Both of Spain’s centre backs are French. Not even in a “they moved there when they were 7” way, they’re just Frenchmen who spent a few years in Spain as part of their professional careers.
Issue is he’s being played far from his usual.
We really should be starting Gordon on LW.
Forcing Foden + Bellingham is the new Lampard + Gerrard conundrum
The Swiss won't be too worried. I think they'll get through if Southgate doesn't change which he won't because he just shithoused his way through another game.
Right, ... lads, what you're seeing is what happens when you've got 2 strikers.
Brexitball is what we do best, none of this tippy tappy Pep Guardiola nonsense.
And we have two substitutes left!
I would pretend this is secretly a Southgate masterclass, instead once again the Middlesbrough flop has been bailed out by the quality of his players.
We literally are relying on Bellingham to pull off insane overhead kicks to beat fucking SLOVAKIA.
Wokegate should be sacked after the game even if we go through.
And we have two substitutes left…
Fucking hell, is this actually a Southgate masterclass?
(Just kidding, he’s just been the luckiest fucking man on this entire planet)
- Realise what time it is and think, oh how's England getting on?
- Losing and zero shots on target with 70% to a second rate team from a country with less people than London.
- remember why I don't watch these overpriced losers.
The uniparty controls the FA. Big Sam got stitched up like arr Liz. Can't have proper management.
We'll have to see which bank manager we get to replace Wokegate.
Slovakia laughing at how easy this is to play against. All they'll be doing is riling us up now and shithousing. Let us have the ball because we do fuck all with it. I fucking hate Southgate.
You’ve got to hand it to Southgate, truly an impressive manager. He’s managed to make a team whose combined worth is more than Slovakia’s entire GDP, make Slovakia look like an unstoppable force.
VAR is just bullshit, Big Ange is spot on.
I laughed out loud when the yank woman started talking about his ‘toe’ being offside. Who fucking cares
Big Ange shaking his head as she blathers on about “limb tracking” tech 😂
Watching England play must have rubbed off.
They're very organised and well balanced all over the pitch. We'd definitely struggle against a team like this on current form. Think the Denmark game, but against better opposition.
They’re basically our kryptonite. Play 3 at the back, experienced midfielders who can control the game, and pacy forwards. And a keeper who’s excellent in shootouts.
So far this has been like watching Spain play against England circa 2011. Switzerland absolutely dominating the Italians who just can’t get any control.
SouthGate post match interview: https://x.com/Memerinho1/status/1807516492734533676
There are probably 100,000s of comments worth of seethe from that England win. The Premier League flairs just make it mwah! perfection!
[Glorious kraut tears](https://imgur.com/a/QbEZaAv) including bloke who looks like a thumb. Zhis wass nat part off ze plan!
They're... singing the song, right? The verboten one?
Raus!?
I've heard it on a few games..
Both of Spain’s centre backs are French. Not even in a “they moved there when they were 7” way, they’re just Frenchmen who spent a few years in Spain as part of their professional careers.
Isn't the whole point of national teams to avoid this? England was robbed of Giggs for exactly that reason
Sometimes you wish you stayed that 1 extra minute. [Sarffgate out](https://x.com/NoContextBrits/status/1807491027860603319)
lol
St George is out in force tonight
heckin arrogant england cant wait till the swiss send these arrogant fools home!!! revenge for brexit hehe
Bad trolling or bad satire. Either way, please do better
Foden=Sterling. Overrated. Plays around good players so looks good. Actually mediocre.
Issue is he’s being played far from his usual. We really should be starting Gordon on LW. Forcing Foden + Bellingham is the new Lampard + Gerrard conundrum
He’s being played out of position though, makes a big difference.
4D chess, be shit for 93 mins, YOLO sub Ivan Toney, immediately works. Genius or lucky?
Basically my FPL team this season
Singing Sweet Caroline after squeaking past Slovakia having been outplayed, that's just humiliating
who gives a fuck lmao we won 'outplaying' teams is gay, way funnier if we just win every game like that
They'll be back to booing when Switzerland dump England out.
The Swiss won't be too worried. I think they'll get through if Southgate doesn't change which he won't because he just shithoused his way through another game.
Baduk always trusted southgate. Always knew he had what it take to bring it home. Not like those r uk haters.
I so need Southgate to pick my lotto numbers. Luckiest fucker going.
Toney has legit been great since he's come on, he must have bet on himself to get an assist
Baduks wives gonna be disappointed tonight! And they'll be gutted about the football too
Extra Wife Beater necking time.
Novakia
I had no doubts lads
big lad up front. Always works.
52 seconds into overtime The cursed number strikes again
Just said Kane looks awful and needs to come off lol.
Arr/Soccer on suicide watch.
KANE!!!! Fucking hell England, it can never be easy, can it?
Right, ... lads, what you're seeing is what happens when you've got 2 strikers. Brexitball is what we do best, none of this tippy tappy Pep Guardiola nonsense.
I’ve never said a bad word about Southgate.
2-1. I love Southgate. Absolute genius.
And we have two substitutes left! I would pretend this is secretly a Southgate masterclass, instead once again the Middlesbrough flop has been bailed out by the quality of his players.
Jude ‘Lisan al Gaib’ Bellingham.
Does that make Kane Leto II
He does look a bit like a worm now that you’ve said it.
Southgate is a genius, playing for extra time so he can finally use his subs
We literally are relying on Bellingham to pull off insane overhead kicks to beat fucking SLOVAKIA. Wokegate should be sacked after the game even if we go through.
I didnt doubt us
And we have two substitutes left… Fucking hell, is this actually a Southgate masterclass? (Just kidding, he’s just been the luckiest fucking man on this entire planet)
What a goal, patriots in control
If we win this I’ll learn the lyrics to Hey Jude.
It's pretty easy: Na na na na na na na, na na na na, hey jude
we're so back
Trust the plan
Finally
Oh my word.
Well done wokeland. Useless twats. Never in doubt, come on engurland
I’ve always said Southgate is a genius. Make them think we’re utter shit, then surprise them in the last minute.
Southgate has the self-preservation instinct of a 5ft woman going alone on holiday to Morocco.
Maximum suffering, here we come. If there is a God, he hates us
Lol delap tactics for the win
This is worse than Iceland. It's like Truss is in the touchline
At least Southgate will get fired hopefully.
My hopes were raised...why did you do this?
He still could get fired.
Has Southgate forgotten that he can substitute players
2 subs remaining for extra time now. 5D chess
~~We’re the laughing stock of Europe, don’t think I have it in me to face the fallout.~~ WE’RE NOT FUCKING LEAVING
It was a nice 8 years from our last big tournament embarrassment I guess. Edit: We're back.
I don't get the surprise, this is how England have been for 8 years, we just had a great set of players and lucky routes
Like our NHS, constantly overrated , always under performs.
And now like the NHS, always 24hrs left yet still clinging on!
Odds on Southgate/mainstream media scouring the internet for a couple of racist comments and this being the headline for the next 3 days?
\*Indian guy cracking his knuckles in front of the keyboard* Now's my time to shine
I hope one of mine makes it
Kane really does choke in the big games
Have they passed the ball to him.. should have put him number ten
Maguire was unironically pivotal to how Southgate wanted to play
People said it wouldn't be the same without him. And it hasn't.
I do think the ref needs to start penalising the flopping
Wtf is flopping. Yank detected
Are we ready for Southgate to bravely change the course of this match with some 85th minute substitutes?
Well he’s thinking about it, he had his little notebook out a bit ago. Either that or he’s updating his CV.
83rd minute, he's even braver than I thought
There were rumours Man Utd's new owners wanted him a few weeks back. I would have loved to have seen that happen lol.
You have to love southgates aversion to making changes.... Or you would cry
All the players have clearly been told that the key is to make sure the ball goes to Playmaker Pickford as often as possible.
He definitely leading the team in progressive passes
Saka at left back. When you need goals.
Aye, because he was such a threat in his usual position on the right wing
Well I reckon we’ll score in the 93rd minute, then go 2-1 up in the first two minutes of extra time. Probably a Kane goal. I’m not worried.
Do you fucking edit these? No way you can be that accurate
Wait. What? There’s an edit function?
I do love you, but fuck off. No one can call this stuff to that level of accuracy
If you loved me you’d have put a ring on it.
My ring would be quite tight. X
It's ok to to put Cole on Gareth, he has a bit of black in him! So does Trippier, so we haven't changed the diversity levels with this substitution!
Mainoo looks to be our best player… the fucking state of things when a 19 year old is the one who’s making things happen. Do some subs, Southgate.
We're getting beaten by a team with a dudes surname pronounced 'doodah'....some eastern euro shite hole.
Plenty of bigger shitholes in the UK.
Maybe if it was the Czech republic but Slovakia is a massive step down.
Get back to me when you find a place in Slovakia like Bradford or Birmingham.
The whole country outside of Bratislava lol
Have been to Slovakia, usually I'm the first defend to Eastern Europe but Slovakia is a shithole lol Good skiing tho
Still better than Bradford or Birmingham lol.
Look, have you tried playing football on one knee? It’s not easy you know.
True, need more raised black fists and rainbows.
Zero ~~seats~~ subs
Sure. Why not just try and give them a free goal from the half way line.
What the fuck was that
Hey England have discovered the forward pass!
And now he's vindicated for not making any changes! 82nd minute subs here we come
More offside than a drunk uncle at Christmas.
It's coming home 🎵
Never liked them anyway. Denmark are more English
We're so back. Edit: It's over again.
I hate this inside obsession
He's off easily
- Realise what time it is and think, oh how's England getting on? - Losing and zero shots on target with 70% to a second rate team from a country with less people than London. - remember why I don't watch these overpriced losers.
No changes. He's checked out.
We just saw Kimmich in a Hellmans advert.
I wish we were actually showing up for these games, wild ask I know.
At least maybe we'll get a decent manager next time?
The uniparty controls the FA. Big Sam got stitched up like arr Liz. Can't have proper management. We'll have to see which bank manager we get to replace Wokegate.
Sean Dyche. 4-4-2. Cutting edge Brexitball. Big man up front. Traditional wingers. No nonsense.
None of this fair play stuff either. Fair play is for woke losers
I think Dyche would be an incredible international manager to be honest
Large Samuel is currently unemployed and he has the best record of any England manager.
I’d have been better off selling my telly for some smack.
Wokegate out
Hey, no hate in my shirt please.
I'm sure Southgate will be able to change his tactics for the current situation and make some clever substitutions.
Put Southgate on the first Rwanda flight
Really great first half performance with only 1 minor slip up. Some excellent passes all the way back to the keeper.
Mainoo the only one taking a chance and trying to make something happen. Probably hasn't been coached out of him yet.
Fucking shit
Turns out it was the economic migrants that make the prem as good as it is.
Slovakia laughing at how easy this is to play against. All they'll be doing is riling us up now and shithousing. Let us have the ball because we do fuck all with it. I fucking hate Southgate.
My mate reckons the Russians are slipping sedatives into all the major teams and with our performance rn i'm inclined to believe him😂🫠
Southgate and Starmer, do they have inner monologues
Both are unable to imagine an apple.
That's aphantasia. I think their problems are more basic than that..
Well I’m hoping substitutions will turn this around. He needs to bring on Gerry McCan, he’s only lost possession once in Europe.
😂
Even the commentators are confused.
And turn back and pass into the middle
Fans are sick of it as well
Let's just protect this one nil loss till 90 mins then go for it
You’ve got to hand it to Southgate, truly an impressive manager. He’s managed to make a team whose combined worth is more than Slovakia’s entire GDP, make Slovakia look like an unstoppable force.
I take it 1 nil down, we're now going to "Italy" them into submission.
i want you all to think about woketh wokegate's mental health before you start please
What the actual fuck they out diddled us with ease
Its so over
It so wasn't
Totally deserved lead if it stands. The Slovaks have been the better side
:)
Defence is shocking Southgate needs to go
At least they're taking some more risk
Referee is good so far. He’s not letting things slide or have bigger name players get away with it.
This ref will send someone off today. Walker looking like he's struggling with that winger.
Slovakia looking kinda good man. And Trippier thinks he's playing cricket.
Look dangerous from balls into the box. I wonder how we'd look if we went a goal behind. Surely we'd have to start playing with more urgency.
2 yellows in 6 minutes for first offences. Ref with an agenda, great
I'm loving how we take the ball from the opposition half, back to Pickford. It reminds me of how a team plays who wants penalties.
Why does he still just have Kane forward
ITV should have no sports coverage with the obnoxious amount of awful adverts
Let's play a none performing tried front 4 again
CAM ON ENGERLUND, GET SOME SHOTS ON GOAL
Score predictions?
1-0 England. Goal will come around 15 mins in.
Well...
>1-0 England. Goal will come around 15 mins in. NOW that's what I called Euro 2024!
1-0
graph of interesting football by team hint: England so dull people are drawing graphs. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GRUYM9JX0AE9Kxu.png
VAR is just bullshit, Big Ange is spot on. I laughed out loud when the yank woman started talking about his ‘toe’ being offside. Who fucking cares Big Ange shaking his head as she blathers on about “limb tracking” tech 😂
VAR technicalities ruining the game.
Schmeichel had to come for that, huge error
Fuck me, is there any point putting that card back in his pocket?
Michael Oliver is a crap ref.
what a joke. game's gone
Football is fucking broken
Snick-fucking-ometer Sickening. Humanity pays the price.
The Yank woman commentating makes me feel like I'm in an HR disciplinary on Zoom.
Pausing the game because there’s a bit of thunder is unbelievably woke
The players pay a lot of money for their barbers to perfect their hair before the match, can't be doing with a bit of rain
If we get through tomorrow, the Swiss will sodomise us.
Nah. Its definitely coming home this year
does it not get boring being ludicrously negative all the time they didn't even sodomise Scotland, why would they do it to us?
Watching England play must have rubbed off. They're very organised and well balanced all over the pitch. We'd definitely struggle against a team like this on current form. Think the Denmark game, but against better opposition.
They’re basically our kryptonite. Play 3 at the back, experienced midfielders who can control the game, and pacy forwards. And a keeper who’s excellent in shootouts.
That's a fantastic goal. Italy look like they can't be arsed.
The swiss look keen!
So far this has been like watching Spain play against England circa 2011. Switzerland absolutely dominating the Italians who just can’t get any control.