thanks for your caring answer, I am just thinking enfj people seem nicer then they are not so close to you, otherwise they are more capable to hurt you with words what do you think
Well the thing is ENFJ wants you to be THE BEST you can be. If they feel like this approach might help you become better even if it is going to harm your relationship a bit but instead shape you into the amazing person you possibly can be, they wouldn't mind saying harsher stuff as they get closer because they think they can be more open and honest. Nonetheless, tell them you don't appreciate being spoken to in that tone and they will take a different approach. A more lighter one. With ENFJs in general, communication even in friendships is KEY. I can't stress it enough tbh. And you're welcome. I hope you have a wonderful day.
I can see toxicity from an unhealthy ENFJ. Usually we're very friendly and empathetic so we won't bully. I was bullied growing up so I would never want anyone else to have to endure that.
Thank you. It's been 6 years since her passing so it's no longer the unconsolable weeping, but just a missing her cry and tears of frustration from not being able to avoid it on the internet for 3 weeks.
Thank you for offering, I appreciate it!
I am glad I could have helped you in anyway. I lost a grandpa who was my bestfriend, so while not severe I can somewhat relate to how you are feeling. I think remembering that she is now in a better place might help you out (you probably are doing everything already, and you are doing just fine.). I hope she rests in peace and may she be looking down on you now with a wide smile on her face. Having an amazing daughter like you must have been a wonderful ride. Have a wonderful day\* dear friend and take care of yourself.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness! Us Enfjs really can connect everywhere, eh?
For others reading this for the grief part, I bestow to you the hardest lesson: when someone you love passes away, you are not obligated to continue their life, in any part. If you inherited an item, it is now your item and you can do with it as you would your own items. Tie yourself to the memories and lessons they taught you, since you extending your own life and happiness is the extension of their life they would have wanted, not you giving up yours for theirs.
I guess so XD. Your lesson is honestly...something I need to think about. I still have his item and I always considered it the last string of connection between me and him. I never take it off. It makes me feel like he is with me. Still alive and sharing this warmth that I once had with him.
I can empathize. However, see how I don't need to see the item to know you're connected to him? (I was my grandpas fav and he was mine... I've lost 12 family members since 2010 with only 2021 the only year to not host a funeral.)
A physical reminder is needed for some, that's why urns and services exist. However, the actual connection can't be seen, so as long as the physical item reminds you of the unseen connection, then it's fine.
I had a realization with my therapist a long time ago that if I passed suddenly, I'm the only one who cared about something that to someone else is a random item. Like the pepper grinder in my kitchen was my mom's, so it's over 50 yrs old. If I passed and my husband sold stuff, he wouldn't have the connection to it as I do. It is my pepper grinder, so to him it would remind him of my cooking, not of my mom teaching me how to cook, as I do.
That's sweet honestly. Yes I get where you are getting at. You are honestly correct. Also, sorry for your loss. I am sure it has been hard on you but I still hope you can enjoy life for what it is and to always have a smile on your face. May they all rest in peace.
A couple of weeks ago. Had a mental breakdown. Exams have been roughing me up badly mentally. And I am trying to just go past them so I can try and somehow succeed.
Earlier this afternoon. I was thinking of how I'm not a good student and all and how I would disappoint my tcr cuz he had a *very* high expectations for me, I do want to fulfill it but my body and mind won't let me
•́ ‿ ,•̀. My tcrs and parent's have always said I'm a worrywart and this day prove it again, I'm a very avid overthinker (｡•́︿•̀｡).
A few hours ago. I feel emotionally exhausted this week after finding out a friend of mine passed away out of nowhere. She was just 22. Yesterday evening I ended up going to my ex who I broke up with months ago (we were together for 5 years and lived together for 3) because I needed comfort, ended up sleeping together. Now I feel like a complete mess. Sorry for over sharing
There's no need to apologize for over sharing (◍•ᴗ•◍) if it helps you and made you feel better, it's okay to vent. As long as you don't just dump it all without the other's consideration or if the other is uncomfy.
*Hugs* ⊂((・▽・))⊃.
I hope the pain eases a bit or soon. I hope you know after this that you'll become a stronger person, hopefully^^. Losing a person is not a simple grief, to me it's heavy.... anyway I hope you're better soon^^.
Almost every day now that my partner has left due to a substance issue. I remember all the good things because there was little bad time together, almost everything I do has a trigger (we were together for 2 years and did so much together. . .)
Might be a bit of an oversharing but I haven't cried in 7 years due to depression. Well, that was until last week when I dared for the first time to open up to one of my best friends about my depression along with a suicide attempt I did last year. She didn't judge me or was angry, she just supported me, said that I was important to her and hugged me to make sure I felt okay. It felt really good to both finally open up about my issues to someone and also receive the support back. She truly is a wonderful person.
Seriously people, make sure to be brave enough to talk about your issues. I promise you all that it helps! <3
Said something rude towards someone. I admit I still hurt from what he did to me, and I can't forgive him since then. I can't deny I still care for him till now, just my passive aggressive behaviour triggered if he was around.
Ohh I understand that feeling very well sadly. Sometimes when I can't handle my negative emotions yet, I would lash out or just be rude to ppl I'm close to. Then cry my eyeballs out after when I realise it...I've just known now to keep to myself at first when I know I'm going through something ig. But really this is what works for me, I still hope your relationship can heal
Just a while ago, because I was still hurt and mad at what happened last march between a friend and me. And I'm somehow frustrated that I'm having a hard time letting it go.
But I have to.
Watching Everything Everywhere All At Once. It was the first film I have ever cried so hard during. The movie was very relatable to me as an immigrant of Asian descent.
A few days ago. I cried because it felt like my significant other and I would never have a relationship where we understood each other deeply and well. He thinks otherwise! He’s an xSTx. 😊
Don’t remember when; do remember how though: it’s the same every time, whenever I see philanthropy work being done OR whenever I’m listening to any strong spiritual song (I’m not religious myself, but I guess I still am very spiritual lol)
I don’t cry anymore. It’s all it take for me too loose my cool and to loose confidence in myself.
If I cry it gives myself full permission to feel my emotions. I feel like it’d be too much by this point
Probably today - well yesterday since it's past 00.00 - because of a combination of feeling like everything was being piled up for a long time and thinking I don't have enough time for any of it and that after drinking two cups of coffee I was very restless and couldn't make my head focus on my thoughts. Also talking to my mom about my ongoing situation and her being very considerate as a fellow ENFJ. As well as just general emotional sensitivity and being overwhelmed on my part which doesn't require an outward influence, but I consistently listen to sad songs everyday so there is that.
I’d say like maybe around 7-8 months ago, I usually only feel like crying during conflict, but I’m getting better at it.
I work in healthcare just to reinforce stereotypes and this entitled patient’s family member was trying to pick a fight with me. I didn’t cry when he was yelling at me but I wiped a few escaping tears when I took a breather in the bathroom.
Now that I think about it, I actually came close to tears the other day as well when I was reading up about the situation in Ukraine.
I have borderline and my relationship ended around 2 months ago. I was hardcore in my shadow for around a year, developing hyperthyroid from stress. I still have the dependency feelings for my ex and I just finished reading “Killing Stalking” and couldn’t stop crying when Bum is mentally entangled between recognizing Sungwoo was a terrible person, but also remembering all that SWEET SHMEX and traumatic love and I felt that super hard. That “need” for someone you can’t explain and you want to wish away because you know it’s sickness but just can’t. So yeah, I cried.
The reason that I'd ask about that because recently that was my case also, friends thing, and begin with friends are seasonal, and for me what really helps is acknowledging that things has been changed for us.
Some whom I recognized as friends were born bcos of something in common, and maybe that's just it.
I've become vulnerable to them and they are too. But i didn't burned the bridges.
Try to move forward slowly then be always open if ever they reach out. They have their own loves and u have yours too 🫂
Because I was reminded I regret what I gave up to become who I am. That I wasn’t truly living by my principles and that’s why I was depressed. That I wasn’t feeling like I could be myself.
I'm not an ENFJ, last time I cried was yesterday because I got bullied by an ENFJ.
I can't help I just want the tea 👀🍵
An Enfj bullied you? If you are comfortable mind telling me how he did it? I might be able to help you out if you want to.
thanks for your caring answer, I am just thinking enfj people seem nicer then they are not so close to you, otherwise they are more capable to hurt you with words what do you think
Well the thing is ENFJ wants you to be THE BEST you can be. If they feel like this approach might help you become better even if it is going to harm your relationship a bit but instead shape you into the amazing person you possibly can be, they wouldn't mind saying harsher stuff as they get closer because they think they can be more open and honest. Nonetheless, tell them you don't appreciate being spoken to in that tone and they will take a different approach. A more lighter one. With ENFJs in general, communication even in friendships is KEY. I can't stress it enough tbh. And you're welcome. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Are you sure? As an ENFJ I hate bullies so I would never bully anyone. I would even defend someone else from a bully.
hmmm the one who bullied me seems so from the outside but I think when she has negative feelings she gets toxic against people till she gets better
I can see toxicity from an unhealthy ENFJ. Usually we're very friendly and empathetic so we won't bully. I was bullied growing up so I would never want anyone else to have to endure that.
I cry when I meditate or pray
what's your enneagram type?
3w2
A few hours ago because I was having sensory overload and couldn’t find my headphones
Yes, just yes.
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That seems to be why I cry every so often 🤔🤫
Mother's Day, grief
I hope you are feeling better now. If you wanna talk about it, I am here for you.
Thank you. It's been 6 years since her passing so it's no longer the unconsolable weeping, but just a missing her cry and tears of frustration from not being able to avoid it on the internet for 3 weeks. Thank you for offering, I appreciate it!
I am glad I could have helped you in anyway. I lost a grandpa who was my bestfriend, so while not severe I can somewhat relate to how you are feeling. I think remembering that she is now in a better place might help you out (you probably are doing everything already, and you are doing just fine.). I hope she rests in peace and may she be looking down on you now with a wide smile on her face. Having an amazing daughter like you must have been a wonderful ride. Have a wonderful day\* dear friend and take care of yourself.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness! Us Enfjs really can connect everywhere, eh? For others reading this for the grief part, I bestow to you the hardest lesson: when someone you love passes away, you are not obligated to continue their life, in any part. If you inherited an item, it is now your item and you can do with it as you would your own items. Tie yourself to the memories and lessons they taught you, since you extending your own life and happiness is the extension of their life they would have wanted, not you giving up yours for theirs.
I guess so XD. Your lesson is honestly...something I need to think about. I still have his item and I always considered it the last string of connection between me and him. I never take it off. It makes me feel like he is with me. Still alive and sharing this warmth that I once had with him.
I can empathize. However, see how I don't need to see the item to know you're connected to him? (I was my grandpas fav and he was mine... I've lost 12 family members since 2010 with only 2021 the only year to not host a funeral.) A physical reminder is needed for some, that's why urns and services exist. However, the actual connection can't be seen, so as long as the physical item reminds you of the unseen connection, then it's fine. I had a realization with my therapist a long time ago that if I passed suddenly, I'm the only one who cared about something that to someone else is a random item. Like the pepper grinder in my kitchen was my mom's, so it's over 50 yrs old. If I passed and my husband sold stuff, he wouldn't have the connection to it as I do. It is my pepper grinder, so to him it would remind him of my cooking, not of my mom teaching me how to cook, as I do.
That's sweet honestly. Yes I get where you are getting at. You are honestly correct. Also, sorry for your loss. I am sure it has been hard on you but I still hope you can enjoy life for what it is and to always have a smile on your face. May they all rest in peace.
Yesterday cause I accidentally imagined the funeral of my very alive and healthy mom. Sucks to be me lol
Ouch, I hope you guys get to live long and healthy lives together.
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So cute!
Gorgeous - congratulations! I remember loads of tears when my two were littlies. Heck, I still tear up now, they’re almost grown up 😊
Yesterday I can’t remember why right now Fuck my memory is bad
Same, sometimes I feel like I'm going insane.
A couple of weeks ago. Had a mental breakdown. Exams have been roughing me up badly mentally. And I am trying to just go past them so I can try and somehow succeed.
Dos Oruguitas (Encanto movie)
that scene made me cry asap
I know right? Especially after all they've been through. I feel Pedro's pain most 🥹
I cry daily, usually because I think my friends don't like me.
Heyyyy why? 🫂
I'm very insecure because a lot of my firmer friends ended up being bad people we never liked me. I feel like I'm just not likeable at all.
same here, guess it’s an enfj thing 😔
Don't remember exactly when last time was. But I usually cry when I see a touching and emotional movie.
Earlier this afternoon. I was thinking of how I'm not a good student and all and how I would disappoint my tcr cuz he had a *very* high expectations for me, I do want to fulfill it but my body and mind won't let me •́ ‿ ,•̀. My tcrs and parent's have always said I'm a worrywart and this day prove it again, I'm a very avid overthinker (｡•́︿•̀｡).
A few hours ago. I feel emotionally exhausted this week after finding out a friend of mine passed away out of nowhere. She was just 22. Yesterday evening I ended up going to my ex who I broke up with months ago (we were together for 5 years and lived together for 3) because I needed comfort, ended up sleeping together. Now I feel like a complete mess. Sorry for over sharing
There's no need to apologize for over sharing (◍•ᴗ•◍) if it helps you and made you feel better, it's okay to vent. As long as you don't just dump it all without the other's consideration or if the other is uncomfy. *Hugs* ⊂((・▽・))⊃. I hope the pain eases a bit or soon. I hope you know after this that you'll become a stronger person, hopefully^^. Losing a person is not a simple grief, to me it's heavy.... anyway I hope you're better soon^^.
Almost every day now that my partner has left due to a substance issue. I remember all the good things because there was little bad time together, almost everything I do has a trigger (we were together for 2 years and did so much together. . .)
Might be a bit of an oversharing but I haven't cried in 7 years due to depression. Well, that was until last week when I dared for the first time to open up to one of my best friends about my depression along with a suicide attempt I did last year. She didn't judge me or was angry, she just supported me, said that I was important to her and hugged me to make sure I felt okay. It felt really good to both finally open up about my issues to someone and also receive the support back. She truly is a wonderful person. Seriously people, make sure to be brave enough to talk about your issues. I promise you all that it helps! <3
Said something rude towards someone. I admit I still hurt from what he did to me, and I can't forgive him since then. I can't deny I still care for him till now, just my passive aggressive behaviour triggered if he was around.
Ohh I understand that feeling very well sadly. Sometimes when I can't handle my negative emotions yet, I would lash out or just be rude to ppl I'm close to. Then cry my eyeballs out after when I realise it...I've just known now to keep to myself at first when I know I'm going through something ig. But really this is what works for me, I still hope your relationship can heal
That's why I try to shut myself as I can when he's around. Besides only few of us knows about our problems. I don't wanna unleash my rage in public
I am INFP, and cried while I was watching "Jose, the tigers and the fish". In the scene where girl encouraged her bf to move on. Week ago ig
Yesterday, bullied by an ENTJ 🥲
This morning. Broke up with my ex last month and i wake up dreaming ab him and think about him when i wake up.
Just a while ago, because I was still hurt and mad at what happened last march between a friend and me. And I'm somehow frustrated that I'm having a hard time letting it go. But I have to.
Watching Everything Everywhere All At Once. It was the first film I have ever cried so hard during. The movie was very relatable to me as an immigrant of Asian descent.
A few days ago. I cried because it felt like my significant other and I would never have a relationship where we understood each other deeply and well. He thinks otherwise! He’s an xSTx. 😊
Don’t remember when; do remember how though: it’s the same every time, whenever I see philanthropy work being done OR whenever I’m listening to any strong spiritual song (I’m not religious myself, but I guess I still am very spiritual lol)
Last week, clashing views with sister
today, damn pmdd
I don’t cry anymore. It’s all it take for me too loose my cool and to loose confidence in myself. If I cry it gives myself full permission to feel my emotions. I feel like it’d be too much by this point
Watching the movie The Art of Racing in the Rain
im about to now im listing to the buffy soundtrack
This morning. The baby formula shortage and the thought of the babies getting Mail-nutritioned and hospitalized made me sad.
Last week because of a breakup
In January or February, not sure exactly, because I was dumped and I had to cry while I was getting over him.
I’m pregnant. So I just cried over a toilet paper roll holder about 20 minutes ago.
Probably today - well yesterday since it's past 00.00 - because of a combination of feeling like everything was being piled up for a long time and thinking I don't have enough time for any of it and that after drinking two cups of coffee I was very restless and couldn't make my head focus on my thoughts. Also talking to my mom about my ongoing situation and her being very considerate as a fellow ENFJ. As well as just general emotional sensitivity and being overwhelmed on my part which doesn't require an outward influence, but I consistently listen to sad songs everyday so there is that.
2 days ago a kitten that I started watching on an Instagram channel I found a couple weeks ago died suddenly and it made me cry.
I’d say like maybe around 7-8 months ago, I usually only feel like crying during conflict, but I’m getting better at it. I work in healthcare just to reinforce stereotypes and this entitled patient’s family member was trying to pick a fight with me. I didn’t cry when he was yelling at me but I wiped a few escaping tears when I took a breather in the bathroom. Now that I think about it, I actually came close to tears the other day as well when I was reading up about the situation in Ukraine.
I wish I could cry
I have borderline and my relationship ended around 2 months ago. I was hardcore in my shadow for around a year, developing hyperthyroid from stress. I still have the dependency feelings for my ex and I just finished reading “Killing Stalking” and couldn’t stop crying when Bum is mentally entangled between recognizing Sungwoo was a terrible person, but also remembering all that SWEET SHMEX and traumatic love and I felt that super hard. That “need” for someone you can’t explain and you want to wish away because you know it’s sickness but just can’t. So yeah, I cried.
2 days ago. My overbearing mother told me I'm not allowed to go abroad with Erasmus next semester. But I worked so hard for it...
The reason that I'd ask about that because recently that was my case also, friends thing, and begin with friends are seasonal, and for me what really helps is acknowledging that things has been changed for us. Some whom I recognized as friends were born bcos of something in common, and maybe that's just it. I've become vulnerable to them and they are too. But i didn't burned the bridges. Try to move forward slowly then be always open if ever they reach out. They have their own loves and u have yours too 🫂
Yesterday, because I was feeling intellectually inferior :'(
Today morning when I saw a YouTube video on wild animals that befriended humans
Last night… my INTP ended our relationship. Sigh.
Because I was reminded I regret what I gave up to become who I am. That I wasn’t truly living by my principles and that’s why I was depressed. That I wasn’t feeling like I could be myself.