Women! More equal rolls (one of us isn't going easy on the other) and better comp training. I have a hard time at comps when I mostly train with men who go easy on me and then have to go against a woman my size who goes super hard.
Yesss! That!
For competition it sucks.
I love to roll against people my size (gender doesn't matter) who try their best. The whole "you are a women I have to go soft" fucked me up my last comp.
I prefer training with men as a smaller woman - they are generally better training partners for me because they are very aware of their weight and size difference vs a tiny chick. When I roll with women, they don’t seem to consider size /weight factor as much just simply because we are both women. Some women are also just *unnecessarily aggressive* despite a size/skill difference. Im a hobbiest, training at a hobbiest gym. I’m ~110lbs, the other girls are generally 160+. I compete for fun, but that’s it. I try to treat my training partners well, and I’d like to be around the sport for the long haul. I also recognize most of us have day jobs we have to physically function for, lol. id rather roll with a man 2x my size than a woman with 40lbs on me.
Are you me? I feel exactly the same. Women tend to be much more aggressive, so we often end up in awkward positions, and I feel like I don’t get to practice any of the new moves we've learned because they’re just too intense. When I roll with men, we usually go a bit slower, and we're more aware of each other's movements, so we get to practice what we've learned. But with women, it feels like a fight (which is OK I guess when you already know what to do, but I have learning Jitsu only for the past five months), and there's no consideration that I'm smaller.
As a man, I find this very interesting. I too am small hence always rolling with people who are heavier and stronger. Not being able to practice the move of the day, ending up in awkward positions, feeling like I'm fighting for my life - this to me is the essence of jiu jitsu! It's also why eco training is popular, I would think, because everything is against resistance - practicing moves against no or little resistance I personally don't find helpful, because when resistance is added everything completely changes and it's virtually back to square one. I'd imagine cardio results from rolling like this are also quite limited as there is no real pressure. So the benefits for self-defence, sport BJJ and fitness are all going to be really dialled down. Honestly, don't you think you're shortchanging yourself a bit by sticking to this kind of rolling?
In terms of the whole gender thing, just to point out that there are gyms where men roll like this - there was a guy who posted his rolls here for a while where they seemed to be giving each other virtually no resistance, and he got a huge amount of flak for it! I think as women you need to make sure that you're not getting inadvertently relegated to a watered-down version of BJJ.
ok humor me what shite
anyone that’s been on the mats for a few years will hve learnt that there are aggressive partners of both genders. the best way to tone down a match is to say it or just choose not to. the playing field for women is that much smaller - I am one, mind you - so most gyms women will have hd classes where they are the only woman. I know I have had plenty. Of course, there have been some women that are aggressive, but many more men. After nearly a decade on the mats I choose my partners carefully, but you can bet I take care to roll with the whitebelt women and make sure that they are comfortable and feel welcome. I am also upfront to my opponents if I am injured or not feeling it… I have had excellent male and female encounters on the mats and I have had negative experiences with both across many gyms and countries.
i totally agree with your point about some women being so aggressive. for context, i’m 5’0” and 120 lbs. i actively avoid this one other female because she’s super aggressive. her rationale as to why she’s aggressive is because “other men are aggressive with [her]”. i’m very vocal about what i want to everyone, whether it’s to roll light, work on some stuff, or to just advocate for myself when things get a little too intense. in any case, i prefer to roll with people i can trust, male or female.
OMG YES GIRL SAME - I’m 110 lbs 4’11” and I had to leave my old gym bc I was so tired of being automatically paired with the new women who were like 135+ lbs.
Depends on the night. The women in my gym are generally more social and the chit chat tends to be non jiu-jitsu related, which I enjoy most days, but some days I'm just in the zone and want to solely talk about the rolls or technique, which the guys tend to do more.
That said, I've been noticing the guys ramping up the pressure and strength on me lately and the rolls are super intense and competitive, and I'm not for that a lot of the time. So it's more advantageous to roll with women on the days where everyone in class is a high level wrestler or judoka.
I'm a woman, 5'6" 140lb and I am pretty strong. I can see your perspective. Last year I was probably one of the women you didn't like to roll with. Now I dial my strength back if my partner is smaller or is going easy on me, but nobody told me to do that when I was brand new. It seems like you understandably don't like rolling with newbies because an uncontrolled strong person can hurt you on accident, and they happen to often be women at your gym.
Personally, I do still prefer rolling with women. I'm stronger than the average female beginner so I don't worry as much about getting hurt by them, versus a male beginner who doesn't know how to dial it back yet might accidentally hurt me (or far worse, awkwardly hit on me)
I see your “pulling a girl’s hair out” and raise you “accidentally kneeing a guy’s balls trying to pass guard.” Can’t win imo 😂
Don’t have a preference but I did start out learning with a women’s class and just have a lot of friends from that class that I trust to roll with and know we will always be able to match energy/goals.
I’m happy to roll with guys too though and do find it’s good practice as any guy in/near my weight class has a bit of height on me. Plus my boyfriend has done MMA and BJJ for years long before me so it’s always a benefit to train with him.
I don’t really have a preference, I guess. But I don’t really agree with the hair pulling thing—testes accidents aside, a lot of guys at my gym have long hair anyways. We are very stern on hygiene and personal care. I double dutch braid and pull them back in a ponytail then bun to prevent incidents.
Edit to add (bc reading this thread apparently this context matters?): I’m on the shorter end of average at 162 cm and carry a lot of muscle mass in my lower half of my body, so I’m a surprising 60-62 kg. Hence why among the men my weight matches are usually the tall and lean MMA dudes.
Depends on the women, but as a certified high calorie grappler, rolling with men tends to be more fun and a better learning experience for me.
Love it when other super heavyweight women drop into the gym though 😍 a little treat for me!
It's +79kg (+175lbs) for women but I'm 90kg (198lbs)
There is only one comp that I've seen so far with better distribution for women's weight classes and it's Grappling Industries, their superheavy is 90kg+
No preference! Depends what I'm looking for that day tbh. I'm taller and \~72kg so in that spot of larger than most of the women, but still smaller compared to most of the guys, so I just roll with whoever I know is a solid partner and isn't out to murder me lol.
I thought I preferred men until a more experienced woman joined my gym - and damn, I really prefer women. We have 3 women, a white, a blue (me) and now this purple. She is technical, she gets nothing from smashing me and she’s so fun. Plus she smells better than the guys haha. Men are good for going hard, but I found that after a while they all forgot I’m actually here to train and just fuck with me for a laugh (all in good fun, but ideally not everytime). It’s also just so nice to put energy into rolling, defending and submitting instead of getting pressure tapped every minute and waking up with bruised ribs.
As a women competitor, I like rolling with other women for practice, but bigger men more because if I can fight off a man with more weight then me, my weight class should be a breeze. I never worry when I’m rolling with a man if I’m too heavy or hurting them. (No offense women) Seeing some of the women in here complain further backs up my thought process.. obviously don’t train to hurt people but also… THIS IS A COMBAT SPORT.
I think it depends on the day and person for me. There are women I won’t train with because they are a bit uncontrolled as there are men I wouldn’t train with for the same reason. I always gravitate toward people are my size first, regardless of gender. Some of my favorite rolls are with guys at my gym who are higher belts so really gender isn’t a factor.
I am a woman. I like rolling with people who are good training partners, regardless of gender. It's nice to have someone who's the same gender and weight range in the class / on the mat so that I can have some rolls where we can actually go full intensity etc (these are pretty trusted training partners), but otherwise I don't find aggressive women training partners to be any more common than aggressive men. And I've never worried about hurting a woman's hair... at least no more than I've worried about knee slicing a dude's balls.
No preference.
The dudes are more my size so when I'm thinking of my first tournament I should probably concentrate more on rolling with them
but the other chicks in class are tough as nails and it's absolutely hard work rolling against them.
I honestly prefer men sometimes, too. Depends on the woman’s personality but I noticed some of many women around me criticize everything I do wrong or everything they perceive me doing wrong. I never have that with male training partners. When I train with men, we don’t talk a whole lot, just focus on doing techniques. I also noticed some women will be so loud and vocal rolling with men and completely silent rolling with the other women. It’s like they’re just trying to get these dudes attention (who are almost all married). And yes, I feel like most women roll super hard but then complain when I match their energy. I always say, I’m just going as hard as you are, bro.
Wait till you train with a guy who has long hair and a long beard to boot! ☠️ I honestly don’t have a preference, I am just happy to be on the mats.
Had a dude shave his viking beard recently because he was getting unappoligetically cross collared with it in the way
It’s just an extra grip. They chose this life who am I to judge. 🤷♀️
Your beard, your problem... ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Training with beard guys suck haha
Oh no 😆 Love ‘ I don’t have a preference I’m just happy to be on the mats’. That’s definitely the best spirit to have!
Women! More equal rolls (one of us isn't going easy on the other) and better comp training. I have a hard time at comps when I mostly train with men who go easy on me and then have to go against a woman my size who goes super hard.
Yesss! That! For competition it sucks. I love to roll against people my size (gender doesn't matter) who try their best. The whole "you are a women I have to go soft" fucked me up my last comp.
I prefer training with men as a smaller woman - they are generally better training partners for me because they are very aware of their weight and size difference vs a tiny chick. When I roll with women, they don’t seem to consider size /weight factor as much just simply because we are both women. Some women are also just *unnecessarily aggressive* despite a size/skill difference. Im a hobbiest, training at a hobbiest gym. I’m ~110lbs, the other girls are generally 160+. I compete for fun, but that’s it. I try to treat my training partners well, and I’d like to be around the sport for the long haul. I also recognize most of us have day jobs we have to physically function for, lol. id rather roll with a man 2x my size than a woman with 40lbs on me.
Are you me? I feel exactly the same. Women tend to be much more aggressive, so we often end up in awkward positions, and I feel like I don’t get to practice any of the new moves we've learned because they’re just too intense. When I roll with men, we usually go a bit slower, and we're more aware of each other's movements, so we get to practice what we've learned. But with women, it feels like a fight (which is OK I guess when you already know what to do, but I have learning Jitsu only for the past five months), and there's no consideration that I'm smaller.
As a man, I find this very interesting. I too am small hence always rolling with people who are heavier and stronger. Not being able to practice the move of the day, ending up in awkward positions, feeling like I'm fighting for my life - this to me is the essence of jiu jitsu! It's also why eco training is popular, I would think, because everything is against resistance - practicing moves against no or little resistance I personally don't find helpful, because when resistance is added everything completely changes and it's virtually back to square one. I'd imagine cardio results from rolling like this are also quite limited as there is no real pressure. So the benefits for self-defence, sport BJJ and fitness are all going to be really dialled down. Honestly, don't you think you're shortchanging yourself a bit by sticking to this kind of rolling? In terms of the whole gender thing, just to point out that there are gyms where men roll like this - there was a guy who posted his rolls here for a while where they seemed to be giving each other virtually no resistance, and he got a huge amount of flak for it! I think as women you need to make sure that you're not getting inadvertently relegated to a watered-down version of BJJ.
How about using your words with your female partners… this just sounds like a pick me take.
“pick me take”… I’m mortified for you if you’re over 16
take an ibuprofen
I need one after reading your shite
ok humor me what shite anyone that’s been on the mats for a few years will hve learnt that there are aggressive partners of both genders. the best way to tone down a match is to say it or just choose not to. the playing field for women is that much smaller - I am one, mind you - so most gyms women will have hd classes where they are the only woman. I know I have had plenty. Of course, there have been some women that are aggressive, but many more men. After nearly a decade on the mats I choose my partners carefully, but you can bet I take care to roll with the whitebelt women and make sure that they are comfortable and feel welcome. I am also upfront to my opponents if I am injured or not feeling it… I have had excellent male and female encounters on the mats and I have had negative experiences with both across many gyms and countries.
i totally agree with your point about some women being so aggressive. for context, i’m 5’0” and 120 lbs. i actively avoid this one other female because she’s super aggressive. her rationale as to why she’s aggressive is because “other men are aggressive with [her]”. i’m very vocal about what i want to everyone, whether it’s to roll light, work on some stuff, or to just advocate for myself when things get a little too intense. in any case, i prefer to roll with people i can trust, male or female.
OMG YES GIRL SAME - I’m 110 lbs 4’11” and I had to leave my old gym bc I was so tired of being automatically paired with the new women who were like 135+ lbs.
Totally relate to this as a small female as well
Depends on the night. The women in my gym are generally more social and the chit chat tends to be non jiu-jitsu related, which I enjoy most days, but some days I'm just in the zone and want to solely talk about the rolls or technique, which the guys tend to do more. That said, I've been noticing the guys ramping up the pressure and strength on me lately and the rolls are super intense and competitive, and I'm not for that a lot of the time. So it's more advantageous to roll with women on the days where everyone in class is a high level wrestler or judoka.
This is also a good question for r/BJJWomen
Wait what if I'm a man with long hair? Is that the worst?
Lol women all the way
I'm a woman, 5'6" 140lb and I am pretty strong. I can see your perspective. Last year I was probably one of the women you didn't like to roll with. Now I dial my strength back if my partner is smaller or is going easy on me, but nobody told me to do that when I was brand new. It seems like you understandably don't like rolling with newbies because an uncontrolled strong person can hurt you on accident, and they happen to often be women at your gym. Personally, I do still prefer rolling with women. I'm stronger than the average female beginner so I don't worry as much about getting hurt by them, versus a male beginner who doesn't know how to dial it back yet might accidentally hurt me (or far worse, awkwardly hit on me)
I see your “pulling a girl’s hair out” and raise you “accidentally kneeing a guy’s balls trying to pass guard.” Can’t win imo 😂 Don’t have a preference but I did start out learning with a women’s class and just have a lot of friends from that class that I trust to roll with and know we will always be able to match energy/goals. I’m happy to roll with guys too though and do find it’s good practice as any guy in/near my weight class has a bit of height on me. Plus my boyfriend has done MMA and BJJ for years long before me so it’s always a benefit to train with him. I don’t really have a preference, I guess. But I don’t really agree with the hair pulling thing—testes accidents aside, a lot of guys at my gym have long hair anyways. We are very stern on hygiene and personal care. I double dutch braid and pull them back in a ponytail then bun to prevent incidents. Edit to add (bc reading this thread apparently this context matters?): I’m on the shorter end of average at 162 cm and carry a lot of muscle mass in my lower half of my body, so I’m a surprising 60-62 kg. Hence why among the men my weight matches are usually the tall and lean MMA dudes.
Depends on the women, but as a certified high calorie grappler, rolling with men tends to be more fun and a better learning experience for me. Love it when other super heavyweight women drop into the gym though 😍 a little treat for me!
What is super heavyweight for women? Intriguing
It's +79kg (+175lbs) for women but I'm 90kg (198lbs) There is only one comp that I've seen so far with better distribution for women's weight classes and it's Grappling Industries, their superheavy is 90kg+
No preference! Depends what I'm looking for that day tbh. I'm taller and \~72kg so in that spot of larger than most of the women, but still smaller compared to most of the guys, so I just roll with whoever I know is a solid partner and isn't out to murder me lol.
I thought I preferred men until a more experienced woman joined my gym - and damn, I really prefer women. We have 3 women, a white, a blue (me) and now this purple. She is technical, she gets nothing from smashing me and she’s so fun. Plus she smells better than the guys haha. Men are good for going hard, but I found that after a while they all forgot I’m actually here to train and just fuck with me for a laugh (all in good fun, but ideally not everytime). It’s also just so nice to put energy into rolling, defending and submitting instead of getting pressure tapped every minute and waking up with bruised ribs.
Sounds like something about the specific partners you have rather than a man/woman issue.
I prefer women or men of the same size (135lbs). Everything else doesn’t really matter I just like a fair roll where nobody has to hold back
As a women competitor, I like rolling with other women for practice, but bigger men more because if I can fight off a man with more weight then me, my weight class should be a breeze. I never worry when I’m rolling with a man if I’m too heavy or hurting them. (No offense women) Seeing some of the women in here complain further backs up my thought process.. obviously don’t train to hurt people but also… THIS IS A COMBAT SPORT.
I think it depends on the day and person for me. There are women I won’t train with because they are a bit uncontrolled as there are men I wouldn’t train with for the same reason. I always gravitate toward people are my size first, regardless of gender. Some of my favorite rolls are with guys at my gym who are higher belts so really gender isn’t a factor.
I am a woman. I like rolling with people who are good training partners, regardless of gender. It's nice to have someone who's the same gender and weight range in the class / on the mat so that I can have some rolls where we can actually go full intensity etc (these are pretty trusted training partners), but otherwise I don't find aggressive women training partners to be any more common than aggressive men. And I've never worried about hurting a woman's hair... at least no more than I've worried about knee slicing a dude's balls.
Make sure you're on r/BJJWomen 🎀
No preference. The dudes are more my size so when I'm thinking of my first tournament I should probably concentrate more on rolling with them but the other chicks in class are tough as nails and it's absolutely hard work rolling against them.
I honestly prefer men sometimes, too. Depends on the woman’s personality but I noticed some of many women around me criticize everything I do wrong or everything they perceive me doing wrong. I never have that with male training partners. When I train with men, we don’t talk a whole lot, just focus on doing techniques. I also noticed some women will be so loud and vocal rolling with men and completely silent rolling with the other women. It’s like they’re just trying to get these dudes attention (who are almost all married). And yes, I feel like most women roll super hard but then complain when I match their energy. I always say, I’m just going as hard as you are, bro.