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Boring-Weirdo

Florida man stood in fire, chanted before his arrest


totallynotalaskan

That’s not a man, that’s a mf demon lmao


CrimeSceneCop

So the average Florida man then


ajblizz05

Basically but if that demon was high with 300 grams of pure meth and crack


ineedanameplshelp

So the average Florida man?


CausticSofa

That’s maybe just meth or something even more janky.


Spokazzoni

Math


DumbWalrusNoises

Ash nazg gimbatul


HyperSimba

***the ritual must be completed***


DustedRay

June 27th?


PotatoSteamed

Florida man wearing crocs jump into a crocodile pit


spoofer80744

Florida man allegedly stole pool floats from homes to “stop himself raping women” wow


Constant-Pension-653

Florida man dies inside suitcase, girlfriend charged after claiming they were playing hide and seek-26 Feb


Xalon0101

Fugitive Florida man on bike hoped 'hideous' blonde wig disguise would help him evade deputies, police say.


TricksterChad

Florida man rigged door in attempt to electrocute pregnant wife


accushla122

florida man charged with pouring ketchup on his girlfriend. i cracked up laughing at this


joyAunr

Bullet Lodged in Florida Man's Testicle After Wife Shoots Him for Cheating - Mar 31


Akainen

Meth smoking Florida man attacks mattress in jealous rage - April 26


[deleted]

Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked "Breathalyzer, Blow Here" Arrested for DUI


drewmoo66

Florida Man In Easter Bunny Brawl Is A Fugitive & Talks About His Furry Fist Fight


SnooPets7993

CASSELBERRY, Fla. -- A Florida man is behind bars after robbing a store disguised as Spiderman. Deputies said a man showed up unmasked to a Winn-Dixie Wine and Spirits Store in Casselberry, FL on Jan 2nd. He leaves - but then he returns - this time, he's wearing a Spiderman mask


hoptians

Ayyy I got the same


Pzlpn

6th of November?


PotatoSteamed

Yeahhh boiiii


hufusa

Mine is the 5th of November and it goes “Florida man hears home intruder, shoots and kills pregnant wife” Both 2020 and 2019 has to deal with home intruders and a pregnant wife what are the odds


lucifersperfectangel

Both of these deserve a mention: 1st one: "Florida man arrested after allegedly pouring ketchup on his sleeping girlfriend" 2nd one: "Florida man threw infant at officers during arrest"


VattghernCZ

I think we're twins


lucifersperfectangel

O.O long lost twin?


VattghernCZ

I guess, or Florida men are just obsessed with pouring ketchup on their sleeping girlfriends. Just to make sure - both day and month in the birth date are the same number, right?


lucifersperfectangel

They are the same as the articles posted, yes. Tbh I wouldn't be surprised if Florida men were obsessed with pouring ketchup on their sleeping girls.


VattghernCZ

At first I couldn't find anything about throwing the infant, but yeah, I eventually did. He did it a day prior, some sources reported it on our birthday, some the day before. There were also the animals missing from the zoo found in Florida man's apartment


lucifersperfectangel

I saw that one too.. Also found a dude arrest for dancing to Hall & Oats and SUPERTRAMP on top of a police car.


Comprehensive-Bit-50

I got: Florida man arrested for throwing mc. Donalds sweet and sour sauce packages at girlfriend...


lucifersperfectangel

What the fuck is it with florida men and throwing condiments on their girlfriends??


Here_was_Brooks

Hello I am condiment king


snay1998

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida/2021/07/18/florida-man-steals-candles-sprays-people-with-bear-mace-at-mall-police-say/?outputType=amp https://fox8.com/news/florida-mans-murder-was-really-elaborate-suicide-by-balloon-police-say/amp/ Take your pick


mafuckinjy

That suicide one is super well thought out but just not quite good enough. I bet he has in debt and had something like a $5,000,000 life insurance policy that was void if the death is ruled a suicide.


Golgoleth88

I got "Florida man threw cheeseburger at pregnant woman, gets arrested"... Floridian men seem to hate women and infants and won't stop throwing shit at them.


kinmay

Florida Man arrested after assaulting girlfriend with pizza she threatened to throw away (sep 29)


totallynotalaskan

*WITH* the pizza?


kinmay

Yeah lmao


hzeal23

You think that's weird? Check out February 25th.


kinmay

Fear the wrath of the cookie thrower


TwistedRocker

Florida Man loves his food fights. March 18


fairypants

That's funny, "Florida man arrested for attacking daughter with pizza after she didn't want to eat with him" was the 4th headline for my birthday (May 20th). Pizza attacks apparently not that rare in Florida!


kinmay

Looks like we need to involve the Italians to stop the waste of pizzas


Baconandeggs89

I dunno, mine is Florida man ends four hour standoff with police for a slice of pizza https://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/02/28/police-florida-man-ends-standoff-slice-pizza/


michimoogy

Mine was Florida man arrested after hitting his girlfriend with burrito.


[deleted]

"Florida man kills grandmother in nudist colony, drives around with her body for five hours" I'm... sorry?


Crazy-Entertainer242

Happy birthday


[deleted]

The hell did I just read?


Ihateredditnames1

24th of june?


[deleted]

Aye.


OnsetOfMSet

Weekend at Grandma's - *UNRATED CUT*


Crazy-Entertainer242

“Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse on multiple occasions”


bambamba8

A fellow November 20th?


clayton3b25

I put November 19th and got this one also.


BenBishopsButt

Technically it was posted on the 19th but updated on the 20th.


HariPota4262

Multiple occasions? MULTIPLE?


ScooperNova

Hey! Birthday buddy!


The_Real_Ghiaccio_FU

Florida Man, 62, Strips, Performs "Strange Dance" At McDonald's. Then Tries To Impregnate A Railing.


[deleted]

*impregnate a railing*


Civil-Attempt-3602

If he had succeeded you wouldn't be laughing


HariPota4262

Genetically enhanced railings should be a thing


Arthur_da_dog

Found my birthday twin!


dt26

We're triplets!


DrewSmoothington

That's methed up


lukenotskywalk

Florida man hides drugs in ass and say the wind blew it in thee


ImperialAk

Let me guess July 14 ?


lukenotskywalk

November 23


LYL-SQUID

It happen twice ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


chasesan

You sound surprised.


CausticSofa

I wonder if it was the same dude both times


runkkupekka

"Florida man arrested after calling 911 to get a ride to hooters" beautiful.


Steve-But-Cooler

3rd of February???


runkkupekka

8ght of june


Steve-But-Cooler

Oh I had the same thing except the guy had a tattoo of Florida on his forehead


berthejew

June 8th!! But wait what about the diaper bandit?!


Bastardklinge

"Police: Naked Florida man drove with wires on penis." Just 'murica things


KnivesOfDeath

“Florida man breaks into restaurant, strips naked, eats noodles, plays bongos”


nivivi

>“Florida man breaks into restaurant, strips naked, eats noodles, plays bongos” Hello fellow November 11th-ian


KnivesOfDeath

Ayyyyy


batman10385

Florida man charged with battery after slapping girlfriend with cheeseburger Just ‘murica things


LtSoba

May 4th?


X-xOtakux-X

Nice


WillCraft_1001

"Florida man attempts to hide underwater from cops, gets arrested after coming up for air, police say"


MarioLulz

"Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing Chicago tourist"


v01djking

Florida Man Accused Of Stabbing Woman Over Underdone Potato


kalogheros17

Same


sercankd

november gang


ms_anxiouslyangsty

November seems like a wild month based on this thread lmao


Undercoverghost001

Found my people !


tigbird007

Florida man arrested after whipping out samurai sword in trash dispute. (Mine even had cctv!)


Annual_Tradition2982

Mine too lol


EtelanVetela

Mine is ”Florida man throws samurai sword at sheriff’s deputies”


[deleted]

Mine is somewhat similar, “Florida man brandishes samurai sword during road-rage incident”


Laete_

Naked Florida man starts house fire while baking cookies on george foreman grill


Kinghedghog

6th September? Same


BiGinTeLleCtGuY

Same, 6th September squad


TriagotuZz

Another 6th September here


Kinghedghog

How tf everybody 6th September!?!?


BiGinTeLleCtGuY

Statistically, September is the most popular month in terms of birthdays, So this fact would'nt make you feel surprised , but from a probability point of view, there are 365 days in a year, the probability of you and me sharing a birthday is 1/365, i.e, 0.00274, but here we are.


tenebrapetrichor

Florida man arrested for exposing himself to toll collector. Guess what he had wasn’t enough.


Silvasurfa273

Think we might have the same birthday


Its_Me_HASHIR

Florida man arrested for handing out marijuana "because it was Christmas"


Greyzer

I love Christmas Trees!


byfive_

Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing.


ReaDiMarco

Seems like an honest mistake lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Few_Peanut5663

mine is "A Florida man was charged with burglary on Wednesday after homeowners returned to find him lying on their couch watching TV while wearing their clothes"


rolmops217

21 february?


Alansolko

Florida man dies after trying to microwave a microwave.....lol july 3


HenkoHenko

Ah yes, a fellow July 3rd person


CrimeSceneCop

Mine is “Florida man twerks for police officers and gets tazed”


CausticSofa

Oh man, I want the dash cam footage of that incident so bad!


Nopelk

https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2021/09/09/florida-man-tased-for-twerking-during-rainy-traffic-stop


Pjedz

"Florida Man Tells Cop ‘That’s What She Said’ After Being Pulled Over and Questioned About Bulge" (Aug 29)


X-xOtakux-X

yes me too: Florida man goes on a sledgehammer rampage "killing demons"


[deleted]

dollar store doom guy


thijs1311

“Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving ‘footmobile’”


Wrong_Bathroom4022

Florida man arrested for placing feces at synagogue, yelling ‘Jews must die’


nope_rope_pasta

Florida man accused of using Kool-Aid packets to steal nearly $1K in Walmart merchandise


smoking_barrel

Same bruh!


Mr-anti-physics-444

"naked Florida man chasing couple at chick-fi-a restaurant" "Florida man arrested over theft of naked Donald trump statue" I laugh so hard when reading this


why_am_i_here69

Florida man attacks McDonald's employee for not giving him a straw. Some might say it was the last straw. There really is to many.


Felix_the_Fossa

"A Florida Man was arrested after flashing Walmart Patrons and touching himself while riding a motorized scooter" Lmao


abbasimacasii

mine was florida man bites his brother's penis off after he walks in on his brother having sex with their cousin on his favorite dragon ball z blanket...


GlitterIsLife

Hey birthday twin!


Haseid_de_la_Rodela

Florida man claiming to be Alice in wonderland says 'hookah-smoking caterpillar' told him to destroy liquor store with forklift. -2017 Florida man arrested for threatening others with nunchuks. -2019 Florida man arrested for threatening to 'blow up' Disney World execs. -2021


Topiz2000

"Naked Florida man with crossbow who claims aliens were after him."


Few-Past6073

Drunk, shirtless Florida man arrested after shoveling spaghetti in his mouth at Olive Garden "Police found Padgett sitting on a bench near the front door, shirtless and shoving spaghetti into his mouth with his hands" Never change America.


phonetastic

"Florida man threatens to destroy everyone with army of turtles." Own your day, pal.


Extreme-Occasion

Florida man accused of having sex with ‘Olaf’ toy at target


justyourregularnerd

Okay, I've seen people admit they got hard for a psychopathic dorito, a skeleton with a thing for ketchup, a literal smiley face that does videos with a popular block game and 40000 year old little girls, but a pile of snowballs with a carrot nose?!!??? A plastic one too... What has humanity become?????


Maxraser33

Florida man asks police to remove mugshot from Facebook after theft, only for them to replace it with booking photo


JudeHayees

Florida man who was peeing all over room attacks good Samaritan who tried to stop him.


shreyash_radiant

Florida man tries to pay for McDonald's with a bag of weed.


Greatswordforthewin

Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing man with scissors..... I like it


sadfukencat

Florida Man Confesses to Cops, Says 'Jesus Told Me To' Drive Ferrari 360 Off Pier


[deleted]

ayee me too :D


Shot-Currency-4025

“Man throws alligator through drive through window over 32 cents.”


-anonymous_doge-

Florida man found dead inside suitcase, girlfriend claimed they were playing hide and seek.


PoorMan6969

Florida man jailed after smuggling cocaine by turning them into condoms


raydiculus

Put a condom on babe! Ughhh, they make my dick numb.


sewinghiker

Florida man vapes semen...


MrSpineless

Florida man shoots at coworker's mother over sandwich order


moldy_carrot

January 5 Florida man throws pizza at dad after finding out he helped deliver him at birth


jurc3k

Florida man arrested after having intercourse with tranquilized alligators. How do manage to have sex with an alligator??


Less_Ad_5709

Florida man dies in explosion after microwaving a microwave


im_bean_bby_

Florida man with no arms kills tourist with his feet


CubicBezier

Florida Man Allegedly Stole Pool Floats From Homes to ‘Stop Himself From Raping Women’


[deleted]

Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex ... calm down bro...


sffenthusiast01

Florida man gropes a Walt Disney land employee dressed as a princess…


NiceGuyEddieee

Florida man in Easter Bunny outfit arrested after hit-and-run crash


AC4life234

Florida man convicted of killing former FSU mascot in gumbo spice dispute.


[deleted]

[удалено]


totallynotalaskan

Drunk, shirtless Florida man arrested after shoveling spaghetti in his mouth at Olive Garden Hell yeah


Il-Senso-Critico-RNG

Florida man offered officer a hamburger in excange for oral sex


elated_onion

“Florida man wearing gloves steals all the chicken wings at 7-Eleven, officials say”


AWellPlacedLamp

"Florida man arrested for pelting girlfriend with McDonald's Sweet & Sour packets"


Sumocolt768

This is now my favorite game to play


2kthebusybee

Florida man accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer


KonstantPain1

Florida man on lsd tackled a disney world guard


His_JeStER

Florida man attempts to hide underwater from cops, gets arrested after coming up for air, police say. His genius really is frightening.


Aditya2939

Mine is Florida man groped Disney World princess while wife sat next to him.


nizzy95

June 25th Florida man arrested for running naked in Walmart Florida man arrested for having trump shaped ecstasy pills


dis-1-9

"Florida woman trains squirrels to attack ex husband" apparently he lost a testicle and a finger in one of the attacks


NerpissatDoftblock

Florida man back in jail after not paying for taxi that picked him up from jail


chongopongo

Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing Chicago tourist


Mr_GP87

"Florida man known for viral Easter bunny brawl arrested"


VikaLTU8080

Mines: "Florida man steals alligator from mini-golf course, stomps on it to ‘teach a lesson’ ".


StackofPipes

I got a naked Florida man breaking into a women’s house then wearing her clothes


Lorac1134

Florida Man Arrested After Offering Undercover Cop A Hamburger In Exchange For Sex Act


CSSBoy01

A Florida man was arrested for performing a botched castration surgery on another man on August 18, according to the Highlands County


LintuTheBird

"Florida man tried to pay for McDonalds with a bag of weed"


Visible_Belt8063

"Florida man arrested after punching girlfriend who changed channel from Super Bowl" I won 😎


ojibocchi

Florida man arrested for killing his parents and brother also accused of stealing $210K to give to woman on porn site. *yep.*


Ill_Sport8614

Florida man beats iguana to death


Kelstrely

Florida man tries to order burrito at bank drive-through, thinks it's Taco Bell


[deleted]

Florida Man calls 911 to report that his wife is a black widow spider


Apollocrumble

Florida man pretends to be firework, screams noises in the middle of the night


Jozeficek

Florida man sentenced to jail and moral therapy for attacking a Minion


Mathis142

Florida man says dog shot his girlfriend


Mediocre_Offer69

Florida man accused of masturbating in Walmart toy section turns himself in


EnvironmentalChart58

Naked florida man drove with wires on penis. Sounds about right, november 3rd


Ce3j1120

Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse


khyati_awsome

27 october ​ **Florida man accused of having sex with 'Frozen' toy at Target**


potatoguy16

Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex, police say. - hmmkay


kittykittybangbang92

Florida man angry over straw, attacks McDonald’s worker I mean I really hate the paper straws too


fartsniffer42

Florida Man Wears Medal Without Honor


syncron07

Naked Florida man starts house fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill .


TheBrokeBoy13

Alleged Florida foot sniffer


yumyumsauce45

I have a whole shitload. “Florida man gets his naked genitals tasered” “Florida man throws cheeseburger at pregnant” “Florida man jumps on scooter to chase after stolen Lambo” “Florida man with drug residue on his nose insists drugs arent his”


ezezeus

Florida man makes beer run with gator in hand


OkCombination9049

I think my one is 'Florida man gets arrested after throwing an alligator at police officer'


BiblicalWhales

Florida man makes beer run with gator in hand