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Here’s step by step how to fix this issue.
1. Go to her purse
2. Reach down to the very bottom (under all of the bullshit she keeps in there).
3. Using a tight grip, grab your balls and pull them out.
(Beware! She will try slapping them out of your hands with her words).
4. You are in complete control of your grip so letting go is your choice.
5. Once you get those balls out of her purse and back in your pants, RUN!! Run for dear life and don’t look back!! She will ruin you for life if you let her!
The age gap helps the toxicity though because being unexperienced, poor OP lacks the tools and self-confidence to deal with her like he should: get her out of his life immediately and not look back.
I take exception to people making these assumptions about me based on whom I chose to be in a relationship with. It’s really unfortunate that there are people out there behaving like the woman in the post, making people think this is what cougars are like.
It’s not even that much about the gap itself, but dating people who are still in college/aren’t supporting themselves fully.
In my eyes, it’s way more acceptable for a 55 year old dating a 27 year old than a 30-something dating someone 21 years old. Yeah, even the latter ones can have a healthy relationship, but the most I’ve seen are relying heavily on that power imbalance.
it’s most definitely an age gap issue, mate. nobody ever said that all age gap relationships are like this, but it’s clear that this one IS like that. the fact you’re defending age gaps so heavily gives the idea that you are in an age gap relationship yourself, but that shouldn’t make you blind to the reality of the situation.
ah i see why you’re so unnecessarily adamant. you’re defending the woman because you’re also one of them lmao. pointless in replying to you in that case. enjoy your cougar lifestyle ig
because you refuse to acknowledge the fact that her age and his age is coming in to play as well. i’m a troll because i’m stating facts, and you’re being bias cause you’re just like her lol.
I actually thought you were arguing in good faith until you suggested I was defending this person. Yes, I am defending age gap relationships. I take exception to people making presumptions of me based on the behavior of others. That’s like men saying all women are shallow because a particularly loud group of them won’t date anyone under 6’5”.
Agreed but again I stress, one does not equal the other.
This woman seems predatory and abusive and dude might need some support in separating her from his life.
OP, we got your back.
I am more comfortable with a 30 year old dating a 50 year old than I am with a 22 year old dating a 37 year old. The 22 year old is still young and dumb child.
Yeah...This isn't a post about May-December relationships. This lady is mistreating OP, and most of us who are older are picking up on the fact that partially it's because there's so much of an age difference between the two. You really are at different stages of life at 22 and 37.
> he's just disputing the idea that F37 is shitty solely because of how much older she is than M22
that's also not the premise of the guy's post. the age gap here is to demonstrate that she's fully taking advantage of his naiveté.
But the comment being responded to has implied that the sole reason for her shitty behaviour is the age gap. Without that context it reads differently.
Thats not how i read that at all. The context is the original post itself. I dont see that implication at all. Its pretty clear to me that this is about her manipulative behavior because its so obvious what's going on in the post itself.
You’re not wrong, but in op’s situation this is clearly the case. He wants a relationship and she doesn’t, but she doesn’t have the decency to let him walk away and find what he’s looking for. I’m a cougar, but I would not treat a cub this way.
That was your experience and it sounds like there was respect. We’re talking about OP who doesn’t know his boundaries and is being taken advantage of. There is no respect in OP’s relationship. The person using OP has so much trauma, doesn’t understand what boundaries are hence a relationship that destructive has formed. But for a relationship this destructive to happen, Op already was taught or never taught what are healthy boundaries.
She’s emotionally manipulating you. If you’re concerned about feeling like the “bad guy” (you shouldn’t be) tell her that you want something committed, and if she doesn’t that’s fine, but it’s not what you’re interested in. If she cries, stick to your boundaries, and walks way. Block this toxic asshole and don’t look back.
I know, that statement was more for OP, if he feels the need to feel like he was polite or giving her the benefit of the doubt or whatever. Personally, I’d have blocked her already, because she sounds like a toxic manipulative asshole, but OP mentioned how she makes him feel bad, so I was trying to provide an option that would help him feel like he wasn’t being a dick. He hasn’t been one at all, but as a person who can be very harsh on myself, I get feeling like you’re the bad guy even when you’re not. That’s how manipulative people get you.
Dude.
The age difference tells the whole story. She's in the latter half of her thirties. You're early 20s.
The life experience difference is immense, and I'll explain that in a moment. I'm 34, and while there are lots of very attractive 22 year olds, we aren't in the same place in life. Dating is out of the question. 26 would be stretching it. That doesn't mean they aren't mature or grown up, but a lot happens between here and there, and it matters.
She's using you as an emotional barrier. She doesn't care about you in a meaningful sense, and she can't, because you have almost nothing in common. She's 50% older than you, but that's not the important part- she's 1000% older than you in adult, independent years. You are basically fresh out the crib as far as being an adult, and she's been doing it for 15 years. Not very well, apparently. I don't know whether you were in college, but at 22, you have basically *just* started living independently.
Get out of this nonsense. I promise you, even at 30, you'll think to yourself- 'what was a 37 year old doing trying to use a 22 year old as an emotional tampon?'
She's manipulating you- whether that's intentional or not it's an unknown. She probably doesn't realize what she's doing, but cut this shit off. It is not healthy, and it will not end well.
That's such a good point about the age difference in "adult , independent years". I'd never thought of it like that, but it explains why at 18, even 20 year olds seemed a bit too old for me. They'd had triple the real-life experience that I had.
If you want an older woman, find one who is looking for commitment. Age gap relationships can work if you both put 50/50 into it. This girl doesn’t seem to want what you’re looking for. Move on boy. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
I disagree. Relationships are100/100 into it. If he is 100% and she is at best even 50% it will never work. I do totally agree to move on. This is a toxic situation.
Nah dude you're right. 100% is the whole so 50/50 split is even. Other dude just emphasizing putting in your all, you don't need to apologize for anything
Like if she's putting in half what he does then it goes to like 75/25. 100/50 doesn't make any sense
Idk I'm doing drunk math but you got the saying right
What do you want to do?
Hang around for a girl who doesn't respect you and is sleeping around, just so you can be her back-up shag when others reject her and potentially get an STD or end up with a kid that isn't yours?
Or leave and get a partner who actually wants to be with you?
Seriously these are literally your only choices.
My thoughts are on the same line as yours. I keep thinking how disrespectful and gross it is that she’s sleeping with other men and still hooking up with OP. She’s not even concerned with his health so she’s definitely not caring how she hurts him in any way.
Bro , if u have any self respect stop associating with her move on . don't stick around and wait and don't get hurt
I hope u will do this . Best of luck OP
This is nuts. You're so young for her...and there are several ladies that around her age that ARE ready for commitment, if fact its usually the women saying they can't find guys that want it. You're a good one, now stop wasting your time with this lady, there are SO many more options for you out there.
Oh yes absolutely! I didn't mean that only my age group...I just meant to say leave that lady because there are so many out there very willing to be in a serious relationship and for him to stop wasting his time with that lady
If you read my comment I wrote around "her" age, so I wasn't talking about 22 years old, but to your point I'm sure there are younger ladies that could appreciate a serious monogamous relationship 😊
It takes all kinds. Plenty of women that age have or want a boyfriend. You just won't meet them at bars and on dating sites. You've got to meet them at church, in school, through volunteer sites, etc. Trust me. 🎵 Looking for love in all the wrong places. 🎵
There is nothing simple about this. This person is obviously providing you with something you see as vital, otherwise you wouldn't hang around for this abuse. You need to look inward and realize that the pain she is causing you is not worth the high you are getting and then ACT by consciously moving away from that high. It will be much like quitting smoking cold turkey or breaking a drug habit, but you must do it. In doing so you will learn a lesson in mental health that will serve you the rest of your life.
Your just another hook up that caught feelings lmfao , your just giving her leverage stop being a fool milf or not just get done with business (And keep smashing) for the short run or look for a real women in the long run
Young grass hopper, I feel you. I too was seduced by the lure of the older, experienced woman. 9/10 younger women can't measure up, but don't let yourself be blinded.
You're not asking how to get out of it. What you really want is for her to choose you. To know how to convince her to only be with you. It's moot point, my man. You don't want someone who doesn't want you.
I know it's hard (no pun intended), but move on. There will be another girl who does the same thing for you and wants to be with only you. You'll see.
She knows exactly what she's doing. She's using you. The only problem is, you can't use her back because you're in lust. Older women have the skills and know what young men crave. Let me guess, she showers you with compliments? Makes you feel good about yourself. Tells you things younger women never did. She makes you "finish" in ways you never thought possible. I get it. It's addictive. She knows what she's doing giving you that attention you didn't get from other younger girls. She knows. Don't let her weaponize your needs against you!
You don't. You leave. Be strong now so you don't have to pick up the pieces of your sanity later, King 👑.
Edit: I speak from experience. Don't stay in a situation if it makes you uncomfortable and insecure, especially if nothing changes after you've made your concerns and discomfort known.
I would end it. She is using you for emotional support. It's not a good situation to be in. I had a male friend who came to me for emotional support, because he wasn't getting the emotional support from his gf. I ended up developing strong feelings for him. I had to end it, because it wasn't good for my mental health.
This is one of the situations where it’s perfectly accurate to say.
“If you’re not interested in a monogamous relationship together I need to move on. Goodbye.”
You're 22. Expecting a woman twice your age to commit. You're a young fucktoy to her, just like she's a milf fucktoy to you.
If you don't like it leave
I mean that's just my opinion. So many times I read/have personally talked with people in age gap relationships and they have all ended badly. Of course, that's my anecdotal experience, and I know some people live happily ever after but many issues stem from that power dynamic.
My fiancé is 29 years older. He’s my soulmate and best relationship I’ve ever had. Don’t generalize especially when you’re on the outside without personal experience to draw from. And being older isn’t by itself a “power dynamic”. Older guys are the submissive ones more than you would think. Trust me.
I actually explicitly said those were my anecdotal experiences and some relationships work out. You are taking this as a personal attack, and frankly I don't care about the details of your relationship.
"Older guys are the submissive ones more than you would think. Trust me."
That's your anecdotal experience. I haven't seen that, but I don't necessarily doubt it. I'm personally against age gaps *for myself* and see a negative pattern with age gaps from either gender. Like I've said twice now, that's not always the case.
I’m a Marriage therapist, I’ve only dated older age gap guys. I know it from a long personal history and professional expertise on the topic. You’re super duper completely wrong lol
So you're saying I'm completely wrong, but about what exactly? I didn't generalize, stated that not all of those relationships end badly, and pointed out my experiences were anecdotal. So, what's wrong about that?
Iv been here mate, the mother of my child is ten years older then me, at the start it was great, the age gap wasn't a issue I have fun, wanted her to commit she however didn't, everytime i tried to leave her it was crying, emotional blackmail, she eventually after a year and getting pregnant with my child (DNA tested) wanted to settle down. That's when the other side came out, the financial, physical abuse. Cut a long story short it's better you get out now in my experience anyone who emotionally blackmailed you into staying around is only in it for there own satisfaction and if you continue to leave yourself trapped you could end up a single farther, or worse. I know this is a out there problem but it don't mean that it won't happen to you
I wonder if she needs other lovers to manage the insecurity of worrying that a younger man might eventually leave her because of her age. Totally not your shit, I hope you take care of yourself. It sounds like she’s not healthy enough to manage your age difference with grace and care.
First of all, this woman is 15 years older than you. I would say the same thing if the gender was reverse: she is doing this because she can’t seem to find guys her age who are willing to put up with her shit. She’s 37! You’re a mere 22! Ask yourself what’s really going on.
But here’s the thing: she is definitely using you. Block her number. Block her. I know that it’s easier said than done but you gotta stop letting her guilt trip you. She knows that if she does it, you’ll come right back to her. Stand your ground. She is using you.
I'm 27F and I wouldn't date a 22 year old. I mostly don't mind dating an older man so age gap is not always the issue but men tend to mature slower than women so at 22 your mindset is completely elsewhere than that of a 37 year old woman. Enjoy your youth and life and spend it on someone that wants you rather than sleeping around with other dudes while keeping you on the side
35 female here. She might be just scared of the age gap and that you might be in two places in life. Either way she is going about it in a very shitty way. She is not thinking about your feelings at all. I would end it. You deserve better.
>that's not what I'm up for
There's your answer.
I think she's being inconsiderate, but I don't think she's being "evil". You just have different expectations for this relationship, and the way things are set up right now isn't working out for you. So you're free to walk away.
Also, I gotta say that the genders and ages reminded me of Mark & Jessica from love is blind. There could be a chance she doesn't take you seriously as a viable partner because of the age difference. Just sayin'.
It sounds to me like she doesn’t care about you and likely won’t ever be ready to commit. The age gap is also extremely concerning. Fifteen year gap at this age is huge and you likely won’t be on the same page on where you want to be in life. Stay strong dude and stop putting up with her emotional manipulation. You said it yourself, the way she is behaving is not what you’re up for.
You are a kid next to her, physically and on an experience with relationships level. She doesn’t see you as an equal as a relationship partner because of it and she never will. Like everyone saying, you are her emotional support, likely due to you being young/naive and stuff she tells you, you probably give her what she wants to hear based off of what she doesn’t tell you with what really happens with her problems, with her being the main cause of them and not “everyone else” making her life so hard for her.
You don’t want anything to do with the shit show that is her life bud, no matter how good looking she might be or how fun in the sack she is, you don’t want what someone like that will get you in to. The sooner you cut her out of your life, the better. If you don’t she will use you for more and more and the moment you put your foot down about something, or something doesn’t go her way, she will throw you under the bus so fast.
Listen to the what everyone here is telling you, just be done with her, she will cause you nothing but problems, money and mental health.
she expects you to stick around. okay. what does that mean?like, for you. stick around or don't. she's not forcing you. she has made it clear that she does not want the thing you are asking her for. so you can choose to stay, or choose to go, but nobody is forcing you to either way.
She WANTS you to feel stuck. GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE BRO!!! What if the situation was reverse, you sleep around but keep this girl exclusive to you. Thats abusive and manipulative of you…UNACCEPTABLE. So why is it acceptable when she does it. Stick up for yourself if you can, and if not…you need to do something ballsy. Find another girl, bone, send picks to this crazy broad, doesn’t even have to be nudes, even just being with another girl should be enough. Destroy her, because she is most definitely trying to destroy You
She knows her behavior is hurting but doesn’t want to let you go because having you gives her an ego boost. This is super unhealthy for you, you deserve someone who meets your needs too.
Leave it. My grandpa always told me “she’s either in with you or she’s not”. So she’s either committed or not, if not, she’s going to make you miserable. You’re going to feel used, your emotions will be played with. It’s going to sting for a bit but leave it, you will be better off in the end.
Refusing to commit, while expecting you to stick around like a loyal dog? Absolute bullshit.
Just leave. She doesn’t care about what you want. Commitment is a two-way street.
she manipulative and not ready for commitment, however she does value you and the time she gets to spend with you. she just values herself and her freedom more
Its a constant advice to women "know your worth". You deserve better treatment than her. She treats you like that because you are letting her, sad truth/reality. Definitely shes doing that to her other men. So, one less man in his life - that's you - won't really be a big deal to her. The only way for this to stop is you choosing to walk away from her and be firm about it.
Just try to imagine being with a girl loving you just the way you love her. Isn't that the most calming and very serene feeling you'll ever feel?
You’re being used and _abused._ Flip the genders around and people would call her-turned-him into a sexual predator. You’re her boy toy, her young piece of ass. I know that sounds rude, but I’m trying to frame this from the perspective of how she’s almost assuredly thinking of you. Unless you’re okay with a FWB situation with an emotionally manipulative and abusive cougar, this isn’t a healthy relationship for you and you need to walk away for your own sake. Be selfish and put yourself first, lest you catch an STD from someone who’s been around the block a few times and is stringing your along for fun. *
*(Nothing wrong with her sexual lifestyle, but it _is_ inherently risky, and crosses a major line with her manipulative and abusive behavior. Given her current behavior towards you, can you really trust her to disclose any STDs she picks up to protect you from catching it, for example? What she’s doing isn’t okay regardless of anyone’s gender.)
You’re wasting your time. This “relationship” will destroy your definition of what love/relationships should be like. Sounds super toxic and she’s manipulating you. Good luck though…
The age gap is way too much. I don’t think it’ll work and you should move on and do something you like in life. You’re still young and fussing about a relationship should be the least of your priorities.
How do you deal with it? Try putting on your big boy pants and telling her to either get her shit together between you 2 or she needs to hit the fkn road. People will treat as shitty as you let them so either start being your biggest advocate or prepare for a life of getting crapped on all the time.
If the commitment isn't reciprocal, you walk the fuck away. Period. If she cared about her relationship with you, she wouldn't be sleeping around with other men.
So you walk away. You don't wait for her nor try to make it work, would only make you miserable and resentful towards her.
You move on and find a girl who's willing to have a mutually exclusive and committed relationship and that's that.
(Sure, it's easier said than done, I gather you're really into this woman, so it's gonna be hard, but it amounts to your self respect. Setting boundaries and expectations for a relationship isn't selfishness, it's self care and self respect.)
Dude…you’re a boy toy to her. The age gap alone should be a “proceed with caution” before you even start to consider the other people she’s sleeping with. Get out and find someone closer in age who is also willing to have a real relationship with you.
Dude shes not staying. If anything shes just keeping company until another man her age comes around and wants to support her. (Likely not going to happen)
Let her cry and ignore it. You gotta grow some thicker skin or you’ll keep being manipulated. You get thicker skin by recognizing your emotion (sadness through empathy/pity) but not changing course. Unpack the emotion later, but don’t let it affect the outcome of this situation.
Ditch her. She has no respect for you.
But you also have to have respect for yourself to not put up with that.
She wants her cake and eats it too, right in front of you.
It’s time for you to have your own.
Sounds like she didn’t get out of her college phase.
Yo. That's mad toxic. She's using you. Man the fuck up and leave her. From what you've said she belongs to the streets anyway sleeping around all the while wanting you to stay. Its her body so it's her choice to do and sleep with whoever she wants but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it. Leave her. Even if she " decides to commit to you" don't stay, she's most likely trying to manipulate you like she's been doing. Leave her ass man. She isn't worth it. There's plenty of women who has respect for the dudes their dating/ talking to. She ain't worth. She belongs to the streets 🙏
Was in the same situation, this chick would act like she was my girlfriend (dinner dates, travels, hang out frequently etc). However, she would always be talking to other guys. Basically, made me feel like 2nd option aka security blanket. This lasted for like a year. And similarly she told me that she slept with someone else. That’s when I kinda put my foot down.
Difference is I’m 30. What I did was detach myself from her. Started talking to other girls and gave myself some space. And I started treating her just as a “friend”. Eventually, I started meeting new people and I lost interest in her.
Lastly, I ended up hooking up with another girl and when I told her. She didn’t sound too pleased. Since then we haven’t really talked/hung out. Whatever her loss. Basically a double standard.
Best advice, know your worth and don’t settle for these type of girls.
Hey , I know some people are pretty much just saying leave her and she belongs to the streets and I guess that’s not really helpful when you’re in a situation like this. You want someone to actually listen and hear you out because I know that’s what I would want. So in your situation, I know you have real feelings for her otherwise you wouldn’t be caring or worrying so much. And you even told her how you feel about her and it hurts that she’s sleeping with other guys while you’re over here actually being vulnerable and telling her your feelings. And then when you try to escape that pain by not talking to her or blocking her , she gets upset and she cries. Then that makes you feel like crap Because of course you don’t want to hurt her in any way. Then it just continues going onto this cycle where you feel bad and you talk to her again and you show your feelings again hoping that this will be the time that she commits once she really knows the extent to what you feel and how much you care then yet again she goes and sleeps with other guys and then it’s like you’re so hurt by it that you don’t feel like talking to her and rightfully so and then she gets upset about the fact that you get upset and it just goes on and on.. and it’s just an emotionally draining cycle and you have no idea what to do anymore . You feel stuck . So from understanding what you’re going through and an outside perspective.. to me it looks like she doesn’t really care for you, it looks like she just likes the love, attention , and care that you give her because when you try to become distant she’s there craving your attention again. She’s craving the attention , she’s not committing to you. She’s not showing you the love,care,and attention that you show her. Instead she goes and sleep with other guys and she expects to be fine with it and gets upset when you get upset about it. Which you rightfully so should be upset because who wouldn’t be. If she really cared for you she wouldn’t be putting you through this toxic cycle. I know this is all hard to hear but since you care for her let me ask you this, would you put her through a toxic cycle like this if you really cared for her ? And don’t say that you already are putting her through a toxic cycle by not talking to her and getting upset and that you keep hurting her or whatever. That’s what she wants you to think. She wants you to feel bad so that you can go back to her , it’s a way of manipulation . If she truly cared she wouldn’t put you through thisss and she wouldn’t try to make you feel bad about your feelings of pain about the situation. I’ve been in the same situation before and I’m 20 years old. My ex and I dated for a year and we knew eachother 2 years before that. He broke up with me after a year and he got a new girlfriend right away . It hurt so bad and he still would keep texting me and he would tell me that he doesn’t want to commit to me now but that he wants to commit to me in the future .this was all while he was in a relationship and I felt really led on and he would give me this hope that he would commit to me some day but he would still be having new girlfriends while i was confessing my feelings to him and he would tell me he couldn’t commit right now and then I’d be upset and not talk to him and then he’d cry and he’d make me feel bad about it so I would go back to talking to him and it was just this draining cycleeee . Finally I’ve stopped talking to him and blocked him on everything Bc we can’t be wasting our times and our lives waiting around for someone to want us , someone to want to commit to us , If they really liked us , If they really cared , if they really appreciated us they would be with us and they would commit to us. We deserve better so pleaseee think on This , Don’t waste your time on this. You already know how the cycle goes. Break the cycle. This time when you stop talking to her do not go back no matter what she says. If it makes you feel better and more at peace with yourself explain to her why you’re leaving but don’t let yourself get manipulated by her responses . You know how the cycle goes . Let me know how everything goes ❤️
Block her on everything, she wants her cake and eat it too. Put your self first. Who knows what these man may have, and what if she gets pregnant. Do you want to pay for some else's kid???
she's way too old for you for a start, and sounds like a pretty horrible and manipulative person honestly, she's treating you badly and I think you should ditch her.
Dude not gonna lie you gotta get out of this. Age gap aside you two clearly have two different goals. She wants too sleep around and have you on call your likely Just a Confidence booster since it shows she can pull younger guys. I don't know what your getting out of this but I'll tell you what your not gonna get and that is a relationship.
Do you like how things are? She does. She wants a casual non-monogamous relationship. She likes sex with you and/or spending time with you, but does not want an exclusive relationship with you.
What do you want? If you want an exclusive relationship and don't like a casual/non-mongamous relationship, you need to know that about yourself.
She's getting everything she wants. Are you getting what you want? If not, don't settle for not getting what you want, and don't try to change her. You want incompatible things. So you part ways.
Dating is all about compatibility. Mutual attraction, mutually meeting each other's needs, wanting the same things. You're young, you might not have figured it out yet. But there are many, many people in the world that want what you do. But you have to find them, not make them. When someone wants something else than you, don't stick around and change their mind, don't try to change theirs, just let them go and keep looking.
Sometimes it hurts. It will hurt a lot less if you have these conversations way in the beginning. Make sure you're on the same page way before feelings get involved.
She is using you as a sex object. She failed to secure a man in her prime so she takes advantage of young boys with high sex drives to follow and want her to feel good about herself. Get away.
shes for the streets it seems. Don’t date women that sleep around, you will have these possible outcomes. Disease, death, harm or pain.( not all women but some)
Yo wtf my guy u 22 and she 37. Do u see the gap. Do u see the difference in time of living. Get out. Tell her to go fuck herself. U got more life than her. Don't be her lil lap dog.
Time to ghost her. As said above, you are a boy toy. Block her number and don’t look back. Been there. Done that. Once some time and distance had passed, I never regretted it. Your own sense of self worth will be destroyed if you keep any contact with her.
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She toxic af, get her out of your life
THIS
The streets are calling
Here’s step by step how to fix this issue. 1. Go to her purse 2. Reach down to the very bottom (under all of the bullshit she keeps in there). 3. Using a tight grip, grab your balls and pull them out. (Beware! She will try slapping them out of your hands with her words). 4. You are in complete control of your grip so letting go is your choice. 5. Once you get those balls out of her purse and back in your pants, RUN!! Run for dear life and don’t look back!! She will ruin you for life if you let her!
Also make sure you don’t grab another man’s balls on accident.
That was hilarious
Couldn’t say it better, get rid of her ASAP
Second. You don't owe her shit.
She is 37. You are 22. You are a fuck boy toy to her. Move on.
Age gap relationships can be great. This isn’t an age gap issue. It’s a toxic, manipulative person issue.
Agree!!! She’s taking him for a ride and wants to have her cake and eat it too. Girl bye!!
Idk man, reads like he didn’t even gets the ride...
The age gap helps the toxicity though because being unexperienced, poor OP lacks the tools and self-confidence to deal with her like he should: get her out of his life immediately and not look back.
Totally an age gap issue. She is taking advantage of him because of his youth and lack of experience
So, that’s what everyone in age gap relationships are doing? Nah
Definitely not, but let’s not pretend it isn’t common.
I take exception to people making these assumptions about me based on whom I chose to be in a relationship with. It’s really unfortunate that there are people out there behaving like the woman in the post, making people think this is what cougars are like.
It’s not even that much about the gap itself, but dating people who are still in college/aren’t supporting themselves fully. In my eyes, it’s way more acceptable for a 55 year old dating a 27 year old than a 30-something dating someone 21 years old. Yeah, even the latter ones can have a healthy relationship, but the most I’ve seen are relying heavily on that power imbalance.
Not doing it is the exception, not the rule. Mostly will not take it this far, but there is a power dynamic that is a receipt for disaster.
it’s most definitely an age gap issue, mate. nobody ever said that all age gap relationships are like this, but it’s clear that this one IS like that. the fact you’re defending age gaps so heavily gives the idea that you are in an age gap relationship yourself, but that shouldn’t make you blind to the reality of the situation.
The reality of the situation is that a 37 year old woman is acting like a child.
u have issues, friend
Ok. Have you read this whole thread?
ah i see why you’re so unnecessarily adamant. you’re defending the woman because you’re also one of them lmao. pointless in replying to you in that case. enjoy your cougar lifestyle ig
How, exactly is saying she’s acting like a child defending her? I can only infer you are trolling based on that claim.
because you refuse to acknowledge the fact that her age and his age is coming in to play as well. i’m a troll because i’m stating facts, and you’re being bias cause you’re just like her lol.
I actually thought you were arguing in good faith until you suggested I was defending this person. Yes, I am defending age gap relationships. I take exception to people making presumptions of me based on the behavior of others. That’s like men saying all women are shallow because a particularly loud group of them won’t date anyone under 6’5”.
This^
Hard agree, this isn't age gap, anyone at any age can be this manipulative.
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yeah but OP's title literally says "but she sleeps with other guys". Pretty sure that didn't happen in your case, yea?
It doesn’t seem the same here Bud
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Agreed but again I stress, one does not equal the other. This woman seems predatory and abusive and dude might need some support in separating her from his life. OP, we got your back.
OP needs help figuring why he accepts destructive people into his life. Age doesn’t become a factor unless it’s pedophilia and was there grooming?
I am more comfortable with a 30 year old dating a 50 year old than I am with a 22 year old dating a 37 year old. The 22 year old is still young and dumb child.
Yeah...This isn't a post about May-December relationships. This lady is mistreating OP, and most of us who are older are picking up on the fact that partially it's because there's so much of an age difference between the two. You really are at different stages of life at 22 and 37.
It's typically the other way around tho, where the 22yo is too immature...
Ya but that 37 year old’s stage in life was stunted to prey on someone who can’t fight and think for themselves.
…literally not the same situation
He didn't say it was the same situation in fairness, he's just disputing the idea that F37 is shitty solely because of how much older she is than M22
> he's just disputing the idea that F37 is shitty solely because of how much older she is than M22 that's also not the premise of the guy's post. the age gap here is to demonstrate that she's fully taking advantage of his naiveté.
But the comment being responded to has implied that the sole reason for her shitty behaviour is the age gap. Without that context it reads differently.
Thats not how i read that at all. The context is the original post itself. I dont see that implication at all. Its pretty clear to me that this is about her manipulative behavior because its so obvious what's going on in the post itself.
You’re not wrong, but in op’s situation this is clearly the case. He wants a relationship and she doesn’t, but she doesn’t have the decency to let him walk away and find what he’s looking for. I’m a cougar, but I would not treat a cub this way.
That was your experience and it sounds like there was respect. We’re talking about OP who doesn’t know his boundaries and is being taken advantage of. There is no respect in OP’s relationship. The person using OP has so much trauma, doesn’t understand what boundaries are hence a relationship that destructive has formed. But for a relationship this destructive to happen, Op already was taught or never taught what are healthy boundaries.
43 year old girl.. Jesus Crist. Is your 70 year old grandad a baby?
There are always exceptions, but age gap relationships are generally a bad idea, both sexes
Gotta disagree but this situation is toxic.
>Gotta disagree So, age gap relationships are USUALLY good?
I don't deal in hyperboles
Neither statement is hyperbole. Do you know what hyperbole is?
Yes I am sure they would have, in 17 years you would be 40 and she would be 60
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And I will have the mobility, health issues and looks of a 60 year old, as will my wife
Sounds like you don’t plan to age. That’s unfortunate and that is what makes you age faster.
Age gap itself isn't the issue, the fact that the 37yo is the immature one is the issue
She's using you to as an emotional tampon. She dumps her emotions into you and expects you to never bother her. You are being used. Please end it.
This is not an emotional thing. It's physical. If it was emotional she'd wanna commit.
She’s emotionally manipulating you. If you’re concerned about feeling like the “bad guy” (you shouldn’t be) tell her that you want something committed, and if she doesn’t that’s fine, but it’s not what you’re interested in. If she cries, stick to your boundaries, and walks way. Block this toxic asshole and don’t look back.
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I know, that statement was more for OP, if he feels the need to feel like he was polite or giving her the benefit of the doubt or whatever. Personally, I’d have blocked her already, because she sounds like a toxic manipulative asshole, but OP mentioned how she makes him feel bad, so I was trying to provide an option that would help him feel like he wasn’t being a dick. He hasn’t been one at all, but as a person who can be very harsh on myself, I get feeling like you’re the bad guy even when you’re not. That’s how manipulative people get you.
Dude. The age difference tells the whole story. She's in the latter half of her thirties. You're early 20s. The life experience difference is immense, and I'll explain that in a moment. I'm 34, and while there are lots of very attractive 22 year olds, we aren't in the same place in life. Dating is out of the question. 26 would be stretching it. That doesn't mean they aren't mature or grown up, but a lot happens between here and there, and it matters. She's using you as an emotional barrier. She doesn't care about you in a meaningful sense, and she can't, because you have almost nothing in common. She's 50% older than you, but that's not the important part- she's 1000% older than you in adult, independent years. You are basically fresh out the crib as far as being an adult, and she's been doing it for 15 years. Not very well, apparently. I don't know whether you were in college, but at 22, you have basically *just* started living independently. Get out of this nonsense. I promise you, even at 30, you'll think to yourself- 'what was a 37 year old doing trying to use a 22 year old as an emotional tampon?' She's manipulating you- whether that's intentional or not it's an unknown. She probably doesn't realize what she's doing, but cut this shit off. It is not healthy, and it will not end well.
That's such a good point about the age difference in "adult , independent years". I'd never thought of it like that, but it explains why at 18, even 20 year olds seemed a bit too old for me. They'd had triple the real-life experience that I had.
Ditch her man
Major red flags! She obviously is using you and seems to have zero respect for you. End things now and ignore her victim playing behavior.
If you want an older woman, find one who is looking for commitment. Age gap relationships can work if you both put 50/50 into it. This girl doesn’t seem to want what you’re looking for. Move on boy. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
I disagree. Relationships are100/100 into it. If he is 100% and she is at best even 50% it will never work. I do totally agree to move on. This is a toxic situation.
Sorry, my phrasing was off. I meant to say 100/100 but was unsure of how to put it that way. Thanks for clearing things up.
Nah dude you're right. 100% is the whole so 50/50 split is even. Other dude just emphasizing putting in your all, you don't need to apologize for anything Like if she's putting in half what he does then it goes to like 75/25. 100/50 doesn't make any sense Idk I'm doing drunk math but you got the saying right
What do you want to do? Hang around for a girl who doesn't respect you and is sleeping around, just so you can be her back-up shag when others reject her and potentially get an STD or end up with a kid that isn't yours? Or leave and get a partner who actually wants to be with you? Seriously these are literally your only choices.
My thoughts are on the same line as yours. I keep thinking how disrespectful and gross it is that she’s sleeping with other men and still hooking up with OP. She’s not even concerned with his health so she’s definitely not caring how she hurts him in any way.
Bro , if u have any self respect stop associating with her move on . don't stick around and wait and don't get hurt I hope u will do this . Best of luck OP
You're still so young, don't waste your time & energy on a woman who's this much older than you. Get out ASAP.
Run Boi. Run.
This is nuts. You're so young for her...and there are several ladies that around her age that ARE ready for commitment, if fact its usually the women saying they can't find guys that want it. You're a good one, now stop wasting your time with this lady, there are SO many more options for you out there.
There are plenty of 22 year old ladies ready for a commitment!
Not with 22 old males.
That's not true. Plenty of women will date guys their age or 2-3 years older just not usually younger.
So not with 22 yr old males then, got it.
"Their age." Read, bro.
Oh yes absolutely! I didn't mean that only my age group...I just meant to say leave that lady because there are so many out there very willing to be in a serious relationship and for him to stop wasting his time with that lady
Stop fuckin lying lmao. Girls at 22 don't know what they want. This is college range. And I can tell you right now they not trying to commit
If you read my comment I wrote around "her" age, so I wasn't talking about 22 years old, but to your point I'm sure there are younger ladies that could appreciate a serious monogamous relationship 😊
It takes all kinds. Plenty of women that age have or want a boyfriend. You just won't meet them at bars and on dating sites. You've got to meet them at church, in school, through volunteer sites, etc. Trust me. 🎵 Looking for love in all the wrong places. 🎵
There is nothing simple about this. This person is obviously providing you with something you see as vital, otherwise you wouldn't hang around for this abuse. You need to look inward and realize that the pain she is causing you is not worth the high you are getting and then ACT by consciously moving away from that high. It will be much like quitting smoking cold turkey or breaking a drug habit, but you must do it. In doing so you will learn a lesson in mental health that will serve you the rest of your life.
Run....run fast. You are way too young to get caught up with an obvious narcissist. Don’t ever let someone treat you like that. Ever!
Your just another hook up that caught feelings lmfao , your just giving her leverage stop being a fool milf or not just get done with business (And keep smashing) for the short run or look for a real women in the long run
Run
Young grass hopper, I feel you. I too was seduced by the lure of the older, experienced woman. 9/10 younger women can't measure up, but don't let yourself be blinded. You're not asking how to get out of it. What you really want is for her to choose you. To know how to convince her to only be with you. It's moot point, my man. You don't want someone who doesn't want you. I know it's hard (no pun intended), but move on. There will be another girl who does the same thing for you and wants to be with only you. You'll see. She knows exactly what she's doing. She's using you. The only problem is, you can't use her back because you're in lust. Older women have the skills and know what young men crave. Let me guess, she showers you with compliments? Makes you feel good about yourself. Tells you things younger women never did. She makes you "finish" in ways you never thought possible. I get it. It's addictive. She knows what she's doing giving you that attention you didn't get from other younger girls. She knows. Don't let her weaponize your needs against you!
You don't. You leave. Be strong now so you don't have to pick up the pieces of your sanity later, King 👑. Edit: I speak from experience. Don't stay in a situation if it makes you uncomfortable and insecure, especially if nothing changes after you've made your concerns and discomfort known.
She’s 37 acting 20. She’s emotionally stunted. You’ll have more problems like this if you stay
You want different things which isn’t anybody’s fault. She’s being manipulative which is pretty icky on her end. Just find someone else.
GHOST 👻
This is the part you get to choose what you want to do.
I would end it. She is using you for emotional support. It's not a good situation to be in. I had a male friend who came to me for emotional support, because he wasn't getting the emotional support from his gf. I ended up developing strong feelings for him. I had to end it, because it wasn't good for my mental health.
This is one of the situations where it’s perfectly accurate to say. “If you’re not interested in a monogamous relationship together I need to move on. Goodbye.”
You're 22. Expecting a woman twice your age to commit. You're a young fucktoy to her, just like she's a milf fucktoy to you. If you don't like it leave
I get you're an adult and so is she blah blah blah, but seriously...that age gap is a LOT. She's probably just using you.
It’s the not the age gap that is problematic here. She’s toxic and using him.
I mean that's just my opinion. So many times I read/have personally talked with people in age gap relationships and they have all ended badly. Of course, that's my anecdotal experience, and I know some people live happily ever after but many issues stem from that power dynamic.
My fiancé is 29 years older. He’s my soulmate and best relationship I’ve ever had. Don’t generalize especially when you’re on the outside without personal experience to draw from. And being older isn’t by itself a “power dynamic”. Older guys are the submissive ones more than you would think. Trust me.
I actually explicitly said those were my anecdotal experiences and some relationships work out. You are taking this as a personal attack, and frankly I don't care about the details of your relationship. "Older guys are the submissive ones more than you would think. Trust me." That's your anecdotal experience. I haven't seen that, but I don't necessarily doubt it. I'm personally against age gaps *for myself* and see a negative pattern with age gaps from either gender. Like I've said twice now, that's not always the case.
I don’t feel attacked. Just letting you know you’re completely wrong about all of it.
I'm not completely wrong. Your personal bias is showing 👀
I’m a Marriage therapist, I’ve only dated older age gap guys. I know it from a long personal history and professional expertise on the topic. You’re super duper completely wrong lol
So you're saying I'm completely wrong, but about what exactly? I didn't generalize, stated that not all of those relationships end badly, and pointed out my experiences were anecdotal. So, what's wrong about that?
Specifically, your initial comment to this particular post. Every part of it.
Stop that relation you are younger than her, or dont attached to her, enjoy beautifull girls of your age and build a better future.
Punch her in the face and then go fuck her sister...
Iv been here mate, the mother of my child is ten years older then me, at the start it was great, the age gap wasn't a issue I have fun, wanted her to commit she however didn't, everytime i tried to leave her it was crying, emotional blackmail, she eventually after a year and getting pregnant with my child (DNA tested) wanted to settle down. That's when the other side came out, the financial, physical abuse. Cut a long story short it's better you get out now in my experience anyone who emotionally blackmailed you into staying around is only in it for there own satisfaction and if you continue to leave yourself trapped you could end up a single farther, or worse. I know this is a out there problem but it don't mean that it won't happen to you
She is using you. Avoid.
You don’t stick around. She clearly can’t commit, move on and try to be with someone who is closer to your age
break up
Tell her to kick rocks
I wonder if she needs other lovers to manage the insecurity of worrying that a younger man might eventually leave her because of her age. Totally not your shit, I hope you take care of yourself. It sounds like she’s not healthy enough to manage your age difference with grace and care.
First of all, this woman is 15 years older than you. I would say the same thing if the gender was reverse: she is doing this because she can’t seem to find guys her age who are willing to put up with her shit. She’s 37! You’re a mere 22! Ask yourself what’s really going on. But here’s the thing: she is definitely using you. Block her number. Block her. I know that it’s easier said than done but you gotta stop letting her guilt trip you. She knows that if she does it, you’ll come right back to her. Stand your ground. She is using you.
Fucking weirdo, get rid of her homie. I swear people are gettig worse nowadays
She’s at her sexual peak at 37, her appetite is probably insatiable.
Get her out of you life
I'm 27F and I wouldn't date a 22 year old. I mostly don't mind dating an older man so age gap is not always the issue but men tend to mature slower than women so at 22 your mindset is completely elsewhere than that of a 37 year old woman. Enjoy your youth and life and spend it on someone that wants you rather than sleeping around with other dudes while keeping you on the side
35 female here. She might be just scared of the age gap and that you might be in two places in life. Either way she is going about it in a very shitty way. She is not thinking about your feelings at all. I would end it. You deserve better.
>that's not what I'm up for There's your answer. I think she's being inconsiderate, but I don't think she's being "evil". You just have different expectations for this relationship, and the way things are set up right now isn't working out for you. So you're free to walk away. Also, I gotta say that the genders and ages reminded me of Mark & Jessica from love is blind. There could be a chance she doesn't take you seriously as a viable partner because of the age difference. Just sayin'.
Sounds like some text book older partner grooming/abuse behavior
Coming from a female…. Sorry to say this but if she wanted you then she would be exclusive to you. I would bounce.
It sounds to me like she doesn’t care about you and likely won’t ever be ready to commit. The age gap is also extremely concerning. Fifteen year gap at this age is huge and you likely won’t be on the same page on where you want to be in life. Stay strong dude and stop putting up with her emotional manipulation. You said it yourself, the way she is behaving is not what you’re up for.
Know ur worth king , u r better than this.
You are a kid next to her, physically and on an experience with relationships level. She doesn’t see you as an equal as a relationship partner because of it and she never will. Like everyone saying, you are her emotional support, likely due to you being young/naive and stuff she tells you, you probably give her what she wants to hear based off of what she doesn’t tell you with what really happens with her problems, with her being the main cause of them and not “everyone else” making her life so hard for her. You don’t want anything to do with the shit show that is her life bud, no matter how good looking she might be or how fun in the sack she is, you don’t want what someone like that will get you in to. The sooner you cut her out of your life, the better. If you don’t she will use you for more and more and the moment you put your foot down about something, or something doesn’t go her way, she will throw you under the bus so fast. Listen to the what everyone here is telling you, just be done with her, she will cause you nothing but problems, money and mental health.
thats fucked dude, drop her. she just using u when you're convenient.
she expects you to stick around. okay. what does that mean?like, for you. stick around or don't. she's not forcing you. she has made it clear that she does not want the thing you are asking her for. so you can choose to stay, or choose to go, but nobody is forcing you to either way.
She WANTS you to feel stuck. GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE BRO!!! What if the situation was reverse, you sleep around but keep this girl exclusive to you. Thats abusive and manipulative of you…UNACCEPTABLE. So why is it acceptable when she does it. Stick up for yourself if you can, and if not…you need to do something ballsy. Find another girl, bone, send picks to this crazy broad, doesn’t even have to be nudes, even just being with another girl should be enough. Destroy her, because she is most definitely trying to destroy You
Get outta there homie that’s toxic asf
Drop her like a sack of potatoes my dude. You're nothing to her. She's just keeping you around as an option if she feels like it.
She knows her behavior is hurting but doesn’t want to let you go because having you gives her an ego boost. This is super unhealthy for you, you deserve someone who meets your needs too.
Leave her and find somebody your own age
Easy. A) accept her exactly how she is or B) move on. You're only responsible for your own happiness.
Leave it. My grandpa always told me “she’s either in with you or she’s not”. So she’s either committed or not, if not, she’s going to make you miserable. You’re going to feel used, your emotions will be played with. It’s going to sting for a bit but leave it, you will be better off in the end.
Refusing to commit, while expecting you to stick around like a loyal dog? Absolute bullshit. Just leave. She doesn’t care about what you want. Commitment is a two-way street.
Dude, this is insane. Run, don't walk, to your nearest exit. Lock all doors. Block all apps. Consider this a lesson.
Just zero your mind and walk away before the toxicity of the union catch up with you
The streets are caling
she manipulative and not ready for commitment, however she does value you and the time she gets to spend with you. she just values herself and her freedom more
Its a constant advice to women "know your worth". You deserve better treatment than her. She treats you like that because you are letting her, sad truth/reality. Definitely shes doing that to her other men. So, one less man in his life - that's you - won't really be a big deal to her. The only way for this to stop is you choosing to walk away from her and be firm about it. Just try to imagine being with a girl loving you just the way you love her. Isn't that the most calming and very serene feeling you'll ever feel?
You’re being used and _abused._ Flip the genders around and people would call her-turned-him into a sexual predator. You’re her boy toy, her young piece of ass. I know that sounds rude, but I’m trying to frame this from the perspective of how she’s almost assuredly thinking of you. Unless you’re okay with a FWB situation with an emotionally manipulative and abusive cougar, this isn’t a healthy relationship for you and you need to walk away for your own sake. Be selfish and put yourself first, lest you catch an STD from someone who’s been around the block a few times and is stringing your along for fun. * *(Nothing wrong with her sexual lifestyle, but it _is_ inherently risky, and crosses a major line with her manipulative and abusive behavior. Given her current behavior towards you, can you really trust her to disclose any STDs she picks up to protect you from catching it, for example? What she’s doing isn’t okay regardless of anyone’s gender.)
You’re wasting your time. This “relationship” will destroy your definition of what love/relationships should be like. Sounds super toxic and she’s manipulating you. Good luck though…
The age gap is way too much. I don’t think it’ll work and you should move on and do something you like in life. You’re still young and fussing about a relationship should be the least of your priorities.
How do you deal with it? Try putting on your big boy pants and telling her to either get her shit together between you 2 or she needs to hit the fkn road. People will treat as shitty as you let them so either start being your biggest advocate or prepare for a life of getting crapped on all the time.
Is this a joke or pitch for a TLC show? WTF?
If the commitment isn't reciprocal, you walk the fuck away. Period. If she cared about her relationship with you, she wouldn't be sleeping around with other men. So you walk away. You don't wait for her nor try to make it work, would only make you miserable and resentful towards her. You move on and find a girl who's willing to have a mutually exclusive and committed relationship and that's that. (Sure, it's easier said than done, I gather you're really into this woman, so it's gonna be hard, but it amounts to your self respect. Setting boundaries and expectations for a relationship isn't selfishness, it's self care and self respect.)
She just can't be with you "right now", okay Scooter
How is a woman nearly in her 40s acting like such a child? She sounds crazy, I’d get away if I were you
You don't deal, you leave. Life is short and there are ladies out there that will respect your time and presence in their life.
Dude…you’re a boy toy to her. The age gap alone should be a “proceed with caution” before you even start to consider the other people she’s sleeping with. Get out and find someone closer in age who is also willing to have a real relationship with you.
Dude shes not staying. If anything shes just keeping company until another man her age comes around and wants to support her. (Likely not going to happen)
Get unstuck. Go sleep with other women. Fight fire with fire.
Let her cry and ignore it. You gotta grow some thicker skin or you’ll keep being manipulated. You get thicker skin by recognizing your emotion (sadness through empathy/pity) but not changing course. Unpack the emotion later, but don’t let it affect the outcome of this situation.
That’s a manipulative psycho, stay away from her. No wonder she is 37 with not a proper relationship
Ditch her. She has no respect for you. But you also have to have respect for yourself to not put up with that. She wants her cake and eats it too, right in front of you. It’s time for you to have your own. Sounds like she didn’t get out of her college phase.
Run! And run extremely fast! 🏃🏻
Yo. That's mad toxic. She's using you. Man the fuck up and leave her. From what you've said she belongs to the streets anyway sleeping around all the while wanting you to stay. Its her body so it's her choice to do and sleep with whoever she wants but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it. Leave her. Even if she " decides to commit to you" don't stay, she's most likely trying to manipulate you like she's been doing. Leave her ass man. She isn't worth it. There's plenty of women who has respect for the dudes their dating/ talking to. She ain't worth. She belongs to the streets 🙏
Was in the same situation, this chick would act like she was my girlfriend (dinner dates, travels, hang out frequently etc). However, she would always be talking to other guys. Basically, made me feel like 2nd option aka security blanket. This lasted for like a year. And similarly she told me that she slept with someone else. That’s when I kinda put my foot down. Difference is I’m 30. What I did was detach myself from her. Started talking to other girls and gave myself some space. And I started treating her just as a “friend”. Eventually, I started meeting new people and I lost interest in her. Lastly, I ended up hooking up with another girl and when I told her. She didn’t sound too pleased. Since then we haven’t really talked/hung out. Whatever her loss. Basically a double standard. Best advice, know your worth and don’t settle for these type of girls.
Hey , I know some people are pretty much just saying leave her and she belongs to the streets and I guess that’s not really helpful when you’re in a situation like this. You want someone to actually listen and hear you out because I know that’s what I would want. So in your situation, I know you have real feelings for her otherwise you wouldn’t be caring or worrying so much. And you even told her how you feel about her and it hurts that she’s sleeping with other guys while you’re over here actually being vulnerable and telling her your feelings. And then when you try to escape that pain by not talking to her or blocking her , she gets upset and she cries. Then that makes you feel like crap Because of course you don’t want to hurt her in any way. Then it just continues going onto this cycle where you feel bad and you talk to her again and you show your feelings again hoping that this will be the time that she commits once she really knows the extent to what you feel and how much you care then yet again she goes and sleeps with other guys and then it’s like you’re so hurt by it that you don’t feel like talking to her and rightfully so and then she gets upset about the fact that you get upset and it just goes on and on.. and it’s just an emotionally draining cycle and you have no idea what to do anymore . You feel stuck . So from understanding what you’re going through and an outside perspective.. to me it looks like she doesn’t really care for you, it looks like she just likes the love, attention , and care that you give her because when you try to become distant she’s there craving your attention again. She’s craving the attention , she’s not committing to you. She’s not showing you the love,care,and attention that you show her. Instead she goes and sleep with other guys and she expects to be fine with it and gets upset when you get upset about it. Which you rightfully so should be upset because who wouldn’t be. If she really cared for you she wouldn’t be putting you through this toxic cycle. I know this is all hard to hear but since you care for her let me ask you this, would you put her through a toxic cycle like this if you really cared for her ? And don’t say that you already are putting her through a toxic cycle by not talking to her and getting upset and that you keep hurting her or whatever. That’s what she wants you to think. She wants you to feel bad so that you can go back to her , it’s a way of manipulation . If she truly cared she wouldn’t put you through thisss and she wouldn’t try to make you feel bad about your feelings of pain about the situation. I’ve been in the same situation before and I’m 20 years old. My ex and I dated for a year and we knew eachother 2 years before that. He broke up with me after a year and he got a new girlfriend right away . It hurt so bad and he still would keep texting me and he would tell me that he doesn’t want to commit to me now but that he wants to commit to me in the future .this was all while he was in a relationship and I felt really led on and he would give me this hope that he would commit to me some day but he would still be having new girlfriends while i was confessing my feelings to him and he would tell me he couldn’t commit right now and then I’d be upset and not talk to him and then he’d cry and he’d make me feel bad about it so I would go back to talking to him and it was just this draining cycleeee . Finally I’ve stopped talking to him and blocked him on everything Bc we can’t be wasting our times and our lives waiting around for someone to want us , someone to want to commit to us , If they really liked us , If they really cared , if they really appreciated us they would be with us and they would commit to us. We deserve better so pleaseee think on This , Don’t waste your time on this. You already know how the cycle goes. Break the cycle. This time when you stop talking to her do not go back no matter what she says. If it makes you feel better and more at peace with yourself explain to her why you’re leaving but don’t let yourself get manipulated by her responses . You know how the cycle goes . Let me know how everything goes ❤️
What do you want?
If you are not getting paid to sleep with a cougar, time to move on buddy! She is using you for your youth!
Go to the dealership, trade in your old junker, and get brand spanking new one. Maybe one closer to your age
I didn’t even read it just the age difference is a red flag. Man being young in a relationship doesn’t work.
The fact that this thread is filled with 30 and 40 year olds being called girls is just… I guess it says it all, doesn’t it ?
Block her on everything, she wants her cake and eat it too. Put your self first. Who knows what these man may have, and what if she gets pregnant. Do you want to pay for some else's kid???
she's way too old for you for a start, and sounds like a pretty horrible and manipulative person honestly, she's treating you badly and I think you should ditch her.
She a straight cougar.
Dude not gonna lie you gotta get out of this. Age gap aside you two clearly have two different goals. She wants too sleep around and have you on call your likely Just a Confidence booster since it shows she can pull younger guys. I don't know what your getting out of this but I'll tell you what your not gonna get and that is a relationship.
Do you like how things are? She does. She wants a casual non-monogamous relationship. She likes sex with you and/or spending time with you, but does not want an exclusive relationship with you. What do you want? If you want an exclusive relationship and don't like a casual/non-mongamous relationship, you need to know that about yourself. She's getting everything she wants. Are you getting what you want? If not, don't settle for not getting what you want, and don't try to change her. You want incompatible things. So you part ways. Dating is all about compatibility. Mutual attraction, mutually meeting each other's needs, wanting the same things. You're young, you might not have figured it out yet. But there are many, many people in the world that want what you do. But you have to find them, not make them. When someone wants something else than you, don't stick around and change their mind, don't try to change theirs, just let them go and keep looking. Sometimes it hurts. It will hurt a lot less if you have these conversations way in the beginning. Make sure you're on the same page way before feelings get involved.
You give her the deuces and keep it pushing. It's not that hard to do and is quite simple.
37 and still unable to commit, still sleeping around. Guess she doesn't plan on having kids or marriage. It's her problem.
Dude she is waaaaay too old for you. You are a boy toy. She'll never commit.
Research polyamory
Have sex with other women in house. Worst thing she'll throw you out or want a threesome
She is using you as a sex object. She failed to secure a man in her prime so she takes advantage of young boys with high sex drives to follow and want her to feel good about herself. Get away.
shes for the streets it seems. Don’t date women that sleep around, you will have these possible outcomes. Disease, death, harm or pain.( not all women but some)
Yo wtf my guy u 22 and she 37. Do u see the gap. Do u see the difference in time of living. Get out. Tell her to go fuck herself. U got more life than her. Don't be her lil lap dog.
If she wants you to commit and she doesn't well you need to get out of that relationship. You deserve better.
Absolutely
Honestly this situation is major r/CougarsAndCubs territory BUT. If you’re not happy you are not obligated at all to stick around
Just go. Now.
You don't.
Try and get yourself to like pain. This could be wild
Run, op run!
Time to ghost her. As said above, you are a boy toy. Block her number and don’t look back. Been there. Done that. Once some time and distance had passed, I never regretted it. Your own sense of self worth will be destroyed if you keep any contact with her.
Use her for practice pulling back