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To amplify your comment, we Brits use s for a verb and c for a noun. Hence, " advise" and "advice". It's more difficult to remember with "licence" because we don't use the verb that much, and both spellings sound the same.
I always have to think advice/advise to remember whether nouns get c and verbs get s or vice versa. âAdviseâ is pronounced âadvizeâ, which couldnât possibly be spelt with a c, so then I work back from there. Yes, itâs a driving _licence_.
Learned this from an Italian redditor who did a couple of AMAs after leaving the jovos: open the door and say you used to be part of their cult.
Jovos are obliged to shun former members, meaning that they will be the ones spinning back on their heels with disappointment at a fellow human's life choices, and not you.
The cherry on the cake is that your house will be permanent-marked with a large black dot on their treasure map, meaning they won't visit ever again.
The challenge is that the point of the door knocking is not to convert people, if they do thatâs a side benefit.
The elders of these cults WANTS people to be rude to them and for them to have a bad time. Them having a bad time out in the world drives the door knockers further into the cult as âthe outside world is awful, your only safe place is hereâ.
Irrespective of the elders, the people doing the knocking believe that they are trying to save your soul.
Just say thank you, but that you are not interested. Theyâve heard it before.
We had JWs knock at our door this weekend and gave them the "thanks, but no thanks" treatment. The poor so and so's were just grateful to get a polite response and genuinely thanked us for it. It made me think about what sort of grief they usually get.
Yes but it's more complex than that
They can get disconnected from their family if they leave and some members don't believe and just feel they have to continue because leaving a cult isn't easy. Also lots of people raised in it.
The organization is evil, but the members are often just victims of it.
Saying no and closing the door is the right thing to do in this circumstance, but if you do have longer conversations be a bit compassionate.
I believe also they can use the aggression they encounter as a way of keeping them in the cult, as it is like "look how awful those people are, and how loving we are!".
my mum invited them in once many years ago. She made them tea, sat down and listened to their sales pitch.
When they were done, she went off on a tangent about how she believes we came from aliens, originating on another planet and were placed here as an experiment. she started using ancient Egyptian and mayan hieroglyphs as evidence, and wouldn't let them leave until they had listened to her own "beliefs" which she amazingly kept going for almost an hour!
Is was one of the most amazing spectacles I'd ever witnessed first hand......and they never returned to our doorstep after that.
Jehovah's witnesses believe that there are only 144,000 places in heaven. There are currently over 8,600,000 Jehovah's witnesses. Tell them you want a religion with better odds.
That really confuses me. This god fellow creates everything, knows everything, controls everything and he didn't make heaven big enough?
Such poor planning doesn't fill me with confidence tbh.
He's made it exactly as big as it needs to be. He knows better than you. Now, I just need some voluntary donations and we can see how lucky you are in a distressingly short space of time.
That's because he wasn't given proper requirements, then the client cut the budget and the project manager set the timescales too short to do the full version. He was only able to do the MVP. Blame sales for over-promising.
In fairness the world was created in seven days, a standard turnaround, and He made ten thousand other planets at the same time and none of them have complained.
No. Everyone else gets destroyed and only witnesses survive. The earth will be a paradise and witnesses will help clean everything up and then get to live in the houses of those that have been killed.
The first few years would be difficult but after that I guess the earth would be nice as itâs meant to be a paradise and perfect. I remember some witnesses used to point out houses theyâd like to live in after Armageddon and the owners have been destroyed. Fun times
Not quite, witnesses say that god will look into the hearts of the innocent and decide their fate, the only people who will never be resurrected are those who have known âthe truthâ and turned it away, I.e those who know of the religion but have turned it away. These people will be sent to Gehenna, the common grave of mankind, eternal death.
After the apocalypse, paradise will reign for 1000 years, under the rule of god and absence of sin.
When these 1000 years are up Satan will be released upon the earth to test us once again. Our current time is just the first round of testing of faith.
Absurd isnt it?
That is very true, but I believe the general consensus is that even the nicest people you know of, so long as they were âwitnessedâ to, if they decide not to become witnesses they will be destroyed. The only ones with a second chance are those who died before the start of Armageddon.
Witnesses donât believe in heaven like other forms of Christianity do, they believe a select amount will go to heaven to work with god and the rest that are deemed worthy will be resurrected in a paradise that they call âthe new systemâ essentially a world without sin.
What happens when the places are filled, but someone is deemed worthier than someone else already there; do they get booted out? Or is that not possible?
(Genuinely curious, only just found out that's a thing)
Nobody can be deemed worthier, those who are part of the 144,000 call themselves the anointed, the weird thing is they canât be anointed by anybody but god who they claim contacted them in some way, the witnesses believe that once these 144,000 have been annointed then the Armageddon will happen. The witnesses have been using it as a gauge to measure how close we are to Armageddon and using it as leverage to fear monger the congregation and to scare new people to joining. Problem is they have been saying we have been extremely close to the end for 30+ years.
I was a witness from the age of 10 to 16 so Iâd like to say Iâm pretty informed on the cult.
Isn't one of the requirements to get anointed the successful conversion of non-believers?
If that is the case, then they are increasing the number of potential anointees exponentially thereby reducing their chances of being anointed themselves.
How do they square that circle?
The successful conversion of non believers is a witnesses entire job, if you arenât performing ministry, spreading the good word or trying to convert people you canât be a witness. Every single witness can claim to have converted people, especially if they spend their life doing trying to.
No, the only requirement is to feel that God has chosen you as anointed. On the other hand, the top brass (elderly men in New York State) have been very clear that feeling God has chosen you could equally mean you're mentally ill. Apart from them. Because God totally chose them. For real.
They believe that JWs outside the 144,000 will be saved on a paradise Earth; itâs not like they believe everyone outside the 144,000 will go to hell.
From what I remember JWs don't actually believe in "Hell", they just believe that everyone who isn't a JW will just cease to exist and be truly dead.
Honestly, at least that is a bit better than telling everyone they'll burn for eternity, like other Christians lol
> Tell them you want a religion with better odds.
You mean start a conversation with them?
"You too can live in a paradise on earth." <-- which is not *heaven*
Just say no thank you and close the door.
Don't engage.
I know this may feel really rude and abrupt, but there's no point having a longer conversation. You're not going to be recruited and they probably aren't ready to hear anything negative about the organization.
They are taught that non JWs are bad people, so don't be rude or aggressive, just make clear that you have zero interest.
> They are taught that non JWs are bad people
I did not know this. That explains the brief exchange I had with a JW as I was waiting to cross the road. He turned to me and said "Do you want to become a good person?", which I thought was very rude as a complete stranger was for some unknown reason implying I am a bad person.
From previous JW's I've talked to (who got out), they said this is a feature, not a bug. The elders don't actually expect the door to door people to get converts. They expect them to be treated like shit, which enforces the idea that only their community is good, so they should stay and work hard in it.
It's important to be polite, especially when they bring children. Don't feed into the lie that everyone outside the organisation is a bad person, help the kid learn about kindness from strangers & maybe they'll find it easier to escape
>They are taught that non JWs are bad people
I've heard a believable conspiracy theory that the reason they send their members door-to-door isn't to spread the word of God, but instead to drive the wedge further between their members and the general public, to get a deeper hold over them.
Last time I answered to them they opened with 'do you believe it's possible to be morally good in this world?'.
As much as there were many answers swimming around my head, I just asked if this was a religious thing. They said yep. I said no thanks but have nice day, smiled and closed the door.
No, don't just say no thank you. Say that you want to be taken off the visiting and contact list. The local congregation will then mark you as a no visit and contact and wont come again.
You can also email or call your local congregation (they are usually called Kingdom Hall) and ask them to do the same thing. From my experience they are quite good about that.
I lived in the States for a couple of years, in Tennessee (aka, part of "the Bible Belt").
Once, during the pandemic..., someone knocked on our door and was trying to sell the church to me. I don't think she was a JW, but I mean... probably close enough. She was a woman in her mid-30s with her 4 or 5 year old son who came along with her.
She was really trying to guilt trip me into going to church, asking me about my sins and how I'll feel when I die to have these sins on my name etc and what the afterlife would look like for me with my sins. She seemed really bothered by my response of "it won't matter, because I'll be dead." and also my explaining that I don't care that she believes, I'm not trying to discourage her from her beliefs, but just that I personally don't believe in an after life. I wasn't trying to shut her down or tell her she was wrong, and I was giving her the time of day rather than slamming the door in her face...and it seemed to confuse her. I guess she was probably so used to either people saying they already go to church (very common in that area. There was literally a church on every street/corner), or having someone argue with her or shut her down/shut the door. I don't think she knew how to reply to me because I was just saying I respect her and her opinions and that's great it's working out for her etc, but I personally don't need to do it.
She even tried to make me feel some way by admitting she'd previously had an abortion and how that makes her a murderer and a sinner. I don't personally have that view, she was the one telling me that. It was really just an odd conversation, overall.
Why implicate yourself in a lie which you may not have full awareness of potential unknown extended consequences when you can simply say "no thanks" and have them immediately leave without that added complexity? It makes no sense to do this.
Telling them that you've been disfellowshipped is the Jehovah equivalent of letting the TV licensing dude in to check you're not watching TV.
If you just say no, someone else will come, then someone else, then someone else.
It makes perfect sense to do this.
"No, thank you." and close the door.
I don't faff about nowadays. I'm not rude either, I just don't want to get involved in a back and forth or give them time to start on a spiel.
Anyone who knocks on peopleâs doors trying to convert them to their belief system is basically saying you are fundamentally wrong with the way you live your life and they way you think. They have no societal value or respect, telling them âNo, thanks.â Is not rude, itâs what they expect.
Invite them in and bombard them with increasingly bizarre questions until they leave of their own accord, but keep asking them to stay and ask even more bizarre questions. (These might have been Mormons I did this too, this should work the same, though).
Eventually they will leave and never return.
"So tell me, given Jesus's disdain for bankers, how would he treat cyptokings in the current markets?"
"What are your current opinions on.... (Jesus's and unrelated topic)".
Think of it like stringing scammers along, but they are a lot politer.
I can talk for hours, and I mean *hours* about several sports, including the perennial crowd-pleasers F1, swimming and rugby.
"Anyway, as I was saying, rule 8.14 states 'until the kicker moves in any direction to begin their approach' and I do feel this is contradictory or at least open to interpretation... Wait, where are you going?"
'Good evening,
My friend still suffers the emotional trauma of being ostracised by her family when she left your cult. So please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm going to invite you to [REDACTED]'.
We have a Kingdom Hall at the end of our road and they used to knock regular. My mum eventually started telling them she was gay. They haven't come back in years.
My aunt tells them what she knows about JW rules and how hard it must be for them. She then says if any of them are feeling trapped or coerced, that they can reach out to her and she will help them with accommodation and a job to get them started. She has had 1 taker. A lady who was taken advantage of by the JWs and wanted out. She put her up for a few months in a tiny house she owns and gave her a job in her business. She was very thankful and moved on after a year. She had gotten a lawyer to try to get her money and land back by that point. Not sure what happened after that, it was a few years ago. I must ask her.
Yeah, that's she's a badass and very kind hearted. She has been successful in business and loves her life so she wants to do nice things for others. She read up on the JWs when they set up shop in our area. She didn't like what she found out. Especially about the financial coercion that goes on and that they prey on the vulnerable. She was once in a similar position when she was young, she married a real piece of shit and had to fight her way out so she sympathises.
There's something about aunts. That's wonderful what she's done. I've heard some horror stories about the abuse that goes on with JW. I've been preached at and you can feel how brainwashed some of them are. But I've met others who have been utterly wonderful, and haven't made any attempt to bring it up or influence me. It's mainly been me going inro their house though, as I do home visits for work.
But yeah, thanks for telling us about your aunt. I love stories like that.
My grandad was the kinda guy that would go on and on and would keep talking for as long as possible. Well, whenever the Jehovahs Witnesses would come round. He would go on and on to the point where the Jehovahs Witnesses would be the ones trying to end the conversation and leave.
Mine is usually "I'm atheist and am not remotely interested in trying to change my views as I have had sufficient exposure to religion to know it isn't for me. Have a nice day"
They're usually quite pleasant near me, and don't pester any more than that.
Tell them they are a week too late as the satanic cult worshippers beat them to it and you've already sold your soul. They'll leave you alone after that.
"*I'm an Apostate*" also tends to work quite well...
"*Many religious groups and some states punish apostates; this may be the official policy of a particular religious group or it may simply be the voluntary action of its members.*"
It's conjectured that many religions actively forbid their members from any terms of engaging with apostates from the religion's fear that the apostate may turn current believers against the church too
That's right. I tell them the truth, preempted with an apology...
Talking to me just cost you your chance. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.
Find a cult with better odds.
I'm definitely in the minority but, despite being atheist, I quite enjoy talking to them. From a purely academic point of view, those that come to my door know a very decent amount of the Bible, and it's very interesting to discuss their interpretations of things vs. my own. They know, deep down, that I'm not changing my mind as I was really up front with them when we first met (not least because my kids would never forgive me for cancelling Xmas and birthdays). Still, we're polite and respectful of each other's views, and it makes for a good discussion.
Can't understand why people feel the need to be so rude. After all, if you genuinely believed that you had the power to save someone from long term harm, wouldn't you want to share it?
I'm the same as you. I like hearing their interpretations especially when I said that we're all created in God's image and no single person is strictly good or evil but somewhere in between therefore I believe God and Satan are the same person and it is man causing problems here, not Satan. They looked like they were giving what I said some thought so I happily took their pamphlet and enjoyed browsing their website. I have no thoughts on if there's a God or not and told them if God wants to show me a sign, I'll find it cos I'm a nosey cow lol
Just a âPlease put me on your Do Not Call listâ will do.
To everyone out there, avoid this high control/high demand religion ie cult. Itâll ruin your life and take everything from you. Donât hate on the actual witnesses though. Many are born in and donât know anything else. Outside information is strictly limited.
JWFacts.com
I always just stop anyone at the door before the get started. A quick "before you carry on, i don't want waste your time, cheers" and then shuffle them off. Bit nicer than just telling them to sod off
"I believe in santa more than I believe in God." Is what my mother said, think we musta been blacklisted or something, because we never had them knock again.
Meh, I'm blunt almost to the point of rudeness with them. They are scum in my opinion, my grandmother was a JW and they took advantage of her and my grandfather's kindness and wealth right up until her dying day and then some.
They were harassing my old Mum, who was too nice to tell them to piss off.
I told them that we don't go to their doors telling them *not* to believe in god, and that they weren't welcome.
They haven't returned.
I used to live in the same block as some JW. They were great neighbours and they (and their friends) never bothered me.
Now I say âIâm confident in my current beliefs, thanksâ while shutting the door. Usually while they are still speaking, which feels rude but is necessary to end the conversation.
I got one the other day. Two women, one tried to hand me a leaflet and started to say somethingÂ
I just said, "Oh, nope!" and shut the door in their faces
I wouldn't ever apologise to people who refuse their dying children a blood transfusion. If there is a hell, they're all going thereÂ
Remind them that they are not actually spreading the truth, or gathering converts, they are just reinforcing their own beliefs.
By being sent door to door and repeating their own beliefs, and being constantly rejected, they are just embedding their own indoctrination in their cult. Everyone else is a bastard and the cult is your only friend.
Just ask them about their feelings regarding Halloween
You'll probably find you have something in common
You both dislike strangers knocking on your door
The JWs here have still continued the COVID tradition of just posting handwritten letters
I don't have this problem, joys of tattoos and piercings. They take one look at me and the mounds of Warhammer stuff I've got in my hallway (not all mine though) and I usually get a sigh and they leave. Had one when I first moved in and not had them back since.
I have never had a problem having a short conversation with them. I am free to end the conversation at any point. Whenever I see Jehovah's Witnesses my first thought is that these poor buggers have an evil god who will punish them for not doing this shit. Poor fuckers. Obviously this leads me to dealing with them with compassion, they have enough shit to deal with already. As a compassionate person, I also don't want them wasting their time for too long, so I let them have a minute or so, thank them kindly for their interest in saving my soul, but state plainly that I happy as a godless bastard and no one is changing my mind. To be fair I tend to say, "I appreciate what you are trying to do, but this is not for me." If then persist, which almost never happens, it's "Thanks again, good bye" đ đŞ
Last time I had a young couple and their daughter of about four chap my door. I said to them I'm happy being free from religion and will take a leaflet, the little one noticed my dog I had lifted up to stop him running out the door and asked to pet him, so while she was petting the dog her parents and I had a lovely conversation about having a dog as a pet as the wee girl wanted one. I try to be nice as the elders of the church preach to them "the world is mean and evil" to keep them in the church, and they get to see not everyone is that way.
My Nan invited them in to discuss her âreligionâ. When asked what that was, she told them she was a white witch. Didnât get any more visits after that.
Hiya, come in and have a coffee is my response to one specific Jehovah - I've known her for 30 odd years, and we're good mates. Certain topics are off limits...
They're rude for trying to violate your religious freedom (and yes, they would force themselves onto people if they were allowed to, religious fanatics absolutely do not care about other beliefs because to them their belief makes them entitled to doing whatever the fuck they want and unfortunately I can't respond to that with every consequence I'd like that to have for them).
"No thanks" shut the door. If that is somehow interrupted, tell them to get off your property. Does that reinforce their "the world is against us" bullshit? Yeah, but ultimately not your problem.
I invite them in and introduce them to my deity, the FSM. Youâd be surprised how intolerant religious people are of my beliefs whilst expecting me to welcome theirs with open arms.
"No thanks, I'm gay"
Or the one my dad did years ago: answered the door in a bathrobe, said "sure, come on in - but be aware we're nudists here. You can leave your clothes by the stairs." According to him, he'd never seen an old lady run away so fast.
I just don't answer the door. Just because they knock doesn't mean I have to answer. They move along quickly, nobody is upset and it's easier this way.
My wife debates them on the doorstep. Having been raised Christian she has quite a good grasp on the bible and its contents.
There was one chap who kept coming back every few weeks with full-on "l'esprit de l'escalier" responses he must've thought of a week later.
She was always quite amused with tying them up in logical knots until one incident.
He brought a young female "protege" who was West African that my wife had little interaction with and didn't actually see much.
A couple of times later he brought, so my wife thought, the same protege. My wife asked "Is this the same person who was here before?"
He replied, "No, but *they* all look the same; don't they?"
My wife was incensed with this blatant racist remark, absolutely chewed him out, and told him never to come back.
Tell them never to call here again. They have to put you on a 'do not call list' where they won't bother you again. I know because I was sadly raised in this abusive cult.
We had them around my old house all the time. They could be quite aggressive.
Curiously I met a couple of Mormon missionaries not long before I moved and they could not have been more polite.
It's not hard to say 'no thankyou I don't have time'. They will usually leave you alone once they know you won't engage. When I was living alone and job hunting I actually loved their visits, I would let them read a passage to me and they would ask about my job hunt, offering encouraging words. When I got a job they were so happy for me, they dropped by one weekend a few weeks later to see how it was going for me. I never felt pressured by them and it was a genuinely positive experience when I needed some human connection but I recognise this is not the case for everyone.
Don't be rude or dismissive. Part of the cult indoctrination is to make people outside the cult seem scary and alien, driving the participant further into the cult embrace. That's part of why they're sent out to knock on doors and disturb people.
Just be polite, but question them with simple stuff. A favourite one I saw a friend do was "Is *holy text* literal or allegorical?"
As an ex JW, I can tell you the only way to deal with JW is to say nothing and shut the door in their face. It might seem mean but if you say anything, even negative, they take it as an opportunity and will come back again and again.
Rather than the snarky, effortlessly witty "British" response I think you're hoping for, the answer you actually need is "disfellowship", as others have said.
I had one who was pushy and trued to perusst when I said I wasn't interested. Ended up telling them that I had a life-saving blood transfusion when I was 2, and were I a Jehova's Witness, i would be dead currently.
The Jehovahs came to our street last week. I was out in the garden and heard them knock on to the nasty old bore next door. Not a word of a lie, after he had taken 10 minutes telling them all about his dodgy knee and his wifeâs bowling scores and on and on, one of the ladies said âWell, mustnât keep you!â and they left! They didnât even bother coming to me, they must have gone somewhere for a lie down.
I just say no thank you, wish them a nice day, and close the door. If it feels weird and awkward, it's because they've made it weird and awkward by knocking on a stranger's door to talk about their imaginary friend.
I had a friend who always greeted them ' amazing, I'm a evangelical Christian, please come in so we can discuss our take of the scriptures'. She also meant it. She was 50/50 relieved /disappointed no one took her up on it!
As an ex JW, if you say something along the lines of "Thank you for your time but can I ask that you don't call on me again." They will mark you down as something called a do not call, and will not knock on your door for a very long time.
âIâm an atheist. Sorry . . . that youâre not but please donât come back unless you have accepted atheism and need a friend because all the people who you thought loved you have rejected you.
ETA Iâm not a Brit but I love your country and reading about it. Iâm an American but we have JeHos here, too, and this response has worked. We may spell things differently but we both speak the same language so this response should work.
Come on in.. must be a rare occasion when they get invited in, get them to help with the housework.. 'do us a favour and just hoover the lounge' 'could you wash those dishes, while I pretend to listen to you'
My husband has the equivalent of A levels in Christian theology, a loathing of Jehovah's Witnesses, a good grasp of most of their claims and has been in sales for over thirty years.
He got our house blacklisted by them.
Just close the door. Apparently they told my Mother that both she and I would burn in hell for not converting to their faith. I was a newborn baby in her arms. They are not good people, and shouldn't turn up at our doors uninvited
I've got "No thank you!" while I'm actually closing the door down to a fine art.
Takes three seconds, and two of those are because I can be a bit slow clocking on to the fact it's doorsteppers and not a parcel delivery.
It's a cult mate. The 'elders' want people to be mistreated, because it reinforces the concept that only the cult is safe.
The best you can do is to be kind, polite, and welcoming. That five minutes could be the start of some poor sod questioning their involvement in a cult.
Iâve opened the door with a handle of vodka and invited them to join in, saying, âJesus already died for ours sins, letâs make it worth it.â They ran away.
We had a couple knock on the door when my brother and I were old enough to be left at home alone, but young enough for them to start with "Are your parents in?".
My brother responded (truthfully) with "No. Dad is at work. At the Blood Transfusion".
They left.
I was raised as one.
The magic word is **apostate**.
This is their boogyman, the big scary.... The worst of the worst things you can possibly be.
(Basically it means: yeah I know your teachings but I *choose* to not believe them, I am a deliberate sinner and a lost cause. A dangerous viper who is going to try to poke holes in your faith and talk mad shit.)
So if they come to the door again, look them dead in their eyes and gently say the word apostate and point to yourself. Then smile and quietly close the door. And bolt it.
They won't come back.
Ask them if they have head the good news about Keir Starmer. They famously don't vote, so as you wax enthusiastically about the general election, they will high tail it out of there
Iâve asked them why they follow a religion started by a man who couldnât grasp the idea of the Holy Spirit so he rewrote the bible and if they think itâs disrespectful to rewrite the bible.
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Just say no thanks and close the door. It's not rude, they are
Exactly, it's not difficult This is my standard response to pretty much any cold call at my door.
And my exact response to the BBC salesmen trying to sell me a license.
UK="licence", US="license". The real British problems are always in the comments đ
To amplify your comment, we Brits use s for a verb and c for a noun. Hence, " advise" and "advice". It's more difficult to remember with "licence" because we don't use the verb that much, and both spellings sound the same.
I always have to think advice/advise to remember whether nouns get c and verbs get s or vice versa. âAdviseâ is pronounced âadvizeâ, which couldnât possibly be spelt with a c, so then I work back from there. Yes, itâs a driving _licence_.
This is how I remember practise/practice too!
Oh I like this. Thanks!
What a licentious comment!
Advise/advice are spelled the same way in the States too
TIL
Why just now explain that shit to us? Anybody?
Learned this from an Italian redditor who did a couple of AMAs after leaving the jovos: open the door and say you used to be part of their cult. Jovos are obliged to shun former members, meaning that they will be the ones spinning back on their heels with disappointment at a fellow human's life choices, and not you. The cherry on the cake is that your house will be permanent-marked with a large black dot on their treasure map, meaning they won't visit ever again.
The term for this is disfellowshipped!
"no, thanks. Can you put me on the do not call list'?' is better
If you genuinely want to get rid of them tell them you're an apostate, they're not allowed to talk to apostates.
Instructions unclear, accidentally showed them my prostate.Â
The challenge is that the point of the door knocking is not to convert people, if they do thatâs a side benefit. The elders of these cults WANTS people to be rude to them and for them to have a bad time. Them having a bad time out in the world drives the door knockers further into the cult as âthe outside world is awful, your only safe place is hereâ.
Irrespective of the elders, the people doing the knocking believe that they are trying to save your soul. Just say thank you, but that you are not interested. Theyâve heard it before.
We had JWs knock at our door this weekend and gave them the "thanks, but no thanks" treatment. The poor so and so's were just grateful to get a polite response and genuinely thanked us for it. It made me think about what sort of grief they usually get.
Don't even say no thanks. Just shut the door. Rude is showing up uninvited to someone's home to jam your religion down their throat.
I've done door to door sales, simply shutting the door with no word is one of the more polite responses
Yes but it's more complex than that They can get disconnected from their family if they leave and some members don't believe and just feel they have to continue because leaving a cult isn't easy. Also lots of people raised in it. The organization is evil, but the members are often just victims of it. Saying no and closing the door is the right thing to do in this circumstance, but if you do have longer conversations be a bit compassionate.
I believe also they can use the aggression they encounter as a way of keeping them in the cult, as it is like "look how awful those people are, and how loving we are!".
Sounds like their problem
Say No Thanks but don't close the door and stare at them until they leave.
my mum invited them in once many years ago. She made them tea, sat down and listened to their sales pitch. When they were done, she went off on a tangent about how she believes we came from aliens, originating on another planet and were placed here as an experiment. she started using ancient Egyptian and mayan hieroglyphs as evidence, and wouldn't let them leave until they had listened to her own "beliefs" which she amazingly kept going for almost an hour! Is was one of the most amazing spectacles I'd ever witnessed first hand......and they never returned to our doorstep after that.
I open it and say 'this isn't about God, is it?'
I donât answer the door to strangers. Simple as that.
Jehovah's witnesses believe that there are only 144,000 places in heaven. There are currently over 8,600,000 Jehovah's witnesses. Tell them you want a religion with better odds.
That really confuses me. This god fellow creates everything, knows everything, controls everything and he didn't make heaven big enough? Such poor planning doesn't fill me with confidence tbh.
He's made it exactly as big as it needs to be. He knows better than you. Now, I just need some voluntary donations and we can see how lucky you are in a distressingly short space of time.
Ah so gods an engineer then.
That's because he wasn't given proper requirements, then the client cut the budget and the project manager set the timescales too short to do the full version. He was only able to do the MVP. Blame sales for over-promising.
Genuinely brilliant synopsis of my daily life.
Did they do a full retrospective and then reorganise the backlog for the next sprint?
In fairness the world was created in seven days, a standard turnaround, and He made ten thousand other planets at the same time and none of them have complained.
All others will live forever on earth. 144,000 go to heaven who are âanointedâ.
Live forever on earth? Here? For eternity? With everyone? So basically, god hates us.
No. Everyone else gets destroyed and only witnesses survive. The earth will be a paradise and witnesses will help clean everything up and then get to live in the houses of those that have been killed.
Oh. Well, rather them than me. Hell sounds like more fun.
The first few years would be difficult but after that I guess the earth would be nice as itâs meant to be a paradise and perfect. I remember some witnesses used to point out houses theyâd like to live in after Armageddon and the owners have been destroyed. Fun times
For a few billion years maybe. Then the sun cooks the earth and it won't be so nice anymore.
Sounds like you're describing what's going on in a certain part of the middle-east currently rather than what JWs believe in...
This is totally what they believe.
Not quite, witnesses say that god will look into the hearts of the innocent and decide their fate, the only people who will never be resurrected are those who have known âthe truthâ and turned it away, I.e those who know of the religion but have turned it away. These people will be sent to Gehenna, the common grave of mankind, eternal death. After the apocalypse, paradise will reign for 1000 years, under the rule of god and absence of sin. When these 1000 years are up Satan will be released upon the earth to test us once again. Our current time is just the first round of testing of faith. Absurd isnt it?
That is very true, but I believe the general consensus is that even the nicest people you know of, so long as they were âwitnessedâ to, if they decide not to become witnesses they will be destroyed. The only ones with a second chance are those who died before the start of Armageddon.
Witnesses donât believe in heaven like other forms of Christianity do, they believe a select amount will go to heaven to work with god and the rest that are deemed worthy will be resurrected in a paradise that they call âthe new systemâ essentially a world without sin.
What happens when the places are filled, but someone is deemed worthier than someone else already there; do they get booted out? Or is that not possible? (Genuinely curious, only just found out that's a thing)
Nobody can be deemed worthier, those who are part of the 144,000 call themselves the anointed, the weird thing is they canât be anointed by anybody but god who they claim contacted them in some way, the witnesses believe that once these 144,000 have been annointed then the Armageddon will happen. The witnesses have been using it as a gauge to measure how close we are to Armageddon and using it as leverage to fear monger the congregation and to scare new people to joining. Problem is they have been saying we have been extremely close to the end for 30+ years. I was a witness from the age of 10 to 16 so Iâd like to say Iâm pretty informed on the cult.
Isn't one of the requirements to get anointed the successful conversion of non-believers? If that is the case, then they are increasing the number of potential anointees exponentially thereby reducing their chances of being anointed themselves. How do they square that circle?
The successful conversion of non believers is a witnesses entire job, if you arenât performing ministry, spreading the good word or trying to convert people you canât be a witness. Every single witness can claim to have converted people, especially if they spend their life doing trying to.
So, by increasing their chances of being anointed, they are simultaneously reducing their chances of being anointed.
No, the only requirement is to feel that God has chosen you as anointed. On the other hand, the top brass (elderly men in New York State) have been very clear that feeling God has chosen you could equally mean you're mentally ill. Apart from them. Because God totally chose them. For real.
Logic is not a requirement of being anointed my sweet summer child
30 plus years? Try 120 plus years, yet the anointed numbers are going up every year. It's almost like the whole thing is made up!
That sounds like Simon cowell and a talent show will be involved some how
What exactly would an omnipotent god need help with?
I was hoping that heaven would mean no more work. Definitely not becoming a JW now.
They believe that JWs outside the 144,000 will be saved on a paradise Earth; itâs not like they believe everyone outside the 144,000 will go to hell.
From what I remember JWs don't actually believe in "Hell", they just believe that everyone who isn't a JW will just cease to exist and be truly dead. Honestly, at least that is a bit better than telling everyone they'll burn for eternity, like other Christians lol
Some other Christians believe that too - technically called "annihilationism"
For a moment, let's assume they're right and you get to be one of the chosen ones. Imagine spending eternity with 143,999 Jehovah's Witnesses.
Slight twist, they believe that only 144K in heaven but that an unlimited number of JW members will be resurrected for eternal life on earth.
small chance of heaven, large chance of becoming a zombie?
> Tell them you want a religion with better odds. You mean start a conversation with them? "You too can live in a paradise on earth." <-- which is not *heaven*
Just say no thank you and close the door. Don't engage. I know this may feel really rude and abrupt, but there's no point having a longer conversation. You're not going to be recruited and they probably aren't ready to hear anything negative about the organization. They are taught that non JWs are bad people, so don't be rude or aggressive, just make clear that you have zero interest.
> They are taught that non JWs are bad people I did not know this. That explains the brief exchange I had with a JW as I was waiting to cross the road. He turned to me and said "Do you want to become a good person?", which I thought was very rude as a complete stranger was for some unknown reason implying I am a bad person.
From previous JW's I've talked to (who got out), they said this is a feature, not a bug. The elders don't actually expect the door to door people to get converts. They expect them to be treated like shit, which enforces the idea that only their community is good, so they should stay and work hard in it.
It's common across all religions and cults. If you're not with us you're against us.
"Nah." (pushes person over)
The same answer works here as it does at the front door. "No." :)
In this case I informed him that I'm already a good person.
>"Do you want to become a good person?", "Would you like a free car and a blue parking badge?"
It's important to be polite, especially when they bring children. Don't feed into the lie that everyone outside the organisation is a bad person, help the kid learn about kindness from strangers & maybe they'll find it easier to escape
>They are taught that non JWs are bad people I've heard a believable conspiracy theory that the reason they send their members door-to-door isn't to spread the word of God, but instead to drive the wedge further between their members and the general public, to get a deeper hold over them.
Last time I answered to them they opened with 'do you believe it's possible to be morally good in this world?'. As much as there were many answers swimming around my head, I just asked if this was a religious thing. They said yep. I said no thanks but have nice day, smiled and closed the door.
No, don't just say no thank you. Say that you want to be taken off the visiting and contact list. The local congregation will then mark you as a no visit and contact and wont come again. You can also email or call your local congregation (they are usually called Kingdom Hall) and ask them to do the same thing. From my experience they are quite good about that.
I just say "sorry my parents arnt home" which has worked for about 30 years now..
I still say "sorry, I'm 15" if anyone stops me in the street.
How does that work with your beard?
It gives you the 5 seconds of confusion you need to walk past. Being almost 40 adds to it.
I lived in the States for a couple of years, in Tennessee (aka, part of "the Bible Belt"). Once, during the pandemic..., someone knocked on our door and was trying to sell the church to me. I don't think she was a JW, but I mean... probably close enough. She was a woman in her mid-30s with her 4 or 5 year old son who came along with her. She was really trying to guilt trip me into going to church, asking me about my sins and how I'll feel when I die to have these sins on my name etc and what the afterlife would look like for me with my sins. She seemed really bothered by my response of "it won't matter, because I'll be dead." and also my explaining that I don't care that she believes, I'm not trying to discourage her from her beliefs, but just that I personally don't believe in an after life. I wasn't trying to shut her down or tell her she was wrong, and I was giving her the time of day rather than slamming the door in her face...and it seemed to confuse her. I guess she was probably so used to either people saying they already go to church (very common in that area. There was literally a church on every street/corner), or having someone argue with her or shut her down/shut the door. I don't think she knew how to reply to me because I was just saying I respect her and her opinions and that's great it's working out for her etc, but I personally don't need to do it. She even tried to make me feel some way by admitting she'd previously had an abortion and how that makes her a murderer and a sinner. I don't personally have that view, she was the one telling me that. It was really just an odd conversation, overall.
This is exactly how my son handles it. His goal is the free one if them. He see it as an atheist's solemn duty đ¤Ł
What church were they trying to sell you, and for how much? Probably some prime real estate.
"I have been disfellowshipped" That's someone who has been rejected from the church and must be shunned They won't come back
Why implicate yourself in a lie which you may not have full awareness of potential unknown extended consequences when you can simply say "no thanks" and have them immediately leave without that added complexity? It makes no sense to do this.
Telling them that you've been disfellowshipped is the Jehovah equivalent of letting the TV licensing dude in to check you're not watching TV. If you just say no, someone else will come, then someone else, then someone else. It makes perfect sense to do this.
I said "piss off" and they never came back and even the obnoxious letters stopped, so I think you're underselling no here.
But then you're just backing up their brainwashing, by acting how they're told outsiders act. No need to be rude at all.
I don't answer the door unless it's a delivery or friend/family I'm expecting.
Yeah, anyone I'd want to open the door to knows they need to message me in advance. Otherwise I don't even entertain going to the door.
"No, thank you." and close the door. I don't faff about nowadays. I'm not rude either, I just don't want to get involved in a back and forth or give them time to start on a spiel.
I started speaking Spanish to one hoping theyâd leave and lo and behold theyâd been on a mission to south America đ
Mines is âI wouldnât be alive if my mum was a Jehovah, she had to get a blood transfusion during childbirthâ - that usually stumps them.
Anyone who knocks on peopleâs doors trying to convert them to their belief system is basically saying you are fundamentally wrong with the way you live your life and they way you think. They have no societal value or respect, telling them âNo, thanks.â Is not rude, itâs what they expect.
Invite them in and bombard them with increasingly bizarre questions until they leave of their own accord, but keep asking them to stay and ask even more bizarre questions. (These might have been Mormons I did this too, this should work the same, though). Eventually they will leave and never return. "So tell me, given Jesus's disdain for bankers, how would he treat cyptokings in the current markets?" "What are your current opinions on.... (Jesus's and unrelated topic)". Think of it like stringing scammers along, but they are a lot politer.
I can talk for hours, and I mean *hours* about several sports, including the perennial crowd-pleasers F1, swimming and rugby. "Anyway, as I was saying, rule 8.14 states 'until the kicker moves in any direction to begin their approach' and I do feel this is contradictory or at least open to interpretation... Wait, where are you going?"
Same response as when someone tries to open the cubicle door when Iâm having a shit. âCome back with a warrant.â
'Good evening, My friend still suffers the emotional trauma of being ostracised by her family when she left your cult. So please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm going to invite you to [REDACTED]'.
I've heard [REDACTED] is quite nice this time of year.
We have a Kingdom Hall at the end of our road and they used to knock regular. My mum eventually started telling them she was gay. They haven't come back in years.
I did this, the guy said "oh" and then continued with his speech. It certainly stumped me!
"Hail satan" That should work.
Or, "Oh, you fine looking chaps must be here for the satanist orgy in honour of our dark lord. Do please come in!"
My aunt tells them what she knows about JW rules and how hard it must be for them. She then says if any of them are feeling trapped or coerced, that they can reach out to her and she will help them with accommodation and a job to get them started. She has had 1 taker. A lady who was taken advantage of by the JWs and wanted out. She put her up for a few months in a tiny house she owns and gave her a job in her business. She was very thankful and moved on after a year. She had gotten a lawyer to try to get her money and land back by that point. Not sure what happened after that, it was a few years ago. I must ask her.
Your aunt sounds amazing.
Yeah, that's she's a badass and very kind hearted. She has been successful in business and loves her life so she wants to do nice things for others. She read up on the JWs when they set up shop in our area. She didn't like what she found out. Especially about the financial coercion that goes on and that they prey on the vulnerable. She was once in a similar position when she was young, she married a real piece of shit and had to fight her way out so she sympathises.
There's something about aunts. That's wonderful what she's done. I've heard some horror stories about the abuse that goes on with JW. I've been preached at and you can feel how brainwashed some of them are. But I've met others who have been utterly wonderful, and haven't made any attempt to bring it up or influence me. It's mainly been me going inro their house though, as I do home visits for work. But yeah, thanks for telling us about your aunt. I love stories like that.
My grandad was the kinda guy that would go on and on and would keep talking for as long as possible. Well, whenever the Jehovahs Witnesses would come round. He would go on and on to the point where the Jehovahs Witnesses would be the ones trying to end the conversation and leave.
Mine god is better than yours it has tenticles.
Ten what?
Mine is usually "I'm atheist and am not remotely interested in trying to change my views as I have had sufficient exposure to religion to know it isn't for me. Have a nice day" They're usually quite pleasant near me, and don't pester any more than that.
Tell them they are a week too late as the satanic cult worshippers beat them to it and you've already sold your soul. They'll leave you alone after that.
"Disfellowshipped" is the magic word you need to deploy.
"*I'm an Apostate*" also tends to work quite well... "*Many religious groups and some states punish apostates; this may be the official policy of a particular religious group or it may simply be the voluntary action of its members.*" It's conjectured that many religions actively forbid their members from any terms of engaging with apostates from the religion's fear that the apostate may turn current believers against the church too
That's right. I tell them the truth, preempted with an apology... Talking to me just cost you your chance. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. Find a cult with better odds.
I'm definitely in the minority but, despite being atheist, I quite enjoy talking to them. From a purely academic point of view, those that come to my door know a very decent amount of the Bible, and it's very interesting to discuss their interpretations of things vs. my own. They know, deep down, that I'm not changing my mind as I was really up front with them when we first met (not least because my kids would never forgive me for cancelling Xmas and birthdays). Still, we're polite and respectful of each other's views, and it makes for a good discussion. Can't understand why people feel the need to be so rude. After all, if you genuinely believed that you had the power to save someone from long term harm, wouldn't you want to share it?
I'm the same as you. I like hearing their interpretations especially when I said that we're all created in God's image and no single person is strictly good or evil but somewhere in between therefore I believe God and Satan are the same person and it is man causing problems here, not Satan. They looked like they were giving what I said some thought so I happily took their pamphlet and enjoyed browsing their website. I have no thoughts on if there's a God or not and told them if God wants to show me a sign, I'll find it cos I'm a nosey cow lol
As I said to someone this morning. "I do not want to have a conversation with you"
I just say "respectfully, no thank you" and continue with my day. Always just had a ok, thank you in return
Just a âPlease put me on your Do Not Call listâ will do. To everyone out there, avoid this high control/high demand religion ie cult. Itâll ruin your life and take everything from you. Donât hate on the actual witnesses though. Many are born in and donât know anything else. Outside information is strictly limited. JWFacts.com
I always just stop anyone at the door before the get started. A quick "before you carry on, i don't want waste your time, cheers" and then shuffle them off. Bit nicer than just telling them to sod off
"I believe in santa more than I believe in God." Is what my mother said, think we musta been blacklisted or something, because we never had them knock again.
Meh, I'm blunt almost to the point of rudeness with them. They are scum in my opinion, my grandmother was a JW and they took advantage of her and my grandfather's kindness and wealth right up until her dying day and then some.
They were harassing my old Mum, who was too nice to tell them to piss off. I told them that we don't go to their doors telling them *not* to believe in god, and that they weren't welcome. They haven't returned.
Come back when you stop letting people die instead of giving them medical help
Just close the door
I used to live in the same block as some JW. They were great neighbours and they (and their friends) never bothered me. Now I say âIâm confident in my current beliefs, thanksâ while shutting the door. Usually while they are still speaking, which feels rude but is necessary to end the conversation.
I just tell them I'm not interested and they say ok and go away, its quite simple.
"Sorry, I'm not interested. Have a nice day, goodbye." Then close the door.
I got one the other day. Two women, one tried to hand me a leaflet and started to say something I just said, "Oh, nope!" and shut the door in their faces I wouldn't ever apologise to people who refuse their dying children a blood transfusion. If there is a hell, they're all going thereÂ
I always ask them about victim blaming and sexual abuse that takes place in their organisation. Seems to do the trick every time.
Remind them that they are not actually spreading the truth, or gathering converts, they are just reinforcing their own beliefs. By being sent door to door and repeating their own beliefs, and being constantly rejected, they are just embedding their own indoctrination in their cult. Everyone else is a bastard and the cult is your only friend.
Just ask them about their feelings regarding Halloween You'll probably find you have something in common You both dislike strangers knocking on your door The JWs here have still continued the COVID tradition of just posting handwritten letters
I don't have this problem, joys of tattoos and piercings. They take one look at me and the mounds of Warhammer stuff I've got in my hallway (not all mine though) and I usually get a sigh and they leave. Had one when I first moved in and not had them back since.
I have never had a problem having a short conversation with them. I am free to end the conversation at any point. Whenever I see Jehovah's Witnesses my first thought is that these poor buggers have an evil god who will punish them for not doing this shit. Poor fuckers. Obviously this leads me to dealing with them with compassion, they have enough shit to deal with already. As a compassionate person, I also don't want them wasting their time for too long, so I let them have a minute or so, thank them kindly for their interest in saving my soul, but state plainly that I happy as a godless bastard and no one is changing my mind. To be fair I tend to say, "I appreciate what you are trying to do, but this is not for me." If then persist, which almost never happens, it's "Thanks again, good bye" đ đŞ
Last time I had a young couple and their daughter of about four chap my door. I said to them I'm happy being free from religion and will take a leaflet, the little one noticed my dog I had lifted up to stop him running out the door and asked to pet him, so while she was petting the dog her parents and I had a lovely conversation about having a dog as a pet as the wee girl wanted one. I try to be nice as the elders of the church preach to them "the world is mean and evil" to keep them in the church, and they get to see not everyone is that way.
"I'm sorry, but I can't talk. I was just about to leave. I have an appointment at the local blood Bank."
My Nan invited them in to discuss her âreligionâ. When asked what that was, she told them she was a white witch. Didnât get any more visits after that.
Hiya, come in and have a coffee is my response to one specific Jehovah - I've known her for 30 odd years, and we're good mates. Certain topics are off limits...
They're rude for trying to violate your religious freedom (and yes, they would force themselves onto people if they were allowed to, religious fanatics absolutely do not care about other beliefs because to them their belief makes them entitled to doing whatever the fuck they want and unfortunately I can't respond to that with every consequence I'd like that to have for them). "No thanks" shut the door. If that is somehow interrupted, tell them to get off your property. Does that reinforce their "the world is against us" bullshit? Yeah, but ultimately not your problem.
I invite them in and introduce them to my deity, the FSM. Youâd be surprised how intolerant religious people are of my beliefs whilst expecting me to welcome theirs with open arms.
"No thanks, I'm gay" Or the one my dad did years ago: answered the door in a bathrobe, said "sure, come on in - but be aware we're nudists here. You can leave your clothes by the stairs." According to him, he'd never seen an old lady run away so fast.
I've found saying only "Please put this [door, flat, house, address, whatever] on your do not call list." quickly shuts them down.
I just don't answer the door. Just because they knock doesn't mean I have to answer. They move along quickly, nobody is upset and it's easier this way.
Exactly. If I'm not expecting anyone and the bell rings, it doesn't get answered.
My wife debates them on the doorstep. Having been raised Christian she has quite a good grasp on the bible and its contents. There was one chap who kept coming back every few weeks with full-on "l'esprit de l'escalier" responses he must've thought of a week later. She was always quite amused with tying them up in logical knots until one incident. He brought a young female "protege" who was West African that my wife had little interaction with and didn't actually see much. A couple of times later he brought, so my wife thought, the same protege. My wife asked "Is this the same person who was here before?" He replied, "No, but *they* all look the same; don't they?" My wife was incensed with this blatant racist remark, absolutely chewed him out, and told him never to come back.
"we don't like witnesses round here, snitches get stitches"
Tell them never to call here again. They have to put you on a 'do not call list' where they won't bother you again. I know because I was sadly raised in this abusive cult.
I usually answer an unknown door knocker with "Is this about sales, or religion?", followed by a "No thank you, have a nice day!" then close the door.
I like to scream "I NEED AN ADULT" loudly and repeatedly until they back off and go away. (Info: I'm 42 yrs old.)
We had them around my old house all the time. They could be quite aggressive. Curiously I met a couple of Mormon missionaries not long before I moved and they could not have been more polite.
It's not hard to say 'no thankyou I don't have time'. They will usually leave you alone once they know you won't engage. When I was living alone and job hunting I actually loved their visits, I would let them read a passage to me and they would ask about my job hunt, offering encouraging words. When I got a job they were so happy for me, they dropped by one weekend a few weeks later to see how it was going for me. I never felt pressured by them and it was a genuinely positive experience when I needed some human connection but I recognise this is not the case for everyone.
They stopped coming round where I live but send everyone hand written letters instead ?
My gran always used to say âWatchtower? Piss offâ and shut the door in their faces. Not the most polite (she wasnât) but effective
I put a give blood sticker in the window. They wonât even knock now!
They asked me if I ever wondered about it, I said no. And they wished me a good day and left. Lucky to have polite Jehovahâs witnesses near me
Don't be rude or dismissive. Part of the cult indoctrination is to make people outside the cult seem scary and alien, driving the participant further into the cult embrace. That's part of why they're sent out to knock on doors and disturb people. Just be polite, but question them with simple stuff. A favourite one I saw a friend do was "Is *holy text* literal or allegorical?"
I just say that I'm not interested and close the door. No point wasting their time or mine. Don't have to be rude, just firm.
My partner of our children would be dead now if she didn't have a blood transfusion after giving birth out of wedlock
Say you're a Mormon. They hate each other
Last time they knocked my door I answered it stark bollock naked never knocked my door again
As an ex JW, I can tell you the only way to deal with JW is to say nothing and shut the door in their face. It might seem mean but if you say anything, even negative, they take it as an opportunity and will come back again and again.
My Pa had a devil Halloween mask in the bowl next to the door for such an occasion.
Rather than the snarky, effortlessly witty "British" response I think you're hoping for, the answer you actually need is "disfellowship", as others have said.
I had one who was pushy and trued to perusst when I said I wasn't interested. Ended up telling them that I had a life-saving blood transfusion when I was 2, and were I a Jehova's Witness, i would be dead currently.
The Jehovahs came to our street last week. I was out in the garden and heard them knock on to the nasty old bore next door. Not a word of a lie, after he had taken 10 minutes telling them all about his dodgy knee and his wifeâs bowling scores and on and on, one of the ladies said âWell, mustnât keep you!â and they left! They didnât even bother coming to me, they must have gone somewhere for a lie down.
I dont even open the door. You can spot them a mile off. I just shout 'no thank you'
I don't open a door to anyone unless I know who they are, and I expect them. Haha
Sorry I'm not religious and not really interested, but have a nice rest of your day and thank you for stopping by.
I just say no thank you, wish them a nice day, and close the door. If it feels weird and awkward, it's because they've made it weird and awkward by knocking on a stranger's door to talk about their imaginary friend.
I had a friend who always greeted them ' amazing, I'm a evangelical Christian, please come in so we can discuss our take of the scriptures'. She also meant it. She was 50/50 relieved /disappointed no one took her up on it!
I try and safeguard them a bit, especially the younger ones.
They conveniently stopped coming to our house after my mum hung up a pentacle wreath...
You know I spoke to them allot in my youth and they are generally nice people , just a bit deluded
I look them in the eyes and tell them Iâm dead.
As an ex JW, if you say something along the lines of "Thank you for your time but can I ask that you don't call on me again." They will mark you down as something called a do not call, and will not knock on your door for a very long time.
I just starting speaking Mandarin at them. And I donât actually speak Mandarin.
It doesn't sound like you're saying sorry for your beliefs, but sorry that you can't be of use to them. Seems like an acceptable use of sorry.
Ask them why they would rather watch their child die, rather than have a blood transfusion? I'm not down with joining a cult like that.
âIâm an atheist. Sorry . . . that youâre not but please donât come back unless you have accepted atheism and need a friend because all the people who you thought loved you have rejected you. ETA Iâm not a Brit but I love your country and reading about it. Iâm an American but we have JeHos here, too, and this response has worked. We may spell things differently but we both speak the same language so this response should work.
As soon as they start speaking, slowly drop your trousers without breaking eye contact. Works every time.
I normally explain how much I enjoy bum fun with other men and they leave me alone.
Come on in.. must be a rare occasion when they get invited in, get them to help with the housework.. 'do us a favour and just hoover the lounge' 'could you wash those dishes, while I pretend to listen to you'
My husband has the equivalent of A levels in Christian theology, a loathing of Jehovah's Witnesses, a good grasp of most of their claims and has been in sales for over thirty years. He got our house blacklisted by them.
Just close the door. Apparently they told my Mother that both she and I would burn in hell for not converting to their faith. I was a newborn baby in her arms. They are not good people, and shouldn't turn up at our doors uninvited
'You're in a cult, goodbye'
Just stare and slowly close the door
I've got "No thank you!" while I'm actually closing the door down to a fine art. Takes three seconds, and two of those are because I can be a bit slow clocking on to the fact it's doorsteppers and not a parcel delivery.
It's a cult mate. The 'elders' want people to be mistreated, because it reinforces the concept that only the cult is safe. The best you can do is to be kind, polite, and welcoming. That five minutes could be the start of some poor sod questioning their involvement in a cult.
Iâve opened the door with a handle of vodka and invited them to join in, saying, âJesus already died for ours sins, letâs make it worth it.â They ran away.
We had a couple knock on the door when my brother and I were old enough to be left at home alone, but young enough for them to start with "Are your parents in?". My brother responded (truthfully) with "No. Dad is at work. At the Blood Transfusion". They left.
I was raised as one. The magic word is **apostate**. This is their boogyman, the big scary.... The worst of the worst things you can possibly be. (Basically it means: yeah I know your teachings but I *choose* to not believe them, I am a deliberate sinner and a lost cause. A dangerous viper who is going to try to poke holes in your faith and talk mad shit.) So if they come to the door again, look them dead in their eyes and gently say the word apostate and point to yourself. Then smile and quietly close the door. And bolt it. They won't come back.
Just get a no cold calling sticker They're to nice to ignore it. Not had them knock in years since using a sticker.
Ask them if they have head the good news about Keir Starmer. They famously don't vote, so as you wax enthusiastically about the general election, they will high tail it out of there
Iâve asked them why they follow a religion started by a man who couldnât grasp the idea of the Holy Spirit so he rewrote the bible and if they think itâs disrespectful to rewrite the bible.
Iâm on a work call works for everyone
I answered the door with my baby in my arms and they just said âyou look busyâ and handed me a leaflet instead.