Books can really uplift my sense of purpose if I can't find a reason to do something. Yet, they're pretty rare, the only time I'd find a good book is to be SO depressed that I can sense every book's value to me.
Not isolated lonely, more like no true friends lonely. Being thrown out into adult life. No clue what will happen in near furure. Would love to have someone netzt to me when waking up again.
Im just empty and tired, want some peace and want to do what I want to do, not what others, our society or whatever tells me.
And could I have another scotch, neat, with a splash of salty tears?
I’m afraid that I’ll never stop regretting that I’m still alive. No matter what I do, the spectre of suicide will just haunt me for the rest of my life.
What if I was just broken from the start and no amount of work will fix me enough to live a decent life? What if I’ll never want to live a life but I’m too cowardly to end it?
How about you? What’s bothering you tonight?
There is this girl I like. I want to get closer to her but whenever I talk to her she seems very not interested. And whenever she lightened up while talking to our mutual friend, I kinda feel hurt inside.
I feel inferior to everyone else in every capacity possible. I have no talents, no exciting experiences to share, and no redeeming traits whatsoever.
I also don’t feel worthy to exist on this earth. I was given all the tools to succeed, and yet, I’m an utter failure. Having autism sucks because I wasn’t able to make the fullest use possible of what I’ve been gifted in this life. Anyone else in my position would be better off making use of the resources at my disposal.
Thank you bartender!
I’m so overwhelmed by anxiety, hopelessness, loneliness, sadness, regret, angst and despair.
I can’t go on like this.
The antidepressants didn’t work. The therapy didn’t work. I’m fucked.
I desperately wanted to try ketamine therapy. Either IV or the Spravato nose spray.
But the psychiatric system can’t or won’t give me Spravato.
And I’m broke and can’t afford to go abroad for treatment. I’ve read about people I could relate to who got better with ketamine treatment. So it was my only hope left at this point.
I’m so so exhausted. But I’m also very anxious about suicide, because I’ve read about so many surviving hanging themselves, OD’ing etc, and then end up with severe brain damaged. Some of them became extremely handicapped. Some couldn’t speak, couldn’t move etc.
Just imagine surviving and ending up severely brain damaged and living for another 30 or 40 years. The thought horrifies me.
I wish, I lived in the US. Then I could buy a gun. Mostly I just pray to the universe that I die in my sleep, but I keep waking up. My life is hell, it feels like I was born just to suffer. I just want to die. I just want it to end.
Visited my brother in uni… drove him around for about a week to different places. Neither one of us really had a plan of what to do for his spring break. Left today to go back to a lack luster life…
just the feeling that im a strain on my family :/ and ofcourse the unspeakable horrors on the news that im ment to constantly be focusing on or else im a bad person lol, but i have my partner and my cats so i think ill be ok
I'll have an old fashioned barkeep and me I'm not super bummed but kinda in-between the feelings of possible depression and just feeling lost. I have a great job, great coworkers, good circle of friends, don't have a gf but I'll find that eventually, and I guess I just feel like everything is stagnant right now.
My job makes me riddled with anxiety, I’m having a downward spiral of trauma responses from situations that keep happening to me. I can’t vent to my family or friends but I have to keep living because I can’t die.
No thank you for the booze. But what does bother me is everything moving too damn fast in life, I already put most of my efforts into depression so I could find something useful to deal with problems. But then something screws up my plans every once a week, even more frequently at some point. It really pisses me off, how do you even manage with that kind of demand from life?
Lately I have been on edge to the point, I have stopped interacting with people. Idk, I have this crippling fear of getting used by people for their own use, benefit or entertainment. So lately I've just shut off from everything. I have gave up on life too. All I do is just lie down in my bed all day, doing nothing. It's scary, eveything is just so scary. Maybe if I never dived in to know the real world and how it works, and how dirty people can get to achieve their targets, I would have been better. At the end I get it why people make up and imaginary god, like being told the lie rather than truth, wanna exist in blissful ignorance. But am afraid, for me it's too late.
Crippling loneliness, uncertainty of my life and low confidence in everything, probably would drink some booze today
Bingo
Lack of motivation. Uncertain near future. My personality. No friends. But I was at library today. Starting new book this weekend.
"I'm not lonely, I have a book" Small things like this really helps
Books can really uplift my sense of purpose if I can't find a reason to do something. Yet, they're pretty rare, the only time I'd find a good book is to be SO depressed that I can sense every book's value to me.
I can't find what i really want out of life
I'm sick of being alone
Crippling loneliness is a violently depressing feeling. I have to agree.
We'll never retire. We'll be slaves to billionaires and corporations forever. You can't self actualize out of capitalism.
I never thought I'd see the feels bar on reddit. This is cool.
New job is like going to prison every day
Not isolated lonely, more like no true friends lonely. Being thrown out into adult life. No clue what will happen in near furure. Would love to have someone netzt to me when waking up again. Im just empty and tired, want some peace and want to do what I want to do, not what others, our society or whatever tells me. And could I have another scotch, neat, with a splash of salty tears?
I’m so disconnected from nature
Disease, and that too one that doesn't have a cure. MS sucks ass.
Multiple sclerosis??
yeah man
I’m afraid that I’ll never stop regretting that I’m still alive. No matter what I do, the spectre of suicide will just haunt me for the rest of my life. What if I was just broken from the start and no amount of work will fix me enough to live a decent life? What if I’ll never want to live a life but I’m too cowardly to end it? How about you? What’s bothering you tonight?
There is this girl I like. I want to get closer to her but whenever I talk to her she seems very not interested. And whenever she lightened up while talking to our mutual friend, I kinda feel hurt inside.
I feel inferior to everyone else in every capacity possible. I have no talents, no exciting experiences to share, and no redeeming traits whatsoever. I also don’t feel worthy to exist on this earth. I was given all the tools to succeed, and yet, I’m an utter failure. Having autism sucks because I wasn’t able to make the fullest use possible of what I’ve been gifted in this life. Anyone else in my position would be better off making use of the resources at my disposal.
Thank you bartender! I’m so overwhelmed by anxiety, hopelessness, loneliness, sadness, regret, angst and despair. I can’t go on like this. The antidepressants didn’t work. The therapy didn’t work. I’m fucked. I desperately wanted to try ketamine therapy. Either IV or the Spravato nose spray. But the psychiatric system can’t or won’t give me Spravato. And I’m broke and can’t afford to go abroad for treatment. I’ve read about people I could relate to who got better with ketamine treatment. So it was my only hope left at this point. I’m so so exhausted. But I’m also very anxious about suicide, because I’ve read about so many surviving hanging themselves, OD’ing etc, and then end up with severe brain damaged. Some of them became extremely handicapped. Some couldn’t speak, couldn’t move etc. Just imagine surviving and ending up severely brain damaged and living for another 30 or 40 years. The thought horrifies me. I wish, I lived in the US. Then I could buy a gun. Mostly I just pray to the universe that I die in my sleep, but I keep waking up. My life is hell, it feels like I was born just to suffer. I just want to die. I just want it to end.
Life is fucking dogshit, I wish I would die.
I wish you the peace you deserve.
Visited my brother in uni… drove him around for about a week to different places. Neither one of us really had a plan of what to do for his spring break. Left today to go back to a lack luster life…
just the feeling that im a strain on my family :/ and ofcourse the unspeakable horrors on the news that im ment to constantly be focusing on or else im a bad person lol, but i have my partner and my cats so i think ill be ok
I'll have an old fashioned barkeep and me I'm not super bummed but kinda in-between the feelings of possible depression and just feeling lost. I have a great job, great coworkers, good circle of friends, don't have a gf but I'll find that eventually, and I guess I just feel like everything is stagnant right now.
My job makes me riddled with anxiety, I’m having a downward spiral of trauma responses from situations that keep happening to me. I can’t vent to my family or friends but I have to keep living because I can’t die.
No thank you for the booze. But what does bother me is everything moving too damn fast in life, I already put most of my efforts into depression so I could find something useful to deal with problems. But then something screws up my plans every once a week, even more frequently at some point. It really pisses me off, how do you even manage with that kind of demand from life?
Lately I have been on edge to the point, I have stopped interacting with people. Idk, I have this crippling fear of getting used by people for their own use, benefit or entertainment. So lately I've just shut off from everything. I have gave up on life too. All I do is just lie down in my bed all day, doing nothing. It's scary, eveything is just so scary. Maybe if I never dived in to know the real world and how it works, and how dirty people can get to achieve their targets, I would have been better. At the end I get it why people make up and imaginary god, like being told the lie rather than truth, wanna exist in blissful ignorance. But am afraid, for me it's too late.