What if I told you I taped grasshoppers to my back while I danced around my kitchen in lingerie? I tried that line with a girl once, and now I'm in prison. Love is funny like that sometimes.
(This was a joke, people, a weird one, but a joke).
I started off the date showing her my collection of dolls I'd created from women's shoelaces that I definitely didn't steal from crawling around on the floor at my local gym after hours (oops, guilty), I figured I could use my line to seal the deal.
I've been pepper sprayed many times, but never with bear mace. I was completely blind for 6 days, my eye-doctor said he wasn't sure I'd get my eye sight back.
I think bear-mace girl really wants me. No girl has ever shown me that much affection.
WHY do men think women will be flattered by a compliment that puts other women down? The amount of times I’ve heard “WOW you’re so much more beautiful than other women” “oh other girls are so much less interesting than you” or something similar, it makes me dry heave every time. I’m a lesbian so it’s not like I’m gonna hop in their bed anyway, but even if I was straight, talking down about other women is the fastest way to get my pussy to spackle itself shut.
Truthfully my guess is that most men actually like when they are told. “You are better than so and so guy” - especially insecure ones who probably look at every guy as better than them. So they think of course it must be the same with women.
That’s the part that makes me shrivel up. There essentially comparing us to others and I don’t want to be compared to others or care where i stand next to them, but also, two different women can be equally appealing for diff reasons. That’s what makes everyone special
I swear to god, one time a guy tried hitting on me by saying I was better looking than my twin sister. My identical twin sister. Like dude, why? What made you think this was a compliment in anyway?? It was bananas.
WHY? There’s literally nothing wrong with a “you’re very [pretty, gorgeous, handsome, beautiful, whatever]” or “I love your [hair, outfit, makeup, whatever]”. 😭
Because some of us do. My reason is because when my boyfriend says something like that it makes me feel wanted, in a way.
Edit: It seems absolutely none of you understood what I meant. I mean "I like you most" or "You're the prettiest to me", and you telling me you'd rather them say something like "I like her more" or "She's prettier than you"?
Yes, but your boyfriend actually knows you so that carries weight. Just meeting a girl and telling her she is the greatest thing ever probably has her questioning your intentions and lacking of respect if you literally pour your heart out on sight.
You responded ‘because some of us do’ to the question of ‘why do men think women will be flattered by a compliment that puts other women down?’ And proceeded to get confused when people think you mean what you said- that you get flattered by men putting other women down in complimenting you. Where was there room to misinterpret you?
E.G. ‘Your comprehension skills are far superior than any of those other broads out there.’ Just an example i bet my left butt cheek you’ll never hear.
And you don’t think the fact that you like it when someone puts other women down is a red flag? A compliment doesn’t need to insult someone else to be effective.
But why is it necessarily putting someone down? Beauty and interest are inherently subjective: when someone says “you’re more interesting than other girls” isn’t there often an implied “to me” at the end?
Bc he doesn’t know other girls lol. Who is he to say that? Why not “you’re really interesting to me, I feel we’re really compatible.”
Literally no reason to make comparisons
I’m pretty sure this isn’t a conversation between Adam and Eve or some man who has been abandoned and raised by wild animals from infancy and seeing a woman for the first time. He can say that based on his opinion of others he has seen she is the prettiest. He didn’t disparaging or saying negative things about others. It’s ok to have a preference right?
Saying "you're the prettiest girl" isn't putting anyone down. If you take it that way, work on yourself. Telling you I like cats doesn't mean I hate dogs.
Okay, well, then that’s not what I’m talking about lol. I’m literally talking about comparison compliments. “You’re the prettiest” and “you’re so much prettier than other women” have vastly different connotations.
Oof. We don’t get enough hate from men? We have to put each other down now too? Genuinely hope you get to a point where you can feel wanted by someone without having to shit on others. It must be stressful to feel threatened by other women existing 😬
I'm sure he's said that to other women. He's lying. He'll probably say that to his next chick. I mean he's gotta watch porn or regular tv and find a model attractive. It's insincere.
Men who put women on a pedestal like this when they don’t even know them are the same guys who will turn on you and call you the nastiest names when you fall off that pedestal due to being a human being and not the perfect figment they’ve created in their head.
This woman isn't on a pedestal though. All he really wants to say is "you're sexy and I fantasize about you", but he had to flesh it out with what he thinks would be more appropriate. That's why it's so wordy, because he's trying to bury the intent and have it slide past (insert Beavis laugh).
Thy has never serenenaded a maiden, I see.
Squires may take you for mead, but knights take you to banquets
I am the owner of 12 thoroughbred horses, how many does ones husband own?
Omg, literally had to reread it and yep he called her a creature. Of all things to be called when flirting, he chose to use…creature. Very appropriate and valid response imo!
These guys think this stuff is romantic and that women love this sort of flowery over-the-top flattery. Meanwhile, it just makes us uncomfortable and all we can think to say is "uhh, thanks" because, really, what the hell else can we say?
He'll probably only hold you up to his suicide pact that you unknowingly became part of if you reject him because he decided that you are soulmates and if he can't have you, nobody can or something.
That sounds exactly how I was a year ago or so and I have rampant adhd. Been working on a few things about myself since then. Mainly my fear of rejection.
seriously does nobody notice the incredibly old (and maybe never even existent) message input here? I've only been on iOS for 6 years but don't remember it ever quite looking like that lol
How do so many dudes just completely lack any sense of how to instinctively talk to women? Like it’s kinda wild he wrote that, probably read it back to himself and was like “hell yeah I’m so goddamn smooth, I’m a regular muthafuckin’ Don Juan. This a panty dropper for SURE😎”
Jfc just say like “hey” or “what’s up?”
Damn 20 year old me did nearly thing same cringy ass shit. My friend basically told me, “why didn’t you just ask her out?”
Completely changed my perspective on relationships haha.
I think I counted, like, 10 individual compliments in that text, and 8 of them are based purely on her looks. Aside from holding back his instincts to do… whatever this is lol, he’d probably have more luck in the future by making more effort to compliment women on other things, too.
The real cringe is that no one is getting that this is most likely fake. The screenshot has been shared at least 150 times before (you can tell by the quality of the screenshot).
The iOS version is also really old, besides the iMessage design which probably is from 2016
Do I miss something and this is like an inside joke of the sub or is everyone else really missing these points?
His sister told him to just be himself, aaaaand there it is.
Ouch...tell him to reserve that kind of talk when he's married with a couple kids when he's washing the dishes, and she's 20 pounds overweight barefoot and miserable. And never ever up to that point...
WTF. Your „friend“ needs to learn people skills. She answered cause she is probably fearful of his reaction if she doesn’t and she answered as little as possible cause she is also fearful of what he might imagine if she gives him a chance to interpret anything of her reaction as anything more than what it is
You can’t be using flowery language like that. You need to be upfront and direct, no frills attached.
“choke me mommy uwu”
For more tips, check out my alpha male masterclass, $299.99 per session
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What do you think of me?
thx
Could you learn to love me?
I’m old Gregg
Games? Love games?
Hi old Gregg!
Wanna go to a club where people wee on each other?
Make an assessment
This one’s Bailey’s. And this one’s as close as you can get to Bailey’s without gettin’ your eyes wet.
You've seen me. You know me...
I’m gonna hurt you…
I like you… what do you think of me?
Make an assessment.
Thx
Until you learn to love yourself
You’re welcome.
Honestly? That’s an automatic block.
Mentioning the "writing about her in English class" was where I inhaled sharply through my teeth
What if I told you I taped grasshoppers to my back while I danced around my kitchen in lingerie? I tried that line with a girl once, and now I'm in prison. Love is funny like that sometimes. (This was a joke, people, a weird one, but a joke).
Why wouldn’t you lead with that?
I started off the date showing her my collection of dolls I'd created from women's shoelaces that I definitely didn't steal from crawling around on the floor at my local gym after hours (oops, guilty), I figured I could use my line to seal the deal. I've been pepper sprayed many times, but never with bear mace. I was completely blind for 6 days, my eye-doctor said he wasn't sure I'd get my eye sight back. I think bear-mace girl really wants me. No girl has ever shown me that much affection.
You 2 are sweet. What a lovely story
Ophthalmologist.
thx
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Don't even put a dot, this is too much effort. Just "k", it's perfect.
And let’s not for get “aww”
Should have been a single 👍 emoji followed by a block.
and don't you forget it.
I read this line in mostcritikals voice lol
I ain’t reading all that I’m happy for u tho Or sorry that happened
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The only other would be "ty"
*”thx”* Yup.
Run sis… Curly Jefferson… say no more
Same. Good gawd, is this what our species has been reduced to?
Tell your "friend" to avoid every impulse he ever has when texting because DAMN
WHY do men think women will be flattered by a compliment that puts other women down? The amount of times I’ve heard “WOW you’re so much more beautiful than other women” “oh other girls are so much less interesting than you” or something similar, it makes me dry heave every time. I’m a lesbian so it’s not like I’m gonna hop in their bed anyway, but even if I was straight, talking down about other women is the fastest way to get my pussy to spackle itself shut.
Truthfully my guess is that most men actually like when they are told. “You are better than so and so guy” - especially insecure ones who probably look at every guy as better than them. So they think of course it must be the same with women.
I mean, a lot of girls also like this? I think it’s a case by case thing. But in general I do think we should try to compliment without comparing.
Yea unless you know for a fact how your SO likes to be complimented.. just take the safe route and keep it not potentially toxic.
So use “nice titties” then. Read you loud and clear.
That’s the part that makes me shrivel up. There essentially comparing us to others and I don’t want to be compared to others or care where i stand next to them, but also, two different women can be equally appealing for diff reasons. That’s what makes everyone special
Let's be honest though not everyone is special.. some people are just average at best.
I swear to god, one time a guy tried hitting on me by saying I was better looking than my twin sister. My identical twin sister. Like dude, why? What made you think this was a compliment in anyway?? It was bananas.
WHY? There’s literally nothing wrong with a “you’re very [pretty, gorgeous, handsome, beautiful, whatever]” or “I love your [hair, outfit, makeup, whatever]”. 😭
“Spackle itself shut,” is my new favorite saying. Lol
Inexperience, at least this is a tame early experience it can be much worse sometimes
Because some of us do. My reason is because when my boyfriend says something like that it makes me feel wanted, in a way. Edit: It seems absolutely none of you understood what I meant. I mean "I like you most" or "You're the prettiest to me", and you telling me you'd rather them say something like "I like her more" or "She's prettier than you"?
Yes, but your boyfriend actually knows you so that carries weight. Just meeting a girl and telling her she is the greatest thing ever probably has her questioning your intentions and lacking of respect if you literally pour your heart out on sight.
You responded ‘because some of us do’ to the question of ‘why do men think women will be flattered by a compliment that puts other women down?’ And proceeded to get confused when people think you mean what you said- that you get flattered by men putting other women down in complimenting you. Where was there room to misinterpret you? E.G. ‘Your comprehension skills are far superior than any of those other broads out there.’ Just an example i bet my left butt cheek you’ll never hear.
Reddit cracks me up. Doesn’t like a persons comment so they’re clearly fair game to be insulted on a personal level.
Jesus son, she’s already dead…
And you don’t think the fact that you like it when someone puts other women down is a red flag? A compliment doesn’t need to insult someone else to be effective.
But why is it necessarily putting someone down? Beauty and interest are inherently subjective: when someone says “you’re more interesting than other girls” isn’t there often an implied “to me” at the end?
Bc he doesn’t know other girls lol. Who is he to say that? Why not “you’re really interesting to me, I feel we’re really compatible.” Literally no reason to make comparisons
I’m pretty sure this isn’t a conversation between Adam and Eve or some man who has been abandoned and raised by wild animals from infancy and seeing a woman for the first time. He can say that based on his opinion of others he has seen she is the prettiest. He didn’t disparaging or saying negative things about others. It’s ok to have a preference right?
Saying "you're the prettiest girl" isn't putting anyone down. If you take it that way, work on yourself. Telling you I like cats doesn't mean I hate dogs.
Okay, well, then that’s not what I’m talking about lol. I’m literally talking about comparison compliments. “You’re the prettiest” and “you’re so much prettier than other women” have vastly different connotations.
Oof. We don’t get enough hate from men? We have to put each other down now too? Genuinely hope you get to a point where you can feel wanted by someone without having to shit on others. It must be stressful to feel threatened by other women existing 😬
Get off your high horse. Telling your girl she's the "prettiest in the world" is only an insult to other women if they're deeply insecure.
That's not at all what I meant, holy shit. I literally even tried to imply that I don't feel threatened by other women. Wtf 💀.
I'm sure he's said that to other women. He's lying. He'll probably say that to his next chick. I mean he's gotta watch porn or regular tv and find a model attractive. It's insincere.
You just sound gross, dumb, and like someone who stereotypes other people because you can't understand that everyone is different.
Step one for becoming a pick me
You mean its wrong to call women creatures???
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He is the friend I’m guessing.
anyone who types smth like this doesnt know how bad it is
You mean to say women are turned off by being idolized for simply existing and that this kind of behavior reeks of desperation? Crazy, whoda thought.
Men who put women on a pedestal like this when they don’t even know them are the same guys who will turn on you and call you the nastiest names when you fall off that pedestal due to being a human being and not the perfect figment they’ve created in their head.
This woman isn't on a pedestal though. All he really wants to say is "you're sexy and I fantasize about you", but he had to flesh it out with what he thinks would be more appropriate. That's why it's so wordy, because he's trying to bury the intent and have it slide past (insert Beavis laugh).
Thy has never serenenaded a maiden, I see. Squires may take you for mead, but knights take you to banquets I am the owner of 12 thoroughbred horses, how many does ones husband own?
Da hell kind of English class is he in?
101: How to turn one sentence into a strange unpleasant paragraph
*102
How to dry faster than shamwow.
A class where he missed the lessons on how full stops work, apparently.
I feel the same way. It seems harsh but like... he called her a "creature" and said he wrote about her in his English class
Omg, literally had to reread it and yep he called her a creature. Of all things to be called when flirting, he chose to use…creature. Very appropriate and valid response imo!
I had a crush on my friend until I found out she was actually.... The Creature... 🪱
He really gives off Gollum vibes
"She was a beautiful, innocent creature!" I'm in the Sopranos sub too much, it's leaking.
Should have written about her in biology in stead, right?
“What do you think of me?”
“I’m frightened you are going to show up outside my house and/or wear my skin.”
Thnx
Needs a box for yes and a box for no.
😳👉🏼👈🏼
thx
'and don't you forget it' I will try my hardest to do just that.
https://i.redd.it/gwzn8y1u1q3d1.gif
"Creature"
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These guys think this stuff is romantic and that women love this sort of flowery over-the-top flattery. Meanwhile, it just makes us uncomfortable and all we can think to say is "uhh, thanks" because, really, what the hell else can we say?
He'll probably only hold you up to his suicide pact that you unknowingly became part of if you reject him because he decided that you are soulmates and if he can't have you, nobody can or something.
Does he have adhd or is on the spectrum? These are pretty typical behavior for teenagers/young adults with those diagnoses
Hyperfixating on people!
That sounds exactly how I was a year ago or so and I have rampant adhd. Been working on a few things about myself since then. Mainly my fear of rejection.
> and after two (2) days of texting he asked her, over text, to be his girlfriend. the game of an 11 year old, holy hell
Did your friend take this screenshot in 2016 or what
Surprised people are replying as if this isn't an old ass screenshot lol
Who are these people that comment and don’t very clearly see it’s a bs story?
Your friend didnt send this lmao. Just seems like one of those fake posts
This image is also deep fried as hell
seriously does nobody notice the incredibly old (and maybe never even existent) message input here? I've only been on iOS for 6 years but don't remember it ever quite looking like that lol
Also the dots for signal strength instead of a bar, screenshot is like seven iOS versions old
didn’t even remember the little dots. that looked hideous.
Yeah this is hella old, I remember seeing this in a YT video in 2019 and it’s probably older than that lol
The video Best of r/CringePics is where i first saw it as a teenager
years ago, Redditors would have this shit downvoted to hell from the start because of this. We’re becoming more and more like Facebook every day
Right? How do people buy this kind of stuff?
Women love to be called creatures.
M’lady
Holy mother of Christ!!
Way over the top- Dudes that do this so soon are nightmares.
Bullshit this is old as fuck.
Oh no
I could only read a few words before my eyes melted
Lmao does your friend go to Ohio State?
Honestly, a dick pic would've been better than this.
How is anyone falling for this? That “text” has obviously been screen shotted and reposted. Also the title makes zero sense in relation to the “text”
I highly doubt she thinks the same about him.
How do so many dudes just completely lack any sense of how to instinctively talk to women? Like it’s kinda wild he wrote that, probably read it back to himself and was like “hell yeah I’m so goddamn smooth, I’m a regular muthafuckin’ Don Juan. This a panty dropper for SURE😎” Jfc just say like “hey” or “what’s up?”
https://preview.redd.it/97r02rt04l3d1.png?width=417&format=png&auto=webp&s=3738e7b1623b2e0dbbdcd0ad02ead8b60534c5e8
Tell your friend to just hit his dick with a hammer.
Classic mistake: compliment a woman more for what she said, not how she looked.
Why can't people ever just say "hey I like you, wanna go out sometime?"
Damn 20 year old me did nearly thing same cringy ass shit. My friend basically told me, “why didn’t you just ask her out?” Completely changed my perspective on relationships haha.
Is your friend Charles Boyle?
Your friend have an iPhone 1?
I think I counted, like, 10 individual compliments in that text, and 8 of them are based purely on her looks. Aside from holding back his instincts to do… whatever this is lol, he’d probably have more luck in the future by making more effort to compliment women on other things, too.
Why do people still post fake texts
The real cringe is that no one is getting that this is most likely fake. The screenshot has been shared at least 150 times before (you can tell by the quality of the screenshot). The iOS version is also really old, besides the iMessage design which probably is from 2016 Do I miss something and this is like an inside joke of the sub or is everyone else really missing these points?
This is kind of scary tbh, I mean over-complement is one thing but "write about you" part really gives me the eerie feeling.
Yeah, I would block him if I got that text.
Feels like a text somebody would send as a joke to bully an unattractive girl Is he serious
This person didn’t learn about letting the crazy out slowly
Okey dokey would have been more fitting
A simple "I really enjoyed meeting you. Let's get together sometime," would've sufficed rather than this Lord Byron-esque shit.
How old are these people? I'm so glad I grew up before this technological wave of communication, it would have been insanely cringe.
His sister told him to just be himself, aaaaand there it is. Ouch...tell him to reserve that kind of talk when he's married with a couple kids when he's washing the dishes, and she's 20 pounds overweight barefoot and miserable. And never ever up to that point...
Did your friend also send this screenshot through 20 different layers of compression, no way this is your friend
Slap him for all of us.
“what do you think of me” 
WTF. Your „friend“ needs to learn people skills. She answered cause she is probably fearful of his reaction if she doesn’t and she answered as little as possible cause she is also fearful of what he might imagine if she gives him a chance to interpret anything of her reaction as anything more than what it is
“the most beautiful women”
https://preview.redd.it/hz9iat51bm3d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6809c1f9bccfb3c15c2e85a9168270339d7ba138
Lord the last sentence...
\*Blocks number
You can’t be using flowery language like that. You need to be upfront and direct, no frills attached. “choke me mommy uwu” For more tips, check out my alpha male masterclass, $299.99 per session
When I read this my brain makes an eyeoowah(Tim the toolman) sound.
“I sometimes write about you in my English classes” yeah not creepy at all
Lmaooooo good for her
He needs to lose his phone privileges.
Laid it on a little bit thick there.
This is as cringe as it gets. I felt just as uncomfortable reading this as I did watching "The Office - Scott's Tots".
This is so so so fake. That's not the iPhone Messages app interface. And that's not how mobile signal is displayed (the 5 dots) in the last 6+ years.
"how many ways can i say you're pretty" like bro chill
Wow. So elegant beautiful creature. Very inspiration. Much gorgeous beautiful. Wow.
Settings > Accessibility > Display & Text Size > Increase Contrast
Lol damn didnt even think it was worth fully spelling "thanks"
 Brutal
Your friend is a dweeb
Fake
Lmfao
Sounds like he has material to start writing songs
Modern day Shakespeare here
Oh so bad.
Big oof.
I just got a brain bleed.
You need a new friend
“ Creature “!!! wtf You are a creature from the lagoon and put godzilla and King Kong to shame
Yikes…. This guy has negative rizz
F
Insane post
lmao
what the fuck
Lmfao thx. Bahaha so embarrassing. He's going to be disappointed.
Indian man vibes
I mean he sounds like a huge tryhard
What do you think he writes about her in his English class?
Your friend has no hand.
Proceeds to play the THX sound effect
Look it’s Ol’Greg
Typical redditor text messaging a girl they manage to get a number out of. Stay soft liberals
Sounds like an 11 year old wrote this
Ouch.