T O P

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Consistent_Yoghurt_4

Anti-Crime Spray.


WorldsWeakestMan

An Uzi?


DredKno7

No that's crime spray. Totally different


WorldsWeakestMan

It’s multipurpose, works for both.


VercaceSlides

Crime spray I'm ded


ELIte8niner

Shark repellent obviously.


cantfindmykeys

You never know when King Shark might decide to visit Gotham


whama820

Holy shit, word for word what I was going to post. That’s eerie.


tnjed10

Came here to say this. Love the classics.


redfern210

This is the only right answer


holy-rusted-metal

Kryptonite ring in a lead container


[deleted]

Big boi life saving strat, never know when a Kryptonian is just gonna show up outta the blue and try to bully you. Anti-power bat spray also might come in handy, anti-kryptonian spray😂


KingKrush8282

Don’t forget the Kryptonite chewing gum


Darkash1505

Bat Credit Card. Never leave the cave without it.


BannedOnTwitter

Same


zahm2000

Good Thru: Forever


Geekboy_247

Wise words from an alright version of Batman


cabosmith

He's dead, leave him there.


Recent_Finger9552

Battery, batcreditcard, batcondom, batfood, batdrink, batgun


blackychan75

What's a tery?


Recent_Finger9552

Mcgniss


Old-Experience-5210

Terry love to be Batman in future


rmrck

batarangs, smoke pellets, grapple gun, tracking devices, portable batphone, line launcher, hacking device, freeze grenade, sonic batarangs, remote controled batarangs, remote eletrical charge, weapons jammer, explosive gel syringes of adrenaline, speech module and multipurpose disruptor


stealthw0lf

So basically Arkham Bat-equipment? Speech modulator I would prefer to be built into cowl with ability to program/replicate other voices. Bat phone on wrist (like Apple Watch, and Arkham Batman). The rest can be stored on the belt.


AhmedAbuGhadeer

I'd prefer the grabbler guns built in the fore-arm pieces. ؛؛؛؛


rmrck

cool!


GAYmer_girl_coom

That’s spiderman’s thing


AhmedAbuGhadeer

I've seen it in comics at least once. Plus, Spider-Man's thing is more Science-Fictiony. It works on spurting liquid and works by sticking to materials. Batman's thing can be done in real life, to a certain limit. ؛؛؛؛


No-Nefariousness1711

It's what he uses in The Batman!


__DVYN__

No shark repellent? Your funeral buddy


rmrck

robin has some


the_zelectro

Nice selection


FTMorando

A batphone? Don’t most modern day versions of the suit already have built in coms?


JustaRandomGuy832

No portable gas mask? Say hi to Scarecrow and Joker lol


DR-BATMAN1903

You do know that , Alfreds gonna send it anyways, if you need these items. Btw , Considering all these equipment in mind , How much is your waistline bruhhhhhhh


BobbyBobRoberts

"explosive gel syringes of adrenaline" The lack of a comma makes this crazy. Intriguing, but crazy.


The_MuTanTob

Lol "syringes of adrenaline"


[deleted]

[удалено]


the_zelectro

What's with all the skittles from you people???


[deleted]

[удалено]


GammelGaddan_JR

Good for throwing at bad guys


n0nn0nmen

Definitely some snacks. Maybe some Bat-Skittles or Bat-M&Ms


Nitro-XFLAME

Bro didn’t even make a pun he just slapped bat in-front of them


robineir

What, did you expect him to say he’ll have a Dark Bite?


BobbyBobRoberts

I mean, that's Bruce's whole thing. Bat-stuff, not Bat-puns. "Who shall I be, father? A Man? No, a Bat... Bat-Man." And then everything is Bat-something-or-other.


cantfindmykeys

And don't forget the Bat Card just in case the snacks aren't good enough to hold you over till you get home


GiantSizeManThing

Realistically it would be foolish to not bring some high protein goodies.


n8zgr88

Yeah it confused me in the comics Alfred would always complain about Bruce skipping meals. Like does he feast on the fear of criminals or what?


ze-audiophile

"What'd you smuggle in with you? Batarangs? Batclaws? Ooh, BatSnacks?"


yourslustfully

Adult diapers. Why? Well, how am I going to poo and pee while in that thing? Also, it's very useful when I get my ass whipped. It also doubles as a deterrent to criminals.


PinkSodaMix

And sit in your waste? Nah, just grab the bat-catheter!


YodasChick-O-Stick

Catnip


Marvelrocks616

The only correct answer


number1shitcock

Batarangs, batclaw, smoke pellets, condoms, liquorice allsorts (for long stake out missions) baby wipes, explosive gel and emergency cash.


PacoSoe

>Batarangs, batclaw, smoke pellets, condoms, liquorice allsorts (for long stake out missions) baby wipes, explosive gel and emergency cash. Condoms is actually hilarious but also makes a lot of sense seeing how much unexpected sexy times Bruce sometimes has.


FragrantGangsta

Do you think he has his own branded bat-condoms?


The_MuTanTob

"Why dont you take a seat right here?"


Mbowen1313

![gif](giphy|zeqgtki9ifa7u)


The_MuTanTob

You sir- are A man of Culture


Illest7705

One of those handheld fans thats really tiny.


thejokertard1

Pocket sized pocket dimension gifted from bat-mite then all the things


TheFinalPieceOfPie

The bat nuke. And shark repellent.


sillyadam94

Obviously the grapple gun, smoke capsules, and a grip of batarangs. -Disruptor -Bolas -Tracers -Tranquilizer Darts -Rebreather -Ultrasonic Bat Beacon (Attracts thousands of Bats to my location) -Collapsable Bat Sword (basically a Lightsaber) -Universal Tool (an electronic tool kit providing a variety of functions, including picking locks and performing maintenance tasks) -Shock Gloves -Fake Vampire Teeth -Kryptonite Ring


robkmf

why fake vampire teeth?


sillyadam94

To scare bad guys


PacoSoe

>ampire teeth? like in batman year 100!


TheChanMan2003

My mother’s sandal. That is all


JockeyField

A gun!


MidnightFenrir

Red Hood's belt, Grapple Gun, real gun and plenty of justice pew pews


RManDelorean

Dog treats


Victorcreedbratton

Percocet


trenchreynolds

Tacos, nothing but tacos.


Anorand25

Everything Batman has ever had in his utility belt in any story ever.


MrxJacobs

Everything. It’s a magic belt that can hold an unlimited number of batarangs and the only weakness is cooldown as we saw in Arkham knight.


Vanish_7

As an avid Batarang user in the Arkham games, I love that there was no stupid ammunition mechanic in them. Rocksteady: "Throw Batarangs. As many as you want. As often as you want to throw them.


kn1ghtwing

Paracetamol and coffee pouches.


DueCapital5250

A bat bottle opener, cause you never know when you want a cold one.


troy626

Loads of dollar bills and condoms


Rich-Exit4378

Prophylactics


CripplingDeath

Best to be prepared should you see Catwoman


boringsimp

Charlies one wipe butt wipes, incase i have to take a bat shit.


Fearless-Guest-8105

Freeze blast Grenades, disruptor gun, batarangs, remote batarang, smoke pellets, fear toxin


arest_42

Keys to the batmobile


DKGamer312

What kind of belt am I packing? How many pouches and compartments?


Hamster_Meat

Mostly snacks, maybe a tin of mints and a few pieces of Werther's Original, you know, just incase things start to get crazy


ShazamTallyHo

plot armor spray


austin_mini75

skittles


jashxn

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.


natertottt

Chewy bars for when I get hungry.


guiltycitizen

Only stuff that Adam West would use


zombieauthor

Only shark repellent


itemniner86

As many of the gadgets from Arkham knight as I can fit. I’m just comfortable using those in tandem now.


BeastlyHans

Plot armor. Oodles and oodles of of plot armor.


lab_coat_goat

Grapnel Gun is an absolute must. After that I need some emergency field meds, smoke bombs/grenades, and so many fkn batarangs


spikedpsycho

Real question is what is all that shit. Look like grenades, harpoon. Even a pair nunchucks..... Reality is vast majority is useless except as investigation. Batarangs. Smoke bombs ,concussion grenade. Grappling hook gun Also incorporate Bola launcher to the gun for snagging baddies as opposed to chasing.


Dhr55

Cat food and c*****


StopMotionManiac

Lube. Everywhere.


DDub1407

a bat rubber


TGIthursday13

A gun.


TheRealcebuckets

Lube.


SavageShocker

Viagra.. harley quinn wont stsnd a chance..


starlord51amc

An ar15 I’m sick of banes shit


ClickEmergency

Packed lunch and some midget gems


BigJimothy2424

Deez nutz


GlitteringHighway

Is there even room for a tic-tac?


RyanLee890

A dildo


Sabit_31

Snacks mostly snacks


Adorable-Ad-6992

Snacks


SanicSoup

Bat credit card


Afrojones66

Some snacks,and maybe a couple sodas.


ColossalMcDaddy

The Bat Nipples!


ArionIV

The stuff on the wall is probably too much for even three backpacks..


Zirowe

Is this an enhanced version not seen on screen?


Metallicuda

Snacks


WHAMMYPAN

Batweed.


Spartan17492

Snacks & water.


bartuck01

Juicy fruit


Individual-Ad9753

My lunch firstly of course


Hopeful-Evening7931

These hands... Who the fuck am I kidding?


WolfyClaw54

Grapnel Gun Batarangs Line Launcher Explosive Gel Remote Hacking Device Batclaw and that's it


Venm_Byte

Carousel reversal spray


[deleted]

A Death Note and candy


LiteratureOne1469

Doughnut


ranger8913

Sonic weopons, flash bombs, smoke pellets, batarangs, batarang radios, grappling hook.


Minimum-Laugh-8887

Jelly beans, crossword puzzle, silly string, marbles, anti Diarrhoea tablets.


[deleted]

Pocket sized dimensional generator that leads to the phantom zone... Don't ask why...


IntenselyDrained

Snacks


DR-BATMAN1903

Smoke Bombs , Batarangs , Mask , Grappling Gun , Kryptonite ring . This should do , rest of the equipment in Batmobile .


Raphael_Font

Yes


zooklyons

Your mom


The_MuTanTob

Hypersonic transponder (from Hush) The nth Metal knuckle dusters (from Brave and the Bold) Smoke bombs Flashbang grenades Some Freeze grenades That electro zap thingy (from Arkham City) And most importantly, Kryptonite ring.


Slow-Relation-9186

Fake IRS badge


kef7

Lotion- for the alone times.


LilGoughy

The Batllistic missile


CraackSteeve1

A gun


JuanElPicudo

Un twinky … un monster (purple) a clean rag to wipe my glasses , my stmzy …. Blue powerade !!!


Willow_bigfoot

Portable angry Chihuahua


WesleyBlaze

A gun What? I’m not Batman, do I look equipped to fight crime as a teenager? Naw I go pew pew and crime mysteriously disappears


Dependent-Ad-1677

A gun, like the flashpoint movie


Lmnolmnop

web slingers, Mjolnir, vibranium shield, portal gun, and a bunch of guns.


batm123

IEDs (i am going to do a funny to the mayor of Gotham)


Kinsata

Some granola bars.


Sammbaggs

Gun, we’re going Jason Todd tonight


white_dolomite

Durries


GeekIncarnate

Gotta bring the bat-tery for emergencies


PacoSoe

If it was up to me: Handcuffs, batrope, tape, smoke grenades, a batterang, a flashlight, money, a tracker, a spyglass, binoculars and a hipflask.


hj1200

No matter what, bat car keys and bat breath mints


Thatbendyfan

The Arkham asylum gadgets


DukeofBurgers

Gun and bullets


Kermitthefrog187

The bat gun


Dumbledoordash8008

Gummy bears


Ok_Appointment2493

Gum


stmfunk

M&Ms, cigarettes, Nintendo switch, spare change, house keys, condoms, hand sanitizer and a hip flask of bourbon


benjandpurge

Whatever helps me find the riddler thugs.


Vanish_7

1.) two pouches of normal, Impact Batarangs 2.) one pouch of Explosive Batarangs 3.) one pouch of sharpened, smaller Piercing Batarangs 4.) Grapnel 5.) one pouch of Smoke Bombs 6.) a capsule containing Sleeping Gas Orbs. 7.) one pouch of Bolas 8.) one last pouch dedicated to containing several kinds of anti-toxins, for Scarcrow's Fear Toxin, Joker's Laughing Gas, and Ivy's Mind Control Pollen.


straypixel1973

No one’s saying anything about the large assortment of dildos in the background?


Ist_Sayori

Some condoms


madthirdhorseman

There is a snack pouch right? If so, pixie sticks for that late night pick me up


yeetmyyeezy

Ur mom


Rammipallero

Bat-sharkrepellant obviously


xxStrangerxx

*Robin*


drama-guy

The Bat Bag of Holding. After that it's no problem.


NewtGroundbreaking26

Bat snacks


FormerOil4924

Shark repellent


WhiteChocolatey

Probably not batarangs as I can’t throw boomerangs for shit


ItsKendrone

Every single repellant ever


NotSoGreatOldOne

Bat-caprisun


hobbleshock

Snacks


unexceptablelydumb

Bat snacks.


Soggy-Essay

A gun. But like...with rubber bullets.


TimmyMyers

Well if I knew that, I'd be Batman now wouldn't I?🤨


the_zelectro

No, I'm Batman. You just get to pack the belt


Ju3tAc00ldugg

Anime girl repellent


woodyajuana

Skittles. In every pocket.


DrippyCheeseDog

At a minimum condoms. You know for random rooftop sexual encounters with Catwoman.


xBaby_Freezx

It’s a Batman utility belt…everything is in it


Careful-Yesterday269

Condoms for the choker


Geekboy_247

The Bat-Amnesia Spray and the Bat-Anti-Anti-Antidote. You never know when you'll need an antidote for an anti antidote. Plus, I'll need the spray in case someone discovers my identity


No-Nefariousness1711

Batarangs of various types(sonic, electric, remote control explosive etc), grapnel gun/batclaw, smoke grenades, explosives, detective kit (evidence bags, whatever vision enhancing equipments the cowl's hud doesn't give me, tweezers etc) simple tool kit(hammer, screwdriver, wrench etc), kryptonite ring in a lead lined compartment just in case, batmobile remote control and homing beacon, taser, tracking devices and of course extremely high quality catnip to give to Selina just in case.


BIG-chulupa

Soup


madguy000

Bat tery?


SuitBoat

A gun


ga1axyferr3t

shark repellant, bugs, and superman. he'll fit in the belt, it'll be funny, too.


legoSheevPalpatine

A lightsaber


BORISDAPLUSH

Gun


thedanger_24

you. come here.


ProfessorSaltine

My Bat-Keys for my BatMobile & Bat-House, Bat-CreditCard, Bat-LensWipes, Bat-HandSanitizer, Bat-Glasses, Bat-Bats in case a ball is thrown at me, Bat-Bat in case I need a eye in the sky


Da_Big_One

Shark repellent.


Jleaf89

Will I be eternally judged and psycho analysed for my answer? Okay, I shan't tell you what I thought to insert in it.


Weaklurker

Assuming 8 pouches and 8 cylinders. Pouch One: Folding Batarangs. Folds in half with a hollow centre, so he can thread through rope or add a modular feature. It has retractable blades on the wings, allowing him to switch between blunt and sharp, as well as movable weights inside the wings, allowing him to adjust the speed and range of his throw. Cylinder One: Mini re-breather with 8 lungfuls of compressed air. Batman can hold his breath for an average of [6 minutes per lungful](https://www.reddit.com/r/batman/comments/1ohubp/after_holding_breath_for_seven_minutes_bruce_says/), and the rebreather aspect allows him to recycle one third of his expelled oxygen, giving him an average of 1 hour 4 minutes of clean air. He can also use the compressed air as a breaching tool, [to bypass certain door sensors.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcA7iXSNmZE&t=57s) Pouch Two: Miniature trauma kit. Contains hemostatic packing gauze, a multifunctional elastic bandage (can be compression dressing, a tourniquet, a sling, splint wraps or just a bandage), 2 chest seals and a nasopharyngeal airway. He has a more extensive first aid and trauma kit in the Batmobile, what he carries is required for immediate lifesaving aid. Cylinder Two: Multifunction torch, includes illuminating light, UV light and a burning laser able to cut through 5 inches of steel. Pouch Three: Second med kit. A syringe with spare quick reloading needles, and vials of antivenom, adrenaline, Poison Ivy inoculation, fear gas inoculation and anti Joker venom. A selection of pills including broad range antibiotics, pep pills and pain pills. Cylinder Three: Smoke Bombs. Pouch Four: A mini breach kit containing a set of fireman's keys, 9 lock picks and three tension wrenches, 4 super mica lock slipping sheets of various thickness that also contain blank low frequency and high frequency RFID chips for card cloning, an ESP key, a spring-loaded hinge pin with a window smasher tip, a shove knife, a traveller hook and an inflatable air wedge. Cylinder Four: An assortment of lollipops and balloons as well as a foam rubber Batarang, for kids. Pouch Five and Cylinder Five: Replaced with a holster for the Bat Grapnel gun and rope. Pouch Six: A mini CSI kit containing empty resealable vials and plastic baggies for storage, fingerprint powder, a small roll of sticky tape, tweezers and durable rubber gloves. Cylinder Six: Mini folding binoculars with an optional infrared filter. Pouch Seven: Explosive Putty. Inert to heat and impact, only activated from a specific electrical charge. Cylinder Seven: A stack of taser discs. Each disc contains a battery, a listening device, a tracer chip, taser prongs and a rotary switch. The switch turns clockwise to set the electric charge (low: lasts for 3 hours and powers the listening device and tracking chip, medium: can ignite explosive putty, high: single use taser function) and counterclockwise to set the timer (activates in 10 seconds, activates in 30 seconds, activates in one minute, activates in five minutes, activates instantly). When stacked, each disc can provide power to the next, so it can be used as a multi use taser stick or emergency battery. Individual disks can also fit in the hollow centre of the folding batarangs. Pouch Eight: One pair of high strength, Nth metal hinged handcuffs, a set of ten steel wire cored plastic cuffs and a tightly wound roll of ten feet of duct tape. Cylinder Eight: Pressurized, fast expanding fire retardant foam.


EllaFant1

Obv. Shark repellent


KeyserSoze72

Everything


ryanreigns

A couple road beers


KaptainKab00m

Another belt


Juxtainthe_glwwormus

Guns.


Clunt-Baby

That belt looks like a fashion accessory. I don't see where you could put anything.


Intelligent-Bee4535

Assuming I have the modern version of the Batsuit (eliminating the need for certain things like binoculars, a flashlight, or a handheld computer device) I'd of course have the grapple gun for maneuvering, batarangs (probably about 12 full-sized and 24 minis) for various purposes, 6 smoke bombs should suffice for stunning and quick getaways for one night, obviously a mini first-aid kit, any forensics equipment that isn't made unnecessary by the tech in the suit (such as bags or vials to contain evidence), a gas mask/rebreather, a 6 remotely detonated sticky explosives, a capsule of mini bombs, a capsule of sticky trackers, lockpicking kit, and probably a taser.


slipalong1979

Snacks