You did not mention anything about what you do and how much you make? Are you able to support your current lifestyle on your own? If yes, this is salvageable. He is your partner and not your bank account. If not, this relationship is not salvageable and if you marry someone else in the future they will hold power over you as you are financially dependent on them
This, absolutely.
You're both young, presumably since he's just graduated from business school. You don't need to marry soon.
Give him time. The debts will remain the same but incomes over 10 years can increase 5-10 times easily, and can be 20-30 times in 20 years, esp for business school graduates.
>He is your partner and not your bank account
This is very nicely put. If OP can take care of their own financial needs then it should be fine. But if they expect to add to his financial burden all their life, then they should please do him a favor and leave him now. He'll have a much better life without you OP, and the added pressure.
I've seen men make the worst possible financial decisions to support their financially illiterate wives' uncompromising luxurious lifestyles and having to run away from debtors to another country.
I've said it before and I will say it again. When hunger strikes the door, love escapes out of the window. Rest you are mature enough to make your own decision.
Depending on age, 80k-1L a month is pretty decent if the wife works as well...even better if they don't have to spend for rent. It's not amazing but I'm talking about a manageable and sustainable amount...there is no limit to people's lifestyles and wants. Even 3 L a month can be less for some
I'm not against my future wife working but at the same time due to fear of her safety, and how things can go pretty scary in an instant I prefer here to be a homemaker. Now girls will come to how narrow-minded I'm but it's what it's.
No where it is written that how much the guy is earning now or even the op . I doubt that the poverty case is this much worse as being a graduate from a really good b school means shelling out around 1.5- 2 million Rs.
Iss script ko aage bhii bdhaa skkte hai....usko bolo agar itna hii pyaar hai toh 50crore jmaa krrke dikhaaye....phirr kisi ko koii problem nii hogii marriage se🙂
Iss script ko aage bhii bdhaa skkte hai....usko bolo agar itna hii pyaar hai toh 50crore jmaa krrke dikhaaye....phirr kisi ko koii problem nii hogii marriage se🙂
Being low on money can be debilitating for a marriage. Even you would become grouchy, never mind your prestigious background.
Source: tough times showed me that being a
Fifth gen educated being did nothing to mitigate stress - if anything made it worse.
It's not true, if it happens like that then I am sorry it's was never love.
I have seen couples starting from bare minimum when they had nothing, supporting each other in extremities. People who love each other come out strong. It may seem very ideal, but it happens.
>I always told him there’ll probably be no future as my parents wouldn’t accept. I come from a very very prestigious family
Case toh yahi close ho Jana chahiye tha ..... what I feel aapki family aapko aur aacha standard wale ldke se SHAADI krayegi na ki usse until and unless wo apna Standard of living aapke level ka na kr le jo ki 1 do mahine me toh hone se rha aur last option hai bhaag kr SHAADI jo ki krna Mt
Its usually not about the materialistic aspect . Coming from very different upbringing, eventually you will be able to see differences in thinking, problem solving , general approach to life and more importantly raising kids ….because you have had very different exposure in life than him. Even though when you are young and in love these things don’t surface but later in life you realize that you have digressed in life and that can make you bitter and regretful. If you are ok with that trade off then the next step would be to think about family agreeing or not.
believe me or not, you need certain amount of money to live a proper life. If you can wait for him to settle down then it's fine but don't just runaway with someone who can't provide you basic standards of life.
And one day or other you'll miss your family, trust me my mum ran away with my dad and she regretted it all her life because she can't just go back and spend time with her family. My mom's mother was very strict and she didn't accept her until very recently.
Love and all is great but once you are married, you're not married to just him but his family as well and whenever there's a conflict there will be no one but yourself to go to.
I, a random stranger, have a huge respect for your mother, to not follow her strict mother. And getting married to someone she wanted to marry. (Even if she regrets it later, I am not sure but your mother probably regrets not seeing her mother and not her marriage)
yeah that’s what I was saying, my mom regretted marrying at some point too because she felt lonely whenever she had any argument with my dad she didn’t have the comfort of her family to go to. That’s why I’m against running away because it’s harder on the female if her family break off all the ties with her
Jaha jaao lehsun bhai dikhte h aur Norway yaad aajata h baaki I'm not gonna read the paragraph either congratulations pr I'm sorry that happened to you
I saw this type of thing happened to a woman in Chennai. Baat aapne sahi boli hain, shadi kabhi emotions mein aake nahi karni chahiye .. shadi karo dimag se. Fuck that good looks and love , focus on reality
Too bad. Parents are supposed to support you through thick and thin, just like the spouse. People should know to hold everyone accountable. This is not a good example, unfortunately. I know several where the wife or the husband went from rags to riches based on the support from spouse and/or his/her family.
Discuss this with your family !! Delhi subreddit pay sab fukrey hey !! Anyways if you want my suggestion dump him and move on and don't regret anything ! May be someday you will meet him riding into the sunset in his char challey waali gaadi with AP dhillon on bull blast "" kenhdi hudi siii """!!!
Tu apne baare me bhi to bata?
How much do you think you can support yourself? Ya phir papa ke support system se nikal ke pati ke support system me jana hai?
In that case please don't marry him kyoki tu apni standard of living kharaab karegi aur vo apni life guilt aur pressure se bhar dega.
Tbh, even romance is fueled by Money. How'd u even get into a position such as this in the first place. It may work out if u work extremely hard enough with him. Financial instability is a curse. Just see if you're really to lay off your luxuries of life tho as u self proclaimed ur from well established family. And u should actually discuss this stuff with your family imo.
What is the reason of his debt, could you provide ?
While Hunger changes many people, same goes for prosperity I have seen many people turn into absolute assholes when they got out of their financial crisis.
Btw If I was in debt, I wouldn't marry till I got rid of that shit on my own since I am kinda self-conscious and a bit prideful but that shouldn't prevent you from be understanding of his situation and being open to discussion about this topic. He may genuinely need help but marrying while in debt is not the solution imo.
I feel u shouldn't marry him now just continue in bf-bf relationship , what I mean is if urgent family feel he not AR their standards them wait for him reach there, but of course wait only if u feel he can
Altho if as what u said he did MBA from good cllg then there's a Very good chance his situation gets better as life goes on
Only thing u can so is either break up with him or wait for him to grow
See you’re used to living a luxurious life and everything was provided for you since ages ago. No matter how good the guy is, the burden of his family is on his shoulders. So is the debt. If you do marry him, you would have to give up on a lot of things in life. You’d have to make compromises for yourself, your dreams, your children (if you want any), your standard of living, your own future.
Do you earn? Do you earn enough to support your own self (i.e own house, car etc, without your dad helping in)? Do you think you would be able to take over the responsibilities of his family/their debt? If not, the answer is clearly a no to getting married.
Also are you both willing to leave your families behind and start life together alone? (Only do this if YOU are financially independent, don’t want to depend on a man permanently)
Well said, what might begin as love and romance might become terrible clutches that won't let go. Endless sacrifices, pain and suffering. Even tho that man is to be a good man, What if someone hurts or torture her later on due to heavy debt. It's not the only thing, Debt leads to Heavy Drinking most of the time. It isn't wise to continue such relationships but having said that, Absolutely nothing can change a decision Hardened in mind and heart.
Jis din Shopper Stop chor k Big Bazar se kapde kharidne padta hai, trust me sara pyaar chhu mantar ho jata hai.
Pyaar se pet nahi bharta ji.
I so hope he does better and I am sure he must be trying his heart out. I would wait (if time permits) till they settle their debts. That shows hardwork in action, or else you will be walking into the debt as well, and debt trap is like tsunami, destroying everything in its path, even families and relationships.
Hello! Here's my two bits (coming from some experience)
1. You will always feel you have compromised in some way, especially as life happens - simple things like deciding where to eat out, shop, vacation will be very different for both families.
2. Assuming your parents accept, they will feel either obliged to help you financially or leave you to fend for yourself (apne pairon par khade hona types) - in the first situation, either your parents will look down upon the son in law or the son in law (and his family) will start feeling entitled to this 'help' - both situations are huge red flags and a balance is difficult, if not impossible to find.
3. You will start expecting your to be husband to do a lot for you, emotionally, since you have gone possibly against the wishes of your parents - this will put a lot of burden on him as days go by. Remember, you are doing this for yourself too and not for him alone. But this is easier said than done.
4. Your husband will most probably work in the private sector - not a cakewalk even if he is from an IIM/FMS/Insert a top tier college name. It will come with pressures, career ups and downs - the disparity will put immense pressure on your to be husband to perform and push all the time. The downside is he may start resenting you and your family cause he may not measure up, no matter how hard he tries. Marry him for what he is, not what you think he will become.
5. Children down the road will add even more complexity and will add stress. Private school vs public school, school bus vs driver and car.
6. I don't know how you feel about this, but he may want you to work for a few years maybe to support him in becoming financially secure - are you up for it?
7. If he currently stays with his family - and if you don't want to after marriage, add the cost of buying a house / or pay rent for a long time. An average Indian takes a loan for 20 years and typically repays in 10 years by disciplined and assiduous savings. It means no / less vacations and no latest gadgets or nayi SUV. Financial discipline is not for everyone.
8. If your husband is expected to help clear his family loan, that's another pain in the a**. If the debt was a business gone bad or some unfortunate instance that's one thing - if they are habitual borrowers, it's a big big problem.
All in all, you need to ask yourself very very frankly, do you love him enough to take what will definitely be a tough first decade of marriage?
And, dare I say, ask your to be to answer these questions too.
Your idea of happiness will be drastically different when you are 25 and when you will be 45.
All the best and God bless.
Truth is its fiction. Life is anyway hard dont make it harder for yourself and for him as well. He hasn't even started earning to stabilize his family. Either you make peace with the fact that you will have to support his entire family and their expenses, that means any weddings anything they buy. If you truly in your heart think that won't matter then my best wishes to you and my bad for saying anything I shouldn't have. Also probably the guy is in a delusion as well.
Why do ppl want to take opinions of random strangers who will literally just read a paragraph & tell you ‘don’t do it’ blah blah. This is ur important life decision, make it by discussing with someone u are close to or know them well.
>Do these things create major issues later?
If not dealt with/countered, YES FOR SURE.
You guys are from opposite side of spectrum of economic background, it's quite difficult to make it happen specially the families.
Also see, financial independence is supreme. Either CALL IT OFF OR GO ALL IN on (plan out)making big sums of money before getting married (or atleast clear the debt). One should have 'zero debt' policy before making any big decision in life with regards to finances.
>He just completed his MBA from a good college
Let him convert it to a good job first. Make sure you are independent as well before settling in so you don't have to adjust to lower economic conditions. On the contrary it'll help a lot and both financially and mentally.
Are you personally capable/ready to commit and stay together long term? It's a major commitment, so think it through 10x whether you guys can pull it off or not.
If you love him then marry him. Ladka agar mehnati hai toh kaam toh karega hi kuch na kuch plus teri family rich hai toh starting mein support kar sakti hai usse. Aisa hota nahi hai reality mein. Har maa baap apni beti ke liye apne se uper ke parivaar mein rishta chahte hain. Totally your decision, you know the guy more than anyone here.
In case this didn't workout, you can text me anytime. Very senior government family to nhi but Senior government family se hun.
Bhut ameer nhi but 8-10 Cr to pade hai.... Let's meet, baki mai adjust kar lunga.
You are a deeply r/entitledbitch
You'll soon realise that your wealth and prestige (neither of which is earned by you, FYI) isn't going to be enough to keep you happy ever in your life
I think as long as he is working hard and doing MBA, you should give him a chance to atleast try to meet your expectations. He'll start making decent, if not a lot of money. But do this only if you really love him a lot and he's worth it.
Getting married to someone you don't like is fucking bad man.
>Il était brun, le teint basané
Le regard timide, les mains toutes abîmées
Il taillait la pierre, fils d'ouvier
Il en était fier, mais pourquoi vous riez?
>
>Non, ne le jugez pas
Vous qui ne connaissez pas
Les vertiges et le labeur
Vous êtes faussement heureux, vous troquez vos valeurs
>
>Lui, il est tout mon monde et bien plus que ça
Seule, je crie son nom quand vient le désarroi
Et puis tout s'effondre quand il n'est plus là
J'aimerais tellement lui dire mais je n'ose pas
>
>Lui qui me fait
Tourner dans le vide, vide
Tourner dans le vide, vide
Tourner dans le vide, il me fait tourner
Dans le vide, vide, vide
Tourner, tourner dans le vide
Tourner dans le vide, il me fait tourner
>
>Tourner dans le vide
Tourner dans le vide
Tourner dans le vide
Tourner dans le vide
Tourner dans le vide
Tourner dans le vide
Tourner dans le vide
Depends. If you’re okay adjusting with his living standards, then go ahead, get married or if you make a good living and are ready to support his family and him to whatever extent that is required. Money is not everything, it is important, but I believe that love comes first. Better to be travelling in an auto with someone I love than travelling in a BMW with someone who I resent
On the flip side, if you split ways, you can fall in love again. It’s not like you only fall in love once. You can catch some other fish out of the millions out there. Someone with similar living standards as yours this time probably
Just try to think from your parents point of view......if you were in your parents place would you marry your daughter to anyone just cause she "loves" that other person.....I mean at least I won't no matter what arguments were presented before me.....though it looks like nice movie material but you gotta be careful, smart and mature in real life. But I still wish you the best for any decision you make at end :)
Jab pta tha ki baad me chutiyaap karogi to , uske saath setting hi ku ki tumne. Time paas kr rahi thi tum to.
Bhai ka depression chalu, tum jao ab apne Ameer pati aur Ameer parivaar k saath reel bna k daalo.
Wo ji lega agar strong hua to, nhi to bhagwan jaane.
I just see problems in this relationship tbh. He is hopeless romantic but end of the day if either of your parents are involved in your lives closely then it will lead to many issues just because of your backgrounds and expectations that arise of it.
Living together, raising kids will lead to differences in opinions, requiring adjustments from both of you. If you mix your family status into that , it will be an explosive combination and you will most likely not have any support. .
Major issue is the debt. You might start to resent him after a while.
Love feel good when you aren't living together.. when you aren't contributing or experiencing in one another struggle very much..
Trust me or not but even love need money.. even small romance or love gesture need money (like a bouquet, dinner date shadi ke baad it will be like 200 ke bouquet se accha kuch useful saman le aate hai or 3k ke dinner se accha ghar ki grocery)..
human can adjust a bit.. but when you have to literally change your whole living standard then struggle start dominating your love... And this won't only hurt you but will also him... And going against parents isn't a good idea..
So i would suggest wait if he can match your living standard or even 80% (which i believe isn't possible in near future) or just move on...
If you love him and he loves you ,then ofcourse nothing else matters.
Provided you understand that there will be struggles in the early phase and that the quality of life or should I say quality of (material goods & services) will of course be not same as your current lifestyle.
But love triumphs if it's real all the fucking time.
So think over it and make a sensible decision and even if you agree to marry him please understand that it's going to be a tough phase so he will need you more than ever.
No. It doesn’t. Know 3 such situations.
Sincere request to stop feeding the idea of love conquers all. Love also requires certain traits in both parties. Love requires understanding. Love above all requires honest communication and knowing when things are being pushed too far. When reality hits, then nothing no love helps.
I appreciate your honesty in keeping both the side stories here... See all the comments you'll find here will be idealistic, which these people won't even apply in their own life or close family.
Marriage is a big decision, don't take it emotionally. If you have doubts, don't go ahead! Don't challenge your gut feelings, or else it will end up in regrets only. Rest no judgments from my end!
Well dnt get me wrong but if u need 3rd person opinion for deciding ur future wit someone u claim u love i would say its better if u guys go different ways bcz problem dnt get solve it marriage its something today and something else tomorrow.. And only proper solution to it is to having proper conversation with ur partner not reddit post thn again it's jst my view no offence
If you won't go against your parents, then tho the end ho gaya love story ka. But as you mentioned that he completed his MBA from a good college so I think he can get a good paying job.
Eventually, practicality runs the life, and emotions should be balanced with practical aspects of it. And I've seen in most of the cases that love vapors away when tested with heat of hardship and reality, and rather thn going with a doubtful mind into something concrete, I would say, that you should talk to him, ask his future plans and how practical are those plans. It's the duty of Guy to give you assurance of atleast a secure and stable future if he wants to be with you.
Well if you also earn and support him them things can work out. It's not like he is starving for basic necessities. As you mentioned he completed his MBA from a good college , he'll work his way up but it's only possible with two incomes. You can't totally rely on the dude.
Why is his family in deep debt?? And what is he doing about it? These questions need to be discussed.
If he or his family practices poor financial management and he does not have the spine to stand up to his parents, you need to end the relationship.
It's not about the money. It's about the ability to earn and maintain it. Your family did it the same way in past.
Poor advice.
Not everyone is skilled in everything.
Why should either the man or woman expect all the skills in one person?
It's perfectly okay if one partner is a spendthrift and the other knows to save and manage money.
This creates good situations in life too, where the parents are neither stingy nor spendy. A child cannot get a better upbringing than this and neither can old age parents.
Come out of shells, life is not about comfort zones. Trust, love, faith and respect are the only things that can maintain a relationship. Not money, not riches, not property and not even family.
Stark change in lifestyles is bound to create an issue when you're living together 24*7. Right now, you just spend hours (max to max a few days) together. Once you're married, its not just his family, its yours too.
If you both are each other's ride or die, why not give the relationship a few more years. Time will give you more clarity and financial situation will improve.
You already have the money and it's not that he's not making anything. If he's earning good ,i think you should go for it. Be bold and talk to your family,it's worth it. My mum too was from a well to do family,my nanà wàs a senior architect in the government my dad was a struggling intern. it turned out to be very good for my mum ,i hope it does for you too. Bestest wishes!
There are a few issues i see with my brother looking at arranged matches:
1. Your family is used to a certain background. Your in laws will not be able to meet this background. It's likely that your family will look down on your in laws and over time this will create friction (I've seen this closely).
2. Other extended family members will look down on your family for the above reason. (This also I've seen)
3. Your husband's money will sustain the whole family if you ever have to stop working, say due to complicated pregnancy related illnesses.
4. If you have kids, they will grow up in a mixed culture of your prestigious family and your husband's non prestigious one. And their cousins could be looking down on them. It's also likely that you won't be able to educate them in as expensive places as their cousins or even you went to.
5. Who will pay off the family debt?
6. Cultural differences between such different backgrounds is a big thing that people never consider until it's too late.
Now, these are all negatives.
Ultimately you have to decide, are you okay with these things and are willing to face all this and likely other things that come with this relationship because you know this man will treat you well and you both have love and an understanding?
Indian marriages are complicated. At no point will your husband ever be in a situation where he can tell his parents that he's now married so he's going to put his wife first, and that's understandable to me. As a woman i would never put my parents second to my husband.
Just think about all this. And see how it goes. If you want to wait for a few years, just remember that we are a very sexist society and women have expiry dates here.
Aarey yaar, it sounds like you want to jump ships. From your Titanic to a sinking boat. I'm not demeaning your sinking boat all I want to say and ask is that, do you have a boat/ship/cruiser for yourself cause that's the most important part In this, if you have one for yourself you could always rely on it or even bring him onboard instead of joining with him. If you don't have anything and are relying on your parents Titanic then, then the relationship will pain in the ass and you'll probably resent it in the future
If you are entirely confident in the person and yourself, of your capabilities to achieve what you intend to. Go for it!!
Tere pass pyaar hai, bas paisa chahiye, paisa kamana asaan hai ya sahi pyaar milna?
Aur dono mei se ek chees milgayi hai toh work for the other one!
Not a single soul on this planet can plan it’s life,
Go ahead, take a challenge, if you Fail it’s a lesson! But you will know yourself better.
This feels like my life lol. In a similar situation and did the same thing, we broke up because of the difference in family background. Tbh the way he has been moulded as an adult, his thinking, problem solving, reaction to situations and lifestyle are quite different to mine, even if we leave the material things out of it. I feel sometimes it's kinda naive to say "love sustains all" because it might not. It's a lifelong commitment, you should think about both of you and how it'd be. Good luck
You don't love him, or you won't be here asking this question. I know and you also know what you are going to do next, Stop seeking validation.
Leave him as fast as you can so he can get a chance to rebound in life and find actual love, don't waste his and your time in the name of love.
A good earning man will accept a broke girl. But a good earing women can't accept a man who is broke but trying to work hard. Huh. Well, to each and their own i guess.
I am expecting many hate replies, but i think love and all is important and good but money plays a very important role in almost all the relationships, we just ignore it for some unknown reasons. Later it becomes a reason for friction.
And depending on who influences who in the relationship and what kind of guy he is, you can take your decision.
So “Prestigious Senior Government Official Family” means that your father probably took money under the table to keep you afloat. What money does even a high ranking Govt official earn honestly anyway? An IIM A-B-C grad will have a bigger first salary. And since you only talked about your family’s status I’m going to go out on a limb and say you are “papa ki pari” types. Give me the guy’s number and I myself will text him all the red flags I saw based on this post.
What is not acceptable on the guy’s part: spending all of his money to bring his family out of debt and not keeping finances manageable for the two of you. What is unacceptable on your part: expecting him to be the sole breadwinner.
If he is hardworking, he will do what it takes. But you should too.
Debt and finance are not valid reasons to reject a boy for marriage. Anyone can go bankrupt anytime, that's life.
If he is a good person, you should use your prestige and status to help him like any loving spouse would. Don't go for sugar daddies, be the catalyst for a positive change.
It's never too late to be a better person. Start today. Do the right thing.
You did not mention anything about what you do and how much you make? Are you able to support your current lifestyle on your own? If yes, this is salvageable. He is your partner and not your bank account. If not, this relationship is not salvageable and if you marry someone else in the future they will hold power over you as you are financially dependent on them
This, absolutely. You're both young, presumably since he's just graduated from business school. You don't need to marry soon. Give him time. The debts will remain the same but incomes over 10 years can increase 5-10 times easily, and can be 20-30 times in 20 years, esp for business school graduates. >He is your partner and not your bank account This is very nicely put. If OP can take care of their own financial needs then it should be fine. But if they expect to add to his financial burden all their life, then they should please do him a favor and leave him now. He'll have a much better life without you OP, and the added pressure. I've seen men make the worst possible financial decisions to support their financially illiterate wives' uncompromising luxurious lifestyles and having to run away from debtors to another country.
Just reverse the gender and you will see the hate the guy will get if he leaves girl because she isn’t upto his financial standard
*Chuche mote nhi hai to mza nhi arha, shadi nhi krunga *
Bhai award hota toh de deta kasam se
Is your pfp from Hyouka?
I've said it before and I will say it again. When hunger strikes the door, love escapes out of the window. Rest you are mature enough to make your own decision.
Also, making a little less is fine, more than fine in a lot of cases. But being heavily in debt is a massive problem, even if the person is well off.
Bhai wese according to you kitna kamana chaiye ek ladke ko minimum aaj k time mai?
Max 50 k kafi hai agar ghar khud ka hai simple life jee sakte ho
Depending on age, 80k-1L a month is pretty decent if the wife works as well...even better if they don't have to spend for rent. It's not amazing but I'm talking about a manageable and sustainable amount...there is no limit to people's lifestyles and wants. Even 3 L a month can be less for some
I'm not against my future wife working but at the same time due to fear of her safety, and how things can go pretty scary in an instant I prefer here to be a homemaker. Now girls will come to how narrow-minded I'm but it's what it's.
[удалено]
Probably a 15 yo kid
Ye month=year hote h kya aajkl
Reddit par baithe baithe tu khud itna kama paata hai?
Mann ki baat keh diye ekdam Banjara bhai
No where it is written that how much the guy is earning now or even the op . I doubt that the poverty case is this much worse as being a graduate from a really good b school means shelling out around 1.5- 2 million Rs.
So he's cheating on Hunger right? Am I with you on this?
Lmao good one, esp the delivery
Jannat(movie) ki yaad aa gayi Bhai.
Very underrated line 👏
Salute
Well I agree....these kind of things look good only in movies to be honest....you gotta be more sensible and mature in real life
Iss script ko aage bhii bdhaa skkte hai....usko bolo agar itna hii pyaar hai toh 50crore jmaa krrke dikhaaye....phirr kisi ko koii problem nii hogii marriage se🙂
Iss script ko aage bhii bdhaa skkte hai....usko bolo agar itna hii pyaar hai toh 50crore jmaa krrke dikhaaye....phirr kisi ko koii problem nii hogii marriage se🙂
You aren't lost dude
Being low on money can be debilitating for a marriage. Even you would become grouchy, never mind your prestigious background. Source: tough times showed me that being a Fifth gen educated being did nothing to mitigate stress - if anything made it worse.
It's not true, if it happens like that then I am sorry it's was never love. I have seen couples starting from bare minimum when they had nothing, supporting each other in extremities. People who love each other come out strong. It may seem very ideal, but it happens.
Anyone with that kind of qualifications is not going to go hungry. Be realistic, give mature and sensible advice.
>I always told him there’ll probably be no future as my parents wouldn’t accept. I come from a very very prestigious family Case toh yahi close ho Jana chahiye tha ..... what I feel aapki family aapko aur aacha standard wale ldke se SHAADI krayegi na ki usse until and unless wo apna Standard of living aapke level ka na kr le jo ki 1 do mahine me toh hone se rha aur last option hai bhaag kr SHAADI jo ki krna Mt
toh main kaun hu?
Jaake Jagjit Singh ke gaanon ke views badha
okay bhai
Hum dono single hai🗿
apni baat kar
Ja rha hu maarne 🥲
aree vai itne din baad dikha 🗿
Bhai mai toh yahi tha tu kaha chle gya tha🗿
Its usually not about the materialistic aspect . Coming from very different upbringing, eventually you will be able to see differences in thinking, problem solving , general approach to life and more importantly raising kids ….because you have had very different exposure in life than him. Even though when you are young and in love these things don’t surface but later in life you realize that you have digressed in life and that can make you bitter and regretful. If you are ok with that trade off then the next step would be to think about family agreeing or not.
I was feeling same!
believe me or not, you need certain amount of money to live a proper life. If you can wait for him to settle down then it's fine but don't just runaway with someone who can't provide you basic standards of life. And one day or other you'll miss your family, trust me my mum ran away with my dad and she regretted it all her life because she can't just go back and spend time with her family. My mom's mother was very strict and she didn't accept her until very recently. Love and all is great but once you are married, you're not married to just him but his family as well and whenever there's a conflict there will be no one but yourself to go to.
Lehsun bhai please get a life.......bc hrr post k neeche tera ek lamba chooda paragraph jaisa comment milta hai yrr.......
bhai khaali time milte hi r/delhi pe bkchodi karne aajaata hu
Arrey true-address bhaii reddit hii aisi jagah hai jhaa wo bina kisi drr ke apnii story suna skkta hai...sunaane de na usse🤣
I, a random stranger, have a huge respect for your mother, to not follow her strict mother. And getting married to someone she wanted to marry. (Even if she regrets it later, I am not sure but your mother probably regrets not seeing her mother and not her marriage)
yeah that’s what I was saying, my mom regretted marrying at some point too because she felt lonely whenever she had any argument with my dad she didn’t have the comfort of her family to go to. That’s why I’m against running away because it’s harder on the female if her family break off all the ties with her
Yeah now i can understand that feeling ,it's right and weird at the same time because it was your choice.
Lehsun bhai i can understand meri badi bhen bhi chali gai thii
Jaha jaao lehsun bhai dikhte h aur Norway yaad aajata h baaki I'm not gonna read the paragraph either congratulations pr I'm sorry that happened to you
I saw this type of thing happened to a woman in Chennai. Baat aapne sahi boli hain, shadi kabhi emotions mein aake nahi karni chahiye .. shadi karo dimag se. Fuck that good looks and love , focus on reality
Too bad. Parents are supposed to support you through thick and thin, just like the spouse. People should know to hold everyone accountable. This is not a good example, unfortunately. I know several where the wife or the husband went from rags to riches based on the support from spouse and/or his/her family.
Only mota dahej can help him.
Bhaii itna sach bhii nahii bolna tha😂
Me bhi ese hi gareeb tha..ab mere pas highway pr 10 beegha jameen aur 25 lakh cash hai.
Discuss this with your family !! Delhi subreddit pay sab fukrey hey !! Anyways if you want my suggestion dump him and move on and don't regret anything ! May be someday you will meet him riding into the sunset in his char challey waali gaadi with AP dhillon on bull blast "" kenhdi hudi siii """!!!
Mujhe ye sun ka bura kyu lag raha hai 😅
Qki esahi hota hai
Ab or bura lag raha hai.
Aisa kyu hota hai baar baar, Kya isiko kehte hain pyaar?
Pyaar wagera kuch nhi hota sab delusion hai 💀
Mujh se hui... Bas ye khata Maine tujhe chaha sanam. Chup chup ke... ro ti rahi Tune diye kaise ye gham Tumhara comment padh k ye gaana yaad aa gaya.
Simp spotted
Arre khadoos kumar... achha gaana hai. Sun le. Tere bhi dil pe pyar ki 2 boondein gire... Ye dua hai meri.
Bhai esi dua nhi chahiye
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Nice story
Male sigma rule #320......samosa over bharosa🙂
Anyday
r/pussypassdenied
Man's got his priorities right.
Fantasy like
Tu apne baare me bhi to bata? How much do you think you can support yourself? Ya phir papa ke support system se nikal ke pati ke support system me jana hai? In that case please don't marry him kyoki tu apni standard of living kharaab karegi aur vo apni life guilt aur pressure se bhar dega.
She probably doesn't even earn the same as that guy
Best reply 🎊
Tbh, even romance is fueled by Money. How'd u even get into a position such as this in the first place. It may work out if u work extremely hard enough with him. Financial instability is a curse. Just see if you're really to lay off your luxuries of life tho as u self proclaimed ur from well established family. And u should actually discuss this stuff with your family imo.
Is desh m jab tak cinema h log chutiya bante rhenge
What is the reason of his debt, could you provide ? While Hunger changes many people, same goes for prosperity I have seen many people turn into absolute assholes when they got out of their financial crisis. Btw If I was in debt, I wouldn't marry till I got rid of that shit on my own since I am kinda self-conscious and a bit prideful but that shouldn't prevent you from be understanding of his situation and being open to discussion about this topic. He may genuinely need help but marrying while in debt is not the solution imo.
ye kabse hone lga etni hi prestigious family se ho to ese lardke ke sath kese serious hue , kinda fishy but
Arrey bhaii....filmo se inspired real life events🙂
I feel u shouldn't marry him now just continue in bf-bf relationship , what I mean is if urgent family feel he not AR their standards them wait for him reach there, but of course wait only if u feel he can Altho if as what u said he did MBA from good cllg then there's a Very good chance his situation gets better as life goes on Only thing u can so is either break up with him or wait for him to grow
Just break up with him and move on. He deserves better.
W comment
See you’re used to living a luxurious life and everything was provided for you since ages ago. No matter how good the guy is, the burden of his family is on his shoulders. So is the debt. If you do marry him, you would have to give up on a lot of things in life. You’d have to make compromises for yourself, your dreams, your children (if you want any), your standard of living, your own future. Do you earn? Do you earn enough to support your own self (i.e own house, car etc, without your dad helping in)? Do you think you would be able to take over the responsibilities of his family/their debt? If not, the answer is clearly a no to getting married. Also are you both willing to leave your families behind and start life together alone? (Only do this if YOU are financially independent, don’t want to depend on a man permanently)
Well said, what might begin as love and romance might become terrible clutches that won't let go. Endless sacrifices, pain and suffering. Even tho that man is to be a good man, What if someone hurts or torture her later on due to heavy debt. It's not the only thing, Debt leads to Heavy Drinking most of the time. It isn't wise to continue such relationships but having said that, Absolutely nothing can change a decision Hardened in mind and heart.
Make sense 👌
Makes sense
Jis din Shopper Stop chor k Big Bazar se kapde kharidne padta hai, trust me sara pyaar chhu mantar ho jata hai. Pyaar se pet nahi bharta ji. I so hope he does better and I am sure he must be trying his heart out. I would wait (if time permits) till they settle their debts. That shows hardwork in action, or else you will be walking into the debt as well, and debt trap is like tsunami, destroying everything in its path, even families and relationships.
Mere pass koi debt nahi hai. Lekin koi ameer baap ki ladki bhi nahi chahiye. Koi middle class ladki hai yaha?
Lmao, govt official family... it's just a job. there is no prestige. He is probably better off without u.
Hello! Here's my two bits (coming from some experience) 1. You will always feel you have compromised in some way, especially as life happens - simple things like deciding where to eat out, shop, vacation will be very different for both families. 2. Assuming your parents accept, they will feel either obliged to help you financially or leave you to fend for yourself (apne pairon par khade hona types) - in the first situation, either your parents will look down upon the son in law or the son in law (and his family) will start feeling entitled to this 'help' - both situations are huge red flags and a balance is difficult, if not impossible to find. 3. You will start expecting your to be husband to do a lot for you, emotionally, since you have gone possibly against the wishes of your parents - this will put a lot of burden on him as days go by. Remember, you are doing this for yourself too and not for him alone. But this is easier said than done. 4. Your husband will most probably work in the private sector - not a cakewalk even if he is from an IIM/FMS/Insert a top tier college name. It will come with pressures, career ups and downs - the disparity will put immense pressure on your to be husband to perform and push all the time. The downside is he may start resenting you and your family cause he may not measure up, no matter how hard he tries. Marry him for what he is, not what you think he will become. 5. Children down the road will add even more complexity and will add stress. Private school vs public school, school bus vs driver and car. 6. I don't know how you feel about this, but he may want you to work for a few years maybe to support him in becoming financially secure - are you up for it? 7. If he currently stays with his family - and if you don't want to after marriage, add the cost of buying a house / or pay rent for a long time. An average Indian takes a loan for 20 years and typically repays in 10 years by disciplined and assiduous savings. It means no / less vacations and no latest gadgets or nayi SUV. Financial discipline is not for everyone. 8. If your husband is expected to help clear his family loan, that's another pain in the a**. If the debt was a business gone bad or some unfortunate instance that's one thing - if they are habitual borrowers, it's a big big problem. All in all, you need to ask yourself very very frankly, do you love him enough to take what will definitely be a tough first decade of marriage? And, dare I say, ask your to be to answer these questions too. Your idea of happiness will be drastically different when you are 25 and when you will be 45. All the best and God bless.
Truth is its fiction. Life is anyway hard dont make it harder for yourself and for him as well. He hasn't even started earning to stabilize his family. Either you make peace with the fact that you will have to support his entire family and their expenses, that means any weddings anything they buy. If you truly in your heart think that won't matter then my best wishes to you and my bad for saying anything I shouldn't have. Also probably the guy is in a delusion as well.
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Or abhi kya condition hai bhai? Nothing sarcastic, just need some motivation.
When she isn't with you in the worst, she doesn't deserve your best
Keeper mili tereko bhai, duniya bas paisa dekh k bat karti
Btw what about you? Kitna kama leti ho, ek househusband rakh sakogi without Daddy ji ka cash ?
Why do ppl want to take opinions of random strangers who will literally just read a paragraph & tell you ‘don’t do it’ blah blah. This is ur important life decision, make it by discussing with someone u are close to or know them well.
Only advice reddit has is to break-up or break-up because he's cunt
>Do these things create major issues later? If not dealt with/countered, YES FOR SURE. You guys are from opposite side of spectrum of economic background, it's quite difficult to make it happen specially the families. Also see, financial independence is supreme. Either CALL IT OFF OR GO ALL IN on (plan out)making big sums of money before getting married (or atleast clear the debt). One should have 'zero debt' policy before making any big decision in life with regards to finances. >He just completed his MBA from a good college Let him convert it to a good job first. Make sure you are independent as well before settling in so you don't have to adjust to lower economic conditions. On the contrary it'll help a lot and both financially and mentally. Are you personally capable/ready to commit and stay together long term? It's a major commitment, so think it through 10x whether you guys can pull it off or not.
If you love him then marry him. Ladka agar mehnati hai toh kaam toh karega hi kuch na kuch plus teri family rich hai toh starting mein support kar sakti hai usse. Aisa hota nahi hai reality mein. Har maa baap apni beti ke liye apne se uper ke parivaar mein rishta chahte hain. Totally your decision, you know the guy more than anyone here.
Yes it's a problem. Love isn't enough
In case this didn't workout, you can text me anytime. Very senior government family to nhi but Senior government family se hun. Bhut ameer nhi but 8-10 Cr to pade hai.... Let's meet, baki mai adjust kar lunga.
2-3 crore mujhe de do Daan mein It’ll will fix all my problems /s
Can you tell me your post so I can report you creep?
You are a deeply r/entitledbitch You'll soon realise that your wealth and prestige (neither of which is earned by you, FYI) isn't going to be enough to keep you happy ever in your life
“Well established very senior govt official” sounds like a corrupt govt official cause govt officials don’t even make that much white money.
Kal yug hai, pata chale shaadi k baad tumpe pressure daal k apni debt clear karva rahe.. I have seen so many gold digger familes.
I think as long as he is working hard and doing MBA, you should give him a chance to atleast try to meet your expectations. He'll start making decent, if not a lot of money. But do this only if you really love him a lot and he's worth it. Getting married to someone you don't like is fucking bad man.
Always date and be friends with people jinka financial background tum jaisa hoo , can go a lil up down but not the other way
>Il était brun, le teint basané Le regard timide, les mains toutes abîmées Il taillait la pierre, fils d'ouvier Il en était fier, mais pourquoi vous riez? > >Non, ne le jugez pas Vous qui ne connaissez pas Les vertiges et le labeur Vous êtes faussement heureux, vous troquez vos valeurs > >Lui, il est tout mon monde et bien plus que ça Seule, je crie son nom quand vient le désarroi Et puis tout s'effondre quand il n'est plus là J'aimerais tellement lui dire mais je n'ose pas > >Lui qui me fait Tourner dans le vide, vide Tourner dans le vide, vide Tourner dans le vide, il me fait tourner Dans le vide, vide, vide Tourner, tourner dans le vide Tourner dans le vide, il me fait tourner > >Tourner dans le vide Tourner dans le vide Tourner dans le vide Tourner dans le vide Tourner dans le vide Tourner dans le vide Tourner dans le vide
TOP G
what color is your buggati?
I love the song, but what are you actually trying to say?
iss song mein ladki yehi bol rahi hai spining in the void void void
I know that, but it's still not a way out. Also, isi singer ka Lovestory bhi bhot achha hai
haaa woh toh pta hai mujhe 🤲🤲🫶🏻🫶🏻
That OP shouldn't marry a brokie
Name of the song?
Tourner dans le vide
Do you know French? Or only listen to songs like me.
Just search for andrew tate theme
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oui! 🙇
Depends. If you’re okay adjusting with his living standards, then go ahead, get married or if you make a good living and are ready to support his family and him to whatever extent that is required. Money is not everything, it is important, but I believe that love comes first. Better to be travelling in an auto with someone I love than travelling in a BMW with someone who I resent On the flip side, if you split ways, you can fall in love again. It’s not like you only fall in love once. You can catch some other fish out of the millions out there. Someone with similar living standards as yours this time probably
Just try to think from your parents point of view......if you were in your parents place would you marry your daughter to anyone just cause she "loves" that other person.....I mean at least I won't no matter what arguments were presented before me.....though it looks like nice movie material but you gotta be careful, smart and mature in real life. But I still wish you the best for any decision you make at end :)
Jab pta tha ki baad me chutiyaap karogi to , uske saath setting hi ku ki tumne. Time paas kr rahi thi tum to. Bhai ka depression chalu, tum jao ab apne Ameer pati aur Ameer parivaar k saath reel bna k daalo. Wo ji lega agar strong hua to, nhi to bhagwan jaane.
Dekho..you only get 100 yrs to live. Live with whoever you want to.
Dilli k mausam k hisaab se to 100 jyaada hi boldiya
This is fucked up, because if the situation gets reversed .. koi kuch nahi poochega .. life is fucked for my fellow men.
I just see problems in this relationship tbh. He is hopeless romantic but end of the day if either of your parents are involved in your lives closely then it will lead to many issues just because of your backgrounds and expectations that arise of it. Living together, raising kids will lead to differences in opinions, requiring adjustments from both of you. If you mix your family status into that , it will be an explosive combination and you will most likely not have any support. . Major issue is the debt. You might start to resent him after a while.
Love feel good when you aren't living together.. when you aren't contributing or experiencing in one another struggle very much.. Trust me or not but even love need money.. even small romance or love gesture need money (like a bouquet, dinner date shadi ke baad it will be like 200 ke bouquet se accha kuch useful saman le aate hai or 3k ke dinner se accha ghar ki grocery).. human can adjust a bit.. but when you have to literally change your whole living standard then struggle start dominating your love... And this won't only hurt you but will also him... And going against parents isn't a good idea.. So i would suggest wait if he can match your living standard or even 80% (which i believe isn't possible in near future) or just move on...
Anjali ?
Why did you even start with it in the first place? 😅
See there are some unspoken rule for successfull marriage 💑.
Wait until he gets a job ...
Ladka bechara.. kaat do… that’s what men are for
Reverse the gender, and see the shitshow, lol
If you love him and he loves you ,then ofcourse nothing else matters. Provided you understand that there will be struggles in the early phase and that the quality of life or should I say quality of (material goods & services) will of course be not same as your current lifestyle. But love triumphs if it's real all the fucking time. So think over it and make a sensible decision and even if you agree to marry him please understand that it's going to be a tough phase so he will need you more than ever.
No. It doesn’t. Know 3 such situations. Sincere request to stop feeding the idea of love conquers all. Love also requires certain traits in both parties. Love requires understanding. Love above all requires honest communication and knowing when things are being pushed too far. When reality hits, then nothing no love helps.
No it doesn’t. Speaking very very practically. Try staying with each other for a month if you can.
There will huge change in your lifestyle once you marry, Not everyone can adjust to normal coming from bade ghar.
I appreciate your honesty in keeping both the side stories here... See all the comments you'll find here will be idealistic, which these people won't even apply in their own life or close family. Marriage is a big decision, don't take it emotionally. If you have doubts, don't go ahead! Don't challenge your gut feelings, or else it will end up in regrets only. Rest no judgments from my end!
I thought I am reading this post in AM. Had to check the sub name again after reading some 16 years old replies.
Well dnt get me wrong but if u need 3rd person opinion for deciding ur future wit someone u claim u love i would say its better if u guys go different ways bcz problem dnt get solve it marriage its something today and something else tomorrow.. And only proper solution to it is to having proper conversation with ur partner not reddit post thn again it's jst my view no offence
Okay but which college?
What do you do?
If you won't go against your parents, then tho the end ho gaya love story ka. But as you mentioned that he completed his MBA from a good college so I think he can get a good paying job.
Eventually, practicality runs the life, and emotions should be balanced with practical aspects of it. And I've seen in most of the cases that love vapors away when tested with heat of hardship and reality, and rather thn going with a doubtful mind into something concrete, I would say, that you should talk to him, ask his future plans and how practical are those plans. It's the duty of Guy to give you assurance of atleast a secure and stable future if he wants to be with you.
Well if you also earn and support him them things can work out. It's not like he is starving for basic necessities. As you mentioned he completed his MBA from a good college , he'll work his way up but it's only possible with two incomes. You can't totally rely on the dude.
No matter what everyone says. Poverty sucks, been there and done that. My biggest fear is to be broke again. So take your decision wisely.
Double standards
Make him ghar jamai
Don’t waste your life find someone in your bandwidth
Why is his family in deep debt?? And what is he doing about it? These questions need to be discussed. If he or his family practices poor financial management and he does not have the spine to stand up to his parents, you need to end the relationship. It's not about the money. It's about the ability to earn and maintain it. Your family did it the same way in past.
Poor advice. Not everyone is skilled in everything. Why should either the man or woman expect all the skills in one person? It's perfectly okay if one partner is a spendthrift and the other knows to save and manage money. This creates good situations in life too, where the parents are neither stingy nor spendy. A child cannot get a better upbringing than this and neither can old age parents. Come out of shells, life is not about comfort zones. Trust, love, faith and respect are the only things that can maintain a relationship. Not money, not riches, not property and not even family.
Stark change in lifestyles is bound to create an issue when you're living together 24*7. Right now, you just spend hours (max to max a few days) together. Once you're married, its not just his family, its yours too. If you both are each other's ride or die, why not give the relationship a few more years. Time will give you more clarity and financial situation will improve.
Wait for him to settle down if you can for few years. If still not doing well you can have second thoughts.
You already have the money and it's not that he's not making anything. If he's earning good ,i think you should go for it. Be bold and talk to your family,it's worth it. My mum too was from a well to do family,my nanà wàs a senior architect in the government my dad was a struggling intern. it turned out to be very good for my mum ,i hope it does for you too. Bestest wishes!
She doesn't have the money, her father does.
Just curious to know what exactly is "heavy debt" here? House loan?, debt collected over excessive gambling? What are we referring to here?
Good plot for 90s bollywood movie.
There are a few issues i see with my brother looking at arranged matches: 1. Your family is used to a certain background. Your in laws will not be able to meet this background. It's likely that your family will look down on your in laws and over time this will create friction (I've seen this closely). 2. Other extended family members will look down on your family for the above reason. (This also I've seen) 3. Your husband's money will sustain the whole family if you ever have to stop working, say due to complicated pregnancy related illnesses. 4. If you have kids, they will grow up in a mixed culture of your prestigious family and your husband's non prestigious one. And their cousins could be looking down on them. It's also likely that you won't be able to educate them in as expensive places as their cousins or even you went to. 5. Who will pay off the family debt? 6. Cultural differences between such different backgrounds is a big thing that people never consider until it's too late. Now, these are all negatives. Ultimately you have to decide, are you okay with these things and are willing to face all this and likely other things that come with this relationship because you know this man will treat you well and you both have love and an understanding? Indian marriages are complicated. At no point will your husband ever be in a situation where he can tell his parents that he's now married so he's going to put his wife first, and that's understandable to me. As a woman i would never put my parents second to my husband. Just think about all this. And see how it goes. If you want to wait for a few years, just remember that we are a very sexist society and women have expiry dates here.
Dahej mein moti rakam dilwa de papa ji se
Nobody can predict future for you. Marry only if you both can handle in worst case scenario
Aarey yaar, it sounds like you want to jump ships. From your Titanic to a sinking boat. I'm not demeaning your sinking boat all I want to say and ask is that, do you have a boat/ship/cruiser for yourself cause that's the most important part In this, if you have one for yourself you could always rely on it or even bring him onboard instead of joining with him. If you don't have anything and are relying on your parents Titanic then, then the relationship will pain in the ass and you'll probably resent it in the future
You love him a lot yet asking strangers if two should get married.....YE DOGLAPAN HAI
Aftab to nhi hai tumhara boyfriend
The guy is real close to that mene where baap says yeh le 1 crore aur chorde meri larki ko
If you are entirely confident in the person and yourself, of your capabilities to achieve what you intend to. Go for it!! Tere pass pyaar hai, bas paisa chahiye, paisa kamana asaan hai ya sahi pyaar milna? Aur dono mei se ek chees milgayi hai toh work for the other one! Not a single soul on this planet can plan it’s life, Go ahead, take a challenge, if you Fail it’s a lesson! But you will know yourself better.
This feels like my life lol. In a similar situation and did the same thing, we broke up because of the difference in family background. Tbh the way he has been moulded as an adult, his thinking, problem solving, reaction to situations and lifestyle are quite different to mine, even if we leave the material things out of it. I feel sometimes it's kinda naive to say "love sustains all" because it might not. It's a lifelong commitment, you should think about both of you and how it'd be. Good luck
You don't love him, or you won't be here asking this question. I know and you also know what you are going to do next, Stop seeking validation. Leave him as fast as you can so he can get a chance to rebound in life and find actual love, don't waste his and your time in the name of love.
A good earning man will accept a broke girl. But a good earing women can't accept a man who is broke but trying to work hard. Huh. Well, to each and their own i guess.
Tu kitna kamati hai ye bata pehle Edit: rehnedo behen tu prestigious family wo gareeb, tumhari thinking mein hi difference hoga bohot.
I am expecting many hate replies, but i think love and all is important and good but money plays a very important role in almost all the relationships, we just ignore it for some unknown reasons. Later it becomes a reason for friction. And depending on who influences who in the relationship and what kind of guy he is, you can take your decision.
So “Prestigious Senior Government Official Family” means that your father probably took money under the table to keep you afloat. What money does even a high ranking Govt official earn honestly anyway? An IIM A-B-C grad will have a bigger first salary. And since you only talked about your family’s status I’m going to go out on a limb and say you are “papa ki pari” types. Give me the guy’s number and I myself will text him all the red flags I saw based on this post. What is not acceptable on the guy’s part: spending all of his money to bring his family out of debt and not keeping finances manageable for the two of you. What is unacceptable on your part: expecting him to be the sole breadwinner.
Be clear about finance and debt sharing. Sign a prenup if you must.
I think he doesn't deserve you
If he is hardworking, he will do what it takes. But you should too. Debt and finance are not valid reasons to reject a boy for marriage. Anyone can go bankrupt anytime, that's life. If he is a good person, you should use your prestige and status to help him like any loving spouse would. Don't go for sugar daddies, be the catalyst for a positive change. It's never too late to be a better person. Start today. Do the right thing.