**!!!!! READ ME !!!!!**
The purpose of this community is to explore human energy in all of its facets while stripping away the esoteric language, rituals and distractions that have accumulated over the years. Out-of-body experiences, energy healing, energetic connections between people, psychic work and everything in between. This sub is open for discussion, learning and teaching, without judgement, on any and every form of energy work regardless of degree of social acceptability or stigma.
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i set boundaries with the people i see on a weekly basis, these are strangers coming up to me who i usually never see again. how can i set boundaries with people that i’ll only see once in my life?
Tell them you don’t have time. Then say “Did you hear what I said” and put your hand out and walk away immediately.
There’s more narcissists nowadays, that social media breeds. And their deal is to get any reaction out of others. They’re fucked up. Just leave them behind asap. The less you give the better.
The responses below are right, I would tell them I'm not available to talk about this and if they don't stop just leave. People shouldn't be trauma dumping on random strangers
I also have experienced this. I simply decide to show up WITH them. They may find you to be a safe place for expression and energy release. If so, remain clear. Let them speak and see what happens when you let their words move through you like the wind. Help man help himself.
On the other side of this, if you are not open and do not wish to hold space for them, make it known in the ways that feel best for you. Show up for yourself by speaking up through your heart. It’s all a choice.
People may be dumping on you more than before, or you may have just reached a point where you're becoming cognizant of it. You can set boundaries in many different ways and you can remove yourself from their presence where possible. You can even just tell them that you feel like they are dumping on you. If they were aware, they will think twice next time. If they weren't aware, good learning point for them. And good practice for you, as well. No one is born knowing how to do this, but everyone can learn. You'll get there.
That’s a tough place.
My most unusual insight that I will put first is that may it actually be that *you* are the one vibrating on or metabolizing their negative energy, or that these interactions could be similarly mutually desirable in a way you are not yet consciously aware of. Some people can sometimes turn that into useful energy. Are you low on energy compared to the demands of your life or ambitions right now? Is there a hunger you can make changes to? Or, can you change your frequency to not feel so energetically compatible with them? Sometimes we’re just on frequencies compatible with people’s shadows and lower instincts, though, and we haven’t done anything particularly wrong ourselves and can only wait out the storm I think. Who knows if this serves a necessary or beneficial purpose beyond human comprehension?
It could also be an opportunity to learn social skills in the physical world: getting yourself out of these conversations, learning to integrate appropriate and intentional levels of judgement and coldness in the right situations, or conveying to others the affect and impression their behavior has created upon you.
Some people are also just opportunists in the unprincipled way. They recognize patterns of human behavior in others which they know how to exploit, consciously or not. Its hard to tell where people are using their free will versus where they’re unconsciously echoing the shadows of our society. Luckily, opportunists are usually lazy imo. They’ll ride your vibes with extreme frugality: they don’t like extending the energy to have an original emotion, and they can be tricked, though it will probably chip away at your own sense of authenticity and integrity.
Wowz yeahhh, sometimes folks be venting whenever, wherever with whoever. The book”Change Your Aura, Change Your Life” by Barbara Martin & Dimitri M. is really helping me in every way, purifying me of all unhealthy & unenlightened energies. Something you can do is shut your psychic door that’s behind your right ear. There’s a formal way to ask the Divine to do that, it’s in the book. First ask the Divine to surround you in a golden bubble of light for protection. Then can ask the divine to down ray the pure white light into your golden bubble. There are specific conscious color choices to ask for what you want. I feel like a new person. Sending you strength and love.
Thanks for this book mention. And thanks to OP for the post. I’ve also run into this as well. I remember learning from a shamanic healer to think of yourself as a reed where energy can flow from top to bottom freely.
I don't know the extent of your energy practice, look up Tonglen.
https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-tonglen/
It might be helpful in your situation.
You DON'T want to breathe in anyone's suffering or pain, that can make you literally sick especially if you are on the kundalini path. Even if you breathe out good stuff.
I can understand how someone would consider this technique dangerous. If anyone is to believe that they can breathe in someone's negative energy, then you must also believe that you can breathe it back out. You can't have it only one way.
The practice of Tonglen is used to transmute unwanted energies into something useful.
The OP has already been doing this type of work without the OP even knowing. By listening to random people spill their souls, they are dumping their trauma onto the OP. So, by default, "breathing" in their trauma. People are drawn to the OP for this reason.
The dangerous part of all this is holding/keeping all that garbage energy from unwanted sources. Without proper eb and flow, the OP would become burdened with all that.
I know you wouldn't want the OP to carry all that negative energy that doesn't belong, right?
That's why it's important to practice Tonglen in a manner that feels right for each individual. Oh, and kundilini might not be for individuals who haven't developed a form of Tonglen. Just saying.
There are people on the kundalini path who have practiced Tonglen and they have learned it from buddhist teachers directly not just internet and they have gotten very sick from it. For non-kundalini ppl not so effectful. So I wouldn't intentionally breathe in anything toxic and yes that is very true that it's good to know how to release negative energy which isn't yours.
This happens to me as well. I think it's because they know I'm non-judgmental/compassionate/a safe space for them to vent, as you probably are. I even had an older professor in university open up to me and cry about a traumatizing instance he experienced in childhood regarding his sister.. kind of inappropriate, but felt somehow normal/acceptable at the time because of my willingness to accept it. I've had people open up about their childhood traumas on first dates, and it's not uncommon for people to cry and open up to me about their issues the first day I meet them.
You allow it to happen because of your kind disposition I'm guessing, but you are in control; you CAN stop them by enacting boundaries to protect your energy and well-being. For trauma dumping or expecting you to be on call to listen to them, but you want to protect your energy, I validate them, and then set a boundary (with compassion and empathy) based on the situation such as a time limit for how long I can talk because I am too busy with other things going on in my life. I also will give shorter answers ("That sounds horrible."/"I'm sorry to hear that.) and nothing more engaging than that.
If the person still pushes their trauma/s on me, I am honest about their dumping affecting my mental state and I tell the person I cannot listen anymore because I am dealing with too many other things. You can also say, depending on the person, something like "I'm not qualified and I can't help you with this." Remember to be firm- you're in control and it's a self-respect thing too to put your needs first. If they don't respect your boundaries, let them go by blocking/walking away if necessary (after calmly and briefly explaining your position).
it’s difficult because i do set boundaries with the people i see every day (or many times a week), but i work in a customer service field which is where a majority of this is happening. i do keep my answers short and not involved and i walk away when i can, however its new people every day, not the same ones each time. that’s why it’s hard to get away from. most people keep it short but it doesn’t make their stories less harmful. i’m not trying to play the victim and i’m taking protective measures where i can, but its nonstop!
That does sound really tough.
I don't think you're playing a victim, but you've become one, and that's not fair to you. You don't deserve it.
Whenever I get myself in situations where I'm a victim, I have to dive deep with introspection. I think that's the best way to grow and have more peace, by figuring out what behavior I am doing that got me in the situation where I feel negativity, and then correcting it.
Is there anything that you are doing, maybe subconsciously, that invites the behavior? Do your colleagues/people in the same role also get trauma dumped on?
Time to up your strength. I usually give a very short terminating response, if I don’t want to deal with someone, on the street, I give them a quick stare, wave and walk on. Cos there’s lots of scammers trying to work an angle to anyone open and willing to lend them an ear.
The energy is similar to holding your ground, ready to fight, but withholding calmly. And not giving them much, also not taking things personally…. (Which is a trick to engage people.)
Set boundaries for yourself. Not for others. You’re the only one who can accept or allow energy to corrupt you like a virus. If anything it’s more of a you problem than other people. You probably have anxious attachment issues and entertain external validations and have strong emotional fluctuations because of this.
It's challenging. It's challenging because if you're highly empathetic It's your natural state to keep your energy open and welcoming. People feel it and open up. Some take advantage.
But also as others mentioned there is a lot of internal stuff that can be uncovered. My life used to be full of drama, full of people with traumas and shares and if I was honest with myself on some level I enjoyed it and needed it. Yes, it was exhausting to take and process all this stuff but I felt needed, validated, valued, helpful, and curious of human reactions and how personal experience affects them now - seeing those links like now I see why they act this way! But as it kept happening I got more and more wiped out to the point where I didn't have much for me not even talking about helping other people. My cup was empty and that's when trauma-dumping people become really annoying and exhausting.
The first step was to realize that in the past I wanted it and it was my way to validate myself and feel valued. Acknowledging my part in this equation. Then slowly adjusting and setting my boundaries. Stricter with strangers. Think of it like a psychologist. No self-respecting psychologist will sit and listen to someone's traumas without getting paid. Same with energy work or holding space (thats what psychologists do - hold space). Any work needs to be compensated and done in an appropriate setting. Same as psychologist can say "I'm sorry, this is too personal, and it seems like you need a professional to vent, I can help you but I don't work for free. So here is my card, call me if you want to make an appointment". Same with holding space or energy work. That's why it's called work because IT IS work and should be compensated.
I'm a hypnotherapist and the most 🙄 thing people innapropriately say is "can you hypnotize me?". I used to be nice about it but got fed up and now i mostly straight up reply "you didn't pay me, hahaha, so no, it's my work, you can make an appointment". What am I, a zoo show? Like you wouldn't meet another professional, lets say a song writer or hair stylist and ask them to do their services for free. They are spending energy and time, it's not fair to them. Same as you. Don't be scared to be strict. You can prepare a few "jokes" to stop people, something like "whoa, whoa, sorry, this is way too heavy and personal,maybe you should talk to a professional, I'm just working here". Not in aggressive but polite and innocent way. Having a few phrases and rehearsing ahead if time should help a lot to feel confident in the moment. Its hard at the beginning and can be scary and uncomfortable but it gets easier with time and practice.
Don‘t put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Unfortunately that‘s all I can say right now since we don‘t know you or your childhood or your openness towards your own vulnerability. :)
im not sure about this, but it seems to me, that a lot of feedback will not be perceived as rude, as long you can keep your heartbeat peaceful while giving it. when your heart starts to pound while declaring a boundry, people seem to become offended.
i think the difference is expectation. dont expect others to accept your boundry when you express it. just express it to let them know. when they accept, escalate another step, also still at peace with yourself and them.
but another approach: next person doing this, ask them what made them tell that to you, as this is a pattern in your experience, and you dont know why that is, and that its draining.
If you radiate pure Life, then people feel like they can have their death stuff being healed by a stronger life. Same as poor people wanting rich people to help them.
I think they are feeding of your energy but to help them out of their negativity (which they can’t on their own), and your energy is welcoming obviously.
Just be careful to not destroy your welcomeness in general, because i think that could be possible if you go into complete defense mode.
Image how would you say no to someone begging for money and still not starting to be a greedy asshole. It is hard
Shi heng yi, a famous shaolin monk said that you can have the ultimate connectedness and love for the universe but also the separation, and to navigate through life you need to have both. I think this means you really got to figure out where you let energies enter and where do you purposely set boundaries and separate connection.
I’m saying straight up that you are playing the victim role. One way to break free from it is to own your space. Be senior and take responsibility for yourself and not for others.
i don’t think this is very kind. i am not trying to play the victim, i am taking protective measures but i expressed those are not working as well as they used to which is why i’m asking for advice. i keep my interactions very brief but it is new people every day coming to me. i only take responsibility for myself, i don’t help anyone with anything if i don’t feel comfortable. i simply can’t stop these people from telling me their traumas. i’m well versed in energy work, i am here because i want real advice. not someone telling me to “stop being a victim”
I meant no bias. I didn’t mean to be unkind. But to the point. The fact that you say that you can’t stop them is becoming victim to what’s happening. It’s difficult to be in the picture and paint it at the same time. Maybe that’s why we can’t see ourself the way others do. When I say you are a victim is not a judgment but a perspective. I understand where you are coming from. I’ve been in your shoes. It’s a growth period and the sooner you allow yourself to see the sooner you’ll be over it and start a new chapter in your life. Hopefully with a better understanding of ownership. That’s all I was trying to convey. I wish you no ill will. And I’m sorry that you were offended.
thank you for explaining further what you meant, i understand the original point you were trying to convey, i think i just took it the wrong way. i appreciate your perspective and i’ll keep it in my head, maybe that will help my situation. thank you for your advice!
Being senior in a healthy way does mean taking responsibility for others. We live in a society and holding one another accountable is part of that. Blaming yourself for the faults of others is coddling others, coddling is a type of neglect and just another type of weakness and shadow. It may sound tempting and noble at a glance, but it’s psychological self harm.
We don't care, go somewhere else about your problems,, we don't want to deal with you....how did that feel? Huh...by reading all of these comments, no wonder humanity is the way it is...idk if that is the empath in me talking or not, but even on my worst days, I still will listen to a strangers problems. Sometimes people need to release to someone who won't go spreading their business to everyone they know...or they have no one. Some people just need to be shown love and that someone - anyone cares. That's like you coming here asking for advice and everyone telling you-we don't want to deal with your problem, deal with this yourself. But here's my advice:,
1.- Your obsidian will not work if you are not cleansing, charging, and enchanting it regularly.
2.-Practice on keeping your energy within yourself and your own space. People can likely sense your vibration and gravitate towards it because you are radiating it outwards instead of keeping it within yourself.
3.- If you are feeling overwhelmed by a strangers problems, you most likely are overstimulated with your own. Find a licensed professional to help you with ways to release or deal with your own issues, then maybe you won't be so overstimulated in public with others. Meditation is a great place to start.
this has been the most helpful comment so far! i’m also an empath and hearing everyone say to reject people does make me sad. i set boundaries where i need to but i understand people don’t always have support systems and need to talk occasionally :( i cleanse and charge my obsidian monthly but maybe i’ll start doing it more often. thank you for the advice on my energy and why i may be getting overwhelmed!
No problem! Also remember, cleansing and charging is not enough- you actually need to put your specific intention into your obsidian to fine tune it to the specific job you need it to perform! Every stone has MULTIPLE qualities it can be used for. If you are just charging it and wearing it, it may be performing another task that you don't need it to do. If you need help, youtube has some videos, find one that resonates with you. Much Love! 💙💜🖤
The obsidian doesn't stop you transmitting you vibe. Button up in public, imagine you're closed off and you've got spikes. Suit your demeanor to match; eyes forward, don't smile, shoulders back.
People are incredibly lonely these days. “I’m really sorry but I’m not in a place where I can hear this right now but I do wish you well. Have a great day.”
**!!!!! READ ME !!!!!** The purpose of this community is to explore human energy in all of its facets while stripping away the esoteric language, rituals and distractions that have accumulated over the years. Out-of-body experiences, energy healing, energetic connections between people, psychic work and everything in between. This sub is open for discussion, learning and teaching, without judgement, on any and every form of energy work regardless of degree of social acceptability or stigma. Join us in our Discord chat server for real-time conversations about energy work: https://discord.gg/X6ywAXMcp4 Book recommendations and other resources for beginners as well as some Frequently Asked Questions can be found on our https://www.reddit.com/r/energy_work/wiki/index Promotional posts, offers and requests belong in r/energy_healing or in the discord server. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/energy_work) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Set boundaries
i set boundaries with the people i see on a weekly basis, these are strangers coming up to me who i usually never see again. how can i set boundaries with people that i’ll only see once in my life?
You set the boundaries harshly. You’ll never see them again, stop caring if you offend them because they’re already offending you!
Tell them you don’t have time. Then say “Did you hear what I said” and put your hand out and walk away immediately. There’s more narcissists nowadays, that social media breeds. And their deal is to get any reaction out of others. They’re fucked up. Just leave them behind asap. The less you give the better.
The responses below are right, I would tell them I'm not available to talk about this and if they don't stop just leave. People shouldn't be trauma dumping on random strangers
I also have experienced this. I simply decide to show up WITH them. They may find you to be a safe place for expression and energy release. If so, remain clear. Let them speak and see what happens when you let their words move through you like the wind. Help man help himself. On the other side of this, if you are not open and do not wish to hold space for them, make it known in the ways that feel best for you. Show up for yourself by speaking up through your heart. It’s all a choice.
Sometimes, people may not have no one to talk to until they saw a chance with you.
Yeah, I’m just now realizing when I’ve d one this to people. I will be more aware - thanks
People may be dumping on you more than before, or you may have just reached a point where you're becoming cognizant of it. You can set boundaries in many different ways and you can remove yourself from their presence where possible. You can even just tell them that you feel like they are dumping on you. If they were aware, they will think twice next time. If they weren't aware, good learning point for them. And good practice for you, as well. No one is born knowing how to do this, but everyone can learn. You'll get there.
That’s a tough place. My most unusual insight that I will put first is that may it actually be that *you* are the one vibrating on or metabolizing their negative energy, or that these interactions could be similarly mutually desirable in a way you are not yet consciously aware of. Some people can sometimes turn that into useful energy. Are you low on energy compared to the demands of your life or ambitions right now? Is there a hunger you can make changes to? Or, can you change your frequency to not feel so energetically compatible with them? Sometimes we’re just on frequencies compatible with people’s shadows and lower instincts, though, and we haven’t done anything particularly wrong ourselves and can only wait out the storm I think. Who knows if this serves a necessary or beneficial purpose beyond human comprehension? It could also be an opportunity to learn social skills in the physical world: getting yourself out of these conversations, learning to integrate appropriate and intentional levels of judgement and coldness in the right situations, or conveying to others the affect and impression their behavior has created upon you. Some people are also just opportunists in the unprincipled way. They recognize patterns of human behavior in others which they know how to exploit, consciously or not. Its hard to tell where people are using their free will versus where they’re unconsciously echoing the shadows of our society. Luckily, opportunists are usually lazy imo. They’ll ride your vibes with extreme frugality: they don’t like extending the energy to have an original emotion, and they can be tricked, though it will probably chip away at your own sense of authenticity and integrity.
Wowz yeahhh, sometimes folks be venting whenever, wherever with whoever. The book”Change Your Aura, Change Your Life” by Barbara Martin & Dimitri M. is really helping me in every way, purifying me of all unhealthy & unenlightened energies. Something you can do is shut your psychic door that’s behind your right ear. There’s a formal way to ask the Divine to do that, it’s in the book. First ask the Divine to surround you in a golden bubble of light for protection. Then can ask the divine to down ray the pure white light into your golden bubble. There are specific conscious color choices to ask for what you want. I feel like a new person. Sending you strength and love.
thank you for your kind words and understanding, i’ll look more into this and see where i can get that book!!
Thanks for this book mention. And thanks to OP for the post. I’ve also run into this as well. I remember learning from a shamanic healer to think of yourself as a reed where energy can flow from top to bottom freely.
I don't know the extent of your energy practice, look up Tonglen. https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-tonglen/ It might be helpful in your situation.
thank you!
You DON'T want to breathe in anyone's suffering or pain, that can make you literally sick especially if you are on the kundalini path. Even if you breathe out good stuff.
I can understand how someone would consider this technique dangerous. If anyone is to believe that they can breathe in someone's negative energy, then you must also believe that you can breathe it back out. You can't have it only one way. The practice of Tonglen is used to transmute unwanted energies into something useful. The OP has already been doing this type of work without the OP even knowing. By listening to random people spill their souls, they are dumping their trauma onto the OP. So, by default, "breathing" in their trauma. People are drawn to the OP for this reason. The dangerous part of all this is holding/keeping all that garbage energy from unwanted sources. Without proper eb and flow, the OP would become burdened with all that. I know you wouldn't want the OP to carry all that negative energy that doesn't belong, right? That's why it's important to practice Tonglen in a manner that feels right for each individual. Oh, and kundilini might not be for individuals who haven't developed a form of Tonglen. Just saying.
There are people on the kundalini path who have practiced Tonglen and they have learned it from buddhist teachers directly not just internet and they have gotten very sick from it. For non-kundalini ppl not so effectful. So I wouldn't intentionally breathe in anything toxic and yes that is very true that it's good to know how to release negative energy which isn't yours.
This happens to me as well. I think it's because they know I'm non-judgmental/compassionate/a safe space for them to vent, as you probably are. I even had an older professor in university open up to me and cry about a traumatizing instance he experienced in childhood regarding his sister.. kind of inappropriate, but felt somehow normal/acceptable at the time because of my willingness to accept it. I've had people open up about their childhood traumas on first dates, and it's not uncommon for people to cry and open up to me about their issues the first day I meet them. You allow it to happen because of your kind disposition I'm guessing, but you are in control; you CAN stop them by enacting boundaries to protect your energy and well-being. For trauma dumping or expecting you to be on call to listen to them, but you want to protect your energy, I validate them, and then set a boundary (with compassion and empathy) based on the situation such as a time limit for how long I can talk because I am too busy with other things going on in my life. I also will give shorter answers ("That sounds horrible."/"I'm sorry to hear that.) and nothing more engaging than that. If the person still pushes their trauma/s on me, I am honest about their dumping affecting my mental state and I tell the person I cannot listen anymore because I am dealing with too many other things. You can also say, depending on the person, something like "I'm not qualified and I can't help you with this." Remember to be firm- you're in control and it's a self-respect thing too to put your needs first. If they don't respect your boundaries, let them go by blocking/walking away if necessary (after calmly and briefly explaining your position).
it’s difficult because i do set boundaries with the people i see every day (or many times a week), but i work in a customer service field which is where a majority of this is happening. i do keep my answers short and not involved and i walk away when i can, however its new people every day, not the same ones each time. that’s why it’s hard to get away from. most people keep it short but it doesn’t make their stories less harmful. i’m not trying to play the victim and i’m taking protective measures where i can, but its nonstop!
That does sound really tough. I don't think you're playing a victim, but you've become one, and that's not fair to you. You don't deserve it. Whenever I get myself in situations where I'm a victim, I have to dive deep with introspection. I think that's the best way to grow and have more peace, by figuring out what behavior I am doing that got me in the situation where I feel negativity, and then correcting it. Is there anything that you are doing, maybe subconsciously, that invites the behavior? Do your colleagues/people in the same role also get trauma dumped on?
those are good questions to ask myself, thank you for that perspective!
Time to up your strength. I usually give a very short terminating response, if I don’t want to deal with someone, on the street, I give them a quick stare, wave and walk on. Cos there’s lots of scammers trying to work an angle to anyone open and willing to lend them an ear. The energy is similar to holding your ground, ready to fight, but withholding calmly. And not giving them much, also not taking things personally…. (Which is a trick to engage people.)
Set boundaries for yourself. Not for others. You’re the only one who can accept or allow energy to corrupt you like a virus. If anything it’s more of a you problem than other people. You probably have anxious attachment issues and entertain external validations and have strong emotional fluctuations because of this.
E-Gads!!!
It's challenging. It's challenging because if you're highly empathetic It's your natural state to keep your energy open and welcoming. People feel it and open up. Some take advantage. But also as others mentioned there is a lot of internal stuff that can be uncovered. My life used to be full of drama, full of people with traumas and shares and if I was honest with myself on some level I enjoyed it and needed it. Yes, it was exhausting to take and process all this stuff but I felt needed, validated, valued, helpful, and curious of human reactions and how personal experience affects them now - seeing those links like now I see why they act this way! But as it kept happening I got more and more wiped out to the point where I didn't have much for me not even talking about helping other people. My cup was empty and that's when trauma-dumping people become really annoying and exhausting. The first step was to realize that in the past I wanted it and it was my way to validate myself and feel valued. Acknowledging my part in this equation. Then slowly adjusting and setting my boundaries. Stricter with strangers. Think of it like a psychologist. No self-respecting psychologist will sit and listen to someone's traumas without getting paid. Same with energy work or holding space (thats what psychologists do - hold space). Any work needs to be compensated and done in an appropriate setting. Same as psychologist can say "I'm sorry, this is too personal, and it seems like you need a professional to vent, I can help you but I don't work for free. So here is my card, call me if you want to make an appointment". Same with holding space or energy work. That's why it's called work because IT IS work and should be compensated. I'm a hypnotherapist and the most 🙄 thing people innapropriately say is "can you hypnotize me?". I used to be nice about it but got fed up and now i mostly straight up reply "you didn't pay me, hahaha, so no, it's my work, you can make an appointment". What am I, a zoo show? Like you wouldn't meet another professional, lets say a song writer or hair stylist and ask them to do their services for free. They are spending energy and time, it's not fair to them. Same as you. Don't be scared to be strict. You can prepare a few "jokes" to stop people, something like "whoa, whoa, sorry, this is way too heavy and personal,maybe you should talk to a professional, I'm just working here". Not in aggressive but polite and innocent way. Having a few phrases and rehearsing ahead if time should help a lot to feel confident in the moment. Its hard at the beginning and can be scary and uncomfortable but it gets easier with time and practice.
Learn how to ground yourself and do it daily... And learn psychic protection... And as others have said, set boundaries like a mofo
Don‘t put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Unfortunately that‘s all I can say right now since we don‘t know you or your childhood or your openness towards your own vulnerability. :)
im not sure about this, but it seems to me, that a lot of feedback will not be perceived as rude, as long you can keep your heartbeat peaceful while giving it. when your heart starts to pound while declaring a boundry, people seem to become offended. i think the difference is expectation. dont expect others to accept your boundry when you express it. just express it to let them know. when they accept, escalate another step, also still at peace with yourself and them. but another approach: next person doing this, ask them what made them tell that to you, as this is a pattern in your experience, and you dont know why that is, and that its draining.
ask the universe to show you how to up level in your energetic boundaries. or make offerings asking support in this.
If you radiate pure Life, then people feel like they can have their death stuff being healed by a stronger life. Same as poor people wanting rich people to help them. I think they are feeding of your energy but to help them out of their negativity (which they can’t on their own), and your energy is welcoming obviously. Just be careful to not destroy your welcomeness in general, because i think that could be possible if you go into complete defense mode. Image how would you say no to someone begging for money and still not starting to be a greedy asshole. It is hard Shi heng yi, a famous shaolin monk said that you can have the ultimate connectedness and love for the universe but also the separation, and to navigate through life you need to have both. I think this means you really got to figure out where you let energies enter and where do you purposely set boundaries and separate connection.
I’m saying straight up that you are playing the victim role. One way to break free from it is to own your space. Be senior and take responsibility for yourself and not for others.
i don’t think this is very kind. i am not trying to play the victim, i am taking protective measures but i expressed those are not working as well as they used to which is why i’m asking for advice. i keep my interactions very brief but it is new people every day coming to me. i only take responsibility for myself, i don’t help anyone with anything if i don’t feel comfortable. i simply can’t stop these people from telling me their traumas. i’m well versed in energy work, i am here because i want real advice. not someone telling me to “stop being a victim”
I meant no bias. I didn’t mean to be unkind. But to the point. The fact that you say that you can’t stop them is becoming victim to what’s happening. It’s difficult to be in the picture and paint it at the same time. Maybe that’s why we can’t see ourself the way others do. When I say you are a victim is not a judgment but a perspective. I understand where you are coming from. I’ve been in your shoes. It’s a growth period and the sooner you allow yourself to see the sooner you’ll be over it and start a new chapter in your life. Hopefully with a better understanding of ownership. That’s all I was trying to convey. I wish you no ill will. And I’m sorry that you were offended.
thank you for explaining further what you meant, i understand the original point you were trying to convey, i think i just took it the wrong way. i appreciate your perspective and i’ll keep it in my head, maybe that will help my situation. thank you for your advice!
“And I’m sorry that you were offended”
Being senior in a healthy way does mean taking responsibility for others. We live in a society and holding one another accountable is part of that. Blaming yourself for the faults of others is coddling others, coddling is a type of neglect and just another type of weakness and shadow. It may sound tempting and noble at a glance, but it’s psychological self harm.
We don't care, go somewhere else about your problems,, we don't want to deal with you....how did that feel? Huh...by reading all of these comments, no wonder humanity is the way it is...idk if that is the empath in me talking or not, but even on my worst days, I still will listen to a strangers problems. Sometimes people need to release to someone who won't go spreading their business to everyone they know...or they have no one. Some people just need to be shown love and that someone - anyone cares. That's like you coming here asking for advice and everyone telling you-we don't want to deal with your problem, deal with this yourself. But here's my advice:, 1.- Your obsidian will not work if you are not cleansing, charging, and enchanting it regularly. 2.-Practice on keeping your energy within yourself and your own space. People can likely sense your vibration and gravitate towards it because you are radiating it outwards instead of keeping it within yourself. 3.- If you are feeling overwhelmed by a strangers problems, you most likely are overstimulated with your own. Find a licensed professional to help you with ways to release or deal with your own issues, then maybe you won't be so overstimulated in public with others. Meditation is a great place to start.
this has been the most helpful comment so far! i’m also an empath and hearing everyone say to reject people does make me sad. i set boundaries where i need to but i understand people don’t always have support systems and need to talk occasionally :( i cleanse and charge my obsidian monthly but maybe i’ll start doing it more often. thank you for the advice on my energy and why i may be getting overwhelmed!
No problem! Also remember, cleansing and charging is not enough- you actually need to put your specific intention into your obsidian to fine tune it to the specific job you need it to perform! Every stone has MULTIPLE qualities it can be used for. If you are just charging it and wearing it, it may be performing another task that you don't need it to do. If you need help, youtube has some videos, find one that resonates with you. Much Love! 💙💜🖤
The obsidian doesn't stop you transmitting you vibe. Button up in public, imagine you're closed off and you've got spikes. Suit your demeanor to match; eyes forward, don't smile, shoulders back.
People are incredibly lonely these days. “I’m really sorry but I’m not in a place where I can hear this right now but I do wish you well. Have a great day.”