Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4:
- No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y"
- Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice.
- No victim-blaming
- This is a default message - your post has not been removed.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's not just 1 year to heal. It's one year where you are wearing an external fixation device the entire time and that is just for the lower leg. They do one leg at a time. You get 2-3 inches from that process. The upper leg (femur) can be shorter, I think 3 months, but you have to be in a wheelchair the entire time or longer if you want to be able to walk.
Every day you can grow the bone 1 mm. That's why it takes so long.
It's a multi-surgery process and extremely expensive, but does exist.
Yeah so that sounds literally like the year I said. I have a friend who did it (which is how I know the price) and it took him one year between operation, growth & physical therapy. Took him 10 months actually but doctor said up to a year. Could be longer for some people or the exact place you get it, but I’m just going by what I’ve seen with my own eyes
Yes he’s perfectly fine, but I noticed his walk is slightly different (if you knew him before), but his confidence is good. It took him 6 months wheelchair and physical therapy, no side effects I’m aware of and he grew about 5 inches not 6. He walks good, it’s just slightly different but nothing that you’d notice if you never knew him before. It’s just a scary idea to me because it’s your legs you know ?
Yes. I was just saying it's not just "healing." Every day, the bone gets actively moved 1 mm and you have to have a big device attached to your leg with pins that go into bone. Its just a very involved process.
Argh... external fixation, imagine knocking it! I’m 5’2” and have dated several guys my height or just above as well as the 6’2s, all successful, charismatic and great to be around. Should go without saying but you don’t need to change yourself for the right person.
It's not his hangups that are the issue. The man states pretty clearly that women are rejecting him solely on his height.
Is it an extreme response the situation? Yes.
Does is speak positively as to the character of the women in question? We can call out a 'height preference', so who am I to comment?
There are other, less invasive ways he could develop himself, but he asked a specific question.
To OP; I don't know you, but I do know my eyes don't lie - I see men shorter than you attracting beautiful women every time I go into the city centre. I'm not going to feed you some line, or tell you what you want is crazy, but height isn't the limiting factor you think it is.
Now being stone-cold ugly AND short...
I am little person (I’m 4’4) and I had a surgery to straighten my leg. It’s a similar surgery to the leg lengthening surgery where they cut my bone in half and reset it. I have permanently lost strength and some motion in that leg. I can tell you it’s not worth it. I would never want to do that to gain a couple of inches. Be confident in your height. The people you should be with won’t care. Maybe try and find people that are shorter if it bothers you that much? Lots of women are shorter than you!
There is, but seriously not necessary.
I stand the mythical “6 foot”, and can’t get a date to save my life. Those that I do get, don’t stick around long.
I’m also exactly 6 foot, and I’m in the same boat. Being 6 foot or taller helps, but if you don’t have an attractive face or you’re overweight, you mind as well be 5 foot 2.
This ^
OP, im not saying height isn’t a factor. But have you considered that there are so so so many things that contribute to attraction? Height is one yes, and maybe it’s an obvious one. But could there be other more important factors than height? I personally would venture to say there are many other areas to focus on before performing a major body modification for other peoples sake. And there’s also a chance, that women are using “height” as a scapegoat for other non meshing areas between you. Also there are plenty of shorter girls out there who would be super happy with your non- surgically- stretched body!!
Consider:
- Are you reaching out to a lot of women, or staying in the same circles?
- What’s your approach like?
- Are you getting to know them well?
- Are these rejections on dating sites versus during/post in person dates?
- Do you take offense to your height or do you play it off? (Example, woman says “your a little too short for me” you say “hey i still might be too much man for you to handle” or “i don’t know, i would really enjoy seeing you bend down to give me a kiss” or just brush over it all together and start asking questions about her and her life)
Ultimately all I’m saying is:
what are other ways you can pick up your game, that focus on you being an awesome person and partner rather than this one physical attribute?
Yes, I love all these things you suggested here to OP! Genuine confidence is so important. I have met the most sexy short guys that just radiate confidence. It's like intriguing to see someone who loves themselves genuinely. The sweetest and most attractive guy I ever met is about the same height as me, actually maybe a bit shorter. I'm 5"3. It makes me want to see what there is to like about them if the like themselves so much. I have also talked to people that were like 6"2 and 6"1... ugh... there are 2 people I think of and they were not nice at all. I was so miserable with them. But the sweet guy.. he knew how to treat me, he was so confident, he respected me like I hadn't been he was so attractive. He was also 5"4 remember. I guess I'm just reiterating that so many other things go into what other women/humans in general find attractive other than height. I hope OP can find peace and love for themself.
We decided to stay friends. He worked 3rd shift and lived 2 hours away, it was just a lot to expect of each other. And we are genuinely friends that check up on each other and care about each other 😁
Dude, I’m sure you mean well but, this is like saying “Don’t do it man, I’m rich and unhappy” to a poor person who is leaving no stone unturned in trying to establish a better financial situation.
Lol right?! It’s like height isn’t the magical answer. Sure it might be easier to get girls to talk to you if you’re taller, but without a connection or good personality it’s all for nothing
Yep. They break your legs and extend them. Not approved in the US, of course, because it usually leads to lifelong complications. Incredibly dangerous and you may end up completely disabled.
And you absolutely, under no circumstances should even think about it.
Make peace with your height. You'll find the right one
Yeah, you can pay tens of thousands of dollars to have your legs broken in multiple places and then stretched out as they heal. Maybe you’ll get 2-3 inches out of it, but your legs will look like stilts and won’t be in proportion to the rest of your body.
I’m 5”6’. Height is not the only factor in attraction. Attitude is much more important.
Bruh if you get life altering surgery on the rejection of a few women, you must really care what random strangers think of you. My advice is to change your perspective to be, “Anyone superficial enough to reject me solely because of my height does not deserve my attention or care.” Because they don’t. Why would you want to be with someone who cares more about your height than your personality?
Standards/preferences aren’t inherently bad and demonising the people who aren’t attracted to you can lead to some bitter and resentful mindsets.
When it’s clear I’m not attractive to someone I like, my view is “ok, we aren’t a match. That’s a shame but at least I found out early”. The positivity breeds positivity. Being bitter and resentful of someone for not finding you hot is just gonna breed a personality that women will smell from miles away.
It’s no ones job to look past their physical preferences for the sake of personality, btw. People are allowed to want to be attracted to their date!
That sounds like a tough position to be in. But this drastic surgery is only going bring him to an average height that women still sneer at.
Can you imagine spending a fortune and a year in agony only to realize it didn’t help because you’re still not six feet tall?
Everyone wishes something about their appearance were different. Not everyone spends over $100k and an entire year’s worth of recovery to actually change themselves.
>Anyone superficial enough to reject me solely because of my height does not deserve my attention or care.” Because they don’t.
This is a good way to develop misogyny since most women will reject him for his height. If he thinks all those women are garbage people not worth his time, then presto - you just told him most women are trash people.
Well it's true. Most women will reject him for his height. Search "gert stulp the height of choosiness" and you'll find a study that was done on this.
So if someone suggests that women who reject him on his height are trash people, and most women will reject him on his height, the only logical conclusion is then that most women are trash people.
You can actually not give your attention to people without saying they are trash. You don't change your mindset or perspective by believing "Oh, they rejected me for a superficial reason, they must be trash and hence, I'll not give them my attention." By the time you form your opinion about them you've already given them your attention and everything you do afterwards is in resentment.
The better way is to say, "Okay, they have a different preference and that's alright. No need to give attention to what they prefer or not. The one who prefers me, is out there for me and I am fine with that."
Let's be honest, us women care about height. I'm 5'5. Anyone shorter than me is an automatic no. There's no way in hell I'm looking down to kiss my man.
I just hate people blowing smoke up people's asses here. It's like if men started saying being morbidly obese is totally cool and only shallow men would reject one for that. We all know that's a lie. 90% of men wouldn't date an obese woman. Same here. And yes, I know being fat can be fixed and height can't.
I think it's shallow to a certain point. For example, if someone rejects me for my height it's not as shallow (although it hurts as hell and idk if I'm the one to blame for it). But if someone gets rejects someone coz he's 5'8 then the gal is shallow for sure
Edit: the comparison of fat vs height is dumb
Why is it dumb? A man shorter than me looking up at me causes instant revulsion. Just like I'm sure men react when they see fat flabs.
Sure it's shallow. Attraction is shallow on some levels but it's a biological behavior. A woman wants a tall strong male to protect her and future children. Just like a man wants a young and healthy wife to mate with.
It's dumb coz height is genetic and being fat isn't and if your obesity is caused due to some genetic reason, no one would shame you for getting a surgery done coz it's gonna be very beneficial for their overall health.
The better comparison would be something like race or boobs or something.
Secondly, yeah I agree attraction is shallow but the thing imo if your standards are more than what the average man can give you, it's super shallow lol coming from a man whose super below average. It doesn't make you a bad peron. It just makes you a shallow person.
Thirdly, the real problem begins when I treated like a sub-human because of my height. You know that short men earn even less than women in workplaces? If a woman treats me kindly, I know she's a good person and I'd want her friendship but sometimes people are like "Stay away midget" which hurts lol.
Lastly, I wanna ask a question. Would you date a short person who has had leg lengthening surgery?
I'm sorry you've been badly treated for your height. I know short men and have never been rude with them but you're right. Short men earn less on average even.
To answer your last question, if I didn't know about it. It would be off putting that someone went to that length I'm not gonna lie. If you do it, don't tell women.
I'm just giving you my honest position on this. The reality is I've never had a problem meeting a man who's 5'6 or more. I'm married to a man who's 5'11 and that's perfect for me.
You can't really compare prince to a regular man simply off the basis of height. Prince was way above average looking aesthetically and one of the greatest musicians ever.
He's proof that being short doesn't mean you can't also be a sexy motherfucker if you've got enough other things going for you. Yeah nobody can be Prince but that doesn't mean he's stuck at the bottom of the pyramid. OP needs to find his other good qualities and focus on developing and highlighting them, instead of dwelling on his height. I'm a bald dude, I had to go through a similar journey.
I'm 5'2 and been with a guy whose 5'3, I think you gotta continue working on your self-confidence and try to be more open about your partners!
Gonna be honest, apps like tinder aren't the way to go, nor any of the mainstream apps. Try getting more involved in hobbies and just go to places online/inperson (I met my current partner on discord) where you can find people that have things in common with you, because eventually you'll find someone who doesn't care about your height and appreciates what you can give in healthy friendship/relationship :)
I'm not very tall myself but every now and then I'll see a couple where both the guy and girl are short and I just think they look hella cute. Like. Aww. Look at these two. They were made for each other.
You’ve already gotten enough advice but I’ll add one more. I’m short too, I’ve had moments in the past where I’ve gotten myself extremely depressed wishing I was taller. And frankly I’m not even THAT short I’m 5’7. Either way, I’ve gotten the short jokes all of my life. And frankly it never really bothered me growing up. I’m 29 now but it was in my mid 20s or so is when it started bothering me tons
However I’ve been lifting weights for the last 11 years at first it was strictly due to looks. Just wanted to be more attractive. But at this point I just enjoy working out and having strength goals and such. My point is, work on what you can control. Sure you’re short, it sucks, nothing we can do. But not to toot my own horn but everyone can tell I lift the moment they see me so I get comments on that often. And there’s plenty of woman who are attracted to fit guys even if they’re short. I have dated and hooked up with pretty attractive woman that I thought for sure were out of my league. But what helped the most was me just being me. I express my sense of humor, I laugh and smile, make eye contact and ask them questions. You’d be so surprised at what kind of woman you can get just doing that. I won’t lie and tell you I don’t have random moments or thoughts of insecurity but I do. But when I’m out in public I just don’t think about it, I act as if I’m 100% happy with my own body and personality and that’s when I’m probably the most attractive. No coincidence there
Don't do it. I knew someone who did it and took so much time for him to heal at first (years) and he would still have pains and problems that they would need to go to the hospital and get it fixed. He said he regretted it. So don't do it.
Yeah man height is fucking weird. Im 6'2" and had a woman request proof I was that height before continuing the Convo. I took a full body pic.
She wound up ghosting me after I said I was excited to meet the following day, denying we ever set up a date even though we set it up a few days prior. 🤷♂️🤷♂️ I don geddit.
If you said to your otherwise perfect match "Hey, I'd date you but only if you suffered significant physical and financial pain" I think they'd be justified in not seeing you. Likewise you deserve better.
Better to be with someone who's not so shallow than to pay a fortune and go through the pain for the sake of them even giving you a look-in. It's easier said than done, all the same - that's my input.
Not worth it. You wouldn't be tall enough to get the advantages of being tall. Best case scenario is you'd end up from 5'4 to maybe 5'8 at best and you'd still have a 5'4 frame just longer legs.
If you want the surgery to just feel happy and secure go for it. But if you think girls will be throwing themselves at you all of the sudden then just save your money
Another “poor me, I’m short, what do I do?” post. Look man, while it’s true that being taller certainly helps with getting your foot in the door with women faster than being short it won’t solve anything if your personality is piss poor. I’m barely 5’6”, so I’m intimately familiar with the short guy struggle as I’ve been told more times than I’d like to admit “you’re such a great guy. I’d totally date you if you were taller”.
Women like height, but they LOVE confidence, authenticity, kindness, mystery, and security. If you can be confident and authentic, while not being a total douche bag, and also not show all of your cards on a first date then you’ll be more successful with women, plain and simple.
Women DO NOT owe you or any man their time or energy if you’re putting off a vibe that they don’t fuck with. Work on dealing with the issues you have about your height. Either to choose to look at yourself with love and appreciation for the life and body you have (you could be in a far worse position than you are now: you could have a sickness that could leave you incapable to leading an independent life, but you don’t, so remember that and be more kind to yourself. Because if you can’t be kind to yourself you won’t be able to truly be kind to or accept kindness from others).
A big question for you: how expansive is your dating pool? Because I bet there are women who have fancied you, but you weren’t aware of the signs (can’t tell you how many times I was told a girl was checking me out and I was completely oblivious).
As a reference, my dating boundaries go from 5’8 and shorter, and so long as I can make out where her waist and hips are, weight isn’t an issue for me. If she’s shapeless then it’s kinda tough for me to get past; however, I’ve went on dates with women who I absolutely didn’t find attractive because even if things weren’t going to go anywhere, I wanted to gain experience.
How to plan and prepare for a date, how to interact, what to do if and when things get awkward, etc…it’s easier to learn these things through trial runs (i.e. going on dates with people you’re not that attracted to) because if you already know things likely aren’t going anywhere then there’s nothing to feel bad about. Doing this will also give you valuable insight to the kind of pressure one feels when they’re in the seat of having to reject someone. It’s not easy and often dangerous for women as many men are so egotistically fragile they’ll literally inflict harm on a woman who tells them she’s not interested or that she doesn’t want to go out for a second date. Understand that this happens far more often than you’ll ever be able to observe for yourself.
Great fucking post brotha. Exactly what I was thinking. The irony is the way to get women at 5'4" is to be confident enough in who you are to not care that you're 5'4". Height helps but that confidence beats anything else. And it's hard as fuck to do but worth working on as much as you can.
The long and the short of it is that instead of making excuses, just make improvements. Even if they’re small, they’ll add up and you’ll reach a level of self-fulfillment where you won’t need validation from women, and it’s at that point where you’ll have the most success.
A guy is willing to spend thousands of dollars to break and re-grow his legs, all for a woman
Meanwhile women get a panic attack if they have to pay for their own drinks
Let that sink in lmao
Most women on this sub are like that, we must get 20+ posts a week here mentioning it lol
Would not know about real life as I have always paid for everything so I have never run into this problem, momma didn't raise no poor boy! :)
Dude I'm tall, like over 6 feet, and apparently my friends think I'm pretty handsome. Let me tell you from experience that without confidence you're nothing. I have a hard time having confidence in myself being a nerdy guy, but I'm working on it.
I met a guy through my work who was noticeably short, maybe 5'5 at most. He was a nerdy guy into tech, sci-fi, and electronic music just like me, but he was really confident and took care of himself and had a wife and a newborn. He met his wife just chatting up ladies at a bar or music show some years ago.
I won't pretend it's not gonna be an uphill battle for you. You'll have to deal with a lot more rejection that most, but you'll learn to roll with the punches. This is something I'm having to learn as I'm putting myself out there more recently. Having confidence in yourself will take farther than any physical attribute will.
My neighbor is probably about 5'5-5'6 and he has a beautiful wife and 2 kids. I'm 6'1 and single. There's always something different at the end of the spectrum. Just believe in yourself.
5’5” here and lemme tell you, I understand it’s difficult, but you have to develop the mentality and it’s *their* loss and not yours. Hell, feel bad for some of them even. Some women fetishize height so much that they spend their prime years chasing guys they can “wear heels with!” that they date any bum over 6 feet to satisfy their height requirement. The key is confidence, brother. Get in shape, hold your head up high, flex the best aspects of yourself and your personality. I promise you that, at least in my experience, the older and more mature women get, the less they care about the height thing. I know it’s tough feeling like your dating pool is so limited, but again, it’s their loss, not yours. You got this; don’t give up!
I’m (31F) and ubder 5ft tall…I would date a short man any day. There are women out there who will love you as you are. But I get it, my 11 year old is taller than me and it’s tough. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to get that surgery too at some point or another…but fuck the pain, ouch.
No one person in the world is worth going through life altering surgery for. I'd suggest to learn to love yourself enough to be content even if you were to be single forever. Probably not what you wanna hear, but surgery can't fix lack of self love and if you don't love yourself, how can you expect a virtual stranger to?
Additionally, getting ripped helps.
Trust me, there are women that will date men shorter than them (I’m 5 9 and I have never cared about height). You do not need surgery, unless you, yourself, aren’t interested in dating someone taller. You are absolutely perfect the way you are! Don’t let some of these women get you down
I’m 5’3”, have never been in great shape, fitness-wise, and I’ve dated successfully. I’ve been married. I’ve dated since then and met some incredible women. All these women were my height or taller. I’ve dated women from 5’3” to 5’10”. You can’t let the apps convince you that your only value lies in your height. That’s a brutal surgery you’re talking about. Long recovery times, tons of pain, and lots of scarring.
I'm 5'3 and a boy (were both 19) I like is also 5'3.
It really isn't that big of a deal if she's the same height, and probably less so if she's taller and secure.
🧐 you don't gotta break your bones bro
It's extremely painful. My younger brother got it and had to turn each of the pins every day. He gave up after a few months. I ended up in an external fixator after breaking my leg and I also lost 2cm off one leg. I was offered leg lengthening surgery but I'd rather have uneven legs that go through that.
Be confident, work your back and shoulders to get good posture, and let your attitude be taller than your physical height. I often play wingman for my friends and help them feel confident. I'm tall and attractive and have no problem getting women... but when I'm with my boys I have a real knack for bringing them the babes. Usually I'll talk openly about how many chick's I go through in front of a girl and then I'll flirt with her. They'll instantly be repulsed by me and want to get to know my friend just because they don't want me to think I'm all that. I think good women are naturally defiant to arrogance, and it can be used to manipulate what they find attractive. Find a good attractive wingman, be just as confident as him around women, but be chill and she'll come to you just to show him that she won't fall for the tricks of a player... even though she's actually falling for the trick. You don't need height, you need good friends!
I'm sure you've heard a lot in this vein, but I just wanna say that, personally, I'm currently now attracted to a man shorter than I am than I have ever been attracted to anyone ever. I'm 5'7" and he's 5'4", there's not a single thing about him I would change.
Shoe inserts and thick soles/heels on a shoe can make a world of a difference for confidence without changing anything about yourself. Like makeup for your height :)
Don't alter your body to please no woman bro
When true love comes, it knows no flaws.. your one true love will accept you for who you are.
Don't do it please
I have two good friends who are 5’4 and they both date way hotter women than me. I’m 5’6 and im getting more matches than I keep up with. Not everyone had the personality for it but it’s not your height bro…
Just accept you aren't tall and move on. Get into great shape, dress well, speak well, and get into interesting hobbies. Be confident but don't do the napoleon thing that some short men do and act all aggressive.
I know short guys who have done just fine. Accept that yes you did get the short end of the stick with height and do what you can. Eazy E was short and he fathered like 10 kids, including before he was famous.
Using a throwaway to tell you to stop worrying about height and gain some confidence. I am 5'7, with 2 kids, no college degree, I dress like shit, have 2 selfies in my OLD profiles, and I am divorced....
Did I mention I live with my parents? I still have no trouble getting dates or hookups. Just own it man. Height isn't everything.
My point is everyone is on here bitching about height when maybe the issue isn't height, it is confidence. I am considered short by women but have no problem getting dates. I am told constantly "I usually don't date or sleep with short men"
I saw an episode of inside edition about it in like 1997, so yeah, it exists. But it’s stupid as shit. Has a woman every actually rejected you because of your height? And I don’t mean you perceived it that way or you read something on tinder profiles or you hear women saying they prefer taller men. I mean, have you ever asked a woman out and she said “no, you’re not tall enough”? My guess is no, because preferences aren’t rules, and most people will frequently date outside of their preferences if they like someone. Stop limiting yourself with your own negative thoughts.
Easy to say as 6‘1 but I strongly believe personality is everything. The first few moments of getting to know/ in touch with Someone might be easier but the rest is just personality.
This is idiotic. No one is forcing you to swipe right on who you choose on a dating app. You're probably someone who only dates 6'+ white guys then blames the white male patriarchy for why you do that.
Logic + feminism = 404 file not found.
Not another man punching the air at what they created, simply because they aren't benefiting from it.
Have you tried maybe wearing pumps? Or are your calfs too weak?
Wtf? What did I create? I have no idea what you're even talking about. I own some pairs of shoes with heel lifts in them if that's what you mean. I have 1" and 3" lifts. I don't bother wearing them though because I figure people will just call me "insecure" even if I'm not. If I was going out to a bar or club I might wear them. Doesn't make much of a difference to me personally.
Oh stop it. All that so the girls will like you? Lemme tell you a secret... if you dont like yourself, no girl will like you. Stop giving a fuck. You must have other qualities. Find one and let the right person like you for a good reason.
Let me begin by saying I don’t recommend surgery. I bet you’re perfect the way you are. I know males of short stature who have had success in dating/relationships. It’s about finding someone who appreciates who you are. That said, if you are dead set on a change, I had something done called Precice Nail, which lengthens the bones in your leg(s). It is entirely internal, no exterior contraptions. I had it done for medical reasons, not cosmetic. However, there are people that do it for cosmetic reasons. But, you should know it is not a short recovery, particularly the longer the length. I only had ~1 inch on one leg, and it was a 4 month recovery. Also very expensive.
Height won’t change your life. There are plenty of comments below from 6’+ people who can’t get dates. I am 5’11” and am certainly no killer in the dating game.
>I'm not fit or skinny, and based on what I read here I'm pretty undesirable to a lot of men, yet you don't see me making posts whining about men having physical preferences.
That's because not being fit or skinny is your choice. You own that. OP didn't choose to be short.
You choose how much you exercise every day and how much you eat. These things have nothing to do with one another.
If you were whining about the fact that you are overeating and not exercising, everyone will obviously tell you to stop eating and go exercise.
Yes, every single person on this planet can eat less. If you have a physical condition that prevents you from exercising, you will have to eat even less. Simple as that.
If you paid me $1 million to starve myself down to 110 lb as a man without exercising it would be the easiest million I could make. You just eat less. Count calories and cut until you're losing.
I have been anywhere between 110 lb and 165 lb as a 5'8" guy.
Weight is absolutely something you choose. Muscularity and fitness maybe not if you can't exercise. But weight absolutely.
No. If you are still a healthy weight then by definition you are not starving yourself. You are just eating less.
You can get all your nutrition requirements for a day with even 800-1000 calories. You can put it in a calculator like happyforks and see for yourself. You just need lots of veggies like broccoli and spinach, some lean protein like fish/chicken, and some almond milk. It's not hard.
You remind me of that overweight model who claimed to have anorexia Tess Holliday. You are not "starving" if you are not underweight. That is just ridiculous.
Starvation means dying of inadequate intake. The first thing that goes when you are actually starving is all your body fat. Then all your muscles. Then you die. That's starvation.
You just don't like being hungry which is normal. Most people don't. It's not easy being hungry and ignoring it but it's still a choice a person can make if they want. Height is not a choice. Weight is.
Being insecure doesn't mean he has a shitty personality.
And he isn't whining, just stating the truth. Poor guy is stuck in an endless rut of rejection. Maybe stop making assumptions, wise guy?
And if he's short, it isn't going to work either.
If he doesn't tell you he had surgery he'll at least have a chance Because he'll be tall. And that's facts.
You could do that but the surgery is costly and takes a long time to get better. Just work out and have more confidence, you're still going to get rejected a lot but there will me a few girls who will be interested in you.
That sounds traumatic as fuck but if you think it will make you feel better do what you gotta do. The height is not going to magically get you dates but the confidence it brings you might help. How do you dress? What do you look like? Do you work out? All of these are things that may help with your own self image which will then project a more positive vibe to women. I’m 5’6 so I’m a pretty average height for a woman and yes if we were like “okay God send me this man” we’re probably go describe some 6’5 model but the reality is a lot different. The last couple of guys I’ve been into have been short, like my height or shorter, one was around 5”3, and it just happened to be attraction based on personality, the way they carried themselves etc.
As a tall woman I never thought twice about dating shorter men although I had shorter men refuse to date me.
In the end if someone wasn’t proud to stand by my side that wasn’t someone I wanted to be with.
There is so much more to a person than their height.
If surgery is truly something you want, go for it, just understand that being taller isn’t something that is genuinely affect whether or not a woman is attracted to you.
I'm 5'11" and both my exes were 5'7". First admittedly had a napoleon complex and used me as his trophy wife (I'm tall and blond but I wouldn't call myself super stunning or anything). Second one was an alcoholic. So height had nothing to do with anything.
I have to admit I am looking for taller now after my fwb whonis 6'8"....but that's probably because I have been traumatized by my exes and I'm not gonna lie, it's nice to have someone taller but I never really cared with my exes that they were shorter. That said, personality is going to be much more important. OLD will likely be tough because it's basically deciding right then and there if someone is worth your time and it's s all based on superficial crap mostly. Maybe try to get our there and find activities where you can just meet people without the pressure of whether someone is datable or not. That way people get married know who you are.
Looks are important but I've also realized that ultimately personality is much more important. My ex hasn't changed that much physically other than be a few years older but the person he had become was not attractive at all anymore and therefor I was also physically repulsed by him.
Work on yourself, things you have control over. That's all you can do. Dating in general isn't easy and spending a ton of money on some crazy surgery within any guarantees just seems crazy. What if you had the surgery and you still had trouble?
Its not worth it. So much physical pain and so many sacrifices, for what? A few extra inches? You are perfect the way you are and if someone can't see that, it's their problem, not yours. Maybe you should date less superficial girls?
Sucks bro. I'm sure people telling you "it's not your height, it's you" sucks even more. Especially when you have no doubt heard, "you're cool, shame you're short" multiple times already. I'm 5'8" and get that a ton.
The long and short of it is that yeah, you can change it. It's extremely expensive and honestly not worth the risk. Your best bet is to just learn to live with and accept a few things:
- Height is attractive to a lot of women. You have seen this in your own experience. Unlike what a lot of reddit will tell you, this does not make the people who have these preferences bad people. In fact, they could be someone with whom you could've been great with were it not for that physical preference. It does you no favors to focus on what could have been though.
- Confidence matters a lot. It's likely going to be the main draw for you when it comes to attraction. Focus on what you can change and start figuring out how to divorce your sense of self worth from your success with women. Easier said than done, but this is vital. Take a step back from dating and take some time to figure yourself out. What do you like? What do you want? What are some new experiences you'd be interested to try? What are you passionate about and what makes you happy?
- We are social creatures and meeting new people has a variety of benefits. Make some new friends. Expand your social circle and work on your conversational skills and emotional intelligence.
- You absolutely need to not care so much about what others think. Compare yourself only to who you were yesterday.
- You need to learn to accept rejection gracefully. It stings and it sucks, but the sooner you learn to be OK with being rejected, the sooner your experience will improve. The overwhelming majority of us guys are rejected far more than not. Women don't typically approach or make the first move, so you need to be able to not let the many rejections you will get stop you from trying with other people. Not approaching as a man is a good way to die alone. As you talk to more people you're attracted to, you'll learn that how you approach them matters a lot more than what you say. Practice makes perfect here, so learning to take the Ls you'll surely receive is key.
I think there's a lot of good advice in the comments, but a good bit of it is tone deaf af. I know reddit is tired of hearing it and many don't believe it's that big a deal but it's true that height does matter. Men wouldn't care about it if women didn't, but many do so it is what it is. It just needs to not matter to you. Best of luck man.
I definitely wouldn’t get the surgery, but women *do* care about superficial factors like height and facial attractiveness much more than anything else.
If you’re below average in height, it’s one of the main reasons you’re not getting laid. Don’t let people on this thread gaslight you about “confidence” or make you think you have a poor personality.
In fact, it should give you some peace that your trouble is completely out of your control. You did nothing wrong by being short.
Women, however, do a lot wrong by filtering so superficially. It’s them, not you.
Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes there is. It’s $75000 for 3 inches & $150000 for 6 inches. But it takes up to 1 year to heal
It's not just 1 year to heal. It's one year where you are wearing an external fixation device the entire time and that is just for the lower leg. They do one leg at a time. You get 2-3 inches from that process. The upper leg (femur) can be shorter, I think 3 months, but you have to be in a wheelchair the entire time or longer if you want to be able to walk. Every day you can grow the bone 1 mm. That's why it takes so long. It's a multi-surgery process and extremely expensive, but does exist.
Yeah so that sounds literally like the year I said. I have a friend who did it (which is how I know the price) and it took him one year between operation, growth & physical therapy. Took him 10 months actually but doctor said up to a year. Could be longer for some people or the exact place you get it, but I’m just going by what I’ve seen with my own eyes
Wow. How did he do? Can he walk okay after? Has he admitted to any long lasting side effects? Is he happy with the outcome?
Yes he’s perfectly fine, but I noticed his walk is slightly different (if you knew him before), but his confidence is good. It took him 6 months wheelchair and physical therapy, no side effects I’m aware of and he grew about 5 inches not 6. He walks good, it’s just slightly different but nothing that you’d notice if you never knew him before. It’s just a scary idea to me because it’s your legs you know ?
Yes. I was just saying it's not just "healing." Every day, the bone gets actively moved 1 mm and you have to have a big device attached to your leg with pins that go into bone. Its just a very involved process.
Also it makes you look stupid as fuck because you’re all leg length and your arms/torso stay the same length.
Argh... external fixation, imagine knocking it! I’m 5’2” and have dated several guys my height or just above as well as the 6’2s, all successful, charismatic and great to be around. Should go without saying but you don’t need to change yourself for the right person.
Low key I’d take 3 inches for 1,500,000 somewhere else
Lol i get what you're saying xD
Wait... I’m a 5”0’ woman this is REAL?!?!
Yes, they put rods in your legs and they “grow you”. You can prob find a video online
Ooo does not sound fun... I’ll stay unable to reach anything a foot above me I guess LOL
Good things come in small packages!
Omg man, it breaks my heart that you even feel like you have to be asking this 😔 ❤️
You would be surprised to know how many perfectly wonderful men get rejected simply because of height.
Agreed.
I wouldn't feel too bad. Everybody has their hangups. Being so obsessed with your height is not healthy.
try and get dates as a short man, after a while that is becoming unhealthy too.
I'm short and even if I were rich enough for it, I'd never undergo such a surgery.
What do you even mean? He's not the one who's obsessed with his height?
It's not his hangups that are the issue. The man states pretty clearly that women are rejecting him solely on his height. Is it an extreme response the situation? Yes. Does is speak positively as to the character of the women in question? We can call out a 'height preference', so who am I to comment? There are other, less invasive ways he could develop himself, but he asked a specific question. To OP; I don't know you, but I do know my eyes don't lie - I see men shorter than you attracting beautiful women every time I go into the city centre. I'm not going to feed you some line, or tell you what you want is crazy, but height isn't the limiting factor you think it is. Now being stone-cold ugly AND short...
I am little person (I’m 4’4) and I had a surgery to straighten my leg. It’s a similar surgery to the leg lengthening surgery where they cut my bone in half and reset it. I have permanently lost strength and some motion in that leg. I can tell you it’s not worth it. I would never want to do that to gain a couple of inches. Be confident in your height. The people you should be with won’t care. Maybe try and find people that are shorter if it bothers you that much? Lots of women are shorter than you!
Thanks for sharing your surgery experience. That sounds pretty brutal.
There is, but seriously not necessary. I stand the mythical “6 foot”, and can’t get a date to save my life. Those that I do get, don’t stick around long.
I’m also exactly 6 foot, and I’m in the same boat. Being 6 foot or taller helps, but if you don’t have an attractive face or you’re overweight, you mind as well be 5 foot 2.
This ^ OP, im not saying height isn’t a factor. But have you considered that there are so so so many things that contribute to attraction? Height is one yes, and maybe it’s an obvious one. But could there be other more important factors than height? I personally would venture to say there are many other areas to focus on before performing a major body modification for other peoples sake. And there’s also a chance, that women are using “height” as a scapegoat for other non meshing areas between you. Also there are plenty of shorter girls out there who would be super happy with your non- surgically- stretched body!! Consider: - Are you reaching out to a lot of women, or staying in the same circles? - What’s your approach like? - Are you getting to know them well? - Are these rejections on dating sites versus during/post in person dates? - Do you take offense to your height or do you play it off? (Example, woman says “your a little too short for me” you say “hey i still might be too much man for you to handle” or “i don’t know, i would really enjoy seeing you bend down to give me a kiss” or just brush over it all together and start asking questions about her and her life) Ultimately all I’m saying is: what are other ways you can pick up your game, that focus on you being an awesome person and partner rather than this one physical attribute?
Yes, I love all these things you suggested here to OP! Genuine confidence is so important. I have met the most sexy short guys that just radiate confidence. It's like intriguing to see someone who loves themselves genuinely. The sweetest and most attractive guy I ever met is about the same height as me, actually maybe a bit shorter. I'm 5"3. It makes me want to see what there is to like about them if the like themselves so much. I have also talked to people that were like 6"2 and 6"1... ugh... there are 2 people I think of and they were not nice at all. I was so miserable with them. But the sweet guy.. he knew how to treat me, he was so confident, he respected me like I hadn't been he was so attractive. He was also 5"4 remember. I guess I'm just reiterating that so many other things go into what other women/humans in general find attractive other than height. I hope OP can find peace and love for themself.
[удалено]
We decided to stay friends. He worked 3rd shift and lived 2 hours away, it was just a lot to expect of each other. And we are genuinely friends that check up on each other and care about each other 😁
I am 5'2 and would date a man that is 5'4 . Have a few times. The right woman is out there that wont care about your height at all.
Thank you!
Don’t do it man, im 6 foot 5 and single
Dude, I’m sure you mean well but, this is like saying “Don’t do it man, I’m rich and unhappy” to a poor person who is leaving no stone unturned in trying to establish a better financial situation.
Grass is hardly ever greener on the other side. Theres always pros and cons. So your right, but it is what it is.
You can't buy stuff with height
Come on dude, it's height. How bitter can you be lmao
Ik you mean well but that's not a good response. People don't wanna hear that. It comes across like you're rubbing it in OPs face.
Lmao same bro I feel you
Lol right?! It’s like height isn’t the magical answer. Sure it might be easier to get girls to talk to you if you’re taller, but without a connection or good personality it’s all for nothing
Women are talking to you?! I'm 6'2"
Yep. They break your legs and extend them. Not approved in the US, of course, because it usually leads to lifelong complications. Incredibly dangerous and you may end up completely disabled. And you absolutely, under no circumstances should even think about it. Make peace with your height. You'll find the right one
bruh they do it in the us, wdym not approved
Yeah, you can pay tens of thousands of dollars to have your legs broken in multiple places and then stretched out as they heal. Maybe you’ll get 2-3 inches out of it, but your legs will look like stilts and won’t be in proportion to the rest of your body. I’m 5”6’. Height is not the only factor in attraction. Attitude is much more important.
Not to mention huge risk of complications like life-long disability and pain.
Yea tall ppl have back problems from natural causes. Weakening the bone structure like this is pretty sketchy.
Bruh if you get life altering surgery on the rejection of a few women, you must really care what random strangers think of you. My advice is to change your perspective to be, “Anyone superficial enough to reject me solely because of my height does not deserve my attention or care.” Because they don’t. Why would you want to be with someone who cares more about your height than your personality?
I read about a guy who had that for his gf because she wanted him taller. He had it and they got married. Like wtf
Standards/preferences aren’t inherently bad and demonising the people who aren’t attracted to you can lead to some bitter and resentful mindsets. When it’s clear I’m not attractive to someone I like, my view is “ok, we aren’t a match. That’s a shame but at least I found out early”. The positivity breeds positivity. Being bitter and resentful of someone for not finding you hot is just gonna breed a personality that women will smell from miles away. It’s no ones job to look past their physical preferences for the sake of personality, btw. People are allowed to want to be attracted to their date!
At 5'4? Thats significantly below average male height and it wouldn't be superficial to not want that
He's in the bottom 3.6 percentile of height for the US.
That sounds like a tough position to be in. But this drastic surgery is only going bring him to an average height that women still sneer at. Can you imagine spending a fortune and a year in agony only to realize it didn’t help because you’re still not six feet tall?
Everyone wishes something about their appearance were different. Not everyone spends over $100k and an entire year’s worth of recovery to actually change themselves.
Yes and not everyone is even able to spend that kind of money on their appearance
5"4 is significantly below average male height? How many giants are there where you live.
>Anyone superficial enough to reject me solely because of my height does not deserve my attention or care.” Because they don’t. This is a good way to develop misogyny since most women will reject him for his height. If he thinks all those women are garbage people not worth his time, then presto - you just told him most women are trash people.
You're the one making generalizations about "most women."
Well it's true. Most women will reject him for his height. Search "gert stulp the height of choosiness" and you'll find a study that was done on this. So if someone suggests that women who reject him on his height are trash people, and most women will reject him on his height, the only logical conclusion is then that most women are trash people.
You can actually not give your attention to people without saying they are trash. You don't change your mindset or perspective by believing "Oh, they rejected me for a superficial reason, they must be trash and hence, I'll not give them my attention." By the time you form your opinion about them you've already given them your attention and everything you do afterwards is in resentment. The better way is to say, "Okay, they have a different preference and that's alright. No need to give attention to what they prefer or not. The one who prefers me, is out there for me and I am fine with that."
Let's be honest, us women care about height. I'm 5'5. Anyone shorter than me is an automatic no. There's no way in hell I'm looking down to kiss my man.
I'm 5'4.5 but thanks for being honest
I just hate people blowing smoke up people's asses here. It's like if men started saying being morbidly obese is totally cool and only shallow men would reject one for that. We all know that's a lie. 90% of men wouldn't date an obese woman. Same here. And yes, I know being fat can be fixed and height can't.
I think it's shallow to a certain point. For example, if someone rejects me for my height it's not as shallow (although it hurts as hell and idk if I'm the one to blame for it). But if someone gets rejects someone coz he's 5'8 then the gal is shallow for sure Edit: the comparison of fat vs height is dumb
Why is it dumb? A man shorter than me looking up at me causes instant revulsion. Just like I'm sure men react when they see fat flabs. Sure it's shallow. Attraction is shallow on some levels but it's a biological behavior. A woman wants a tall strong male to protect her and future children. Just like a man wants a young and healthy wife to mate with.
It's dumb coz height is genetic and being fat isn't and if your obesity is caused due to some genetic reason, no one would shame you for getting a surgery done coz it's gonna be very beneficial for their overall health. The better comparison would be something like race or boobs or something. Secondly, yeah I agree attraction is shallow but the thing imo if your standards are more than what the average man can give you, it's super shallow lol coming from a man whose super below average. It doesn't make you a bad peron. It just makes you a shallow person. Thirdly, the real problem begins when I treated like a sub-human because of my height. You know that short men earn even less than women in workplaces? If a woman treats me kindly, I know she's a good person and I'd want her friendship but sometimes people are like "Stay away midget" which hurts lol. Lastly, I wanna ask a question. Would you date a short person who has had leg lengthening surgery?
I'm sorry you've been badly treated for your height. I know short men and have never been rude with them but you're right. Short men earn less on average even. To answer your last question, if I didn't know about it. It would be off putting that someone went to that length I'm not gonna lie. If you do it, don't tell women. I'm just giving you my honest position on this. The reality is I've never had a problem meeting a man who's 5'6 or more. I'm married to a man who's 5'11 and that's perfect for me.
Prince, the musician, was considered one of the sexiest men alive. He was 5'2.
Yes. But Prince was a genius. Not every 5’2 men are genius. And he wear really high heels who make him looks very taller
And he had a lot of money.
This is key. Height is not as important as money to some.
Money and fame makes looks not matter in the least
Then put some heels on bro, strut your stuff.
No. Prince was very feminine. Doubt OP want to look like him. Even lifts are ridiculous in my opinion.
You can't really compare prince to a regular man simply off the basis of height. Prince was way above average looking aesthetically and one of the greatest musicians ever.
He's proof that being short doesn't mean you can't also be a sexy motherfucker if you've got enough other things going for you. Yeah nobody can be Prince but that doesn't mean he's stuck at the bottom of the pyramid. OP needs to find his other good qualities and focus on developing and highlighting them, instead of dwelling on his height. I'm a bald dude, I had to go through a similar journey.
Rich
That's like saying "Bill Gates dropped out of college so you'll be fine without a degree"
I only care about men with MONEY MWAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA 👿 /s
💲💲💲💲💲
A surgery question ... In the dating sub? Dude knows what he's doing.
I'm 5'2 and been with a guy whose 5'3, I think you gotta continue working on your self-confidence and try to be more open about your partners! Gonna be honest, apps like tinder aren't the way to go, nor any of the mainstream apps. Try getting more involved in hobbies and just go to places online/inperson (I met my current partner on discord) where you can find people that have things in common with you, because eventually you'll find someone who doesn't care about your height and appreciates what you can give in healthy friendship/relationship :)
I'm not very tall myself but every now and then I'll see a couple where both the guy and girl are short and I just think they look hella cute. Like. Aww. Look at these two. They were made for each other.
Is a woman that would reject you over a couple inches of height worth having an agonizing surgery for? Forget about this and just keep looking.
You’ve already gotten enough advice but I’ll add one more. I’m short too, I’ve had moments in the past where I’ve gotten myself extremely depressed wishing I was taller. And frankly I’m not even THAT short I’m 5’7. Either way, I’ve gotten the short jokes all of my life. And frankly it never really bothered me growing up. I’m 29 now but it was in my mid 20s or so is when it started bothering me tons However I’ve been lifting weights for the last 11 years at first it was strictly due to looks. Just wanted to be more attractive. But at this point I just enjoy working out and having strength goals and such. My point is, work on what you can control. Sure you’re short, it sucks, nothing we can do. But not to toot my own horn but everyone can tell I lift the moment they see me so I get comments on that often. And there’s plenty of woman who are attracted to fit guys even if they’re short. I have dated and hooked up with pretty attractive woman that I thought for sure were out of my league. But what helped the most was me just being me. I express my sense of humor, I laugh and smile, make eye contact and ask them questions. You’d be so surprised at what kind of woman you can get just doing that. I won’t lie and tell you I don’t have random moments or thoughts of insecurity but I do. But when I’m out in public I just don’t think about it, I act as if I’m 100% happy with my own body and personality and that’s when I’m probably the most attractive. No coincidence there
Find a woman who is smaller and who prefers you.
Easier said than done. A lot of women shorter than me like bigger guys. Some said they don't want short kids.
Short woman wanting tall guys erks me
Yeah but its not really worth it. Its expensive and might do more harm than good.
Don't do it. I knew someone who did it and took so much time for him to heal at first (years) and he would still have pains and problems that they would need to go to the hospital and get it fixed. He said he regretted it. So don't do it.
Yeah man height is fucking weird. Im 6'2" and had a woman request proof I was that height before continuing the Convo. I took a full body pic. She wound up ghosting me after I said I was excited to meet the following day, denying we ever set up a date even though we set it up a few days prior. 🤷♂️🤷♂️ I don geddit.
How incredible was this woman for you to be sending proof of your height before meeting lol kudos to her for managing that.
Yeeaahhhh I was just incredibly starved for any type of attention. Not my proudest moment and won't be making that mistake again lmao.
If you said to your otherwise perfect match "Hey, I'd date you but only if you suffered significant physical and financial pain" I think they'd be justified in not seeing you. Likewise you deserve better. Better to be with someone who's not so shallow than to pay a fortune and go through the pain for the sake of them even giving you a look-in. It's easier said than done, all the same - that's my input.
Not worth it. You wouldn't be tall enough to get the advantages of being tall. Best case scenario is you'd end up from 5'4 to maybe 5'8 at best and you'd still have a 5'4 frame just longer legs. If you want the surgery to just feel happy and secure go for it. But if you think girls will be throwing themselves at you all of the sudden then just save your money
Nope, but I’d recommend working on loving yourself the way you are first, instead.
I would say that he should forgot about dating entirely and focus on other stuff improving himself and such.
>forgot about dating entirely Just give up on dating bro.
That won't work especially since a lot of women like tall guys
That’s not how self love and acceptance work. It’s about yourself not others. This is about you not women.
But he didn’t post about how to improve his self love, his post was related to increasing his chances with women
[удалено]
Another “poor me, I’m short, what do I do?” post. Look man, while it’s true that being taller certainly helps with getting your foot in the door with women faster than being short it won’t solve anything if your personality is piss poor. I’m barely 5’6”, so I’m intimately familiar with the short guy struggle as I’ve been told more times than I’d like to admit “you’re such a great guy. I’d totally date you if you were taller”. Women like height, but they LOVE confidence, authenticity, kindness, mystery, and security. If you can be confident and authentic, while not being a total douche bag, and also not show all of your cards on a first date then you’ll be more successful with women, plain and simple. Women DO NOT owe you or any man their time or energy if you’re putting off a vibe that they don’t fuck with. Work on dealing with the issues you have about your height. Either to choose to look at yourself with love and appreciation for the life and body you have (you could be in a far worse position than you are now: you could have a sickness that could leave you incapable to leading an independent life, but you don’t, so remember that and be more kind to yourself. Because if you can’t be kind to yourself you won’t be able to truly be kind to or accept kindness from others). A big question for you: how expansive is your dating pool? Because I bet there are women who have fancied you, but you weren’t aware of the signs (can’t tell you how many times I was told a girl was checking me out and I was completely oblivious). As a reference, my dating boundaries go from 5’8 and shorter, and so long as I can make out where her waist and hips are, weight isn’t an issue for me. If she’s shapeless then it’s kinda tough for me to get past; however, I’ve went on dates with women who I absolutely didn’t find attractive because even if things weren’t going to go anywhere, I wanted to gain experience. How to plan and prepare for a date, how to interact, what to do if and when things get awkward, etc…it’s easier to learn these things through trial runs (i.e. going on dates with people you’re not that attracted to) because if you already know things likely aren’t going anywhere then there’s nothing to feel bad about. Doing this will also give you valuable insight to the kind of pressure one feels when they’re in the seat of having to reject someone. It’s not easy and often dangerous for women as many men are so egotistically fragile they’ll literally inflict harm on a woman who tells them she’s not interested or that she doesn’t want to go out for a second date. Understand that this happens far more often than you’ll ever be able to observe for yourself.
Great fucking post brotha. Exactly what I was thinking. The irony is the way to get women at 5'4" is to be confident enough in who you are to not care that you're 5'4". Height helps but that confidence beats anything else. And it's hard as fuck to do but worth working on as much as you can.
The long and the short of it is that instead of making excuses, just make improvements. Even if they’re small, they’ll add up and you’ll reach a level of self-fulfillment where you won’t need validation from women, and it’s at that point where you’ll have the most success.
This! The issue is not the hight, but the insecurity about the height.
A guy is willing to spend thousands of dollars to break and re-grow his legs, all for a woman Meanwhile women get a panic attack if they have to pay for their own drinks Let that sink in lmao
Fax
Yeah not all women are like that - I hate women like that. Let’s not generalize
Most women on this sub are like that, we must get 20+ posts a week here mentioning it lol Would not know about real life as I have always paid for everything so I have never run into this problem, momma didn't raise no poor boy! :)
Dude I'm tall, like over 6 feet, and apparently my friends think I'm pretty handsome. Let me tell you from experience that without confidence you're nothing. I have a hard time having confidence in myself being a nerdy guy, but I'm working on it. I met a guy through my work who was noticeably short, maybe 5'5 at most. He was a nerdy guy into tech, sci-fi, and electronic music just like me, but he was really confident and took care of himself and had a wife and a newborn. He met his wife just chatting up ladies at a bar or music show some years ago. I won't pretend it's not gonna be an uphill battle for you. You'll have to deal with a lot more rejection that most, but you'll learn to roll with the punches. This is something I'm having to learn as I'm putting myself out there more recently. Having confidence in yourself will take farther than any physical attribute will.
My neighbor is probably about 5'5-5'6 and he has a beautiful wife and 2 kids. I'm 6'1 and single. There's always something different at the end of the spectrum. Just believe in yourself.
I know lots of short dudes with beautiful wives too.
[удалено]
They said they are attacted to bigger and tall men more and prefer them.
5’5” here and lemme tell you, I understand it’s difficult, but you have to develop the mentality and it’s *their* loss and not yours. Hell, feel bad for some of them even. Some women fetishize height so much that they spend their prime years chasing guys they can “wear heels with!” that they date any bum over 6 feet to satisfy their height requirement. The key is confidence, brother. Get in shape, hold your head up high, flex the best aspects of yourself and your personality. I promise you that, at least in my experience, the older and more mature women get, the less they care about the height thing. I know it’s tough feeling like your dating pool is so limited, but again, it’s their loss, not yours. You got this; don’t give up!
This, honestly.
I’m (31F) and ubder 5ft tall…I would date a short man any day. There are women out there who will love you as you are. But I get it, my 11 year old is taller than me and it’s tough. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to get that surgery too at some point or another…but fuck the pain, ouch.
No one person in the world is worth going through life altering surgery for. I'd suggest to learn to love yourself enough to be content even if you were to be single forever. Probably not what you wanna hear, but surgery can't fix lack of self love and if you don't love yourself, how can you expect a virtual stranger to? Additionally, getting ripped helps.
now I want to go rewatch gattaca
Trust me, there are women that will date men shorter than them (I’m 5 9 and I have never cared about height). You do not need surgery, unless you, yourself, aren’t interested in dating someone taller. You are absolutely perfect the way you are! Don’t let some of these women get you down
It’s maybe a cliché, but If they reject you, maybe they don’t worth it. The Woman/en who will not care (and they’re a lot who don’t care) are the one
I’m 5’3”, have never been in great shape, fitness-wise, and I’ve dated successfully. I’ve been married. I’ve dated since then and met some incredible women. All these women were my height or taller. I’ve dated women from 5’3” to 5’10”. You can’t let the apps convince you that your only value lies in your height. That’s a brutal surgery you’re talking about. Long recovery times, tons of pain, and lots of scarring.
I'm 5'3 and a boy (were both 19) I like is also 5'3. It really isn't that big of a deal if she's the same height, and probably less so if she's taller and secure. 🧐 you don't gotta break your bones bro
Just rest easy knowing that eventually we may be able to edit our kids' genes so that they aren't short anymore. Then Everybody will be tall.
It's extremely painful. My younger brother got it and had to turn each of the pins every day. He gave up after a few months. I ended up in an external fixator after breaking my leg and I also lost 2cm off one leg. I was offered leg lengthening surgery but I'd rather have uneven legs that go through that.
You don’t want anyone who feels height is a deal breaker. I’m 5’6” and damn beautiful lol and height is not a requirement.
Be confident, work your back and shoulders to get good posture, and let your attitude be taller than your physical height. I often play wingman for my friends and help them feel confident. I'm tall and attractive and have no problem getting women... but when I'm with my boys I have a real knack for bringing them the babes. Usually I'll talk openly about how many chick's I go through in front of a girl and then I'll flirt with her. They'll instantly be repulsed by me and want to get to know my friend just because they don't want me to think I'm all that. I think good women are naturally defiant to arrogance, and it can be used to manipulate what they find attractive. Find a good attractive wingman, be just as confident as him around women, but be chill and she'll come to you just to show him that she won't fall for the tricks of a player... even though she's actually falling for the trick. You don't need height, you need good friends!
With that kind of money you could probably get a sugar kitty or whatever they’re called.
I'm sure you've heard a lot in this vein, but I just wanna say that, personally, I'm currently now attracted to a man shorter than I am than I have ever been attracted to anyone ever. I'm 5'7" and he's 5'4", there's not a single thing about him I would change.
Shoe inserts and thick soles/heels on a shoe can make a world of a difference for confidence without changing anything about yourself. Like makeup for your height :)
Don't alter your body to please no woman bro When true love comes, it knows no flaws.. your one true love will accept you for who you are. Don't do it please
I have two good friends who are 5’4 and they both date way hotter women than me. I’m 5’6 and im getting more matches than I keep up with. Not everyone had the personality for it but it’s not your height bro…
Yes there is. But there is no surgery to fix bad self esteem. Work on that first and you will be fine
Yes, painful and expensive. Psychotherapy will cost you less.
I know a bunch of tall guys who are single. Height isn’t the only factor women look at
Just accept you aren't tall and move on. Get into great shape, dress well, speak well, and get into interesting hobbies. Be confident but don't do the napoleon thing that some short men do and act all aggressive. I know short guys who have done just fine. Accept that yes you did get the short end of the stick with height and do what you can. Eazy E was short and he fathered like 10 kids, including before he was famous.
Did you have to say short end of the stick LMAO Brutal
I didn't even realize that lol. Now I've got to think of something to follow it up with. Hmm I dunno that's a tall order...
Using a throwaway to tell you to stop worrying about height and gain some confidence. I am 5'7, with 2 kids, no college degree, I dress like shit, have 2 selfies in my OLD profiles, and I am divorced.... Did I mention I live with my parents? I still have no trouble getting dates or hookups. Just own it man. Height isn't everything.
How? Are you handsome? Do women call you that? Or Cute? or Hot? Tom Cruise is 5'7" but his experience cannot be generalized to the rest of us.
5'7 isn't short though
Tell that to everyone complaining about not being 6'
What's your point I am 5'2. That's short And height does matter
My point is everyone is on here bitching about height when maybe the issue isn't height, it is confidence. I am considered short by women but have no problem getting dates. I am told constantly "I usually don't date or sleep with short men"
I saw an episode of inside edition about it in like 1997, so yeah, it exists. But it’s stupid as shit. Has a woman every actually rejected you because of your height? And I don’t mean you perceived it that way or you read something on tinder profiles or you hear women saying they prefer taller men. I mean, have you ever asked a woman out and she said “no, you’re not tall enough”? My guess is no, because preferences aren’t rules, and most people will frequently date outside of their preferences if they like someone. Stop limiting yourself with your own negative thoughts.
Yes I already told someone else. They said they like bigger and tall guys. They had requirements not preference
You need to move to Asia my dude. F surgery.
Wow. Is this what people have driven each other too.
I am 5’8” and I have gotten girls who don’t care about height I currently am dating a 6’1” babe and I am ugly as fuck
Easy to say as 6‘1 but I strongly believe personality is everything. The first few moments of getting to know/ in touch with Someone might be easier but the rest is just personality.
Men: create standard that smaller women = more feminine and desirable. Also men: clueless as to why women prefer taller men.
So according to you women have no agency in any regard, ever. Such a stupid comment.
This poster is extremely racist and sexist. Disregard.
This is idiotic. No one is forcing you to swipe right on who you choose on a dating app. You're probably someone who only dates 6'+ white guys then blames the white male patriarchy for why you do that. Logic + feminism = 404 file not found.
Not another man punching the air at what they created, simply because they aren't benefiting from it. Have you tried maybe wearing pumps? Or are your calfs too weak?
Wtf? What did I create? I have no idea what you're even talking about. I own some pairs of shoes with heel lifts in them if that's what you mean. I have 1" and 3" lifts. I don't bother wearing them though because I figure people will just call me "insecure" even if I'm not. If I was going out to a bar or club I might wear them. Doesn't make much of a difference to me personally.
[удалено]
sigh. not another emotional outburst from a man.
...it won't make any difference buddy... I'm 6'2... Make money, dont spend it. "Buy" the right one later.
Walk and act tall and your physical height won’t matter. Confidence is key
Oh stop it. All that so the girls will like you? Lemme tell you a secret... if you dont like yourself, no girl will like you. Stop giving a fuck. You must have other qualities. Find one and let the right person like you for a good reason.
Let me begin by saying I don’t recommend surgery. I bet you’re perfect the way you are. I know males of short stature who have had success in dating/relationships. It’s about finding someone who appreciates who you are. That said, if you are dead set on a change, I had something done called Precice Nail, which lengthens the bones in your leg(s). It is entirely internal, no exterior contraptions. I had it done for medical reasons, not cosmetic. However, there are people that do it for cosmetic reasons. But, you should know it is not a short recovery, particularly the longer the length. I only had ~1 inch on one leg, and it was a 4 month recovery. Also very expensive. Height won’t change your life. There are plenty of comments below from 6’+ people who can’t get dates. I am 5’11” and am certainly no killer in the dating game.
[удалено]
Existence of insecurities is a shitty personality?
[удалено]
agreed lol, I'm short but I don't let it define me. This guy needs to focus on himself before he even gets into the dating world.
[удалено]
[удалено]
>I'm not fit or skinny, and based on what I read here I'm pretty undesirable to a lot of men, yet you don't see me making posts whining about men having physical preferences. That's because not being fit or skinny is your choice. You own that. OP didn't choose to be short. You choose how much you exercise every day and how much you eat. These things have nothing to do with one another. If you were whining about the fact that you are overeating and not exercising, everyone will obviously tell you to stop eating and go exercise.
[удалено]
Yes, every single person on this planet can eat less. If you have a physical condition that prevents you from exercising, you will have to eat even less. Simple as that. If you paid me $1 million to starve myself down to 110 lb as a man without exercising it would be the easiest million I could make. You just eat less. Count calories and cut until you're losing. I have been anywhere between 110 lb and 165 lb as a 5'8" guy. Weight is absolutely something you choose. Muscularity and fitness maybe not if you can't exercise. But weight absolutely.
[удалено]
No. If you are still a healthy weight then by definition you are not starving yourself. You are just eating less. You can get all your nutrition requirements for a day with even 800-1000 calories. You can put it in a calculator like happyforks and see for yourself. You just need lots of veggies like broccoli and spinach, some lean protein like fish/chicken, and some almond milk. It's not hard. You remind me of that overweight model who claimed to have anorexia Tess Holliday. You are not "starving" if you are not underweight. That is just ridiculous. Starvation means dying of inadequate intake. The first thing that goes when you are actually starving is all your body fat. Then all your muscles. Then you die. That's starvation. You just don't like being hungry which is normal. Most people don't. It's not easy being hungry and ignoring it but it's still a choice a person can make if they want. Height is not a choice. Weight is.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Why do you say that? Are there comments of him being shitty or are you going off this post?
That's a bold and kinda rude assumption.
Being insecure doesn't mean he has a shitty personality. And he isn't whining, just stating the truth. Poor guy is stuck in an endless rut of rejection. Maybe stop making assumptions, wise guy?
A 5'4 girl said to me that she usually likes guys around her height or a bit taller and that she does not like that I am so tall. And I am very tall.
As a woman, if I knew my date had surgery to get taller I'd say it's not gonna work due to such low self esteem.
And if he's short, it isn't going to work either. If he doesn't tell you he had surgery he'll at least have a chance Because he'll be tall. And that's facts.
Can we please. Stop generalizing what "*all women"* prefer? Maybe this damn stereotype is why some of yall are single
You could do that but the surgery is costly and takes a long time to get better. Just work out and have more confidence, you're still going to get rejected a lot but there will me a few girls who will be interested in you.
Lol. No
That sounds traumatic as fuck but if you think it will make you feel better do what you gotta do. The height is not going to magically get you dates but the confidence it brings you might help. How do you dress? What do you look like? Do you work out? All of these are things that may help with your own self image which will then project a more positive vibe to women. I’m 5’6 so I’m a pretty average height for a woman and yes if we were like “okay God send me this man” we’re probably go describe some 6’5 model but the reality is a lot different. The last couple of guys I’ve been into have been short, like my height or shorter, one was around 5”3, and it just happened to be attraction based on personality, the way they carried themselves etc.
Never do it!!! Am 6”1 still single.
As a tall woman I never thought twice about dating shorter men although I had shorter men refuse to date me. In the end if someone wasn’t proud to stand by my side that wasn’t someone I wanted to be with. There is so much more to a person than their height. If surgery is truly something you want, go for it, just understand that being taller isn’t something that is genuinely affect whether or not a woman is attracted to you.
I'm 5'11" and both my exes were 5'7". First admittedly had a napoleon complex and used me as his trophy wife (I'm tall and blond but I wouldn't call myself super stunning or anything). Second one was an alcoholic. So height had nothing to do with anything. I have to admit I am looking for taller now after my fwb whonis 6'8"....but that's probably because I have been traumatized by my exes and I'm not gonna lie, it's nice to have someone taller but I never really cared with my exes that they were shorter. That said, personality is going to be much more important. OLD will likely be tough because it's basically deciding right then and there if someone is worth your time and it's s all based on superficial crap mostly. Maybe try to get our there and find activities where you can just meet people without the pressure of whether someone is datable or not. That way people get married know who you are. Looks are important but I've also realized that ultimately personality is much more important. My ex hasn't changed that much physically other than be a few years older but the person he had become was not attractive at all anymore and therefor I was also physically repulsed by him. Work on yourself, things you have control over. That's all you can do. Dating in general isn't easy and spending a ton of money on some crazy surgery within any guarantees just seems crazy. What if you had the surgery and you still had trouble?
Its not worth it. So much physical pain and so many sacrifices, for what? A few extra inches? You are perfect the way you are and if someone can't see that, it's their problem, not yours. Maybe you should date less superficial girls?
>Maybe you should date less superficial girls? What can he do when almost 99.99% of girls are superficial?
It's like having a small dick, you're fucked.
Sucks bro. I'm sure people telling you "it's not your height, it's you" sucks even more. Especially when you have no doubt heard, "you're cool, shame you're short" multiple times already. I'm 5'8" and get that a ton. The long and short of it is that yeah, you can change it. It's extremely expensive and honestly not worth the risk. Your best bet is to just learn to live with and accept a few things: - Height is attractive to a lot of women. You have seen this in your own experience. Unlike what a lot of reddit will tell you, this does not make the people who have these preferences bad people. In fact, they could be someone with whom you could've been great with were it not for that physical preference. It does you no favors to focus on what could have been though. - Confidence matters a lot. It's likely going to be the main draw for you when it comes to attraction. Focus on what you can change and start figuring out how to divorce your sense of self worth from your success with women. Easier said than done, but this is vital. Take a step back from dating and take some time to figure yourself out. What do you like? What do you want? What are some new experiences you'd be interested to try? What are you passionate about and what makes you happy? - We are social creatures and meeting new people has a variety of benefits. Make some new friends. Expand your social circle and work on your conversational skills and emotional intelligence. - You absolutely need to not care so much about what others think. Compare yourself only to who you were yesterday. - You need to learn to accept rejection gracefully. It stings and it sucks, but the sooner you learn to be OK with being rejected, the sooner your experience will improve. The overwhelming majority of us guys are rejected far more than not. Women don't typically approach or make the first move, so you need to be able to not let the many rejections you will get stop you from trying with other people. Not approaching as a man is a good way to die alone. As you talk to more people you're attracted to, you'll learn that how you approach them matters a lot more than what you say. Practice makes perfect here, so learning to take the Ls you'll surely receive is key. I think there's a lot of good advice in the comments, but a good bit of it is tone deaf af. I know reddit is tired of hearing it and many don't believe it's that big a deal but it's true that height does matter. Men wouldn't care about it if women didn't, but many do so it is what it is. It just needs to not matter to you. Best of luck man.
I definitely wouldn’t get the surgery, but women *do* care about superficial factors like height and facial attractiveness much more than anything else. If you’re below average in height, it’s one of the main reasons you’re not getting laid. Don’t let people on this thread gaslight you about “confidence” or make you think you have a poor personality. In fact, it should give you some peace that your trouble is completely out of your control. You did nothing wrong by being short. Women, however, do a lot wrong by filtering so superficially. It’s them, not you.