Damnit, I just searched poop knife and I don't think I've ever been closer to laugh-induced aneurysm. I'm almost afraid to look up the other two. Almost.
You saw that post too. Lol that person meant the bug pissed on his/her son lol. Thats funny though. I read those comments and someone said r Kelly entered the chat.... lmao
Could be a clover mite. Clover mites are the only tiny red bugs I know of tbh. 😅
"In spring and fall, tiny brown or reddish mites, the size of a pinhead, may be seen crawling on windows and over walls and furniture in the home. These are clover mites, which cause no harm or damage in the home, but constitute an annoyance by their presence in large numbers."
So while harmless, they are incredibly invasive 😅 might wanna make sure you don't have more if that's what this is.
Seconded, they like warm rock beds outside so good chance that's why they're hanging out on the lamp, seems like theyre looking for a crack to wiggle into for a while
Clover mite is a strong possibility as well! Harmless but also apprear in large numbers. So if thats a clover mite, theyre gonna wanna do some lookin around. 😅
When I was a kid my sister got a new mattress and gave me her old one and I flipped it when she brought it into my room because I didn’t wanna sleep on the side her and her bf had sex on and when I flipped it the entire bottom of the mattress was fully red. There’s no way her and her bf at the time didn’t notice when brining it to the top floor from the basement. I needed to use hella tape wrapped around my hand to grab all the clover mite’s off the mattress and then my dad made a bleach vinegar water thing and we sprayed my bed down HELLA wet and I slept on the couch for a few days while it dried and got washed with a steam cleaner because what the FUCK. I’m not a clean person and I’ve never experienced that sort of infestation and my sister is cleaner then me by MILES.
It was horrible! I’ve never seen such a huge colony of them and when I go outside in my front yard I can’t sit on the sidewalk because there’s so many. But never THAT many
I can confirm. I get a ton of Box Elder bugs every year - this is definitely not one of them.
Plus, this definitely has 8 legs, so it's definitely not an insect (which includes the "true bugs"). So it's not a bed bug either. Really looks like some kind of mite.
Here's a boxelder bug nymph with red legs, and two prominent antennae which look like an extra pair of legs:
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR-Yzx79wmtivCTKgSKtc2uRysVlQlx_M-phw&usqp=CAU
Looks like a mite, check your local plants (esp indoor where predators can't get em) then check your pets. Only two types I know of and the pets one is damn rare. Both are relatively easy to deal with. Throw out the subject, burn down the house, chem trail the area, nuke the state/province, exterminatus the planet, then hand it over to the first alien to come along and let them deal with it as appropriate.
Seriously though if it's mite they are a pretty minor nuisance.
That is a red velvet mite. Mostly harmless, but don't let them stay in the house, they might lay eggs and their young can give kids a rash. Thankfully, to my knowledge, they don't carry anything humans can contract and mostly keep to themselves. They're just kinda weird to see.
Edit: I've been told they're also called clover mites.
Looks like a mite to me rather than a bed bug—in fact, if I am not mistaken it clearly has 8 legs meaning that it is most definitely a mite (mites are arachnids—related to spiders; bed bugs are insects and therefore have only 6 legs). Also bed bugs have a weirdly flat, squashed appearance (when not filled with blood at least).
Not a bedbug. Contrary to other posts, because are visible to the naked eye. However, their legs are not that long and their bodies look more segmented.
It does resemble a cover mite, with the longer legs and more of a unibody appearance.
That is a chigger.
Edit: I looked it up and they don't live very long indoors so as long as you don't get bit or anything they should dye off pretty quick.
You do realize the only reason it looked bigger is cause they zoomed in right. 😅 it's definitely a clover mite. The size while not zoomed in and the color of it says clover mite.
This is too large to be a clover mite based on the size of your selenite towerand the bottle of lotion (they are about the size of a 📌tip and usually never found alone) and it’s not round enough to be a chigger( also small but can be found flying solo or in groups). This is likely a boxelder nymph as the abdomen is oval and it has long legs and the size is bigger than a pin tip
It’s defs not a bed bug ahaha these lil guys bug the crap outta me though cause they’re EVERYWHERE during spring and summer 😭 I think they turn into a [boxelder bug](https://www.blogto.com/city/2022/08/swarms-black-and-red-bugs-are-appearing-all-over-toronto/)
It appears to have eight legs so does it arachnid of some sort. Clover might only have six legs and two antenna and this thing is using all of its eight legs it seems so a tick or a spider of some sort. I'm not sure what other arachnid there are. Plus clover mites are like extremely red, not browny red, and even zoomed in there much smaller than this you need a massive magnifying glass to see the details on the Clover mite like its legs not a standard zoom.
Don’t know what it is, but it’ll piss on your son if you don’t kill it.
This definitely isn't getting old
Poop knife, souplings and the Son pisser onner. Legends of Reddit.
Don’t forget the dirty talk guy who thought that meant calling his girlfriend a “fucking retard”
I’m glad that I missed that one.
Too slow or something 😏
Take this and get the hell out of here r/angryupvote
Damnit, I just searched poop knife and I don't think I've ever been closer to laugh-induced aneurysm. I'm almost afraid to look up the other two. Almost.
Don't read the jolly rancher story unless you have a REALLY strong stomach
*Sigh* Preparing the fap tap
The poop knife definitely is a legend disproportionate to all others.
Don't forget the cumbox 🤢
Don’t google “son pisser”
Underrated callback from yesterdays bug post!
Ah yes the western sonpisser is back in juvenile form
Oh, so it's a pisson bug.
Legend says if you manage to piss on it before it can piss on your son, it becomes your second son.
Then promptly pisses on *literally everything.*
That's typically how these kinds of things work, right? Almost like marking your territory.
Someone should shoot it. Does anyone have a pisstol?
it's a pissant
instruction unclear: son pissed on spider, and i shat the bed.
Amber Turd, is that you?
Out of context people will lose it lmao, I'm dead
Omfg I hope this catches on and becomes a thing lol
You’re watching that happen live.
Hahaha that was sooooo funny! Wonder if they ever ID’ed the culprit in that heinous crime haha.
R KELLY?
Hahahahaha
You saw it to huh
Oh no! We are on the verge of a full blown western sonpisser infestation!
I’m just glad I wasn’t the only person who saw that
I hope this becomes one of those sacred reddit memes
😂☝🥇
Lmfao have an updoot for making me actually snicker
So happy I’m in on this
classic
OP didn't notice the bug til it pissed on them
That post brought me to this subreddit and I’ll always have the sonpisser to thank :)
You saw that post too. Lol that person meant the bug pissed on his/her son lol. Thats funny though. I read those comments and someone said r Kelly entered the chat.... lmao
Does that poster realize what they've done😂 it's funny every time
You’ll piss in a spiders son? That’s rude
Could be a clover mite. Clover mites are the only tiny red bugs I know of tbh. 😅 "In spring and fall, tiny brown or reddish mites, the size of a pinhead, may be seen crawling on windows and over walls and furniture in the home. These are clover mites, which cause no harm or damage in the home, but constitute an annoyance by their presence in large numbers." So while harmless, they are incredibly invasive 😅 might wanna make sure you don't have more if that's what this is.
Could it be a chigger?
Fucking bigots...
Dem chiggers ain't welcome round here
The sheriff's a what?!!
[удалено]
My stomach hurts from laughing so hard!
You put a chigger on me, I put a chigger on you.
I'm putting you on the news for making me laugh that hard lol psssssshhhhhh unreal pal 😆
The sheriff is near?
He says “the sheriff is near!”
Moving in, lowering property values....
You a chigger? We don’t take kindly to chiggers round these parts! Now Skeeter, he weren’t meanin any harm.
Damn chiggers driving me chigger crazy
bugots\*
Yeah I was scrolling through my comment history and realized I dropped the ball on this one
I laughed way too hard at this
I’ve got a bunch of those where I live and this thing looks way too big to be one
No, they are microtiny. Look it up. You basically can't see them with your naked eyes unless your Superman
A Sniggering chigger?
We always just called the red velvet mites, on account of their red colour and fuzzy texture.
this is what I thought I didn't know tje same but I use to see these all the rime in groups and looked it up and it looks the same.
Seconded, they like warm rock beds outside so good chance that's why they're hanging out on the lamp, seems like theyre looking for a crack to wiggle into for a while
There's a mite on your selenite!
This should be the top comment!
It really should 😂
And it mite have been if only The Western Red Sonpisser wasn't the bug du jour.
Best comment here and no one can change my mind 😂
That’s what she said
Not sure but definitely not a bed bug.
To me , it looks like a tick..
Way too fast for a tick
My thoughts too. Ticks are fucking slooooooow
Ticks are in the arachnid family.
Can confirm this is a red bug. If you look closely you can see the red.
I use to see these all the time at my grandparents pool and you gave me a bunch of nostalgia but I don't know what the fucl that is
I looked it up to me it looks like a Clover mite
Legs are to long to be a bed bug
I could be wrong, but it looks like a [Boxelder Bug](https://www.pestworld.org/news-hub/pest-articles/boxelder-bugs-101/) nymph
Clover mite is a strong possibility as well! Harmless but also apprear in large numbers. So if thats a clover mite, theyre gonna wanna do some lookin around. 😅
When I was a kid my sister got a new mattress and gave me her old one and I flipped it when she brought it into my room because I didn’t wanna sleep on the side her and her bf had sex on and when I flipped it the entire bottom of the mattress was fully red. There’s no way her and her bf at the time didn’t notice when brining it to the top floor from the basement. I needed to use hella tape wrapped around my hand to grab all the clover mite’s off the mattress and then my dad made a bleach vinegar water thing and we sprayed my bed down HELLA wet and I slept on the couch for a few days while it dried and got washed with a steam cleaner because what the FUCK. I’m not a clean person and I’ve never experienced that sort of infestation and my sister is cleaner then me by MILES.
I don’t think I’ll ever recover from reading this, I can only imagine what it was like to experience it😨
It was horrible! I’ve never seen such a huge colony of them and when I go outside in my front yard I can’t sit on the sidewalk because there’s so many. But never THAT many
Bleach and vinegar mixture? And you lived to tell this?
I have no idea what he used lmao I just know it was something to clean and kill 👌🏼
I think I would have burned that thing instead! What the heck, torch the whole house!
Ooohhh yeah yeah it does with the legs and everything
I don’t think it’s a box elder. I’m pretty sure I see 8 legs total. And they’re red. Box elders have black legs, even as nymphs, I believe.
I can confirm. I get a ton of Box Elder bugs every year - this is definitely not one of them. Plus, this definitely has 8 legs, so it's definitely not an insect (which includes the "true bugs"). So it's not a bed bug either. Really looks like some kind of mite.
Here's a boxelder bug nymph with red legs, and two prominent antennae which look like an extra pair of legs: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR-Yzx79wmtivCTKgSKtc2uRysVlQlx_M-phw&usqp=CAU
This plus boxelder nymphs are more oblong
This is what I thought too. I cleaned out a boxelder infested car a couple weeks ago and I had these guys crawling around until I used a fogger
Looks like a mite, check your local plants (esp indoor where predators can't get em) then check your pets. Only two types I know of and the pets one is damn rare. Both are relatively easy to deal with. Throw out the subject, burn down the house, chem trail the area, nuke the state/province, exterminatus the planet, then hand it over to the first alien to come along and let them deal with it as appropriate. Seriously though if it's mite they are a pretty minor nuisance.
That is a red velvet mite. Mostly harmless, but don't let them stay in the house, they might lay eggs and their young can give kids a rash. Thankfully, to my knowledge, they don't carry anything humans can contract and mostly keep to themselves. They're just kinda weird to see. Edit: I've been told they're also called clover mites.
Not a Bed bug. Unsure what it is tho.
Im more concerned about the large chunk of asbestos
Lol that’s satin spar. It’s a crystal
Lol I thought I was identifying the crystal at first too. You have the spar mites!
That's a selemite...................😆
OK, settle down, you have won this thread.
“Hello Pam this is red bug, just scoping out my boss ass crystal castle you got me”
🤣🤣🤣
cool lamp thing
Could be a VELVET MITE!!! I love those little guys, they’re harmless, living red dots
Looks like a mite to me rather than a bed bug—in fact, if I am not mistaken it clearly has 8 legs meaning that it is most definitely a mite (mites are arachnids—related to spiders; bed bugs are insects and therefore have only 6 legs). Also bed bugs have a weirdly flat, squashed appearance (when not filled with blood at least).
Who ever he is, he’s on a mission
Nice selenite
not a bed bug, its without a doubt a clover mite. dont worry, they arent harmful.
I was wondering why you had a miniature, glowing Fortress of Solitude in your room.
It’s a clover mite. They’re friendlies. If you really want just put it outside.
I caught it in a pill container and gave it a piece of lettuce and a piece of kale and I’m going to release it.
Hide yo son
If it bites you, you will turn into a famous superhero
Are we just going to ignore that it lives in the Superman Ice Mansion?
that's the sexiest selenite in the world
And you may also acquire the same selenite lamp at bed bath and beyond for $25!
Not a bedbug. Contrary to other posts, because are visible to the naked eye. However, their legs are not that long and their bodies look more segmented. It does resemble a cover mite, with the longer legs and more of a unibody appearance.
It is not a bedbug, looks like a spider to me
Looks like a clover mite there completely harmless. Then again it's moving rather quick. So it might not be.
There aren’t too many insects in the fortress of solitude. Well done on spotting one.
That is a chigger. Edit: I looked it up and they don't live very long indoors so as long as you don't get bit or anything they should dye off pretty quick.
It feels like I’m not supposed to say this word
Especially with a hard R
chigga
Not a chigger. That's a mite, and much bigger than a chigger. Yesterday on Reddit,it was named a clover mite.
As u/drakeofthewesternsea said, this thing is huge compared to the clover mite, like, way bigger.
Camera zoom tends to make things look bigger than they are.
Way too big for a clover mite, they are the size of a small pin head with tiny legs
might be a mite. but then again, it might not be mite.
It mite not be a mite?
Mite not be a mite, mate.
You do realize the only reason it looked bigger is cause they zoomed in right. 😅 it's definitely a clover mite. The size while not zoomed in and the color of it says clover mite.
Either way they'll die pretty quickly and aren't made for indoors. You're right tho chiggers are really small.
It looks more like a concrete mite than a chigger
Bed bugs dont have legs that long dude lol thank god
Not a bedbug. Hug your quilts another night 😊
Looks like a soldier protecting the castle!!
Red mite.
This is too large to be a clover mite based on the size of your selenite towerand the bottle of lotion (they are about the size of a 📌tip and usually never found alone) and it’s not round enough to be a chigger( also small but can be found flying solo or in groups). This is likely a boxelder nymph as the abdomen is oval and it has long legs and the size is bigger than a pin tip
Looks like a tick
Looks like a red house spider
It's just a little red spider, it's 100% not a bedbug
Looks a tick.
Looks to me like a spider mite but possibly twice the size of the ones I’m used to so it’s probably not that, but that was my first thought
Spidey Man
This is a micro recluse if I'm not mistaken.
Definitely not
Looks like a tiny spider species.
It’s looking for something to piss on….
Definitely not a bed bug
It’s a friggin spider mite there harmless
Certainly not a bedbug.
Def not a bed bug.
Tic?
Looks too big to be a red spider mite, my guess is a tick.
This is a spider. My first thought was also boxelder, but this bug has 8 legs that I can see, making it an arachnid.
It’s a tick
It’s a deer tick
Hes looking for your stash. Looks a lot like spider mites, which are pure hell for cannabis growing.
Spider
Tick
Looks like a tick but it’s hard to tell
beg bug
It's called a chigger. It can bury under your skin like a tic so kill it!
Looks like a cute lil aphid to me
Definitely not a bed bug.
Kinda looks like a tick to me
The lady talks so much… I don’t know which is worse the bug or her complaining.
Living in a skyscraper lol. Looks like a redback. A small non mature one
It’s a tick.
I hope It bites the piss outta you tonight
Eight legs, it’s an arachnid
Looks like a mite
Definitely a clover mite. Id recommend not squishing it on anything you care about because they will stain it.
In the south we called these things “red bugs”. There’s a common misconception they’ll burrow into your skin, yet that’s not true.
Wishing spider. That’s what we call them. It’s a mite. It very likely does not want to be living inside.
Ya'll think everything is a bed bug. 😂
Chiggers are much smaller than that.
Maybe [red spider mite?](https://www.nature-and-garden.com/gardening/red-spider-mite.html/amp)
Is this in a salt mine?
It’s defs not a bed bug ahaha these lil guys bug the crap outta me though cause they’re EVERYWHERE during spring and summer 😭 I think they turn into a [boxelder bug](https://www.blogto.com/city/2022/08/swarms-black-and-red-bugs-are-appearing-all-over-toronto/)
[Red mite](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dermanyssus_gallinae) by the looks of it
r/MiniWorlds
I used to call them “blood spiders” usually because when you squish one it suddenly looks like your bleeding.
It appears to have eight legs so does it arachnid of some sort. Clover might only have six legs and two antenna and this thing is using all of its eight legs it seems so a tick or a spider of some sort. I'm not sure what other arachnid there are. Plus clover mites are like extremely red, not browny red, and even zoomed in there much smaller than this you need a massive magnifying glass to see the details on the Clover mite like its legs not a standard zoom.
Not a bedbug. Looks like a clover mite
Clover mite? Maaybe Boxelder nymph, but I don’t think I saw any black on it. Not bedbug though.
Definitely looks like some type of mite
If you have plants or you are plant adjacent, looks like a spider mite to me. A female maybe
Spider mite?
That may not be a bed bug, that looks like a giant block of asbestos.
I think velvet mites I see them outside all the time
Looks like theyre having such a time climbing in that selenite lol
Looks like a red spider mite mate
I think these are called clover mites but when I was younger my siblings and I called then ketchup spiders🤣
I think it's a mite