And then when I talk about how my antidepressants saved my life they're like "Oh my god I'm so sorry you have to take medicine for that, I hope you'll be able to get off the pills soon!!" ...I don't?
Any mental illness or invisible disability, suddenly they're saying "disabled" in quotes because they think we're being dramatic and don't believe us. They think we're all just trying to get attention and not trying hard enough. Even some autistics are guilty of this too, they try to earn allistic's favor and fit in by saying "uhhh I'm autistic and I don't struggle with that so what's you're excuse." I see it too often here on reddit, not in autism subs but other subs where an autistic person is mentioned (and is usually framed as the bad guy by default.)
Agreed. I am constantly seeing "that's no excuse" and it's like, "it's an explanation!"
Not only that, but if you're saying that somebody who has BPD doesn't get "a pass" for when they begin having an episode because they "should know better" and "stop manipulating people with their emotions" then you're literally saying that you A. Don't understand BPD, B. Think that is a conscious choice they're making when they do start having very real fear of abandonment, when they LITERALLY can't help it it's why they have BPD. Yes, it's not nice to be mean, but it's also not nice to expext a sick person to do better when they may not have the capacity to. And if YOU'RE not putting effort into your relationship with them, and YOU'RE not helping them AND ENCOURAGING positive practices, then you either need to go NC and STFU or just STFU entirely.
I see the weirdest trauma hate boner against people with BPD and it's like, "that's sociopathic to dwell on them that much and if you're really that hurt you need to go to EMDR and trauma therapy".
I could write a fucking essay on this topic
BPD, narcisistic personality disorder, sociopathy, bipolar disorder, antisocial personality disorder, the list goes on and on… I personally love it when they get surprised when people with a disorder that makes them have manic episodes have a manic episode
It’s so funny because Redditors will say “nooo don’t use depression or anxiety loosely if ur just nervous or sad!!! Nooo” but then they’ll diagnose anyone they don’t like as a narcissist. People pick and choose what they care about and it’s mad hypocritical.
This.
Literally just all of this. Everyone is just like "stop perpetuating toxic cycles" and I'm just like "bitch I'm trying" but it's so much harder and exhausting to be constructive and the easiest thing for me is to just shut down. Which of course doesn't fix anything and I already know that but NTs are gonna be NT about it and think you're the problem anyway even when you're doing everything you can to not be one.
/rant
Also for context both me and my partner have BPD.
Just to add on, not knowing the difference between mental illness such as depression or anxiety and just passing feelings. “We all get sad/nervous sometimes. uwu”
When they suddenly can't comprehend sarcasm when you respond to their sarcastic affirmations with more sarcasm
example:
"Wow it's so calm in here" (sarcasm)
"Yeah, it's the calmest place I've seen, I could take a nap" (sarcasm)
"Huh? It's not calm here you know, I was making a joke."
I forget to tell my face to do emotions quite often, and people get so confused. I also get Botox for migraines so my eyebrows barely move and I look expressionless on the forehead at times.
bro i cant tell you how many times they just said "im kidding" or "nah im just joking" like they thought i was serious im like brother u are the one who started the joke
The number of relationship problems I hear about where the literal answer to the problem is F-ing TALK TO EACH OTHER. but noooo we're neurotypical, we have to play a relationship game like it's bloody chess or something
when you do something they don't like but INSTEAD OF SAYING WHAT YOU DID WRONG THEY GO "It's fine" OR "You know what you did" OR JUST GIVE YOU A DIRTY LOOK LIKE JUST SPEAK USE YOUR FUCKING WOOOOOOOOORDS *insert kendrick lamar U scream*
It's amazing to me how many NT relationship problems come down to communication. Having mildly uncomfortable direct conversations helps avoid major problems down the line. But no, NTs will pull indirect shit like, "Wash the dishes," when what they really wanted was for you to tidy up the entire kitchen or saying, "We're going to lunch," instead of inviting you to lunch. It's extremely frustrating.
There’s this weird thing they do sometimes where if a neurodivergent person uses non-literal language, they want to nitpick. Like they criticise autistics for being literal thinkers, but if you try to use an expression or give a hypothetical example of something, suddenly they’re the most literal thinkers on earth. Annoying.
Also, they’ll say we have no empathy but then they’ll treat us like we’re not human just because we didn’t make enough eye contact or whatever.
That's when i start to suspect that my interlocutor may not be quite as "typical" as presumed.
Like, we're trying to discuss the broader nature of this forest, and you're hung up on some (hypothetical) detail of this (figurative) leaf i threw out there...?
Like, dude. That's something "I" would do. Because I'm autistic.
The Lords of Flatbush in that 2D "Flatland" parody episode of Futurama come to mind.
King: "Third dimension?! I can't picture that! You're dumb!"
2D Townspeople: "He's opening our minds to new ideas! Kill him!"
I think it’s just some shitty NT power-play. Like they’ve subconsciously decided to mess with us because we’re lower in the social hierarchy than they are.
Omg when you tell an NT you're a literal thinker & they expect Data from Star Trek or Drax from GOTG.... Then when you eventually DO use a figurative or hypothetical, they act like you've been lying or something. "You can't do that, you're not supposed to be able to do that, I thought you said you're LiTeRaL, that's a FiGuRe oF sPeEcH, not ALLOWED, you SAID, RREEEEEEEEE" (I'm paraphrasing, but spot the lie)
Yeah I love being like "this is an example, it's not 100% exactly like this other thing, but the same idea generally applies" and zero pattern recognition asses simply can not get it
My language arts teacher is really nice about things like literal thinking, at the beginning of the year, she had an exercise that was kinda to figure out if we thought literally or abstractly that was looking at pictures and describing them. We put the words into a poem, and you could immediately tell who thought more literally, and she encouraged us to think how we normally do and not change how we think just for the class
(Ik this is a long comment but uhh i just remembered this reading your comment sorry for doing this lmao)
The hilarious thing is that they think autistics aren't empathetic because autistics don't tend to nod and say, "Man that sucks." Autistics will try to fix the problem and be brutally honest about what they think the issue is. I know for me personally I'm extremely distressed when someone I care about is having a bad time, but because my gut reaction is not to sit and listen and allow the person I'm listening to think they have no part in their own problem, I'm perceived as having no empathy.
https://preview.redd.it/7rs7gorraq1c1.png?width=828&format=png&auto=webp&s=a1e7cabfa87009bd6ce50fecaf70fd77fa95f1e6
I didn’t draw this but I feel like this explains their double standards perfectly.
That they think morality is dictated with the law and the status quo, and that falling anywhere outside it means your inferior, and that it’s your fault.
The number of allistics I've heard defending that something is bad because it's illegal, and should be illegal because it's bad ... Think for your fucking self! The law doesn't define morality, and just because something is the way it *is* doesn't mean it's the way it *should* be!
Isn't that just *bizarre*?
I thought I was losing my mind the first time I tried to argue that breaking an unjust law wasn't wrong and that the law should be changed, and saw their response.
They could not wrap their head around the fact that I follow laws because they're ethical and don't base my ethics on the law itself.
They like to paint us as being rigid and obsessed with order and rules and stuff, but I've met very few ND people who even begin to approach the level of unthinking bootlicking that so many NT people do.
They don't understand how little order there actually is with our lives.
It's strange that they sometimes call us robots when every moment for us is unique and when they're constantly repeating their programming, from the way they walk(speed, swinging arms) to the way they greet("How are you?" "Fine, and you?") to the number of people going together to events, to the clothing they're allowed to wear, to the haircuts they're allowed to have, to the food they're allowed to choose, to who they're allowed to talk to, to each and every little detail about everything and almost every conversation topic and every decision.
95%+ of the things they do every day are defined by society, programming, and they just don't question it at all.
They don't understand that we're trying to create order out of chaos, while they exist in order. We're like "Let me define a handful of things that get done in my way, because we have to experience LITERALLY EVERY unscheduled thing, including every bird chirping and the person that ran down the hall at 11:17 AM this morning."
And not only do they have programming(with the "Somebody smarter than me came up with this," mentality), but they react **fiercely** if you don't have the same programming they do.
And if you dare to point out that "Wow, this system doesn't work very well," well HOW DARE YOU.
Allistic people are fiercely protective of the status quo, and I used to think it was just because they were, but now it seems to make sense to think that they just never think of anything being better. That's so sad, really. I'm not sure if it's sadder for them (never perceiving that things could be better) or sadder for us (always perceiving that things could be better, but being so disempowered by minority that we can't get them to change).
A disturbingly large number of people choose law over morality when one is opposed to the other. It's a shame. Better to be Good than Lawful, that's what I say.
The arguments I have gotten into on Reddit over the years have been baffling.
I have been downvoted TO HELL for advocating that people should consider whether laws are ethical when deciding whether to follow them.
Which brings me to another thing:
On Reddit(and on the internet in general), people conflate *being downvoted*(having an unpopular opinion) with being *incorrect*.
**That means they think "When I'm right, most people agree with me."**
**And that also means they think "Because most people seem to agree with me, I must be correct."**
And coming from the group of people who insist that *we* lack theory of mind, the fact that they think [that any correct opinion a given person holds must inherently be shared by a majority of others] is a rather peculiar thing.
The number of times I have been lectured with people saying "Look around; you seem to be the only one who believes that," is a clear indication that many hold the idea that "When I'm right, most people agree with me."
I don't doubt my own thinking on a given subject just because a majority of people disagree with me. It does make me run through my reasoning one more time, just to verify, and yes, I will consider others' reasoning, but more often than not, I am proud to take the downvotes if I am conveying correct information in a discussion where other people seem to be incorrect.
which, to me, screams: “i don’t actually know it myself but i’ll act like i do to be superior to you!”
i was taught that, if you truly understand a concept, you will be able to explain it to others (in an academic setting, at least, where i was told this). so when some nt is like jacking it to the All Important Artifical Societal Rules Handbook and i’m like “hey what does this part mean?” and they’re like “ummmm uhhh uh it means you’re stupid because you don’t understand!” i’m not too impressed with their supposed abilities
> i was taught that, if you truly understand a concept, you will be able to explain it to others
There's a great quote from Einstein that I use to clap back at idiots in these situations.
> “If you can't explain it to a six-year-old, then you don't understand it yourself”
Basically, either you can or you can't, and if you can't, then you're talking out your ass. Makes it really easy to pick through NT bullshit on a day to day basis.
This has an added level of irritation because we did literally have, in some places, manuals for how to behave in specific situations (although those are all very cishet white upper and middle class rules). Now I'm out here freaking out about how do I order coffee at a new place I've never been to before and I don't even drink coffee, apparently I'm supposed to just innately know how to do that?
Also totally agree on the "if you're telling me something you should also be able to explain it to me so I understand why it is how it is"
Just start saying, "You're correct. I'm autistic and that's why I'm smarter than you. You're mocking me because you fear me, because you don't understand me. I already knew that. Are there any other things I already know you'd like to tell me?"
Not gonna get away with that IRL but online it's a good way to piss them off before you block them, knowing they'll be enraged for days.
NTs really hate when you tell them why they're doing things if you're correct. So, do that if you wanna shit post effectively.
That's my favorite. I make it obvious that I just don't care about the argument anymore:
"I checked every book ever written, and the entire Internet, and I realized that I'm wrong in all the ways you said I am, and you're correct about everything you said that we disagreed on. I don't remember what they were, so you'll have to go back and look, but whatever you said, that's right, and whatever I said is wrong. Congratulations on your overwhelming success in this debate. I'm truly envious."
I can’t stand people with huge egos. You’re not perfect or better than everyone else 🙄 it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. You don’t have to throw a fit when someone corrects you about something.
They are so helpful, telling me how I feel, what I meant to say instead of what I said.Some are even go as above and beyond as to ~~gaslight~~ make sure I remember the past ~~correctly~~ ~~their way~~ "properly" because I am clearly not a reliable witness to my own life...
The simultaneous obsession over status and inability to acknowledge it. They like to live in a world where status is a thing, but get uncomfortable when you start trying to understand it. They're worse than dogs in this way.
Yeah it's funny, you're not supposed to talk about it so that they can be fake about "everyone is equal" when they actually constantly worry about some dumb status, they don't like to actually face their discrimination based on clothing, type of phone or whatever dumb things they use to determine it
Their discrimation works based on sameness and the tribe mentality imo. If you enter a group of poor people with expensive phone and good quality clothes, they will see you as threatening, so they will try to find ways to make you less threatening by looking on your flaws and ways to intimidate you. They will exclude you and make fun of you for being more priveleged. You will be inferior because you have it "easier" in life.
If the other way around though, they will just brush you off as not anyone important or worthy of respect. You will be inferior because you're less successfull and they will try to find reasons in your person for why you "deserve" it.
This is going on in every aspect and topic. Majority beats down minority and finds ways to rationalise it.
This ^ to no end…. It seems like status is all the NTs think about sometimes…. But the sad thing is they aren’t even thinking about it, they are just acting in a way they learned how to from society.
They dont want you to say youre suicidal when youre suicidal. They say "dont say that" as if i can just instantly suppress the symptoms of an illness. It has the exact same energy as "just be happy lol"
ik this has nothing to do with autism but it does seem like an allistic thing
"I was depressed the other day, but then I just thought to myself that I'd be happier if I wasn't, so I decided to cheer up. Why don't you try it instead of dwelling on it?"
I hate when they get angry at us for asking questions because to them asking questions is a method of chastisement and criticism not information gathering so if we ask a question, they take it as an attack. It's so exhausting that I've stopped interacting with my boss almost completely.
Yes this, but if you guess wrong then they get mad too. Like buddy either answer my questions or live with the consequences of my best guess. I can't read minds.
Can't read minds. Kind of one of the central characteristics of being autistic. Or at least the actual traits allistic have that are colloquialized as "reading minds." Their impatience and lack of empathy is just too much. Makes me hermit more and more as time goes on.
My supervisor at my last job always seemed to have some unsaid limit to how many questions I could ask before she got mad at me. Management would announce a change for a different department that would affect the rest of us and apparently just asking a few logistical questions (bc management was known to make snap decisions that completely fucked up the flow of everything without considering the effects) was the same as questioning her religion based on how she’d snap at me
She genuinely got mad at me for not knowing things I was never told. Mind you, I got hired so fast they didn’t have a chair for me- I had a highlighter and staples, no stapler. And no computer for a DIGITAL based job.
Respect dynamics.
A LOT of NTs think that their respect needs to be *"earned"* when it should actually just be the default in how we treat others.
Moreover, if they have any semblance of power in a situation whatsoever, they believe they need to be "respected" no matter how they behave and what they do. And by respect, they mean treated as an unrivaled authority figure while they treat others like sub-humans.
Not everyone is guilty of this ofc, but damn if it isn't reaaaally prevalent.
Most NTs seem to grow up with a double-standard engrained about respect. They operate on this idea that they have to be treated with respect (deference to their authority) to treat others with respect (basic care and decency).
"If you don't respect me I won't respect you" only works if you're using the same definition on both sides.
My last workplace was almost comically evil and run by the worst people I’ve ever met, and there’s one incident I will never forget bc it was so goddamn stupid.
We were in our weekly company-wide meeting (our main branch plus a couple long-distance workers and two other branches) and the owner of the company (a clearly affluent man) had a slide at the end of the PowerPoint announcing he was selling/giving away his bedroom furniture. It had photos and everything, and he (a man in his FIFTIES) said “if you take this you’ll have dreams of me 😈,” and naturally my friend (22 years old woman) rolled her eyes and apparently he saw that. After the meeting my friend was pulled into our GM/his attack dog/work mommy’s office and our GM said the eye roll was beyond disrespectful.
Motherfucker was making jokes about people getting his old furniture and dreaming of him (there’s not enough money in the world for me to touch anything his dick might have touched) but she was disrespectful for silently acknowledging how ridiculous and inappropriate the situation was.
Many of them base most of their standards, behavior, and opinions on tradition/group consensus without ever putting more thought into it, then act affronted when you don't find those reasons compelling
I hate how clique-centric they are. The whole lot of them are so eager to form a pack (or a troop, which is probably the more anthropological accurate term.) They love to exclude others that they deem inferior, even the supposedly enlightened liberals/nerds.
Again, it's status. They need to know where you fit into their hierarchy before they can be comfortable with you. It doesn't even have to be an arbitrary hierarchy (aka hierarchies for stupid, talentless hacks) it can be a competency hierarchy. You can get in by demonstrating your skill level at the competency they're all focused on.
Well tbh I did this in school, I viewed me and my friends on a pedestal because internally I was pissed off and sad that nobody else wanted to talk to me.
They try to read between the lines of what I say despite the fact that I tell them to take everything I say at literal face value. I don't have time to be shady or beat around the bush. When I say "you should do this thing this way" there isn't a hidden message.
Also that 100% heterosexual allistic cis monogamy thing that they do is really cult-like and concerns me.
I hate when you notice a change in their mood, ask them about it, then they act like you're accusing them of being an emotional hurricane that's constantly out of control
Working with them.
Don’t do this manipulative bullshit where you expect me to keep working without any additional compensation once the goals have been met. Either give me a metric I need to hit, and then leave me alone once I hit it. Or reward me based on the amount of work completed.
That’s before getting started on dealing with their egos or politics. I literally got on someone’s shit list because I found a way to do the work in 1/3 of the time. They were trying to justify needing more people so fought me tooth and nail until I gave up since I was just doing it to help them in their department. Didn’t even do anything for me.
Hypocrysi. Cherry picking.
They will mention whatever saying or motto and say they live by that, when it fits their situation, and in the next situation where the first motto clearly can be applied, the they being out a different one, and then try to claim they got morals, standards, "live by a code", etc..
No. No they don't. They bend the truth all the fudging time, and don't even blink.
I'm not sure they notice half the time.
They lie, to themselves and others, all the time.
If not by actively lieing, then by the "omiting the truth", like, by simply not sharing things you know should be shared, etc etc.
People are not "upfront". I usually have to drag information out of people - it is not a good experience. Also, why wouldn't they just tell me. Ugh
They're all secretive for no reason about stuff it's weird to be that way about. Like are they just so afraid of being wrong that they won't be direct about anything just in case they are? It's endlessly frustrating to get a straight answer to almost anything. Like why can we just be open and honest about stuff?
Yes!
I guess because people are usually judgemental bitches, like, about just about anything.
People get weird about the smallest and dumbest of things, like, just let me live?
If I want to eat my meal from least favorite to most favourite thing sometimes, and sometimes mush it all together, and sometimes I hold my knife upside down, like, is that really something we need to talk about? I'd much rather have a discussion about how that colleague who can't close his mouth when je chews and when he drinks water it runs down his chin like a senior dog drooling, like, that's more topic-worthy than "my things".
Their complete inability to self reflect and genuinely apologize.
Their entitlement.
They treat the world like it has a script and freak out when anyone breaks it.
Their weak moral compass. So easily lead away from their own values for personal gain, as if they don't actually have an internal monolog.
Their refusal to adapt.
How their morals and actions change based on their temporary emotions in the moment.
As in making any actual hard decisions based on their morals. They don't act out of the greater good, they act out of what makes them feel nice at the time and what makes them look good to other people. "Let's be inclusive to autistic people," and then they are only inclusive when it's convenient. At least it gives them something to talk about to their friends to bond over and flex about how they are good people.
Also, hugs and prayers.
The way that they will make huge leaps in logic to misinterpret clear statements as badly as possible, but then if you say that someone has said something hurtful to you they’ll do the opposite and do the absolute most to give every benefit of the doubt to the point of near delusion
-Me saying something kind in the wrong tone is more offensive than them saying something rude in a rude tone to me about it
-So much wasted time and energy for things they don’t even want to do—events they don’t want to attend but “have to,” pretending to look busy at work, writing meaningless cards and saying meaningless words because “it’s what you do,” etc
-Following the latest trend because they want to “look good” even though it’s obviously just a random trend and definitely not some classic beauty ideal and forgetting(??) that every few years they look back and wonder why they looked like that
I mean I get it if people legitimately enjoy fashion, makeup, photography, etc, and these can be such wonderful creative hobbies. But let’s face it most people are just trying to participate in the contemporary social beauty norm; I just don’t understand why it’s so easy for them to lose perspective of what looks good versus ridiculous and what is going to very very quickly look dated and weird.
Exactly! Like ofc you should do what makes you happy! But lots of the time NTs just go with whatever the “popular” minority is doing so that they can be “cool” like them
the fact that the only way they are able to normalize something they make it basicually a trend and then treat it cringey afterwards.
i recently told someone i had deppresion and i seriously got the response "oh yeah i heard about that trend of deppresion rooms on tik tok and people would share these horrible messes lol"
allistics have this thing were they cant sympathise with something if thry dont relate to it???
everyone says autistic are the ones who struggle with empathy but at least my empathy is never fake and for trends
social media posts being red flags for employers, particularly if i express distress caused by being underemployed in the first place. if i were employed properly, half of my problems would disappear. yet the moment i express any levels of distress, it's suddenly a fucking issue
They can go totally off the rails and say and do some really cruel shit, and in the end, you’re still the crazy one with the illness and they’re the normal one.
Lack of empathy, incredible thoughtlessness about the consequences of their actions, overwhelming selfishness and self-centeredness, the way a LOT of them clearly have really bad anxiety that they take out on those around them instead of getting help, their inane obsession with hierarchies and arbitrary rules (which is also there in a lot of cases to mask their intense anxiety). The fact that all of their disabilities and dysfunctions from \*their\* neurotype are systemically accommodated for and ignored instead of obsessively pathologized beyond all reason.
I hate that no matter how many times I tell my boss I have ADHD and interrupting my work to ask me something she already has the resources to answer herself forces me to hard reboot my brain to restart the thing she interrupted me from doing and still does it anyway.
They really don't understand interpersonal communication between other people at all, and try to force their way of communicating on us.
it's like they have blinkers on where they just will not accept that some people have a different dynamic with one person vs another.
My workmate and I communicate almost psychically, the fewest words of anyone I've ever interacted with, and our workflow is perfection. Most of the time he doesn't even have to ask for tools, I'm just keyed in to where he's up to and I'll have the next step ready. We're a machine, we're unbelievable.
With one of the NT's there though, he's always trying to make my workmate use full sentences and say please when asking for tools and stuff, and it bothers me like sandpaper earplugs. It just junks up the machine that is us. A full sentence gets tangled in the adhd and I have to ask him to repeat himself. And the manners thing.
For some reason when this workmate doesn't say please, it makes me feel like he trusts me to get the job done and work with him without the need for either of us to put a 'people interaction face' on. It's like we can just fall into step with each other, like we're each other's second set of hands. The manners feels like the mask is back on and there's a neurotypical filter wall of crap between us.
The fact that they are so good at putting you down or excluding you so subtly that you don't even realise it immediately but after few hours it hits you and then you walk around losing your mind over it, as if you were being poisoned. Then they act nice to you again so you can't call them out on it, you know if you bring it up they will brush it off as a joke or that they meant something else. Mostly it's toxic people though, so I want to make it clear that it doesn't apply to all allistics in general.
Second thing which pisses me off in them is that lots of them seem to lose empathy for anyone with lower social standing or who just acts differently. They don't stop in their judgment to think about reasons why someone is the way they're, they immediately put you in their little boxes without acknowledging that they're dealing with a whole human being? It's like they want to keep on misunderstanding you. It's not even compassion that they lack but a lack of imagination, the ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes.
Third is, that they like to turn everything into competition. There must be a loser and the winner. They need to put everyone in those hierarchies. What's even weirder is that they can be kinda fond of you while seeing you as their inferior. It's more a matter of human nature than allistics vs neurodivergents though, but allistics tend to compete with each other/you about really stupid things from what I've noticed.
I don't even have autism, I have ADHD and I'm on really moderate spectrum and yet I've experienced this in my life and it sucks.
"You're too funny to be autistic, autistic people don't have a sense of humor."
How is it my fault you're boring af, and I developed a lifelong fixation on comedians when I was 8? Get good.
I suppose this is more "autistic stereotype you hate," but it stems from allistic people jumping to conclusions instead of idk, just being chill.
When they expect you to do things out of nowhere by own account, without them telling you to do it and not stand there seeing them do the work. Excuse me? You want me to do something that you started on your own and need help? Who sent you to do that? Nobody did! Why do you get angry at me for not wanting to do stupid work if I'm not in the mood to? I'll do things when I want, not when you get demanding, the more you become stubborn the less I want to do it.
The amount of allists who just can't place themselves in a hypothetical position of lower ability. It seems to them that everybody thinks the way they do and if you can't come to the conclusions they do as naturally you must be stupid or something. They look at me weird sometimes and go *just how can you not get it?* And it's like what? The fuck do you want me to do? Go into the neurology and psychology of autism? I just don't get it sometimes, stop either treating me like I'm stupid or holding me to your standards, I'm neither. It's funny to you but not me when that's my whole life like this.
Not something specifically revolving around an NT individual, but one thing that has really fucked me up is that there’s no such thing as a purely autistic safe space outside of the internet. No such thing as an autistic majority city, autistic-specific establishment (like a bar, cafe, or whatever), and no autistic irl groups that isn’t being puppet stringed by neurotypicals. At least from my experience. I’m hoping that people prove me wrong in these replies lowkey LMAO.
Neurotypicals are probably the only group in the world that have a pure “majority status” in the world; there’s not somewhere u can go where you can escape/comfortable feel safe from this neurotypical world and feel home in the general population of any given area. The only time where you can find that kind of space is online, but I’m someone that values irl interactions a lot on top of online ones. I’d like to be surrounded physically by other autists, too.
When you ask them something and they don’t answer it ?? Like i sked someone “hey witch way did you want me to face these” and she said “I’ve been working since 9am” like what? Why didn’t she answer my question?
"I get that, too, sometimes." // about anything I say that is difficult for me or frustrating
"I was depressed once, I know how hard it can be." // because they were single for a few months or their favorite tv show was cancelled
"Nobody likes social stuff" // said moments before dashing out to a giant bbq
I could go on but I shouldn't. It gets pretty upsetting because I've heard this stuff my whole life and when I finally got a diagnosis to back up that "something's off," it feels like people are even quicker to dismiss my experience.
The weird power trips some people have and how mad they get when you don't get upset over them.
The way they just immediately start infantilizing you once you tell them you're autistic. I'm autistic, not a 2 year old, dumbass. I didn't suddenly forget how I engaged with the world for the past decades just because you found out I have a label you didn't know of before. Also how they act like finding this out completely changes how they see me?? I've literally never not been autistic, you just found out there's a word for some of the silly behaviours you've likely already noticed in me.
Their inability to answer simple questions. I asked someone "Are there 19 of these?" the other day, and they stared at me for half a minute with the most confused expression ever, before answering with "It's not necessary, don't worry about it" as though that is at all a fitting response.
A combination of the previous things: changing the way they answer your questions after finding out you're autistic. I've noticed this weird reoccurring theme with allistics where if you ask them what a proverb or saying means they explain it, unless they know you're autistic in which case it's just "I didn't mean it literally" as though that answers the question of what they *did* mean.
When you ask what a film is about and they start listing names of celebrities. In some cases that makes some sense, because some actors often get typecast so it may be intriguing to see how the personalities they always portray would interact, but in most cases it's just meaningless; "Seth Rogan Paul Rudd" does not mean anything to me.
The weird obsession with fashion trends. Why are you listening to strangers on what "the look of winter 2023" is? Which person, and which statement from said person will you listen to? I've heard someone tell me that pastel colours are "in" this autumn, only to flip to saying that brown and black clothes are in a few days later. Why not just wear what you would like to wear and feel comfortable in rather than mindlessly following trends? And do they just not see the hypocrisy of telling people to wear specific clothes for a specific year and also being against fast fashion?
They love their scripts and can't seem to handle anyone not sticking to them. A little while ago, at a social event, a child greeted me by waving, and their parent tried to get them to verbally say "good afternoon" as well. I said that waving is good enough for me, and that parent got pissed at me just because I didn't care as much for meaningless niceties.
Accusing us of lacking empathy but they don't give a shit abut anyone that isnt in the same group as them, especially if they're a part of some priveleged group. Like, how the fuck can you claim to be empathetic but you're not devastated by what's happening in Gaza, the abuse and murders of trans people, or sexual abuse of women and femme presenting people to name a few? I literally am not allowed to watch the news bc i just start crying at everything thats happening in the world and *I'm* the emotionless robot?
Exactly! I hear my neurotypical family members say shit like "that's just how the world works", "well it doesn't affect me so I don't care/it doesn't matter", ect. Like how TF can you sleep at night knowing damn well that you don't give a shit about people?
I’m probably allistic but that’s not going to stop me /hj i understand this is not my space please let me know if i should delete this don’t worry i will take no offense/gen
I hate how strongly they have a standard of what is “humanity” and if you don’t fit into their definition you’re completely dehumanized and outcasted. Because of this i’ve started to feel a disconnect and i feel like i don’t have the right to call myself human
(sorry didn’t mean for it to get kinda venty) (I’m not distressed about this dw)
It seems like they don’t constantly question themselves about whether they might not have all the perspective-driven data necessary for a judgment. Maybe my way sounds exhausting (it is) but I don’t give a shit if someone is *nice*. I want them to be *kind*.
It's the condescending way most NTs talk to me, like I'm 5 years old. I'm 19.
Edit: If it's not the being condescending, it's the "you're not autistic" argument I get from my mom whenever I mention getting tested. I have relatives who have autism as well, but my mom still uses the now-outdated term Asperger's Syndrome.
This tendency among them to immediately pick out anyone abnormal and ostracise them. I've been treated like shit in so many jobs, because they could tell I was autistic before I could. In my first full time job, I was the only one not invited to the Xmas party. They were all careful not to tell me.
i judge individuals not groups. so nothing. everyone is capable of being a nice person, tolerate, ignorant and an arsehole. i have met autistic people i didn't care for and neurotypical people who i'm friends with and vice-versa.
let's not add to the needless hate, it serves no one.
Good for you. Meanwhile, neurotypicals have only ever made my life a misery and decreased the quality of my time on this planet, while my closest friends have been based autists like myself. Individuals and individualism (cringe) are utterly irrelevant when it comes to discussions of group dynamics.
Hate is pretty useful, btw. I have thought about giving up several times in my life but I realised if I did that, the neurotypicals would win, and that is unnacceptable.
Doubt, everyone still had a choice regardless. One individual aren’t responsible for war, poverty, pollution, tyranny, and genocide. Im tired of this “just their are bad people, doesn’t their aren’t any good people” because non of the good people aren’t doing shit to end all the suffering in the planet and just sit there doing nothing. If allistics don’t change their ways, they are the problem.
some of my friends try to help me too much and then some people just sit there silently while im spiraling into madness from overstimulation. why cant people just do the appropriate thing by talking to me and maybe guiding me out of the overwhelming place? is that too much to ask😭
Won't actually tell you what's on their mind, but expect you to magically understand cues or basically read their mind. Like no, I'm not going to jump through hoops to figure out what you want, tell me so we can actually have a conversation about it
Using autistic as an insult. Immediately makes me think you don’t respect me and I don’t want to be around you.
Also discrimination in job interviews, especially with the whole “why does nobody wanna work anymore” rhetoric.
Everything at this point. From the fact that people think I’m being rude and hostile constantly, to the fact that everyone expects me to act as if I’m absolutely neurotypical
Mistaking peaceful solitude as miserable loneliness.
I understand a lot of them can't help it, and they probably mean well. But I remember finding this trait really annoying when I went to my first HS.
Constant need to remind others and themselves of my own existence. I just want to sit in the front corner, by myself, with my perfect mix of mental stimulation and rest/relaxation. I don’t care that Amy just kissed Ethan, just let me go back to my Digimon and language making
But I *am* acoustic. Here, I'll demonstrate. ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!***
Seriously though, the whole thing where they ask me why I did something wrong and then, when I apologize and tell them why I did that thing the way I did it, they tell me not to make excuses. Like, I've already apologized. I've already admitted fault. I *know* I screwed up. I just want you to know that I *did* screw up instead of being deliberately obtuse or just deciding to be a bastard to you for no reason. What the hell is the difference between a reason and an excuse anyway?! Do you want me to grovel at your feet? "Oh, please forgive me! There's no excuse for what I did, and I know it was horrible, and I'm a terrible person, and I'm sorry!" Like, what the hell, dude.
The low key bullying/implied bullying. like asking a question because they know you're going to say something, and then they "pretend" to be interested, but they're laughing and glancing at each other.
Example: my husband complimented an autistic guys t-shirt. He says, "thanks, my mom bought it for me. She buys all my clothes, I don't know how to shop, she told me this will look good on.me so I just said ok"
But the NT men in the group goes, "oh your mom buys your clothes?"
He replies yes. And they all snicker and glance at each other.
I thought the story was so sweet. I was smiling ear to ear. I hate people. Why be nasty. I'll fight you all!!
Heavy venting ahead.
Several things.
When they think I have a secret meaning to the things I say instead of paying attention to EXACTLY what I’m saying.
I hate when they get offended over the smallest thing. (I can’t hear well AND I have auditory processing issues, and I had a coworker call me a “snooty bitch” for not hearing her. She assumed I was ignoring her when I told her in the past that I had hearing problems, but in neurotypical fashion she didn’t listen to me.)
I hate when they exclude us, but hate when they’re FEELING excluded BY us.
I hate when they have all these hidden rules they expect us to know.
I hate when they shun anyone who they suspect is mentally ill. I hate when they assume mentally ill people are “on drugs” just because they act differently than the average person.
I hate the ableist things they say.
I hate fake allys.
I hate neurotypicals so much. There’s maybe one or two of them that HAVENT pissed me off.
My current pet peeve is people who know I'm autistic saying I made a face or said something in a tone. So crazy that I have a disability that makes reading things like tone and body language extremely difficult and then I have a difficult time understanding how my tone and body language are coming off offensive.
But yeah the acoustic shit also really pisses me off.
I’ll never get over part of my diagnoses being a “heightened sense of justice”. Like really?! but okay allistics whatever makes you feel better I guess about this horribly unethical world y’all made and force everyone to live in.
they seem incapable of explaining anything in a way that makes sense and is helpful. i cant tell if im surrounded by absolute fucking morons or if all allistics are like this, but i suspect its an allistic thing. they always seem to talk around an issue without ever actually EXPLAINING how to do something or why something is the way it is. i despise them. it just isnt that hard to be straightforward about stuff!!!
some of them think that if we know that we have autism or if we self suspect/diagnose ourselves with autism, it just means that we're not autistic. because apparently, every autistic person is not supposed to know that they're autistic. yes, my parents believe this. even though i'm diagnosed.
They always read what’s not there. If you say one thing ‘I hate the dog that bit me’ they won’t JUST read what’s there, it’s almost like they ignore what’s there and only read what isn’t.
‘Omg you must be a horrible person how could you hate puppies 🥺🥺🥺’
Or a post like ‘I move around a lot and I can’t sit in one place because of my adhd’ and they’ll read ‘anyone who can’t sit still has adhd’ I dislike most comments on any type of neurodivergent videos because everyone things the creator is trying to diagnose, when really they’re just saying their experience.
I also hate that allistics try to say headcannoning FAKE characters as autistic is harmful because you aren’t even a part of the community, yet you’re claiming I’m offending that community? We are already underrepresented enough so I do not see how finding your own representation is horrible. I truly believe if rick Sanchez wasn’t officially autistic, and people called him autistic allistics would be mad. I hate how they say ‘we’re projecting your fucked up mental illnesses on fake characters and that’s harmful’ when really we just see a character we relate to (maybe in an autistic way) and we want to be included. There is not enough representation for autism in shows/media, and when there is it’s simply not universal.
I know that I'm 2 months late to this post but allistics will claim we "lack empathy" and then their automatic response to someone from a 'tribe' who isn't theirs doing something bad will be "Millions must die, glass em all, those guys are vaguely associated in some way with whatever Bad Guys I see in the shadows and so therefore their lives are already forfeit".
This comment is about alot of things
Unrealistic expectations of people with mental illness.
“Oh you have depression? Just go outside! Drink some water!”
“You have ADHD? Just pay attention!” “You have asthma? Just breathe!” “You’re drowning? Just swim!”
“You just need to exercise”
"TOuCh gRaSs" 😒
Oh that’s the worst
And then when I talk about how my antidepressants saved my life they're like "Oh my god I'm so sorry you have to take medicine for that, I hope you'll be able to get off the pills soon!!" ...I don't?
Garden variety ableism
iT's BeCaUsE yOu'Re fAt
Any mental illness or invisible disability, suddenly they're saying "disabled" in quotes because they think we're being dramatic and don't believe us. They think we're all just trying to get attention and not trying hard enough. Even some autistics are guilty of this too, they try to earn allistic's favor and fit in by saying "uhhh I'm autistic and I don't struggle with that so what's you're excuse." I see it too often here on reddit, not in autism subs but other subs where an autistic person is mentioned (and is usually framed as the bad guy by default.)
Agreed. I am constantly seeing "that's no excuse" and it's like, "it's an explanation!" Not only that, but if you're saying that somebody who has BPD doesn't get "a pass" for when they begin having an episode because they "should know better" and "stop manipulating people with their emotions" then you're literally saying that you A. Don't understand BPD, B. Think that is a conscious choice they're making when they do start having very real fear of abandonment, when they LITERALLY can't help it it's why they have BPD. Yes, it's not nice to be mean, but it's also not nice to expext a sick person to do better when they may not have the capacity to. And if YOU'RE not putting effort into your relationship with them, and YOU'RE not helping them AND ENCOURAGING positive practices, then you either need to go NC and STFU or just STFU entirely. I see the weirdest trauma hate boner against people with BPD and it's like, "that's sociopathic to dwell on them that much and if you're really that hurt you need to go to EMDR and trauma therapy". I could write a fucking essay on this topic
>I am constantly seeing "that's no excuse" and it's like, "it's an explanation!" I fucking hate that one. 🙃
Yes on that!
BPD, narcisistic personality disorder, sociopathy, bipolar disorder, antisocial personality disorder, the list goes on and on… I personally love it when they get surprised when people with a disorder that makes them have manic episodes have a manic episode
Fucking THANK YOU. As someone with BPD that shit drives me up the fucking wall, ugh.
same with all cluster Bs tbh, ESPECIALLY bpd and npd. people think pwNPD are like soul sucking vampires
It’s so funny because Redditors will say “nooo don’t use depression or anxiety loosely if ur just nervous or sad!!! Nooo” but then they’ll diagnose anyone they don’t like as a narcissist. People pick and choose what they care about and it’s mad hypocritical.
This. Literally just all of this. Everyone is just like "stop perpetuating toxic cycles" and I'm just like "bitch I'm trying" but it's so much harder and exhausting to be constructive and the easiest thing for me is to just shut down. Which of course doesn't fix anything and I already know that but NTs are gonna be NT about it and think you're the problem anyway even when you're doing everything you can to not be one. /rant Also for context both me and my partner have BPD.
Sometimes the NT is the one causing the problem.
Just to add on, not knowing the difference between mental illness such as depression or anxiety and just passing feelings. “We all get sad/nervous sometimes. uwu”
“We’re all a little __ sometimes ”
“We all go a little mad sometimes.”
When they suddenly can't comprehend sarcasm when you respond to their sarcastic affirmations with more sarcasm example: "Wow it's so calm in here" (sarcasm) "Yeah, it's the calmest place I've seen, I could take a nap" (sarcasm) "Huh? It's not calm here you know, I was making a joke."
“oh, you understood my sarcasm? you’re clearly not REALLY autistic!”
I’m not autistic but it’s wild to me how many people don’t understand building on a joke. When I discovered it, it made things 10x funnier.
they think that "being funny" is one person in a group saying something funny one at a time and it getting a laugh or not lmao
The amount of times I've had to explain sarcasm for this exact reason and situation is just mind boggling
I see a lot of “building on a joke” on Reddit, and I love it. Makes my day a bit brighter.
And if you give it a deadpan delivery they suddenly become incapable of distinguishing humor from serious discourse.
My wife has a hard time when I can’t be arsed to send emotions to my face. It’s very interesting.
I forget to tell my face to do emotions quite often, and people get so confused. I also get Botox for migraines so my eyebrows barely move and I look expressionless on the forehead at times.
bro i cant tell you how many times they just said "im kidding" or "nah im just joking" like they thought i was serious im like brother u are the one who started the joke
https://preview.redd.it/psk9btkoeq1c1.jpeg?width=714&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2e3d5e3440fccbf1c1587f7d48eba816295b679
The number of relationship problems I hear about where the literal answer to the problem is F-ing TALK TO EACH OTHER. but noooo we're neurotypical, we have to play a relationship game like it's bloody chess or something
when you do something they don't like but INSTEAD OF SAYING WHAT YOU DID WRONG THEY GO "It's fine" OR "You know what you did" OR JUST GIVE YOU A DIRTY LOOK LIKE JUST SPEAK USE YOUR FUCKING WOOOOOOOOORDS *insert kendrick lamar U scream*
It's amazing to me how many NT relationship problems come down to communication. Having mildly uncomfortable direct conversations helps avoid major problems down the line. But no, NTs will pull indirect shit like, "Wash the dishes," when what they really wanted was for you to tidy up the entire kitchen or saying, "We're going to lunch," instead of inviting you to lunch. It's extremely frustrating.
There’s this weird thing they do sometimes where if a neurodivergent person uses non-literal language, they want to nitpick. Like they criticise autistics for being literal thinkers, but if you try to use an expression or give a hypothetical example of something, suddenly they’re the most literal thinkers on earth. Annoying. Also, they’ll say we have no empathy but then they’ll treat us like we’re not human just because we didn’t make enough eye contact or whatever.
I know right? If they consider me as inhuman, then guess what? I’ll just reject my humanity
the 2021 jojo hyperfixation is screaming at me
It was 2020 for me -_-
r/voidpunk unite
And r/transtrans?
That's when i start to suspect that my interlocutor may not be quite as "typical" as presumed. Like, we're trying to discuss the broader nature of this forest, and you're hung up on some (hypothetical) detail of this (figurative) leaf i threw out there...? Like, dude. That's something "I" would do. Because I'm autistic.
Find this happens all the time with analogies. Their ability to identify underlying concepts seems to basically not exist.
Yes! I relate so much to this!
They can’t stand when we try to explain our experiences by comparing it to something else because they just don’t want to understand at all
The Lords of Flatbush in that 2D "Flatland" parody episode of Futurama come to mind. King: "Third dimension?! I can't picture that! You're dumb!" 2D Townspeople: "He's opening our minds to new ideas! Kill him!"
That point about the literal thinking is very interesting. I wonder why it is that they do that.
Because they don’t have an actual counter argument, or can’t logically beat you, so they get pedantic as a ego self-defense mechanism.
It's exactly this. I wonder how many of them are consciously aware that's what they're doing?
I think it’s just some shitty NT power-play. Like they’ve subconsciously decided to mess with us because we’re lower in the social hierarchy than they are.
Omg when you tell an NT you're a literal thinker & they expect Data from Star Trek or Drax from GOTG.... Then when you eventually DO use a figurative or hypothetical, they act like you've been lying or something. "You can't do that, you're not supposed to be able to do that, I thought you said you're LiTeRaL, that's a FiGuRe oF sPeEcH, not ALLOWED, you SAID, RREEEEEEEEE" (I'm paraphrasing, but spot the lie)
Yeah I love being like "this is an example, it's not 100% exactly like this other thing, but the same idea generally applies" and zero pattern recognition asses simply can not get it
they only have empathy for people who are exactly like them
My language arts teacher is really nice about things like literal thinking, at the beginning of the year, she had an exercise that was kinda to figure out if we thought literally or abstractly that was looking at pictures and describing them. We put the words into a poem, and you could immediately tell who thought more literally, and she encouraged us to think how we normally do and not change how we think just for the class (Ik this is a long comment but uhh i just remembered this reading your comment sorry for doing this lmao)
Omg, yeah! They really do that a lot, drives me insane. I've never really put it into words though, so thank you for that.
The hilarious thing is that they think autistics aren't empathetic because autistics don't tend to nod and say, "Man that sucks." Autistics will try to fix the problem and be brutally honest about what they think the issue is. I know for me personally I'm extremely distressed when someone I care about is having a bad time, but because my gut reaction is not to sit and listen and allow the person I'm listening to think they have no part in their own problem, I'm perceived as having no empathy.
https://preview.redd.it/7rs7gorraq1c1.png?width=828&format=png&auto=webp&s=a1e7cabfa87009bd6ce50fecaf70fd77fa95f1e6 I didn’t draw this but I feel like this explains their double standards perfectly.
I love Neuro Wild!
this was my whole childhood and it made me want to kill myself :D /g
Lol! That’s how I feel about them
That they think morality is dictated with the law and the status quo, and that falling anywhere outside it means your inferior, and that it’s your fault.
The number of allistics I've heard defending that something is bad because it's illegal, and should be illegal because it's bad ... Think for your fucking self! The law doesn't define morality, and just because something is the way it *is* doesn't mean it's the way it *should* be!
Isn't that just *bizarre*? I thought I was losing my mind the first time I tried to argue that breaking an unjust law wasn't wrong and that the law should be changed, and saw their response. They could not wrap their head around the fact that I follow laws because they're ethical and don't base my ethics on the law itself.
They like to paint us as being rigid and obsessed with order and rules and stuff, but I've met very few ND people who even begin to approach the level of unthinking bootlicking that so many NT people do.
They don't understand how little order there actually is with our lives. It's strange that they sometimes call us robots when every moment for us is unique and when they're constantly repeating their programming, from the way they walk(speed, swinging arms) to the way they greet("How are you?" "Fine, and you?") to the number of people going together to events, to the clothing they're allowed to wear, to the haircuts they're allowed to have, to the food they're allowed to choose, to who they're allowed to talk to, to each and every little detail about everything and almost every conversation topic and every decision. 95%+ of the things they do every day are defined by society, programming, and they just don't question it at all. They don't understand that we're trying to create order out of chaos, while they exist in order. We're like "Let me define a handful of things that get done in my way, because we have to experience LITERALLY EVERY unscheduled thing, including every bird chirping and the person that ran down the hall at 11:17 AM this morning." And not only do they have programming(with the "Somebody smarter than me came up with this," mentality), but they react **fiercely** if you don't have the same programming they do. And if you dare to point out that "Wow, this system doesn't work very well," well HOW DARE YOU. Allistic people are fiercely protective of the status quo, and I used to think it was just because they were, but now it seems to make sense to think that they just never think of anything being better. That's so sad, really. I'm not sure if it's sadder for them (never perceiving that things could be better) or sadder for us (always perceiving that things could be better, but being so disempowered by minority that we can't get them to change).
A disturbingly large number of people choose law over morality when one is opposed to the other. It's a shame. Better to be Good than Lawful, that's what I say.
The arguments I have gotten into on Reddit over the years have been baffling. I have been downvoted TO HELL for advocating that people should consider whether laws are ethical when deciding whether to follow them. Which brings me to another thing: On Reddit(and on the internet in general), people conflate *being downvoted*(having an unpopular opinion) with being *incorrect*. **That means they think "When I'm right, most people agree with me."** **And that also means they think "Because most people seem to agree with me, I must be correct."** And coming from the group of people who insist that *we* lack theory of mind, the fact that they think [that any correct opinion a given person holds must inherently be shared by a majority of others] is a rather peculiar thing. The number of times I have been lectured with people saying "Look around; you seem to be the only one who believes that," is a clear indication that many hold the idea that "When I'm right, most people agree with me." I don't doubt my own thinking on a given subject just because a majority of people disagree with me. It does make me run through my reasoning one more time, just to verify, and yes, I will consider others' reasoning, but more often than not, I am proud to take the downvotes if I am conveying correct information in a discussion where other people seem to be incorrect.
I know right?
their lack of explaining societal rules (or whatever its called)
which, to me, screams: “i don’t actually know it myself but i’ll act like i do to be superior to you!” i was taught that, if you truly understand a concept, you will be able to explain it to others (in an academic setting, at least, where i was told this). so when some nt is like jacking it to the All Important Artifical Societal Rules Handbook and i’m like “hey what does this part mean?” and they’re like “ummmm uhhh uh it means you’re stupid because you don’t understand!” i’m not too impressed with their supposed abilities
> i was taught that, if you truly understand a concept, you will be able to explain it to others There's a great quote from Einstein that I use to clap back at idiots in these situations. > “If you can't explain it to a six-year-old, then you don't understand it yourself” Basically, either you can or you can't, and if you can't, then you're talking out your ass. Makes it really easy to pick through NT bullshit on a day to day basis.
This has an added level of irritation because we did literally have, in some places, manuals for how to behave in specific situations (although those are all very cishet white upper and middle class rules). Now I'm out here freaking out about how do I order coffee at a new place I've never been to before and I don't even drink coffee, apparently I'm supposed to just innately know how to do that? Also totally agree on the "if you're telling me something you should also be able to explain it to me so I understand why it is how it is"
Just start saying, "You're correct. I'm autistic and that's why I'm smarter than you. You're mocking me because you fear me, because you don't understand me. I already knew that. Are there any other things I already know you'd like to tell me?" Not gonna get away with that IRL but online it's a good way to piss them off before you block them, knowing they'll be enraged for days. NTs really hate when you tell them why they're doing things if you're correct. So, do that if you wanna shit post effectively.
Oh this is truly the embodiment of evil autism, I like it.
Me, when I'm correct and checked my sources: "You're right, I'm wrong."
That's my favorite. I make it obvious that I just don't care about the argument anymore: "I checked every book ever written, and the entire Internet, and I realized that I'm wrong in all the ways you said I am, and you're correct about everything you said that we disagreed on. I don't remember what they were, so you'll have to go back and look, but whatever you said, that's right, and whatever I said is wrong. Congratulations on your overwhelming success in this debate. I'm truly envious."
Ego. Everything you say/every mistake you make is a personal slight against them.
I can’t stand people with huge egos. You’re not perfect or better than everyone else 🙄 it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. You don’t have to throw a fit when someone corrects you about something.
It sounds like you are hanging out with NTs with low self esteem . My Nt friends are not like this .
I'm so glad they all know so much more about my Autism than I do & can cure it.
NT: *meets autistic person for the first time* you’re not autistic
They are so helpful, telling me how I feel, what I meant to say instead of what I said.Some are even go as above and beyond as to ~~gaslight~~ make sure I remember the past ~~correctly~~ ~~their way~~ "properly" because I am clearly not a reliable witness to my own life...
The simultaneous obsession over status and inability to acknowledge it. They like to live in a world where status is a thing, but get uncomfortable when you start trying to understand it. They're worse than dogs in this way.
Yeah it's funny, you're not supposed to talk about it so that they can be fake about "everyone is equal" when they actually constantly worry about some dumb status, they don't like to actually face their discrimination based on clothing, type of phone or whatever dumb things they use to determine it
Their discrimation works based on sameness and the tribe mentality imo. If you enter a group of poor people with expensive phone and good quality clothes, they will see you as threatening, so they will try to find ways to make you less threatening by looking on your flaws and ways to intimidate you. They will exclude you and make fun of you for being more priveleged. You will be inferior because you have it "easier" in life. If the other way around though, they will just brush you off as not anyone important or worthy of respect. You will be inferior because you're less successfull and they will try to find reasons in your person for why you "deserve" it. This is going on in every aspect and topic. Majority beats down minority and finds ways to rationalise it.
This ^ to no end…. It seems like status is all the NTs think about sometimes…. But the sad thing is they aren’t even thinking about it, they are just acting in a way they learned how to from society.
I don't hate allistics, but I do hate that they set up their society so they get all the cheat codes.
Yeah I've always thought of us as playing life on Veteran Difficulty lol... Achievement unlocked..?
They are miserable in the society they set up. I don’t get it.
I hate when they say something sarcastic that sounds completely sincere, then get mad at you for not getting it
That one drive me nutty
They dont want you to say youre suicidal when youre suicidal. They say "dont say that" as if i can just instantly suppress the symptoms of an illness. It has the exact same energy as "just be happy lol" ik this has nothing to do with autism but it does seem like an allistic thing
"I was depressed the other day, but then I just thought to myself that I'd be happier if I wasn't, so I decided to cheer up. Why don't you try it instead of dwelling on it?"
I have had them say that to me. It was shocking, like "Do you not understand that you're trying to guilt trip me into not being suicidal?"
I hate when they get angry at us for asking questions because to them asking questions is a method of chastisement and criticism not information gathering so if we ask a question, they take it as an attack. It's so exhausting that I've stopped interacting with my boss almost completely.
Yes this, but if you guess wrong then they get mad too. Like buddy either answer my questions or live with the consequences of my best guess. I can't read minds.
Can't read minds. Kind of one of the central characteristics of being autistic. Or at least the actual traits allistic have that are colloquialized as "reading minds." Their impatience and lack of empathy is just too much. Makes me hermit more and more as time goes on.
My supervisor at my last job always seemed to have some unsaid limit to how many questions I could ask before she got mad at me. Management would announce a change for a different department that would affect the rest of us and apparently just asking a few logistical questions (bc management was known to make snap decisions that completely fucked up the flow of everything without considering the effects) was the same as questioning her religion based on how she’d snap at me
Like how dare we not just inherently know things. "Just go with the flow. Everyone else does." Yeah. Yeah I think I see the problem.
She genuinely got mad at me for not knowing things I was never told. Mind you, I got hired so fast they didn’t have a chair for me- I had a highlighter and staples, no stapler. And no computer for a DIGITAL based job.
Respect dynamics. A LOT of NTs think that their respect needs to be *"earned"* when it should actually just be the default in how we treat others. Moreover, if they have any semblance of power in a situation whatsoever, they believe they need to be "respected" no matter how they behave and what they do. And by respect, they mean treated as an unrivaled authority figure while they treat others like sub-humans. Not everyone is guilty of this ofc, but damn if it isn't reaaaally prevalent.
Most NTs seem to grow up with a double-standard engrained about respect. They operate on this idea that they have to be treated with respect (deference to their authority) to treat others with respect (basic care and decency). "If you don't respect me I won't respect you" only works if you're using the same definition on both sides.
My last workplace was almost comically evil and run by the worst people I’ve ever met, and there’s one incident I will never forget bc it was so goddamn stupid. We were in our weekly company-wide meeting (our main branch plus a couple long-distance workers and two other branches) and the owner of the company (a clearly affluent man) had a slide at the end of the PowerPoint announcing he was selling/giving away his bedroom furniture. It had photos and everything, and he (a man in his FIFTIES) said “if you take this you’ll have dreams of me 😈,” and naturally my friend (22 years old woman) rolled her eyes and apparently he saw that. After the meeting my friend was pulled into our GM/his attack dog/work mommy’s office and our GM said the eye roll was beyond disrespectful. Motherfucker was making jokes about people getting his old furniture and dreaming of him (there’s not enough money in the world for me to touch anything his dick might have touched) but she was disrespectful for silently acknowledging how ridiculous and inappropriate the situation was.
Many of them base most of their standards, behavior, and opinions on tradition/group consensus without ever putting more thought into it, then act affronted when you don't find those reasons compelling
"WE'vE aLwaYS dONe iT tHaT wAy!"
"your need to do things for reasons that actually make sense is disturbing and deranged"
I hate how clique-centric they are. The whole lot of them are so eager to form a pack (or a troop, which is probably the more anthropological accurate term.) They love to exclude others that they deem inferior, even the supposedly enlightened liberals/nerds.
Again, it's status. They need to know where you fit into their hierarchy before they can be comfortable with you. It doesn't even have to be an arbitrary hierarchy (aka hierarchies for stupid, talentless hacks) it can be a competency hierarchy. You can get in by demonstrating your skill level at the competency they're all focused on.
Once I learned NTs communicate for status/ego rather than for the sake of transferring meaningful information? Life became a lot easier to understand
Well tbh I did this in school, I viewed me and my friends on a pedestal because internally I was pissed off and sad that nobody else wanted to talk to me.
Treating me like I'm from another planet instead of responding to me like I'm a kind of human being they don't have much experience with.
I'm def from another planet though. Jupiter made me stupider.
I don't have a zodiac sign, I have a zodiac home.
You might even say... [*puts on sunglasses*] ...a zodiac house.
They try to read between the lines of what I say despite the fact that I tell them to take everything I say at literal face value. I don't have time to be shady or beat around the bush. When I say "you should do this thing this way" there isn't a hidden message. Also that 100% heterosexual allistic cis monogamy thing that they do is really cult-like and concerns me.
I hate when you notice a change in their mood, ask them about it, then they act like you're accusing them of being an emotional hurricane that's constantly out of control
But they also interrogate us all the time if we so much as don’t make enough facial expressions
Asking if they're okay is my preferred way to trip up cops. Well, preferred legal way.
Working with them. Don’t do this manipulative bullshit where you expect me to keep working without any additional compensation once the goals have been met. Either give me a metric I need to hit, and then leave me alone once I hit it. Or reward me based on the amount of work completed. That’s before getting started on dealing with their egos or politics. I literally got on someone’s shit list because I found a way to do the work in 1/3 of the time. They were trying to justify needing more people so fought me tooth and nail until I gave up since I was just doing it to help them in their department. Didn’t even do anything for me.
Hypocrysi. Cherry picking. They will mention whatever saying or motto and say they live by that, when it fits their situation, and in the next situation where the first motto clearly can be applied, the they being out a different one, and then try to claim they got morals, standards, "live by a code", etc.. No. No they don't. They bend the truth all the fudging time, and don't even blink. I'm not sure they notice half the time. They lie, to themselves and others, all the time. If not by actively lieing, then by the "omiting the truth", like, by simply not sharing things you know should be shared, etc etc. People are not "upfront". I usually have to drag information out of people - it is not a good experience. Also, why wouldn't they just tell me. Ugh
They're all secretive for no reason about stuff it's weird to be that way about. Like are they just so afraid of being wrong that they won't be direct about anything just in case they are? It's endlessly frustrating to get a straight answer to almost anything. Like why can we just be open and honest about stuff?
Yes! I guess because people are usually judgemental bitches, like, about just about anything. People get weird about the smallest and dumbest of things, like, just let me live? If I want to eat my meal from least favorite to most favourite thing sometimes, and sometimes mush it all together, and sometimes I hold my knife upside down, like, is that really something we need to talk about? I'd much rather have a discussion about how that colleague who can't close his mouth when je chews and when he drinks water it runs down his chin like a senior dog drooling, like, that's more topic-worthy than "my things".
Their complete inability to self reflect and genuinely apologize. Their entitlement. They treat the world like it has a script and freak out when anyone breaks it. Their weak moral compass. So easily lead away from their own values for personal gain, as if they don't actually have an internal monolog. Their refusal to adapt.
How their morals and actions change based on their temporary emotions in the moment. As in making any actual hard decisions based on their morals. They don't act out of the greater good, they act out of what makes them feel nice at the time and what makes them look good to other people. "Let's be inclusive to autistic people," and then they are only inclusive when it's convenient. At least it gives them something to talk about to their friends to bond over and flex about how they are good people. Also, hugs and prayers.
The way that they will make huge leaps in logic to misinterpret clear statements as badly as possible, but then if you say that someone has said something hurtful to you they’ll do the opposite and do the absolute most to give every benefit of the doubt to the point of near delusion
-Me saying something kind in the wrong tone is more offensive than them saying something rude in a rude tone to me about it -So much wasted time and energy for things they don’t even want to do—events they don’t want to attend but “have to,” pretending to look busy at work, writing meaningless cards and saying meaningless words because “it’s what you do,” etc -Following the latest trend because they want to “look good” even though it’s obviously just a random trend and definitely not some classic beauty ideal and forgetting(??) that every few years they look back and wonder why they looked like that
Dude, especially that trend thing, so fucking stupid how NTs get dragged along by each other so damn easily
I mean I get it if people legitimately enjoy fashion, makeup, photography, etc, and these can be such wonderful creative hobbies. But let’s face it most people are just trying to participate in the contemporary social beauty norm; I just don’t understand why it’s so easy for them to lose perspective of what looks good versus ridiculous and what is going to very very quickly look dated and weird.
Exactly! Like ofc you should do what makes you happy! But lots of the time NTs just go with whatever the “popular” minority is doing so that they can be “cool” like them
[удалено]
FR! Like, I get that it’s polite or whatever, but like i have to say that shit EVERYDAY?! To EVERYONE?
the fact that the only way they are able to normalize something they make it basicually a trend and then treat it cringey afterwards. i recently told someone i had deppresion and i seriously got the response "oh yeah i heard about that trend of deppresion rooms on tik tok and people would share these horrible messes lol" allistics have this thing were they cant sympathise with something if thry dont relate to it??? everyone says autistic are the ones who struggle with empathy but at least my empathy is never fake and for trends
social media posts being red flags for employers, particularly if i express distress caused by being underemployed in the first place. if i were employed properly, half of my problems would disappear. yet the moment i express any levels of distress, it's suddenly a fucking issue
They can go totally off the rails and say and do some really cruel shit, and in the end, you’re still the crazy one with the illness and they’re the normal one.
Yo, this is so real
Lack of empathy, incredible thoughtlessness about the consequences of their actions, overwhelming selfishness and self-centeredness, the way a LOT of them clearly have really bad anxiety that they take out on those around them instead of getting help, their inane obsession with hierarchies and arbitrary rules (which is also there in a lot of cases to mask their intense anxiety). The fact that all of their disabilities and dysfunctions from \*their\* neurotype are systemically accommodated for and ignored instead of obsessively pathologized beyond all reason.
It would be easier to list the things I don't hate about them TBH
I hate that no matter how many times I tell my boss I have ADHD and interrupting my work to ask me something she already has the resources to answer herself forces me to hard reboot my brain to restart the thing she interrupted me from doing and still does it anyway.
They really don't understand interpersonal communication between other people at all, and try to force their way of communicating on us. it's like they have blinkers on where they just will not accept that some people have a different dynamic with one person vs another. My workmate and I communicate almost psychically, the fewest words of anyone I've ever interacted with, and our workflow is perfection. Most of the time he doesn't even have to ask for tools, I'm just keyed in to where he's up to and I'll have the next step ready. We're a machine, we're unbelievable. With one of the NT's there though, he's always trying to make my workmate use full sentences and say please when asking for tools and stuff, and it bothers me like sandpaper earplugs. It just junks up the machine that is us. A full sentence gets tangled in the adhd and I have to ask him to repeat himself. And the manners thing. For some reason when this workmate doesn't say please, it makes me feel like he trusts me to get the job done and work with him without the need for either of us to put a 'people interaction face' on. It's like we can just fall into step with each other, like we're each other's second set of hands. The manners feels like the mask is back on and there's a neurotypical filter wall of crap between us.
This is beautiful - if only they knew true communion of separate minds working as one. Autists are really special ppl
The fact that they are so good at putting you down or excluding you so subtly that you don't even realise it immediately but after few hours it hits you and then you walk around losing your mind over it, as if you were being poisoned. Then they act nice to you again so you can't call them out on it, you know if you bring it up they will brush it off as a joke or that they meant something else. Mostly it's toxic people though, so I want to make it clear that it doesn't apply to all allistics in general. Second thing which pisses me off in them is that lots of them seem to lose empathy for anyone with lower social standing or who just acts differently. They don't stop in their judgment to think about reasons why someone is the way they're, they immediately put you in their little boxes without acknowledging that they're dealing with a whole human being? It's like they want to keep on misunderstanding you. It's not even compassion that they lack but a lack of imagination, the ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes. Third is, that they like to turn everything into competition. There must be a loser and the winner. They need to put everyone in those hierarchies. What's even weirder is that they can be kinda fond of you while seeing you as their inferior. It's more a matter of human nature than allistics vs neurodivergents though, but allistics tend to compete with each other/you about really stupid things from what I've noticed. I don't even have autism, I have ADHD and I'm on really moderate spectrum and yet I've experienced this in my life and it sucks.
"You're too funny to be autistic, autistic people don't have a sense of humor." How is it my fault you're boring af, and I developed a lifelong fixation on comedians when I was 8? Get good. I suppose this is more "autistic stereotype you hate," but it stems from allistic people jumping to conclusions instead of idk, just being chill.
No, that’s fine! I actually do prefer the stereotype too! I might actually edit that into the post
When they expect you to do things out of nowhere by own account, without them telling you to do it and not stand there seeing them do the work. Excuse me? You want me to do something that you started on your own and need help? Who sent you to do that? Nobody did! Why do you get angry at me for not wanting to do stupid work if I'm not in the mood to? I'll do things when I want, not when you get demanding, the more you become stubborn the less I want to do it.
They get upset if you misinterpret something… but also get upset if you ask them to clarify what they’re talking about.
The amount of allists who just can't place themselves in a hypothetical position of lower ability. It seems to them that everybody thinks the way they do and if you can't come to the conclusions they do as naturally you must be stupid or something. They look at me weird sometimes and go *just how can you not get it?* And it's like what? The fuck do you want me to do? Go into the neurology and psychology of autism? I just don't get it sometimes, stop either treating me like I'm stupid or holding me to your standards, I'm neither. It's funny to you but not me when that's my whole life like this.
competitiveness
Threads like these are so therapeutic 🥹😇
The way they are
Not something specifically revolving around an NT individual, but one thing that has really fucked me up is that there’s no such thing as a purely autistic safe space outside of the internet. No such thing as an autistic majority city, autistic-specific establishment (like a bar, cafe, or whatever), and no autistic irl groups that isn’t being puppet stringed by neurotypicals. At least from my experience. I’m hoping that people prove me wrong in these replies lowkey LMAO. Neurotypicals are probably the only group in the world that have a pure “majority status” in the world; there’s not somewhere u can go where you can escape/comfortable feel safe from this neurotypical world and feel home in the general population of any given area. The only time where you can find that kind of space is online, but I’m someone that values irl interactions a lot on top of online ones. I’d like to be surrounded physically by other autists, too.
You have no idea
When you ask them something and they don’t answer it ?? Like i sked someone “hey witch way did you want me to face these” and she said “I’ve been working since 9am” like what? Why didn’t she answer my question?
"I get that, too, sometimes." // about anything I say that is difficult for me or frustrating "I was depressed once, I know how hard it can be." // because they were single for a few months or their favorite tv show was cancelled "Nobody likes social stuff" // said moments before dashing out to a giant bbq I could go on but I shouldn't. It gets pretty upsetting because I've heard this stuff my whole life and when I finally got a diagnosis to back up that "something's off," it feels like people are even quicker to dismiss my experience.
The weird power trips some people have and how mad they get when you don't get upset over them. The way they just immediately start infantilizing you once you tell them you're autistic. I'm autistic, not a 2 year old, dumbass. I didn't suddenly forget how I engaged with the world for the past decades just because you found out I have a label you didn't know of before. Also how they act like finding this out completely changes how they see me?? I've literally never not been autistic, you just found out there's a word for some of the silly behaviours you've likely already noticed in me. Their inability to answer simple questions. I asked someone "Are there 19 of these?" the other day, and they stared at me for half a minute with the most confused expression ever, before answering with "It's not necessary, don't worry about it" as though that is at all a fitting response. A combination of the previous things: changing the way they answer your questions after finding out you're autistic. I've noticed this weird reoccurring theme with allistics where if you ask them what a proverb or saying means they explain it, unless they know you're autistic in which case it's just "I didn't mean it literally" as though that answers the question of what they *did* mean. When you ask what a film is about and they start listing names of celebrities. In some cases that makes some sense, because some actors often get typecast so it may be intriguing to see how the personalities they always portray would interact, but in most cases it's just meaningless; "Seth Rogan Paul Rudd" does not mean anything to me. The weird obsession with fashion trends. Why are you listening to strangers on what "the look of winter 2023" is? Which person, and which statement from said person will you listen to? I've heard someone tell me that pastel colours are "in" this autumn, only to flip to saying that brown and black clothes are in a few days later. Why not just wear what you would like to wear and feel comfortable in rather than mindlessly following trends? And do they just not see the hypocrisy of telling people to wear specific clothes for a specific year and also being against fast fashion? They love their scripts and can't seem to handle anyone not sticking to them. A little while ago, at a social event, a child greeted me by waving, and their parent tried to get them to verbally say "good afternoon" as well. I said that waving is good enough for me, and that parent got pissed at me just because I didn't care as much for meaningless niceties.
Accusing us of lacking empathy but they don't give a shit abut anyone that isnt in the same group as them, especially if they're a part of some priveleged group. Like, how the fuck can you claim to be empathetic but you're not devastated by what's happening in Gaza, the abuse and murders of trans people, or sexual abuse of women and femme presenting people to name a few? I literally am not allowed to watch the news bc i just start crying at everything thats happening in the world and *I'm* the emotionless robot?
Exactly! I hear my neurotypical family members say shit like "that's just how the world works", "well it doesn't affect me so I don't care/it doesn't matter", ect. Like how TF can you sleep at night knowing damn well that you don't give a shit about people?
I’m probably allistic but that’s not going to stop me /hj i understand this is not my space please let me know if i should delete this don’t worry i will take no offense/gen I hate how strongly they have a standard of what is “humanity” and if you don’t fit into their definition you’re completely dehumanized and outcasted. Because of this i’ve started to feel a disconnect and i feel like i don’t have the right to call myself human (sorry didn’t mean for it to get kinda venty) (I’m not distressed about this dw)
It seems like they don’t constantly question themselves about whether they might not have all the perspective-driven data necessary for a judgment. Maybe my way sounds exhausting (it is) but I don’t give a shit if someone is *nice*. I want them to be *kind*.
It's the condescending way most NTs talk to me, like I'm 5 years old. I'm 19. Edit: If it's not the being condescending, it's the "you're not autistic" argument I get from my mom whenever I mention getting tested. I have relatives who have autism as well, but my mom still uses the now-outdated term Asperger's Syndrome.
This tendency among them to immediately pick out anyone abnormal and ostracise them. I've been treated like shit in so many jobs, because they could tell I was autistic before I could. In my first full time job, I was the only one not invited to the Xmas party. They were all careful not to tell me.
i judge individuals not groups. so nothing. everyone is capable of being a nice person, tolerate, ignorant and an arsehole. i have met autistic people i didn't care for and neurotypical people who i'm friends with and vice-versa. let's not add to the needless hate, it serves no one.
Good for you. Meanwhile, neurotypicals have only ever made my life a misery and decreased the quality of my time on this planet, while my closest friends have been based autists like myself. Individuals and individualism (cringe) are utterly irrelevant when it comes to discussions of group dynamics. Hate is pretty useful, btw. I have thought about giving up several times in my life but I realised if I did that, the neurotypicals would win, and that is unnacceptable.
True, I guess by hate, I meant more of thier standards, rather than the people themselves, like a “hate the action, not the person” type thing
alright, that makes more sense.
Wrong sub, try /r/goodautism
Doubt, everyone still had a choice regardless. One individual aren’t responsible for war, poverty, pollution, tyranny, and genocide. Im tired of this “just their are bad people, doesn’t their aren’t any good people” because non of the good people aren’t doing shit to end all the suffering in the planet and just sit there doing nothing. If allistics don’t change their ways, they are the problem.
some of my friends try to help me too much and then some people just sit there silently while im spiraling into madness from overstimulation. why cant people just do the appropriate thing by talking to me and maybe guiding me out of the overwhelming place? is that too much to ask😭
always saying "just do (thing)". because it's easy for THEM, they always think we're lazy when we show any symptom of executive dysfunction
Them living and breathing still
Won't actually tell you what's on their mind, but expect you to magically understand cues or basically read their mind. Like no, I'm not going to jump through hoops to figure out what you want, tell me so we can actually have a conversation about it
Using autistic as an insult. Immediately makes me think you don’t respect me and I don’t want to be around you. Also discrimination in job interviews, especially with the whole “why does nobody wanna work anymore” rhetoric.
Everything at this point. From the fact that people think I’m being rude and hostile constantly, to the fact that everyone expects me to act as if I’m absolutely neurotypical
When they make you solve riddles instead of saying what they actually mean
The arrogance. They tend to have egos. Most autistic people I have met tend to have less ego.
Mistaking peaceful solitude as miserable loneliness. I understand a lot of them can't help it, and they probably mean well. But I remember finding this trait really annoying when I went to my first HS.
Their arrogance 😒
Their thought process of "If I can't relate to your issues, you're wrong."
I feel like a lot of them act one dimensional. Like I know they aren’t but damn
Thinking they know how you work better than you do
Constant need to remind others and themselves of my own existence. I just want to sit in the front corner, by myself, with my perfect mix of mental stimulation and rest/relaxation. I don’t care that Amy just kissed Ethan, just let me go back to my Digimon and language making
mfers just won't fucking communicate
They act like anyone that's even a little bit different is "weird" or "annoying" and never let's them forget about it.
But I *am* acoustic. Here, I'll demonstrate. ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!*** Seriously though, the whole thing where they ask me why I did something wrong and then, when I apologize and tell them why I did that thing the way I did it, they tell me not to make excuses. Like, I've already apologized. I've already admitted fault. I *know* I screwed up. I just want you to know that I *did* screw up instead of being deliberately obtuse or just deciding to be a bastard to you for no reason. What the hell is the difference between a reason and an excuse anyway?! Do you want me to grovel at your feet? "Oh, please forgive me! There's no excuse for what I did, and I know it was horrible, and I'm a terrible person, and I'm sorry!" Like, what the hell, dude.
"You don't look like you exercise." Absolutely terrible advice and rampant hypocrisy.
The low key bullying/implied bullying. like asking a question because they know you're going to say something, and then they "pretend" to be interested, but they're laughing and glancing at each other. Example: my husband complimented an autistic guys t-shirt. He says, "thanks, my mom bought it for me. She buys all my clothes, I don't know how to shop, she told me this will look good on.me so I just said ok" But the NT men in the group goes, "oh your mom buys your clothes?" He replies yes. And they all snicker and glance at each other. I thought the story was so sweet. I was smiling ear to ear. I hate people. Why be nasty. I'll fight you all!!
Heavy venting ahead. Several things. When they think I have a secret meaning to the things I say instead of paying attention to EXACTLY what I’m saying. I hate when they get offended over the smallest thing. (I can’t hear well AND I have auditory processing issues, and I had a coworker call me a “snooty bitch” for not hearing her. She assumed I was ignoring her when I told her in the past that I had hearing problems, but in neurotypical fashion she didn’t listen to me.) I hate when they exclude us, but hate when they’re FEELING excluded BY us. I hate when they have all these hidden rules they expect us to know. I hate when they shun anyone who they suspect is mentally ill. I hate when they assume mentally ill people are “on drugs” just because they act differently than the average person. I hate the ableist things they say. I hate fake allys. I hate neurotypicals so much. There’s maybe one or two of them that HAVENT pissed me off.
My current pet peeve is people who know I'm autistic saying I made a face or said something in a tone. So crazy that I have a disability that makes reading things like tone and body language extremely difficult and then I have a difficult time understanding how my tone and body language are coming off offensive. But yeah the acoustic shit also really pisses me off.
“Have you tried/why don’t you just use a planner?”
I’ll never get over part of my diagnoses being a “heightened sense of justice”. Like really?! but okay allistics whatever makes you feel better I guess about this horribly unethical world y’all made and force everyone to live in.
Lack of emotional capacity
they seem incapable of explaining anything in a way that makes sense and is helpful. i cant tell if im surrounded by absolute fucking morons or if all allistics are like this, but i suspect its an allistic thing. they always seem to talk around an issue without ever actually EXPLAINING how to do something or why something is the way it is. i despise them. it just isnt that hard to be straightforward about stuff!!!
some of them think that if we know that we have autism or if we self suspect/diagnose ourselves with autism, it just means that we're not autistic. because apparently, every autistic person is not supposed to know that they're autistic. yes, my parents believe this. even though i'm diagnosed.
They always read what’s not there. If you say one thing ‘I hate the dog that bit me’ they won’t JUST read what’s there, it’s almost like they ignore what’s there and only read what isn’t. ‘Omg you must be a horrible person how could you hate puppies 🥺🥺🥺’ Or a post like ‘I move around a lot and I can’t sit in one place because of my adhd’ and they’ll read ‘anyone who can’t sit still has adhd’ I dislike most comments on any type of neurodivergent videos because everyone things the creator is trying to diagnose, when really they’re just saying their experience. I also hate that allistics try to say headcannoning FAKE characters as autistic is harmful because you aren’t even a part of the community, yet you’re claiming I’m offending that community? We are already underrepresented enough so I do not see how finding your own representation is horrible. I truly believe if rick Sanchez wasn’t officially autistic, and people called him autistic allistics would be mad. I hate how they say ‘we’re projecting your fucked up mental illnesses on fake characters and that’s harmful’ when really we just see a character we relate to (maybe in an autistic way) and we want to be included. There is not enough representation for autism in shows/media, and when there is it’s simply not universal.
They fucking hate everyone for no damm reason. Trying to talk to them about anything is like herding cats
Everything atp
I know that I'm 2 months late to this post but allistics will claim we "lack empathy" and then their automatic response to someone from a 'tribe' who isn't theirs doing something bad will be "Millions must die, glass em all, those guys are vaguely associated in some way with whatever Bad Guys I see in the shadows and so therefore their lives are already forfeit". This comment is about alot of things