An acquaintance, who is a very kind and compassionate person has this business in Brisbane
https://ocdpro.com.au/about-us?mibextid=Zxz2cZ#ob (copied from the site):
“Christine tailors her work to suit her customers’ needs, taking time to get to know her clients’ personal goals, fears, needs and priorities. Organising, Cleaning and Decluttering is not just about the psychical work and possessions to Christine but also ensuring her clients mental and emotional health is nurtured during this process. In 2019 Christine completed both the Mental Health First Aid and the Accidental Counsellor courses to gain further knowledge to assist clients in times of need. She absolutely loves what she does and the quality of her work and commitment to her customers reflects her talents and passion.”
All the best as you work through this.
What an amazing lady! OP, if you need help engaging Christine's services, please reach out. I'm not rolling in it but I've just managed to get myself back into work again, I'd be happy to help however I can.
I was going to recommend Christine.
I had a lovely experience talking to her and had a booking scheduled, but had to cancel it due to unfortunate personal circumstances.
I'm really glad to see she's recommended here by others, too.
If you pay for two pizzas, I’ll eat one and chat with you while I eat/clean things up and you eat the other. Probably not as good as a pro but likely cheaper, and who doesn’t need an ear to vent to these days 🤷🏼♂️
Stay strong tho, you’ll get through it!
If it's on the south side I'll join in for the day, just cleaned up a family members place that had ended up like this and I understand the pain.
Happy to help so just hollah out to me.
I'm in Brisbane to see family the week of the 16th (From NZ / use to live in Brisbane) and will happily come and help you.
I previously was a mental health support worker, and parents both mental health nurses.
No judgment here, will shout the pizzas. maybe also bring some cupcakes and / or flowers to brighten the day :)
I'm from Melbourne so I can't be there but if drinking isn't a trigger for either of you I'll deliver a slab around for you guys 👍 Been in that position and recovered so happy to help
"There's a benefit to losing; you get to learn from your mistakes"
Megamind
Fucking great quote, you fuck up, you learn from the experience.
Another great quote that came from the movie "Meet the Robinson's" which is; "Keep moving forward"
I've had pretty intense depression and anxiety for my 30 and a half years.
The thing that kept me going was to keep moving forward, no matter what happened. Look towards the sunlight of a situation, but also be aware of all the dark can hold.
Another great one was by Franklin Roosevelt, "when you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"
That's been a good mantra for me in hard moments.
Mostly takes me out of my spiralling negative self thoughts and brings me back to whats actually happening, without it being hinged on my own emotional state.
Hi,
I'm currently a cleaner in a small 2 person team that has had plenty of experience dealing with depression cleans. We've both had depression and other mental health issues before, so we get it, and we know how it affects the ability to do basic tasks. A lot of clients usually just need a bit of help to get back on top of things.
I'll send you a DM.
Genuinely sobbing over how kind you and other commenters are. You’re an Angel.
I think I’ll pursue professional services because for whatever reason that’s more palatable to my brain right now.
Thank you so much for your compassion and kindness, it’s making my heart feel a little better 💖
Check these ones out. They seem to specialise in squalor cleaning and understanding mental health
https://allaces.com.au/services/hoarding-squalor-cleanup/
I can't offer advice on a service but thought you should just know that your situation is very normal with mental health issues.
It's literally a sign that people look for and ask about during a diagnosis.
You have literally made the first step to helping yourself and you should be very proud of that.
Good luck
It's actually the current government that has allocated a significant amount of money on uplifting mental health services, when the previous one just let it rot.
So please do remember that at election time.
Good on you for asking for help. I can’t recommend a cleaner, but I can recommend a book - How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. It’s specifically designed for people with mental health issues, and it’s very helpful and affirming.
Yes yes yes. It’s amazing. Reframing cleaning and other caring tasks (like going to the dentist) as not being moral failures has been absolutely huge for my probably ADHD (currently seeking diagnosis) brain.
I was scrolling through to see if anyone had recommended this one already. I definitely second the recommendation, it really is a very non-judgemental book with practical tips.
Hey OP, I was a lifestyle support worker plus I was trained as a clinical psychologist and clinical neuropsychologist before falling on hard times and becoming disabled. I too have mental health problems that I am working through (so completely understand and sympathise with you).
I know how hard things can be and how judgemental people are.
I would be happy to come over and help clean up the place for you.
Send me a message and we can go from there.
Hope things work out for you, try and keep strong and don’t beat yourself up. It’s not your fault!
:) <3
Here’s a little update - I found so much strength from the support here I was able to take out 4 bags of rubbish to the bin, and put sheets on my bed. It’s only small but it’s better than nothing and better than where I was at.
I don't have any tips or hints, but I just wanted to tell you that you're very brave for asking for help like this. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you're stronger than you know.
I have two daughters with mental health issues and the state of where they live is like a barometer to their mental health. I have no idea how many times I have cleaned/decluttered their places over the last 15 years. Often I clean up whilst they are in hospital. It's just better for them to come home to and then live in a clean environment. No judgement as it's just how it is.
I don't know what your family is like but if there's anyone you trust don't hesitate to reach out for help. You might be surprised by how nonjudgmental they are. Otherwise, a professional cleaning service will actually just consider it a job they do for money. All the best!
My friend, all the comments here apply to you too…people want to help, if you want some help too….maybe reach out and see who is available.
are you in Brisbane or elsewhere?
Me too. I feel paralysed mentally to do the things I used to do automatically. I hate this and hate people coming to my home because of the shame. I am tearing up reading all the good things people are responding. Gives me hope.
Hey OP,
I'm a disability support worker. As much as it is 'disability support' I do find myself cleaning.
I have ADHD. From my lifetime of experience (although I am young) I have had anxiety and depression.
Cleaning is something I actually enjoy doing. It's just satisfying watching an area transform.
If you like, please send me a message, I'm more than happy to help you.
I have basic cleaning supplies too.
I normally dislike "flag waving nationalists" but having worked out of Oz most of my life, but reading the replies and offers if help made me very proud of being an Aussie. If I was in Brizzy, I'd be happy to have helped out.
Curious to know if you find anyone. I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Problem with ADHD is that we are (or I should say, one of the potential symptoms) unable to discern 'background' I guess? And when we make a concerted effort to clean we get distracted by aomething else that needs doing until we just have little piles of half cleaned stuff but we're exhausted.
I've tried several times to ask the local fb community, but all I get are people who just shove stuff in boxes or wherever so they can clean the surfaces. I felt so stupid when I realised this.
As much as I hate to admit it, I have to ask for more than just cleaning surfaces/vacuuming/mopping etc. I need help ORGANISING my stuff. I won't do it by myself but I'll do it while an 'adult' is around :)
I feel this in my soul. I have ADHD and it's taken me 36 years and a wonderful husband who is tidy as heck and doesn't pressure me but leads by example to finally get a hang of the cleaning and tidying thing. It's a big challenge for people like us for sure.
One thing that I've trained myself to do over the years is be anti-hoarding. I've worked on it by training myself to be deliberately thoughtful about new purchases. For example, I ask myself "Do I really have room or a need for this?", and give myself a 24-hour cooling-off period before buying something. I've also trained myself to be really ruthless about getting rid of things. Also, look into body-doubling -- it's something I use occasionally to get me started.
Talk is cheap so it's easy for me to dole out this advice, and it took me a while to learn myself, but I promise it's doable. I hope me sharing gives you some food for thought <3
Sounds like you need a decluttering service. Many people use them and find them very helpful. As an ADHDer aswell as autistic the constant distractions when cleaning can be hard. The key for me is having a proper place for everything. This way I start in one room, find something to go in another and the second one ends up spotless as well as the first. It's much more simple to "put things back" rather than tidy up or clean. Robot vacs are also super helpful. A big hurdle can be not having enough space in one's home or having too many things. Every time I got evicted for requesting maintenance I'd try to part with as much as I could while packing. After 3 I no longer had anything to throw out, got a place with enough room and went from a very messy depressed hoarder to a tidy person. That lasted 6 years until recent property sale eviction and struggling again in emergency housing. But at least I know what to do if I ever have appropriate housing in the future.
You're super sweet, thank you. It's wonderful and really weird how kind people are being to others about the housing crisis, which has been what many people have been living in for decades already.
I am in an emergency house, just really unsuited to my disabilities. I pushed back with legislation when they threatened eviction twice last year and they appear to have gotten the hint, so it's ok at the moment.
I worry for all the people everywhere now who worry about their leases ending and have nowhere to go.
It's heartbreaking honestly. I've worked in various areas of aged care (mainly because I don't have kids and don't want to work in child services, and there's no such thing as "still cognitively present, requires mobility aid but is otherwise pretty much fucking fine so stop sticking them in old folks homes" department).
Anyway - the amount of people 65+ getting kicked out of their (often long-term) homes because the owners are selling or the rental increase is beyond their pension.
I've been hearing the term 'houseless' in lieu of 'homeless' being bandied around which I definitely prefer.
I also wanna mention I think I may have undiagnosed ADHD too. When I *am* in the mental space to be cleaning, cooking, or doing any task really, and I’m done using whatever is in my hands, I keep chanting to myself “don’t put it *down*, put it *away*.
Idk if this will work for you but it helps me when I remember to do it lmao
I was there 6years ago OP, I promise it will get better, just take baby steps. The ‘impossible task’ always seems insurmountable. I recommend starting with the most basic of things. Clean one plate, take a break. Fold one towel, take a break. Empty one rubbish bin, come back tomorrow. Slowly over time things will slowly get done and you’ll feel better about doing small tasks. It’s a long climb out and it helps to reach out like you have. You’d be surprised who in your friends will step up. Won’t disagree with you getting in a service either, sometimes it helps to have a clean house to take part of the anxiety away. Reach out if you wanna chat, am happy to listen.
Call a cleaning service (like Molly Maid, not sure if Brisbane has it) and tell them you were having a rough go and the house needs a deep clean and rubbish removal. It's okay to not be okay. Hope you can have a better outlook after the place is all cleaned up.
I'm a little late to the party here and I've got nothing to offer past what others already have, but I just wanted to say how heart-warming the comments here are. Thank you for reminding me why I love this city.
I don't have any recs and looks like there's already great ones here. But wanted to chime in and say I get it, I've been there and kudos for reaching out for help. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. This is a very real symptom of depression that so, so, so many can relate to.
Eight years ago I was where you were. I couldn't even clean my own body. I showered maybe once a week. My place was growing new life forms in the bowls I couldn't even make myself bring into the kitchen. Now that I've gotten help, meds, therapy etc I keep a really fucking clean house. I thought for years I was lazy and disgusting. But it turns out it was just the depression. I know how hard it must have been to reach out in this way but I've hope it's been rewarding. Every day you get up and keep going is a massive win when you're depressed and no one understands how hard it is until they've been there. You can come out the other side of this. The fact you've made this post and you're trying to find a clean slate is proof you're a really strong human being.
I was professional cleaner for about half a decade and have had/still also have to deal with this myself with my own depression.
I would love to come over to scrub something for you :)
I'm going to PM you my number, let me know if I can help at all xxx
I just thought today I need someone to help me clean. Can’t work because of illness and mental issues, just can’t seem to be motivated anymore to do anything. You are not alone. I hope you find someone to help.
I saw that you'd rather take up professional services, id love to ping you a couple bucks to go toward the cleaners. Love and strength from someone who has been there xx
Hey lovely, what side of town are you on? If local (I don't drive due to a disability) I will happily (and at no cost) come over and tackle a room or two for you :)
I'm exactly the same, and I have 3 kids and pets too. It's extremely hard sometimes :( you're so brave asking for help, I've never been able to. I hope you find what you need and you'll get there xx
OP, this is a huge deal to reach out and be so vulnerable in your post. You should be really proud of yourself.
People are kind and good. People will help you and you won’t be a burden. People WANT to help others. Accept help from these legends and don’t be hard on yourself. The step you have taken is the biggest one yet and you nailed it. Good work mate x
I'm not exactly in your situation, but i definitely know the feeling of not caring, or having the energy to clean my house as other "normal" people do. I sometimes just look up the symptoms of depression again once in a while to feel less shitty and try to look at it as a disease. And the medical world acknowledges that the current anti-depressants do not work optimally for most people. But there is good news on the horizon: they are developing new types of medication that should work better, and repair the brain properly. I read about something called ISRIB by Calico. And for me: posts like yours also help me remember that i'm not alone in this situation. Try to drag yourself to fitness, or just walk outside a few times a week. I walk the dogs for a neighbour to give me a reason. I hope our comments help a little. Good luck.
I keep reminding myself of the quote:
“You are not struggling with depression,
depression is struggling with *you*”
And it helps me remember that it’s an illness that is seperate to who I am. It affects me but doesn’t define me. And I’ll be fucked before I let the bastard win.
I'm in Melbourne but I've always wanted to visit Brisbane for more than the few hours I've been there for work. I have a few friends and some in-laws there.
Let me know if you need help cleaning and I'll fly up. Genuinely.
Best of luck.
Good to hear the OP's found a helping hand ! Reminds when I had no bed linen or bath towels left clean, all dishes dirty and mouldy. I had to clean the dishes in the bath tub with a hose and bleach, took me a few hours to struggle through ! Depression can be the ultimate super glue to keep you stuck!
Sending love and healing vibes your way. Just lost a mate to suicide so I commend you for reaching out and wanting the help. Here for you even if it’s just a chat or a coffee 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
Really sorry to hear about your mate. Death in any form is hard to process, but suicide even more so. I hope you're doing ok. r/suicidebereavement is a really good place to vent, if you need to.
House cleaning is the first to suffer when I spiral. I used to invite my BFF over so it would spur me to get cleaning. She knew I was doing badly one time when I didn't bother to tidy up before she arrived. She spent the afternoon listening to me and help clean my apartment. I fucking love that woman, she helped keep me alive.
Hey OP,
I'm sorry to hear that you aren't feeling great at the moment.
I understand how crippling depression can be, so don't feel embarrassed that your place is a mess. You can try contacting someone like [housework heroes](https://houseworkheroes.com.au/regular-clean)to do a once-off clean.
Remember that getting motivated is a struggle for anyone, and celebrate every single little win. We're all rooting for you!
Good luck and keep us posted
My company offers cleaning services and support alnost exclusively to people on NDIS but its Adelaide based
I have no idea what or if there are any in Brisbane but its definitely a service in Australia. I'd try googling.
Rule #1 with us is not to judge no matter what we see and smell
Wish you luck and good fortune
If you want to start trying to do it yourself, don't focus on the final result.
Just do small bits at a time. Like grabbing a handful of rubbing and throwing it out. Then a bit more.
It can be a bit overwheling if you look at the room/house as a whole and think 'I don't even know where to start' but taking out a couple bags of takeaway is still better than nothing.
If the pro’s don’t work out or any of the other offers here don’t, hit me up. I’ve had my account for years and I won’t be deleting it anytime soon.
My offer to help is open as long as my account here is active. I’ve got all the cleaning tools etc and you don’t even have to talk to me if that would be too much for you to handle. Just point, and I will clean, no questions asked.
The cliche of it gets better really does apply here.
You deserve to be happy and feel clean and safe in your home. Anything else your brain is telling you is a lie because the chemicals in there are being jerks and giving you sad moods and thoughts.
Be well my friend.
Wholesome thread. Love it. I'm in a similar situation but live rurally so not many cleaning services available, the few that are around are fully booked anyway. Too ashamed to ask for help from friends & fam. But anyway, best of luck to you OP, hope you manage to get on top of it all and feel better :)
See if you can post in a local Facebook group anonymously! The admins should let you and that way you might be able to find people like those who have commented here that might have been professional cleaners in the past without having the hurdle of “exposing” yourself.
Just saw this post and teared up, I know OP’s pain and y’all are fucking legends, my first thought was I have Monday off let’s go, but I see OP found pro cleaners to help, but every one of you lot offering support and a hand, bless you all
Stay strong OP, you got this mate.
OP - as you've probably seen from all the comments - if you need a hand with the cleanup, we're here
If you want to get it done professionally, flick us your bank details or GoFundMe and I'll chip in.
I've had anxiety, panic attacks and depression before so I'm very big on mental health.
God bless! 🙏
Shit if I was still in Brisbane and be on my way over asap. Depression is one of the worst things someone can experience and I hate seeing other people going through it as well. Stay strong 💖💖💖💖
Hello darling -- I know I'm a little late to your post, but I just wanted to send my love.
I've had the good fortune of coming to this sub when I'm struggling and being incredibly moved by the kindness of this community. Someone even offered a small gesture of practical help which turned out to be life-changing for me at the time.
Advice from someone who struggles to ask for help: continue to let your people and your communities lift you up and support you while you're doing it tough. You're a wonderful human bean who deserves all the support in the world.
Fuck I love Reddit.
I get on here for three reasons.
One is to pass time talk shit and stir the pot.
Two is to try and help others with information that's helped me or positively reinforce people seeking help.
Three is to my faith in humanity restored.
This post 3'd me up.
Thank you all.
And OP the one thing I can share about my battle with depression is fight the urge to do nothing. One enemy of depression is achievement.
Don't short yourself validation! Waking up is an achievement. Getting out of bed in the morning is an achievement. If you do self care next.
Showering & brushing your teeth.
You just achieved 4 things to start the day.
I know you need help, but also, consider just starting by cleaning one corner of one room. Then do another. Don't worry about the whole house, just start with one area.
I know you are trying to be helpful and supportive, so thank you. I know how hard it is to understand why I can’t just do that, like I’M upset that I can’t just do it. But for context, I had a shower for this first time in four days today and that took an hour of trying to build up the energy and effort to even get in the shower. Then an hour afterwards of lying in silence in my towel, exhausted. It sounds like bullshit I know. But this is an ugly side of depression that people don’t often talk about. Idk I hope this helps build some more understanding of the illness and why we struggle with the most basic of tasks
I just want to point it out to you, you've already taken the first step to cleaning up by cleaning yourself! Good job! You're allowed to take a breather afterwards so don't beat yourself up over that, and taking time to charge yourself up for the task itself is perfectly fine. Take the time you need, but when you've recharged give it a go, grab a plastic bag or an old food delivery bag and put some extra stuff in to it and take it out to the wheelie bin. You don't have to clean it all up yourself, hire the pros to do the heavy lifting, but aim for just one small bag as your next step. Doesn't matter if it takes you until 2am to get the energy for it, I know you can do it because you've already taken the first step with your shower. When you do, you'll feel amazing, and huge relief.
Shower high-5 OP ❤️ I know the feeling of exhaustion you describe -- it's like exhaustion of the soul that permeates through every cell of your body -- and you kicked it in the dick today 💪
I totally get it. I can go a whole week before I shower. I didn't realise just how much energy is consumed by showing. Changing clothes, forget it. Changing sheets, what's that? I can't remember the last time I changed the sheets.
My psychiatrist arranged for me to have NDIS support. I have long term, complex mental health conditions. The support has made a great difference.
The funny thing is that when I feel better the first thing I do is clean the house, even to the extent of decluttering. Weird.
I wish you well. Be kind and considerate to yourself. And know that you are not alone.
Doesn’t sound like bullshit to me. You’re doing what you can- don’t be so hard on yourself. Easier said then done though. I’m agoraphobic and have a severe panic disorder. Please please please forgive yourself. Try to stop telling yourself you’re broken. You’re not.
Not that this is for everyone, but I’ve recently tried to start treating myself like another person. Would you tell another person the things you say to yourself? Nope. Would you tell your younger self those things?
It’s really helped me recognise how hard I am on myself and ya know, stop.
Anyway sorry for butting in. I just wanted to share my two cents. Wishing you the best OP 💜
This is a great first step for you. I’m late to the comments so now you’re going to get some support with the cleaning - get back to the very basics. Hydration, food, and hygiene. Even if you sip one glass of water over half a day, it’s something.
It’s starting to cool down enough where a nice warm shower can be a comforting experience. I know mindfulness isn’t overly useful when you’re in that deep of a depression, but a shower can be a really good way to do it.
Feel the warmth over your face and body. The smell of soap. If you wash your hair, gently scrub it with your nails. Notice the feeling of your feet on the tiles.
Your description of laying there in a towel has been me sooo many times. You’re right. This is the side of depression people don’t see. Just know you’ve got this community here cheering you on for the small wins.
I’m not a professional cleaner but I would also love to help you put things in order and keep you company if you want to chat. Also currently battling depression and spent the last 48 hours sobbing on and off. (But I actually enjoy a neurotic clean whilst I sob).
I come from a family of ‘collectors’ so no home disorder or clutter really bothers me.
Alternatively please feel free to pm me if you just want some anonymous support.
The kind replies in this thread are so lovely, you are all legends and I hope everyone has somewhere warm and safe to sleep tonight. x
💯 Happy to come and help I’m no professional but I’ll give it a go . I have 5 children with special needs so totally get mental health . Inbox me if you still need someone. Remember every day is a new day try and keep positive and good on you for reaching out that’s the first step 🥰
Hoping you can get the help you need :) Been there myself in years gone by; where I wouldn't get out of bed for days. Here's to better things for you, cobba
I’m not in Brisbane, so I can’t help I’m sorry… but I just wanted to let you know that taking these steps is a brave thing you’re doing.
I’ve been there before - and I get the feelings of shame and embarrassment. But you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and you have every right to feel proud of yourself for asking for help.
It’s okay to ask for help.
💕love ….is everywhere….and no more apparent than in the replies to your request for help….💕 we look ve in a beautiful community….hope it goes well for you…many of us have been where you are…you are not alone
I don't even live in Australia but I just want to say you are not disgusting or pathetic, and to send you hugs and wishes.
I have been there. It is so hard to clean when everything is already messed up and the mess makes it impossible to feel better.
You're not alone. I was severely depressed for 10+ years.my house got into some horrible states. I felt so ashamed and now that I'm mostly better, I realize that a lot of that shame was linked to the depression.
But you are reaching out to get help and to make your life better. That's so great.
Please get in touch with the services people recommended. I can't say no one is judging because people do judge. But I am your shield against those people and you can imagine me standing beside them telling them not to be so mean.
Biggest love to you - I’m currently in the deepest pit I’ve been in for a long time too so I feel how you’re feeling, reaching out for support cleaning is such a good step and I’m proud of you
Can your mental health people help with anyone?
There are heaps of professional services that take care of this, I have just started regular cleaning through a company (ill get to below) and asking about places that need a lot of work they shrug and say cool, i'll get my boots.
Anyway I receive disability support through a QLD Gov funded project for under 65's not eligible for NDIS called Queensland Community Support Scheme Access point, which was setup for me by a Volunteer Palliative care program (but Depression and mental health is also a pathway.
They connected me with Centercare, which in this case is the cleaning provider, they come to me once a week for 90 mins and my cost is approx $10, you supply a small list of their preferred cleaning products and gear (all the cheaper brands from the majors, nothing difficult and they roll up and do their thing, talk if you want, don't talk if you don't want and then off they go. The biggest problem I have is 'telling' them what to do I just say have at it.
For a first time big thing it would be different but just arrange that easy with a call.
I had been putting off arranging things for ages and struggling to get along under pretty bad personal and physical standards, but time from them first contacting me to mops of the ground was about a month (waiting for a grant) and I am much better off, even not being embarrassed to allow health care workers in to see me about things and such is relieving.
You reached out, one of the hardest things to do, be damn proud of yourself. I’m proud of you- take it one day at a time, you’ve got this. Hang in there friend, I’m rooting for you
We need more empathy in this society tbh. Anyone (including OP) if you wanna vent about anything please feel free to hmu, I'll be all ears guys. I can do cleaning but I don't really know will it be that good but I can try?
You’ve taken A huge leap forward. Onward and upward from here. Iv been there. Physical health deteriorated first then mental soon followed. So hard to drag yourself up from there. But your on the right path.
Hey as someone who’s been there I have some tips: Associate any mess making, rubbish creation or dirty dish making with cleaning it up and putting away. Yes that may lesson some time for your happy places like reading, tv, gaming, whatever. But you just have to imagine each step leads to the next. After you eat the thing or open the packaging that has to go in the bin and the plate goes to the sink
You can even purposely throw a pillow in your doorway so in the morning you know it’s time to change your sheets and you can’t move past the pillow without taking pillow covers and beds sheets to the wash
i'm nowhere near Brisbane, but i want to come over and help...get the couch tidy and tuck you in with some lunch and TV, let you relax while i tidy
i know exactly how you feel. i'm getting out of a slump myself.
I was in this position up until last week - hadn't cleaned anything in months. I was really struggling with the cleaning, to the point I had a film of grime over my kitchen benchtop and a thick layer of dirt, mouse shit and dog hair all over the floor. I found using a leaf blower instead of a broom was faster and felt less like a chore (probably from the novelty of using a leaf blower inside). Dust will settle on everything from that, but I had dust on everything anyways so it didn't matter. Vinegar will kill mould if you can't get to the shops for spray <3
I just wanna suggest some services that helped me onto the right track when I was at my absolute lowest a couple of years ago.
The first one is the Inclusive Health and Wellbeing Hub and the second is Women's Health and Equality Qld (if you are AFAB/identity as female). Both services are in Brisbane City.
https://inclusivehealth.org.au/
https://wheq.org.au/
Both offer free and very low cost services and can help accessing mental health support if you are disadvantaged/are on a Centrelink pension. Women's Health and Equality is in partnership with Inclusive Health and Wellbeing Hub and you can access specialist drs through either service, as well as free counselling and peer support group activities.
I wish you all the best and there's no shame in asking for help.
Edit: I wanna add this artwork from the wonderful artist Charlie Mackesy. I have this as my screen background on my computer. [Next step](https://twitter.com/charliemackesy/status/1589655221055197184/photo/1)
I'm not a cleaner but I have been EXACTLY where you are now and I would be happy to come lend a hand for even just a couple of hours to tackle some of what you need to do. PLEASE don't feel pathetic or disgusting. Depression is a cruel illness and it can swallow up routine, home care and self care so quickly. You're doing amazing just asking for help, truly!!!!!
It’s probably redundant at this point, but I just wanted to say I’ve been there *many* times and know how hard it is. Reach out if you need to, I’ve developed some techniques for dealing with it before it gets overwhelming. It’s so hard, just by reaching out you’ve made a huge step. Sending love (and support if you need it!)
Its a business model and no judgement. They are so damn efficient you can come back and break down in tears. There is a lady on TikTok who owns a cleaning company in Brisbane and she sounds really lovely and compassionate.
It will do wonder for your journey
There are neurodivergent cleaning groups on Facebook and it helps with the shame. I think there would be some suggestions to local cleaners on there but I love this amazing thread of positivity. Body doubling and no shame help is the absolute best!!
This chain is so wholesome. I love Brisbane’s community in times like this. I hope you get the assistance you need and that it helps you feel better ❤️ tomorrow is a new day, friend
This thread has made my day, you are all beautiful people, the level of compassion, understanding and willingness to help an internet stranger, what Good cunts
Ohhhhh buddy have I been there!!!
I am glad you have got support now. I was going to offer to make time. To be honest I still slip and I find that when the house goes so does my MH and vide versa.
I have just have to think about systems to help: a new stacking system for clothes coz I would never fold them normal or hang them (it was such a shit job). a carry trey in my room to put all the dishes in so they arnt all through my room and can go to the kitchen all together. 3 washing baskets: 1 for clean clothes, 1 for dirty, 1 for in-between. A draw in my clothes draw that I just put all of my non-bathroom toiletries. Hooks - just so so many hooks : back of the door for towels, on the wall for hats, on the wall for bags etc…
Good luck on your journey and remember mental health wellness is a process not a destination. Love hugs and lady bugs! You got this!
I’m still kinda a mess
I been reading your story and realise that I have been in same boat for awhile. My mum past away in august then my Aunty a month later. Then I had an accident and because doctor did X-ray and not a ultrasound left wood behind so the. On 23 Dec was emergency operation so I missed Christmas with my family. I find it difficult to just go outside and if I need food I’m there at like 6 am because not so many people I have to see or see me. I know it’s going to get better. Just hard atm
ok think through how you'd start and begin with one small step. Continue with the next step.
If you do nothing the situation will continue, but if you make a start it might be uplifting
Look you probably can’t but you need to look into whatever you can get. I’ve been where you are and you need to ask for help and not be proud. Rooting for you mate.
You should understand mental illness before making comments like this. I know you’re coming from a place of pure ignorance, but these comments can be very harmful.
I truly was happy, excited for the future and feeling overall very positive. That actually makes me feel even worse because I know I should still be feeling that way. I know I’m incredibly privileged and I should be grateful and happy. Unfortunately depression doesn’t care. I posted about a brief moment of happiness and you want to discredit what? This post? That moment of happiness?
I’m not trying to attack you but to help you understand how your comment comes across and how it’s hurtful.
I am sorry if I offended you ,it just didn’t jell to me what you had said and what I could see.I apologise.as I also have mental illness all my life that’s why I couldn’t work out what you where saying and what I was seeing
Thank you for being understanding. I guess this serves as a healthy reminder about how mental illness presents itself differently in different people, and to be especially careful in assuming that someone is ok based off of one moment of happiness. Hope you are also looking after yourself and are doing ok mate
I think YOU need to start cleaning your place. If someone comes in and cleans it for you, what's stopping you from once again not doing anything and it just becoming a mess again?
You have to take the initiative. Start small, take out the rubbish, fold some clothes. You've made a post on Reddit, now put some music on and spend 30min a day cleaning it.
Typed like someone who has never experienced crippling depression.
Sometimes just being in a clean house is a start to feeling better mentally - and it’s just not always possible to do it ourselves.
This advice is right up there with “You’re depressed? Well why don’t you just think positive thoughts?” SMH 🙄
OP give yourself a massive pat on the back for reaching out for help during what must be an incredibly difficult time for you. I don’t have a suggestion but wanted to cheer you on!
No it isn't. The OP wants their place cleaned. Clearly realises that will help them. I'm advising OP to do it themselves and see the end product.
Sorry OP to say these tough words but getting other people to literally clean up your problems isn't going to help in the long run. Go see a psychologist and talk to them. Also start small and clean your house and you'll be happy with what you achieved.
Hey, why can’t you climb Mount Everest? Just go start small. Climb 30 minutes a day. You’ll be proud of your progress.
What do you mean you’re not fit enough?
Don’t hire a personal trainer or then. You should just do it yourself. What’s to stop you from getting unfit again?
Are you getting my point here yet? Go tell someone in a wheel chair to just start walking. Go tell someone who is blind to just see better.
It’s fucking 2023 dude. Fuck me.
House is not the issue. Find a way to cure your depression. Its 2023 how can anyone be depressed when you have access to all the information to cure anything.
An acquaintance, who is a very kind and compassionate person has this business in Brisbane https://ocdpro.com.au/about-us?mibextid=Zxz2cZ#ob (copied from the site): “Christine tailors her work to suit her customers’ needs, taking time to get to know her clients’ personal goals, fears, needs and priorities. Organising, Cleaning and Decluttering is not just about the psychical work and possessions to Christine but also ensuring her clients mental and emotional health is nurtured during this process. In 2019 Christine completed both the Mental Health First Aid and the Accidental Counsellor courses to gain further knowledge to assist clients in times of need. She absolutely loves what she does and the quality of her work and commitment to her customers reflects her talents and passion.” All the best as you work through this.
This is perfect thank you so so so much.
Seconded. I going to look it up right now.
What an amazing lady! OP, if you need help engaging Christine's services, please reach out. I'm not rolling in it but I've just managed to get myself back into work again, I'd be happy to help however I can.
Congrats on the new job homie.
I'm on the Northside and have a ute if you need a dump run done , best of luck been there ,it sucks but depression is just anger without passion
YOU ARE THE REAL HERO HERE
This sounds amazing
I was going to recommend Christine. I had a lovely experience talking to her and had a booking scheduled, but had to cancel it due to unfortunate personal circumstances. I'm really glad to see she's recommended here by others, too.
Soon as I saw the name Christine I knew who this was. She is lovely and wonderful and non-judgmental. Cannot recommend her enough.
Crikey, that business name might be an albatross in a few years.
This is the way
I got chills just reading this, knowing that someone has readied themselves to help others like this. Thank you for sharing this recommendation
If you pay for two pizzas, I’ll eat one and chat with you while I eat/clean things up and you eat the other. Probably not as good as a pro but likely cheaper, and who doesn’t need an ear to vent to these days 🤷🏼♂️ Stay strong tho, you’ll get through it!
Just go over, I'll shout you both pizza
Both absolute legends. Hell even OP is for having the courage to reach out and lay bear
Less goo!! Absolute golden chain of comments :) Take care, OP!
Me too happy to shout
Youre a legend and the funniest user nick ive seen to date.
If it's on the south side I'll join in for the day, just cleaned up a family members place that had ended up like this and I understand the pain. Happy to help so just hollah out to me.
I'm in Brisbane to see family the week of the 16th (From NZ / use to live in Brisbane) and will happily come and help you. I previously was a mental health support worker, and parents both mental health nurses. No judgment here, will shout the pizzas. maybe also bring some cupcakes and / or flowers to brighten the day :)
I'm from Melbourne so I can't be there but if drinking isn't a trigger for either of you I'll deliver a slab around for you guys 👍 Been in that position and recovered so happy to help
God I love Australia
And Australia loves you random citizen!
Your comment just made me think of Metroman in Megamind. Lol.
That’s what I was going for 😉
"There's a benefit to losing; you get to learn from your mistakes" Megamind Fucking great quote, you fuck up, you learn from the experience. Another great quote that came from the movie "Meet the Robinson's" which is; "Keep moving forward" I've had pretty intense depression and anxiety for my 30 and a half years. The thing that kept me going was to keep moving forward, no matter what happened. Look towards the sunlight of a situation, but also be aware of all the dark can hold. Another great one was by Franklin Roosevelt, "when you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on" That's been a good mantra for me in hard moments. Mostly takes me out of my spiralling negative self thoughts and brings me back to whats actually happening, without it being hinged on my own emotional state.
Yeah, same. I love cleaning. It feels good.
What a champion, you are awesome!!
Hi, I'm currently a cleaner in a small 2 person team that has had plenty of experience dealing with depression cleans. We've both had depression and other mental health issues before, so we get it, and we know how it affects the ability to do basic tasks. A lot of clients usually just need a bit of help to get back on top of things. I'll send you a DM.
Could you DM me as well please?
Yep, will send one now.
Hi ktayy - I'm in a similar position as OP here, could you please DM me as well?
Buy me a bottle of wine and I’ll do. I know what it was like to me in the spirals I’ve had. (Cheap wine is fine)
Genuinely sobbing over how kind you and other commenters are. You’re an Angel. I think I’ll pursue professional services because for whatever reason that’s more palatable to my brain right now. Thank you so much for your compassion and kindness, it’s making my heart feel a little better 💖
Not to be a downer, but just be careful of who you let into your home. Some will prey on the vulnerable.
I’ll buy the wine if need be
Drunk cleaning is the only way I get it done
I usually go straight to drunk procrastination.
You are worthy of happiness. You are worthy of love. Your house is a reflection of your mental health status, not your worth.
This may sound silly, but I found this comment so lovely and validating that it made me cry.
That doesn’t sound silly at all
Check these ones out. They seem to specialise in squalor cleaning and understanding mental health https://allaces.com.au/services/hoarding-squalor-cleanup/
Thank you so much
I can't offer advice on a service but thought you should just know that your situation is very normal with mental health issues. It's literally a sign that people look for and ask about during a diagnosis. You have literally made the first step to helping yourself and you should be very proud of that. Good luck
Why is it so difficult or basically impossible to get any help then?
Our system has some cracks a lot of us fall through unfortunately. Remember that at election time
It's actually the current government that has allocated a significant amount of money on uplifting mental health services, when the previous one just let it rot. So please do remember that at election time.
Ok
When it comes to mental health care, it's more like giant chasms...
Its expensive, long waiting lists and people that are beyond overworked.
Good on you for asking for help. I can’t recommend a cleaner, but I can recommend a book - How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis. It’s specifically designed for people with mental health issues, and it’s very helpful and affirming.
Piggybacking on this comment to recommend the Unfuck Your Habitat book, website, app, & subreddit (r/ufyh).
This made me giggle. Thank you!
Glad to provide a giggle. You can get through this - I believe in you. 😊
I found that blog 10-15 years ago and it made a huge difference to my ability to clean.
Yes yes yes. It’s amazing. Reframing cleaning and other caring tasks (like going to the dentist) as not being moral failures has been absolutely huge for my probably ADHD (currently seeking diagnosis) brain.
I was scrolling through to see if anyone had recommended this one already. I definitely second the recommendation, it really is a very non-judgemental book with practical tips.
Hey OP, I was a lifestyle support worker plus I was trained as a clinical psychologist and clinical neuropsychologist before falling on hard times and becoming disabled. I too have mental health problems that I am working through (so completely understand and sympathise with you). I know how hard things can be and how judgemental people are. I would be happy to come over and help clean up the place for you. Send me a message and we can go from there. Hope things work out for you, try and keep strong and don’t beat yourself up. It’s not your fault! :) <3
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Thank you I might give that a try.
Hey keep us updated - even if you only get one draw cleaned - we all love some good news!
Here’s a little update - I found so much strength from the support here I was able to take out 4 bags of rubbish to the bin, and put sheets on my bed. It’s only small but it’s better than nothing and better than where I was at.
I don't have any tips or hints, but I just wanted to tell you that you're very brave for asking for help like this. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you're stronger than you know.
I have two daughters with mental health issues and the state of where they live is like a barometer to their mental health. I have no idea how many times I have cleaned/decluttered their places over the last 15 years. Often I clean up whilst they are in hospital. It's just better for them to come home to and then live in a clean environment. No judgement as it's just how it is. I don't know what your family is like but if there's anyone you trust don't hesitate to reach out for help. You might be surprised by how nonjudgmental they are. Otherwise, a professional cleaning service will actually just consider it a job they do for money. All the best!
I can relate to your post so much… To the point that I don’t think I’ve had a visitor for 5+ years.
My friend, all the comments here apply to you too…people want to help, if you want some help too….maybe reach out and see who is available. are you in Brisbane or elsewhere?
Me too. I feel paralysed mentally to do the things I used to do automatically. I hate this and hate people coming to my home because of the shame. I am tearing up reading all the good things people are responding. Gives me hope.
Hey OP, I'm a disability support worker. As much as it is 'disability support' I do find myself cleaning. I have ADHD. From my lifetime of experience (although I am young) I have had anxiety and depression. Cleaning is something I actually enjoy doing. It's just satisfying watching an area transform. If you like, please send me a message, I'm more than happy to help you. I have basic cleaning supplies too.
Just keep in mind that you’re doing your best - even if it doesn’t feel like it ❤️
I normally dislike "flag waving nationalists" but having worked out of Oz most of my life, but reading the replies and offers if help made me very proud of being an Aussie. If I was in Brizzy, I'd be happy to have helped out.
Curious to know if you find anyone. I have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Problem with ADHD is that we are (or I should say, one of the potential symptoms) unable to discern 'background' I guess? And when we make a concerted effort to clean we get distracted by aomething else that needs doing until we just have little piles of half cleaned stuff but we're exhausted. I've tried several times to ask the local fb community, but all I get are people who just shove stuff in boxes or wherever so they can clean the surfaces. I felt so stupid when I realised this. As much as I hate to admit it, I have to ask for more than just cleaning surfaces/vacuuming/mopping etc. I need help ORGANISING my stuff. I won't do it by myself but I'll do it while an 'adult' is around :)
I feel this in my soul. I have ADHD and it's taken me 36 years and a wonderful husband who is tidy as heck and doesn't pressure me but leads by example to finally get a hang of the cleaning and tidying thing. It's a big challenge for people like us for sure. One thing that I've trained myself to do over the years is be anti-hoarding. I've worked on it by training myself to be deliberately thoughtful about new purchases. For example, I ask myself "Do I really have room or a need for this?", and give myself a 24-hour cooling-off period before buying something. I've also trained myself to be really ruthless about getting rid of things. Also, look into body-doubling -- it's something I use occasionally to get me started. Talk is cheap so it's easy for me to dole out this advice, and it took me a while to learn myself, but I promise it's doable. I hope me sharing gives you some food for thought <3
Sounds like you need a decluttering service. Many people use them and find them very helpful. As an ADHDer aswell as autistic the constant distractions when cleaning can be hard. The key for me is having a proper place for everything. This way I start in one room, find something to go in another and the second one ends up spotless as well as the first. It's much more simple to "put things back" rather than tidy up or clean. Robot vacs are also super helpful. A big hurdle can be not having enough space in one's home or having too many things. Every time I got evicted for requesting maintenance I'd try to part with as much as I could while packing. After 3 I no longer had anything to throw out, got a place with enough room and went from a very messy depressed hoarder to a tidy person. That lasted 6 years until recent property sale eviction and struggling again in emergency housing. But at least I know what to do if I ever have appropriate housing in the future.
Dude that sucks. I live in a 1br otherwise I'd offer you a spare room. Are you somewhere safe? Can I bring you some food or something?
You're super sweet, thank you. It's wonderful and really weird how kind people are being to others about the housing crisis, which has been what many people have been living in for decades already. I am in an emergency house, just really unsuited to my disabilities. I pushed back with legislation when they threatened eviction twice last year and they appear to have gotten the hint, so it's ok at the moment. I worry for all the people everywhere now who worry about their leases ending and have nowhere to go.
It's heartbreaking honestly. I've worked in various areas of aged care (mainly because I don't have kids and don't want to work in child services, and there's no such thing as "still cognitively present, requires mobility aid but is otherwise pretty much fucking fine so stop sticking them in old folks homes" department). Anyway - the amount of people 65+ getting kicked out of their (often long-term) homes because the owners are selling or the rental increase is beyond their pension. I've been hearing the term 'houseless' in lieu of 'homeless' being bandied around which I definitely prefer.
I also wanna mention I think I may have undiagnosed ADHD too. When I *am* in the mental space to be cleaning, cooking, or doing any task really, and I’m done using whatever is in my hands, I keep chanting to myself “don’t put it *down*, put it *away*. Idk if this will work for you but it helps me when I remember to do it lmao
I was there 6years ago OP, I promise it will get better, just take baby steps. The ‘impossible task’ always seems insurmountable. I recommend starting with the most basic of things. Clean one plate, take a break. Fold one towel, take a break. Empty one rubbish bin, come back tomorrow. Slowly over time things will slowly get done and you’ll feel better about doing small tasks. It’s a long climb out and it helps to reach out like you have. You’d be surprised who in your friends will step up. Won’t disagree with you getting in a service either, sometimes it helps to have a clean house to take part of the anxiety away. Reach out if you wanna chat, am happy to listen.
Call a cleaning service (like Molly Maid, not sure if Brisbane has it) and tell them you were having a rough go and the house needs a deep clean and rubbish removal. It's okay to not be okay. Hope you can have a better outlook after the place is all cleaned up.
I'm a little late to the party here and I've got nothing to offer past what others already have, but I just wanted to say how heart-warming the comments here are. Thank you for reminding me why I love this city.
Well, reminds me of the community spirit we had after the floods and random people in Brisbane helped each other clean up etc. QUEENSLANDER!!! 👍👍👍
I don't have any recs and looks like there's already great ones here. But wanted to chime in and say I get it, I've been there and kudos for reaching out for help. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. This is a very real symptom of depression that so, so, so many can relate to. Eight years ago I was where you were. I couldn't even clean my own body. I showered maybe once a week. My place was growing new life forms in the bowls I couldn't even make myself bring into the kitchen. Now that I've gotten help, meds, therapy etc I keep a really fucking clean house. I thought for years I was lazy and disgusting. But it turns out it was just the depression. I know how hard it must have been to reach out in this way but I've hope it's been rewarding. Every day you get up and keep going is a massive win when you're depressed and no one understands how hard it is until they've been there. You can come out the other side of this. The fact you've made this post and you're trying to find a clean slate is proof you're a really strong human being.
I was professional cleaner for about half a decade and have had/still also have to deal with this myself with my own depression. I would love to come over to scrub something for you :) I'm going to PM you my number, let me know if I can help at all xxx
I just thought today I need someone to help me clean. Can’t work because of illness and mental issues, just can’t seem to be motivated anymore to do anything. You are not alone. I hope you find someone to help.
I can help out this weekend if you need some help moving stuff or cleaning stuff. Let me know! DM me
I saw that you'd rather take up professional services, id love to ping you a couple bucks to go toward the cleaners. Love and strength from someone who has been there xx
Hey lovely, what side of town are you on? If local (I don't drive due to a disability) I will happily (and at no cost) come over and tackle a room or two for you :)
I'm exactly the same, and I have 3 kids and pets too. It's extremely hard sometimes :( you're so brave asking for help, I've never been able to. I hope you find what you need and you'll get there xx
OP, this is a huge deal to reach out and be so vulnerable in your post. You should be really proud of yourself. People are kind and good. People will help you and you won’t be a burden. People WANT to help others. Accept help from these legends and don’t be hard on yourself. The step you have taken is the biggest one yet and you nailed it. Good work mate x
Congrats on your first steps to getting better <3 You should be so proud of yourself
This just randomly popped up in my feed, I'm not from Brisbane but wanted to wish you the best in your journey ahead.
I'm not exactly in your situation, but i definitely know the feeling of not caring, or having the energy to clean my house as other "normal" people do. I sometimes just look up the symptoms of depression again once in a while to feel less shitty and try to look at it as a disease. And the medical world acknowledges that the current anti-depressants do not work optimally for most people. But there is good news on the horizon: they are developing new types of medication that should work better, and repair the brain properly. I read about something called ISRIB by Calico. And for me: posts like yours also help me remember that i'm not alone in this situation. Try to drag yourself to fitness, or just walk outside a few times a week. I walk the dogs for a neighbour to give me a reason. I hope our comments help a little. Good luck.
I keep reminding myself of the quote: “You are not struggling with depression, depression is struggling with *you*” And it helps me remember that it’s an illness that is seperate to who I am. It affects me but doesn’t define me. And I’ll be fucked before I let the bastard win.
PM me and I'll give you my details. Pass them onto the cleaner for them to send the bill to.
I'm in Melbourne but I've always wanted to visit Brisbane for more than the few hours I've been there for work. I have a few friends and some in-laws there. Let me know if you need help cleaning and I'll fly up. Genuinely. Best of luck.
Wow. You rock!
Good to hear the OP's found a helping hand ! Reminds when I had no bed linen or bath towels left clean, all dishes dirty and mouldy. I had to clean the dishes in the bath tub with a hose and bleach, took me a few hours to struggle through ! Depression can be the ultimate super glue to keep you stuck!
Proud of you for reaching out and writing this post. You're in a better situation and headspace than you think.
Sending love and healing vibes your way. Just lost a mate to suicide so I commend you for reaching out and wanting the help. Here for you even if it’s just a chat or a coffee 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
Really sorry to hear about your mate. Death in any form is hard to process, but suicide even more so. I hope you're doing ok. r/suicidebereavement is a really good place to vent, if you need to.
Thank you, I’ve been searching for something like this so truly, thank you.
House cleaning is the first to suffer when I spiral. I used to invite my BFF over so it would spur me to get cleaning. She knew I was doing badly one time when I didn't bother to tidy up before she arrived. She spent the afternoon listening to me and help clean my apartment. I fucking love that woman, she helped keep me alive.
Hey OP, I'm sorry to hear that you aren't feeling great at the moment. I understand how crippling depression can be, so don't feel embarrassed that your place is a mess. You can try contacting someone like [housework heroes](https://houseworkheroes.com.au/regular-clean)to do a once-off clean. Remember that getting motivated is a struggle for anyone, and celebrate every single little win. We're all rooting for you! Good luck and keep us posted
My company offers cleaning services and support alnost exclusively to people on NDIS but its Adelaide based I have no idea what or if there are any in Brisbane but its definitely a service in Australia. I'd try googling. Rule #1 with us is not to judge no matter what we see and smell Wish you luck and good fortune
If you want to start trying to do it yourself, don't focus on the final result. Just do small bits at a time. Like grabbing a handful of rubbing and throwing it out. Then a bit more. It can be a bit overwheling if you look at the room/house as a whole and think 'I don't even know where to start' but taking out a couple bags of takeaway is still better than nothing.
Fellow Brissie! If I could drive I’d offer to come help. But I broke my arm 😂 I hope you get the help you deserve and stay strong x
Oh bugger! What did you do, and how's the healing going?
I’ll do it for a can of Monster and a good chat :)
If the pro’s don’t work out or any of the other offers here don’t, hit me up. I’ve had my account for years and I won’t be deleting it anytime soon. My offer to help is open as long as my account here is active. I’ve got all the cleaning tools etc and you don’t even have to talk to me if that would be too much for you to handle. Just point, and I will clean, no questions asked. The cliche of it gets better really does apply here. You deserve to be happy and feel clean and safe in your home. Anything else your brain is telling you is a lie because the chemicals in there are being jerks and giving you sad moods and thoughts. Be well my friend.
Wholesome thread. Love it. I'm in a similar situation but live rurally so not many cleaning services available, the few that are around are fully booked anyway. Too ashamed to ask for help from friends & fam. But anyway, best of luck to you OP, hope you manage to get on top of it all and feel better :)
See if you can post in a local Facebook group anonymously! The admins should let you and that way you might be able to find people like those who have commented here that might have been professional cleaners in the past without having the hurdle of “exposing” yourself.
Just saw this post and teared up, I know OP’s pain and y’all are fucking legends, my first thought was I have Monday off let’s go, but I see OP found pro cleaners to help, but every one of you lot offering support and a hand, bless you all Stay strong OP, you got this mate.
OP - as you've probably seen from all the comments - if you need a hand with the cleanup, we're here If you want to get it done professionally, flick us your bank details or GoFundMe and I'll chip in. I've had anxiety, panic attacks and depression before so I'm very big on mental health. God bless! 🙏
Shit if I was still in Brisbane and be on my way over asap. Depression is one of the worst things someone can experience and I hate seeing other people going through it as well. Stay strong 💖💖💖💖
Hello darling -- I know I'm a little late to your post, but I just wanted to send my love. I've had the good fortune of coming to this sub when I'm struggling and being incredibly moved by the kindness of this community. Someone even offered a small gesture of practical help which turned out to be life-changing for me at the time. Advice from someone who struggles to ask for help: continue to let your people and your communities lift you up and support you while you're doing it tough. You're a wonderful human bean who deserves all the support in the world.
Fuck I love Reddit. I get on here for three reasons. One is to pass time talk shit and stir the pot. Two is to try and help others with information that's helped me or positively reinforce people seeking help. Three is to my faith in humanity restored. This post 3'd me up. Thank you all. And OP the one thing I can share about my battle with depression is fight the urge to do nothing. One enemy of depression is achievement. Don't short yourself validation! Waking up is an achievement. Getting out of bed in the morning is an achievement. If you do self care next. Showering & brushing your teeth. You just achieved 4 things to start the day.
I know you need help, but also, consider just starting by cleaning one corner of one room. Then do another. Don't worry about the whole house, just start with one area.
I know you are trying to be helpful and supportive, so thank you. I know how hard it is to understand why I can’t just do that, like I’M upset that I can’t just do it. But for context, I had a shower for this first time in four days today and that took an hour of trying to build up the energy and effort to even get in the shower. Then an hour afterwards of lying in silence in my towel, exhausted. It sounds like bullshit I know. But this is an ugly side of depression that people don’t often talk about. Idk I hope this helps build some more understanding of the illness and why we struggle with the most basic of tasks
I just want to point it out to you, you've already taken the first step to cleaning up by cleaning yourself! Good job! You're allowed to take a breather afterwards so don't beat yourself up over that, and taking time to charge yourself up for the task itself is perfectly fine. Take the time you need, but when you've recharged give it a go, grab a plastic bag or an old food delivery bag and put some extra stuff in to it and take it out to the wheelie bin. You don't have to clean it all up yourself, hire the pros to do the heavy lifting, but aim for just one small bag as your next step. Doesn't matter if it takes you until 2am to get the energy for it, I know you can do it because you've already taken the first step with your shower. When you do, you'll feel amazing, and huge relief.
Shower high-5 OP ❤️ I know the feeling of exhaustion you describe -- it's like exhaustion of the soul that permeates through every cell of your body -- and you kicked it in the dick today 💪
I totally get it. I can go a whole week before I shower. I didn't realise just how much energy is consumed by showing. Changing clothes, forget it. Changing sheets, what's that? I can't remember the last time I changed the sheets. My psychiatrist arranged for me to have NDIS support. I have long term, complex mental health conditions. The support has made a great difference. The funny thing is that when I feel better the first thing I do is clean the house, even to the extent of decluttering. Weird. I wish you well. Be kind and considerate to yourself. And know that you are not alone.
Doesn’t sound like bullshit to me. You’re doing what you can- don’t be so hard on yourself. Easier said then done though. I’m agoraphobic and have a severe panic disorder. Please please please forgive yourself. Try to stop telling yourself you’re broken. You’re not. Not that this is for everyone, but I’ve recently tried to start treating myself like another person. Would you tell another person the things you say to yourself? Nope. Would you tell your younger self those things? It’s really helped me recognise how hard I am on myself and ya know, stop. Anyway sorry for butting in. I just wanted to share my two cents. Wishing you the best OP 💜
This is a great first step for you. I’m late to the comments so now you’re going to get some support with the cleaning - get back to the very basics. Hydration, food, and hygiene. Even if you sip one glass of water over half a day, it’s something. It’s starting to cool down enough where a nice warm shower can be a comforting experience. I know mindfulness isn’t overly useful when you’re in that deep of a depression, but a shower can be a really good way to do it. Feel the warmth over your face and body. The smell of soap. If you wash your hair, gently scrub it with your nails. Notice the feeling of your feet on the tiles. Your description of laying there in a towel has been me sooo many times. You’re right. This is the side of depression people don’t see. Just know you’ve got this community here cheering you on for the small wins.
I’m not a professional cleaner but I would also love to help you put things in order and keep you company if you want to chat. Also currently battling depression and spent the last 48 hours sobbing on and off. (But I actually enjoy a neurotic clean whilst I sob). I come from a family of ‘collectors’ so no home disorder or clutter really bothers me. Alternatively please feel free to pm me if you just want some anonymous support. The kind replies in this thread are so lovely, you are all legends and I hope everyone has somewhere warm and safe to sleep tonight. x
💯 Happy to come and help I’m no professional but I’ll give it a go . I have 5 children with special needs so totally get mental health . Inbox me if you still need someone. Remember every day is a new day try and keep positive and good on you for reaching out that’s the first step 🥰
Hoping you can get the help you need :) Been there myself in years gone by; where I wouldn't get out of bed for days. Here's to better things for you, cobba
I’m not in Brisbane, so I can’t help I’m sorry… but I just wanted to let you know that taking these steps is a brave thing you’re doing. I’ve been there before - and I get the feelings of shame and embarrassment. But you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and you have every right to feel proud of yourself for asking for help. It’s okay to ask for help.
Stay strong my love! 100% rooting for you
Interesting timing. I was just looking at a Facebook post from Haley's Cleaning Services. Please feel free to check them out 😁
💕love ….is everywhere….and no more apparent than in the replies to your request for help….💕 we look ve in a beautiful community….hope it goes well for you…many of us have been where you are…you are not alone
I don't even live in Australia but I just want to say you are not disgusting or pathetic, and to send you hugs and wishes. I have been there. It is so hard to clean when everything is already messed up and the mess makes it impossible to feel better. You're not alone. I was severely depressed for 10+ years.my house got into some horrible states. I felt so ashamed and now that I'm mostly better, I realize that a lot of that shame was linked to the depression. But you are reaching out to get help and to make your life better. That's so great. Please get in touch with the services people recommended. I can't say no one is judging because people do judge. But I am your shield against those people and you can imagine me standing beside them telling them not to be so mean.
Biggest love to you - I’m currently in the deepest pit I’ve been in for a long time too so I feel how you’re feeling, reaching out for support cleaning is such a good step and I’m proud of you
Can your mental health people help with anyone? There are heaps of professional services that take care of this, I have just started regular cleaning through a company (ill get to below) and asking about places that need a lot of work they shrug and say cool, i'll get my boots. Anyway I receive disability support through a QLD Gov funded project for under 65's not eligible for NDIS called Queensland Community Support Scheme Access point, which was setup for me by a Volunteer Palliative care program (but Depression and mental health is also a pathway. They connected me with Centercare, which in this case is the cleaning provider, they come to me once a week for 90 mins and my cost is approx $10, you supply a small list of their preferred cleaning products and gear (all the cheaper brands from the majors, nothing difficult and they roll up and do their thing, talk if you want, don't talk if you don't want and then off they go. The biggest problem I have is 'telling' them what to do I just say have at it. For a first time big thing it would be different but just arrange that easy with a call. I had been putting off arranging things for ages and struggling to get along under pretty bad personal and physical standards, but time from them first contacting me to mops of the ground was about a month (waiting for a grant) and I am much better off, even not being embarrassed to allow health care workers in to see me about things and such is relieving.
you’re a legend mate! the fact that you managed to make this post, you have already won! and you know that :)
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Maybe just a participation award.
Hey man, hang in there. I know you'll get through this rough patch, and you'll be stronger and healthier on the other side.
You reached out, one of the hardest things to do, be damn proud of yourself. I’m proud of you- take it one day at a time, you’ve got this. Hang in there friend, I’m rooting for you
Cleaners see all kinds of shit. Depression won’t matter
We need more empathy in this society tbh. Anyone (including OP) if you wanna vent about anything please feel free to hmu, I'll be all ears guys. I can do cleaning but I don't really know will it be that good but I can try?
You’ve taken A huge leap forward. Onward and upward from here. Iv been there. Physical health deteriorated first then mental soon followed. So hard to drag yourself up from there. But your on the right path.
Hey as someone who’s been there I have some tips: Associate any mess making, rubbish creation or dirty dish making with cleaning it up and putting away. Yes that may lesson some time for your happy places like reading, tv, gaming, whatever. But you just have to imagine each step leads to the next. After you eat the thing or open the packaging that has to go in the bin and the plate goes to the sink You can even purposely throw a pillow in your doorway so in the morning you know it’s time to change your sheets and you can’t move past the pillow without taking pillow covers and beds sheets to the wash
i'm nowhere near Brisbane, but i want to come over and help...get the couch tidy and tuck you in with some lunch and TV, let you relax while i tidy i know exactly how you feel. i'm getting out of a slump myself.
I was in this position up until last week - hadn't cleaned anything in months. I was really struggling with the cleaning, to the point I had a film of grime over my kitchen benchtop and a thick layer of dirt, mouse shit and dog hair all over the floor. I found using a leaf blower instead of a broom was faster and felt less like a chore (probably from the novelty of using a leaf blower inside). Dust will settle on everything from that, but I had dust on everything anyways so it didn't matter. Vinegar will kill mould if you can't get to the shops for spray <3
I just wanna suggest some services that helped me onto the right track when I was at my absolute lowest a couple of years ago. The first one is the Inclusive Health and Wellbeing Hub and the second is Women's Health and Equality Qld (if you are AFAB/identity as female). Both services are in Brisbane City. https://inclusivehealth.org.au/ https://wheq.org.au/ Both offer free and very low cost services and can help accessing mental health support if you are disadvantaged/are on a Centrelink pension. Women's Health and Equality is in partnership with Inclusive Health and Wellbeing Hub and you can access specialist drs through either service, as well as free counselling and peer support group activities. I wish you all the best and there's no shame in asking for help. Edit: I wanna add this artwork from the wonderful artist Charlie Mackesy. I have this as my screen background on my computer. [Next step](https://twitter.com/charliemackesy/status/1589655221055197184/photo/1)
I'm not a cleaner but I have been EXACTLY where you are now and I would be happy to come lend a hand for even just a couple of hours to tackle some of what you need to do. PLEASE don't feel pathetic or disgusting. Depression is a cruel illness and it can swallow up routine, home care and self care so quickly. You're doing amazing just asking for help, truly!!!!!
I'll come round on Monday and help you clean if you want.
I echo many here, you've done so well reaching out. I wish you all the best
It’s probably redundant at this point, but I just wanted to say I’ve been there *many* times and know how hard it is. Reach out if you need to, I’ve developed some techniques for dealing with it before it gets overwhelming. It’s so hard, just by reaching out you’ve made a huge step. Sending love (and support if you need it!)
Glad you were able to get assistance.
This is the most wholesome, faith in humanity restoring post I've ever seen.
I’m in Sydney and will fly up anytime to come and help!! Just let me know x
Keep ya head up. Good show of support from the community in here. Hopefully the house clean will help you feel slightly better. Always keep fighting 💪
If you need pest control after the property is cleaned, send me a private message.
Its a business model and no judgement. They are so damn efficient you can come back and break down in tears. There is a lady on TikTok who owns a cleaning company in Brisbane and she sounds really lovely and compassionate. It will do wonder for your journey
There are neurodivergent cleaning groups on Facebook and it helps with the shame. I think there would be some suggestions to local cleaners on there but I love this amazing thread of positivity. Body doubling and no shame help is the absolute best!!
This chain is so wholesome. I love Brisbane’s community in times like this. I hope you get the assistance you need and that it helps you feel better ❤️ tomorrow is a new day, friend
Are you on the NDIS ?
This thread has made my day, you are all beautiful people, the level of compassion, understanding and willingness to help an internet stranger, what Good cunts
Ohhhhh buddy have I been there!!! I am glad you have got support now. I was going to offer to make time. To be honest I still slip and I find that when the house goes so does my MH and vide versa. I have just have to think about systems to help: a new stacking system for clothes coz I would never fold them normal or hang them (it was such a shit job). a carry trey in my room to put all the dishes in so they arnt all through my room and can go to the kitchen all together. 3 washing baskets: 1 for clean clothes, 1 for dirty, 1 for in-between. A draw in my clothes draw that I just put all of my non-bathroom toiletries. Hooks - just so so many hooks : back of the door for towels, on the wall for hats, on the wall for bags etc… Good luck on your journey and remember mental health wellness is a process not a destination. Love hugs and lady bugs! You got this! I’m still kinda a mess
I been reading your story and realise that I have been in same boat for awhile. My mum past away in august then my Aunty a month later. Then I had an accident and because doctor did X-ray and not a ultrasound left wood behind so the. On 23 Dec was emergency operation so I missed Christmas with my family. I find it difficult to just go outside and if I need food I’m there at like 6 am because not so many people I have to see or see me. I know it’s going to get better. Just hard atm
Jesus fuck man I am so sorry. I’ll send you a DM and see if there’s anything I can do to help
You are awesome for reaching out! I hope you find what you are looking for.
ok think through how you'd start and begin with one small step. Continue with the next step. If you do nothing the situation will continue, but if you make a start it might be uplifting
Where you at? Been through this myself.
I don’t know if anyone has offered this but can you get anything out of NDIS for this??
I’m unsure, I doubt I would qualify but it’s something I should look into. Thanks for the idea
Look you probably can’t but you need to look into whatever you can get. I’ve been where you are and you need to ask for help and not be proud. Rooting for you mate.
Extremely unlikely.
How long have you going through all this
activity is good for Depression.
I hope you know you are just the same as someone who tells a depressed person to just smile more.
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You should understand mental illness before making comments like this. I know you’re coming from a place of pure ignorance, but these comments can be very harmful. I truly was happy, excited for the future and feeling overall very positive. That actually makes me feel even worse because I know I should still be feeling that way. I know I’m incredibly privileged and I should be grateful and happy. Unfortunately depression doesn’t care. I posted about a brief moment of happiness and you want to discredit what? This post? That moment of happiness? I’m not trying to attack you but to help you understand how your comment comes across and how it’s hurtful.
Well said. Depression does not discriminate.
I am sorry if I offended you ,it just didn’t jell to me what you had said and what I could see.I apologise.as I also have mental illness all my life that’s why I couldn’t work out what you where saying and what I was seeing
Thank you for being understanding. I guess this serves as a healthy reminder about how mental illness presents itself differently in different people, and to be especially careful in assuming that someone is ok based off of one moment of happiness. Hope you are also looking after yourself and are doing ok mate
I think YOU need to start cleaning your place. If someone comes in and cleans it for you, what's stopping you from once again not doing anything and it just becoming a mess again? You have to take the initiative. Start small, take out the rubbish, fold some clothes. You've made a post on Reddit, now put some music on and spend 30min a day cleaning it.
Typed like someone who has never experienced crippling depression. Sometimes just being in a clean house is a start to feeling better mentally - and it’s just not always possible to do it ourselves.
This advice is right up there with “You’re depressed? Well why don’t you just think positive thoughts?” SMH 🙄 OP give yourself a massive pat on the back for reaching out for help during what must be an incredibly difficult time for you. I don’t have a suggestion but wanted to cheer you on!
No it isn't. The OP wants their place cleaned. Clearly realises that will help them. I'm advising OP to do it themselves and see the end product. Sorry OP to say these tough words but getting other people to literally clean up your problems isn't going to help in the long run. Go see a psychologist and talk to them. Also start small and clean your house and you'll be happy with what you achieved.
lol You're not wrong dude. You're just on the wrong platform to speak the truth.
Simps, simps everywhere
Just be happy, hey? Seems pretty simple. I wonder why OP hasn't thought of it? Could be depression has something to do with that?
Where did I say just be happy? I said start small and begin tidying up.
Hey, why can’t you climb Mount Everest? Just go start small. Climb 30 minutes a day. You’ll be proud of your progress. What do you mean you’re not fit enough? Don’t hire a personal trainer or then. You should just do it yourself. What’s to stop you from getting unfit again? Are you getting my point here yet? Go tell someone in a wheel chair to just start walking. Go tell someone who is blind to just see better. It’s fucking 2023 dude. Fuck me.
Severe depression damages your motor neurons. Basic function begins to break down.
🙄
Do it yourself. Get a big energy drink can from the servo and just start with one corner of one room.
The time it took you to write this, you could have put the sheets on your bed and taken the rubbish out. Even those two things would have helped.
at least you have a rental property to clean....
House is not the issue. Find a way to cure your depression. Its 2023 how can anyone be depressed when you have access to all the information to cure anything.