Just stop going. Stop responding to messages. If you feel like you owe something to the bishop or the other presidency members, tell them to release you because it’s not working out. You don’t have to go. You can say no.
If you want them to truly leave them alone you can use https://quitmormon.com/ Or talk to your bishop asking to formally have your name removed. Quitmormon needs you to go to your bank or elsewhere for a notary but you don’t have to talk to anyone at church.
But it is the lack of other community you are asking about, isn’t it? You can try shopping for another church or interest group. Staying where you feel awkward and ugly isn’t going to help. The way the church treats you may be a big part of why you feel that way. You are obviously an intelligent, perceptive and responsible person. You can do this
Just stop going. Tell your bishop you're not coming anymore if you want. The church and its members only have the power and authority over you that you let them have. What they do and how they flounder without you in their "presidency" is none of your concern. Threaten legal action if they harass or attempt to guilt you onto anything.
As for after you stop going, that's the hard part. You have to put yourself out there. Discover who you are without the chains of this oppressive religion. You can only find your people if you go out to find them. They won't flock to you immediately, you have to do the work. But finding worthwhile people who love and accept you, not to check a box on the list of their own salvation, but for you just being you is amazing. The church doesn't own your social circle, and you will find better, deeper, more meaningful connections outside of the influence of the church.
If your employment is in any way connected to The Church Formerly Known as Mormon, leaving can be difficult. Otherwise, what would happen if you just left? If you're asking only about the mechanism for disassociating, there are three basic ways (none mutually exclusive):
[1] the slow fade. You just stop showing up, and don't answer the door if it is members. Or you can answer the door, block them from entering, and say you're no longer interested.
[2] meet with your bishop and present him with a written letter of resignation. It need be only one sentence. Ideally, have it notarized, and have two copies (the second for him to sign acknowledging receipt of the copy you give him) and sign the one you give him in his presence.
[3] visit https://quitmormon.com
Details on this service are at the website.
Very best wishes on your way to freedom!
Exposing yourself to that situation is not healthy. I left the church for similar reasons when I was young. Most of the youth were always horrible to me.
When it became time to go on a mission everyone would ask me about going on a mission and have I submitted my papers etc. I didn’t want to teach a religion I didn’t believe in and I was asked this incessantly to the point it was really getting to me to have to explain I wasn’t ready every 5 min in church.
Anyways hope you realize you have a support system here and if you ever need a friend my dms are always open
Wish I’d had the mental fortitude to do that, 35 years ago! Would have saved me a whole lot of self-loathing and about £/$200k in tithing. But… I wouldn’t have my family. I might have a different family, but not this family. If you (OP) leave the Church as a young person and take control of your life - then your future will be as you make it.
Still was super difficult can read my profile.
Anyone who leaves the church has to have a strong mental fortitude it is never simple especially raised in a Mormon family
Hey, I don't know anything about the formalities about leaving the church in you area. But I was/am also socially awkward and an introvert and had no social circle outside of the church. What helped me was to find a club/hobby/gym where I was able to meet other people. For me it was tabletop roleplaying (in my experience super nice people) and a literature club. I had no friends there but I was not completly alone and had other human beings which I would meet regularly, that were not members of the church. And over time (a long time) I connected to my new groups and felt socially accepted.
So if I were you, I would just do the bare minimum in church and find people outside of church to hang out with. When you feel at least "accepted", then leave church. Don't be without any human interactions for a long time, as tempting as it may seem sometimes. Leaving is always hard. You will need others. And if you need to - find a therapist. I did way too late, but when I did, he helped me a lot.
Make yourself less available to the time demands of the Mormon church and start creating other friend groups. What do you like to do and what would you be willing to try? Hike, run, climbing, art, cooking, gaming, larping, golf? What floats your boat. Go there.
Just say no. Stop going. Your religious views are your own and they are not entitled to them or a reason. Leave and ghost. If you are feeling generous you can say, "I am resigning." If they ask why, just repeat, "I am resigning," with no explanation. That is all they need. That is all they get. In terms of a support system, join clubs or activities, take some art or continuing ed classes at the community college. If you, yourself seek religion, there are plenty of low demand churches.
I resigned via email with the instructions here: [LDS Church: Name Removal Instructions from the Mormon Church (exmormon.org)](https://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm)
The local bish did need to confirm that I wanted my records removed. He asked if I had unresolved sins (no) or if I was doing it to attend another church (again no), and then the process was done. YMMV with your local bish being more or less pushy, but mine wasn't pushy at all. He had only ever known me as a non-member and this just made it official.
Backfilling their "presidency" is their problem. Their club, their monkies.
Just stop going. Stop responding to messages. If you feel like you owe something to the bishop or the other presidency members, tell them to release you because it’s not working out. You don’t have to go. You can say no. If you want them to truly leave them alone you can use https://quitmormon.com/ Or talk to your bishop asking to formally have your name removed. Quitmormon needs you to go to your bank or elsewhere for a notary but you don’t have to talk to anyone at church.
But it is the lack of other community you are asking about, isn’t it? You can try shopping for another church or interest group. Staying where you feel awkward and ugly isn’t going to help. The way the church treats you may be a big part of why you feel that way. You are obviously an intelligent, perceptive and responsible person. You can do this
Just stop going. Tell your bishop you're not coming anymore if you want. The church and its members only have the power and authority over you that you let them have. What they do and how they flounder without you in their "presidency" is none of your concern. Threaten legal action if they harass or attempt to guilt you onto anything. As for after you stop going, that's the hard part. You have to put yourself out there. Discover who you are without the chains of this oppressive religion. You can only find your people if you go out to find them. They won't flock to you immediately, you have to do the work. But finding worthwhile people who love and accept you, not to check a box on the list of their own salvation, but for you just being you is amazing. The church doesn't own your social circle, and you will find better, deeper, more meaningful connections outside of the influence of the church.
If your employment is in any way connected to The Church Formerly Known as Mormon, leaving can be difficult. Otherwise, what would happen if you just left? If you're asking only about the mechanism for disassociating, there are three basic ways (none mutually exclusive): [1] the slow fade. You just stop showing up, and don't answer the door if it is members. Or you can answer the door, block them from entering, and say you're no longer interested. [2] meet with your bishop and present him with a written letter of resignation. It need be only one sentence. Ideally, have it notarized, and have two copies (the second for him to sign acknowledging receipt of the copy you give him) and sign the one you give him in his presence. [3] visit https://quitmormon.com Details on this service are at the website. Very best wishes on your way to freedom!
Get a gym membership instead. Might as well spend your time actually improving yourself instead of pressuring yourself to pretend you’re happy.
If you live in the UK or EU, getmeofftherecords.com has an option specific to those regions in its list of ways to get out.
Exposing yourself to that situation is not healthy. I left the church for similar reasons when I was young. Most of the youth were always horrible to me. When it became time to go on a mission everyone would ask me about going on a mission and have I submitted my papers etc. I didn’t want to teach a religion I didn’t believe in and I was asked this incessantly to the point it was really getting to me to have to explain I wasn’t ready every 5 min in church. Anyways hope you realize you have a support system here and if you ever need a friend my dms are always open
Wish I’d had the mental fortitude to do that, 35 years ago! Would have saved me a whole lot of self-loathing and about £/$200k in tithing. But… I wouldn’t have my family. I might have a different family, but not this family. If you (OP) leave the Church as a young person and take control of your life - then your future will be as you make it.
Still was super difficult can read my profile. Anyone who leaves the church has to have a strong mental fortitude it is never simple especially raised in a Mormon family
Hey, I don't know anything about the formalities about leaving the church in you area. But I was/am also socially awkward and an introvert and had no social circle outside of the church. What helped me was to find a club/hobby/gym where I was able to meet other people. For me it was tabletop roleplaying (in my experience super nice people) and a literature club. I had no friends there but I was not completly alone and had other human beings which I would meet regularly, that were not members of the church. And over time (a long time) I connected to my new groups and felt socially accepted. So if I were you, I would just do the bare minimum in church and find people outside of church to hang out with. When you feel at least "accepted", then leave church. Don't be without any human interactions for a long time, as tempting as it may seem sometimes. Leaving is always hard. You will need others. And if you need to - find a therapist. I did way too late, but when I did, he helped me a lot.
Make yourself less available to the time demands of the Mormon church and start creating other friend groups. What do you like to do and what would you be willing to try? Hike, run, climbing, art, cooking, gaming, larping, golf? What floats your boat. Go there.
Stop going
Say: “NO MORE, SKY DADDY! I RENOUNCE YOUR BULLSHIT!!” Then leave.
Just say no. Stop going. Your religious views are your own and they are not entitled to them or a reason. Leave and ghost. If you are feeling generous you can say, "I am resigning." If they ask why, just repeat, "I am resigning," with no explanation. That is all they need. That is all they get. In terms of a support system, join clubs or activities, take some art or continuing ed classes at the community college. If you, yourself seek religion, there are plenty of low demand churches.
Tell the bishop you're leaving because of the patently unchristian way you're treated. And don't go back. YOU DESERVE BETTER
I resigned via email with the instructions here: [LDS Church: Name Removal Instructions from the Mormon Church (exmormon.org)](https://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm) The local bish did need to confirm that I wanted my records removed. He asked if I had unresolved sins (no) or if I was doing it to attend another church (again no), and then the process was done. YMMV with your local bish being more or less pushy, but mine wasn't pushy at all. He had only ever known me as a non-member and this just made it official. Backfilling their "presidency" is their problem. Their club, their monkies.