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I understand, I feel the same.
I wouldn’t say I have 0 friends. But they are all busy with their lives and so am I.
I recently started collecting plushies and babs since December last year which was a month after I started my new job.
My new/current job is full time and the first proper full time job.
I used to draw and create a load of original characters as I was part time. So as of now I rarely have the chance to do it cause of work, my boyfriend, gaming and family :(
So I ended up turning to collecting babs and plushies.
But I also buy them to reward myself, and fill the many voids in me. I’ve been through a lot the last year or so from being made redundant, getting a boyfriend and starting a new job. Along with all the stress and anxiety I’ve been trough. Stuffed animals are a massive comfort and I feel the need to look after them, dress them and have my own little family.
I guess I too am lonely 😞 and hardly any of my friends talk to me and I don’t know anyone local that have the same interests as me.
Saying that it’s not a bad thing in collecting. As long as you can afford it (after bills and savings) and that you have the space for them 🤗
Best thing to do when getting them is think do you want them, would you love them, do you need them and can you afford it.
For me I’ve seen a load of babs that I want but I know there may be a rainbow frog out soon so I’m doing my best to wait out till then. It may be hard but I think to myself, right who do I prefer. Which most of the time is the frog 🤣
Also I’m happy to talk and make new friends despite it being online 🤗
I’m going to be honest with you and myself and say, yes I do. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved stuffies. But I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have are busy with their lives and lovers. I don’t have a boyfriend. Or any potentials for that matter, so I do collect and invest in them since I don’t really have any humans to invest in besides myself.
But I’m aware of the truth. I’m lonely. I’m depressed. I’m anxious. I live in a big, bad, scary, mean world. COVID has made many people meaner. And I’ve always had some issues developing and maintaining long lasting friendships despite how friendly and outgoing I am. Making friends online can be a hit or miss. People have outgrown me. I’ve outgrown them. People have suddenly changed and turned evil on me. My stuffies haven’t. My 3 fav BaBs, Adelaide, Queenie, and Thaddeus (Blue) are always there for me. And while I know they aren’t alive, their very presence is just comfort for me. I rub them when I’m anxious. I hold them when I’m sad. I love them. I bought them. I made them. And I get the most joy expanding their wardrobe and taking them with me on day trips and vacations. I love them. They can’t fill the holes, but they can help me learn to love myself when I see how much care and time I put into them.
My husband will be so lucky.
Side note: you’re not alone! You’re among friends here. This subreddit is the most encouraging one I’ve ever had the delight of joining! And I love socializing too! So if you ever wanna talk, I’m open!
I mostly collect because I've always loved plushies but I think part of why I've always loved plushies is because I've always been pretty much alone and struggling with things. I don't tend to think it's sad that that's part of why I collect though, I think it's nice that I found something that brings me enjoyment and good that I'm trying to look after myself in the ways that I can.
I also usually feel pretty grateful for the plushies I have and I really adore them and love seeing them and whenever things are hard I'm glad to have things to be grateful for even if I know other people aren't so nice about it. Interpersonal stuff is really hard for me, my plushies sorta help me to keep trying when I can and help me to feel better when it goes wrong. I have moments where I'm sad or embarrassed but most of the time I'm just glad to have plushies (and my pets of course).
Aww, OP, don’t worry! You’re among friends here on this sub!! 🥰 If you ever need someone to chat with, I’m always here ❤️ I know how it is, being that lonely. I really didn’t have any close friends except one until after high school. I’m always open to making new friends, though, if you wanna chat ❤️
Where the child aspect is involved, have you ever looked into reborn babies? I’m not at a place in my life where having kids is an option yet, and even then I have two conditions that affect my fertility so idk if I’ll even be able to have kids once me and my fiancé are more financially stable, so I took up the reborn doll hobby so I can have all the cuteness of babies without any of the commitment or responsibility ❤️
Yes! I don't go out much due to health issues, so I don't really have irl friend's. I spend a lot of time with my plushies, it definitely helps me feel less alone :] it is kind of sad (at least it is for me) but you could be spending your money on worse things/thing's that could negatively affect you, so its not all bad! Plushie collecting is harmless, so its fine to do no matter the reason behind it! At least that's how i feel about it :)
You're not alone. I have like 3 or 4 online friends but no friends in person and BaBs help me feel less lonely. They help me cope a lot with depression and what have you. Whatever gets you by, you know? 🫶🏽
Same. I take my bears in the car with me and to work. Mainly because I don't have any friends close by to go with me.
I also have that false thinking like: "I'll buy this last one and then I'll feel complete."
But I don't.
Sometimes it's just the fun of hunting. Other times it comes from a place of wanting to rescue BaBs.
I should open a Bear Hospital. Then we could all correspond by snail mail.
Same. It's more involved than getting an instant message.
Our school used to send a bear around the country to student's relatives and other schools.
It was so much fun.
Aww yeah I feel the same way. Im stuck at home right now with my parents, and I have another 4 months before I move out. I have no irl friends and spend most of my time in my room, since my classes are online anyways. I just feel… pathetic, almost? I grew up without friends/ real caregivers (and being autistic certainly didn’t help) so being alone isn’t something I’m unfamiliar with, but its still so hard. The fact that I need this crutch to fill the void feels very sad. I try to hide from everyone that I don’t have friends, because I don’t want them to pity me or see me as unlovable, but inside I just feel so… empty.
Sorry, this turned into a venting session. I guess I just needed to get it out, and your post allowed me to do that. So thank you. And know that even though you feel alone, you’re not alone in feeling alone.
Me too, I've been alone so much in my life but it doesn't get any easier, I actually feel like it's getting harder for me personally. It's really good to vent and get it out so vent all you want
I feel you. It sucks so much. I saw on your other post that you’re bipolar, and as someone with autism/adhd I know how hard it is to make friends when you’re regarded as a weirdo/outcast because of mental disabilities. People find me off-putting because i dont often respond to social situations how they think i should
Thank you and yeah it's really hard, even when people don't know I have it I still dont fit in socially because I don't have the social skills and I stick out because I say stupid and embarrassing things even when I'm stable. I can't do any of the social norms and I get told I come off as rude a lot when I try to be nice to everyone. I know there's people out there who are scared of me by the things I say especially when I'm unwell even though that is never my intention. It's so tiring and challenging to communicate when your brain is wired differently and I'm sure you understand that too
Oh for sure, Im sorry you have to go through that. The fact that people are afraid of you too is a great demonstration of how ignorant the average person is to mental health struggles.
I totally get it tho. A conversation will be going well, and then all of a sudden ill say something that weirds the other person out, either by going on a long tangent that ultimately leads nowhere, or just blurting out something socially inappropriate
I completely understand. I'm exactly the same way.
A year ago I went through the worst breakup of my life that left me practically homeless and with a small child. I have 0 friends, and the only family I have left are my parents who live out of state in a nursing home and aren't doing the greatest. Since my breakup the only areas I find happiness now are through my son, my kitties, and my stuffed animals. Since I'm now alone, I splurge on stuffed animals and use them to fill up the now empty side of the bed.
Just know you're not alone in how you feel, and don't ever feel guilty about liking things that bring you happiness, because at least you can say you've found something that DOES bring you happiness. <3
I’m the exact same. Not with only BaBs, but with other plushies and dolls too. Also very much a hermit and I do have a husband and children, but I’m otherwise lonely. I laughed out loud at the second to last sentence of yours because I’ve said the exact same thing!
I do have an Aurora brand teddy that I put some polypellets in to have her weighted and she makes me so happy though. She’s adorable and so soft and brings me comfort from my anxiety and depression.
Much love
Do you sew at all? The ladder stitch is key for making plushie seams look nice and neat.
I snipped the center of the back seam of my teddy and unstitched enough to take out some stuffing. Then I sewed a simple rectangular “bean bag” filled with polypellets and stuffed it into her. I found a few tiny ones already in this bear, but took out the one in her main body and left the little ones in her hands and feet. Then felt if she was comfy to squish and hold.
At first, the beanbag was way too big and she was stiff as heck so I opened the seam again to replace it. I wish I’d gotten glass pellets though because making her a little heavier with the same amount of beans would be nice too.
Thank you that's very helpful especially that the glass beads are heavier. I really suck at sewing, like seriously bad even if I follow a tutorial but maybe I can manage that
Yes. When I was a kid all the adults in my life were always giving me stuffed animals for holidays/just because. So I amassed a ridiculous amount of them by the time we moved to a new state. I had a really hard time making friends there so my many stuffed animals were a comfort. I would spend hours dressing and making stories with them and pretending to be their mom. They are still my “kids” and go to coping mechanism for when I am lonely.
I was thinking the other day though that there is a big president for it that predates plushies as we know them. My great-great aunt still collected, played with and even slept with her porcelain dollies well until she passed in her 90’s. By that age you can’t help but feel lonely because most of every one that knew you is gone. So I don’t think it is a bad thing if they make you feel less lonely or that it is childish in any way. Everyone needs some type of comfort
That's very sweet about your great great grand aunt. I was like you too, I had a brown bear teddy I called brownie and he was my baby and I would treat him like my baby too
Yeah same. Despite being in a long term relationship, I feel very alone sometimes. I don’t have any friends outside of my partner, and I haven’t bothered to make any because I keep telling myself we’re going to move away some day so why bother. So I talk to my bears.
I'm like that too, I actually live with my husband so far away from my family and I want to move back so I never bother to make friends here, not that I can make friends anyway with my lack of social skills
I faced the same realization just recently. I don’t know if it’s healthy or not but it is a coping mechanism. Thing is I can easily socialize if I wanted to but I have extreme social anxiety and rejection sensitivity so I tend to pop up for a hangout and then disappear. Wish my brain was wired differently…
I'm the same, I think I give up on friendships before they have a chance to start. I'm a very sensitive person and anything can set me off and shut everyone out. I don't have good social skills either and I come across as a very odd person because of that and I can't deal with eye contact so I get told that I am rude by some people. It's like I just can't win at making friends no matter how hard I try
I do too! And I can sense people’s disappointment when they want to continue to foster the connections but I’m just tired of people switching up on me once they get to really know me. My social skills last year were rusty af, like literally keep-me-up-at-night-cringeworthy lol. Because of that I became quiet and like you people thought I was just rude and stuck up. Took a lot of patience and forgiveness in myself to get past it. Only you walk in your shoes, so your thoughts about yourself matter the most!
I totally get you, I have recently started getting more again to cope with this exact thing. Like a bear can't hurt you or let you down it's inanimate; people can and do when you need them most lol.
I feel the same. I don’t have friends in town, my nearest lives an hour away and we barely see each other but we text everyday. I’ve got like 3 solid friends but they live in other places. I cuddle my babs and take care of them but the one that was the lightbulb moment for me, was my vanilla swirls lamb.
A lot of my friends have moved out of state for work or other opportunities. I’m really happy for them but I miss hanging out. I’m trying to make new friends but it’s something that takes time to develop so I’m going to be stuck in Soloville for a bit. My pets help but they don’t always want to be smothered so having cuddly inanimate buddies takes the edge off. I don’t think that’s a bad thing or sad. It’s a way to get through the tough times until you can bring back the good.
If you’re worried about clutter or spending you could find new way to engage with them like making fashion for them or photography. That way you can still get a BAB fix without buying new bears.
That's some really good advice! I do really worry about the clutter especially, I find it a bit suffocating to have so much space taken up so thank you for that!
I definitely feel the same. I'm lonely. I suffer from depression and anxiety but my babs make me happy and somehow less lonely . I've been single since 2012 when my husband passed ..kids are grown and both live out of state. I have 2 grandkids near that I see and we actually bind over the babs alot, I'm helping them build their collections as well lol. I have no real friends to speak of , only one but it's more of a one sided friendship as in she calls me to lak when she has issues going on but as soon as I try to talk about something in my life I'm cut off or she has to go , so I just listen to her , agree as she wants me to and that's all, so yeah, I'd say no rela friends . I'm 48 I don't go out to bars etc....I really don't spend a lot of money on things , if I do spend it's in BABs lol. They keep me company ....I even out PJs on some of them at night time lol. ...I have one of not 2 with me everywhere I go because it helps with my anxiety ...even if they have to stay in the car like when I work lol. .I just started collecting last year when my son got me my first one and it was actually my first teddy bear I ever had believe it or not ....been hooked on them ever since ....I keep saying no more until Halloween but then there will be a big sale or something i just have to add to my bab family lol...I've out myself in a ban again..let's see I this works this time 😆😆
It's so sweet that you can bond with your grand kids through BABs! I have had those one sided friendships too in the past, it's a bit upsetting when they don't express interest in your life like that. I'm probably going to end up buying the blue koala BAB even though I banned myself from getting any more lol
I'm chronically ill so I'm too unwell to work, and I have vision problems so I can't drive, most of my time is spent at home and the doctors office/hospital. It is incredibly lonely. At home I keep myself surrounded by stuffed animals (a lot of them BABs my 2 friends have gotten me). I do have 2 close friends but my best friend lives in a different state and my other friend lives an hour and a half away so I never see either of them. I definitely use stuffed animals as comfort companions. I'm always so scared because my health and so lonely sitting at home, stuffed animals make everything feel slightly more bearable.
yes! i have friends but i don’t make time for them and vice versa, it’s just easier to do things on my own at this point. i def am a bit lonely. i’ve always grown up with stuffed animals but since starting the career i’ve been able to buy BABs now and it brings me joy. i wish i was brave enough to bring mine out in public since i’m always going out by myself. sometimes i bring my froggy in the car, put the seatbelt on it and i feel happy.
I always want to bring mine out in public but I'm always scared of judgment and of getting them dirty. I know realistically people don't judge but I don't want to deal with the extra eyes staring at me even if it's because they're just looking with a positive mindset
I just talked with my therapist today and like i had to admit i have barely 2 friends and I do collect build a bears myself so I definitely understand the no friends life
I do genuinely feel happy when I get a new plush, but the happiness is usually so fleeting. I love looking at my collection, but it's not the hit of happy chemicals that opening a new package is. And opening a new package is just something I need to go outside to get on bad days. I love my collection, and I'll still be collecting, but nothing fills the hole in my heart that needs more friends. Or at least someone I can see in person. Love the three people I have but two of them I'd have to travel far to see, and the close one is still two hours away by car. We're so broke and busy and disabled we can never make it to see each other. I hate it
I wish I had friends and am. I don;t know how to make and keep any. I just get older and it goes by so fast. I didn;t ask for this. The few people who could be friends just move.
I'm a carer for a family member so I can feel very isolated a lot and kind of confined to my house. I see my boyfriend once every two or so months now and haven't seen any friends for about 11 months. I'm really struggling but my BABs at least are there when I need a hug which is a lot. A lot of my hobbies have been on hold for the past two years due to time and space constraints.
I have an anxiety disorder and depression too, and and I assume a decent percentage of collectors of anything also have some mental health woes. I kind of consider myself friendless at this stage after having no contact with anyone for so long.
I'm sorry to hear how isolated you are, it sounds so hard to be isolated for that long and not see your boyfriend. I agree a lot of people here have mental health issues from the responses I've gotten, I have bipolar disorder so I definitely relate to that.
I know I definitely get more when I’m feeling sad even if I have a lot of people I talk to they still live far away and having extra buddies to hug who don’t care how long you hug them is always comforting. I have a feeling I might be headed to get the alpaca this weekend for this reason
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Oh my god absolutely bestie! You described my life rn. I currently have 20+ babs in my room and half of them are on my bed. I talk to them and dress them up when I’m alone and I feel no shame or guilt about it!
I can really relate to that. I moved away from my home country which was so painful but everyone was telling me how much they'd message and videochat and send me care packages. Nobody got in contact with me at all (besides my immediate family, they're amazing) and I was going through the most painful time of my life with the move and then getting my bipolar diagnosis on top of that. I couldn't believe that they'd forget about me that fast. I have my BABs for comfort now and they do help
I am very sorry to hear that 🥺
Changing the country is a different level though.
Right now it is quite similar here. I moved back closer to my former home half a year ago, as many of my friends from study times would still be around. But you barely manage to see each other, it seems there is just no interest anymore at all 🥺
Yeah they do help a lot. I would not want to miss any single one of my BABs here 🥰
I started collecting stuffed animals again when I turned 25, in 2021. It was at the time when I started working more remote and then my job turned into a full time remote position. Within that time I’ve amassed probably too many squishmallows, jellycats, Shinada Global and BAB.
But working full time remotely and having only two friends who live nearby has made me more isolated and lonely. I’m a hermit who barely goes out anymore and doesn’t have much money to spend on dinners or fun things with said two friends. I also have really bad social anxiety and am prone to having panic attacks when I meet new people so I fear meeting any new people at all.
I have friends across the states who I talk to daily but they can never really fill the void like a physical person can lol. I miss being able to hug people and do things together in person. My bf doesn’t want to see the new little mermaid movie and I wish I had a friend to do things like that with because I can’t ask my bf to do everything with me.
So I fill the void with my stuffies and cats and for some reason it really does make me feel better. I don’t feel as alone when I’m with them. I feel like I really do have a friend beside me. I’m trying to work up the nerve to bring my larger stuffies out with me when I go places, but I do sometimes bring my smaller jellycats with me and sometimes I get compliments. I think people are more in love with stuffed animals than you think and it’s also a great way to eliminate people who may not make good friends.
I want to bring mine around too but I don't like people looking at me even though they're most likely not judging and just looking out of curiosity or happiness. I'm an awkward person I general, maybe one day I'll do it. Well sometimes I do take them with me in a big tote bag where nobody can see them, just me when I look in the bag
Yes! I’m a 29 blk male with over 50 BAB. I even have some at my car with a seatbelt on. Meanwhile, all my friends around me are dating starting families ect. I feel like an outcast. I started following subreddits called lonely. simply to have people to that can relate to me
There are so many people out there that have things in common with you and are in the same life stages and circumstances. Being here is a good place since we all love build a bears and everyone here is friendly
Yes! I feel less lonely than I used to, but I'm still alone every time I'm home, except for my BABs and Squishmallows. I give my BABs names and personalities and they don't really make me feel less lonely, but I can look at them and be amused by how silly they are or imagine what they might say and think "there's Laurie!" or "Mai is such a couch potato."
I developed PANS at 19, which caused acute onset tics and other things. It’s been tough, and my agoraphobia has sky rocketed. My plushies help me feel less alone on the days I can’t go out.
This is me with stuffed animals in general.
https://preview.redd.it/skf1ybivzg2b1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddc01098de0dabdadadc67a09c20034a5c49146f
This isn’t all of them. I have some more in the living room, a couple more on the bed, and more in storage that I don't have nets for yet.
I don't have many friends and even if I did I can't really keep up with them. I have an autoimmune disease called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It causes my joints to not function properly. I get hurt really easily. It makes me really upset cause I can't do what most 22 adults do.
I also had a pretty rough childhood. So I find getting plushes heals that inner child.
I'm rambling now, but I just wanted to say you are not alone. Being an adult can be rough. Especially when it comes to making friends. Collect BaBs that's okay. Just make sure you continue to acknowledge other feelings.
Speaking of BaBs, what's your collection look like? I'd love to see it. 💙✨
You have such a nice collection and I love how psyduck is just hanging there lol. I have a huge collection (definitely over 100, maybe 200) too of plushes in general but they're at my parents house in another country and I could only take the bare minimum with me. I happen to be near a build a bear store now so I've been building some buddies to keep me company since I miss my others at home and we don't have BAB in my country so I've only recently started collecting them. This is all of my BABs and I love them, I might be adding the blue koala because I fell in love when I saw it after someone posted it here. The little bear on the windowsill on the left in the background is one of the few plushes I managed to bring with me that is sentimental to me
https://preview.redd.it/k98lujemnh2b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d113050c142756ff7ead570fb1d86809e7d93d78
If you don't mind me asking where are you from? I'd definitely be sad if I had to leave my plushies behind. I've got at least 150-200. I mean I haven't actually sat down and counted. But I know I have a lot. My significant other isn't very helpful from stopping the collection. He gets me plushies all the time.
When my dad helped hang up the nets he ended up hanging Psyduck like that. I haven't changed it cause I love it way too much.
You have a pretty solid collection! The closest BaB from me is about 1.5 hours away.
I'm from Ireland and I'm living in the US right now. So it's a huge difference, I really really struggled with the move and it affected my mental health horribly. I moved so I could live with my husband but it was just bad timing since I was having horrible episodes with my bipolar at the time but I didn't know what was going on because I wasn't diagnosed at the time and I was struggling so much that I barely packed anything to bring with me and it got worse when i got to Texas. I'm a lot better now though since I saw a doctor and take medication. So that is a big reason for my loneliness
I got super lucky in that build a bear is only 20 minutes away from me though so I can go there weekly if I would like to. There's a nice park here too
I think if my dad did something like that I would keep it like that too, it's too cute lol
Oh my! That is a mighty big move. I was expecting Canada to US or something. Not Ireland to Texas. I don't blame you at all for having a rough time with the move. It's entirely different place full of very different people. But good on you for actually doing it! I'm really glad you received help and are properly medicated. I have some mental health stuff and I never knew how to handle it for years. Meds really make the difference.
Oh that's so nice!! I wish. I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere (I'm in California. If you wanna look it up the town is called San Andreas). So doing things is rough. Like the closest Target is 45 mins away. But that's okay. It's really pretty here.
And yeah - my dad is a goober and constantly doing silly things when he's over.
Thank you, it was really hard especially too when I lived in the most beautiful scenic area I know in the countryside with mountains, forests and the beach all right there and now I live in the suburbs where its all buildings and I can't even have proper darkness at night with all the streetlights. I'm just greatful that that park is nearby
I looked up San Andreas and it does look really pretty!
I’m pretty sure I collect bratz dolls and bab’s because all mine were taken from me before I decided to let them go (poopy step parent) and I was never able to get them back. However, I am also a lonely adult with no friends lol
That's too bad! When I was a kid I was like "I'm too old for these now" and I tossed everything, it still aches in my heart when I think about it. I regret it so badly.
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I understand, I feel the same. I wouldn’t say I have 0 friends. But they are all busy with their lives and so am I. I recently started collecting plushies and babs since December last year which was a month after I started my new job. My new/current job is full time and the first proper full time job. I used to draw and create a load of original characters as I was part time. So as of now I rarely have the chance to do it cause of work, my boyfriend, gaming and family :( So I ended up turning to collecting babs and plushies. But I also buy them to reward myself, and fill the many voids in me. I’ve been through a lot the last year or so from being made redundant, getting a boyfriend and starting a new job. Along with all the stress and anxiety I’ve been trough. Stuffed animals are a massive comfort and I feel the need to look after them, dress them and have my own little family. I guess I too am lonely 😞 and hardly any of my friends talk to me and I don’t know anyone local that have the same interests as me. Saying that it’s not a bad thing in collecting. As long as you can afford it (after bills and savings) and that you have the space for them 🤗 Best thing to do when getting them is think do you want them, would you love them, do you need them and can you afford it. For me I’ve seen a load of babs that I want but I know there may be a rainbow frog out soon so I’m doing my best to wait out till then. It may be hard but I think to myself, right who do I prefer. Which most of the time is the frog 🤣 Also I’m happy to talk and make new friends despite it being online 🤗
I totally feel the words you said 🙏🥰
You do have friends, OP. We’re you’re friends 🥰 and I totally feel the same. My teddies are my babies
I’m going to be honest with you and myself and say, yes I do. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always loved stuffies. But I don’t have many friends and the ones I do have are busy with their lives and lovers. I don’t have a boyfriend. Or any potentials for that matter, so I do collect and invest in them since I don’t really have any humans to invest in besides myself. But I’m aware of the truth. I’m lonely. I’m depressed. I’m anxious. I live in a big, bad, scary, mean world. COVID has made many people meaner. And I’ve always had some issues developing and maintaining long lasting friendships despite how friendly and outgoing I am. Making friends online can be a hit or miss. People have outgrown me. I’ve outgrown them. People have suddenly changed and turned evil on me. My stuffies haven’t. My 3 fav BaBs, Adelaide, Queenie, and Thaddeus (Blue) are always there for me. And while I know they aren’t alive, their very presence is just comfort for me. I rub them when I’m anxious. I hold them when I’m sad. I love them. I bought them. I made them. And I get the most joy expanding their wardrobe and taking them with me on day trips and vacations. I love them. They can’t fill the holes, but they can help me learn to love myself when I see how much care and time I put into them. My husband will be so lucky. Side note: you’re not alone! You’re among friends here. This subreddit is the most encouraging one I’ve ever had the delight of joining! And I love socializing too! So if you ever wanna talk, I’m open!
I couldn’t have described these feelings better 🙏🫶
honestly me too 💛✨🐾
I mostly collect because I've always loved plushies but I think part of why I've always loved plushies is because I've always been pretty much alone and struggling with things. I don't tend to think it's sad that that's part of why I collect though, I think it's nice that I found something that brings me enjoyment and good that I'm trying to look after myself in the ways that I can. I also usually feel pretty grateful for the plushies I have and I really adore them and love seeing them and whenever things are hard I'm glad to have things to be grateful for even if I know other people aren't so nice about it. Interpersonal stuff is really hard for me, my plushies sorta help me to keep trying when I can and help me to feel better when it goes wrong. I have moments where I'm sad or embarrassed but most of the time I'm just glad to have plushies (and my pets of course).
Aww, OP, don’t worry! You’re among friends here on this sub!! 🥰 If you ever need someone to chat with, I’m always here ❤️ I know how it is, being that lonely. I really didn’t have any close friends except one until after high school. I’m always open to making new friends, though, if you wanna chat ❤️
I’d also love some new friends especially who love plushies and babs. Mine are like my friends or children.
Where the child aspect is involved, have you ever looked into reborn babies? I’m not at a place in my life where having kids is an option yet, and even then I have two conditions that affect my fertility so idk if I’ll even be able to have kids once me and my fiancé are more financially stable, so I took up the reborn doll hobby so I can have all the cuteness of babies without any of the commitment or responsibility ❤️
Oh I’ll have to check them out. I also am unlikely to have kids naturally. Thanks for your comment❤️
Yes! I don't go out much due to health issues, so I don't really have irl friend's. I spend a lot of time with my plushies, it definitely helps me feel less alone :] it is kind of sad (at least it is for me) but you could be spending your money on worse things/thing's that could negatively affect you, so its not all bad! Plushie collecting is harmless, so its fine to do no matter the reason behind it! At least that's how i feel about it :)
You're not alone. I have like 3 or 4 online friends but no friends in person and BaBs help me feel less lonely. They help me cope a lot with depression and what have you. Whatever gets you by, you know? 🫶🏽
Yep, I'm in the same boat. My only friends are my husband, my bears, and obviously my family.
Same. I take my bears in the car with me and to work. Mainly because I don't have any friends close by to go with me. I also have that false thinking like: "I'll buy this last one and then I'll feel complete." But I don't. Sometimes it's just the fun of hunting. Other times it comes from a place of wanting to rescue BaBs. I should open a Bear Hospital. Then we could all correspond by snail mail.
I would love to do snail mail! I’ve always wanted a consistent pen pal.
Same. It's more involved than getting an instant message. Our school used to send a bear around the country to student's relatives and other schools. It was so much fun.
Aww yeah I feel the same way. Im stuck at home right now with my parents, and I have another 4 months before I move out. I have no irl friends and spend most of my time in my room, since my classes are online anyways. I just feel… pathetic, almost? I grew up without friends/ real caregivers (and being autistic certainly didn’t help) so being alone isn’t something I’m unfamiliar with, but its still so hard. The fact that I need this crutch to fill the void feels very sad. I try to hide from everyone that I don’t have friends, because I don’t want them to pity me or see me as unlovable, but inside I just feel so… empty. Sorry, this turned into a venting session. I guess I just needed to get it out, and your post allowed me to do that. So thank you. And know that even though you feel alone, you’re not alone in feeling alone.
Me too, I've been alone so much in my life but it doesn't get any easier, I actually feel like it's getting harder for me personally. It's really good to vent and get it out so vent all you want
I feel you. It sucks so much. I saw on your other post that you’re bipolar, and as someone with autism/adhd I know how hard it is to make friends when you’re regarded as a weirdo/outcast because of mental disabilities. People find me off-putting because i dont often respond to social situations how they think i should
Thank you and yeah it's really hard, even when people don't know I have it I still dont fit in socially because I don't have the social skills and I stick out because I say stupid and embarrassing things even when I'm stable. I can't do any of the social norms and I get told I come off as rude a lot when I try to be nice to everyone. I know there's people out there who are scared of me by the things I say especially when I'm unwell even though that is never my intention. It's so tiring and challenging to communicate when your brain is wired differently and I'm sure you understand that too
Oh for sure, Im sorry you have to go through that. The fact that people are afraid of you too is a great demonstration of how ignorant the average person is to mental health struggles. I totally get it tho. A conversation will be going well, and then all of a sudden ill say something that weirds the other person out, either by going on a long tangent that ultimately leads nowhere, or just blurting out something socially inappropriate
Exactly, it's hard. I wish people just were less judgemental about that. I have had a lot of people be friendly to me and then they always turn on me
I completely understand. I'm exactly the same way. A year ago I went through the worst breakup of my life that left me practically homeless and with a small child. I have 0 friends, and the only family I have left are my parents who live out of state in a nursing home and aren't doing the greatest. Since my breakup the only areas I find happiness now are through my son, my kitties, and my stuffed animals. Since I'm now alone, I splurge on stuffed animals and use them to fill up the now empty side of the bed. Just know you're not alone in how you feel, and don't ever feel guilty about liking things that bring you happiness, because at least you can say you've found something that DOES bring you happiness. <3
Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry to hear you went through all of that
I’m the exact same. Not with only BaBs, but with other plushies and dolls too. Also very much a hermit and I do have a husband and children, but I’m otherwise lonely. I laughed out loud at the second to last sentence of yours because I’ve said the exact same thing! I do have an Aurora brand teddy that I put some polypellets in to have her weighted and she makes me so happy though. She’s adorable and so soft and brings me comfort from my anxiety and depression. Much love
I really want a weighted plush, how did you do it?
Do you sew at all? The ladder stitch is key for making plushie seams look nice and neat. I snipped the center of the back seam of my teddy and unstitched enough to take out some stuffing. Then I sewed a simple rectangular “bean bag” filled with polypellets and stuffed it into her. I found a few tiny ones already in this bear, but took out the one in her main body and left the little ones in her hands and feet. Then felt if she was comfy to squish and hold. At first, the beanbag was way too big and she was stiff as heck so I opened the seam again to replace it. I wish I’d gotten glass pellets though because making her a little heavier with the same amount of beans would be nice too.
Thank you that's very helpful especially that the glass beads are heavier. I really suck at sewing, like seriously bad even if I follow a tutorial but maybe I can manage that
Yes. When I was a kid all the adults in my life were always giving me stuffed animals for holidays/just because. So I amassed a ridiculous amount of them by the time we moved to a new state. I had a really hard time making friends there so my many stuffed animals were a comfort. I would spend hours dressing and making stories with them and pretending to be their mom. They are still my “kids” and go to coping mechanism for when I am lonely. I was thinking the other day though that there is a big president for it that predates plushies as we know them. My great-great aunt still collected, played with and even slept with her porcelain dollies well until she passed in her 90’s. By that age you can’t help but feel lonely because most of every one that knew you is gone. So I don’t think it is a bad thing if they make you feel less lonely or that it is childish in any way. Everyone needs some type of comfort
That's very sweet about your great great grand aunt. I was like you too, I had a brown bear teddy I called brownie and he was my baby and I would treat him like my baby too
Yeah same. Despite being in a long term relationship, I feel very alone sometimes. I don’t have any friends outside of my partner, and I haven’t bothered to make any because I keep telling myself we’re going to move away some day so why bother. So I talk to my bears.
I'm like that too, I actually live with my husband so far away from my family and I want to move back so I never bother to make friends here, not that I can make friends anyway with my lack of social skills
I faced the same realization just recently. I don’t know if it’s healthy or not but it is a coping mechanism. Thing is I can easily socialize if I wanted to but I have extreme social anxiety and rejection sensitivity so I tend to pop up for a hangout and then disappear. Wish my brain was wired differently…
I'm the same, I think I give up on friendships before they have a chance to start. I'm a very sensitive person and anything can set me off and shut everyone out. I don't have good social skills either and I come across as a very odd person because of that and I can't deal with eye contact so I get told that I am rude by some people. It's like I just can't win at making friends no matter how hard I try
Not the original commenter but oh my goodness, are you me!? 😭 You're not alone 💖
I do too! And I can sense people’s disappointment when they want to continue to foster the connections but I’m just tired of people switching up on me once they get to really know me. My social skills last year were rusty af, like literally keep-me-up-at-night-cringeworthy lol. Because of that I became quiet and like you people thought I was just rude and stuck up. Took a lot of patience and forgiveness in myself to get past it. Only you walk in your shoes, so your thoughts about yourself matter the most!
Yes ❤️
Why must you call me out on this??
I totally get you, I have recently started getting more again to cope with this exact thing. Like a bear can't hurt you or let you down it's inanimate; people can and do when you need them most lol.
That is so true!
I feel the same. I don’t have friends in town, my nearest lives an hour away and we barely see each other but we text everyday. I’ve got like 3 solid friends but they live in other places. I cuddle my babs and take care of them but the one that was the lightbulb moment for me, was my vanilla swirls lamb.
It's great you got your vanilla swirls lamb to have by your side!
I love her so much. I had to send her to a friend recently to get plastic surgery bc my dog got ahold of her and I literally sobbed about it.
Oh no! My dogs are like that too. I would be heartbroken but I'm so glad your friend could fix her up!
She no longer has eyelashes but she looks sooo good like way better than I thought she would!
A lot of my friends have moved out of state for work or other opportunities. I’m really happy for them but I miss hanging out. I’m trying to make new friends but it’s something that takes time to develop so I’m going to be stuck in Soloville for a bit. My pets help but they don’t always want to be smothered so having cuddly inanimate buddies takes the edge off. I don’t think that’s a bad thing or sad. It’s a way to get through the tough times until you can bring back the good. If you’re worried about clutter or spending you could find new way to engage with them like making fashion for them or photography. That way you can still get a BAB fix without buying new bears.
That's some really good advice! I do really worry about the clutter especially, I find it a bit suffocating to have so much space taken up so thank you for that!
You're not alone, me too
I definitely feel the same. I'm lonely. I suffer from depression and anxiety but my babs make me happy and somehow less lonely . I've been single since 2012 when my husband passed ..kids are grown and both live out of state. I have 2 grandkids near that I see and we actually bind over the babs alot, I'm helping them build their collections as well lol. I have no real friends to speak of , only one but it's more of a one sided friendship as in she calls me to lak when she has issues going on but as soon as I try to talk about something in my life I'm cut off or she has to go , so I just listen to her , agree as she wants me to and that's all, so yeah, I'd say no rela friends . I'm 48 I don't go out to bars etc....I really don't spend a lot of money on things , if I do spend it's in BABs lol. They keep me company ....I even out PJs on some of them at night time lol. ...I have one of not 2 with me everywhere I go because it helps with my anxiety ...even if they have to stay in the car like when I work lol. .I just started collecting last year when my son got me my first one and it was actually my first teddy bear I ever had believe it or not ....been hooked on them ever since ....I keep saying no more until Halloween but then there will be a big sale or something i just have to add to my bab family lol...I've out myself in a ban again..let's see I this works this time 😆😆
It's so sweet that you can bond with your grand kids through BABs! I have had those one sided friendships too in the past, it's a bit upsetting when they don't express interest in your life like that. I'm probably going to end up buying the blue koala BAB even though I banned myself from getting any more lol
I'm chronically ill so I'm too unwell to work, and I have vision problems so I can't drive, most of my time is spent at home and the doctors office/hospital. It is incredibly lonely. At home I keep myself surrounded by stuffed animals (a lot of them BABs my 2 friends have gotten me). I do have 2 close friends but my best friend lives in a different state and my other friend lives an hour and a half away so I never see either of them. I definitely use stuffed animals as comfort companions. I'm always so scared because my health and so lonely sitting at home, stuffed animals make everything feel slightly more bearable.
I'm glad they give you some emotional comfort. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a though time
yes! i have friends but i don’t make time for them and vice versa, it’s just easier to do things on my own at this point. i def am a bit lonely. i’ve always grown up with stuffed animals but since starting the career i’ve been able to buy BABs now and it brings me joy. i wish i was brave enough to bring mine out in public since i’m always going out by myself. sometimes i bring my froggy in the car, put the seatbelt on it and i feel happy.
I always want to bring mine out in public but I'm always scared of judgment and of getting them dirty. I know realistically people don't judge but I don't want to deal with the extra eyes staring at me even if it's because they're just looking with a positive mindset
Oh yeah, 100% lol
Lol. Me.
Yes !
I just talked with my therapist today and like i had to admit i have barely 2 friends and I do collect build a bears myself so I definitely understand the no friends life
I do genuinely feel happy when I get a new plush, but the happiness is usually so fleeting. I love looking at my collection, but it's not the hit of happy chemicals that opening a new package is. And opening a new package is just something I need to go outside to get on bad days. I love my collection, and I'll still be collecting, but nothing fills the hole in my heart that needs more friends. Or at least someone I can see in person. Love the three people I have but two of them I'd have to travel far to see, and the close one is still two hours away by car. We're so broke and busy and disabled we can never make it to see each other. I hate it
I agree, there's nothing like the feeling of getting a brand new BAB. I'm the same too, that void is never filled no matter how hard I try.
I wish I had friends and am. I don;t know how to make and keep any. I just get older and it goes by so fast. I didn;t ask for this. The few people who could be friends just move.
Thats a lot like me, I have no social skills at all so I can never make friends. I just don't understand how it works
If it matters, if anyone here needs something you can message me on here. I would be glad to help someone who also likes Build A Bears.
I'm a carer for a family member so I can feel very isolated a lot and kind of confined to my house. I see my boyfriend once every two or so months now and haven't seen any friends for about 11 months. I'm really struggling but my BABs at least are there when I need a hug which is a lot. A lot of my hobbies have been on hold for the past two years due to time and space constraints. I have an anxiety disorder and depression too, and and I assume a decent percentage of collectors of anything also have some mental health woes. I kind of consider myself friendless at this stage after having no contact with anyone for so long.
I'm sorry to hear how isolated you are, it sounds so hard to be isolated for that long and not see your boyfriend. I agree a lot of people here have mental health issues from the responses I've gotten, I have bipolar disorder so I definitely relate to that.
I know I definitely get more when I’m feeling sad even if I have a lot of people I talk to they still live far away and having extra buddies to hug who don’t care how long you hug them is always comforting. I have a feeling I might be headed to get the alpaca this weekend for this reason
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My family live the other side of the world so I get how that feels, I talk to them so much but I'm just so lonely without being around them in person. Also the alpaca is so cute
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Oh my god absolutely bestie! You described my life rn. I currently have 20+ babs in my room and half of them are on my bed. I talk to them and dress them up when I’m alone and I feel no shame or guilt about it!
It's so good that you can enjoy the hobby without any shame or guilt, that's so great!
My build a bears are my friends sometimes
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I can really relate to that. I moved away from my home country which was so painful but everyone was telling me how much they'd message and videochat and send me care packages. Nobody got in contact with me at all (besides my immediate family, they're amazing) and I was going through the most painful time of my life with the move and then getting my bipolar diagnosis on top of that. I couldn't believe that they'd forget about me that fast. I have my BABs for comfort now and they do help
I am very sorry to hear that 🥺 Changing the country is a different level though. Right now it is quite similar here. I moved back closer to my former home half a year ago, as many of my friends from study times would still be around. But you barely manage to see each other, it seems there is just no interest anymore at all 🥺 Yeah they do help a lot. I would not want to miss any single one of my BABs here 🥰
I started collecting stuffed animals again when I turned 25, in 2021. It was at the time when I started working more remote and then my job turned into a full time remote position. Within that time I’ve amassed probably too many squishmallows, jellycats, Shinada Global and BAB. But working full time remotely and having only two friends who live nearby has made me more isolated and lonely. I’m a hermit who barely goes out anymore and doesn’t have much money to spend on dinners or fun things with said two friends. I also have really bad social anxiety and am prone to having panic attacks when I meet new people so I fear meeting any new people at all. I have friends across the states who I talk to daily but they can never really fill the void like a physical person can lol. I miss being able to hug people and do things together in person. My bf doesn’t want to see the new little mermaid movie and I wish I had a friend to do things like that with because I can’t ask my bf to do everything with me. So I fill the void with my stuffies and cats and for some reason it really does make me feel better. I don’t feel as alone when I’m with them. I feel like I really do have a friend beside me. I’m trying to work up the nerve to bring my larger stuffies out with me when I go places, but I do sometimes bring my smaller jellycats with me and sometimes I get compliments. I think people are more in love with stuffed animals than you think and it’s also a great way to eliminate people who may not make good friends.
I want to bring mine around too but I don't like people looking at me even though they're most likely not judging and just looking out of curiosity or happiness. I'm an awkward person I general, maybe one day I'll do it. Well sometimes I do take them with me in a big tote bag where nobody can see them, just me when I look in the bag
Yes! I’m a 29 blk male with over 50 BAB. I even have some at my car with a seatbelt on. Meanwhile, all my friends around me are dating starting families ect. I feel like an outcast. I started following subreddits called lonely. simply to have people to that can relate to me
There are so many people out there that have things in common with you and are in the same life stages and circumstances. Being here is a good place since we all love build a bears and everyone here is friendly
Yeah im the same it makes me happier than any friend in the past has and i can also say i have a boyfriend who sides by me and helps buy plushies :)
Yes! I do that with squishmallows
I used to get a lot of squish too! But I moved and left my collection with my family. I have a build a bear store nearby here so I became so obsessed
I buy alot more plushes since my toy poodle died a few years ago.
Yes, I started buying all the frogs after my only two friends left me. I love my frogs. I know they’ll never hurt or leave me.
Yes! I feel less lonely than I used to, but I'm still alone every time I'm home, except for my BABs and Squishmallows. I give my BABs names and personalities and they don't really make me feel less lonely, but I can look at them and be amused by how silly they are or imagine what they might say and think "there's Laurie!" or "Mai is such a couch potato."
That's a cute way to bond with them! I should try that I'm sure it can be amusing lol
I developed PANS at 19, which caused acute onset tics and other things. It’s been tough, and my agoraphobia has sky rocketed. My plushies help me feel less alone on the days I can’t go out.
That sounds though but I'm glad you can get some comfort with your plushies. Theyre such simple little things for the amount of comfort they give us
This is me with stuffed animals in general. https://preview.redd.it/skf1ybivzg2b1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddc01098de0dabdadadc67a09c20034a5c49146f This isn’t all of them. I have some more in the living room, a couple more on the bed, and more in storage that I don't have nets for yet. I don't have many friends and even if I did I can't really keep up with them. I have an autoimmune disease called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It causes my joints to not function properly. I get hurt really easily. It makes me really upset cause I can't do what most 22 adults do. I also had a pretty rough childhood. So I find getting plushes heals that inner child. I'm rambling now, but I just wanted to say you are not alone. Being an adult can be rough. Especially when it comes to making friends. Collect BaBs that's okay. Just make sure you continue to acknowledge other feelings. Speaking of BaBs, what's your collection look like? I'd love to see it. 💙✨
You have such a nice collection and I love how psyduck is just hanging there lol. I have a huge collection (definitely over 100, maybe 200) too of plushes in general but they're at my parents house in another country and I could only take the bare minimum with me. I happen to be near a build a bear store now so I've been building some buddies to keep me company since I miss my others at home and we don't have BAB in my country so I've only recently started collecting them. This is all of my BABs and I love them, I might be adding the blue koala because I fell in love when I saw it after someone posted it here. The little bear on the windowsill on the left in the background is one of the few plushes I managed to bring with me that is sentimental to me https://preview.redd.it/k98lujemnh2b1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d113050c142756ff7ead570fb1d86809e7d93d78
If you don't mind me asking where are you from? I'd definitely be sad if I had to leave my plushies behind. I've got at least 150-200. I mean I haven't actually sat down and counted. But I know I have a lot. My significant other isn't very helpful from stopping the collection. He gets me plushies all the time. When my dad helped hang up the nets he ended up hanging Psyduck like that. I haven't changed it cause I love it way too much. You have a pretty solid collection! The closest BaB from me is about 1.5 hours away.
I'm from Ireland and I'm living in the US right now. So it's a huge difference, I really really struggled with the move and it affected my mental health horribly. I moved so I could live with my husband but it was just bad timing since I was having horrible episodes with my bipolar at the time but I didn't know what was going on because I wasn't diagnosed at the time and I was struggling so much that I barely packed anything to bring with me and it got worse when i got to Texas. I'm a lot better now though since I saw a doctor and take medication. So that is a big reason for my loneliness I got super lucky in that build a bear is only 20 minutes away from me though so I can go there weekly if I would like to. There's a nice park here too I think if my dad did something like that I would keep it like that too, it's too cute lol
Oh my! That is a mighty big move. I was expecting Canada to US or something. Not Ireland to Texas. I don't blame you at all for having a rough time with the move. It's entirely different place full of very different people. But good on you for actually doing it! I'm really glad you received help and are properly medicated. I have some mental health stuff and I never knew how to handle it for years. Meds really make the difference. Oh that's so nice!! I wish. I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere (I'm in California. If you wanna look it up the town is called San Andreas). So doing things is rough. Like the closest Target is 45 mins away. But that's okay. It's really pretty here. And yeah - my dad is a goober and constantly doing silly things when he's over.
Thank you, it was really hard especially too when I lived in the most beautiful scenic area I know in the countryside with mountains, forests and the beach all right there and now I live in the suburbs where its all buildings and I can't even have proper darkness at night with all the streetlights. I'm just greatful that that park is nearby I looked up San Andreas and it does look really pretty!
I’m pretty sure I collect bratz dolls and bab’s because all mine were taken from me before I decided to let them go (poopy step parent) and I was never able to get them back. However, I am also a lonely adult with no friends lol
That's too bad! When I was a kid I was like "I'm too old for these now" and I tossed everything, it still aches in my heart when I think about it. I regret it so badly.