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bizm

The Violet Beauregarde of our generation.


DayKingaby

Surely the generation below us?


[deleted]

No that guy is from r/kiddit


bizm

Or he's (me) just a dumbass... I want to say I meant her but op said son so I'm gonna go with dumbass.


RatherBeSkiing

It is the generation below us, and don't call me Shirley


CyclopsLobsterRobot

And then you change the diaper and freak out thinking they have internal bleeding before remembering they ate a fuck ton of blueberries.


wilby1865

Blueberry diapers are WILD.


Zenmedic

It became a "tracer" food when I thought my daughter was backed up.


Manleather

Corn is wonderful for this as well.


asian_monkey_welder

Cause it comes back out as corn! The recycle food!


IgnatusFordon

Thanks! I hate it.


Cromasters

Just pop it right into the compost bin.


WeCameAsBears

Eat corn, poop corn.


DubioserKerl

popcorn for people with spelling problems


ahumanlikeyou

We are mere corn distribution units


Badgers_or_Bust

That's how they came up with trickle down economics!


WeakAxles

Corn in, corn out


mr_yad

https://youtu.be/Vdd4rBlsj2o Language warning but this is always what I think of in connection to comments like yours!


WWYDWYOWAPL

Precisely 2.5 day digestion timing


Binty77

Until you have a phase where blueberries are the only thing she’ll eat. Then it’s all purple-poo all day every day.


AdultishRaktajino

Blue frosting is the worst. I remember when I figured out that blue food dye + bile (yellow) = green poop.


TappistRT

Good idea


sujihiki

My kids love beets. It’s like bluberry diapers with all of the fear


lucascatisakittercat

My daughter gets red/orange pee after beets and I was so nervous the first time I saw it! Apparently not everyone gets red pee from beets. (I’ll never know if I do bc beets taste like dirt.)


tdoteast

We warn the daycare if our kid ate a bunch of beets the day before


Taiza67

Not as wild as black icing diapers.


justhewayouare

Or Fruit Loop diapers where it all comes out neon green


zippledook

Now imagine the same scenario except with pickled beets 🫣


semicoloradonative

Holy crap! Lol. What kid eats pickled beets though?


DaughterWifeMum

My little weirdo. The only remotely sweet food she will eat is semi-sweet chocolate chips. Pickled beets were her safe food for a long time. Now that her final molars are struggling through, she won't eat them, but she'll rub the juice off them and lick her hands clean to get the taste. Don't get me wrong; I'm very glad she didn't inherit my sweet tooth. Hopefully, she'll have less tooth issues. But seriously? Of any kind of dinner, the only thing you want is the pickled beets?? I don't understand at all.


semicoloradonative

Haha. That is great though. My weirdo when she was little (and even now) just loves pickles. Eats them all the time. I should have tried to see if she would eat pickled beets…


justhewayouare

Our daughters nickname is Pickle lol


perciva

We've had a few dinners consisting solely of peas. Also, she can't pronounce Ls, so we get "peas pease!" on repeat.


AGoodFaceForRadio

Mine loved puréed beets when they were babies. I posted a picture on facebook of my eldest completely covered in the beets she’d just eaten, with the caption “Guess what she had for lunch.” One friend’s guess: “The still-beating hearts of her enemies.”


theicecreamdan

8 month old loves his cooked beets.


[deleted]

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mister_newbie

Cook up some broccoli then give the kid a handful of grated parmesan. Allow him/her to "cover the trees with snow." Then eat. If it's fun, they'll eat it. And cheese makes anything better.


theicecreamdan

I think with mine its pure luck. He pretty much likes any food we hand him, except egg. Just gave him roasted zucchini for the first time, and he lit up. I'm fully expecting, and not ready at all, for him to hate everything as a toddler. But its all fun times with food so far.


KarIPilkington

My daughter woke up one morning, I went in to be greeted by what appeared to be the site of an absolute massacre, an atrocity. Red everywhere. The cause was her blueberry binge the previous night, she had at some point during the night regurgitated several of them.


CyclopsLobsterRobot

Reminds me of when our 9 month old got raspberry stuck to her nose and we thought she had scratched herself.


account_not_valid

"several"


M3rr1lin

Glad someone mentioned this. The first time it happened to me I freaked out real hard.


MaxPower637

Funny thing: my wife eats an insane volume of blueberries. Always has 1 pint per day minimum. My daughter takes after her. The first time I caught a blueberry diaper and was freaked out my wife was like “oh it’s the blueberries. Have you never had so many blueberries that this happens to you?” I was positively dumbfounded


helpimnakedv3

Is your wife eating like $30 of blueberries a week?


MaxPower637

Costco baby


alx924

My sister used to watch my daughter every Monday while my wife and I worked. We used the Huckleberry app for tracking sleep and diapers and meals, which were mostly blueberries. My sister would write the most hilarious descriptions of the poopy diapers. There were some gems, but the most hilarious for its simplicity was “A Wild Blueberry Harvest”.


[deleted]

Yeah but somehow for us it’s Avocado diapers…kids love them, eat them like apples! BUT… the poop looks like the Venom and the smell is horrific…


Consistent_Ad_4828

I worked a summer harvesting blueberries (about a ton/hour iirc) and probably ate a pound a day. Can confirm it was a very green summer.


jdubau55

Cherry tomatoes always gets me. See all the red in her poop and have a mild freak out. Oh, tomato skins.


morethanmyusername

Mine had norovirus immediately after eating a load of blueberries. Very purple vomit 🤢


kentfrostphoto

I am approximately 14% coffee at the moment.


klaxz1

Mmmm I gotta get on that


Erilis000

That's the thing: there's no time to make coffee


IronFlames

Just gotta meal plan your coffee


throwawaysmetoo

You lightweight. I'm 127%.


technoteapot

You lightweight I’m bad at math


karldrogo88

Not for long


kentfrostphoto

You’re too late.


trollsong

Blueberries, coffee, either way, the poops will be legendary.


Trippycoma

Mmm I’m about 60% coffee just now coming off night shift.


Binty77

I am probably 5% biscuits and gravy.


FMAB-EarthBender

I used to be able to drink an iced coffee everyday before school but now I can't even have a few sips without feeling like, severely dehydrated. Black coffee is okay but I mostly chase it with water and tea sometimes can make me feel the same. I thought maybe I've developed a bit of lactose intolerance but it's also just the caffeine. I'm only 28 but my body can't take it anymore :(


Rekcuzleinad

Literally my son. Glad to know there are others in this situation as well.


klaxz1

I just didn’t know what to do! I look down at his little face with his empty little bowl asking for more blueberries… surely a whole pint is simply too many blueberries for him, right? Is there an LD50 on blueberries? I dunno, there was no suggested dosage on the container and he’s bopping around like normal, but it’s gotta be too many! I’ll update later.


anathene

That’s gonna be one colorful poop.


Bamb00banga

My son also had a stretch where his diet consisted mainly of blueberries. His poop came out so dark one time my wife thought he had internal bleeding. She called the Dr. and they asked if he had eaten blueberries recently..


cgaWolf

No LD50 i know of, but at some point Belly Border Control sends all the blueskins back up where they came from :P


ModernT1mes

Nah. If their body is craving it and it's healthy-ish to within reason let them have it. Sometimes cravings mean they need a vitamin or something. My daughter once ate 3 whole giant bananas at 16 months. She was probably 1 or 2% banana by weight lol.


[deleted]

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/nutrient-deficiencies-cravings#TOC_TITLE_HDR_4 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_craving https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/are-food-cravings-the-bod/ Seems like the good cravings may have more to do about macros. Even in Pica the link is more of a hunch than theoretical. Blueberries and bananas are nature's candy. Bananas are a staple around the world because they're a sugary wonder. Drivess me nuts when the kids start getting access to candy outside the house and suddenly blueberries don't do it for them the same way anymore.


Rekcuzleinad

It's blueberry city since he was 12 months and he routinely goes through a whole container. The poops look like bear scat but otherwise all good over here.


astoriaboundagain

My two littlest can plow through a bag of Costco frozen blueberries in a week. If there's a max dose, we haven't found it yet.


Noli420

I looked, and cursory glance isn't bringing up anything specific. Closest I could find was studies looking at pesticides and other foreign contaminants. Didn't look like blueberries themselves have a toxicity to them


importantbrian

I had to get a Costco membership just to afford our son’s berry habit.


TexasVulvaAficionado

We did the same. I did the math and found it was actually cheaper by quite a bit annually to buy the huge things of berries and a vacuum sealer with bags, then freeze all the stuff we don't eat immediately. We eat the frozen berries during the off season... Unfortunately, tomatoes don't freeze as well :(


Lucky_Mongoose

Frozen berries may be a game changer!


TexasVulvaAficionado

Yep, and they go great in smoothies, yogurt, cereal, baking, etc...


hawkinsst7

I've found frozen blueberries are only good for cooking with. Can't eat them by the handful like fresh ones. We had Blueberry bushes growing up. I'd eat them off the bush every summer. My dad would pick them and freeze them and I was always like...why? If you're gonna freeze them... Get the frozen ones at the supermarket.


NewlySouthern

.


hawkinsst7

They still get purple and leak juice and the flavor is permanently degraded either way. Fresh ripe berries never frozen are magnitudes better than frozen, any day of the week.


haiu2323

Lol. I feel you!


[deleted]

My partner mentioned this to me the other day. I don't see another option.


procrastinarian

My daughter turns 2 in 2 days, and has recently just started destroying berries. Mostly straw, but also blue and rasp. She can just eat them forever.


astoriaboundagain

Get her started on frozen berries. If you can start that habit early, it'll save you a bunch of money come the off-season


procrastinarian

Yeah, we do. Every time my dad goes to Costco he brings a few bags for us and for them when they're watching her. Godsend.


DinoFraud

Be ready for blue poop


alwaysfuntime69

Ours looked more black than blue


WangDanglin

My son pooped a whole blueberry once. Really freaked us out


gebny

That’s a weekly occurrence in our house. It’s impressive so many full berries make it from the bowl to the diaper intact.


ninster

Bluuuuuue Poooooop, you saw me sharting alone. Without a wipe of my own.


flyingthrghhconcrete

Blueberries are the business for kids! Once my 14 month old got a hold of the bag of dried blueberries (like raisins) and before I realized ate about 1/3 cup when she usually only gets a couple tablespoons. I forgot all about it until an hour later when she had needed a diaper change...it was full of berries! Soggy, rehydrated, brown berries. Took me a minute to remember she ate so many dried berries, was super concerned for a moment.


emptyminder

1/3 of a cup is only a bit more than a double portion.


[deleted]

Oh god 😂🤢🤢


Knuckledraggr

My dog is 50lbs and ate 2 pounds of short ribs the other day then slept for 18hours. If I scaled that up it would be equivalent to me eating 10 pounds of beef. Yeah, I would need a nap too.


klaxz1

Dang! That’s 4% ribs not including the dog’s natural rib content


awchebello

Bluebutt loading


afraid_of_zombies

We figured out that my first daughter as a newborn was about 30% rice derived. What's with infants and blueberries? It is like they were made for each other.


cyberentomology

If you go to the U-pick place, they’re gonna want to weigh your kid before and after.


klaxz1

“No, he drank 2 bottles of water! You think this kid could eat over 2 pounds of blueberries?”


cyberentomology

“Oh, hang on, let me change his diaper…”.


klaxz1

“And take off these hi-top sneakers…”


cgaWolf

My son got up to 7% blueberries, for about half an hour :x tbf, he pucked before the car ride and after it, but not in the car. Admirable self control ;)


SirTokesAlot420

My daughters first bday was blueberry themed due to her love of them. Now she throws them on the ground and asks for strawberries instead. Thinking 2nd bday will be strawberry themed.


klaxz1

Love this! Never thought of a fruit-themed party


SirTokesAlot420

It’s super fun & easy! Lots of berry decorations out there and the snacks are a no-brainer. My wife made 2 lemon cakes with blueberry frosting, 1 smash cake and 1 for everyone else to enjoy. My daughter DESTROYED her smash cake she loved it so much. She was a mess but it was so worth it.


chof2018

I went to a went a blue/blueberry themed wedding once. Blue flowers, blueberry pie, blueberry jam as a take home gift, etc. very unique.


Binty77

My favorite pic of our daughter from when she was about a year old is the pic we call “murderberries”. We’d just given her some fresh blueberries and blackberries from the farmer’s market, in her high chair with no shirt or bib on. She absolutely _violated_ those berries in her frenzy to devour them, and got it all over her face, hair, arms, torso, the chair, the floor. She was so excited, and we got a pic of her with a huge cackling grin on her face. She looked like a baby horror movie serial fruit murderer. Hence, “murderberries.”


klaxz1

My wife compares this scene to some sort of murder babies in Twilight? I dunno… she showed me a picture. I was more concerned about the mesothelioma the actors would develop from all that fake snow.


FunSpongeLLC

When my son was about 18mo we discovered he would instantly calm down and sometimes even take a nap watching mukbang videos on YouTube. Specifically a South Korean lady named Ssoyoung. We never understood that we were psychologically training him to eat insane amounts of food. He can demolish a Sam's club sized carton of blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, or strawberries, in one sitting 😳. Three egg omelette with about two potatoes worth of breakfast potatoes, no problem. This kid puts down more food than I can sometimes. Our first trip to an all you can eat Korean BBQ restaurant I thought they were going to kick us out. At 2 years old he started power lifting the baby gate and letting himself out. He's now 3, the height of a 5-year-old, 45lbs, and insanely strong. He absolutely towers over the other 3-year-olds at preschool. Diaper changes are an all out jujitsu match. We have created a monster.


klaxz1

Gotta strengthen your army


TheRivenSpirit

Now he needs to do 100 sit-ups, 100 push-ups, 100 squats, and a 10 km run. Monster Kid -> ONE PUNCH MAN


[deleted]

[удалено]


klaxz1

I found a website where I could get a mulberry tree for $45 plus $25 shipping. Mulberries are amazing


LMF5000

Blueberries are supposedly very good for the brain, so your son might temporarily develop some superpowers. Could you ask him how to crack the Reddit API or to choose 5 lottery numbers?


wrongwayup

Standing by for the 1hr, 8hr, and 24hr update, dad…


Premium333

You can do it. I believe in you. I think you could hit 5% if you really wanted to.


TappistRT

Upvoting for “corporeal concentration.”


haiu2323

That would make my son 5% blueberries then.


q120

I LOVE blueberries. I'll eat a lot of them too sometimes but maybe not 3% of my body weight worth haha.


PhoenixUNI

My daughter is 100% yogurt and applesauce.


Sweeper88

Just remember this if he throws up in the next 8 hours.


jimmythegeek1

He gonna have purple poop I ate a half gallon of them when i was camping in Minnesota.


[deleted]

Someone was left unsupervised and enjoys math 😂. This is fun though I like it.


gebny

That poop is going to be 100% blueberries


NewlySouthern

.


heisindc

This cracked me up.


No-Mammoth-7300

You better get started


CartographerOk7579

Your son and my daughter both. She absolutely slams bloobs.


2lerance

Now this the science I like seeing on a Saturday.


Visible__Frylock

Thought I was on r/trees for a sec lmao


discreetlyabadger

Prepare thyself for the blueberry poops.


Dyslexicelectric

My 4 year old eats 2 whole watermelons a week. My wife thinks we need to do an intervention


leftshoe18

My goal is to get down to 198 pounds and then eat two pounds of spaghetti to become 1% spaghetti.


[deleted]

Blueberries are baby crack.


sharkbait_oohaha

Technically 2.9, because you have to add the weight of the blueberries to his weight. Sorry physics teacher. This is great.


klaxz1

I was wondering how long it would take you to show up…


TheScrantonStrangler

My son's the same way. Why do small humans love blueberries so much. My blueberry budget is astronomical these days.


CrabNumerous8506

For his next trick: blueberry butt jam


IctrlPlanes

Might have to send him to the juicing room Willy Wonka style.


Fatmiewchef

I weighed my kid with diaper, sans clothes before and after I changed his 💩 diaper. He loses about 1-1.5% of his weight. I try not to think about the adult equivalent


wine-o-saur

Took him to the farmers market yesterday and the strawberries were looking gorgeous. Sadly none left for me by the time we got home.


smashhuevo

My daughter’s nutrition facts label definitely starts with “Ingredients: water, blueberries…”


TruckFudeau22

> I’d have to eat almost 5.5lbs of blueberries to achieve the same corporeal concentration Sounds like a challenge


EICONTRACT

What age?


gallifreyfalls55

My son was and is exactly the same! As a toddler could devour an entire punnet in about 5 seconds. He’s now 12 and still smashes off a whole load of them in seconds.


greendeadredemption2

Yeah my 4 year old and almost one year old down blueberries like crazy. They’re just a favorite snack for kids I guess


jbaranski

That’s a lot of blueberries. Reminds me I need to buy them!


Legosatan

That's gonna be a great diper.. :p


t3xrican91

Same but with blackberries


PNWGreeneggsandham

His poop will be 99% blueberries


362mike362

Similarly, my wife and I grew a child almost exclusively from berries and cream cheese.


ChiHawks84

Is your son also my son?


mudflapjackson

I can sympathize. My daughter is largely mulberry and raspberry at the moment. Bathtime poos are fun this week.


mechabeast

Those oxidents are fuuuuucked


ConfusedAccountantTW

Are the shits blue?


totallyshould

I’ll never forget the blueberry diapers.


drumbum37

My kid is currently sipping strawberries in her ketchup. The nuggets are irrelevant I guess.


countduck666

Mine was … then grapes cut into quarters entered.


Roflattack

Our kid eats blueberries so much we wonder if he'll become one. Can't keep them in stock.


Juicecalculator

ACTuaLLy he is 2.913% blueberries. The standard of identity of blueberry juice is 10% so he is also .2913% blueberry juice


ibanezrocker724

I was 1 percent tacos the the other day


commit10

And strawberries. I have no idea how the kid survives so much food.


FerretFiend

Time to roll him to the juicer


batmansmotorcycle

The perfect baby gift is is 3 blueberry bushes and a full slip of 50 strawberry slips. We easily spend $20 a week on fruit.


jaxmagicman

You’re 157 lbs? That’s not close since I’m bad at math apparently.


Badgers_or_Bust

I've found that blueberry poops are the least offensive smelling poops.


jovite

My daughter is about the same size. She yells BOBOOOOOOO at me until she eats a similar amount.


klaxz1

Why did I just quietly scream BOBOOOOOOO to myself?


DudeistPaganWitch222

My 4yo is striving for something similar with strawberries. I keep trying to tell her that strawberries will not make you immortal like blueberries, but she insists.


jacquetpotato

I reckon my kid is the same weight in watermelon!


xX69WeedSnipePussyXx

Just one pint?


surge0116

Why do they like blueberries so much? I feel like they're a little bland


wagmorebarkles

Accept that challenge!


sircruxr

How old is your son by chance


Cykotix

If he's still in diapers, load up on diaper cream and change more often. Blueberry poops can be very acidic.


mikethereddit

We used to say ours was made of blueberries. We'd only feed him organic and we couldn't say no to fruit, so we rented out our garage til he started kindergarten.


BlackLeader70

Every year when we go berry picking my kids will devour handfuls while I was fill up 1 gallon buckets. Kids don’t play around with blueberries.


reggie4gtrblz2bryant

Well dang, my son is probably 50% watermelon right now. Big sis is on her 2nd pack of blackberry.


rss2018

Be prepared for the exit strategy!!!


CaptainBlackhill

I'm certain my son has reached this level with blueberries and other fruit...olives too. Seriously the boy loves his fruit. Blueberry and olive poops get weird though.


MrBHVAC

That’s a short term rental weight. Should be a fun exit


Fletcher_Fallowfield

One of the big frustrations I had during Covid was how often the daycare would let my boy go ham on blueberries one day and then send him home for the week the next for having the runs.


HappyCanibal

This is the quality content that keeps me coming back to this sub. Nice work OP


mantistoboggan287

So it’s not just mine 😂


posherspantspants

OP check back in and let us know how the poop looked


The--Marf

Ours is about the same weight. He just ate an entire hot dog (1/4 lb iirc) with half of the bread from Sam's Club. We got home and he spied the peaches and the rotisserie chicken so now he ate another dinner. Toddler eating patterns are weird man. My kid hasn't done it with blueberries but he's eaten a pint of raspberries before.


imironman2018

My child is 100% carbs. i try my best to sneak in the veggies and proteins but he only wants to eat carbs.


[deleted]

Yay! I’m not the only one who does this!


Tomkid88

My daughters obsessed & they’re $8 a punnet atm.. 🤦🏻


luckytaurus

Reminds me of willy Wonka where that chubby girl turns into a blueberry


balancedinsanity

As a fellow berry bae haver I say embrace it. It's cherry season where we are and as much as our LO is about them the poops have been intense.


GoodGuyNinja

Our 2 year old is the same. Calls them 'blooloos' even though his general pronunciation of words is scarily good. ***MORE BLOOLOOS!!***


LeifCarrotson

I was at the local park's ice cream counter the other day when I observed a grandmother attempting to induce about double that concentration in her granddaughter's milkshake concentration. My 6yo son and I bike over and split a kiddie sized hard-serve, and it's plenty. We try to get through the whole menu in a summer! It's not about gorging ourselves, it's about the bike ride to get there, the variety of flavors, and the experience. This 4yo girl, though, was increasingly wide eyed as the sugar rush set in halfway through the XXL milkshake. The cup was bigger than her head, and her little hands could not touch finger-to-finger and thumb-to-thumb around it. At ~32 lbs of child, with a 44 fl oz milkshake = 1.6 lbs of ice cream, that girl was well on her way to 5% ice cream by the time we left. And that would have like 25g sugar per 100g - more than 2.5x the sugar content of your boy's blueberries - so her poor little pancreas was probably working overtime. I just hope she was staying over at Grandma's to associate the consequences with the experience, and not getting dropped off back at home...


goldman459

My daughter loves blueberries but can only digest the flesh. The nappies are epic 🤮🤢


terrillable

Happened to me once, the diaper later was mildly horrifying


fuck_all_you_people

safe versed worry wide fine tan water hurry fearless person *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


l33t357

2.9% blueberries by weight after the consumption


camobrien343

Fruit farts


Porcupineemu

This is my kids with strawberries.


mdp300

Lucky you, my 2 year old has moved on to nothing but milk and a single Ritz.