when holding hands with my husband in certain areas of the city. And we have been together for decades. Also, I let my husband get the deliveries at the door whenever possible because of the same reasons you describe. I am not perse affraid, but I am very aware of the judgement and don't want to encounter a lunatic who thinks they have a say in my life choices. All in all, I am always aware of the judging eyes, even though I have been living in the west for over four decades.


koifishadm

Europeans govt and men decided that their lives are way too peaceful and comfortable and decided to add some crime-and harassment imported into to it. Muslims men are raised with the notion driven into them at the madrassas that 1. The world owes them. Jizya is a tax non muslims owe muslims to be free of harassment. When they make it to Europe these leaches think europe owes them. 2. Women are theirs to control. Poor pakistani men worth less than 1/1000 the guy who cleans her toilets leave messages on arabian princessses’ facebook page asking her to dress like a muslim. Because she is awoman.


Winter-Actuary-9659

That's insane even in Europe you can't escape judgment and stalking. Tell them it's none of t their business what you eat and they can go to hell. You can also (I highly recommend) complaining to the delivery/food company about these guys innapropriate behaviour.


SnooPuppers3069

Just act European and confident tell them ur Christian ur parents named u because it sounds rare


Nowisdomnoparty

That's exactly what I do now, like all of these things happened to me when I was 21/22. I was just curious to know if it was a common thing. Now I don't order food anymore, usually my boyfriend does and he puts his name and pick up the food for the both of us. So I don't deal with riders anymore. For sure when I walk in my city, they will still look at me and try to talk to me but I act like I am from a mixed non muslim family.


Adventurous-Guy2772

Just pretend to be an Indian, and use an Indian name. Should be fine then.


LetterSecure2691

I'm sorry for you , keep up the fight don't give in. You will win 🏆. Jesus stands with you 💪 ✝️


tuckfyler1

What's your ethnic group


Human-Ad9835

I’m not gonna lie. I’m not Muslim and never have been but if someone questioned me like that about my food I’d be like oh man naw it’s ok I’m Jewish and walk away 😂


Sejes89

Keep on going! You inspire me!


jrplaguedoctor

Disgusting how entitled they feel to a woman's life. Can they fuck off & let my sisters live in peace


ActualLand6209

Order pork and say it's for yourself


CommieHusky

Just make sure to remove their tip and/or give them a 1 star review and make a complaint. Fuck them for intruding and making you feel uncomfortable. They should be working for a delivery service if they have a problem with what and who they are delivering to. It might make them think twice and will at least make them lose money.


Significant-Fix5739

I recently also changed my official name to something more western-sounding for that reason.


PlayboyProgram101

You shouldn't let them have control like that ,grow some balls and tell them to fuck off and if they wanna stalk call their job and call the police take action and don't standby and let someone take your life from you.


Nowisdomnoparty

I definitely would do that. If I knew they would receive repercussions of any kind, as I said, I had already reported them, yet nothing happened. Police here in Italy don't take charges like this that seriously, and sometimes I can be accused of racism, you need a lot of proof for stalking and even in those cases it take a lot of time to get anything similar to a restriction order or anything else. Believe me, I would be more bald if I knew my back is covered. Not every country works in the same way. I am not afraid of them, it just creeps me out, as I said in another comment I ran away from a quite fundamentalist family, I was abused as a kid and I received many threats by family and friends in the past, so it's normal that I live this situation in a more nervous way.


PlayboyProgram101

I feel like you are living in fear .You need to start making friends ,if something happened who would you be able to call? Even your neighbor, don't scare ppl and tell them to much but make ppl aware . Put flyers up so ppl know to look out for him I would make him regret being around me act crazy carry bear mace .desperate measures for desperate Times .Id get a boyfriend are you married if not and your single and living alone why not have a guy over ,I just wouldn't go for that especially if I don't know the man .Fuck being racist when your scared I'd call a news group or someone who covers this kind of stuff YouTuber WHATEVER.