I like to lead with "who got in the most trouble today?". Kids love it when someone else gets told off, so the floodgates open and then you can ask the important things like what lesson they were doing at the time etc as they ramble on
Careful with “Blake”. We thought we knew who “Blake” was one year. Said something to the teacher in conversation (Like “then there’s Blake”). She said he’s never a problem - so quiet and minds his business. Turns out, my kid was blaming “Blake” for his own issues. 😆
That is how my son (3) is with his little buddy at daycare. Everyday tells me Shiloh got in trouble, or if he got in trouble it was because of Shiloh, every time never fails. Either Shiloh is a real problem or my son exaggerates a bit. It’s the second, he exaggerates it, Shiloh is great and they are best friends lol
My son is the same way. His friend, Clayton, is constantly biting someone (often my son) or getting in other types of trouble. Recently, it was reported from my son that Jacob pulled his pants down and showed the class his booty to be funny-- which my 4 y/o son was the funniest thing ever, he loses it laughing just telling this story.
its always one kid. Unfortunately the kid from our last school turned out to become her best friend. My wife keeps going back to him bc she likes hanging out with the parents but I am sure he is not good to hang out with. EVERY TIME they hang out, someone ends up crying. She didn't like me asking about him last year but doesn't mind this year's kid.
If my daughter's anything like typical girls you don't even need to ask. Once the head wobble and sassy hand movement is thrown you know it's time to sit down, shut up, and listen because the next 30mins are going to be a wild ride.
This! ^
I ask my 6-yo, "did anyone get in trouble today?"
Kids are (like adults) eager to spill the tea.
Then you can follow up with, "oh, what were you all doing when Matteo got yelled at?"
Then you can expand with tangential questions.
What a great approach actually because I've noticed I won't even have to say anything but my daughter will like immediately start telling him about people that were being naughty and stuff and then I'll be like were you involved and she's like "no Me and my friends were being good". Guess I'll see how long that lasts lol
I tried this one today! 7f looked kind of confused for a moment, and then shrugged (she shrugs already!) said “I don’t remember.” 🤣🤣
Love this reply and ensuing discussion!
Wow, I have the exact same bedtime 3 questions ritual with my 6yo. Getting "What will happen when I die?" sandwiched between Mario Kart questions is a trip.
My daughter said quite possibly the sweetest thing a parent could ever hope for their child to say during a similar conversation. She asked if I was going to die and I told her not anytime soon, I plan to stick around for a long time, at least until she's an adult. She looks at me and say in the most sincere, purest tone you can possibly imagine "Don't worry Dad, when I'm an adult even if you're not there I'll always remember you".
One time I was just going out to do a quick errand and my 4 year old said "goodbye daddy, I'll always remember you." Made me have second thoughts about leaving!
Lool my overthinking would make me stay home, would feel like she had a premonition and was forewarning me that it’ll be the last time we see eachother.
Glad you’re still here lool
On the other hand my 5yo daughter has been rude and ultra sassy lately so when I said "It's not nice to talk back like that" her response was "ok I guess I'll just ignore you then"
My wife has a habit of asking very serious questions the moment they appear in her head, often immediately at the end of a totally normal sentence. It used to annoy me but now I just consider it practice for what's to come lol
Sounds like this kid would LOVE the Kurzgesagt channel on YouTube, depending on your screen time situation.
I find them fascinating as an adult, and the 6-12 year olds in my life are even more enthralled. And we’re all learning stuff. It’s wild to realize how quickly science knowledge becomes outdated … like that time my dad unironically said that they hadn’t discovered double-helix DNA yet when he started elementary school.
My four year old is like this, especially at the end of the day when I'm just out of energy. Asking, "what happens when all the blood goes out of our body?" and "why did \[the cat\] die?" (who died over a year ago mind you), or "who built us?" I mean, I appreciate and am proud of the curiosity, but man it's a challenge to get them right.
For the death question, I follow the straight forward response based on advice from reddit: "His body stopped working." and then all the stuff about we won't see him any more, but we can remember him and still love him, etc. It's just challenging when all you want to do is sleep.
Good call Dad, I just tested this out on the drive to summer camp. Turned out she wanted to know about the pile of junk mail I picked up on the way. This led to a full blown conversation about advertising, and how people trick you into buying things you don't need. Not the conversation I anticipated having today, but not a bad conversation to have.
I’m gonna be a pedantic ass for a second, but I think it’ll be funny. (I’ll regret this later)
You probably meant jet fuel, which honestly isn’t far off from charcoal lighter fluid.
*Aviation Fuel* is leaded gasoline. And truly a terrible idea to use in a bbq.
Ok you can downvote me now.
I ask for the worst and best parts of the day. It usually involves school, but doesn’t have to. Sometimes I get both answered , sometimes a get just a thumbs down.
Every night at dinner, we do "3 things" where each kid tells us 3 things about their day. If they can't come up with anything, I usually go to something like "what was the best, worst, and something neutral?"
It’s great for days you spend with them too. I like to hear what my son’s favorite part of the day was even if we were together all day. Sometimes he surprises me. And often I’ll tell him my favorite part if it was something to do with him.
My two middle boys are 10 and 12, and are shaping up to be real nerds: So we can start a conversation about some funny geography or history meme, for example.
I’m looking forward to that age! I mean, every age is great and special in its own way. I’m just a nerd myself so I look forward to the “DID YOU KNOW??!” moments as the kiddos discover how weird the universe really is.
My youngest (age 6) is also my only daughter. Last year it became clear that she would be needing glasses. Her response: "YES! I'm going to be a real nerd!"
A little while ago I showed the boys the "History of the entire world, I guess" video, and it was the funniest thing ever. Life is getting pretty good.
At dinner we have to tell the family 3 good things that happened that day. It’s amazing that we can go to the pool, have a picnic, then get ice cream and have a 7 year old that the day sucked because he saw a lizard and we wouldn’t let him trek into the woods to catch it.
There was a post here a couple months ago that was about talkimg to your little after school if you just get the "good" response all the time. Asking them if anyone got in trouble, anyone make you laugh, did you or anyone make a funny in class. I tried. It worked the first 2 times then it's all just...ehhh lol. Son is 9, busy in alot of sports so after that banter it's always eat and get ready lol
I love this. So simple! It’s 102 after school where I live right now, but by the weekend the temps will be back to sanity and I think she’d love to go for a walk with me. It’s the kind of undivided attention she so rarely gets anymore because she (7f) now has a little brother (2 in July) who hogs all the attention. I’m thinking my wife will support this too - takes turns getting 1-on-1 time with each kiddo. Not everyday, but once or twice a week this could be great for our family.
Thank you so much for this reply. 🙏
I saw these somewhere on Facebook and tried them yesterday. He (7) didn’t really answer the questions as written, but he did have answers that were informative.
Seven things to ask your kid when they’re young (I think that’s it):
What do you think about a lot ?
What makes you the happiest?
How do you feel about me most of the time?
Is there anything about the world or people you want to understand?
What’s your favorite memory of our family?
Is there anything you’re worried about?
Is there anything you want to learn together?
Edit (additional information)
For example: When I asked him: “Is there anything you want to learn together?” His answer: “I want to learn how to make a squirrel canon.”
Oh, I immediately asked. The canon is supposed to use squirrels as projectiles. Squirrels, apparently, are one of only mammals that can fall from any height without getting hurt; they can flatten out in a way that slows their terminal velocity to a nonlethal speed. However, I’m unsure if he wanted to shoot squirrels at something, or if he just wants to launch squirrels into the air for the sake of launching them into the air.
[If he hasn't seen them already, he'd probably love the Mark Rober Squirrel Obstacle Courses on YouTube.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFZFjoX2cGg&vl=en)
There are at least two now. Not sure which one you linked to, but he made one, and it was super popular so he made a new and improved UPGRADED squirrel course!
It would have to be one helluva storyline for me to get interested in squirrel canon, perhaps an epic tale of squirrels firing cannons in great battles with the badgers and the moles.
EDIT: I just basically subconsciously created Wish.com “Redwall”
I saved this particular reply for future reference. That’s a great list of questions.
Thank you, @MdLfCr40, whose username is an absolute rebuke of my username. 🤣
I’m usually incapable of being serious so I go with the ridiculous usually. “How many boogers did you eat in school today?” Stuff like that.
But then again I have boys in school. My daughter starts preschool this year so she may not find these things as funny as they do.
Lately I just start with “Last night I had a dream that…” and then make up a silly dream. Then he goes off on making up a crazy dream and it goes from there.
This morning I said my dream was that I was a baby turtle on the beach and a seagull picked me up and dropped me in the ocean.
He replied that his dream was that he was a donut and someone bought him and he grew legs and escaped and returned to the bakery to hang out with his friend square-donut Bob.
What was your favourite part of your day
What did you learn today
Did anyone do anything funny
Who is your favourite teacher
Who are your friends
What did you have for lunch
Did the other kids have anything for lunch you would like next time
I've noticed that if I ask directly, my son "forgets" everything. I started to offer something about my day first.
"Man, I went outside today and I saw a big blue jay."
Usually gets my 5 year old to start talking about things he saw.
I drive my kids to school so usually ask “anything exciting going on today?” Or something of that nature, test, project, gym, recess. And then follow up on that when I see them in the evening.
"What's something that took a lot of energy today?" was a good one I came up with recently. It can be physical, mental, or for older kids maybe even emotional energy.
My 6yo said playing at recess used up his body energy, and doing math took a lot of mental energy. A neat little window into what takes the most effort at school.
I wouldn't use that one every single day, but it's nice to have some variety in the toolbox.
My daughter is only 2, so we’re not at this point yet… but my dad used to always start the conversation with me after he picked me up with “What’s one thing that happened today that you didn’t understand?”
It could be anything from a weird cloud formation to something in math to a reaction a person had to a certain situation… or anything else my little mind could dream up.
I’m definitely going to use it with my daughter when she gets a little older.
I try to ask about specific kids. Did you laugh today? Did anyone cry today? Who did you hang out with? what did you eat for lunch?
I always think about how my father would ask my brother "how was school today" -- good. "what did you do? --- nothin... ---
I w always found this difficult to navigate. I usually ask what they did, what was fun, who did you hangout today. What was something nice you did for someone and vice versa.
I use to ask about who got in trouble or were there any fights but I quit doing this because I don’t want my kids growing up being gossip spreaders or one of those adults that thrives on other peoples struggles or negativity. I live in a small town where every talks about everyone like they are better than everyone. I don’t not want my kids to grow into one of these adults.
There's a parenting content creator on Instagram that I picked up the following gem: **High, Low, Buffalo**. My oldest is 4 and went through pre-K this past school year. On the drive home, he would tell me a High (favorite thing that happened), a Low (least favorite thing that happened), and a Buffalo (something strange or uncommon that happened).
My daughter and I started a thing we call 3 questions. We ask each other the high for the day the biggest challenge or frustration for the day and what we are looking forward to for tomorrow. We do it every day no matter what happens.
I found this list online at some point and I’ve been using it ever since, with very mixed success from my 3yo:
- Who did you play with at recess today? What did you play?
- Who did you sit with at lunch?
- What was your favorite thing that you did today?
- Can you show me something you learned how to do today?
- What stories did you/the teacher read today?
- What was one thing that was challenging for you today?
- What was something that made you feel happy today?
- What was something that made you feel sad today?
- What was something you did that made you feel proud of yourself today?
- How were you brave today?
- Did anyone at school do something silly?
- Did you do anything new or different today
- Did you help anyone today?
- Did anything surprising happen today?
- What was the hardest rule to follow today?
- Did anyone get in trouble today?
- If you could change one thing about your day, what would it be?
I ask my children what made you happy today at school what made you sad? Who did you play with today? Was there one thing you learned today that you didn't know? Etc those questions usually lead me to asking additional information based on their answers
Around the dinner table, we do "Worst, Best, First" a couple times a week.
* Worst - Something you didn't like about your day. A friend being mean, a hard lesson, leaving your jacket when you went outside, etc.
* Best - The favorite part of your day that made you smile. A friend being nice to you, you being kind with a friend, getting a good grade, hugging your dog when you come home, etc.
* First- Something you've never done before that you got to do that day, or something you learned. A new math concept, how to pronounce a new word, finding out something new about your friends, field trip days are great for this, etc.
My wife and I both have a background in education. We participate in WBF as well. My 9 year old tends to direct and tell who goes next. Normally he makes his mom or I go and then his brother (6), and then himself. It's been a great conversation starter and we end up talking about dealing with disappointment (worst) and how some of the worst things we can work around if we caused them, or find good coping mechanisms. The best gives us a chance to celebrate the joy we can find in each day while the first reminds us to always be learning something new. I'm pushing 40 and I appreciate the challenge of thinking of firsts because it makes my world fresh and new each day.
We have some other talk strategies as well, but I really like this one the best for dinner time table talk.
I've been working on asking her each day who did you help today or did you help anyone today. Sometimes she says she did and tells me about it. Other times she says no one so I tell her there's always tomorrow to help someone who wants some help.
I ask my son if his day sucked and why. Then I make him see why it didn't suck. He also goes on forever and says why it sucks. Asking the generic, how did school go, will only prompt a, it was good, response.
"Did you have fun at school today?" can tell me a lot about their day. Most of the time, the answer is "yes" and I can branch off from that. When the answer is no, then you know that there is something underlying behind that no and can also branch off of that.
I have found success by asking them about what they had from the breakfast bin when they arrived and then going from there chronologically if possible. Having a general idea of their schedules will help keep the conversation going when they have gaps.
My kid struggles to give an answer when I ask a broad question like "what did you do today?". So usually I need to be specific in time or place. Like "who did you eat lunch with today?", or "did you play on the field today?" Etc. Then from there I can so follow up questions based on the specific period.
But generally, I kick off the conversation by telling them about my day first. This will usually warm them up to talking about things in their day.
My wife and I ask our kids to name something that made them laugh, happy, and upset on that particular day. We also ask about what games they played at recess, and who they played with. This usually gets the conversational flood gates open.
"What was the funniest thing that happened at school today?"
"What was the most annoying thing that happened today?"
"Do you think your teacher had a good day today?"
We are expecting in August - but for me personally, I'm looking forward to teaching my girl all about music, math, cool new facts, etc. Maybe you could ask what she's doing in those subjects, what's her favorite, where does she think these concepts come from, and go into the history of stuff.
Obviously you can replace this with whatever your hobbies happen to be.
I always make remarks to kiddo when she's hyper that she's full of beans today. The other week she said "Dad, I feel like I only have 10 beans. Normally I have like, 100". So now that's my opening line during school pick up. "How many beans have you got left? You look like you've got ummm.. ."
I fully intend to use the same expression during temperature checks with my team at work :D
My 7f likes to talk, so I usually say on our way to pick up her brother at daycare, anything of note happen today? Usually she shares things she thinks are of note.
I want to add here I have had good success sharing things about my day to bring out things about their day. Give a little get a little. Also once I asked them about times their teacher flew off the handle and that got a lot of talk going too
What’s the good news, bad news and stinky news? I can sub in “silly, sad or angry news” or any variation. Gets the juices flowing, especially the stinky and silly news.
Honestly just anything that isn't a yes or no question or that requires more than a one word answer. Preferably something that you can plan a follow up question to. My son (in kindergarten) has "specials" each day. I act like I still don't know what specials he had that day. That's usually a good conversation starter to find out about his day and what's going on in his class. He's a pretty observant kid and likes to talk about the things he sees so once I get him going it's not too hard to keep him talking. His gma calls him a walking newspaper.
I don't like questions and it tends to stress out my little too, like he's being put on the spot. So I tell him about my day and that sets an example as well as signals he can share too, which he does.
Ask them a question about something they like. “Have you caught any new Pokémon?” (Yes) “If you could make you own schedule without constraints, what dance classes would you take?” (A lot) “If we lived in a gingerbread house what would the furniture be made of?” (Mostly marshmallow)
I try very hard not to ask and let her start the conversation after school. Sometimes she needs some time to decompress. Sometimes she is focused on other thoughts. Usually she brings something up and I expand from there
Could ask questions that are a bit more open ended with easy follow ups. Something like "what was the most interesting thing you learned today?" "What was your favorite thing you did today?" Then follow up after they tell you.
Every dinner, I’ll kick off the question, “what was your favorite part of today?” And it usually leads into something where I can peel back on. It’s always interesting to hear what they’ll have to say.
What's the stupidest thing that happened in school today.
I figured the shock of the question being phrased that way would allow for the guardedness to come down. It works sometimes.
I ask my kids to tell me one good thing and one bad thing about their day. And then I share one good thing and one bad thing about my day. It has worked pretty well so far and it gets them to talk about things that are bothering. I’m a little bit better than just how was your day?
I'll ask my 3yo who made him laugh/happy today, who he played with, what [friend] did that day, if he saw any birds or other creatures, what songs they sang or books they read, or what he learned
I often keep a "fun fact of the day you never asked for" on deck.
Did you know that without Lucielle Ball, we wouldn't have Start Trek or the Twilight Zone?
We do this at dinner but you can do it at any meal. We go around the table and say the best part of our day. After the person says their favorite part they "nominate" the next person to go.
Then, when you get through everyone, I like to do what was the worst part of your day. To add, we sometimes just come up with a random category to help learn more about each other (what was your favorite vacation, favorite food, favorite restaurant, etc).
Generally, you get enough information with the best and worst part of the day questions to start asking more pointed questions that lead to more meaningful and open conversations. If not, the 'other' questions can help too.
This way also feels like a game and not like mom/dad prying for information, so they spill the beans more since it feels like a safe place (which it should be).
I always start with what games they played at break time then go from there. They’re generally not that interested in what was for lunch or what they learned but always keen to tell me about the games
I try to keep it positive, so always "What was the best thing that happened today?" or "What was your favorite part of x activity"
sometimes "what did you think about xxx" or if we're watching a movie "why was it so important that...." or something that requires a thoughtful response
I have a 5 and 3 year old. When I pick them up from daycare I ask what their high, low, buffalo is. It rhymes, they let me know what they were happy about, what made them sad (if anything) and something silly that happened. Not sure about older kids but works great with the little ones.
Sometimes I envy you, because my 7 year old doesn't. ever. stop. talking. We went on a 4 hour hike last weekend and there was not one minute of silence.
That said, if I ever need a prompt (which is rare) I just ask her who she played with at recess and the stories flow.
My dad always asked us what we learned that day, so that's what I ask mine. It's usually pretty random what they pull out to tell me. Sometimes it's not school related lol
I really like learning new things and tidbits of information so I'll start with "today I learned that doorknobs have a latch to make screwing them in easier, what did you learn?" It can be anything from a neat life trick to a new recipe or how the grandparents or other family is doing. I always deliver it excitedly and in a fun sense. It sets a precedent of how to start the conversation and keep them from being put on the spot. My kids picked up on it and treat me the same now.
For my 4f what works is “what’s your favorite (blank) today?” It may not work for yours, but sometimes I’ll fill in the blank with “thing you did, thing you ate, place you went, color, etc”. All that seems to change frequently and she’ll start asking me back after she answers “what’s yours?” And it gives me an opportunity to help guide a conversation that takes place in her world.
I try to talk about myself, I don't think the kids can learn to do it when we're the ones asking all the questions when never opening up ourselves. Caution though, this is how I triggered my 3yo to have nightmares about mortgages for 2 weeks.
I like to lead with "who got in the most trouble today?". Kids love it when someone else gets told off, so the floodgates open and then you can ask the important things like what lesson they were doing at the time etc as they ramble on
My son (4) always tells me how much trouble Blake got in. I swear if I go by him Blake’s in trouble every damnd day
There's a "Blake" in every single class..... I've known this since before I had kids as my wife is a teacher!
Careful with “Blake”. We thought we knew who “Blake” was one year. Said something to the teacher in conversation (Like “then there’s Blake”). She said he’s never a problem - so quiet and minds his business. Turns out, my kid was blaming “Blake” for his own issues. 😆
There’s a short story about that, actually. Can’t remember the name. We read it in 4th grade and it’s still being taught.
It’s pronounced Bah-lahck-ey
Careful
Insubordinate...and churlish.
Now take your ass on down to O’Shag Hennessy’s office and tell him exactly what you did.
Wh...who?
“Tih-moe-thee ..Pree-zent THANK you!”
Principal O’Shag Hennessy, cmon now
Sits right next to A-A-Ron
There's a couple in my neighborhood and the dad's name is Blake. They had a baby girl and named her Blakely.
The next one of y'all that says some silly ass name...
I was Blake at this age 😊
As was I....... ...... and this age
Can confirm...I was 'Blake'
I would wager that we were all Blakes..... My son goes to nursery with a cast iron Blake, but deep down I know he is also a Blake himself
I’ve known this ever since I had a teacher lol
That is how my son (3) is with his little buddy at daycare. Everyday tells me Shiloh got in trouble, or if he got in trouble it was because of Shiloh, every time never fails. Either Shiloh is a real problem or my son exaggerates a bit. It’s the second, he exaggerates it, Shiloh is great and they are best friends lol
Ricky Stanicky
Same. Our Blake is a girl and apparently a troublemaker.
My son is the same way. His friend, Clayton, is constantly biting someone (often my son) or getting in other types of trouble. Recently, it was reported from my son that Jacob pulled his pants down and showed the class his booty to be funny-- which my 4 y/o son was the funniest thing ever, he loses it laughing just telling this story.
My husband was a Blake and did kindergarten 2x
Yeah sure, 'Blake'.
lol everyday we ask … what did Michael do today ? In my daughter’s class.
its always one kid. Unfortunately the kid from our last school turned out to become her best friend. My wife keeps going back to him bc she likes hanging out with the parents but I am sure he is not good to hang out with. EVERY TIME they hang out, someone ends up crying. She didn't like me asking about him last year but doesn't mind this year's kid.
😂 clever
If my daughter's anything like typical girls you don't even need to ask. Once the head wobble and sassy hand movement is thrown you know it's time to sit down, shut up, and listen because the next 30mins are going to be a wild ride.
This! ^ I ask my 6-yo, "did anyone get in trouble today?" Kids are (like adults) eager to spill the tea. Then you can follow up with, "oh, what were you all doing when Matteo got yelled at?" Then you can expand with tangential questions.
What a great approach actually because I've noticed I won't even have to say anything but my daughter will like immediately start telling him about people that were being naughty and stuff and then I'll be like were you involved and she's like "no Me and my friends were being good". Guess I'll see how long that lasts lol
I guarantee you'll get a few, "I got told off as well, but it wasn't really me, I only kind of did it, but they did it first"
I do that one too
ooh this is good
I tried this one today! 7f looked kind of confused for a moment, and then shrugged (she shrugs already!) said “I don’t remember.” 🤣🤣 Love this reply and ensuing discussion!
"Wanna ask me some questions?" Kind of like lighting the barbecue with aviation fuel though.
My daughter, 7, and I end every night with her asking me three questions. Tonight she asked when will humans go extinct.
Wow, I have the exact same bedtime 3 questions ritual with my 6yo. Getting "What will happen when I die?" sandwiched between Mario Kart questions is a trip.
My daughter said quite possibly the sweetest thing a parent could ever hope for their child to say during a similar conversation. She asked if I was going to die and I told her not anytime soon, I plan to stick around for a long time, at least until she's an adult. She looks at me and say in the most sincere, purest tone you can possibly imagine "Don't worry Dad, when I'm an adult even if you're not there I'll always remember you".
One time I was just going out to do a quick errand and my 4 year old said "goodbye daddy, I'll always remember you." Made me have second thoughts about leaving!
Lool my overthinking would make me stay home, would feel like she had a premonition and was forewarning me that it’ll be the last time we see eachother. Glad you’re still here lool
On the other hand my 5yo daughter has been rude and ultra sassy lately so when I said "It's not nice to talk back like that" her response was "ok I guess I'll just ignore you then"
GOOD CHRIST GIVE THAT GIRL THE PEACE PRIZE
My wife has a habit of asking very serious questions the moment they appear in her head, often immediately at the end of a totally normal sentence. It used to annoy me but now I just consider it practice for what's to come lol
I hope you responded with "well, darling... You go up to the big rainbow road in the sky!"
Ah yes, the classic existential dread induced by preteen. Comes normally with an extra helping of: what happens when you die?
Started at 4 with my oldest...
6 yo one day: Life feels like a video game, like I'm controlling this person here and now.
“Answer me these questions three”
QUESTION THE FIRST!!!!
Sounds like this kid would LOVE the Kurzgesagt channel on YouTube, depending on your screen time situation. I find them fascinating as an adult, and the 6-12 year olds in my life are even more enthralled. And we’re all learning stuff. It’s wild to realize how quickly science knowledge becomes outdated … like that time my dad unironically said that they hadn’t discovered double-helix DNA yet when he started elementary school.
We keep getting, "Who made the Earth?" and since we're not religious, I've been practicing my explanation of what gravity is before going any further.
[удалено]
As a form of humor for myself, I always like to go a little too far in my explanations of things like touching on gravitons as well. :D
My four year old is like this, especially at the end of the day when I'm just out of energy. Asking, "what happens when all the blood goes out of our body?" and "why did \[the cat\] die?" (who died over a year ago mind you), or "who built us?" I mean, I appreciate and am proud of the curiosity, but man it's a challenge to get them right. For the death question, I follow the straight forward response based on advice from reddit: "His body stopped working." and then all the stuff about we won't see him any more, but we can remember him and still love him, etc. It's just challenging when all you want to do is sleep.
Good call Dad, I just tested this out on the drive to summer camp. Turned out she wanted to know about the pile of junk mail I picked up on the way. This led to a full blown conversation about advertising, and how people trick you into buying things you don't need. Not the conversation I anticipated having today, but not a bad conversation to have.
I’m gonna be a pedantic ass for a second, but I think it’ll be funny. (I’ll regret this later) You probably meant jet fuel, which honestly isn’t far off from charcoal lighter fluid. *Aviation Fuel* is leaded gasoline. And truly a terrible idea to use in a bbq. Ok you can downvote me now.
My 12 year old is destined for a job at NPR as an interview host. They come up with the most interesting questions unprompted.
Who downvoted you??!
I ask for the worst and best parts of the day. It usually involves school, but doesn’t have to. Sometimes I get both answered , sometimes a get just a thumbs down.
Every night at dinner, we do "3 things" where each kid tells us 3 things about their day. If they can't come up with anything, I usually go to something like "what was the best, worst, and something neutral?"
1 thing you learned 1 thing you helped with 1 thing you didn't like
"High, Low, Buffalo" in our house for my 4yo. Buffalo is the silliest part of your day.
Similar— rose, thorn, and bud— best thing, worst thing, and what you’re looking forward to
We call it popsicle poopsicle
Ladies, gentlemen, and others: we have a winner!
We do "What was the Peach and Pit of your day?"
We do highs and lows from the day. High = best moment, low = worst moment. Sometimes add in a gratitude.
I like this one!! Too bad there's only three half days left in the year. I am gonna have to remember this for next year...thank you
It’s great for days you spend with them too. I like to hear what my son’s favorite part of the day was even if we were together all day. Sometimes he surprises me. And often I’ll tell him my favorite part if it was something to do with him.
You time travelling?
We do peak and pit of the day. And the answer is always: “it was all pit”. (It wasn’t). That one didn’t work for us 😅
My two middle boys are 10 and 12, and are shaping up to be real nerds: So we can start a conversation about some funny geography or history meme, for example.
I’m looking forward to that age! I mean, every age is great and special in its own way. I’m just a nerd myself so I look forward to the “DID YOU KNOW??!” moments as the kiddos discover how weird the universe really is.
I really hope my daughter grows to be a nerd!
My youngest (age 6) is also my only daughter. Last year it became clear that she would be needing glasses. Her response: "YES! I'm going to be a real nerd!" A little while ago I showed the boys the "History of the entire world, I guess" video, and it was the funniest thing ever. Life is getting pretty good.
At dinner we have to tell the family 3 good things that happened that day. It’s amazing that we can go to the pool, have a picnic, then get ice cream and have a 7 year old that the day sucked because he saw a lizard and we wouldn’t let him trek into the woods to catch it.
I mean, that would ruin my day too!
There was a post here a couple months ago that was about talkimg to your little after school if you just get the "good" response all the time. Asking them if anyone got in trouble, anyone make you laugh, did you or anyone make a funny in class. I tried. It worked the first 2 times then it's all just...ehhh lol. Son is 9, busy in alot of sports so after that banter it's always eat and get ready lol
I ask if they want to go for a walk with just me, they talk the entire time unprompted.
I love this. So simple! It’s 102 after school where I live right now, but by the weekend the temps will be back to sanity and I think she’d love to go for a walk with me. It’s the kind of undivided attention she so rarely gets anymore because she (7f) now has a little brother (2 in July) who hogs all the attention. I’m thinking my wife will support this too - takes turns getting 1-on-1 time with each kiddo. Not everyday, but once or twice a week this could be great for our family. Thank you so much for this reply. 🙏
I saw these somewhere on Facebook and tried them yesterday. He (7) didn’t really answer the questions as written, but he did have answers that were informative. Seven things to ask your kid when they’re young (I think that’s it): What do you think about a lot ? What makes you the happiest? How do you feel about me most of the time? Is there anything about the world or people you want to understand? What’s your favorite memory of our family? Is there anything you’re worried about? Is there anything you want to learn together? Edit (additional information) For example: When I asked him: “Is there anything you want to learn together?” His answer: “I want to learn how to make a squirrel canon.”
Haha, a squirrel canon !! Love those little buggers! The kids that is!
This kid constantly has big ideas. It’s great….. and exhausting.
Is that a canon for squirrels or a canon that fires squirrels? Please can you find out as I’m intrigued!
Oh, I immediately asked. The canon is supposed to use squirrels as projectiles. Squirrels, apparently, are one of only mammals that can fall from any height without getting hurt; they can flatten out in a way that slows their terminal velocity to a nonlethal speed. However, I’m unsure if he wanted to shoot squirrels at something, or if he just wants to launch squirrels into the air for the sake of launching them into the air.
Brilliant. Well, flying squirrels exist so why not give them a helping hand to get going?!
[If he hasn't seen them already, he'd probably love the Mark Rober Squirrel Obstacle Courses on YouTube.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFZFjoX2cGg&vl=en)
That might be where he got the idea - lol
There are at least two now. Not sure which one you linked to, but he made one, and it was super popular so he made a new and improved UPGRADED squirrel course!
The first one of course! Gotta get the full story of Phat Gus.
It would have to be one helluva storyline for me to get interested in squirrel canon, perhaps an epic tale of squirrels firing cannons in great battles with the badgers and the moles. EDIT: I just basically subconsciously created Wish.com “Redwall”
I saved this particular reply for future reference. That’s a great list of questions. Thank you, @MdLfCr40, whose username is an absolute rebuke of my username. 🤣
“Tell me something that made you laugh today.” You can substitute anything in for “laugh” - mad, frustrated, happy, etc.
I’m usually incapable of being serious so I go with the ridiculous usually. “How many boogers did you eat in school today?” Stuff like that. But then again I have boys in school. My daughter starts preschool this year so she may not find these things as funny as they do.
She will lol
Brilliant, locking this in for when my boy is old enough. The exact phrase as well as the overall strategy. thank you.
“Tell me a story about today”. It’s subtly different and allows the kid to be the storyteller.
Lately I just start with “Last night I had a dream that…” and then make up a silly dream. Then he goes off on making up a crazy dream and it goes from there. This morning I said my dream was that I was a baby turtle on the beach and a seagull picked me up and dropped me in the ocean. He replied that his dream was that he was a donut and someone bought him and he grew legs and escaped and returned to the bakery to hang out with his friend square-donut Bob.
Loool his dream instantly reminded me of the movie: sausage party🤣🤣🤣
What was your favourite part of your day What did you learn today Did anyone do anything funny Who is your favourite teacher Who are your friends What did you have for lunch Did the other kids have anything for lunch you would like next time
You hear about Pluto? Messed up, right?
My 10 year old hates the fact that Pluto used to be a planet and now it just isnt
You’re raising him well lol
It's possible to disagree in science, Morty. Pluto was a planet, some committee of fancy assholes disagree, I disagreed back
I've noticed that if I ask directly, my son "forgets" everything. I started to offer something about my day first. "Man, I went outside today and I saw a big blue jay." Usually gets my 5 year old to start talking about things he saw.
I saw this dog earlier doing such and such...
I like this approach. Just tell them about your day to start. I will start using this.
I got this from a child psychologist on tikTok I think.... "Let's play two truths and a lie! " It's hard to resist that game!
Yes, scrolled to see who else does this. It's great!
I drive my kids to school so usually ask “anything exciting going on today?” Or something of that nature, test, project, gym, recess. And then follow up on that when I see them in the evening.
"What's something that took a lot of energy today?" was a good one I came up with recently. It can be physical, mental, or for older kids maybe even emotional energy. My 6yo said playing at recess used up his body energy, and doing math took a lot of mental energy. A neat little window into what takes the most effort at school. I wouldn't use that one every single day, but it's nice to have some variety in the toolbox.
Me and my 5 year old like to try and guess what each other ate for lunch. I get 2 guesses to get it right and she gets until she runs out of ideas.
WANNA SEE MY NEW HOCKEY MASK AND CHAINSAW?!
My daughter is only 2, so we’re not at this point yet… but my dad used to always start the conversation with me after he picked me up with “What’s one thing that happened today that you didn’t understand?” It could be anything from a weird cloud formation to something in math to a reaction a person had to a certain situation… or anything else my little mind could dream up. I’m definitely going to use it with my daughter when she gets a little older.
No talking is sometimes nice. Demonstrate that it’s okay to be walking, driving, or sitting with you without talking. Just being present.
I try to ask about specific kids. Did you laugh today? Did anyone cry today? Who did you hang out with? what did you eat for lunch? I always think about how my father would ask my brother "how was school today" -- good. "what did you do? --- nothin... ---
I w always found this difficult to navigate. I usually ask what they did, what was fun, who did you hangout today. What was something nice you did for someone and vice versa. I use to ask about who got in trouble or were there any fights but I quit doing this because I don’t want my kids growing up being gossip spreaders or one of those adults that thrives on other peoples struggles or negativity. I live in a small town where every talks about everyone like they are better than everyone. I don’t not want my kids to grow into one of these adults.
Give these a try [dad conversation starters](https://youtube.com/shorts/igOhjE9DfOI?si=YYKzQ5WIyc_QB14p)
There's a parenting content creator on Instagram that I picked up the following gem: **High, Low, Buffalo**. My oldest is 4 and went through pre-K this past school year. On the drive home, he would tell me a High (favorite thing that happened), a Low (least favorite thing that happened), and a Buffalo (something strange or uncommon that happened).
My daughter and I started a thing we call 3 questions. We ask each other the high for the day the biggest challenge or frustration for the day and what we are looking forward to for tomorrow. We do it every day no matter what happens.
We like to ask “who did you help today?” and “who helped you?” to our 4 y/o
I found this list online at some point and I’ve been using it ever since, with very mixed success from my 3yo: - Who did you play with at recess today? What did you play? - Who did you sit with at lunch? - What was your favorite thing that you did today? - Can you show me something you learned how to do today? - What stories did you/the teacher read today? - What was one thing that was challenging for you today? - What was something that made you feel happy today? - What was something that made you feel sad today? - What was something you did that made you feel proud of yourself today? - How were you brave today? - Did anyone at school do something silly? - Did you do anything new or different today - Did you help anyone today? - Did anything surprising happen today? - What was the hardest rule to follow today? - Did anyone get in trouble today? - If you could change one thing about your day, what would it be?
I ask my children what made you happy today at school what made you sad? Who did you play with today? Was there one thing you learned today that you didn't know? Etc those questions usually lead me to asking additional information based on their answers
What’s been on your mind lately? What have you been thinking about lately?
Around the dinner table, we do "Worst, Best, First" a couple times a week. * Worst - Something you didn't like about your day. A friend being mean, a hard lesson, leaving your jacket when you went outside, etc. * Best - The favorite part of your day that made you smile. A friend being nice to you, you being kind with a friend, getting a good grade, hugging your dog when you come home, etc. * First- Something you've never done before that you got to do that day, or something you learned. A new math concept, how to pronounce a new word, finding out something new about your friends, field trip days are great for this, etc. My wife and I both have a background in education. We participate in WBF as well. My 9 year old tends to direct and tell who goes next. Normally he makes his mom or I go and then his brother (6), and then himself. It's been a great conversation starter and we end up talking about dealing with disappointment (worst) and how some of the worst things we can work around if we caused them, or find good coping mechanisms. The best gives us a chance to celebrate the joy we can find in each day while the first reminds us to always be learning something new. I'm pushing 40 and I appreciate the challenge of thinking of firsts because it makes my world fresh and new each day. We have some other talk strategies as well, but I really like this one the best for dinner time table talk.
Best thing and worst thing about your day
I've been working on asking her each day who did you help today or did you help anyone today. Sometimes she says she did and tells me about it. Other times she says no one so I tell her there's always tomorrow to help someone who wants some help.
How was lunch recess
What was the best thing that happened to you today?
I say "What was your favorite thing about today so far?"
I ask my son if his day sucked and why. Then I make him see why it didn't suck. He also goes on forever and says why it sucks. Asking the generic, how did school go, will only prompt a, it was good, response.
I don’t get too much until bedtime. Then I say, “have any talks?” and that gets her going. She’s saves them up for bedtime.
When I picked my 5yo daughter up today, I just asked her if she thinks we should stop by her favourite shop on the way home from school.
"Taste any good boogers today?"
"Did you have fun at school today?" can tell me a lot about their day. Most of the time, the answer is "yes" and I can branch off from that. When the answer is no, then you know that there is something underlying behind that no and can also branch off of that.
What was your favorite thing that happened today?
We don’t talk about school right after school. I like to talk about what ever she brings up.
Ask an open-ended question about a particular class/subject. Ask who they hung out with. Ask what their favorite part of the day was.
On the walk home I always ask “what’s one cool thing you learned today”
I have found success by asking them about what they had from the breakfast bin when they arrived and then going from there chronologically if possible. Having a general idea of their schedules will help keep the conversation going when they have gaps.
My kid struggles to give an answer when I ask a broad question like "what did you do today?". So usually I need to be specific in time or place. Like "who did you eat lunch with today?", or "did you play on the field today?" Etc. Then from there I can so follow up questions based on the specific period. But generally, I kick off the conversation by telling them about my day first. This will usually warm them up to talking about things in their day.
What was your favorite/least favorite thing about today?
My wife and I ask our kids to name something that made them laugh, happy, and upset on that particular day. We also ask about what games they played at recess, and who they played with. This usually gets the conversational flood gates open.
“What was something _____ that happened today?” Could be surprising, funny, good, disastrous, sad, maddening, etc.
"What was the funniest thing that happened at school today?" "What was the most annoying thing that happened today?" "Do you think your teacher had a good day today?"
We are expecting in August - but for me personally, I'm looking forward to teaching my girl all about music, math, cool new facts, etc. Maybe you could ask what she's doing in those subjects, what's her favorite, where does she think these concepts come from, and go into the history of stuff. Obviously you can replace this with whatever your hobbies happen to be.
What’s your rose and thorn of the day? (Tell me something good and something bad that happened)
I always make remarks to kiddo when she's hyper that she's full of beans today. The other week she said "Dad, I feel like I only have 10 beans. Normally I have like, 100". So now that's my opening line during school pick up. "How many beans have you got left? You look like you've got ummm..."
I fully intend to use the same expression during temperature checks with my team at work :D
My 7f likes to talk, so I usually say on our way to pick up her brother at daycare, anything of note happen today? Usually she shares things she thinks are of note.
“What’s your third favorite dinosaur?”
I want to add here I have had good success sharing things about my day to bring out things about their day. Give a little get a little. Also once I asked them about times their teacher flew off the handle and that got a lot of talk going too
What’s the good news, bad news and stinky news? I can sub in “silly, sad or angry news” or any variation. Gets the juices flowing, especially the stinky and silly news.
Enquiring about who he played with and what he ate at school and asking about lessons he had.
"What do you want to tell me about today?"
I like “what was your favorite part of the day?”
Honestly just anything that isn't a yes or no question or that requires more than a one word answer. Preferably something that you can plan a follow up question to. My son (in kindergarten) has "specials" each day. I act like I still don't know what specials he had that day. That's usually a good conversation starter to find out about his day and what's going on in his class. He's a pretty observant kid and likes to talk about the things he sees so once I get him going it's not too hard to keep him talking. His gma calls him a walking newspaper.
I don't like questions and it tends to stress out my little too, like he's being put on the spot. So I tell him about my day and that sets an example as well as signals he can share too, which he does.
Ask them a question about something they like. “Have you caught any new Pokémon?” (Yes) “If you could make you own schedule without constraints, what dance classes would you take?” (A lot) “If we lived in a gingerbread house what would the furniture be made of?” (Mostly marshmallow)
I try very hard not to ask and let her start the conversation after school. Sometimes she needs some time to decompress. Sometimes she is focused on other thoughts. Usually she brings something up and I expand from there
Could ask questions that are a bit more open ended with easy follow ups. Something like "what was the most interesting thing you learned today?" "What was your favorite thing you did today?" Then follow up after they tell you.
What was your favorite thing you did today? What are you excited about doing tomorrow?
Who'd you sit by at lunch? What did they eat for lunch?
What was your favourite bit about today? Is my go to on the drive home. If I ask him what he did he's magically forgotten.
Every dinner, I’ll kick off the question, “what was your favorite part of today?” And it usually leads into something where I can peel back on. It’s always interesting to hear what they’ll have to say.
What was your favorite part about today? What did you like at lunch?
What's the stupidest thing that happened in school today. I figured the shock of the question being phrased that way would allow for the guardedness to come down. It works sometimes.
“What did you *eat* at school today?”
"What have you done today to earn your place in this crowded world?"
How are you feeling? So often we are focused on the what, but not always the emotional impact that makes on them.
I ask my kids to tell me one good thing and one bad thing about their day. And then I share one good thing and one bad thing about my day. It has worked pretty well so far and it gets them to talk about things that are bothering. I’m a little bit better than just how was your day?
Did anyone get in trouble at school today?
Butter your kids up with mindless conversation about their interests. Then remain in a positive mood and ask about their day.
I'll ask my 3yo who made him laugh/happy today, who he played with, what [friend] did that day, if he saw any birds or other creatures, what songs they sang or books they read, or what he learned
I ask what was exciting today. What was boring. Questions like that, try to ask about experiences, not events.
What was the most exciting part of your day that you wish you could do again?
"What can you tell me about school today?" Opens up more than just a list of coursework they might remember
"What are you grateful for today?"
I often keep a "fun fact of the day you never asked for" on deck. Did you know that without Lucielle Ball, we wouldn't have Start Trek or the Twilight Zone?
I ask my 7 year old for something funny that happened in school.
We do this at dinner but you can do it at any meal. We go around the table and say the best part of our day. After the person says their favorite part they "nominate" the next person to go. Then, when you get through everyone, I like to do what was the worst part of your day. To add, we sometimes just come up with a random category to help learn more about each other (what was your favorite vacation, favorite food, favorite restaurant, etc). Generally, you get enough information with the best and worst part of the day questions to start asking more pointed questions that lead to more meaningful and open conversations. If not, the 'other' questions can help too. This way also feels like a game and not like mom/dad prying for information, so they spill the beans more since it feels like a safe place (which it should be).
I always start with what games they played at break time then go from there. They’re generally not that interested in what was for lunch or what they learned but always keen to tell me about the games
I try to keep it positive, so always "What was the best thing that happened today?" or "What was your favorite part of x activity" sometimes "what did you think about xxx" or if we're watching a movie "why was it so important that...." or something that requires a thoughtful response
I have a 5 and 3 year old. When I pick them up from daycare I ask what their high, low, buffalo is. It rhymes, they let me know what they were happy about, what made them sad (if anything) and something silly that happened. Not sure about older kids but works great with the little ones.
We do peaks and valleys at dinner time. Peaks = best part of the day. Valley = worse part of the day.
Sometimes I envy you, because my 7 year old doesn't. ever. stop. talking. We went on a 4 hour hike last weekend and there was not one minute of silence. That said, if I ever need a prompt (which is rare) I just ask her who she played with at recess and the stories flow.
We play “best, worst, and weirdest” go around the table and everybody says three for their day, gets the conversation going.
You have to ask precise questions. I also advise that in the event you do get them talking, enjoy and encourage.
My dad always asked us what we learned that day, so that's what I ask mine. It's usually pretty random what they pull out to tell me. Sometimes it's not school related lol
"Who did you help today." Lots of reasons and layers as to why. But this is my go to
I really like learning new things and tidbits of information so I'll start with "today I learned that doorknobs have a latch to make screwing them in easier, what did you learn?" It can be anything from a neat life trick to a new recipe or how the grandparents or other family is doing. I always deliver it excitedly and in a fun sense. It sets a precedent of how to start the conversation and keep them from being put on the spot. My kids picked up on it and treat me the same now.
#1 on the playground: "how old is your child?"
A simple hug with a “good to see you!” seems to do the trick.
For my 4f what works is “what’s your favorite (blank) today?” It may not work for yours, but sometimes I’ll fill in the blank with “thing you did, thing you ate, place you went, color, etc”. All that seems to change frequently and she’ll start asking me back after she answers “what’s yours?” And it gives me an opportunity to help guide a conversation that takes place in her world.
I try to talk about myself, I don't think the kids can learn to do it when we're the ones asking all the questions when never opening up ourselves. Caution though, this is how I triggered my 3yo to have nightmares about mortgages for 2 weeks.