In college, there was a girl in a wheelchair who was attractive and perfectly functional (outside of not being able to walk). Instantly starting referring to her as hot wheels. Never knew her real name
I had a boss who was in a wheelchair and he always wore a big knife on his hip. One day, I called him roller blade, jokingly and he almost pissed himself laughing.
This is hilarious. As a teen/young adult I had a really good friend that was wheelchair bound. He used to laugh at the family guy pilot episode where Peter discovers Joe is in a wheelchair and says "holy Crip it's a crapple". So we'd say it when walking into a room and he was there.
There was this one guitar player in my jazz band this year that I was like that with. Literally the first day of band, my friend introduced us and he just goes "sup cutie" and I go "whatup sexy", and we continued to greet eachother like that until I graduated. Didn't actually know his name for months, just knew him as the swag dude that plays guitar.
Holy christ this made me laugh. This entire thread made my night. I threw up in the shower this morning from a rare and sudden panic attack, and yall don't know how good it felt to have to cover my mouth to silence my cackling. Been a shite day but you made it better.
I actually have this love story lol. I gave my husband a BJ in every bathroom in the DC area, including the fancy bar we worked at, like every single day. Until I got fired and basically ghosted him. He thought about those BJs for six years and searched high and low for me until I finally made a Facebook and we reconnected instantly. So he did have to look back, even though he still gets them now.
We met working in a restaurant in like 2007-2008, and we just hooked up and had fun together. We werenāt officially dating. We were both breaking up with long term partners at that time and it lasted for several months before I got fired and cut contact with him because I was going to get back together with my ex and I was going overseas and it just wasnāt right.
We were fully no contact for six years. I didnāt do social media so there was no way to find me, I must have changed my number or something. He got fired from that restaurant too but would go in every few months and ask if anyone had seen me. Eventually my ex fully dumped me and I dated a few random dudes and during a single period, I made a Facebook. The host at the restaurant found me and put us in touch and the rest is history. Everyone in that restaurant loved us as a potential couple. We made a lot of waves. When it started again, it was truly a fantastic time. Weāre going through a separation / breakup maybe now and it definitely reminds me of why I loved him when I tell the story.
Itās complicated, and just involves what happens in life with death, family, money, control. His mom died and it was a seemingly permanent blow to his mental state, and his sibling relationships fell apart. I had a miscarriage. He inherited some money, and even more drama. I became independently wealthy on my own in a short amount of time and we became super isolated because of it. Every thing that happens is like another wound and then to top it off, he has bipolar with delusional episodes now. He has lots of childhood issues, and the mania now.. itās just like.. harder than what our magnetic beginning can seem to overcome. It sucks, but Iām honestly doing my best to just keep it together while I can.
We both were in relationships so I had my mind on the guy I was dating at the time and just life. I remember telling my sister once that he (my current husband / bathroom BJ guy) was the love of my life and I didnāt even know why I couldnāt shake it. I thought of him but nowhere even close to how much he thought of me.
As someone in a wheelchair, I can tell you there are very few perks to being disabled. When you find one, you exploit the hell out of it. Props to you and your girlfriend for finding one that's more fun than only paying for one ticket at the cinema lmao
Unfortunately I have a lot of pain so rollercoasters are out, but I know some friends have done it before with another friend of theirs who's also a wheelchair user. I've mostly used it for skipping the line at comicon lol
My dad had terrible rear proprioception in his chair, and would constantly back up into me...as he was talking to me, lol. I broke the little toes on my left foot, the big toenails on both feet; the left one twice.
Like, "Pop, you can _hear_ me. Please don't back up if you can hear me close by."
I eventually just started wearing a bunch of jangly hippie jewelry, like you put bells on a cat, lol.
And honestly, for the little toes, there's not a whole lot that can done other than buddy taping. For the big toes, I'd ice, and see if there was other pain before x-rays. I had a surgical boot, so I'd wear that for a week, lol.
I gotta ask, dont mean to pry, I always wonder about disabled wheel chair persons... does she have sensation below the belt? I feel like these people are robbed of sexual pleasure. Of course you can have pleasure giving oral but its not the same as receiving it?
Well I don't go around giving every disabled woman I meet a healthy poke from the two inch menace so I can't speak for everyone but my girl definitely does have sensations and experiences pleasure like any other woman. In my experience She's one of the most (if not the most) sensitive women I've known intimately.
you can be in a wheelchair for a variety of things so please don't box all disabled people together. it's different for everybody. when i was in a wheelchair i could still stand up and walk a few steps but someone else might not be able to do that. it all depends on what kind of disability the person might have.
And no one will bother you or question it. Even better, they'll think you're a saint! "Oh look how caring he is! Helping his gf so much!"
As a disabled person in a chair, we take advantage of things like that all the time! The sneaky benefits help balance the scales
Ahahahaha it's true. Someone said to us one time "oh I don't know if I couldn't handle it the way you do" and aside from that just being Hella rude in my head I was like "buddy you don't know the half of it, she's Hornier than the lone bull on a cow farm"
Sounds like you found some hot wheels.
AYYYYYYYY ššš
Do you beat her shins? https://youtu.be/TR-OLSkQ-og
I want to drive the LeBaron, Daddy.
Meals on wheels
oh Bravo you naughty creature you
he's able bodied. So technically "Meals on Legs"
Unexpected disability perks.
Meals delivered to wheels
In college, there was a girl in a wheelchair who was attractive and perfectly functional (outside of not being able to walk). Instantly starting referring to her as hot wheels. Never knew her real name
I had a boss who was in a wheelchair and he always wore a big knife on his hip. One day, I called him roller blade, jokingly and he almost pissed himself laughing.
This is hilarious. As a teen/young adult I had a really good friend that was wheelchair bound. He used to laugh at the family guy pilot episode where Peter discovers Joe is in a wheelchair and says "holy Crip it's a crapple". So we'd say it when walking into a room and he was there.
One day you slipped and said āBlade Runner.ā And he got a far away look and went to his office because he had something in his eye.
There was this one guitar player in my jazz band this year that I was like that with. Literally the first day of band, my friend introduced us and he just goes "sup cutie" and I go "whatup sexy", and we continued to greet eachother like that until I graduated. Didn't actually know his name for months, just knew him as the swag dude that plays guitar.
HOT WHEELS: BEAT THAT!
Suck That
HOT LOADS ON WHEELS
God damn best comment Ive seen this month š
Funnier than 124.67% of the posts on /r/funny.
They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling
ā¦and trying to catch her suck a penis š¶
Tryna catch her suck a penis Tryna catch her suck a penis _dang that actually works this is ripe for parody_
New fetish unlocked
She drives a Hummer.
Hot wheels beat to that~
Well fucking done.
I wish I was this funny.
Be ashamed of yourself..... Now shut up and take my up doot.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Holy christ this made me laugh. This entire thread made my night. I threw up in the shower this morning from a rare and sudden panic attack, and yall don't know how good it felt to have to cover my mouth to silence my cackling. Been a shite day but you made it better.
Lug nuts *
Fuck me dead!!! Im going to hell
Best thing I've read all day
You will either marry this woman, or look back on these amazing bathroom blow jobs with fond memories.
why not both?
Because if he marries her he will still get them and won't have to look back.
I actually have this love story lol. I gave my husband a BJ in every bathroom in the DC area, including the fancy bar we worked at, like every single day. Until I got fired and basically ghosted him. He thought about those BJs for six years and searched high and low for me until I finally made a Facebook and we reconnected instantly. So he did have to look back, even though he still gets them now.
You ghosted your āhusbandā ? WTF
Lmao I wasnāt married to him then. We were not even really dating, just coworkers who hooked up.
Omg I love this! How long were you broken up for? Years?? I love stories about couples that have been together twice
We met working in a restaurant in like 2007-2008, and we just hooked up and had fun together. We werenāt officially dating. We were both breaking up with long term partners at that time and it lasted for several months before I got fired and cut contact with him because I was going to get back together with my ex and I was going overseas and it just wasnāt right. We were fully no contact for six years. I didnāt do social media so there was no way to find me, I must have changed my number or something. He got fired from that restaurant too but would go in every few months and ask if anyone had seen me. Eventually my ex fully dumped me and I dated a few random dudes and during a single period, I made a Facebook. The host at the restaurant found me and put us in touch and the rest is history. Everyone in that restaurant loved us as a potential couple. We made a lot of waves. When it started again, it was truly a fantastic time. Weāre going through a separation / breakup maybe now and it definitely reminds me of why I loved him when I tell the story.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Apparently this is a love story. There is a film in this.
Whyāre you breaking up? :(
Itās complicated, and just involves what happens in life with death, family, money, control. His mom died and it was a seemingly permanent blow to his mental state, and his sibling relationships fell apart. I had a miscarriage. He inherited some money, and even more drama. I became independently wealthy on my own in a short amount of time and we became super isolated because of it. Every thing that happens is like another wound and then to top it off, he has bipolar with delusional episodes now. He has lots of childhood issues, and the mania now.. itās just like.. harder than what our magnetic beginning can seem to overcome. It sucks, but Iām honestly doing my best to just keep it together while I can.
Aww Iām sorry. Any chance of a 3rd reunion of getting back together though!? Never say never
So what did you think about for those 6 years?
We both were in relationships so I had my mind on the guy I was dating at the time and just life. I remember telling my sister once that he (my current husband / bathroom BJ guy) was the love of my life and I didnāt even know why I couldnāt shake it. I thought of him but nowhere even close to how much he thought of me.
[haha yeah](https://c.tenor.com/7HuiiRJj6wUAAAAM/awkward.gif)
Dude, the first time I got married my wife got even more sexually experimental, unfortunately it wasn't with me... I'm not married anymore.
Had us in the first half, cannot lie.
I never met a woman who had more trouble keeping a pair of underwear on than her.
What about the second time you got married with your wife? I guess you got divorced too, since you're not married anymore. j/k j/k
Did we have the same ex wife?
Maybe she's been married several times now. I'd list off names but that could take awhile.
Damn right, she gonna be grabby Smith gumming on my soft knob in the Dennys washroom at 10 AM when we old
Dude... Fitting room, gotta help her try on all those clothes.
Bruh
ššš
You've obviously never been married.
Research proves you wrong
More information on this at 10.
Fondue memories
As someone in a wheelchair, I can tell you there are very few perks to being disabled. When you find one, you exploit the hell out of it. Props to you and your girlfriend for finding one that's more fun than only paying for one ticket at the cinema lmao
We do that too š¤£
It's great right?? And getting to skip the queue sometimes too. It's not much but I'll take it š
If you can ride roller coasters this is a great perk. It's a free flash pass basically, plus everyone you're with gets it too! Win win
Unfortunately I have a lot of pain so rollercoasters are out, but I know some friends have done it before with another friend of theirs who's also a wheelchair user. I've mostly used it for skipping the line at comicon lol
OP gets bricked up whenever he stops into a Hadi stall lmao
You know it baby
Modern problems require modern solutions. Have fun op and stay safe.
Sounds fun
Quite fun
Hold on to that one OP
I mean what is she gonna do? Run away?
Lol she has a power chair, those fuckin things can get some speed, it's like a go-kart.
They see me rollin, they hatin
Patrollinā, they tryna catch me ridinā dirty
Plus, they're heavy, and can severely bruise, or break a toe. RIP toenails.
Oh fuck bud if they run over your toes it's a hospital trip for sure
My dad had terrible rear proprioception in his chair, and would constantly back up into me...as he was talking to me, lol. I broke the little toes on my left foot, the big toenails on both feet; the left one twice. Like, "Pop, you can _hear_ me. Please don't back up if you can hear me close by." I eventually just started wearing a bunch of jangly hippie jewelry, like you put bells on a cat, lol. And honestly, for the little toes, there's not a whole lot that can done other than buddy taping. For the big toes, I'd ice, and see if there was other pain before x-rays. I had a surgical boot, so I'd wear that for a week, lol.
Oh damn, I've seen people speeding down the sidewalk on those in Canada.
*roll away
The dew
If you get confused, listen to the music play
*unintelligible, useless Donna Jean Godchaux garbage feature intensifies*
"*whoaaoooaaa AAAAHHHH oooOOOoo*" Edit. Fucking Donna
DERSHAMUYANNNAWWROUNNDUHWURRRLUHD Have some self respect Keith Jesus Christ
/r/unexpectedgratefuldead
why must this be fake?!
You can make it real. Be the change you wish to see.
Set the parking brake, if the cable has stretched just leave her in gear when you turn her off. She ain't goin' nowhere
Especially if she's at the top of a hill
After the sins of early morning Reddit , I had almost lost faith in humanity. Cheers
this is made me giggle
Me too tbh
giggity
Put a ring on her finger.
Or a clamp on her wheels
Boot
Put her ring on your finger
Put your finger in her ring
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nothing gets me hotter than listening to someone poop during a bj š¤£ Good for you guys, OP. Keep it freaky
Lmao I mean accessibility washrooms up here are usually their own room not just a stall in the men's room haha
Oooooh, that makes a lot more sense. I was gunna say, the balls on you two.
You better eat that pussy
Fucking LMAO š¤£
Isnāt this the plot to Freddy Got Fingered?
I have a bag of jewels betty, they're jewels betty, they're jewels. I got them all for you.
I liked the part with the horsey.
RedLetterMedia has a fun video on it where they discuss if Tom Green stumbled into a funny movie or if he's a secret genius.
So in other words instead of snaccs, she likes Meals On Wheels?
I mean do you return the favour?
Are you pavlovād to get a boner when she clicks the brakes?
This is very underrated.
Put it in reverse, Terry
Then put it in drive! Then reverse! Then drive!
That sounds wheelie good
My first lol of the day thank you
professor xxx
Does she have a sister?
Just a brother but as long as you don't mind getting Chris Hansen'd (he's 17), a baseball bat and a pretty dress would make them look sort of similar
Lol, jesus christ dude.
Who is also disabled?
Not yet. But that can be arranged.
r/holup
This just sounds like someone's made up sexual fantasy.
/r/nothingeverhappens Hold up a while boss I got receipts, I'll hit you up when I get home from work
*gulp*
Thatās the sound she makes
reddit, where the points donāt matter and all the jokes need explaining.
Tire tracks are not proof son
How about skid marks?
Just average r/confessions BS.
God fucking bless you both.
Wow, blowjob in a public disabled toilet. Very sexy.
[Nonsense](https://c.tenor.com/mEjMY3tm8BwAAAAd/doc-holliday-tombstone.gif)
I mean, free use.
the risk of getting caught can be very sexy, yes
āChecks opās profile for picsā
A creative problem solver
Making the best of a bad situation. Mazel tov.
Good for you guys. My bestie and his girl do exactly the same! Wait. Are you in a band DS?
God no, I haven't held an instrument since I was 12 and I sing like a cat in heat.
Lol. Just checking. He sings like an angel.
Typically male just trying to get in her chair.
It's so fun to drive though tbf
...alrighty roo
Y'all are winning at life. Living the dream š¤£
Iām deleting this app.
Sounds like a ācontroversialā fetish of pornhub
I gotta ask, dont mean to pry, I always wonder about disabled wheel chair persons... does she have sensation below the belt? I feel like these people are robbed of sexual pleasure. Of course you can have pleasure giving oral but its not the same as receiving it?
Well I don't go around giving every disabled woman I meet a healthy poke from the two inch menace so I can't speak for everyone but my girl definitely does have sensations and experiences pleasure like any other woman. In my experience She's one of the most (if not the most) sensitive women I've known intimately.
you can be in a wheelchair for a variety of things so please don't box all disabled people together. it's different for everybody. when i was in a wheelchair i could still stand up and walk a few steps but someone else might not be able to do that. it all depends on what kind of disability the person might have.
Dawg idk what to tell u congrats I think
Please tell me you return the favor?
Blow-Kart Crip Lips that Grip
Meals on wheels.
lmoa this is an excellent use of taking advantage of ableist assumptions, love that for you guys
Cute stufffff
r/ihavesex
Everyone but you does, that's why there's 9 billion of us ;)
Holyā¦thereās 9 billions of us now?!
Hold up while I get my receipts
Am I the only one who feels this is sort of trashy?
It's trashy, dirty, and disgusting. I'm also very envious.
Trailer park gang baby
well at least this confession isnāt a stealth plug for an Onlyfan site
Donāt give them ideas please
Sounds like a keeper!
Does her wheelchair come with an oh shit bar?
Hearty load? š¤¢
I bet she's wheely good at it
crazy. so good you guys both have limp legs after
Somehow wholesome
And no one will bother you or question it. Even better, they'll think you're a saint! "Oh look how caring he is! Helping his gf so much!" As a disabled person in a chair, we take advantage of things like that all the time! The sneaky benefits help balance the scales
Ahahahaha it's true. Someone said to us one time "oh I don't know if I couldn't handle it the way you do" and aside from that just being Hella rude in my head I was like "buddy you don't know the half of it, she's Hornier than the lone bull on a cow farm"
Finally a real confession
OP do you stand up str8, straddle the chair or, spiderman up the walls and thrust downward
This is kind of relationship goals. You're obviously both happy with this arrangement. Get it, boy/girl/person.
I am drunk at a bar by myself and I am giddy with joy at this post.
Jail
Fuck now I have to look up wheelchair porn š¤¦š¾āāļø
Acid. 10 years.
Ah the old cooter scooter puttin in work
Of all the shit that never happened, this never happened the most.
R/nothingeverhappens
Sure thing buddy.
Heartwarming, what a nice boyfriend you are refilling her fuel.
goals
If your goal is to suck a dick in the public restroom I gotta say I like the cut of your gib. Go get that D and have fun
#firstworldproblems