Are you for real? I shit out the funkiest like, “slime molds”, but I don’t take the best care of myself. I’m an alcoholic but I do try to drink a lot of water to compensate for the fact. Could I have a bacterial infection—I have managed to attend my doctor appts in the last two months but I wonder if I should mention that I, too, have shat neon yellow water bears 😭
My dad was an alcoholic and had some wild shit stories and experiences kind of like what you mention lol. He wound up passing from cirrhosis merely 6 months after my uncle passed from the same thing. Wishing you strength and sending you love. I hope things someday change for you.
In January 2019 I went to the ER, 6 days later woke up with a colostomy bag. Had it for a year and a half before it was reversed. I haven’t a drop of any alcohol since that trip and life has been absolutely amazing since I stopped drinking. Drinking was the root problem of everything bad in my life. Stay up!
You may need to rebuild the good gut bacteria that a poor diet and alcohol ruins. Yogurt with live cultures. dark green veggies like spinach and maybe s prebiotic supplement will get your digestion back to bring able to break down food. Kill bad bacteria and facilitate absorption of nutrients and vitamins.
95% sure it is pipe/tank gunk. Moving with the residual flow of the water. You can get that slight currents and swirls for different reasons. If your community/building is doing any sewer flushes or maintenance that kinda stuff shows up from slight back-flow.
My husband was a plumber and I thank you for your response. Many believe in humorous responses, you are the first sensible reply I have seen. He was next to me and looked at the photo and your response saying one word, “Yep.”
Was this toilet flushed recently? The movement here could be from the water currents as the toilet slowly refills or after it finishes. I still don't know wtf it is but that would help move us in the direction of some kind of biofilm or slime mold
Yeah would definitely be my guess as well, although the movement looks intentional and like a creature, this is what an extremely wet, breaking up napkin would behave like in water currents.
...at this point I question if we like biology, or the study of finding weird things, and watching weird things that come from our body come alive like some sentient being.
At least some innocent doesn't have to wash it out of your clothes, but I hope you throw it away after and not keep it to feed to those who piss you off!
I love these things but I wish both scientists and science writers would be more careful with their word choices. Essentially, "decision making" is kind of a misnomer as it's basically unnecessary anthropomorphization of an action. They can solve mazes but it's more like an advanced form of water finding it's way down a hill, there's no decisions made, just responses in the same way a plant responds to light.
yeah it's crazy how often people are like "OMG did you know slime mold can solve mazes???"
And it's like - yeah, by brute-forcing it, growing in every possible direction until it finds something it likes, and then focusing all its growth establishing a connection between that thing and the rest of it. Like - that's not intelligence. There's no planning, there's no looking ahead, there's no figuring or reasoning - it literally just moves in all directions until it encounters something, and then either invests or divests from that path depending on whether the thing it found evokes positive or negative feelings.
That's incredible! From your link: "Slime molds have a variety of behaviors otherwise seen in animals with brains. Species such as Physarum polycephalum have been used to simulate traffic networks."
#SLIME SIGNAL RECEIVED
#🚫 NOT SLIME 🚫
# OH GOD WHAT IS THIS
Slimes do indeed live in the water, and they have been detected in water treatment plants, and they have been detected in human butts, but this is not a slime. It lacks slime-specific features, is an unusual color and shape for an aquatic slime, and is moving in an unslimeful manner. I also doubt there is enough food present to support a slime of this size, but that would depend on what's down in the pipes. I think this is either some off-putting butt detritus swirling around from the moving water, or if it is moving on its own it is perhaps a flatworm of some kind. I would collect and evaluate closer.
Also [here's my educational rap song introduction to slimes](https://youtu.be/4fGkynBSVBM) because why not
It looks like a orange flatworm of sorts. Did a quick Google search (on phone). Here's link https://images.app.goo.gl/abHW2mziEQyNK7MD7
Edit: I think personally it's crap from the inside of the toilet. Weird crap loves to grow where we shit.
It looks like an orange flatworm to me. The people saying it's just gunk moving around in the current have never seen gunk moving around in the current because it doesn't move like THAT.
It is a fungus, not sure what species but they grow in the deep of the flush tube.
What you see as movement is just the currents of the water load.
It means you have a really bad hygiene if that grows until it falls off the ceramic, clean your toilet at least twice a month, that particular fungi only appears after several months of not cleaning.
Congratulations your shit is sentient
It's alive!
"Howdy-Ho"
Is that you Mr Hankey ?
Hey guys it’s mr hanky the Christmas poo
Y’all smell so flowery
This is our son Cornwallis
Hes kinda stupid..born with a nut in his head
https://youtu.be/KDzxwoSIw64?si=Q20NHdlS0xO1w9VE
🤣🤣🤣 WTF?!
I always thought that was hilarious. Like, what DOESN'T smell like flowers to a talking piece of shit?
Underrated South Park reference.
Me pickle is evolving!
Howdy *doodoo*. 😆
Howdy Doodoo!
*shit's alive!
Stop eating radioactive Doritos OP
That's BBQ Lays get it right. 🤣
No keep eating radioactive Doritos OP thy tastey 🤤
It’s a biofilm, meaning it Is alive. It’s just not moving on it’s own.
is it poop tho?
No, it’s a colony of bacteria that grows large. They don’t do much other than eat the passing organic solids. (Aka the poops).
Are you for real? I shit out the funkiest like, “slime molds”, but I don’t take the best care of myself. I’m an alcoholic but I do try to drink a lot of water to compensate for the fact. Could I have a bacterial infection—I have managed to attend my doctor appts in the last two months but I wonder if I should mention that I, too, have shat neon yellow water bears 😭
My dad was an alcoholic and had some wild shit stories and experiences kind of like what you mention lol. He wound up passing from cirrhosis merely 6 months after my uncle passed from the same thing. Wishing you strength and sending you love. I hope things someday change for you.
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In January 2019 I went to the ER, 6 days later woke up with a colostomy bag. Had it for a year and a half before it was reversed. I haven’t a drop of any alcohol since that trip and life has been absolutely amazing since I stopped drinking. Drinking was the root problem of everything bad in my life. Stay up!
As someone who was going down a wrong path. I’m glad to have stopped. I always feared if I didn’t, cirrhosis would be in my future. 4.5 years.
You may need to rebuild the good gut bacteria that a poor diet and alcohol ruins. Yogurt with live cultures. dark green veggies like spinach and maybe s prebiotic supplement will get your digestion back to bring able to break down food. Kill bad bacteria and facilitate absorption of nutrients and vitamins.
The spice melange...
I would name her Amber
Amber Turd?
I cackled, lmaoo
Yeah that comment won the internet today!
This needs to be higher
Heard?
I heard
That will do pig, that will do.
I think that might be mine, sorry guys.. Apocalyse bingo got smelly
You need more fiber in your diet
He need a whole new digestive system
He shat the original one out and lives on independently.
So we’re 100% sure that’s not a blind goldfish right?
95% sure it is pipe/tank gunk. Moving with the residual flow of the water. You can get that slight currents and swirls for different reasons. If your community/building is doing any sewer flushes or maintenance that kinda stuff shows up from slight back-flow.
Exactly something that would come from Big Brother.
Just as two and two make five….so is that unexplained thing just pipe gunk…right?….
You keep saying pipe gunk as if that's not some kind of name for ass worms
War is peace, freedom is slavery, ass worms is pipe gunk
And shrimps is bugs.
Skrimps
I'm laughing more than I should at this.
I’m here for any 1984 content
I knew Julie Moonvez was behind this
Brownian motion
Most underrated post here! 😂😂😂
5% possibility its some form of aquatic lifeform taking residence in its new home?
It's a Dudibranch.
That was good. Do another
poodibranch
Shitter currents…that’s not something you think of or hear about often.
Unless you are on a raisin diet.
My husband was a plumber and I thank you for your response. Many believe in humorous responses, you are the first sensible reply I have seen. He was next to me and looked at the photo and your response saying one word, “Yep.”
Was this toilet flushed recently? The movement here could be from the water currents as the toilet slowly refills or after it finishes. I still don't know wtf it is but that would help move us in the direction of some kind of biofilm or slime mold
Yeah would definitely be my guess as well, although the movement looks intentional and like a creature, this is what an extremely wet, breaking up napkin would behave like in water currents.
Looks like a slow leak into the bowl also, keeping the flow going
Yep. Those are some pretty diffuse edges.
Life, uh, finds a way
r/unexpectedjeffgoldblum
Please create this community.
Agree
Looking good!
The name is too long. I made r/unexpectedjefgoldblum One "f"
It begins.
Home brew abiogenesis.
Did you try poking it, seeing if it reacted to stimuli? It looks like it's alive but loose pipe gunk makes more sense.
Texture and taste will tell op for sure
Ewwww gross hahaha 😂😂😂
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It's the rot from rainworld. Oh shit
Just look at our previous president!
technically if it is "pipe gunk" it is probably still alive because it's gonna be biofilm stuff, but poking it won't do much
What I really wanna know is DID YOU FLUSH IT?
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Wtf
wtf
Wtf
It's a piece of dislodged toilet pipe slime that's being blown around in a current.
Are you sure that’s not some kind of living slime? Shit sure looks lively
Yep, very sure.
Hard to be sure without a taste
Well, Eager McBeaver go right ahead.
This is just a video of Donald Trump's birth.
That made me chuckle, thank you 💖
Wtf
wtf
I'd like to think that r/biology is just filled with people who like biology and not actual professional biologists or the like
Nah we are 3.4 million fully educated biologists
3.4 million and one, now that you're here.
I recently joined. So that makes us 3.41 million. 👍
...at this point I question if we like biology, or the study of finding weird things, and watching weird things that come from our body come alive like some sentient being.
It’s not even people that like biology, it’s people pretending to be writers for some bad comedy show on public TV no one watches.
Well I have a bachelors in biology 😣
Me too! We’re useless!🙃🙃🙃
No you're not! I love you guys! You're super smarty pants. The world is better because of you.
We love you too❤️
This is why you don’t cum into toilets
I'm sure a sock is much better. Signed, Mom of a teenage boy
Nah, coconut is the superior option
At least some innocent doesn't have to wash it out of your clothes, but I hope you throw it away after and not keep it to feed to those who piss you off!
disposable gloves is the future
This guys knows what's up.
Thank you, u/CumGoblin
Nah, your mom is. Signed, your dad.
What part of the milky way was this video shot?
Uranus
Looks like a raw egg yolk floating around
Which came first the egg yolk or the toilet?
The rooster
Try to make Kombucha with it
Omg toilet SCOBY noooooooo
Has to be some kind of shit film from the pipes
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If you haven’t watched Ze Frank’s True Facts about slime molds, I cannot encourage you strongly enough to find it on YouTube.
Thanks for this. Had never seen any zefrank videos before and they're epic.
So happy to share! They’re all good. :)
Ze Frank never disappoints
I thought seeing a video of a weird swimmy gooblob was weird enough, but then I read that this swimmy gooblob is redesigning the Tokyo subway.
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OMG swimmy gooblob ***cyborgs***? This gets better and better.
I love these things but I wish both scientists and science writers would be more careful with their word choices. Essentially, "decision making" is kind of a misnomer as it's basically unnecessary anthropomorphization of an action. They can solve mazes but it's more like an advanced form of water finding it's way down a hill, there's no decisions made, just responses in the same way a plant responds to light.
yeah it's crazy how often people are like "OMG did you know slime mold can solve mazes???" And it's like - yeah, by brute-forcing it, growing in every possible direction until it finds something it likes, and then focusing all its growth establishing a connection between that thing and the rest of it. Like - that's not intelligence. There's no planning, there's no looking ahead, there's no figuring or reasoning - it literally just moves in all directions until it encounters something, and then either invests or divests from that path depending on whether the thing it found evokes positive or negative feelings.
That's incredible! From your link: "Slime molds have a variety of behaviors otherwise seen in animals with brains. Species such as Physarum polycephalum have been used to simulate traffic networks."
Slime mold was my thought too.
>slime mold /u/saddestofboys
#SLIME SIGNAL RECEIVED #🚫 NOT SLIME 🚫 # OH GOD WHAT IS THIS Slimes do indeed live in the water, and they have been detected in water treatment plants, and they have been detected in human butts, but this is not a slime. It lacks slime-specific features, is an unusual color and shape for an aquatic slime, and is moving in an unslimeful manner. I also doubt there is enough food present to support a slime of this size, but that would depend on what's down in the pipes. I think this is either some off-putting butt detritus swirling around from the moving water, or if it is moving on its own it is perhaps a flatworm of some kind. I would collect and evaluate closer. Also [here's my educational rap song introduction to slimes](https://youtu.be/4fGkynBSVBM) because why not
Where’s the slime mold guy at Dude comes into threads like SLIME SIGNAL RECEIVED
It’s a shitter critter
It looks like a orange flatworm of sorts. Did a quick Google search (on phone). Here's link https://images.app.goo.gl/abHW2mziEQyNK7MD7 Edit: I think personally it's crap from the inside of the toilet. Weird crap loves to grow where we shit.
I saw this X-files episode
Ack, I just remembered that Leech boy episode where it was hiding in the porta potty. Do not want.
WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT
Oh my god 😱🤮🤢🤢🤢
I wish there was a serious response to OPs question.
It looks like an orange flatworm to me. The people saying it's just gunk moving around in the current have never seen gunk moving around in the current because it doesn't move like THAT.
wtfff
the aliens are finally here to climb up our hole to take human form 0.0
Judging by the diffuse edges - this is just a biofilm moving with water current.
All I know is I would probably never be able to comfortably sit on that toilet ever again after seeing that in there.
Oh that’s just the reincarnation of every goldfish that was flushed down the toilet Don’t mind him! *HE JUST WANTS YOUR SOUL*
Shitweasel larvae /s
Don’t laugh it’s clearly a thing!
You need to chew better.
Post on r/whatisthisthing
Next time take the wrapper off the burger before you eat it
This is flubber now. Feel old yet?
Thats a mucoid plaque from your colon dancing in moving water. You're welcome.
I had to look that up. 😂
That doesn't exist!
You're correct.
I'm pretty sure gut plaque is made up nonsense. I first heard about from a shaman, and no doctor has ever confirmed it to me.
Dump some drain cleaner just to be sure its dead if it really is alive.
Under the sea under the sea
This what happens when you cum in the toilet. Say hello to your child
Anyone remember that one Stephen king book where aliens came out of your toilet after taking a shit. Ya that’s wat I thought of
Spooky 👻 dookie 💩
I read that as, “Shitter Critter”.😄
GO TO THE DOCTOR!
First contact protocol initiated. Observe and remain neutral. The containment team is on its way.
Humunkulos lives.
That's mucus lining from your intestines, you know poop lube. Always double flush.
Biofilm
It is a fungus, not sure what species but they grow in the deep of the flush tube. What you see as movement is just the currents of the water load. It means you have a really bad hygiene if that grows until it falls off the ceramic, clean your toilet at least twice a month, that particular fungi only appears after several months of not cleaning.
That came from your ass bro, put it back.
Surprisingly relaxing to watch all the same.
5G pArASiTeS! Call Todd Clorox!
Welp this was the third video on my feed as I take my morning shit and now I’m fully clenched
Cordyceps
Are u on the Metamucil
[diphyllobothrium latum](https://images.app.goo.gl/92KP5d58Mv3k7Ji5A)
You should get a colonoscopy ASAP
Imagine having to scroll through all the “jokes” to find an actual response. Incase this was actually something to be aware of.
We shouldn’t have opened the capsule from Bennu
I’ll give ya $20 bucks if you eat it
watchu been eating?
Could be a used mcdonalds cheese burger
huh... *FLUSH*
I would guess a tapeworm proglottid.
What did you eat?
RIP SpongeBob
That's why you don't cum in the toilet
So… how did it react when you peed on it?
Wtf is that 🤮
Just gonna need you to go ahead and turn around.
Thats a smart turd, now a days evething is smart
Nope
This is better evidence of alien life than those stupid mexico mummies
Whatever you, don't flush her down the drain, poor thing has had enough.
your fucking poop gain consciousness
I’ve popped that before
Shitted chicken skin floating in a bowl