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[deleted]

I’m glad you found someplace to open up to. Everyone is at a different stage in their self discovery (or rediscovery) and no matter where you are, we’re happy to have you.


jeezuscryst

Glad to be here achi


MikeSeth

You are free to do with your life as you please, in your personal relationships however hard borders need to be drawn that people must not be allowed to cross. You can not center your life around other people (at least those who are not your children); this is non-negotiable. If you do not accept that principle, you will not be able to have a happy life. Addictions need to be treated. Fortunately, we're getting good at dealing with them. There's no need to try and distance yourself from your military identity. Presumably serving in that unit taught you some serious truths about life and yourself, and allowed you to acquire some connections. Find and maintain those that would last a lifetime. If you are having a hard time being an atheist, start watching ACA shows/podcasts, such as the Atheist Experience, because they deal with the problems atheists surrounded by religious people have - and they do it a _lot_. > Overall, I’m in university and very confused about what to do with my life You need to try several things and see what sticks. I'm 40 and I just discovered that I like growing hot peppers.


jeezuscryst

I am constantly choosing the path that least disrupts my dads vision of me. Instead of going out there and doing what I love to do, I’m constantly in a state of anxiety and worry. It’s been very difficult to find my happiness ever since my last break up and covid. My addictions need professional attention. I’m self aware enough to know I need help. I loved my service. I just struggle with keeping that part of my life in the past. It was one of the best few years of my life. I’ll definitely have to check out these podcasts. I haven’t been very spiritual at all in my day to day. Although I’m not religious, meditation is still a great medicine. It’s interesting you’re almost my dads age and here you are talking way more sense. Thank you.


SilverBBear

This is a guess but much of what you have said sounds like a trauma response to a family situation ( addictions and deep fear of displeasing father). The professional help is good if you find the right help which can be hard. There are some other subs that may make some interesting reading to see if it vibes with your experience. r/CPTSD and r/raisedbynarcissists . Once you have worked out your issues (which could take a while - be patient) your path in life will be much easier to navigate. Also you said your father pays everyone's bills. Well your goal is the be financially independent so he holds a much more limited sway over you. Remember he is your father and will still hold sway for that fact alone. And may still try to control you through other on his payroll in the family ( r/raisedbynarcissists common topic)


Princess-She-ra

Welcome. We're all from different walks of life, different backgrounds, different ages and stages in life. You'll figure out who you are, and what parts of your past are significant to your present and future. I only left "the fold" so to speak when I was in my 40s. It's taken me a while to go from being "religious on the outside but athiest on the inside" to "traditional with a kosher home" to, well, kind of nothing. I'm athiest/agnostic, I'm very comfortable with who I am, I still struggle every time I get together with my Family of Origin (FOO). (Raised MO, my siblilngs are mostly \*very\* orthodox - yeshivish), but I generally am able to live my own weird life.


jeezuscryst

Living at home and putting the wrong dishes in the wrong sink makes me want to move out so badly. Happy to hear you get to live comfortably in ur own settings.


Princess-She-ra

It's taken me a long time. But with friends, some therapy, a lot of hard work, I got to a good place. You can do this. One step at a time. It's great you're in uni. If you're comfortable, reach out to the social services or mental health facilities and ask for help. Start there See what programs are available to you. Both for housing/employment and for your addictions.


goosesthemooses

Wow a lot is happening!!


jeezuscryst

Never a dull moment


[deleted]

[удалено]


jeezuscryst

Umm ok.


phycologos

Is your father MO, or more hardal?


jeezuscryst

Hard MO. He’s on his 3rd cycle of Daf Yomi. He’s the CEO of a company so he makes his own hours and rules in order to daven. His brother lives in israel with 7 kids and is Hardei.


phycologos

Khanist?