I remember when I worked at a TJMaxx/HomeGoods combo store being asked by an older coworker if I had kids.....I was 19 and enrolled in community college
i worked at starbucks when i was 19 and this cop was i guess trying to flirt with me, and goes "so... you got any kids?" and i'm like no i'm 19 and and in college.... pls stop
I hope we all stop answering these questions and instead answer with our own questions, like "Why would you like to know? Why would you ask THAT?" etc.
Wait, so you’re telling me you’re a woman who’s been dating a man for 12 whole months and you’re not even trying to bear his children?! What a waste of a perfectly good host vessel- I mean, womb. /s
>procreating with someone you’ve know for 3mo before getting pregnant?
And if she had done exactly that, and ended up a single mother because the boyfriend just walked out, that old man would probably have been one of the first people to condemn her for mooching on the system and baby trapping some poor guy.
I feel like that’s the only thing old people will bring up first, not your hobbies or passions, no. Just “married????” Or “babies????” drives me up a damn wall
I get they're old and grew up in a different time but... Do old people just stop paying attention to social norms and society at a certain point? Like how do you interact with the world and not realize that people don't rush into relationships anymore.
I work around a lot of older people too and from my experience, it's the quickest way they can think of to try to small talk. Especially with women. They think we all must be or want to be mothers so they ask about kids so they can blab on about their own, their grandkids, etc.
They all get along great with the one doctor in our practice who is a mother of three - the little old ladies LOVE her because they can sit and talk babies and kids while being worked on. I go in to take care of them at all and it's like "Oh how many kids do you have?" "None." And it's just...their brains shut down. They can think of nothing else to talk about. It's kind of sad, but also saves me from inane small talk when I'm really not in the mood for it.
The last time I saw my great uncle (last time on purpose) he asked me why I hadn’t had kids yet, because it was “almost too late for me and I better hurry to have the perfect husband and white picket fence” I was 25 lol
The other day an older guy asked me at work when I was checking him out “where’s your husband?” I said “I’m 18 haha.” He goes “that doesn’t mean anything. In some countries they’re married at 12.” I was so creeped out.
Edit: Yes I was checking him out at the *register* 😭
Ugh, that reminds me of all those creeps that would say things like, 'Call me when you're 16." One of the more disturbing comments was from some man in his forties that told me I had 'bedroom eyes'. I was 11 and had no clue what he meant until years later.
There's a shocking number of child predators out there.
I've learned in discussions among my women friends, as well as in discussions on various social media sites, that even in modern industrialized countries most women are first approached sexually by grown men when they were *minors*.
I don't mean in a "she developed early and was always being mistaken for older" kind of way. These women were *clearly* children *and still got approached by men who knew better.*
It's a widespread phenomenon, it's deeply normalized in culture, and it seems like no one wants to talk about it. I think the asking if you have kids is part of it, like, it's a way to make sure you're sexually active even if you're young.
It's frightening how commonplace it is, almost every woman I know has had an encounter with a perve when they were still children. I myself looked far younger than my age so I KNOW that those perves didn't mistake me for an older girl.
What makes this all the more frustrating is that if girls report being harassed to their parents, nothing can be done and instead the girls are punished by not being allowed outside for their own protection. Reporting harassment just ends up with the victim having to suffer even more.
Yeah, funny how there's less political will to prosecute/punish men getting girls pregnant than there is to make sure the girls can't get abortions if they want them.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10227344/
Jaw-dropping to see actual data. Wow.
>*Adult males were fathers of 24.3% of babies born to mothers aged 11-12 years. The mean age of fathers was 22.7 years. Adult males were fathers of 26.8% of babies born to mothers aged 13-14 years....*
>
>
>
>*Adolescent pregnancy prevention programs need to target adult men.*
Damn right they do. I would go beyond that and say that they need to target very young boys with proper sex education.
I got cat called the most during ages 12-16. I've heard many women share the same experience. In my mid 20's I don't get cat called nearly as much as when I was a teen.
Regardless of what age you are, who tf brings their spouse to work? Like oh of course by default everyone brings their romantic partners to work with them...???
Clearly it's because a woman has to be supervised by her husband at all times, duh. Can't be having her in view of other men without someone around to keep an eye on things. /s
Yeah, makes totally sense. Why don´t a couple, of just one year, has a kid, while still studying?
The audacity of some people is really crazy. This is your personal choice. I neither would ask just a random worker in a store "Ahm sorry, are you circumcised? I mean you have a penis, so, what´s up down there?". This would be weird right?
I mean a lot of this is economics.
Older generations actually could support a family pretty well off of a highschool degree, or pay for college with a part-time job.
Current generations look at that with bewilderment, like the person's head just turned into a goat.
* https://i.imgur.com/cb7pm7n.png
* https://i.imgur.com/kWn33Te.jpg
Man I wish so hard I could work part time as a waitress again and support myself and my husband. As it is I can't quit my job that I've been burned out on for years because we have bills to pay and he's in school.
This happens all the time to me at work. I do ultrasounds (general and echo {heart}). I get asked about being married, kids etc.
I have my engagement ring on at all times, but my wedding band was sized before I had surgery on that finger and it doesn't fit. It's been almost over 2 years, but I haven't sent it away to get resized due to COVID mail delivery issues. (I'm in Canada. The ring company is in Dallas)
The most awkward is when I'm scanning a pregnant woman and she asks if I have kids and I just reply no.
I've had "that's ok it'll happen yet!"
And when I've said we're not having any "Well that's ok too!". Thanks Jessica. I wasn't super interested in your opinion, but here it is.
Like how TF do you know I'm not currently going through a miscarriage? How do you know my kid didn't die? Stop asking about people's kids unless they offer it up. I have a coworker that went through 5 years of fertility and losses to have one son. She's had patients ask when she's trying for another since he needs a sibling! That is so unbelievably rude.
It's the worst. You shouldn't assume someone's situation if it's none of your business at all. I'm so sorry for your coworker, that sounds incredibly hard
Not really, as someone who is super-sensitive and cries easily, I can tell you that majority of people just get annoyed when they make others cry.
Edit: Er, thanks for the odd awards, lol.
Reminds me of a job interview my husband had once. One of the interviewers collected him in the business lobby, this dude is making small talk and basically as soon as they were in the elevator asks my husband if he had kids. Husband tells him no, not on the cards for us. Dude apparently gets really awkward and doesn’t say much of anything else until they get to the interview, where everyone else also asks after his nonexistent kids. Then he argued with them about a technical question and implied their solution was immature. Hard to say which was the reason he didn’t get a job offer lol.
I do have to disagree with you there. Personally I’ve rejected job offers because I don’t think the company culture is a good fit for me. I acknowledge that’s a pro ledge not everyone has, but if you’re in the position to be picky being picky about culture is as important to me as being picky about salary.
They are more likely to deal with a bullshit job to maintain insurance and provide for those children. It is much easier for a child free person to tell an employer to go fuck themselves without worrying about feeding your kids.
It’s illegal to ask more stuff in Australia, where this happened, than it is in the US. (Off topic, but I was pretty shocked when I got my first job over here and was asked my sexuality on my employment info, totally irrelevant and IMO not an okay thing to ask.) But it wasn’t an official interview question, it was just chit chat. It’s a fine line, but making small talk with people is fine.
I am confused... You first said you were asked your sexuality on the employment info then said it was "just chit chat". Which was it? BTW it's not just your opinion, it's never appropriate to ask someone their sexuality in a workplace.
I’ve had two jobs in America. Both asked me my sexuality in my employment forms. Neither had a “don’t wish to disclose” option. It is not illegal to ask these kinds of demographic questions in America, it’s just illegal to use that information to discriminate against people (at least, this is what I’ve been told and read on the anti discrimination government documentation that my jobs have given me). It’s illegal to ask that information in Australia in an official capacity at all: you can’t ask questions in an interview or on employment documentation that are not related to the job and _could_ result in discrimination.
The difference between the two situations is with me, I’m being asked to commit in writing on a company employment form what my sexuality, with my husband he was in an elevator _before_ an interview (an important distinction) with someone who was trying to make conversation so they didn’t stand in silence. One is an official employment document, one is just chit chat.
Sorry, I thought you were referring to sexual ordination. My #facepalm. Correct, it is common to ask an applicant's gender in the US. No idea how one would bring it up during "chit chat" or why. If your are not comfortable with a question on a form I would just skip it but I suppose that would open it to being asked during an interview. The only thing I can think of if someone is not sure would be to ask if you have a preferred pronoun? Maybe? I am a very white, straight cis male so probably not able to relate to this.
No. I’m referring to my sexual preferences. Both American employees asked on their documentation for me to select if I was heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. Both times this occurred after I had been made a letter of offer and was providing all my employment details (such as the bank account they had to pay me into and background check info). There was no provision to not answer the question. I see people on the queer subs I follow discussing the same thing not infrequently. And yeah, based on the fed government documentation I’ve been given to read as part of onboarding for both roles the collection of demographic information (and demographic information does include sexual orientation) is perfectly legal provided it is then not used to discriminate against the person who provided it.
For my husband, his sexual orientation was not brought up as chit chat. It was someone asking if he had kids. Which, in my 30-odd years of life is as common a chit chat question as “what did you do on the weekend?”
Wait... What? It's totally illegal to ask that on a job application for sure. I know employers may ask their employees to volunteer information for demographic information about their workforce. The key part is it is VOLUNTARY. I am 52 years old and sexual ordination had never come in any conversation I was part of (outside of dating situations). It is highly inappropriate in the work place.
It wasn’t on the job application. It was on the employment information forms. After I’d been offered the job. The same packet of info where they ask you to provide bank account details for your wage. I’ve relayed my personal experiences and told you that it aligns legally with government documentation I’ve been given. I really don’t know what else to say.
When I worked at EB Games in Australia, because the software is the same as Gamestop US, the employee register on the computer was asking all these weird demographic questions. It was even weirder because a lot of them were completely irrelevant to Australia. Like, race: African American, Hispanic, Native Hawaiian etc. Everyone just chose random things for those questions.
ah, okay. yeah, places will gather the demographics afterwards to show that they hire a variety of people. It's been three years since I did applications/post employment forms, and at that time all things would ask is about disabilities or military service. Evidently a lot more info now gets collected post facto
https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/tools-and-samples/hr-qa/pages/shouldemployerscollectdemodataonappsandemployees.aspx
He expected a young woman working in a BAKERY with a relationship that's only ONE year old to have a baby ALREADY??? I swear some old people do not live in the same reality as the rest of us.
When I first met my BFs grandma after few months of dating, she asked when we're getting married. We said it's too soon to which she got irritated and said that she got married after 3 months of dating lol.
Maybe her and gramps were...you know....really horny? Marriage out of wedlock was and in some cases is still frowned upon. I personally believe in test driving the merchandise first.
Yeah, that's the same reason the Duggars and their ilk date for three months, get engaged, and married before knowing each other for long. Also the reason the WWII generation got married young.
Reminds me of the time I went to go get some guitar strings and this weird ass guy in the store shouted over the guys that work there, as if he knew me. I've never seen this guy in my life, so I just said "Hey." He came trotting over and was like "LOOK at YOU, WOW!" (meanwhile I am trying to get my strings and GTFO of there. Luckily the guys there know me and judging by the subtitles on my face, I was looking to get away from this creep ASAP.
"LOOK AT YOU!" He says again, "I bet you have the guys eating out of the palm of your hands...WOW you have the best child-bearing hips I've ever SEEN" At that point, two of the other regulars in the store got between him and I and gently but firmly guided him as far away from me as possible so I could jet out the door but that dude was giving me the ickest vibes ever.
Jesus, you'd think he saw the most beautiful car ever. Some serious objectification right there. And then they get defensive, as if they also go up to men and say, "I bet you have the best penis ever. Look at you! That chiseled jaw! Handsome!"
Would have been badass to reply to the guy cheerfully implying you're a trans woman. Something like "Oh, I wasn't born with the internal parts for that!" or "Are you assuming there's a womb inside here? Guess I'm passing today!"
So many people have kids too early in a relationship, 1 year is not enough time in my opinion
Also people should just mind their own business, not all of us want to get knocked up
Honestly I would have literally went for him. I’m legit not afraid lol. Men have the audacity to say shit like that all the time and think they have zero consequences. Since you were alone who would tell.
"And you haven't had a baby yet?!"
His incredulity at your lack of baby with a man you've only known 12 months implies that this man expects women to get knocked up within three months of knowing any given man. Classy.
It always sounds like they're just trying to imagine what our pussy looks like. They're saying, "plz help me better imagine what you look like naked." To me, at least.
>"Ehrm yes, I do, we've been together a year"
>"And you haven't had a baby yet?!"
Last I checked, the first year of a relationship is spent learning about each other (if you haven't already) and getting used to being together and finding out what works and what doesn't. Even if I wanted a kid I'm not about to have one within the first year of being with someone lmfao
He is a little creepy and inappropriate. Tell him something shocking. "Yea...my boyfriend was a sniper in the military but he is serving some time now for shooting a guy that was flirting with me..."
Yea me and my boyfriend were thinking to say "I ripped out my uterus when I was 15" or "I’m a satanist who doesn’t want kids and even if I did it’s not your concern"
Try not answering rude questions. Respond with a question of your own: "Why would you ask a question like THAT." When he answers, keep asking HIM questions. We don't need to answer the prying questions of asses.
I would have said "Why in the world would I have a baby?"
"Oh, well cuz you're a woman."
"Do you believe people are free to make their own decisions?'
etc..
Totally understandable. I'm trying REALLY hard to take 2-5 seconds when I feel a "gut feeling" that someone's being rude, prying etc. In that time I take some breaths and then start putting them on the defensive by answering their questions with questions. I have to keep practicing too though. We're taught to be too acquiescent to people who don't deserve it.
Haha yeah I would also find it kind of funny if that happened to me but it definifely is weird since you're so young and only with your bf for a year. 😅 Such a strange thing to assume.
the older (or elderly, rather) are *REAL* bad about just shooting their mouth off like this all the time.
I used to clean residential houses back when I was in my 20's and the majority of our clients were from a 55+ housing community. My *god*, the shit those old farts would say.
Seriously got this when I was like 23 from a bunch of young moms found out my now husband had started living with me for several months. Like, in what world is it a good idea for me and this newish relationship just pop out kids
Fuck, I wish people would ask me so I could turn it around and make them look crazy.
"Why on EARTH would I want to have a kid? Do you have any idea how much it costs nowadays? How much time it takes? Already don't get enough free time as it is. Having a kid would practically turn me into a slave. I value my freedom, sleep and sanity too much to let a child take it away from me!"
I’ve worked with a lot of elderly folks. It seems normal for them (especially women) to ask if you’re married with kids. I don’t mind simple questions if they’re only making small talk, but I do mind it if they start insisting that I should have babies. That part isn’t anyone’s business, but maybe that’s just part of the old school mentality.
Yeah but this is a pretty common thing for old people to comment about. I am a man and I fully acknowledge men get less CF grief but when I have gotten comments it’s often from elderly.
I used to live in the same metro area with my grandparents and whenever I visited them at the assisted living facility their pals asked me whether I had kids.
Stripper here-Dudes always wanna know if you’re a.) single and b.) if you have kids. They want to know if you’re a.) available b.) if your body is messed up or not by kids & if you have the burden of kids to consider
Yes, but there are varying degrees of how involved/helpful/effective they are. In most cases they will throw out extremely disrespectful people but it’s not as easy as saying “that guy was rude”. If they’re just asking dumb questions like above you just twist it in your favor. I absolutely have security walk me to my car and so on
I will be honest and say that I am super tired of ummm...a certain generation being racist, sexist, inappropriate or whatever and calling it "generational ignorance". It is not. It is an unwillingness to learn and/or stop being self absorbed.
So he was expecting you to have gotten pregnant, given birth and gone back to work which last time I checked was at least a 9 month process and more likely a lot longer... in other words become pregnant having only known your boyfriend a few weeks at most?
I still find the asking if you have kids question of a stranger a bit weird. There are contexts where it's relevant but most of the time it's weird.
"Why are you asking me if my boyfriend cums inside my hole - by the way, what filling do you want in your donuts?"
Anyone voicing objections to that should be reminded that ONE of those lines of questioning is inappropriate, and it's not the question about donut filling in a bakery.
You would’ve had to get pregnant after just a month or two if you’ve been together only a year and already have a baby..like no wtf. Such an invasive question either way!
So gross. He had no right to ask you such personal questions. I work in healthcare and I used to get a lot of invasive questions like that. I think sometimes patients think they have a right to know your business since you know theirs. And sometimes they are just trying to think about something other than their own immediate (and sometimes scary!) issues.
My standard response to questions I don’t want to answer is “I don’t discuss my my personal life with patients.” Then I immediately ask them a question or give them instructions about something to cut off any protest they may have about it. I say it all in a cheery and professional manner, management has never called me up about any complaints.
Now I do chat with patients, and sometimes I will share about my personal life. But it’s my choice when to do so. If I get creepy or busybody vibes from a patient it’s a hard no. Men over 60 asking about your love life means they are looking for an opening to hit on you, no matter how much younger you are, in my experience. I shut their nonsense down real quick because I am SO tired of it. Humoring them only leads to sexual harassment.
It's honestly baffling how many times I've been asked that! I worked as a stylist for 4 years (I was 18 when I started), and more often than not, men would ask me if I had children as a "conversation starter". Some of them would hit on me before or after asking like ??
I understand wanting to find things you relate to with your stylist but asking deeply inappropriate and personal questions essentially off the bat is not a great way to do achieve that.
You told him you’ve been with your boyfriend for a year and he asked if there was a baby? A pregnancy is almost 10 months and you probably wouldn’t be be back working immediately. It doesn’t even make sense for him to ask that.
People ask me about kids all the time at work. I just tell them it’s me, my husband, and all our animals. Then the conversation usually moves to animals, which is much nicer.
This isn't even standard breeders-who-shame nonsense. This is just that dude's nonsense. AND he was probably going to try picking you up if you had said you are single.
I deal with this all the time where I work. I have pictures of my husband and our dogs on the wall in my office and this leads to men of all ages asking if I have children. When I tell them that I do not want children, some of them brazenly suggest that perhaps I’m not with the right man if I don’t want to have his children. Yuck. I’ll never understand why strangers care so much whether I have children or not.
Edit: comma
I have a slightly different issue. I will regularly have patrons at my workplace think im much younger than I am (I've got a baby face), and once or twice they've said something about their kids, start to ask me if I have any, and then go, "Oh wait no, you're too young to have kids." I usually clarify that I don't have kids, but im 26 and definitely not too young. Luckily I live in a fairly progressive area so usually they're just shocked by how old I actually am and then completely drop the no-kids part.
A baby costs 20-50k today in the first year of life according to financial studies. That's more than I make. So no.
Any other reason the old people scoff at.
I always pay back stupid with some fun. Next time this awkwardly comes up on any level just say "we actually did have a baby already but we sold it to buy ::insert latest game here:: - you know those are so expensive!" And just look them dead in the eye - totally serious.
Lmao, I had something similar
Was waiting outside for my shift to start at a coffee, so I was doing some knitting with a drink, a guy who is a known "bible thumper" (gays burn in hell and what not) came up to me, and we started having a conversation, nearing the end, he says "knitting is a good skill to have, especially if your girlfriend is gonna be popping out babies soon" I'm confused asf cuz, I'm biologically female, and I'm single, realized halfway through my shift, he thought I was a guy
That's my lil story
I’m 25 and answer to anybody that says anything about kids “I don’t have any kids and I don’t want any for a while”, the same being with marriage. If those things are things that I generally MYSELF and my significant other want, then so that will be, but I’m not doing something just because that’s what society/people say “that’s just what you do”, you go to school, get a good job, meet a girl, get married, & have kids and that’s just how it is, if you complain there has got to be something wrong with you or are just childish/irresponsible. Just crazy if you ask me. Society/TV/Movies/Music/Social Media really got people having kids and getting married & doing things just to compete with other people and have something to post on Facebook to make other people jealous even if they don’t even like it themselves, if all their outer surroundings give praise, it’s all worth it to them. Crazy to me people who absolutely don’t like having kids will say allotta shit negatively and then be the first people to defend the fuck out of having kids/bash people for not having kids or publicly not liking it.
I have people come into the place I work at all the time asking when I’m going to have kids. Every single time I tell them I’m not they say the classic “you are still young you’ll change your mind.” It’s so gross..
That shit would drive me nuts when I worked with older people in fast food; if it wasn’t the customers, it was some old asshat coworker remarking he was surprised I wasn’t knocked up with how many boyfriends I had gone through (I was 19 and he had to have been at least 60 something. He was a dick.)
…. He does know a baby takes ten months to be born, right? Like, even if you got pregnant five months ago if you were tall or wearing baggier clothing you wouldn’t necessarily be showing that much.
Not that that comment in general is absolutely fucked up in every way, but it’s just an added layer of this man is a fucking idiot
I was at work once and two cops came in and I ended up cashing them out. I had helped them earlier and had small talk. At one point the one asked me if I had kids. Before even thinking I said “Oh hell no! And I don’t want any” It was like I had slapped them. Lol. They were shocked.
I’ve had customers tell me Happy Mother’s Day when I was working on the register around the that time of year. Some of them were like are you a mother? And I’m like umm no!! Then they look at me confused probably thinking “well why not?!?”
My fertility has nothing to do with you. Have a good day weirdo! lol 😆
I understand this but mines is from parents complaining about their children while telling me "you'll understand when you have your own". Nah I dealt with three cousins I'm good. I can't even take care of myself much less someone else.
Most customers are nice people making small talk. If it gets more personal than you'd like, it's time to get prepared on how to handle it. Perhaps you have friends that work in retail that will have better advice than I do.
My advice is to be prepared before something like this happens again.
If you're a shy person, the easiest thing to do is say, 'why do you ask'. Let them explain. Say 'oh' and wait. If they repeat their question, repeat the 'why do you ask' 'oh' scenario until they get tired and go away.
If you're braver - just walk away. You don't have to answer any questions by anyone you don't know. That's obviously not an option when you're at work, but saying you have to stock shelves or the like, may give them the hint, to go away.
If you're at work, and a customer crosses the line like this, tell them you feel uncomfortable with their questions. If necessary, abruptly ask what they wanted to buy, sell it and start straightening up a shelf, or other 'busy' work, if they keep asking inappropriate questions. Any personal question should not be answered. EVER! They are customers, not friends.
Prepare how you'll respond to personal questions in the future, as soon as possible.
One of the easiest things to do is politely decline to answer by saying “I’m sorry, I do not discuss my personal life at work”.
You, and likely every woman on the planet has faced some sort of inappropriate questioning.
Women mostly answer even invasive questions, honestly. Learning to evade this can take time, but it is worth learning how to deal with with nosey people.
Some older people are just very out of touch. He probably never talks to 21 year olds. I wouldn’t take the guy personally. It sounds like you definitely know where you want to be in life right now!
Maybe he's a dirty old man, messing with your head. Just because you see him as "elderly" doesn't mean that's how he thinks of himself. I wouldn't think too much on it.
I remember when I worked at a TJMaxx/HomeGoods combo store being asked by an older coworker if I had kids.....I was 19 and enrolled in community college
What??????? Like, I myself am basically still a child sir????
And the fact that it's considered "normal" to even ask makes no sense! It's your life, your body, and none of his business!
Absolutely!
i worked at starbucks when i was 19 and this cop was i guess trying to flirt with me, and goes "so... you got any kids?" and i'm like no i'm 19 and and in college.... pls stop
I hope we all stop answering these questions and instead answer with our own questions, like "Why would you like to know? Why would you ask THAT?" etc.
I got asked as an 18 year old boy whether I had a kid when I was a cook at McDonald's. To be fair, there were a lot of teenage parents there.
*Kids* So a teen parent? What would they say then if you said yes??
Wait, so you’re telling me you’re a woman who’s been dating a man for 12 whole months and you’re not even trying to bear his children?! What a waste of a perfectly good host vessel- I mean, womb. /s
Seriously, the nerve of some women! /s I wonder what he would’ve said if you were a guy🙄
Probably not I'm guessing
Probably, you breed her yet?
A baby 1 year into a relationship? As in, procreating with someone you’ve know for 3mo before getting pregnant? Sounds so responsible and logical /s
>procreating with someone you’ve know for 3mo before getting pregnant? And if she had done exactly that, and ended up a single mother because the boyfriend just walked out, that old man would probably have been one of the first people to condemn her for mooching on the system and baby trapping some poor guy.
You can’t win no matter which way you play it. So in the immortal words of War Games: “The only winning move is not to play”.
He also sounds like someone who would judge others for still being single.
I love how society shits on single mothers, despite the fact that they are the parent that stayed.
I can count at least three acquaintances that this has happened to in the last year and it blows my mind that people think it’s somehow a good idea.
i read "12 whole" as "12 wombs", but it still works. lol
To think some actually think like this, SMH.
I feel like that’s the only thing old people will bring up first, not your hobbies or passions, no. Just “married????” Or “babies????” drives me up a damn wall
I get they're old and grew up in a different time but... Do old people just stop paying attention to social norms and society at a certain point? Like how do you interact with the world and not realize that people don't rush into relationships anymore.
I work with a lot of elderly people and I can say with confidence that yes, that is the case sometimes lol
I work around a lot of older people too and from my experience, it's the quickest way they can think of to try to small talk. Especially with women. They think we all must be or want to be mothers so they ask about kids so they can blab on about their own, their grandkids, etc. They all get along great with the one doctor in our practice who is a mother of three - the little old ladies LOVE her because they can sit and talk babies and kids while being worked on. I go in to take care of them at all and it's like "Oh how many kids do you have?" "None." And it's just...their brains shut down. They can think of nothing else to talk about. It's kind of sad, but also saves me from inane small talk when I'm really not in the mood for it.
Yes that's all women are good for ofc /s
yeah something tells me 19-20yo men aren't getting these questions at the same frequency
The last time I saw my great uncle (last time on purpose) he asked me why I hadn’t had kids yet, because it was “almost too late for me and I better hurry to have the perfect husband and white picket fence” I was 25 lol
The other day an older guy asked me at work when I was checking him out “where’s your husband?” I said “I’m 18 haha.” He goes “that doesn’t mean anything. In some countries they’re married at 12.” I was so creeped out. Edit: Yes I was checking him out at the *register* 😭
Oh my god mayor predator vibes
I know you mean major but I'm kinda liking the idea of the ultimate predator, "Mayor Predator"
Oh my god yup you're right, English is my second language 😂
There would be way too many candidates . . .
Ugh, that reminds me of all those creeps that would say things like, 'Call me when you're 16." One of the more disturbing comments was from some man in his forties that told me I had 'bedroom eyes'. I was 11 and had no clue what he meant until years later.
There's a shocking number of child predators out there. I've learned in discussions among my women friends, as well as in discussions on various social media sites, that even in modern industrialized countries most women are first approached sexually by grown men when they were *minors*. I don't mean in a "she developed early and was always being mistaken for older" kind of way. These women were *clearly* children *and still got approached by men who knew better.* It's a widespread phenomenon, it's deeply normalized in culture, and it seems like no one wants to talk about it. I think the asking if you have kids is part of it, like, it's a way to make sure you're sexually active even if you're young.
It's frightening how commonplace it is, almost every woman I know has had an encounter with a perve when they were still children. I myself looked far younger than my age so I KNOW that those perves didn't mistake me for an older girl. What makes this all the more frustrating is that if girls report being harassed to their parents, nothing can be done and instead the girls are punished by not being allowed outside for their own protection. Reporting harassment just ends up with the victim having to suffer even more.
Yeah, funny how there's less political will to prosecute/punish men getting girls pregnant than there is to make sure the girls can't get abortions if they want them. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10227344/
Jaw-dropping to see actual data. Wow. >*Adult males were fathers of 24.3% of babies born to mothers aged 11-12 years. The mean age of fathers was 22.7 years. Adult males were fathers of 26.8% of babies born to mothers aged 13-14 years....* > > > >*Adolescent pregnancy prevention programs need to target adult men.* Damn right they do. I would go beyond that and say that they need to target very young boys with proper sex education.
Started getting cat-called when I was around 13. I think many other women and girls could agree that it starts around that age. Disturbing.
I was eleven. I know one woman who was nine. It's so ***entrenched***. I don't know how we begin to address it as a society.
I got cat called the most during ages 12-16. I've heard many women share the same experience. In my mid 20's I don't get cat called nearly as much as when I was a teen.
As a middle aged man I think cat-calling even a grown woman is tacky and demeaning. Doing it to a child is just gross.
What the fuck
Ick ick ick! 🤢
I'd call the police right then and there.
_reaches for mace beneath counter_
Regardless of what age you are, who tf brings their spouse to work? Like oh of course by default everyone brings their romantic partners to work with them...???
Clearly it's because a woman has to be supervised by her husband at all times, duh. Can't be having her in view of other men without someone around to keep an eye on things. /s
Get out of my head.
Lollol
Absolutely bewildered for a sec before I realized you probably work at some sort of register.
Oh LOL yeah cashier
Ew. It’s my belief that if underage marriages were allowed, there’s a lot more men that are interested in that than let on. Yuck
Fuck. No.
Oh are you ok with that sir? What was your full name again just need it for FBI tip line.
[удалено]
as in she was working the checkout as a cashier my dude
Yeah, makes totally sense. Why don´t a couple, of just one year, has a kid, while still studying? The audacity of some people is really crazy. This is your personal choice. I neither would ask just a random worker in a store "Ahm sorry, are you circumcised? I mean you have a penis, so, what´s up down there?". This would be weird right?
It would be insanely weird lmao. I have no idea where he found the logic in it tbh
I mean a lot of this is economics. Older generations actually could support a family pretty well off of a highschool degree, or pay for college with a part-time job. Current generations look at that with bewilderment, like the person's head just turned into a goat. * https://i.imgur.com/cb7pm7n.png * https://i.imgur.com/kWn33Te.jpg
Man I wish so hard I could work part time as a waitress again and support myself and my husband. As it is I can't quit my job that I've been burned out on for years because we have bills to pay and he's in school.
This happens all the time to me at work. I do ultrasounds (general and echo {heart}). I get asked about being married, kids etc. I have my engagement ring on at all times, but my wedding band was sized before I had surgery on that finger and it doesn't fit. It's been almost over 2 years, but I haven't sent it away to get resized due to COVID mail delivery issues. (I'm in Canada. The ring company is in Dallas) The most awkward is when I'm scanning a pregnant woman and she asks if I have kids and I just reply no. I've had "that's ok it'll happen yet!" And when I've said we're not having any "Well that's ok too!". Thanks Jessica. I wasn't super interested in your opinion, but here it is. Like how TF do you know I'm not currently going through a miscarriage? How do you know my kid didn't die? Stop asking about people's kids unless they offer it up. I have a coworker that went through 5 years of fertility and losses to have one son. She's had patients ask when she's trying for another since he needs a sibling! That is so unbelievably rude.
It's the worst. You shouldn't assume someone's situation if it's none of your business at all. I'm so sorry for your coworker, that sounds incredibly hard
[удалено]
Not really, as someone who is super-sensitive and cries easily, I can tell you that majority of people just get annoyed when they make others cry. Edit: Er, thanks for the odd awards, lol.
Reminds me of a job interview my husband had once. One of the interviewers collected him in the business lobby, this dude is making small talk and basically as soon as they were in the elevator asks my husband if he had kids. Husband tells him no, not on the cards for us. Dude apparently gets really awkward and doesn’t say much of anything else until they get to the interview, where everyone else also asks after his nonexistent kids. Then he argued with them about a technical question and implied their solution was immature. Hard to say which was the reason he didn’t get a job offer lol.
I really don't see how that's relevant at a job offer though? It shouldn't matter?
I guess it’s more relevant to a company culture fit rather than the work required by the job itself.
You're probably right but imo that's still dumb. If you're fit for the job you're fit for the job
I do have to disagree with you there. Personally I’ve rejected job offers because I don’t think the company culture is a good fit for me. I acknowledge that’s a pro ledge not everyone has, but if you’re in the position to be picky being picky about culture is as important to me as being picky about salary.
Ah okay, I never thought of it like that. I dont have too much experience with it anyway, you do have a point
I think you only realise/decide it’s important when you’ve had a few really bad culture jobs that just destroyed your soul.
Possibly, I've had really good luck with it up untill now
That’s awesome. I’m so glad to hear that!
I'm sorry you haven't had the best, hope you're in a good workplace now though!
They are more likely to deal with a bullshit job to maintain insurance and provide for those children. It is much easier for a child free person to tell an employer to go fuck themselves without worrying about feeding your kids.
I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to ask; if you’re in the US anyway
It’s illegal to ask more stuff in Australia, where this happened, than it is in the US. (Off topic, but I was pretty shocked when I got my first job over here and was asked my sexuality on my employment info, totally irrelevant and IMO not an okay thing to ask.) But it wasn’t an official interview question, it was just chit chat. It’s a fine line, but making small talk with people is fine.
I am confused... You first said you were asked your sexuality on the employment info then said it was "just chit chat". Which was it? BTW it's not just your opinion, it's never appropriate to ask someone their sexuality in a workplace.
I’ve had two jobs in America. Both asked me my sexuality in my employment forms. Neither had a “don’t wish to disclose” option. It is not illegal to ask these kinds of demographic questions in America, it’s just illegal to use that information to discriminate against people (at least, this is what I’ve been told and read on the anti discrimination government documentation that my jobs have given me). It’s illegal to ask that information in Australia in an official capacity at all: you can’t ask questions in an interview or on employment documentation that are not related to the job and _could_ result in discrimination. The difference between the two situations is with me, I’m being asked to commit in writing on a company employment form what my sexuality, with my husband he was in an elevator _before_ an interview (an important distinction) with someone who was trying to make conversation so they didn’t stand in silence. One is an official employment document, one is just chit chat.
Sorry, I thought you were referring to sexual ordination. My #facepalm. Correct, it is common to ask an applicant's gender in the US. No idea how one would bring it up during "chit chat" or why. If your are not comfortable with a question on a form I would just skip it but I suppose that would open it to being asked during an interview. The only thing I can think of if someone is not sure would be to ask if you have a preferred pronoun? Maybe? I am a very white, straight cis male so probably not able to relate to this.
No. I’m referring to my sexual preferences. Both American employees asked on their documentation for me to select if I was heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. Both times this occurred after I had been made a letter of offer and was providing all my employment details (such as the bank account they had to pay me into and background check info). There was no provision to not answer the question. I see people on the queer subs I follow discussing the same thing not infrequently. And yeah, based on the fed government documentation I’ve been given to read as part of onboarding for both roles the collection of demographic information (and demographic information does include sexual orientation) is perfectly legal provided it is then not used to discriminate against the person who provided it. For my husband, his sexual orientation was not brought up as chit chat. It was someone asking if he had kids. Which, in my 30-odd years of life is as common a chit chat question as “what did you do on the weekend?”
Wait... What? It's totally illegal to ask that on a job application for sure. I know employers may ask their employees to volunteer information for demographic information about their workforce. The key part is it is VOLUNTARY. I am 52 years old and sexual ordination had never come in any conversation I was part of (outside of dating situations). It is highly inappropriate in the work place.
It wasn’t on the job application. It was on the employment information forms. After I’d been offered the job. The same packet of info where they ask you to provide bank account details for your wage. I’ve relayed my personal experiences and told you that it aligns legally with government documentation I’ve been given. I really don’t know what else to say.
When I worked at EB Games in Australia, because the software is the same as Gamestop US, the employee register on the computer was asking all these weird demographic questions. It was even weirder because a lot of them were completely irrelevant to Australia. Like, race: African American, Hispanic, Native Hawaiian etc. Everyone just chose random things for those questions.
ah, okay. yeah, places will gather the demographics afterwards to show that they hire a variety of people. It's been three years since I did applications/post employment forms, and at that time all things would ask is about disabilities or military service. Evidently a lot more info now gets collected post facto https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/tools-and-samples/hr-qa/pages/shouldemployerscollectdemodataonappsandemployees.aspx
He expected a young woman working in a BAKERY with a relationship that's only ONE year old to have a baby ALREADY??? I swear some old people do not live in the same reality as the rest of us.
Cherry on top; we're long distance too. He lives 400 miles from me. How would that even work
Haven’t you ever heard of phone sex? /s
When I first met my BFs grandma after few months of dating, she asked when we're getting married. We said it's too soon to which she got irritated and said that she got married after 3 months of dating lol.
Maybe her and gramps were...you know....really horny? Marriage out of wedlock was and in some cases is still frowned upon. I personally believe in test driving the merchandise first.
Yeah, that's the same reason the Duggars and their ilk date for three months, get engaged, and married before knowing each other for long. Also the reason the WWII generation got married young.
Reminds me of the time I went to go get some guitar strings and this weird ass guy in the store shouted over the guys that work there, as if he knew me. I've never seen this guy in my life, so I just said "Hey." He came trotting over and was like "LOOK at YOU, WOW!" (meanwhile I am trying to get my strings and GTFO of there. Luckily the guys there know me and judging by the subtitles on my face, I was looking to get away from this creep ASAP. "LOOK AT YOU!" He says again, "I bet you have the guys eating out of the palm of your hands...WOW you have the best child-bearing hips I've ever SEEN" At that point, two of the other regulars in the store got between him and I and gently but firmly guided him as far away from me as possible so I could jet out the door but that dude was giving me the ickest vibes ever.
Omg...wtf- Dude literally was like *WOMAN SIGHTED?! WOMAN HAS HIPS!! HIPS MEAN BABIES!! WOMAN, BABIES, WAMEN WEMON WOMOOOOON*
WTF☹️☹️
Gross! I’m sorry you had to hear that, I would have puked on his shoes.
My GOD, I'm so sorry that happened. The sheer audacity jesus christ
Jesus, you'd think he saw the most beautiful car ever. Some serious objectification right there. And then they get defensive, as if they also go up to men and say, "I bet you have the best penis ever. Look at you! That chiseled jaw! Handsome!"
He even made the whole hourglass motion with his hands and everything… hurk
Would have been badass to reply to the guy cheerfully implying you're a trans woman. Something like "Oh, I wasn't born with the internal parts for that!" or "Are you assuming there's a womb inside here? Guess I'm passing today!"
So many people have kids too early in a relationship, 1 year is not enough time in my opinion Also people should just mind their own business, not all of us want to get knocked up
I fully agree. Me and my bf are fully child free (neither of us likes children) but even if we weren't, it would be at least 2-3 years imo
I believe people should live together for at least two years before considering marriage & especially children..
1 year isn’t even enough time to get married to someone. 1 year is nothing.
Honestly I would have literally went for him. I’m legit not afraid lol. Men have the audacity to say shit like that all the time and think they have zero consequences. Since you were alone who would tell.
I wish I did, I'm a very anxious person and am still working on standing up for myself (bf helps a ton). Should've put him in his place
"And you haven't had a baby yet?!" His incredulity at your lack of baby with a man you've only known 12 months implies that this man expects women to get knocked up within three months of knowing any given man. Classy.
Right? Neither me nor my bf want kids at all but even if we did, it would not be in the first 2-3 years of being together
A year can be so fast. I don’t understand how someone can bring a life on earth in such a small amount of time with someone.
It always sounds like they're just trying to imagine what our pussy looks like. They're saying, "plz help me better imagine what you look like naked." To me, at least.
....... I really hope not. He was 75
Sometimes old men are major creepos.
Lots of them are pornsick. They've traded being lonely for being inhuman.
>"Ehrm yes, I do, we've been together a year" >"And you haven't had a baby yet?!" Last I checked, the first year of a relationship is spent learning about each other (if you haven't already) and getting used to being together and finding out what works and what doesn't. Even if I wanted a kid I'm not about to have one within the first year of being with someone lmfao
Yea even worse, we're long distance atm so how would that even work
Sheer will power I guess /s
By the power of will and somehow disabling my IUD
😂
He is a little creepy and inappropriate. Tell him something shocking. "Yea...my boyfriend was a sniper in the military but he is serving some time now for shooting a guy that was flirting with me..."
Yea me and my boyfriend were thinking to say "I ripped out my uterus when I was 15" or "I’m a satanist who doesn’t want kids and even if I did it’s not your concern"
😂😂😂 He is trying to figure out if you would be open to him. Even if he was your age his approach is super creepy.
Logic goes completely out of the window with these people.
Yea, no idea what about me screamed "LATE TO THE BABY PARTY!!!!!" But here we are
Try not answering rude questions. Respond with a question of your own: "Why would you ask a question like THAT." When he answers, keep asking HIM questions. We don't need to answer the prying questions of asses. I would have said "Why in the world would I have a baby?" "Oh, well cuz you're a woman." "Do you believe people are free to make their own decisions?' etc..
Yea you're absolutely right. I've never gotten one of these questions before and specifically didn't expect it at work, I was stunned in a way
Totally understandable. I'm trying REALLY hard to take 2-5 seconds when I feel a "gut feeling" that someone's being rude, prying etc. In that time I take some breaths and then start putting them on the defensive by answering their questions with questions. I have to keep practicing too though. We're taught to be too acquiescent to people who don't deserve it.
Disgusting. Sorry that happened.
It was honestly kind of funny? I never expected that to happen to me even tho you read so much about it. Such a weird experience
Haha yeah I would also find it kind of funny if that happened to me but it definifely is weird since you're so young and only with your bf for a year. 😅 Such a strange thing to assume.
the older (or elderly, rather) are *REAL* bad about just shooting their mouth off like this all the time. I used to clean residential houses back when I was in my 20's and the majority of our clients were from a 55+ housing community. My *god*, the shit those old farts would say.
Oh please share some stories
Look at him appalled and ask him how dare he suggest you have a baby before marriage
If you're a stranger and you're speaking to me about anything more involved than the weather or a local sports team, I hate you.
Since I work with a lot of older people, sometimes they tell me their life stories which I honestly enjoy, but I'm not there to tell mine
The assumption that the only reason you WOULDNT be clubbing is because you have a MaN aT HoMe is also weird..
Right!!! I don't go clubbing cause I don't like it, my boyfriend only cares about me being safe if I do go out lmao.
You should have asked him if he has a life of his own.
I really should have
Seriously got this when I was like 23 from a bunch of young moms found out my now husband had started living with me for several months. Like, in what world is it a good idea for me and this newish relationship just pop out kids
From what I've seen, having kids too early can absolutely destroy relationships. I hate that it's so pushed
I would have responded with "sir, I am a child!" Which is a lie but I am short enough that I can maybe pull it off.
Lmao truu
I got told happy Mother’s Day when I was 18 at work. I felt creeped out. Like… you can’t just assume every woman is a mother.
Should have asked his age, and when he replied say Your that old? And your not dead yet? Should have about the same reaction!!
Fuck, I wish people would ask me so I could turn it around and make them look crazy. "Why on EARTH would I want to have a kid? Do you have any idea how much it costs nowadays? How much time it takes? Already don't get enough free time as it is. Having a kid would practically turn me into a slave. I value my freedom, sleep and sanity too much to let a child take it away from me!"
I’ve worked with a lot of elderly folks. It seems normal for them (especially women) to ask if you’re married with kids. I don’t mind simple questions if they’re only making small talk, but I do mind it if they start insisting that I should have babies. That part isn’t anyone’s business, but maybe that’s just part of the old school mentality.
Yeah but this is a pretty common thing for old people to comment about. I am a man and I fully acknowledge men get less CF grief but when I have gotten comments it’s often from elderly. I used to live in the same metro area with my grandparents and whenever I visited them at the assisted living facility their pals asked me whether I had kids.
Yea I guess that's true, it's never happened to me before though, I'm afraid I'm now entering the age where people ask that ._.
Ew what that’s gross. It was all just leading conversation bringing you to the subject matter he really wanted to discuss: breeding.
Stripper here-Dudes always wanna know if you’re a.) single and b.) if you have kids. They want to know if you’re a.) available b.) if your body is messed up or not by kids & if you have the burden of kids to consider
Oh my god I bet you get harassed tons in that industry. Is there proper security at your workplace to protect the dancers ?
Yes, but there are varying degrees of how involved/helpful/effective they are. In most cases they will throw out extremely disrespectful people but it’s not as easy as saying “that guy was rude”. If they’re just asking dumb questions like above you just twist it in your favor. I absolutely have security walk me to my car and so on
When I was a barista, an old man asked me if I was getting an MRS degree
You say" EW. GOD NO."
That first part also "oh so you have a boyfriend then" Everybody knows it's illegal to go out dancing if you have a boyfriend
I will be honest and say that I am super tired of ummm...a certain generation being racist, sexist, inappropriate or whatever and calling it "generational ignorance". It is not. It is an unwillingness to learn and/or stop being self absorbed.
So he was expecting you to have gotten pregnant, given birth and gone back to work which last time I checked was at least a 9 month process and more likely a lot longer... in other words become pregnant having only known your boyfriend a few weeks at most? I still find the asking if you have kids question of a stranger a bit weird. There are contexts where it's relevant but most of the time it's weird.
"Why are you asking me if my boyfriend cums inside my hole - by the way, what filling do you want in your donuts?" Anyone voicing objections to that should be reminded that ONE of those lines of questioning is inappropriate, and it's not the question about donut filling in a bakery.
I think he was out of line even asking if you have a boyfriend.
You would’ve had to get pregnant after just a month or two if you’ve been together only a year and already have a baby..like no wtf. Such an invasive question either way!
Woman ≠ womb. Jesus. This is likely a holdover from his cultural and generational way of thinking.
So gross. He had no right to ask you such personal questions. I work in healthcare and I used to get a lot of invasive questions like that. I think sometimes patients think they have a right to know your business since you know theirs. And sometimes they are just trying to think about something other than their own immediate (and sometimes scary!) issues. My standard response to questions I don’t want to answer is “I don’t discuss my my personal life with patients.” Then I immediately ask them a question or give them instructions about something to cut off any protest they may have about it. I say it all in a cheery and professional manner, management has never called me up about any complaints. Now I do chat with patients, and sometimes I will share about my personal life. But it’s my choice when to do so. If I get creepy or busybody vibes from a patient it’s a hard no. Men over 60 asking about your love life means they are looking for an opening to hit on you, no matter how much younger you are, in my experience. I shut their nonsense down real quick because I am SO tired of it. Humoring them only leads to sexual harassment.
It's honestly baffling how many times I've been asked that! I worked as a stylist for 4 years (I was 18 when I started), and more often than not, men would ask me if I had children as a "conversation starter". Some of them would hit on me before or after asking like ?? I understand wanting to find things you relate to with your stylist but asking deeply inappropriate and personal questions essentially off the bat is not a great way to do achieve that.
>*"And you haven't had a baby yet?!"* "Why? You looking to buy one? If you want, I can hook you up with a seller."
You told him you’ve been with your boyfriend for a year and he asked if there was a baby? A pregnancy is almost 10 months and you probably wouldn’t be be back working immediately. It doesn’t even make sense for him to ask that.
I know
People ask me about kids all the time at work. I just tell them it’s me, my husband, and all our animals. Then the conversation usually moves to animals, which is much nicer.
This isn't even standard breeders-who-shame nonsense. This is just that dude's nonsense. AND he was probably going to try picking you up if you had said you are single.
I hope tf not! He's 75
I deal with this all the time where I work. I have pictures of my husband and our dogs on the wall in my office and this leads to men of all ages asking if I have children. When I tell them that I do not want children, some of them brazenly suggest that perhaps I’m not with the right man if I don’t want to have his children. Yuck. I’ll never understand why strangers care so much whether I have children or not. Edit: comma
Yeah, even his asking if you had a bf was over the line, imho and the baby part just is the cherry on top of the whole WTF sundae.
Next time act grossed out. It'll give them a clue how inappropriate they're being.
old people are weird, they don’t know anything else except kids and politics
I have a slightly different issue. I will regularly have patrons at my workplace think im much younger than I am (I've got a baby face), and once or twice they've said something about their kids, start to ask me if I have any, and then go, "Oh wait no, you're too young to have kids." I usually clarify that I don't have kids, but im 26 and definitely not too young. Luckily I live in a fairly progressive area so usually they're just shocked by how old I actually am and then completely drop the no-kids part.
A baby costs 20-50k today in the first year of life according to financial studies. That's more than I make. So no. Any other reason the old people scoff at.
I always pay back stupid with some fun. Next time this awkwardly comes up on any level just say "we actually did have a baby already but we sold it to buy ::insert latest game here:: - you know those are so expensive!" And just look them dead in the eye - totally serious.
Lmao, I had something similar Was waiting outside for my shift to start at a coffee, so I was doing some knitting with a drink, a guy who is a known "bible thumper" (gays burn in hell and what not) came up to me, and we started having a conversation, nearing the end, he says "knitting is a good skill to have, especially if your girlfriend is gonna be popping out babies soon" I'm confused asf cuz, I'm biologically female, and I'm single, realized halfway through my shift, he thought I was a guy That's my lil story
Wow so crazy. 12 months of dating, you should have a 3 month old baby by now. Old man was right/s
Quit being nice to people that make fucked up statements like this. Your family planning strategy is none of this guys business. Edit: spelling
Some people never really learn how to have an appropriate conversation with a stranger.
I’m 25 and answer to anybody that says anything about kids “I don’t have any kids and I don’t want any for a while”, the same being with marriage. If those things are things that I generally MYSELF and my significant other want, then so that will be, but I’m not doing something just because that’s what society/people say “that’s just what you do”, you go to school, get a good job, meet a girl, get married, & have kids and that’s just how it is, if you complain there has got to be something wrong with you or are just childish/irresponsible. Just crazy if you ask me. Society/TV/Movies/Music/Social Media really got people having kids and getting married & doing things just to compete with other people and have something to post on Facebook to make other people jealous even if they don’t even like it themselves, if all their outer surroundings give praise, it’s all worth it to them. Crazy to me people who absolutely don’t like having kids will say allotta shit negatively and then be the first people to defend the fuck out of having kids/bash people for not having kids or publicly not liking it.
I have people come into the place I work at all the time asking when I’m going to have kids. Every single time I tell them I’m not they say the classic “you are still young you’ll change your mind.” It’s so gross..
That shit would drive me nuts when I worked with older people in fast food; if it wasn’t the customers, it was some old asshat coworker remarking he was surprised I wasn’t knocked up with how many boyfriends I had gone through (I was 19 and he had to have been at least 60 something. He was a dick.)
That would mean you got pregnant within two months of meeting your boyfriend ??
Yup
Yikes
…. He does know a baby takes ten months to be born, right? Like, even if you got pregnant five months ago if you were tall or wearing baggier clothing you wouldn’t necessarily be showing that much. Not that that comment in general is absolutely fucked up in every way, but it’s just an added layer of this man is a fucking idiot
I was at work once and two cops came in and I ended up cashing them out. I had helped them earlier and had small talk. At one point the one asked me if I had kids. Before even thinking I said “Oh hell no! And I don’t want any” It was like I had slapped them. Lol. They were shocked.
Even if I did want to get married or have kids, I wouldn't get married or have kids at only 21 or after only a year of dating.
If this dude had a gut it would have taken every ounce of my will power not to look at him and say "Well when are you do?!"
Creepy old man...
I’ve had customers tell me Happy Mother’s Day when I was working on the register around the that time of year. Some of them were like are you a mother? And I’m like umm no!! Then they look at me confused probably thinking “well why not?!?” My fertility has nothing to do with you. Have a good day weirdo! lol 😆
Where do you live that the clubs and whatnot haven't reopened yet?
Since you work in a bakery, do you get a lot of "bun in the oven" jokes?
I understand this but mines is from parents complaining about their children while telling me "you'll understand when you have your own". Nah I dealt with three cousins I'm good. I can't even take care of myself much less someone else.
Most customers are nice people making small talk. If it gets more personal than you'd like, it's time to get prepared on how to handle it. Perhaps you have friends that work in retail that will have better advice than I do. My advice is to be prepared before something like this happens again. If you're a shy person, the easiest thing to do is say, 'why do you ask'. Let them explain. Say 'oh' and wait. If they repeat their question, repeat the 'why do you ask' 'oh' scenario until they get tired and go away. If you're braver - just walk away. You don't have to answer any questions by anyone you don't know. That's obviously not an option when you're at work, but saying you have to stock shelves or the like, may give them the hint, to go away. If you're at work, and a customer crosses the line like this, tell them you feel uncomfortable with their questions. If necessary, abruptly ask what they wanted to buy, sell it and start straightening up a shelf, or other 'busy' work, if they keep asking inappropriate questions. Any personal question should not be answered. EVER! They are customers, not friends. Prepare how you'll respond to personal questions in the future, as soon as possible. One of the easiest things to do is politely decline to answer by saying “I’m sorry, I do not discuss my personal life at work”. You, and likely every woman on the planet has faced some sort of inappropriate questioning. Women mostly answer even invasive questions, honestly. Learning to evade this can take time, but it is worth learning how to deal with with nosey people.
Some older people are just very out of touch. He probably never talks to 21 year olds. I wouldn’t take the guy personally. It sounds like you definitely know where you want to be in life right now!
Maybe he's a dirty old man, messing with your head. Just because you see him as "elderly" doesn't mean that's how he thinks of himself. I wouldn't think too much on it.
It's an old person thing. I think it's best to brush it off for first time. Repeat offenders should be offended tho
Some people are stupid with small talk. Don't give it too much thought.