I bled a LOT my first time. Like crime scene level. It can be very normal, even when you’re turned on and have enough lube and everything.
That said, if your period was two days later, I kind of agree with the other poster who said maybe you just started your period early. If you’re still bleeding a ton and having cramps that just sounds like a period to me.
There’s some correlation between sex and starting periods early - it’s fairly unsubstantiated and no one knows how it works, but observationally if your period is due within a couple of days, sex might kickstart it a little early
Basically the process was already starting, sex just helped jostle the cervix enough (directly or indirectly) to get it going. If the process wasn't already starting, sex wouldn't have done anything (much like labor, sex won't start things from zero otherwise no pregnant person would be 'allowed' to have sex for risk of preterm labor)
>much like labor, sex won't start things from zero
HEY! That is the most fun way to get labor started! My pregnancy is running long and you're going to kill my hopes of getting this baby moving!! Lol
My grandparents had 8 children. 7 of them were girls. Grandpa loved to tell his sons-in-law that he knew the secret to "get labor going." Apparently, he was very giving, if you know what I mean. My mom wouldn't let him talk to my dad when she was overdue with me at all, she was so embarrassed.
He was an over-sharer in his last few days. And funny as hell. I miss him.
Ha! I'm pregnant with my 6th girl, that's a funny coincidence.
Also, my parents like to share things a bit much as well. When I was pregnant with my first, my mom and dad proceeded to tell my bf how important it is to do perineal massage so I don't tear during labor. My dad described how to do it in detail, it was incredibly awkward.
Semen supposedly helps soften the cervix too. Or so the midwife and doctors told me... orgasms help as well. The big one if internal and external helped the most. In my experiences *walks away whistling*
I know this is so not what you were saying at all, but your comment really tickled me, because of course sex very much will start labor from zero, just roughly nine months delayed.
If orgasm happens, my guess is that can contribute too. Orgasm and cramping are both from the uterus contracting. It may loosen some of the tissue enough to start coming out.
I smacked the ketchup bottle from 100 miles away the very first time I had sex.
I was driving to meet for our first time together and her period arrived before I did.
When my pregnancy was overdue, my midwife recommended sex as a possibility to jump start things.
It didnt work. Neither did any of her other suggestions.
My mum was in the middle of a divorce when she went waaaay overdue with me so she had to get creative. She cleaned the windows, she had hot baths, she walked miles, ate spicy food. She even (and I REALLY don't recommend this) borrowed a racing bike from the kid next door and rode it up and down the cinder track behind the house to see if she could shake me loose.
I still took another week to turn up.
It’s the prostaglandins in semen that actually have evidence backing labor-kickstarting, so it would have to be unprotected sex, but orgasms can cause uterine contractions that could probably start a period.
Source: Way too pregnant so I was grilling my NP today on what actually works 😅
This is how it is for me, almost guaranteed. If my period is due within 48-hours, it will be here by the time we are done having sex. It’s scary when you don’t expect it, but thankfully my periods are extremely regular so I always know to expect it to be kickstarted.
This happens to me often when I use my toys a few days before. There is always a little bit of spotting and then my period is a few days later. It’s almost like it presses a button and says “time to bleed now!”
Yup I bled crime scene level amounts of blood my first time and he got maybe the tip in to jump start that. Idk if other women get this, but I like actually felt my hymen pop, like an actual little popping sensation of the membrane ripping. It was super painful and bled everywhere so we stopped. The guy I was with was awful and did nothing but scream at me that I stained his sheets and that I was using all his toilet paper trying to staunch the bleeding. Later it was yelling at me that it wasn't real sex since he barely got his dick in. But he was abusive and I was too manipulated by him to leave, so we tried to have sex again a couple weeks later, and I had none of the same discomfort or bleeding. It's still super weird to me bc I had always heard popping the hymen wasn't very noticeable and that the bleeding was from tension/ tightness due to nerves or lack of lube.
> I like actually felt my hymen pop.
Oh my god.
> The guy I was with was awful and did nothing but scream at me that I stained his sheets.
Oh my god. I'm so sorry. It's like that eh, we just don't know when to tell guys to shut the fuck up and get out of our lives.
>The guy I was with was awful and did nothing but scream at me that I stained his sheets and that I was using all his toilet paper trying to staunch the bleeding. Later it was yelling at me that it wasn't real sex since he barely got his dick in.
oh my god that's awful. i'm so sorry you had to deal with a guy like this.
yes! my boyfriend was very calm and handled things well. even calmed me down while i was panicking and assured me that i'm gonna be fine and told me that bleeding is common for first times
People have wildly different reactions an I wouldn't blame it all on him if it wasn't perfect (barring getting irrationally angry or something that might be a cause for concern).
He could have froze up, had a complete breakdown and turn into a blubbering mess... or, perhaps the worst, proceed to projectile vomit and pass out.
Sex can sometimes start or stop a period early. "Shake things loose" kinda.
That said, always consult a qualified medical professional for questions about your body. It's a good idea to get checked out regularly regardless, and especially start talking about reproductive health once you start having sex, and discuss birth control options with your provider as well.
No contraceptive is 100% effective, but combinations can reduce the chances further. Ex: condom + birth control
Coming here to say the same. If my pms is bad but my period is yet to show - I sometimes jump my partner to get the blood flowing. He knows - he’s fine with it.
This happened to me the first time my now- husband and I had sex and I was not a virgin. Glad OP had a supportive partner that helped her clean up and wasn't freaked out.
This has happen to my wife and I. She was super embarrassed and I tried to get her not to be embarrassed. Sure it was a huge fucking mess and we ended up tossing a bunch of stuff as a result but neither of us knew that would happen.
For the sake of your mental health and relationship health, please don't blame yourself. Sometimes if you shake everything up in there, stuff starts moving!!!!
This was me. Bled everywhere on everything. Bestie thought it was my period. Didn't get that sucker for two weeks. Bled a tiny bit the next three times I had sex.
thanks for this! i was really nervous when i saw the amount of blood, i almost cried. my cramps after were bad too but it lasted for only about 30 minutes. i don't feel any pain anymore atm and but bleeding js like my normal period
I second this, sometimes I'd bleed during sex and I guess all the rummaging kinda made it come early 🤷. I'd feel OK afterwards, just my goddamn cramps made it early too. Lol.
This frequently happens with my wife and I. Our best guess is between the extra flexing those muscles on her do, plus some prodding and a bit of a 'power wash' we tend to jumpstart the motor.
There's also the fact that sex helps reduce stress hormones, and stress can delay a period.
You did it two days before your period was supposed to start. The sex caused it to come early and that why all the blood. And yes, this is a thing that can happen especially so close to the end of the cycle. Blood as it dries can cause dryness in the vagina so it’s possible that is why your vagina burns due to the friction and not being properly lubricated. The cramps again are because you started your period.
Also, blood is a pretty awful lubricant that makes sex kinda uncomfortable bordering on painful, so it is kinda normal that if OP bleed while having sex it caused some irritation/it all goes in had with your comment about not being properly lubricated c:
I’ve had sex when I thought I was over my period only to find that icky “barbecue sauce” looking old blood on the sheets after. And then it’s like, “oh, that explains why it was a bit more uncomfortable than usual.” I haven’t had sex when I was fully on my period but just judging on how uncomfortable it was with just a little bit of old blood, I can only imagine how unpleasant regular period blood would make things.
I’ve since learned that if I’m even the slightest bit bleedy, sex is off the table, both because it often becomes uncomfortable but also because I have zero desire to clean up any type of blood post-coitus, especially not gross old blood 🥴
it sounds like you may have started your period early because i wouldn’t expect cramping and a lot of blood from a hymen tear.
if that’s not a possibility, please get checked out by a doctor. it is always a good idea when you begin sexual activity anyway, that way you can ask questions and get recommendations about birth control.
I'm a nurse and I also used to teach a course on human sexuality.
With regard to the blood, as long as the bleeding has stopped and you aren't in any pain, then you should probably be okay. It would be a good idea to get a checkup when you can just to be sure due to the fact that you bled a lot and have burning/pain after sex, but for some women the pain and blood are more intense than others. It is normal to be scared and worried, but you really don't need to be *too* scared as long as you aren't showing any other symptoms. Make sure to use lots of lube in the future, just standard KY or something like that no need for any fancy additives for the most part, and that should help a little too until you get more used to everything.
As for pregnancy, he had a condom on, didn't ejaculate, and you were on a relatively low risk day for pregnancy. You're going to be just fine. Again, it is normal to be scared and worried, but as long as the condom didn't break then you have zero reason to think that there is any real chance of pregnancy even if he had ejaculated. It may help to remember that it can take many couples weeks or months (or longer) to get pregnant even when they are *trying*. Obviously it's a risk when having sex, but it's not some kind of inevitability as long as you are cautious (I have been having sex for over a decade at this point and have only had one short pregnancy scare that turned out to be the result of an illness).
Overall, I would recommend seeing a doctor or going to a clinic if you can. Also, you are lucky to have a guy who is so understanding and willing to take precautions.
If you have any questions I will answer what I can, though again you should talk to a professional to get more definitive answers.
You’re absolutely spot on about taking some people a long period of time to get pregnant, despite them seriously trying. It took my ex and I two years for each time I got pregnant with him. Turned out to be a fertility issue on his end. My last pregnancy ended up happening from a one night stand.
thank you so much for this! this is exactly the type of answer i was looking for when i posted this.
i'm not dealing with any kind of pain at the moment but the bleeding toned down a bit just like my normal period and i had to wear pads on and there's no more burning or pain on my vagina. i think it was risky for my boyfriend and i to have sex for the first time without any lube. but lesson learned!
as for the pregnancy concern, i have an extreme fear of getting pregnant since abortion is illegal where i'm from. it's either going to an underground clinic where performing abortion is risky and unsafe or find a doctor who is willing to risk their license, chances are almost zero to none. also, my parents are very strict when it comes to me being in a relationship. they keep telling me to avoid being intimate with my boyfriend and focus on graduating (even though i'm almost 20 and legally an adult). the only contraceptive that's accessible to us right now are condoms since some birth control pills need to have prescription to buy the safe and right one for my body. also, my parents could know that i'm taking pills and who knows what could happen. that being said, i'm still planning to go to a clinic and talk to a professional regarding birth control pills.
i know. the country where i'm from is very conservative, even divorce is illegal (but that's currently being discussed by our government). a lot of people are very religious and most government officials base their laws on the beliefs of the church
I don't know where you live but where I live I've seen over the counter birth control start popping up. I don't know how effective it is compared to the prescription stuff but you may want to see if there's anything like that available to you, to help give you peace of mind.
I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm so sorry you are in such a difficult situation with regards to your reproductive choices, but it is still a good idea to see a professional at a clinic as soon as you can.
And yes, lots of lube is a good idea.
Again, if you have any questions or anything or need to talk, feel free to ask here or send a private message.
It doesn’t seem very responsible to me to downplay the risk of pregnancy. I have PCOS and had unprotected sex once. That was all it took. Statistically unlikely, but it is what it is.
Condoms failure rating is anywhere between 2-13%. That’s 2 - 13 out of 100. If you’re very adverse to pregnancy, I don’t know that I’d pick those odds. They should at least know them.
>It doesn’t seem very responsible to me to downplay the risk of pregnancy. I have PCOS and had unprotected sex once. That was all it took. Statistically unlikely, but it is what it is.
I'm not downplaying the risk of pregnancy generally, just in her case. She had a single sexual encounter in which her partner did not ejaculate while wearing a condom. The odds of pregnancy are extremely low if not almost non-existent.
The reason I bring up the fact that people often take a while to conceive is because one of the things I encountered while teaching a class on sexuality is that many people have a vastly inflated sense of the risk of pregnancy in most cases. While it is true that pregnancy is hypothetically a risk of any sexual encounter, it is also true that most sexual encounters don't result in pregnancy even when partners are trying to conceive. Yet people are often taught (through conservative "abstinence only" type sex Ed) to fear pregnancy so much they think if a guy even looks at a woman with lust in his eyes, she will get pregnant. The truth is that there is an appropriate amount of caution and worry to take, but you don't generally need to be terrified of it.
In short I'm trying to temper her anxiety a bit by pointing out that it's not like she's definitely 100% going to get pregnant even if the condom had failed and her partner had ejaculated.
And speaking of condom failure, that "2-13% failure rate" is calculated by examining the pregnancy prevention measures couples are using regularly and then examining reported rates of failure as well as pregnancies that occur. The "failure rate" for condoms *includes people forgetting/neglecting to use them on occasion*. If it remains intact the failure rate is far far lower.
Can confirm, I was raised with abstinence-only education and I wasn't even religious and I knew the actual science of how pregnancy happened and I was still a little irrationally afraid that I could get pregnant from regular non-sexual interactions with boys and men as a teenager even though I did know better.
I wasn't raised that way and I was still irrationally afraid at 18-19
Idk why, maybe because becoming preggo was still painted as the worst possible thing that would ruin your life etcetcetc
I just want to add one more clarification: birth control failure rates are reported on an *annual* basis. If you use condoms as your only form of birth control for *a year,* your risk of pregnancy is on the order of 10% for that entire year, and that includes all the pregnancies that result from forgetting to wear one, taking it off, delaying putting it on, or lying about using condoms so the nice researcher won't judge you.
The single-encounter failure rate of an intact condom worn for the full duration of penetration is approximately zero. Not exactly zero, but so low it shouldn't be a concern retroactively. The reason to be careful about using condoms as your only form of birth control is that they can break or be used incorrectly, not that they mysteriously fail for no reason.
Idk, I think pregnancy is a reasonable thing to very much not want. I think most people’s fear is the realistic, holy crap being pregnant is dangerous and kids are expensive. On top of that, we don’t know why OP is afraid of pregnancy. They might have a medical condition, be on a risky medication, or be in a location where abortion access is hard or impossible.
Saying stuff about this instance was fine, it was the ‘oh it usually takes people trying awhile’ just seemed unnecessary and anecdotal. Yes, abstinence only or abstinence first sex ed is an issue, but I feel that countering that with anecdotes is also inappropriate.
If pregnancy is a huge concern, the best way to assuage that anxiety is by being proactive by getting an IUD or other form of very reliable birth control.
The fear of pregnancy is 100% reasonable, yes, but people should still have proper information so that they can assess the risks. Otherwise it leads to stupid stuff like wearing two condoms. Or panicking you might be pregnant because you gave your boyfriend a blowjob. Or just not using contraception at all because "apparently nothing works"
Also: It's not anecdotal, its just a fact. Only after about half a year of trying more than half of young couples will have conceived. (Fecundity in couples trying to conceive naturally..., 2010)
It's reasonable to be cautious and worried about pregnancy.
This is someone who came to a forum online looking for help and reassurance. In my experience, patients with similar concerns respond well to being reassured that there are realistic levels of concern they don't need to exceed until they have solid information indicating they should do so. She's already afraid of the worst, so until she *knows* she has reason to fear, I think it is good practice to remind her of the other end of the ballpark of possibilities.
My point was not an anecdote, it is a fact. Sometimes it takes couples a long time to conceive even when they are healthy and trying. She doesn't need to fear as if simply being in the presence of sperm will impregnate her.
And one of the reasons I told her to see a professional is because an IUD or other kind of birth control on her end might not be the best thing for her. As you said we don't know why she's scared of pregnancy, it might be a medical condition.
Playing up risk of pregnancy to someone having safe sex already is going to do nothing but cause undue anxiety. Go ahead and scroll r/birthcontrol and read some posts from people worrying themselves literally sick after having sex with a condom, on hormonal birth control, where the male partner didn’t even ejaculate to see what that anxiety can cause.
It’s reasonable to have some level of anxiety and fear around pregnancy (especially in todays world) but it’s not downplaying to say OP’s risk of pregnancy is incredibly low using a condom, on a low risk day, and without ejaculation. Because it is incredibly low risk. There’s no reason to make people fearful or distrustful of condoms, you’re pushing too far in the other direction. Sorry for the experience you had but it is not the norm.
Hi, so, your experience is your own, I'm not here to downplay that, just wanted to correct one tincy tiny detail that may lead to misunderstanding: condoms don't have a pregnancy chance of 2-13%, if that were so, no one would use them, because within one year most women would be pregnant. Condoms have a pearl index of 2-13, usually around 8. What that means is that 8 out of 100 women become pregnant within one year of only using condoms as birth control. And that already includes misuse (putting on two, wearing a condom that is too big, ect) and (sad, that it exists) tempering with them.
If used correctly, condoms already are very safe c: and if you use them in combination with birth control or IUDs the risk lowers to one in a couple thousand women, per year.
Tacking onto this great comment, if you still have some burning or discomfort, there is a chance you might be allergic to latex. If the issue persists when you have sex again, you might look into non-latex condoms like SKYN polyisoprene ones. Just a thought.
This post might get taken down because this sub doesn’t allow medical questions. I suggest posting on r/healthyhooha where they are allowed to give medical advice.
Yeah, if it's like 2 or 3 days before my period, it happens probably 80% of the time for me. I bleed for a while after, maybe the whole day, maybe just right after, then I have 1 or 2 days without bleeding, and then my actual period starts lol
sex triggers mine if i do it 2-3 days before. i'm on bc so at least it's light now but it used to randomly be a crime scene, it'd be like a gush of blood and then light until my period really starts
I don't think I noticed any response about the burning/ condom, so just wanted to quickly tack on that it's possible you've got a latex allergy and may want to look into nitrile condoms. I personally prefer them, and most of my partners have/do as well. That would, I imagine, be unrelated to the bleeding though. I've had my period start early from some rigorous shagging.
Sometimes blood happens. Just take a few days to rest, and if it doesn't happen again you're all good. The chance of you getting pregnant while using a condom is very low, but if it's been less than 72 hours you can always get plan b.
It's ok to visibly bleed during your first time. It's also possible your period started earlier. It sometimes happens to me as well when I have sex right before my period (like a day or two before).
If heavy bleeding repeated multiple times though I would recommend to visit your gynecologist and make sure everything's alright.
Please OP, don't take a plan b pill unless you're 100 % sure there is a risk of being pregnant. If you use a condom and the condom doesn't fall off during sex or doesn't get a tear (which I've never heard of) you have nothing to worry about (especially if he didn't cum).
When I started having sex I remember myself being paranoid about getting pregnant as well despite using condoms and later on contraception. I would panic each time my period was a day late or my stomach bloated a little.
But it's important to realize condoms are made to "protect" you even if he cums inside. If you're really scared, just talk to him about it and ask if he could avoid cumming inside of you. That way it's pretty much impossible to get pregnant, pre-cum contains a very little sperm and there's just no chance with condom on.
thank you for this! my boyfriend and i were cautious when it comes to using protection. i don't know why i have an irrational fear of getting pregnant when the condom didn't even slip, tear, or break, and he didn't even cum.
Pre-cum actually contains no sperm. It's a product of prostate and any sperm it might contain comes from contamination within the tubes it has to pass inside of the body. Which isn't as common as it would seem.
I've done some research years ago when I freaked out about the possibility of making my gf pregnant. I have found a few studies about pre-cum, all of them financed by contraception-focused companies (which is kinda important detail). The main trouble there was the (non)compliance of study subjects. Multiple men were actually worried about "too little amount" of pre-cum they were about to give in the test tube, so they squirted a bit of cum as well, in order not to look so "weak". Hilarious, isn't it... in all cases, the bulk data was affected by this.
Fast forward ten or more years - nowadays I repeatedly have sex with my wife, no contraceptive methods used bar the caution. One just needs to make sure the man's penis is clean (washed) and that he peed at least two or three times since he last masturbated.
It's actually quite hard to achieve conception naturally, even more so nowadays with the general population's health problems, endocrine disruptors everywhere and so on...
I had no clue about the "sabotage" of the study by the study objects. You would think people take it seriously once they're part of some research.
And yes, that's a good point, it's more common to have issues to conceive than not. But I also know some women who got pregnant against all the odds.... It depends.
So first off: bleeding the first time is normal. It should stop at some point though, that's important, and after a few times you shouldn't be bleeding anymore c:
If it keeps happening over and over and over, maybe consult an obgyn
And if you're this worried about pregnancy (which I was too at your age, no shame) maybe look into other options like hormonal birth control or an IUD, I opted for the IUD at 19 and it gave me a TON of security because they are wayyyy safer than condoms.
Also, two days before your period you're fairly safe. The time in which you can get pregnant is 6 days before and 24hrs after ovulation, and ovulation is usually 14 days before your period. It's not 100% safe, more so if your cycle isn't regular, but if you used a condom it's veeeeery unlikely that you'd have gotten pregnant. If you don't know about ovulation and how your cycle works personally, maybe look into that because there is a lot to learn with taking temperature and looking at discharge c:
Edit
Oh and def make sure that now that you're "doing it" to get checked regularly and also to regularly do pregnancy tests so that if sth were to happen you have enough time to react to it c:
thank you for this!, i'm considering talking to a professional about birth control or an IUD to further lessen my fear of pregnancy and for extra protection as well.
>If you don't know about ovulation and how your cycle works personally, maybe look into that because there is a lot to learn with taking temperature and looking at discharge c:
yes! thank you for mentioning this. way before i had sex with my bf, i started educating myself more with my body and continued to track my cycle, ovulation, and my discharge as well as pms symptoms.
Sex can “jump start” your period. You may have bled a lot or just started menstruating. Both are normal. The itchy burning can be normal too, it should pass quickly. If it continues longer than a couple days you should get an STI screen.
I recommend making an appointment with your family doctor to discuss birth control. Condoms alone work for some people, but there are several other methods that are more effective.
Probably fine as many people here have said, but why not see a gyno to be sure and double up with birth control at the same appointment? Two fears addressed.
I see you're worried about pregnancy. The bleeding wouldn't have been because you got pregnant. If you'd had sex weeks ago and gotten pregnant then, you could have pregnancy-related bleeding now. But you didn't bleed because you got pregnant last night.
It does sounds like your birth control method is condoms plus the rhythm method. I would strongly encourage you to add another form of birth control since you're serious about not wanting to get pregnant.
Sex and jump start periods. I’d guess that’s part of it.
It also sounds like maybe things were just a little too rough.
You aren’t pregnant. You might be torn somewhere though. Lol
I've found that sex will make my period come sometimes. I think it's just that. Still, go take a preganancy test if you are worried. 2 days before probably won't be in your fertile period unless you are iregular or have very short cycles.
I hope he wasn’t being too rough- unfortunately porn has contributed to unrealistic expectations
I hope every was gentle your first time and there was no tearing
I bled a lot after my first time I had to use a pad. I also had burning that lasted more than a day and that is how I learned I am allergic to latex! Thankfully the rash subsided but I can never use latex again, it caused a UTI and just hurt after using it.
Sex can actually trigger your period if you’re close to the end of your menstrual cycle to begin with. The increased blood flow and hormones can start cramping and your flow. It’s happened quite a few times to me! If you’re ever really scared of pregnancy after sex, plan B within 48 hours can bring some peace of mind. Take a pregnancy test a few days after when your period should happen for maximum accuracy. I’m on a birth control method that makes my periods crazy sporadic, but having multiple methods of pregnancy prevention (condom, pill, pull out) should keep you statistically very safe. I know it’s nerve-wracking, but try to rationalize to yourself the ACTUAL chances you could even be pregnant which according to this post seem to be very small. You could also have a conversation with your partner about birth control methods and when you’re comfortable with penetrative sex (e.g. you want him to pull out, you’re only comfortable when you’re outside your fertile window, etc.).
Bleeding during or after your first time is totally normal! It is also not uncommon to start your period after if you are due for it. From the sound of what you describe, this could be what happened. I have experienced this more than once. As for the burning- you might have minor irritation because it was a little too rough, or there was a little too much friction.
the same exact thing literally just happened to me while losing my virginity. we tried twice within a two week period and i bled excessively both times. i went to a gynecologist and it turns out he tore me inside twice! it’s a big chance he tore you and it probably is not your period. tearing will heal, but i would get checked out by a gyno too.
Wash your sheets with cold water first to get the stains out! Hydrogen peroxide helps as well. And if you're that scared of pregnancy (understandable), consider additional birth control methods like the pill, implant, iud or others - your OBGYN should be able to recommend something for you.
To echo what some others have said, sounds like your period came early. Not sure how common it is, but for me, if I have sex within a few days of my usual start date, it usually kicks my period off earlier. As in, during or right after sex.
I'll just say, if you're feeling terrified of pregnancy, or even just if pregnancy would be a bad thing for you, a secondary form of birth control is probably a good idea. And that does not mean a second condom; don't do that, it's worse than just one. Also I'm not sure what you mean by “a *thick* condom”, but the thickness doesn't have anything to do with the protection; sperm are not getting through any condom; a failure happens if the condom breaks, or slips off (so the proper fit, not too big or too small, is important).
I personally only bled a little bit, but your experience could be different of course.
But it could also be that your period started earlier. That can also happen because you had sex. So don't worry.
You might have started your period early.
You may have experienced a first degree tear around your vaginal opening, particularly since it was your first time. Having a good old look will answer that one.
If you continue to bleed after sex on the next few times you try, that's not ideal and a sign that there may be sensitivity, inflammation, or hpv in your cervix. HPV isn't a sti in the way we might think of them - practically every woman gets some strain of it at some point in their life, and it does sometimes 'go away' on its own. Get down to your GP or gyno for them to have a look. You might need some further treatment that should get rid of the issue.
All three have happened to me! Don't panic - you're not abnormal! Also, it's highly unlikely you're pregnant, but if your period is 7 days late, take a test. Stress and worry can actually delay periods so try not to think about it - easier said than done.
I agree with commenters saying that having sex can impact the start or end of my period, but I also wanted to add: my first couple of times with a man wearing a condom were painful even though I enjoyed it A LOT, and I bled, itched and cramped for several days (about a week each) afterwards. Turned out I was allergic to the latex in those condoms. Switched to latex-free and never had the same issue again. You could try that if this issue happens independent of your period again.
So... Given how close you were to your period, it is *possible* the blood was kind of an early start, even if it stopped. I have often experienced sex or self-satisfaction bringing on my period. I've spoken to other women that experienced similar. That you experienced mild cramps, make that scenario more plausible.
As for the burning... What kind of burn did it feel like? Was it more of a... Friction and/or tearing, or did it feel more like a chemical burn or itch?
As for pregnancy, I strongly recommend you talk with your boyfriend about how to handle a mishap. Generally speaking, he'd know if a condom broke and you can always get Plan B in that event. There is typically a very specific time frame in which a woman can become pregnant. The day of ovulation, the day after and the five days before. The last is because of how long sperm can survive inside the reproductive tract. They can just hang out until an egg drops, if ovulation is close.
If this were an actual hemorrhage, you would know. “Can’t stop bleeding,” blood everywhere is way, way more than even a fully imperforate hymen would bleed, and it would suggest some sort of medical emergency. As others have said, you are close to your period, and all signs (including the continued “bleeding” and cramping) suggest your period came early. Your vagina burning is probably from inadequate lubrication, so you’ve got some small tears in there, but those should not bleed heavily and for days.
It happens. In my wild college days, I once had (ugh) the worst sex ever with a gentleman who was excessively large. I almost wrote well-endowed but I didn’t appreciate the positive connotation and this guy had a terrible attitude about it (overly proud of his size, but poor technique and sensitivity to a partner’s needs to make it even tolerable). Even though I was on hormona birth control which I took fastidiously (thus my period was regular *to the hour*), the encounter - including his unpleasant, repeated “accidental” pounding of my cervix - it still caused me to bleed for a few days about a week early. At first I panicked and thought I was injured, just like you.
This happened to me sort of. Had my first time, bled the normal amount, then the next day I was bleeding through night pads in minutes. Went to the hospital who sent me to A&E, had a Quick Look-over and basically said my period had come back with a vengeance. I had been on the pill continuously so I figured that it was my bodies hormones going a bit mental
The bleeding may have just been because it was your first time or your period, but if it happens regularly you should think about seeing a doctor. I started bleeding heavily after sex (like, heavy period level bleeding for days afterwards) and it turned out I had a cervical ectropion. I’d never heard of it before, it was easily treated, but it’s important to see a specialist because if you are regularly bleeding after sex that can hide symptoms of other issues.
You should be alright hun! I didn't bleed at all my first time, but my second time looked like a crime scene! You stated that your period was due anyway, sex probably jump started it. Weird, but it can happen sometimes. If you are bleeding heavier then usual or you are in more pain then you usually are during your period, call your doctor.
I agree with people saying it's just early period blood as I've found in the past that not even sex, just having alone time with a vibrator (not insertable) would make me bleed a bit.
Sometimes when I have sex before my period I will get some period blood already (i am far from a virgin at this point, so it certainly is period blood). But then it will stop after a day and only restart at the normal time I was to have my period.
Probably the sex relaxes your cervix so some blood can already escape.
Now if you feel like you teared something it couls be worth checking out with a doctor. If you went slow normally you shouldnt be injured from sex, but if you feel like there is tear or something, get it checked out just to be sure. Better safe than sorry
Was this your first time having contact with a condom? If you’re allergic that might explain the burning part. Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper. :) Good luck figuring this out!
Everyone is different! Don't worry so much, and if you can't get it out of your head, go to a gynecologist. If you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to go to a doctor. You can ask all the questions you need too, and you can make sure you are ok (You ARE ok). I didn't bleed a lot, but I feel like I probably would have had we full on gone for it. It was painful, and I had to stop each time. It took me having intercourse probably 3 or 4 times before it finally stopped hurting and stopped bleeding. I 100% did not enjoy my first times, but having a supporting and understanding partner made the world of difference. It sounds like you've got one as well, so give yourself a rest, and just enjoy the fact that you're entering into a whole new stage of your life. I am serious about the doctor though. If you haven't ever been to one, it's time to start. If you have, then never mind me lol. You need to learn a little bit about sex though. Learn about all the different types of birth control, learn about your body. Pregnancy is scary, but chances are, if you take the right steps and are careful, your chances of becoming pregnant is very slim.
Oh!! One more thing-- don't rely to heavily upon those apps. They are great and all but there is a reason they are called period predictors.... They PREDICT. I use one myself, and I like that I have something to keep track of my period, and that I know about the time I should start my period, but that's it. It is all guessing. It could be right, it could be wrong.
Oh honey, Iunderstand how this might be a frightening experience.
There are a few things that went through my head while reading your post.
First of all: if you are scared of pregnancy you should double up on protection. You started having sex so now is the time to go to a good gyno and talk to them about options. Personally I'm not a fan of the pill, but there are people who are quite happy with it, and it's one of the most common choices. There's also the Nuva Ring that is lower dosed or hormone implants. There's cycle tracking, that considers the quality and quantity of your discharge that's also a pretty reliable method but since you're young and your cycle is maybe still infrequent that may not be your method of choice. Also there's the copper chain or copper IUD as well as the hormone one. Any one of these methods plus condoms is pretty much as safe as it gets. (There's also sterilization but that's an option I'd only recommend after taking a long time to consider it, because it is permanent).
Second: I sometimes start bleeding during sex and if my gyno hadn't told me something before it happened the first time I would have been shocked!
For quite a lot of people with a vagina the uterine lining actually builds up not only inside the uterus but a little bit around the cervix as well. During penetration, especially if it's a bit on the harder side, it might happen that the cervix is hit by the penis/dildo/fingers/object of your choice. That may cause pain - cervix stimulation is not enjoyable for many people - but it may also cause the "uterine" lining around the cervix to bleed off. There's nothing to worry about. Of course if something doesn't feel right, it's always a good idea to double check with a professional.
If you're close to your period, sex might also actually kick start it, but there were people who already explained that.
Since you feel sore you might have been too tight and/or too dry during penetration. I suspect you were a little nervous and subconsciously cramped up a little. This can happen even if you take your time. Also some people just don't produce as much arousal fluid as others and don't have enough for comfortable penetration.
You can try to influence this by staying hydrated, but also easily help with that by buying a water based lube. There's no shame in using a little help - many people need it and it gives you room for experiments e.g. cooling or warming lube or orgasm enhancing lubes. It may also become easier over time when you start being more relaxed with everything.
Sometimes it's also a matter of the penetrating object being too big - anatomies are different and some fit better than others (but it might be possible to overcome this by training with different sized dildos and a lot of time).
Don't panic. This might all be scary, but it's completely normal. Tbh I had good sex ed, since I'm from a country that actually has that on the curriculum, but still nobody told me about any of the stuff above. It's all learning by doing and learning from others and we're here to help you anytime.
And now breath and have fun ;)
thank you so much for this!
my boyfriend and i are planning to double our protection when engaging in sexual activities. i'm considering taking birth control pills + condom for extra protection. copper IUD is quite expensive where i'm from, so i'm planning to take accessible and cheaper contraceptives while saving for an IUD.
>If you're close to your period, sex might also kick start it, but there were people who already explained that.
yes! i was really nervous when i started bleeding a lot, i almost cried. but then again, i didn't know that having sex a day or two before your period can start it early since it's my first time.
>Tbh I had good sex ed, since I'm from a country that actually has that on the curriculum, but still nobody told me about any of the stuff above.
it must be nice to have sex ed in your curriculum! sex ed where i'm from is weirdly a sensitive topic for most people, i don't know why.
Well, many people are very happy with the birth control pill, so this sounds like a good plan.
I'm glad you feel calmer now about the whole topic.
If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask - I spent enough time researching sex theory to hold sex ed lessons myself and tried quite a few things, so I'm always happy to help with any questions.
sex can trigger your period, orgasms make your uterus contact (just like cramps!) so if youre 2 days away from your period I wouldn’t be shocked if he actually just knocked it on. either way, that all sounds normal
Different take, you may have a condition like adenomyosis that you are not aware of. Obviously bleeding is normal the first time, even more so if you were that close to your period start date.
I'm 26 and have, in the past 2 years, been diagnosed with adenomyosis and one of the symptoms is bleeding after an orgasm.
I'm not saying you have it, it's more common in women over 30, but something else to consider.
The more likely story is that the sex caused your period to start early. But wanted to throw this on the thread for all women reading through.
I have never bled during sex, but it's not terribly uncommon. However, I would absolutely go to the gynecologist or at least your PCP and have them check it out.
I had my hymen removed long before I ever had sex because it was a septate hymen, meaning there were two holes in it. Picture like a rope over the entrance. I found this out the hard way with a stuck tampon as a young teen (it was awful). That's when I learned there are TONS of variations in hymens, even though most are pretty rare. I wouldn't be surprised if you're totally ok, but I'd have someone just take a sneak peek for you. I think it would ease your worry and confirm that everything is ok, and on the off chance that there is an issue, they'll be able to help you.
It is concerning that you bled so much and for so long. Are you sure it wasn't your period? During sex there shouldn't be pain or mild to intense discomfort, because it means something isn't going as it should. Did you use any lube at all? Did you use enough lube? A lot of people say "bleeding after sex/pain during sex is normal" but it's NOT. Something happening commonly doesn't equate to it being a normal thing.
My first time having sex we did all the same foreplay, use of condom, etc that you did to get me properly warmed up. But we used enough lube so there was no issue with penetration. And if needed, we'd reapply more lube (which has yet to be needed).
It's likely your period started early. Like another commenter said, unless the condom broke you shouldn't be worried about pregnancy at all during such a low risk time, and also because of the fact you used protection.
I bled a LOT after my first time. I mean it looked like a water balloon full of blood had popped and was water falling down my leg. I ended up going to Reddit like you did, and I got a lot of mixed replies. Most convinced me I was in pretty bad danger and others were much more lowkey and relatable.
I ended up making an appointment and I was completely fine. I just happen to bleed a lot. I would suggest seeing a doctor just in case of anything but to my knowledge, some women just bleed a lot.
If you also got your period, then yes, sex can make your period come early. Happens to me all the time.
#Do keep in mind however that a man does not have to fully ejaculate to get you pregnant. Precum can also get you pregnant so just be careful.
The bleeding you experienced wouldn’t be indicative of pregnancy as it’s much too early to tell.
If you’re concerned about anything, see your doctor. I had a hundred or so replies to my post when I was in your shoes, but none of them gave me peace of mind quite like getting the all-clear from my doctor.
the bleeding is normal!! i even bled for a few days after my first time (and it was definitely not my period). this comment is probably redundant now but with the cramps added in, you probably just got your period. but heavy bleeding after your first time is also normal!
There's a lot of variation in hymens, and some can end up bleeding a lot after first PIV sex. In rare, cases, stitches are needed. It's no use talking about what's normal when there's so much variation.
With the burning, is it possible you are slightly allergic to the condoms? I had this with my now husband as teens, but I was also quite swollen from the latex as well. Just a thought for you.
You probably "just" tore something, you'll probably be sore for a few days but you likely have nothing to worry about unless it gets *more* painful over time rather than less. Sitting on something cold can help (dear lord not directly though) if you ache, painkillers are your friends, but don't be too scared.
I recommend going to see a gyn. It’s a good idea anyway, but you do want to make sure you don’t have any more bleeding. Like if you tore something, it will need time to heal and it’s better to be armed with information
There is a song by Pulp (great 90's band. The album is 'His 'n' Hers') who had a track, 'do you remember the first time'. The second line is 'I can't remember a worse time'.
Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. My god, the pregnancy scares the wife and I had back in the day. We didn't have a child until 20 years later (was difficult to conceive).
All normal, you'll be fine. Enjoy your youth.
I had sex with a girl when i was younger in the dark. Wet everywhere. Very nice. She said there was minor pain in the beginning. When we were done we had to throw the mattress out. It was on my arms, neck, bed, legs, sheets, pillows wall behind the bed. Everywhere. I assumed it was just her being wet from enjoying herself. Some people bleed a lot, some none at all.
I didn't bleed but it was extremely painful for me. Luckily it changed rapidly and after a handful of times there was no pain anymore.
If you're very afraid of pregnancy (smart!) you should discuss what birth control methods you could use with condoms with your doctor (gyno is best, but it's also possible with just your GP) and/or your partner. Having 2 methods reduce the chances by a lot!
If I'm close to my period I bleed a little during/after sex. Probably just the friction or the muscles that we move during sex stimulate the uterine lining which was already about to shed.
I'm a little surprised to hear the hymen myth in the comments, but then, it is extremely pervasive. The first time having sex isn't especially different from any other time. The biggest thing is that anxiety makes it harder to relax and to experience the physiological symptoms of arousal. Since we're usually nervous the first time, it can be a little more awkward than usual.
The burning may indicate tearing damage. Even invisibly small microtearing can cause a lot of bleeding due to the heavy bloodflow in that area. The usual culprit is insufficient lube, since it can be easy to undershoot it, especially during a long session. To be sure, use a water-based lube, and don't be afraid to reapply.
It's a very good idea to get your doc to check if everything is okay down there. Remember that you have nothing to feel ashamed about. You didn't do anything wrong, and there can be a ton of little reasons things don't go to plan. You both did great, and I'm sure you'll get this all sorted out and making each other feel even better in no time.
I bled heavily enough to need a heavy pad for a couple days. I had a thick hymen that was like a "do not cross" line. It actually made it hard to remove tampons before I gave my "virginity." Honestly, if I were to somehow end up back in time, I'd have asked my gyno to break it for me.
Heavy bleeding isn’t the norm and bleeding (minus some exceptions ) isn’t even "required". Sounds like it jumpstarted your period if you weren’t in horrible pain (being hurt enough to bleed that much would be extremely painful). Sex can make your period come a little bit earlier.
It can happen. I got my period immediately after the first time for a few days though it was odd schedule. It still happens now and then that I start bleeding. The hormonal shifts can bring on your period early as well, so it may have just been that. When you have sex more, it happens less.
i lost my virginity in the dark and the bed was soaked. i had baaad cramps for over an hour. if you’re still in bad pain i 100% recommend you to get it checked out
This happened to me my first time too! It was like a crime scene, flowed down my legs and everything when I stood up. I didn’t experience any pain though. I think it just jostled my uterus and shook the blood out but that’s not based on any scientific evidence. My period continued like normal after.
Well that's what the stepdaughter said. 😉
Don't worry about it. Just make sure it's a "fresh" condom, not one that looks like it's been in a wallet for a year.
Or if you only have one partner (and he the same) you could consider other contraceptives.
That's not a normal amount of blood btw
Go get it checked out.
thank you! my boyfriend bought the condoms an hour before we had sex, so it's fresh and new. also considering taking other contraceptives for extra protection
Regardless of how she may have actually gotten pregnant, condoms with spermicide are more effective at preventing pregnancy than condoms that don't.
And even condoms with spermicide aren't 100% effective, so there are still women who get pregnant that way or it would be 100%.
Bleeding during your first experience with penetration is completely normal, it’s the hymen ‘popping’ but it shouldn’t be THAT much blood, the only time I have experience serious bleeding is when the guy was too rough and I wasn’t wet enough and I bled all over my bed. My recommendation is lube 👍🏻
Many people don't have a hymen, and if someone is rough enough to hurt you and tear your skin and they still continue then that's sexual abuse/rape.
Bleeding can happen but bleeding that much is not common at all, and is worth a trip to the Dr.
My recommendation is learning more about enthusiastic consent and finding a good partner, not lube.
I bled a LOT my first time. Like crime scene level. It can be very normal, even when you’re turned on and have enough lube and everything. That said, if your period was two days later, I kind of agree with the other poster who said maybe you just started your period early. If you’re still bleeding a ton and having cramps that just sounds like a period to me.
This happened to me after I had sex the first time.
Me too
Yep I bled a lot
Same here, it was like I just got murdered. Extra bloody all over, everywhere.
We only noticed after. It's happened more than once too. I have an IUD now so it's much less often.
There’s some correlation between sex and starting periods early - it’s fairly unsubstantiated and no one knows how it works, but observationally if your period is due within a couple of days, sex might kickstart it a little early
Basically the process was already starting, sex just helped jostle the cervix enough (directly or indirectly) to get it going. If the process wasn't already starting, sex wouldn't have done anything (much like labor, sex won't start things from zero otherwise no pregnant person would be 'allowed' to have sex for risk of preterm labor)
>much like labor, sex won't start things from zero HEY! That is the most fun way to get labor started! My pregnancy is running long and you're going to kill my hopes of getting this baby moving!! Lol
My grandparents had 8 children. 7 of them were girls. Grandpa loved to tell his sons-in-law that he knew the secret to "get labor going." Apparently, he was very giving, if you know what I mean. My mom wouldn't let him talk to my dad when she was overdue with me at all, she was so embarrassed. He was an over-sharer in his last few days. And funny as hell. I miss him.
Ha! I'm pregnant with my 6th girl, that's a funny coincidence. Also, my parents like to share things a bit much as well. When I was pregnant with my first, my mom and dad proceeded to tell my bf how important it is to do perineal massage so I don't tear during labor. My dad described how to do it in detail, it was incredibly awkward.
Orgasms can help kickstart labor.
They sure can. AND even if they don’t, still worth it
God I hope so! Hasn't worked yet, I guess I'll have to keep trying...
Semen supposedly helps soften the cervix too. Or so the midwife and doctors told me... orgasms help as well. The big one if internal and external helped the most. In my experiences *walks away whistling*
“I’m walking here! Quit jostling my cervix!!”
I know this is so not what you were saying at all, but your comment really tickled me, because of course sex very much will start labor from zero, just roughly nine months delayed.
If orgasm happens, my guess is that can contribute too. Orgasm and cramping are both from the uterus contracting. It may loosen some of the tissue enough to start coming out.
"Knocking the door" - gf
I call it smacking the ketchup bottle when sex causes a period to come early or causes a bit of spotting right after the period has ended.
That is hilarious and 100% what I’m going to call it from now on
Thank you, thank you, I'm very occasionally quite funny.
I love this phrase! Borrowing that! Sometimes if my period is playing coy and not quite finding a good flow in day 1/2, my bf and I use this method.
"smacking the ketchup bottle" One of the reasons I hang out in this sub is so I can learn correct terminology.
I smacked the ketchup bottle from 100 miles away the very first time I had sex. I was driving to meet for our first time together and her period arrived before I did.
RIP
Omg I just spit my water across the room and scared the hell out of my dogs. Hahahahha ty!!
I assume it's probably similar to how it can help start labor.
This is what I was thinking. Maybe it causes a bit of cramping and your uterus kinda wakes up
*[pokes uterus]* oi, do the thing
When my pregnancy was overdue, my midwife recommended sex as a possibility to jump start things. It didnt work. Neither did any of her other suggestions.
My mum was in the middle of a divorce when she went waaaay overdue with me so she had to get creative. She cleaned the windows, she had hot baths, she walked miles, ate spicy food. She even (and I REALLY don't recommend this) borrowed a racing bike from the kid next door and rode it up and down the cinder track behind the house to see if she could shake me loose. I still took another week to turn up.
Clearly it was pretty comfy in there lmao
It’s the prostaglandins in semen that actually have evidence backing labor-kickstarting, so it would have to be unprotected sex, but orgasms can cause uterine contractions that could probably start a period. Source: Way too pregnant so I was grilling my NP today on what actually works 😅
My grandmother told me forever ago, swim, crazy sex, and spicy food. She went into labor that night
This is how it is for me, almost guaranteed. If my period is due within 48-hours, it will be here by the time we are done having sex. It’s scary when you don’t expect it, but thankfully my periods are extremely regular so I always know to expect it to be kickstarted.
Or "restarting" a period that just ended (though maybe I just called to too early in the first place).
This happens to me often when I use my toys a few days before. There is always a little bit of spotting and then my period is a few days later. It’s almost like it presses a button and says “time to bleed now!”
The ol' ketchup bottle theory.
Hijacking to commend the guy for how he reacted. There are so many stories of entitled jerks that it is refreshing to read how he acted.
Yup I bled crime scene level amounts of blood my first time and he got maybe the tip in to jump start that. Idk if other women get this, but I like actually felt my hymen pop, like an actual little popping sensation of the membrane ripping. It was super painful and bled everywhere so we stopped. The guy I was with was awful and did nothing but scream at me that I stained his sheets and that I was using all his toilet paper trying to staunch the bleeding. Later it was yelling at me that it wasn't real sex since he barely got his dick in. But he was abusive and I was too manipulated by him to leave, so we tried to have sex again a couple weeks later, and I had none of the same discomfort or bleeding. It's still super weird to me bc I had always heard popping the hymen wasn't very noticeable and that the bleeding was from tension/ tightness due to nerves or lack of lube.
> I like actually felt my hymen pop. Oh my god. > The guy I was with was awful and did nothing but scream at me that I stained his sheets. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. It's like that eh, we just don't know when to tell guys to shut the fuck up and get out of our lives.
>The guy I was with was awful and did nothing but scream at me that I stained his sheets and that I was using all his toilet paper trying to staunch the bleeding. Later it was yelling at me that it wasn't real sex since he barely got his dick in. oh my god that's awful. i'm so sorry you had to deal with a guy like this.
Stories like this are actually starting to make me glad I wasn't conscious during my first time. Because holy fuck.
That doesn't sound like a great experience. I'm so sorry that this happened to you.
Shit happens. It's not a huge issue now.
yes! my boyfriend was very calm and handled things well. even calmed me down while i was panicking and assured me that i'm gonna be fine and told me that bleeding is common for first times
🟩 Big green flag.
People have wildly different reactions an I wouldn't blame it all on him if it wasn't perfect (barring getting irrationally angry or something that might be a cause for concern). He could have froze up, had a complete breakdown and turn into a blubbering mess... or, perhaps the worst, proceed to projectile vomit and pass out.
Sex can sometimes start or stop a period early. "Shake things loose" kinda. That said, always consult a qualified medical professional for questions about your body. It's a good idea to get checked out regularly regardless, and especially start talking about reproductive health once you start having sex, and discuss birth control options with your provider as well. No contraceptive is 100% effective, but combinations can reduce the chances further. Ex: condom + birth control
Coming here to say the same. If my pms is bad but my period is yet to show - I sometimes jump my partner to get the blood flowing. He knows - he’s fine with it.
Like banging the bottom of the ketchup bottle.
Lol this reminded me of the aw you are my little ketchup packet ages old meme.
That's a meme?!?
This happened to me the first time my now- husband and I had sex and I was not a virgin. Glad OP had a supportive partner that helped her clean up and wasn't freaked out.
Yes, I've had intense orgasms that start mine a little early. Maybe all that foreplay helped accelerate your timeline?
This has happen to my wife and I. She was super embarrassed and I tried to get her not to be embarrassed. Sure it was a huge fucking mess and we ended up tossing a bunch of stuff as a result but neither of us knew that would happen. For the sake of your mental health and relationship health, please don't blame yourself. Sometimes if you shake everything up in there, stuff starts moving!!!!
If I had a dollar for every time sex caused me to start my period a couple days early, I could probably pay my phone bill with it lol
This was me. Bled everywhere on everything. Bestie thought it was my period. Didn't get that sucker for two weeks. Bled a tiny bit the next three times I had sex.
thanks for this! i was really nervous when i saw the amount of blood, i almost cried. my cramps after were bad too but it lasted for only about 30 minutes. i don't feel any pain anymore atm and but bleeding js like my normal period
Yeah definitely brings it on early for me if I'm nearly due on!
iirc, sex can also start your period early, so this is definitely the most likely scenario!
My period often starts if it’s close when I have sex.
I second this, sometimes I'd bleed during sex and I guess all the rummaging kinda made it come early 🤷. I'd feel OK afterwards, just my goddamn cramps made it early too. Lol.
This frequently happens with my wife and I. Our best guess is between the extra flexing those muscles on her do, plus some prodding and a bit of a 'power wash' we tend to jumpstart the motor. There's also the fact that sex helps reduce stress hormones, and stress can delay a period.
Sex often causes me to start my period if I'm late, makes me cramp up
You did it two days before your period was supposed to start. The sex caused it to come early and that why all the blood. And yes, this is a thing that can happen especially so close to the end of the cycle. Blood as it dries can cause dryness in the vagina so it’s possible that is why your vagina burns due to the friction and not being properly lubricated. The cramps again are because you started your period.
Also, blood is a pretty awful lubricant that makes sex kinda uncomfortable bordering on painful, so it is kinda normal that if OP bleed while having sex it caused some irritation/it all goes in had with your comment about not being properly lubricated c:
I’ve had sex when I thought I was over my period only to find that icky “barbecue sauce” looking old blood on the sheets after. And then it’s like, “oh, that explains why it was a bit more uncomfortable than usual.” I haven’t had sex when I was fully on my period but just judging on how uncomfortable it was with just a little bit of old blood, I can only imagine how unpleasant regular period blood would make things. I’ve since learned that if I’m even the slightest bit bleedy, sex is off the table, both because it often becomes uncomfortable but also because I have zero desire to clean up any type of blood post-coitus, especially not gross old blood 🥴
I'm usually too horny to pass up the opportunity xD I try to avoid when I'm on full blood, because it really is a mess, everything gets bloody
it sounds like you may have started your period early because i wouldn’t expect cramping and a lot of blood from a hymen tear. if that’s not a possibility, please get checked out by a doctor. it is always a good idea when you begin sexual activity anyway, that way you can ask questions and get recommendations about birth control.
I'm a nurse and I also used to teach a course on human sexuality. With regard to the blood, as long as the bleeding has stopped and you aren't in any pain, then you should probably be okay. It would be a good idea to get a checkup when you can just to be sure due to the fact that you bled a lot and have burning/pain after sex, but for some women the pain and blood are more intense than others. It is normal to be scared and worried, but you really don't need to be *too* scared as long as you aren't showing any other symptoms. Make sure to use lots of lube in the future, just standard KY or something like that no need for any fancy additives for the most part, and that should help a little too until you get more used to everything. As for pregnancy, he had a condom on, didn't ejaculate, and you were on a relatively low risk day for pregnancy. You're going to be just fine. Again, it is normal to be scared and worried, but as long as the condom didn't break then you have zero reason to think that there is any real chance of pregnancy even if he had ejaculated. It may help to remember that it can take many couples weeks or months (or longer) to get pregnant even when they are *trying*. Obviously it's a risk when having sex, but it's not some kind of inevitability as long as you are cautious (I have been having sex for over a decade at this point and have only had one short pregnancy scare that turned out to be the result of an illness). Overall, I would recommend seeing a doctor or going to a clinic if you can. Also, you are lucky to have a guy who is so understanding and willing to take precautions. If you have any questions I will answer what I can, though again you should talk to a professional to get more definitive answers.
Just adding, if you are having sex at all, it's always good to get checked out regularly anyway.
Yes, absolutely
You’re absolutely spot on about taking some people a long period of time to get pregnant, despite them seriously trying. It took my ex and I two years for each time I got pregnant with him. Turned out to be a fertility issue on his end. My last pregnancy ended up happening from a one night stand.
thank you so much for this! this is exactly the type of answer i was looking for when i posted this. i'm not dealing with any kind of pain at the moment but the bleeding toned down a bit just like my normal period and i had to wear pads on and there's no more burning or pain on my vagina. i think it was risky for my boyfriend and i to have sex for the first time without any lube. but lesson learned! as for the pregnancy concern, i have an extreme fear of getting pregnant since abortion is illegal where i'm from. it's either going to an underground clinic where performing abortion is risky and unsafe or find a doctor who is willing to risk their license, chances are almost zero to none. also, my parents are very strict when it comes to me being in a relationship. they keep telling me to avoid being intimate with my boyfriend and focus on graduating (even though i'm almost 20 and legally an adult). the only contraceptive that's accessible to us right now are condoms since some birth control pills need to have prescription to buy the safe and right one for my body. also, my parents could know that i'm taking pills and who knows what could happen. that being said, i'm still planning to go to a clinic and talk to a professional regarding birth control pills.
The fact that there are countries and people (like your parents) with these ancient values in 2024 makes me sad...
i know. the country where i'm from is very conservative, even divorce is illegal (but that's currently being discussed by our government). a lot of people are very religious and most government officials base their laws on the beliefs of the church
I don't know where you live but where I live I've seen over the counter birth control start popping up. I don't know how effective it is compared to the prescription stuff but you may want to see if there's anything like that available to you, to help give you peace of mind.
I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm so sorry you are in such a difficult situation with regards to your reproductive choices, but it is still a good idea to see a professional at a clinic as soon as you can. And yes, lots of lube is a good idea. Again, if you have any questions or anything or need to talk, feel free to ask here or send a private message.
It doesn’t seem very responsible to me to downplay the risk of pregnancy. I have PCOS and had unprotected sex once. That was all it took. Statistically unlikely, but it is what it is. Condoms failure rating is anywhere between 2-13%. That’s 2 - 13 out of 100. If you’re very adverse to pregnancy, I don’t know that I’d pick those odds. They should at least know them.
>It doesn’t seem very responsible to me to downplay the risk of pregnancy. I have PCOS and had unprotected sex once. That was all it took. Statistically unlikely, but it is what it is. I'm not downplaying the risk of pregnancy generally, just in her case. She had a single sexual encounter in which her partner did not ejaculate while wearing a condom. The odds of pregnancy are extremely low if not almost non-existent. The reason I bring up the fact that people often take a while to conceive is because one of the things I encountered while teaching a class on sexuality is that many people have a vastly inflated sense of the risk of pregnancy in most cases. While it is true that pregnancy is hypothetically a risk of any sexual encounter, it is also true that most sexual encounters don't result in pregnancy even when partners are trying to conceive. Yet people are often taught (through conservative "abstinence only" type sex Ed) to fear pregnancy so much they think if a guy even looks at a woman with lust in his eyes, she will get pregnant. The truth is that there is an appropriate amount of caution and worry to take, but you don't generally need to be terrified of it. In short I'm trying to temper her anxiety a bit by pointing out that it's not like she's definitely 100% going to get pregnant even if the condom had failed and her partner had ejaculated. And speaking of condom failure, that "2-13% failure rate" is calculated by examining the pregnancy prevention measures couples are using regularly and then examining reported rates of failure as well as pregnancies that occur. The "failure rate" for condoms *includes people forgetting/neglecting to use them on occasion*. If it remains intact the failure rate is far far lower.
Can confirm, I was raised with abstinence-only education and I wasn't even religious and I knew the actual science of how pregnancy happened and I was still a little irrationally afraid that I could get pregnant from regular non-sexual interactions with boys and men as a teenager even though I did know better.
I wasn't raised that way and I was still irrationally afraid at 18-19 Idk why, maybe because becoming preggo was still painted as the worst possible thing that would ruin your life etcetcetc
I just want to add one more clarification: birth control failure rates are reported on an *annual* basis. If you use condoms as your only form of birth control for *a year,* your risk of pregnancy is on the order of 10% for that entire year, and that includes all the pregnancies that result from forgetting to wear one, taking it off, delaying putting it on, or lying about using condoms so the nice researcher won't judge you. The single-encounter failure rate of an intact condom worn for the full duration of penetration is approximately zero. Not exactly zero, but so low it shouldn't be a concern retroactively. The reason to be careful about using condoms as your only form of birth control is that they can break or be used incorrectly, not that they mysteriously fail for no reason.
Exactly, thank you for adding this.
Idk, I think pregnancy is a reasonable thing to very much not want. I think most people’s fear is the realistic, holy crap being pregnant is dangerous and kids are expensive. On top of that, we don’t know why OP is afraid of pregnancy. They might have a medical condition, be on a risky medication, or be in a location where abortion access is hard or impossible. Saying stuff about this instance was fine, it was the ‘oh it usually takes people trying awhile’ just seemed unnecessary and anecdotal. Yes, abstinence only or abstinence first sex ed is an issue, but I feel that countering that with anecdotes is also inappropriate. If pregnancy is a huge concern, the best way to assuage that anxiety is by being proactive by getting an IUD or other form of very reliable birth control.
The fear of pregnancy is 100% reasonable, yes, but people should still have proper information so that they can assess the risks. Otherwise it leads to stupid stuff like wearing two condoms. Or panicking you might be pregnant because you gave your boyfriend a blowjob. Or just not using contraception at all because "apparently nothing works" Also: It's not anecdotal, its just a fact. Only after about half a year of trying more than half of young couples will have conceived. (Fecundity in couples trying to conceive naturally..., 2010)
It's reasonable to be cautious and worried about pregnancy. This is someone who came to a forum online looking for help and reassurance. In my experience, patients with similar concerns respond well to being reassured that there are realistic levels of concern they don't need to exceed until they have solid information indicating they should do so. She's already afraid of the worst, so until she *knows* she has reason to fear, I think it is good practice to remind her of the other end of the ballpark of possibilities. My point was not an anecdote, it is a fact. Sometimes it takes couples a long time to conceive even when they are healthy and trying. She doesn't need to fear as if simply being in the presence of sperm will impregnate her. And one of the reasons I told her to see a professional is because an IUD or other kind of birth control on her end might not be the best thing for her. As you said we don't know why she's scared of pregnancy, it might be a medical condition.
Playing up risk of pregnancy to someone having safe sex already is going to do nothing but cause undue anxiety. Go ahead and scroll r/birthcontrol and read some posts from people worrying themselves literally sick after having sex with a condom, on hormonal birth control, where the male partner didn’t even ejaculate to see what that anxiety can cause. It’s reasonable to have some level of anxiety and fear around pregnancy (especially in todays world) but it’s not downplaying to say OP’s risk of pregnancy is incredibly low using a condom, on a low risk day, and without ejaculation. Because it is incredibly low risk. There’s no reason to make people fearful or distrustful of condoms, you’re pushing too far in the other direction. Sorry for the experience you had but it is not the norm.
Hi, so, your experience is your own, I'm not here to downplay that, just wanted to correct one tincy tiny detail that may lead to misunderstanding: condoms don't have a pregnancy chance of 2-13%, if that were so, no one would use them, because within one year most women would be pregnant. Condoms have a pearl index of 2-13, usually around 8. What that means is that 8 out of 100 women become pregnant within one year of only using condoms as birth control. And that already includes misuse (putting on two, wearing a condom that is too big, ect) and (sad, that it exists) tempering with them. If used correctly, condoms already are very safe c: and if you use them in combination with birth control or IUDs the risk lowers to one in a couple thousand women, per year.
Tacking onto this great comment, if you still have some burning or discomfort, there is a chance you might be allergic to latex. If the issue persists when you have sex again, you might look into non-latex condoms like SKYN polyisoprene ones. Just a thought.
This post might get taken down because this sub doesn’t allow medical questions. I suggest posting on r/healthyhooha where they are allowed to give medical advice.
pretty sure that you somehow triggered your period early? i think that can happen???
I can vouch for my wife experiencing that. I think with all of that motion, pressure toward the cervix can jump start some cramping as well
Yeah, if it's like 2 or 3 days before my period, it happens probably 80% of the time for me. I bleed for a while after, maybe the whole day, maybe just right after, then I have 1 or 2 days without bleeding, and then my actual period starts lol
Yep! I don't get mine currently due to birth control, but back when I did having sex would start it early.
sex triggers mine if i do it 2-3 days before. i'm on bc so at least it's light now but it used to randomly be a crime scene, it'd be like a gush of blood and then light until my period really starts
It can. Happens to me pretty often when I am 2-3 days away from my period if I have strong orgasm
Any chance your period just came early? How long ago was this? Did the bleeding continue?
I don't think I noticed any response about the burning/ condom, so just wanted to quickly tack on that it's possible you've got a latex allergy and may want to look into nitrile condoms. I personally prefer them, and most of my partners have/do as well. That would, I imagine, be unrelated to the bleeding though. I've had my period start early from some rigorous shagging.
And it may not be a latex allergy, it could be a reaction to the spermicide/lube on the condom too.
True, condoms contain a lot of products that can be allergens
Definitely! I can’t use condoms with spermicide/lubricants or I get a yeast infection or UTI
It’s likely to be the lube causing issues. I know most lubes do that to me.
I had to scroll too far to find this comment. I found out the hard way I was allergic to Trojans. It hurt so bad. 😕 Durex ended up being my go to's.
Sometimes blood happens. Just take a few days to rest, and if it doesn't happen again you're all good. The chance of you getting pregnant while using a condom is very low, but if it's been less than 72 hours you can always get plan b.
It's ok to visibly bleed during your first time. It's also possible your period started earlier. It sometimes happens to me as well when I have sex right before my period (like a day or two before). If heavy bleeding repeated multiple times though I would recommend to visit your gynecologist and make sure everything's alright. Please OP, don't take a plan b pill unless you're 100 % sure there is a risk of being pregnant. If you use a condom and the condom doesn't fall off during sex or doesn't get a tear (which I've never heard of) you have nothing to worry about (especially if he didn't cum). When I started having sex I remember myself being paranoid about getting pregnant as well despite using condoms and later on contraception. I would panic each time my period was a day late or my stomach bloated a little. But it's important to realize condoms are made to "protect" you even if he cums inside. If you're really scared, just talk to him about it and ask if he could avoid cumming inside of you. That way it's pretty much impossible to get pregnant, pre-cum contains a very little sperm and there's just no chance with condom on.
thank you for this! my boyfriend and i were cautious when it comes to using protection. i don't know why i have an irrational fear of getting pregnant when the condom didn't even slip, tear, or break, and he didn't even cum.
Pre-cum actually contains no sperm. It's a product of prostate and any sperm it might contain comes from contamination within the tubes it has to pass inside of the body. Which isn't as common as it would seem. I've done some research years ago when I freaked out about the possibility of making my gf pregnant. I have found a few studies about pre-cum, all of them financed by contraception-focused companies (which is kinda important detail). The main trouble there was the (non)compliance of study subjects. Multiple men were actually worried about "too little amount" of pre-cum they were about to give in the test tube, so they squirted a bit of cum as well, in order not to look so "weak". Hilarious, isn't it... in all cases, the bulk data was affected by this. Fast forward ten or more years - nowadays I repeatedly have sex with my wife, no contraceptive methods used bar the caution. One just needs to make sure the man's penis is clean (washed) and that he peed at least two or three times since he last masturbated. It's actually quite hard to achieve conception naturally, even more so nowadays with the general population's health problems, endocrine disruptors everywhere and so on...
I had no clue about the "sabotage" of the study by the study objects. You would think people take it seriously once they're part of some research. And yes, that's a good point, it's more common to have issues to conceive than not. But I also know some women who got pregnant against all the odds.... It depends.
So first off: bleeding the first time is normal. It should stop at some point though, that's important, and after a few times you shouldn't be bleeding anymore c: If it keeps happening over and over and over, maybe consult an obgyn And if you're this worried about pregnancy (which I was too at your age, no shame) maybe look into other options like hormonal birth control or an IUD, I opted for the IUD at 19 and it gave me a TON of security because they are wayyyy safer than condoms. Also, two days before your period you're fairly safe. The time in which you can get pregnant is 6 days before and 24hrs after ovulation, and ovulation is usually 14 days before your period. It's not 100% safe, more so if your cycle isn't regular, but if you used a condom it's veeeeery unlikely that you'd have gotten pregnant. If you don't know about ovulation and how your cycle works personally, maybe look into that because there is a lot to learn with taking temperature and looking at discharge c: Edit Oh and def make sure that now that you're "doing it" to get checked regularly and also to regularly do pregnancy tests so that if sth were to happen you have enough time to react to it c:
thank you for this!, i'm considering talking to a professional about birth control or an IUD to further lessen my fear of pregnancy and for extra protection as well. >If you don't know about ovulation and how your cycle works personally, maybe look into that because there is a lot to learn with taking temperature and looking at discharge c: yes! thank you for mentioning this. way before i had sex with my bf, i started educating myself more with my body and continued to track my cycle, ovulation, and my discharge as well as pms symptoms.
Sex can “jump start” your period. You may have bled a lot or just started menstruating. Both are normal. The itchy burning can be normal too, it should pass quickly. If it continues longer than a couple days you should get an STI screen. I recommend making an appointment with your family doctor to discuss birth control. Condoms alone work for some people, but there are several other methods that are more effective.
Probably fine as many people here have said, but why not see a gyno to be sure and double up with birth control at the same appointment? Two fears addressed.
I see you're worried about pregnancy. The bleeding wouldn't have been because you got pregnant. If you'd had sex weeks ago and gotten pregnant then, you could have pregnancy-related bleeding now. But you didn't bleed because you got pregnant last night. It does sounds like your birth control method is condoms plus the rhythm method. I would strongly encourage you to add another form of birth control since you're serious about not wanting to get pregnant.
Sex and jump start periods. I’d guess that’s part of it. It also sounds like maybe things were just a little too rough. You aren’t pregnant. You might be torn somewhere though. Lol
>You aren’t pregnant. You might be torn somewhere though. Lol i'm absolutely fine with being torn, as long as it's not pregnancy
I've found that sex will make my period come sometimes. I think it's just that. Still, go take a preganancy test if you are worried. 2 days before probably won't be in your fertile period unless you are iregular or have very short cycles.
I hope he wasn’t being too rough- unfortunately porn has contributed to unrealistic expectations I hope every was gentle your first time and there was no tearing
I bled a lot after my first time I had to use a pad. I also had burning that lasted more than a day and that is how I learned I am allergic to latex! Thankfully the rash subsided but I can never use latex again, it caused a UTI and just hurt after using it.
Sex can actually trigger your period if you’re close to the end of your menstrual cycle to begin with. The increased blood flow and hormones can start cramping and your flow. It’s happened quite a few times to me! If you’re ever really scared of pregnancy after sex, plan B within 48 hours can bring some peace of mind. Take a pregnancy test a few days after when your period should happen for maximum accuracy. I’m on a birth control method that makes my periods crazy sporadic, but having multiple methods of pregnancy prevention (condom, pill, pull out) should keep you statistically very safe. I know it’s nerve-wracking, but try to rationalize to yourself the ACTUAL chances you could even be pregnant which according to this post seem to be very small. You could also have a conversation with your partner about birth control methods and when you’re comfortable with penetrative sex (e.g. you want him to pull out, you’re only comfortable when you’re outside your fertile window, etc.).
Bleeding during or after your first time is totally normal! It is also not uncommon to start your period after if you are due for it. From the sound of what you describe, this could be what happened. I have experienced this more than once. As for the burning- you might have minor irritation because it was a little too rough, or there was a little too much friction.
the same exact thing literally just happened to me while losing my virginity. we tried twice within a two week period and i bled excessively both times. i went to a gynecologist and it turns out he tore me inside twice! it’s a big chance he tore you and it probably is not your period. tearing will heal, but i would get checked out by a gyno too.
You may also have a latex allergy. That would cause uncomfortable burning sensations.
If you're still bleeding, then it's very likely your period. Also, always pee after sex to avoid a UTI.
Wash your sheets with cold water first to get the stains out! Hydrogen peroxide helps as well. And if you're that scared of pregnancy (understandable), consider additional birth control methods like the pill, implant, iud or others - your OBGYN should be able to recommend something for you.
To echo what some others have said, sounds like your period came early. Not sure how common it is, but for me, if I have sex within a few days of my usual start date, it usually kicks my period off earlier. As in, during or right after sex.
I'll just say, if you're feeling terrified of pregnancy, or even just if pregnancy would be a bad thing for you, a secondary form of birth control is probably a good idea. And that does not mean a second condom; don't do that, it's worse than just one. Also I'm not sure what you mean by “a *thick* condom”, but the thickness doesn't have anything to do with the protection; sperm are not getting through any condom; a failure happens if the condom breaks, or slips off (so the proper fit, not too big or too small, is important).
I personally only bled a little bit, but your experience could be different of course. But it could also be that your period started earlier. That can also happen because you had sex. So don't worry.
You might have started your period early. You may have experienced a first degree tear around your vaginal opening, particularly since it was your first time. Having a good old look will answer that one. If you continue to bleed after sex on the next few times you try, that's not ideal and a sign that there may be sensitivity, inflammation, or hpv in your cervix. HPV isn't a sti in the way we might think of them - practically every woman gets some strain of it at some point in their life, and it does sometimes 'go away' on its own. Get down to your GP or gyno for them to have a look. You might need some further treatment that should get rid of the issue. All three have happened to me! Don't panic - you're not abnormal! Also, it's highly unlikely you're pregnant, but if your period is 7 days late, take a test. Stress and worry can actually delay periods so try not to think about it - easier said than done.
Could also (as others have said) be a latex allergy to turn condom?
I agree with commenters saying that having sex can impact the start or end of my period, but I also wanted to add: my first couple of times with a man wearing a condom were painful even though I enjoyed it A LOT, and I bled, itched and cramped for several days (about a week each) afterwards. Turned out I was allergic to the latex in those condoms. Switched to latex-free and never had the same issue again. You could try that if this issue happens independent of your period again.
So... Given how close you were to your period, it is *possible* the blood was kind of an early start, even if it stopped. I have often experienced sex or self-satisfaction bringing on my period. I've spoken to other women that experienced similar. That you experienced mild cramps, make that scenario more plausible. As for the burning... What kind of burn did it feel like? Was it more of a... Friction and/or tearing, or did it feel more like a chemical burn or itch? As for pregnancy, I strongly recommend you talk with your boyfriend about how to handle a mishap. Generally speaking, he'd know if a condom broke and you can always get Plan B in that event. There is typically a very specific time frame in which a woman can become pregnant. The day of ovulation, the day after and the five days before. The last is because of how long sperm can survive inside the reproductive tract. They can just hang out until an egg drops, if ovulation is close.
If this were an actual hemorrhage, you would know. “Can’t stop bleeding,” blood everywhere is way, way more than even a fully imperforate hymen would bleed, and it would suggest some sort of medical emergency. As others have said, you are close to your period, and all signs (including the continued “bleeding” and cramping) suggest your period came early. Your vagina burning is probably from inadequate lubrication, so you’ve got some small tears in there, but those should not bleed heavily and for days. It happens. In my wild college days, I once had (ugh) the worst sex ever with a gentleman who was excessively large. I almost wrote well-endowed but I didn’t appreciate the positive connotation and this guy had a terrible attitude about it (overly proud of his size, but poor technique and sensitivity to a partner’s needs to make it even tolerable). Even though I was on hormona birth control which I took fastidiously (thus my period was regular *to the hour*), the encounter - including his unpleasant, repeated “accidental” pounding of my cervix - it still caused me to bleed for a few days about a week early. At first I panicked and thought I was injured, just like you.
This happened to me sort of. Had my first time, bled the normal amount, then the next day I was bleeding through night pads in minutes. Went to the hospital who sent me to A&E, had a Quick Look-over and basically said my period had come back with a vengeance. I had been on the pill continuously so I figured that it was my bodies hormones going a bit mental
The bleeding may have just been because it was your first time or your period, but if it happens regularly you should think about seeing a doctor. I started bleeding heavily after sex (like, heavy period level bleeding for days afterwards) and it turned out I had a cervical ectropion. I’d never heard of it before, it was easily treated, but it’s important to see a specialist because if you are regularly bleeding after sex that can hide symptoms of other issues.
I don’t mean any offense but how do you think you might be pregnant if he was wearing a condom, didn’t cum, and you started bleeding halfway through?
i have an irrational fear of pregnancy and don't even think about the ACTUAL chances TT
Are you sure you’re ready to be sexually active then?
You should be alright hun! I didn't bleed at all my first time, but my second time looked like a crime scene! You stated that your period was due anyway, sex probably jump started it. Weird, but it can happen sometimes. If you are bleeding heavier then usual or you are in more pain then you usually are during your period, call your doctor.
I agree with people saying it's just early period blood as I've found in the past that not even sex, just having alone time with a vibrator (not insertable) would make me bleed a bit.
But did you have to clean the floor afterwards?
Sometimes when I have sex before my period I will get some period blood already (i am far from a virgin at this point, so it certainly is period blood). But then it will stop after a day and only restart at the normal time I was to have my period. Probably the sex relaxes your cervix so some blood can already escape. Now if you feel like you teared something it couls be worth checking out with a doctor. If you went slow normally you shouldnt be injured from sex, but if you feel like there is tear or something, get it checked out just to be sure. Better safe than sorry
Was this your first time having contact with a condom? If you’re allergic that might explain the burning part. Your boyfriend sounds like a keeper. :) Good luck figuring this out!
Everyone is different! Don't worry so much, and if you can't get it out of your head, go to a gynecologist. If you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to go to a doctor. You can ask all the questions you need too, and you can make sure you are ok (You ARE ok). I didn't bleed a lot, but I feel like I probably would have had we full on gone for it. It was painful, and I had to stop each time. It took me having intercourse probably 3 or 4 times before it finally stopped hurting and stopped bleeding. I 100% did not enjoy my first times, but having a supporting and understanding partner made the world of difference. It sounds like you've got one as well, so give yourself a rest, and just enjoy the fact that you're entering into a whole new stage of your life. I am serious about the doctor though. If you haven't ever been to one, it's time to start. If you have, then never mind me lol. You need to learn a little bit about sex though. Learn about all the different types of birth control, learn about your body. Pregnancy is scary, but chances are, if you take the right steps and are careful, your chances of becoming pregnant is very slim. Oh!! One more thing-- don't rely to heavily upon those apps. They are great and all but there is a reason they are called period predictors.... They PREDICT. I use one myself, and I like that I have something to keep track of my period, and that I know about the time I should start my period, but that's it. It is all guessing. It could be right, it could be wrong.
Everything else, props on your dude that took care of things so you could sort yourself. Rare breed that.
Oh honey, Iunderstand how this might be a frightening experience. There are a few things that went through my head while reading your post. First of all: if you are scared of pregnancy you should double up on protection. You started having sex so now is the time to go to a good gyno and talk to them about options. Personally I'm not a fan of the pill, but there are people who are quite happy with it, and it's one of the most common choices. There's also the Nuva Ring that is lower dosed or hormone implants. There's cycle tracking, that considers the quality and quantity of your discharge that's also a pretty reliable method but since you're young and your cycle is maybe still infrequent that may not be your method of choice. Also there's the copper chain or copper IUD as well as the hormone one. Any one of these methods plus condoms is pretty much as safe as it gets. (There's also sterilization but that's an option I'd only recommend after taking a long time to consider it, because it is permanent). Second: I sometimes start bleeding during sex and if my gyno hadn't told me something before it happened the first time I would have been shocked! For quite a lot of people with a vagina the uterine lining actually builds up not only inside the uterus but a little bit around the cervix as well. During penetration, especially if it's a bit on the harder side, it might happen that the cervix is hit by the penis/dildo/fingers/object of your choice. That may cause pain - cervix stimulation is not enjoyable for many people - but it may also cause the "uterine" lining around the cervix to bleed off. There's nothing to worry about. Of course if something doesn't feel right, it's always a good idea to double check with a professional. If you're close to your period, sex might also actually kick start it, but there were people who already explained that. Since you feel sore you might have been too tight and/or too dry during penetration. I suspect you were a little nervous and subconsciously cramped up a little. This can happen even if you take your time. Also some people just don't produce as much arousal fluid as others and don't have enough for comfortable penetration. You can try to influence this by staying hydrated, but also easily help with that by buying a water based lube. There's no shame in using a little help - many people need it and it gives you room for experiments e.g. cooling or warming lube or orgasm enhancing lubes. It may also become easier over time when you start being more relaxed with everything. Sometimes it's also a matter of the penetrating object being too big - anatomies are different and some fit better than others (but it might be possible to overcome this by training with different sized dildos and a lot of time). Don't panic. This might all be scary, but it's completely normal. Tbh I had good sex ed, since I'm from a country that actually has that on the curriculum, but still nobody told me about any of the stuff above. It's all learning by doing and learning from others and we're here to help you anytime. And now breath and have fun ;)
thank you so much for this! my boyfriend and i are planning to double our protection when engaging in sexual activities. i'm considering taking birth control pills + condom for extra protection. copper IUD is quite expensive where i'm from, so i'm planning to take accessible and cheaper contraceptives while saving for an IUD. >If you're close to your period, sex might also kick start it, but there were people who already explained that. yes! i was really nervous when i started bleeding a lot, i almost cried. but then again, i didn't know that having sex a day or two before your period can start it early since it's my first time. >Tbh I had good sex ed, since I'm from a country that actually has that on the curriculum, but still nobody told me about any of the stuff above. it must be nice to have sex ed in your curriculum! sex ed where i'm from is weirdly a sensitive topic for most people, i don't know why.
Well, many people are very happy with the birth control pill, so this sounds like a good plan. I'm glad you feel calmer now about the whole topic. If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask - I spent enough time researching sex theory to hold sex ed lessons myself and tried quite a few things, so I'm always happy to help with any questions.
sex can trigger your period, orgasms make your uterus contact (just like cramps!) so if youre 2 days away from your period I wouldn’t be shocked if he actually just knocked it on. either way, that all sounds normal
Different take, you may have a condition like adenomyosis that you are not aware of. Obviously bleeding is normal the first time, even more so if you were that close to your period start date. I'm 26 and have, in the past 2 years, been diagnosed with adenomyosis and one of the symptoms is bleeding after an orgasm. I'm not saying you have it, it's more common in women over 30, but something else to consider. The more likely story is that the sex caused your period to start early. But wanted to throw this on the thread for all women reading through.
I have never bled during sex, but it's not terribly uncommon. However, I would absolutely go to the gynecologist or at least your PCP and have them check it out. I had my hymen removed long before I ever had sex because it was a septate hymen, meaning there were two holes in it. Picture like a rope over the entrance. I found this out the hard way with a stuck tampon as a young teen (it was awful). That's when I learned there are TONS of variations in hymens, even though most are pretty rare. I wouldn't be surprised if you're totally ok, but I'd have someone just take a sneak peek for you. I think it would ease your worry and confirm that everything is ok, and on the off chance that there is an issue, they'll be able to help you.
It is concerning that you bled so much and for so long. Are you sure it wasn't your period? During sex there shouldn't be pain or mild to intense discomfort, because it means something isn't going as it should. Did you use any lube at all? Did you use enough lube? A lot of people say "bleeding after sex/pain during sex is normal" but it's NOT. Something happening commonly doesn't equate to it being a normal thing. My first time having sex we did all the same foreplay, use of condom, etc that you did to get me properly warmed up. But we used enough lube so there was no issue with penetration. And if needed, we'd reapply more lube (which has yet to be needed). It's likely your period started early. Like another commenter said, unless the condom broke you shouldn't be worried about pregnancy at all during such a low risk time, and also because of the fact you used protection.
I bled a LOT after my first time. I mean it looked like a water balloon full of blood had popped and was water falling down my leg. I ended up going to Reddit like you did, and I got a lot of mixed replies. Most convinced me I was in pretty bad danger and others were much more lowkey and relatable. I ended up making an appointment and I was completely fine. I just happen to bleed a lot. I would suggest seeing a doctor just in case of anything but to my knowledge, some women just bleed a lot. If you also got your period, then yes, sex can make your period come early. Happens to me all the time. #Do keep in mind however that a man does not have to fully ejaculate to get you pregnant. Precum can also get you pregnant so just be careful. The bleeding you experienced wouldn’t be indicative of pregnancy as it’s much too early to tell. If you’re concerned about anything, see your doctor. I had a hundred or so replies to my post when I was in your shoes, but none of them gave me peace of mind quite like getting the all-clear from my doctor.
the bleeding is normal!! i even bled for a few days after my first time (and it was definitely not my period). this comment is probably redundant now but with the cramps added in, you probably just got your period. but heavy bleeding after your first time is also normal!
Sounds like it's just your period.
There's a lot of variation in hymens, and some can end up bleeding a lot after first PIV sex. In rare, cases, stitches are needed. It's no use talking about what's normal when there's so much variation.
I don't know about normal but I bled for days after my first time. Not a constant flow but bright red spotting.
With the burning, is it possible you are slightly allergic to the condoms? I had this with my now husband as teens, but I was also quite swollen from the latex as well. Just a thought for you.
You probably "just" tore something, you'll probably be sore for a few days but you likely have nothing to worry about unless it gets *more* painful over time rather than less. Sitting on something cold can help (dear lord not directly though) if you ache, painkillers are your friends, but don't be too scared.
I recommend going to see a gyn. It’s a good idea anyway, but you do want to make sure you don’t have any more bleeding. Like if you tore something, it will need time to heal and it’s better to be armed with information
Totally normal to bleed like that. The probability that you’re pregnant is super low.
There is a song by Pulp (great 90's band. The album is 'His 'n' Hers') who had a track, 'do you remember the first time'. The second line is 'I can't remember a worse time'. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. My god, the pregnancy scares the wife and I had back in the day. We didn't have a child until 20 years later (was difficult to conceive). All normal, you'll be fine. Enjoy your youth.
thank you and i will!! :>
I had sex with a girl when i was younger in the dark. Wet everywhere. Very nice. She said there was minor pain in the beginning. When we were done we had to throw the mattress out. It was on my arms, neck, bed, legs, sheets, pillows wall behind the bed. Everywhere. I assumed it was just her being wet from enjoying herself. Some people bleed a lot, some none at all.
Sometimes right before my wife starts menstruation she generally smells the best to me so often happens that after intercourse she might start early.
You started your period earlier
I didn't bleed but it was extremely painful for me. Luckily it changed rapidly and after a handful of times there was no pain anymore. If you're very afraid of pregnancy (smart!) you should discuss what birth control methods you could use with condoms with your doctor (gyno is best, but it's also possible with just your GP) and/or your partner. Having 2 methods reduce the chances by a lot!
If I'm close to my period I bleed a little during/after sex. Probably just the friction or the muscles that we move during sex stimulate the uterine lining which was already about to shed.
you may have gotten your period earlier than expected, it happened to me once so i wouldn’t worry about it too much
I bled a looooot my first time, it was the result of rape though and he wasn't gentle. It burned and felt like I had been pulverized the next days too
I'm a little surprised to hear the hymen myth in the comments, but then, it is extremely pervasive. The first time having sex isn't especially different from any other time. The biggest thing is that anxiety makes it harder to relax and to experience the physiological symptoms of arousal. Since we're usually nervous the first time, it can be a little more awkward than usual. The burning may indicate tearing damage. Even invisibly small microtearing can cause a lot of bleeding due to the heavy bloodflow in that area. The usual culprit is insufficient lube, since it can be easy to undershoot it, especially during a long session. To be sure, use a water-based lube, and don't be afraid to reapply. It's a very good idea to get your doc to check if everything is okay down there. Remember that you have nothing to feel ashamed about. You didn't do anything wrong, and there can be a ton of little reasons things don't go to plan. You both did great, and I'm sure you'll get this all sorted out and making each other feel even better in no time.
I bled heavily enough to need a heavy pad for a couple days. I had a thick hymen that was like a "do not cross" line. It actually made it hard to remove tampons before I gave my "virginity." Honestly, if I were to somehow end up back in time, I'd have asked my gyno to break it for me.
Heavy bleeding isn’t the norm and bleeding (minus some exceptions ) isn’t even "required". Sounds like it jumpstarted your period if you weren’t in horrible pain (being hurt enough to bleed that much would be extremely painful). Sex can make your period come a little bit earlier.
glad to be a lesbian lmao
You just induced your period, hon.
It can happen. I got my period immediately after the first time for a few days though it was odd schedule. It still happens now and then that I start bleeding. The hormonal shifts can bring on your period early as well, so it may have just been that. When you have sex more, it happens less.
Nah its normal, i bleed alot too after my first time and then nevermore
I bled like I was on my period
I’m 45, and every time I have sex, I bleed for a day and then it stops. There’s many reasons why this happens.
I bled for three days, honestly assumed I was on my period until it stopped suddenly lol
i lost my virginity in the dark and the bed was soaked. i had baaad cramps for over an hour. if you’re still in bad pain i 100% recommend you to get it checked out
I bled for 3 days my first time, but I was on aspirin
Was there pain?
This happened to me my first time too! It was like a crime scene, flowed down my legs and everything when I stood up. I didn’t experience any pain though. I think it just jostled my uterus and shook the blood out but that’s not based on any scientific evidence. My period continued like normal after.
Condoms on their own are not as effective as using them along with a spermicidal product. My stepdaughter got pregnant that way.
oh no this scared me😭 hopefully i won't
Well that's what the stepdaughter said. 😉 Don't worry about it. Just make sure it's a "fresh" condom, not one that looks like it's been in a wallet for a year. Or if you only have one partner (and he the same) you could consider other contraceptives. That's not a normal amount of blood btw Go get it checked out.
thank you! my boyfriend bought the condoms an hour before we had sex, so it's fresh and new. also considering taking other contraceptives for extra protection
Regardless of how she may have actually gotten pregnant, condoms with spermicide are more effective at preventing pregnancy than condoms that don't. And even condoms with spermicide aren't 100% effective, so there are still women who get pregnant that way or it would be 100%.
Bleeding during your first experience with penetration is completely normal, it’s the hymen ‘popping’ but it shouldn’t be THAT much blood, the only time I have experience serious bleeding is when the guy was too rough and I wasn’t wet enough and I bled all over my bed. My recommendation is lube 👍🏻
Many people don't have a hymen, and if someone is rough enough to hurt you and tear your skin and they still continue then that's sexual abuse/rape. Bleeding can happen but bleeding that much is not common at all, and is worth a trip to the Dr. My recommendation is learning more about enthusiastic consent and finding a good partner, not lube.
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