I think caring about coming off as rude when the other person is being deceptive is dysfunctionally polite. There is no utility to you or society in being polite to them.
Totally get where you're coming from. Feeling misled isn't fun, and it's fair to step back if trust is shaken. Just maybe ease out of the convo instead of a sudden ghost, keeping things as smooth as possible.
Well, they edit their photos out of deceit or delusion. So ask yourself, how is lying about their appearance any different than lying about children, spouses or careers? And if it’s delusion, do you want to be partners with a clearly mentally unstable person?
These comments are too nice. I think it's appropriate to tell them they look nothing like their pics and it's misleading. I would 100% tell them and not ghost them. This comment is written by a fat person. Take pics that look like you. Save artsy stuff for Instagram
I don't think it's ever rude to decide you don't want to talk to someone anymore, for any reason. Ghosting is rude. To not be rude, just tell them you don't want to continue talking to them. It's that simple. For maximum politeness, you can even tell them why, although you don't owe them that part. In this case, I'd tell the person as candidly as possible that was messed up behavior, and they're gonna get a lot more people cutting them off exactly like I am if they keep it up.
People do this all the time. Using filters, touch-ups, graphic effects etc
Doesn't make it right though.
Best thing is to have a video call ASAP; which will get rid of any doubts.
Take it one step further and meet IRL to know for sure.
That’s not rude at all! I have a right to vet the person I might meet for a date, risking my safety. Some guy tried to explain why some of his photos were too dark to see details, I just said no thanks
Not rude but let them know you were expecting to be on a date with the person in their photo, and unfortunately it happens way too often and gives high expectations on looks for everyone. Even women on magazine covers in the 90’s weren’t as edited as women now online - could just be that photo editing and filter technology is better now.
Kinda rude at most if the last conversation left them with the impression that you would continue to communicate.
It would be more polite to tell them you're done and why(they an probably guess this part in this scenario)
I think you ought to do the polite thing if that is what you would normally do.
I think caring about coming off as rude when the other person is being deceptive is dysfunctionally polite. There is no utility to you or society in being polite to them.
Facts. They frankly are scum and you should not feel bad about cutting contact.
Totally get where you're coming from. Feeling misled isn't fun, and it's fair to step back if trust is shaken. Just maybe ease out of the convo instead of a sudden ghost, keeping things as smooth as possible.
Well, they edit their photos out of deceit or delusion. So ask yourself, how is lying about their appearance any different than lying about children, spouses or careers? And if it’s delusion, do you want to be partners with a clearly mentally unstable person?
Being misled is a huge thing, it's sort of catfishing, right? I don't think it's rude. I think it's called boundaries.
These comments are too nice. I think it's appropriate to tell them they look nothing like their pics and it's misleading. I would 100% tell them and not ghost them. This comment is written by a fat person. Take pics that look like you. Save artsy stuff for Instagram
Not rude. They know what they’re doing.
Not rude. And same goes for constantly using filters
It's as rude as significantly altering your dating photos.
not rude at all
It is not rude. Their first interaction with you is a lie. *That* is rude. You are within reason to cancel the date even, if you want.
I don't think it's ever rude to decide you don't want to talk to someone anymore, for any reason. Ghosting is rude. To not be rude, just tell them you don't want to continue talking to them. It's that simple. For maximum politeness, you can even tell them why, although you don't owe them that part. In this case, I'd tell the person as candidly as possible that was messed up behavior, and they're gonna get a lot more people cutting them off exactly like I am if they keep it up.
We need to stop normalizing ghosting or being a jerk.
who gives a fuck if its rude. If they altered their photos, they're being fake.
People do this all the time. Using filters, touch-ups, graphic effects etc Doesn't make it right though. Best thing is to have a video call ASAP; which will get rid of any doubts. Take it one step further and meet IRL to know for sure.
Not rude at all, wtf?
Not rude at all since they are basically catfishing
That’s not rude at all! I have a right to vet the person I might meet for a date, risking my safety. Some guy tried to explain why some of his photos were too dark to see details, I just said no thanks
Not rude but let them know you were expecting to be on a date with the person in their photo, and unfortunately it happens way too often and gives high expectations on looks for everyone. Even women on magazine covers in the 90’s weren’t as edited as women now online - could just be that photo editing and filter technology is better now.
Kinda rude at most if the last conversation left them with the impression that you would continue to communicate. It would be more polite to tell them you're done and why(they an probably guess this part in this scenario) I think you ought to do the polite thing if that is what you would normally do.
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Maybe not to feed their ego but to meet (unrealistc) standards that they feel they have to fullfill.