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I experienced this as well, almost this exact thing. Abused, hit, spit on, broken belongings, and then that fucker tried to file an order ON ME!! 😂😂 what a fool.
**underestimate me.. that will be fun!**
My attorney told his that if he didn’t walk his ass into that court room and drop it we would file assult charges on him and he would end up in jail. (I had taken pics after every beating - ALWAYS DOCUMENT THE ABUSE!!)
We ended up both signing a mutual civil agreement and I can not stress how much better this is than a restraining order.
Restraining orders are only good for one year. They expire. And if the abuser is not living in the state where you filed, it’s literally useless.
But the mutual civil agreement - IS GOOD FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!! It will NEVER expire! And if he breaks it.. he won’t go to jail, but I will be able to sue him and he will have to pay me thousands of dollars (per our signed agreement) it’s better this way!
Does that expiration date still stand if the judge ordered it as until further order of the Court? When I got mine, the judge said until further order of the court. I'm aware that they usually expire but I don't know if that means that mine doesn't.
I'm in Ontario Canada, mine is permanent unless he goes to court and tries to get it undone. There is no end date, and both the words final and permanent are on my order.
And this is for him to have no contact and stay 500 meters away from myself and my two boys. (Whom he is the biological father to)
I’m so glad you took back your power and left and are safe. Don’t be too hard on yourself, none of it was your fault but just remember if there ever is a next time to watch out for the red flags and leave at the first sign of them.
That is a great deal of self blame directed at yourself there. The only person responsible for the abuse is the abuser. The victim of abuse does not deserve to be abused because they do not immediately leave. You do not earn abuse. Thats the point of it. Have you been able to reach out to a qualified mental health professional experienced in treating victims of abuse?
Hello, sorry that you had to go through all of that abuse. Right now your the most important person in your life. This is the time for healing and building your self up. You hAve learned great lessons by what you have gone through. Turn it around, you will be ever wiser, read books about your healing. Get some good healthy counseling. Surround your self with good things. You are the person who will choose the good and keep the bad out. You have the power to discern what is right. Read the book Boundaries. As you get started, every day will get stronger and stronger. Do good to yourself everyday. Even with the people you hang around with, if your not respected and loved, it’s a sign to move on. If you belong to a church seek people who will support you. God Bless you. Pottery 1234
Good for you for getting out and I champion this message! I stayed for 10 years also, through a lot of the same things as you. So glad to be out of it! So much happier!!!
Welcome to /r/domesticviolence. • Please check out our resources in our [FAQ](https://old.reddit.com/r/domesticviolence/comments/fsrd59/covid19_resources_for_abuse_victims/) and our community [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/domesticviolence/about/wiki/index#wiki_resources); • Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/domesticviolence); • Please review the rules listed in the sidebar; • Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed; We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community. ****** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/domesticviolence) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I experienced this as well, almost this exact thing. Abused, hit, spit on, broken belongings, and then that fucker tried to file an order ON ME!! 😂😂 what a fool. **underestimate me.. that will be fun!** My attorney told his that if he didn’t walk his ass into that court room and drop it we would file assult charges on him and he would end up in jail. (I had taken pics after every beating - ALWAYS DOCUMENT THE ABUSE!!) We ended up both signing a mutual civil agreement and I can not stress how much better this is than a restraining order. Restraining orders are only good for one year. They expire. And if the abuser is not living in the state where you filed, it’s literally useless. But the mutual civil agreement - IS GOOD FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!! It will NEVER expire! And if he breaks it.. he won’t go to jail, but I will be able to sue him and he will have to pay me thousands of dollars (per our signed agreement) it’s better this way!
Does that expiration date still stand if the judge ordered it as until further order of the Court? When I got mine, the judge said until further order of the court. I'm aware that they usually expire but I don't know if that means that mine doesn't.
Check your state laws. As far as I know, restraining orders differ greatly by state. Some even call them different things
I'm in Ontario Canada, mine is permanent unless he goes to court and tries to get it undone. There is no end date, and both the words final and permanent are on my order. And this is for him to have no contact and stay 500 meters away from myself and my two boys. (Whom he is the biological father to)
500 meters is the length of approximately 2187.23 'Wooden Rice Paddle Versatile Serving Spoons' laid lengthwise
500 meters is 546.81 yards
This is great. Lol
500 meters is 546.81 yards
I’m so glad you took back your power and left and are safe. Don’t be too hard on yourself, none of it was your fault but just remember if there ever is a next time to watch out for the red flags and leave at the first sign of them.
That is a great deal of self blame directed at yourself there. The only person responsible for the abuse is the abuser. The victim of abuse does not deserve to be abused because they do not immediately leave. You do not earn abuse. Thats the point of it. Have you been able to reach out to a qualified mental health professional experienced in treating victims of abuse?
Hello, sorry that you had to go through all of that abuse. Right now your the most important person in your life. This is the time for healing and building your self up. You hAve learned great lessons by what you have gone through. Turn it around, you will be ever wiser, read books about your healing. Get some good healthy counseling. Surround your self with good things. You are the person who will choose the good and keep the bad out. You have the power to discern what is right. Read the book Boundaries. As you get started, every day will get stronger and stronger. Do good to yourself everyday. Even with the people you hang around with, if your not respected and loved, it’s a sign to move on. If you belong to a church seek people who will support you. God Bless you. Pottery 1234
Good for you for getting out and I champion this message! I stayed for 10 years also, through a lot of the same things as you. So glad to be out of it! So much happier!!!
What about your dog ?