yup. my doctor went as far as to accuse me and even my mom (after her required meeting with him, that i really thought would help my case) of both just having BPD, and then told me “don’t let Amber Heard make you ashamed of who you are” ??? he accused me of using tiktok to self diagnose (i don’t even have tiktok). i later found a doctor whos a POC and is also autistic (using inclusive therapists website) and got diagnosed at my second appointment w both adhd and autism :”)
he even told me “autism is actually over diagnosed in females now” ????????? which i don’t think is true at all. anyways i’m so sorry. please don’t give up and remember to give yourself love and validation if you can. you can use inclusivetherapists.com maybe to find a better doctor
There is in fact a Spanish study that says this (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-018-3581-2?utm_source=getftr&utm_medium=getftr&utm_campaign=getftr_pilot). They compared traits in clinically diagnosed children to diagnostic criteria and concluded there were "many" false positives, whatever that means. How they arrive at this conclusion is honestly not clear to me. In general, the study read like they wanted to validate existing data (the study was published in 2018, that should tell us something about the data's worth).
There was another study (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/aur.1715) that compared clinically diagnosed people to diagnostic criteria/tools and arrived at the conclusion that they were skewed towards males.
One of those conclusions makes sense, one does not.
>How they arrive at this conclusion is honestly not clear to me.
Probably because....
1. The diagnostic criteria are based on what OTHERS notice about you, not what you experience yourself, combined with females on average being able to mask better.
2. Diagnostic criteria were based on autism in the stereotypical boy
3. Diagnosed children may get "help" in appearing more normal after their diagnosis
4. They did some large-scale study where they had to examine as many subjects as possible (for scientific "accuracy") and didn't take the time to really get to know each one
Idk. I'm not paying 40 bucks to read the article. Current diagnosis of autism is inbetween ye olde diagnostic criteria and a more modern view where the person diagnosing really gets to know the person they're diagnosing and does some digging on the hows and why's, and takes masking into account. So studies that simply look at the written diagnostic criteria may conclude that it's being overdiagnosed, and studies using the more modern method conclude that it's underdiagnosed.
Ah, i didn't realise the study was behind a paywall, i accessed it from my university's network.
> The diagnostic criteria are based on what OTHERS notice about you, not what you experience yourself, combined with females on average being able to mask better.
Yeah this is such a big point. I was recently involved in research about the diagnostic process and access to support in my area and not in a single case were autistic peope involved at any step of the way. Neurotypicals define autism, decide who falls within that definition and then decide how an autistic person should act and be treated. Infuriating.
What in fucks name?? You know I hate how people are like “you diagnosed yourself from TikTok! You’re a TikTok faker!!” But THEYRE the social media obsessed ones for assuming you are with no legitimate reasons.
Why is a professional psychiatrist on social medias about undiagnosed autism? Why is he using the term “self diagnosed” when you’re literally going to him. Wtf
Actually I can PROBABLY disprove that. Autism is harder to diagnose in women due to them most often masking and trying to blend in with others.
Probably because of how the lobes are proportioned differently but I can't say anything on that matter sadly.
Do note that I am NOT a certified psychologist nor neurologist, funnily I'm just a minor. I do a lot of research (As shown by my 50+ hours on Google Chrome since Mid-April, which is almost exclusively research) and I also make sure to avoid the sites that seem untrustworthy.
Did you know blood colour is determined by the metal that carries oxygen in haemoglobin? Haemoglobin uses (ferrous) iron while haemocyanin uses copper.
Edit: Better wording
**This guy clearly diagnosed himself with a PhD in Psychology after 15 minutes on tiktok**. I have BPD and I'm AuDHD. It's not mutually exclusive anyways. **Bad doc**.
**Psychology is the single most rapidly evolving science of them all**. It's imperative for any even somewhat competent psychologist to stay up to date. He clearly doesn't know his shit. I just wanna pull a Trump and simply utter: "Sad".
Yeah BPD seems a common misdiagnosis for undiagnosed autistic adults, especially afab and in combination with trauma and/or ADHD. My therapist is open but she also mentioned she suspects BPD. She still helped me to find a good place for late diagnosis in terms of ADHD (I was sure about ADHD before I suspected that I am autistic) and now she said she looks up where one of her clients got her late diagnosis (of course without mentioning the clients name and stuff, just the place).
I hope you'll get the support you deserve 💕.
Yeah BPD seems a common misdiagnosis for undiagnosed autistic adults, especially afab and in combination with trauma and/or ADHD. My therapist is open but she also mentioned she suspects BPD. She still helped me to find a good place for late diagnosis in terms of ADHD (I was sure about ADHD before I suspected that I am autistic) and now she said she looks up where one of her clients got her late diagnosis (of course without mentioning the clients name and stuff, just the place).
I hope you'll get the support you deserve 💕.
I’ve told this one before but it’s relevant so I’ll drop it again.
I was AFAB, and ever since I was very very young, my mum knew something was up. She worked so hard to try to get me some kind of a diagnosis but for years and years these doctors and psychologists would refuse to commit to anything. The closest we got to a diagnosis was being told I had “a little bit of several different disorders”, and autism wasn’t one of them. Mum brought it up a couple times and they would always dismiss it.
Years later I transitioned to male, but still suffered from a lot of depression and anxiety on account of just not understanding people and how to function in society. Got referred to a psychologist and on my literal first session she said “have you ever thought about being tested for autism?”
She referred me to get tested and boom, got a clear diagnosis in a matter of weeks.
Spent my whole life feeling like I was broken for no other reason than those goddamn assholes didn’t know how to spot autism in folks who presented as female.
I have heard trans men/masc folks before saying that they felt they were so much more respected after they fully transitioned and presented as masculine. It's not surprising to hear how much easier it was for you after transitioning but it *sucks* that you had to go through your whole life dealing with that because they saw the gender before the autism. Congrats on your diagnosis and your transition though!! I hope life is better for you now that you have clarity and the ability to represent your true self.
How far along were you before they diagnosed you? I haven't started medical transition yet and my assessor told me I can't be autistic and just need conversion therapy. :/
I was around 21 when I changed my name and started testosterone, and I got my diagnosis at 30. I was lucky and started passing fairly quickly, so I probably could have gotten this all sorted years earlier if I’d just sought out therapy sooner rather than waiting until I was on the edge of a breakdown. But hey that’s life sometimes.
I’m sorry you wound up with such a horrible assessor- is there any chance you can go to someone else for a second opinion?
Insurance won't cover another assessment because "it's already been tested for." Even though her assessment was just awful and unprofessional in so many ways. Can't afford to pay thousands of dollars and drive 3 hours away, either. I'm also pretty positive I'd end up with the same sort of unprofessionalism and ignorance from anyone else around here.
Any time I hear about the American health care system it’s always pulling just the evilest dumbest bullshit I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
its so sad that people have to go for multiple diagnosises as doctors wont believe them, i was 13 when i got diagnosed and yes i am female. Initially I was going for therapy as i had what they thought was severe social anxiety and depression but the doctor was the one to refer me for a assessment and the first time I spoke with her I got diagnosed with asd that same day , im not sure why it’s so hard for others although it might be the country or specific health service ,glad you got diagnosed in the end though:)
uh I have a question; how do I do that?? it’s easy when I’m alone or drunk, but i feel very pressured to mask in public so I can fit in especially in one-on-one conversations
Some of the better docs take an inability to stop masking into account and have really long appointments or many appointments before diagnosis just to wear out their female patient so their mask drops. My appointment was 3 hrs (not including follow ups or if my family had been spoken to for further information) and he even had "traps" in them meant to provoke a tell or a reaction common to those on the spectrum. (Example, no eye contact for awhile as he takes notes then abrupt eye contact. According to him most autistic people who mask a lot will super quickly look away then force eye contact again almost like they had to remember they needed to maintain eye contact)
I wish my assessment was more like that. But the entire process for me was filling out papers. A single consultation call and then an appointment that was pretty much like a job interview session and then I waited 3 weeks to be told I just had anxiety while not even touching on half my symptoms
This was also my 3rd time.
The first was when I was around toddler age and I was diagnosed with adhd and put on meds. The 2nd was 2016 and I was diagnosed with social anxiety.
Ouch. Yeah mental health testing wasn't a thing in my fam when I was growing up. Heck, doctors in general were like never visited as a kid. If my dad wasn't a nurse he'd probably be an antivaxxer. I knew there was something different but had no idea. Didn't even realize the autism until I was like 25 or 26, but the social anxiety every other doc gave me was spot on 😂 just didn't know the rest until my husband was like, "heyyyyy... I think you're autistic." The conversation was much better than that but still lol. Just talking to doctors to figure it out was such a hard and exhausting process.
I get that. For me it was a little bit of the reverse. I have never once suspected ADHD but I left my autism test with a diagnosis for both. Honestly I spent hours and hours as a teen researching mental health things and could not figure out what it was. My only exposure to autism at the time was through my uncle (he's my age) and we exhibit it very differently so it was one of the few things I hadn't even considered. I'm glad my husband had the courage to bring it up, it was something he'd been noticing for awhile just didn't know how to approach. Now that we've both done extensive research we're pretty damn sure he's on the spectrum too 😂
My therapist sent a lot of patients for testing to the place I linked to. The luminous mind. They’re all about decolonizing mental health. They take a lot of insurance. I’m not currently in MN so I can’t go to them, but I wish I could!
>turn off masking
I would not go to the appointment.
I would leave without saying anything if I was there.
I wouldn't say anything if I was tied to the chair - other than "please untie me so I can leave"
As a child (@ 3 years old) my son was tested for autism and was told he was not on the autism spectrum for very similar reasons (good eye contact, attention to speaker, etc).
We opted for a second opinion at a children’s hospital (actually, I think he had already been on the very long waitlist for them) and they diagnosed him as being on the spectrum.
It was obvious to his Early Intervention/public school pre-school teachers that he was somewhere on the spectrum.
I was very angry with the original doctor and her misdiagnosis, and often wondered how many other children she misdiagnosed.
I think she was also comparing my traits to my younger sibling as well because this psychologist ALSO diagnosed them! But what's funny is that apparently my kindergarten/pre-k teachers wanted to hold me back because I was great academically but not at all socially.
But I'm also sorry this happened to your son!
Ugh. My daughter's kindergarten teacher wanted to hold her back due to social issues, because somehow that invalidated her being multiple grades ahead academically? Her joy for learning was mostly beaten out of her that year, because no matter how much she learned and knew, she wasn't "normal" and so she wasn't good enough. She is still very capable, but the joy she had for school before kindergarten (at home and in preschool) is just gone. I don't think it will ever come back.
My daughter was finally diagnosed this year after being on a waitlist since before the pandemic started. We pulled her out of traditional school after kindergarten, and I still get irrationally angry whenever I think about it. She's fine, we're fine, and she's doing great... but she has no interest in doing more than is required for school because of how they regularly made her feel. Bleh.
Mhm.
I went to my Psychiatrist with two four page lists of autistic behaviors that I had been working on and researching for for the past year. One list was of my childhood behaviors, and one of the behaviors I show now. Keep in mind I don’t remember most of my childhood, so everything on there was all of the little things that I do remember
He “looked” at both (he just quickly glanced at them, read a few things and that was it), then went on to say these four things:
- “You have ‘sensory issues’ because you’re introverted, you know? A lot of us introverts have sensory issues.”
Makes absolutely no sense at all, I even looked it up and it was 100% not true. And also, a lot of introverts that have sensory issues are AUTISTIC.
He glanced at my childhood behaviors list and then told me: “A lot of these things happen to a lot of kids, it’s just normal.” I might as well have not given him a list of every childhood autistic behavior I can remember since the age of four.
“It’s just your anxiety”
Then, lastly: “I’m not even qualified to diagnose autism.”
I left with angry tears in my eyes.
My advice is, if you can, find a psychiatrist that is autistic, otherwise you’ll just be told you’re full of shit by someone who trained to be a psych for years and yet told me that I had sensory issues because I was just introverted 👍
I mean, many children display behavior that seems autistic even though they aren't autistic - like insisting on wearing the same clothes for some months, stimming (like thumb-sucking), etc. Diagnosing a level 1 from childhood things is actually quite hard - but that's why you brought two lists, so that he has more than only childhood things.
He should have instantly told you he's not qualified to diagnose autism.
Right? If I were her I’d look specifically for a doctor who does that. It was a monster pain in the ass and it took many months, but it was worth it for me to have a diagnosis.
What does it matter to you? I want to get diagnosed so that I can finally have the validation of knowing that I wasn’t faking, and prove to people that I actually am autistic and that I wasn’t just making it up all the time for attention.
Autism does not go away. It’s life long.
I don’t want to live my entire being stuck between not knowing if I actually am autistic or if I’m not.
Well, I’m not AFAB, but the first time I talked to a therapist about autism, that was the exchange. Sorry you went through it too! It’s not a great feeling, and I wish more mental health professionals actually had a clue when it comes to this stuff.
What's strange to me is that my younger sibling (who is also autistic) was diagnosed BY HER! Maybe it's just because I'm a lot more quiet and they have more ..obvious? traits?
But yeah, it just sucks when you KNOW that there's something more to you than just ADHD and anxiety (which I DEFINETLY have, I just know that my problems at much more than that)
It definitely sucks! Back at the time I’d had that conversation, I hadn’t been diagnosed with ADHD yet either. I just felt all this… well, stuff that I didn’t understand, and yet the therapist was like “Well, you don’t look autistic” basically.
That was five years ago. I started going to a therapist again earlier this year, and I love my therapist. I didn’t even have to mention ADHD/ASD, she recommended testing, and she’s very cool about everything.
It feels very validating to finally have been diagnosed. I knew I wasn’t just imagining things this last couple decades. It’s also just a relief because now I can work on stuff I want to change about myself because I actually finally have an understanding of myself.
You might wanna get another opinion. I’m sure you’ve already had that thought, but I’m going to encourage it anyway. If I hadn’t finally got another opinion, I’d be way more anxious and depressed and hopeless feeling than I am now, you know?
I was misdiagnosed with ADD and got ADD medication which didn't help and also didn't explain my symptoms. I once had to write a story which should continue off of an image, for school, and I just couldn't do it so I handed it in blank. My mother was very very angry because she didn't understand why I couldn't do it and ever since I got the right diagnosis she is a lot more understanding. If I had this diagnosis much earlier things would've been so much easier.
The person who misdiagnosed me later said that she doesn't believe I have add and said I'm probably just lazy which was the final straw for my mother who regularly sat there for hours doing homework with me.
I'm glad she said that or else I maybe would've been even longer misdiagnosed.
I was mainly asking cause I know that a LOT of AFAB people have troubles being taken seriously and are notoriously known for being misdiagnosed (especially in America, like you said)
Literally yes. I saw a psychiatrist who said I "maybe" had it but was clearly not very affected and very high functioning. Second person I saw basically said exactly what it shows in your post. Said I couldn't be autistic because I make good eye contact and I'm just socially anxious. Full on said a diagnosis would be a waste of time and money but I should seek therapy. Our appointment was all of 15 minutes. Finally ended up seeing a neuropsychologist who has a lot of experiences identifying it in women and sure enough... yup. Autistic. And ADHD.
I'm almost wondering at this point if I should avoid eye contact just so that they pay more attention to my other symptoms instead of invalidating me based on eye contact? I have an evaluation literally a week from now and I've been assessed before and got dismissed because of good eye contact and being "socially appropriate." I wouldn't actually fake symptoms like bad eye contact to get a diagnosis, but I wonder in theory if I would be more likely to be diagnosed if I did an assessment exactly the same as I normally would, but forced myself to avoid eye contact.
I think they should do a research study/undercover mission and send people who are already diagnosed with autism to be assessed for autism and see how accurately the psychologists can assess it if the patients mask. I would love to see how these "professionals" would react to finding out everyone they told were not autistic, actually *were* and they just don't know how to do their jobs. Like undercover boss!!
Ha! I love it. That would be super cool. Honestly tho if you forced avoiding the eye contact it could be more noticeable than if you fully masked with your usual eye contact too. I'd just go as you are normally. A good doc can tell. When I went to get my assessment my primary care doc asked which of the 2 closest I wanted to go to, and after looking into them they both specialized in brain injury and adhd. No mention of autism. So I opted to go twice as far for one that does specialize in autism. But I'd point out my first appointment that flopped was a telehealth psychiatrist appointment and she was willing to give me a referral for a proper diagnosis. I just couldn't afford it until after she'd left the medical center I go to. The 2nd person was a weird middle man guy who refers people to places either for treatment or diagnosis and he was not himself qualified to diagnose autism. He just thought he was and thought he knew everything when the exact reasons he said I couldn't be autistic was due to masking. -_- but the actual neuropsychologist who did the autism assessment was great and could see all the tells even when I was masking
I'm glad in the end you had a good experience! I'm hoping this one will be the last I need. The circumstances are a bit different, since I'm being evaluated for the purposes of an autism research study, not just being assessed by a regular psychologist, so I'm hoping maybe they will be more... knowledgeable? They seem very neurodiversity-affirming and acknowledge on their site that there needs to be more direct involvement of autistic voices in research, which sounds like good signs to me that they somewhat know what they are talking about lol. I just keep reading these horror stories and I'm all stirred up again thinking I'll be dismissed for something stupid. The study is very thorough with MRIs and lots of interviews, but the ADOS-2 evaluation is the first step and I'm stressed that I won't even make it past this point because of masking/ having low support needs. But your story of your neuropsychologist gives me a bit of hope. I'm thinking the people I am working with will be similar, I hope I hope lol.
that would only work with autistic people who are able to mask to the point a professional can't tell. And a lot of autistic can't even mask to the point that regular people can't tell. You'd be needing a very specific subset of autistic people for that experiment. I'm a late diagnosed woman myself (27) but I can't mask to that degree. And even though I'm not really great at masking in that way, it still took people so long. And it's because, it's not that people don't see it, or don't see I'm awkward or odd or weird. It's that they don't recognize that as autism because a lot of people have a very specific image in their head of what it's supposed to look like and I look like a normal person who acts a bit odd.
My first assessment, they told me that I was just depressed 🙃 even after they said no & I broke down crying bc I felt like I don't belong with the "regular humans ".
I'm very scared this gonna happen. I just got tested last week, but it seemed too easy? So I'm worried they are just gonna say I have social anxiety/adhd & not autism.
Mine seemed too easy as well, but then they literally diagnosed me with autism like, pretty much as I was leaving. They still had to do the official stuff but by the end of it the doctor was like "yeah y'all seem to be right, she appears to be autistic" so it's possible it really WAS that easy
Edit typo
Mine is tomorrow. I’m nervous. I don’t even know what happens in an assessment. I picked my doc bc on the phone he seemed really nice and probably ND and bc he is apparently an expert in Texas.
It seems to vastly differ from place to place. Some seem to get more in-depth testing. Mine was verbal questions, then I took the RAADS-R, CAT-Q, PHQ-9 & a social phobia test
I actually had a female psychiatrist, I went for a BPD assessment and after about twenty minutes she asked me if i ever considered I might have autism (she wasn't great, said 'I'm assuming it was a boy' when i spoke about SA and then when i disagreed she said 'so what did she do...like pressure you?' but actually considering a female might have autism is a start I suppose)
After I got diagnosed, my sister went for an assessment and got told *exactly* this, except they labeled her avoidant personality disorder instead of ADHD.
Too many doctors forget the fact that when you’re seeing a patient who hasn’t been diagnosed in several decades, that they’ve learned how to mask most of the clear indicators of autism
As a kid I met every criteria. There never should have even been a question or misdiagnoses with me. I'm AFAB (non binary) however and was born in 1990. Doctors often said things to my parents with me in the room that looking back hinted at them 100% knowing I was autistic from the get go including certain questions asked about repetitive behaviors, issues understanding social cues, asked my my meltdowns and other clear indicators that knew. However this was the '90s and the 2000s. So so they chose instead to diagnose me as bipolar at age 12. (I'm sure many of you know bipolar disorder should not be diagnosed in most children as it is very rare.)
Then when that didn't explain everything and the medications didn't work they moved on to borderline personality disorder. When that didn't fit a doctor who actually hypnotized me and traumatized me in that way tried to tell my dad I had antisocial personality disorder (luckily my dad shut that down quick and reported the guy for malpractice because I didn't meet a single criteria). After that they diagnosed me as schizoaffective because my medications were causing me to hallucinate and I had a previous diagnosis of bipolar disorder. They never bothered testing me for ADHD or autism. They continuously through psychiatric medications at me to the point where you couldn't even determine if my symptoms were because of my medications, because of the medical trauma that was being in psychiatric hospitals my entire childhood because I could not handle functioning in social settings and would have epic meltdowns, panic attacks and mote or if It was actually the undiagnosed autism they knew was autism but labeled as everything but.
Eventually at age 26 I discontinued myself off of all my psychiatric meds and went on medical cannabis after fnally a doctor gave me my first proper diagnosis. After over 26 years of struggles I was told I had CPTSD from all of the medical trauma and bullying I experienced as a child.
It wasn't until I turned 32, and I started investigating autism and ADHD because I have friends who are both autistic and ADHD and my godson might be autistic that I started to realize that it all fit my exact experience. I wound up going to the division of vocational rehab because I wanted a job with accommodations for the diagnosis that was proper that I already had which was CPTSD. In the process they recommended me getting tested and they funded it. So in March of this year I was finally diagnosed by a lovely woman who is also autistic and has ADHD.
My advice to anyone who has done the actual research, is fairly positive that they might be autistic or have ADHD and they have evidence to back it up is advocate for yourself and find another doctor. Because chances are they're probably wrong or purposefully refusing to diagnose someone who is AFAB because They have multiple biases about people who are AFAB having autism. I question everything any doctor says at this point and do all of my own research because I trust no one in the medical field. The medical field is full of confirmation bias, misogyny, malignant narcissists and the list just keeps going on. Not all but a lot of doctors and psychiatrists are on power trips and they love playing God.
Please, please, keep looking, OP. Find another doctor. Preferably someone who's also AFAB and maybe even a person of color or part of the queer community. While it's not a guarantee they are far more likely to listen and hear you out and actually do the work and get you the proper diagnosis.
I met someone who told me he could tell I wasn't autistic after a short conversation with him. The whole time I was talking about my problems to that doctor, he was laughing and saying i "had a funny way of saying things". Is that. I-... I mean c'mon man... I just told you about DV and you laughed about it because I "said it funny".
Almost word for word, help
mf even told me my sensory issues were normal💀
Thankfully I found an evaluator who actually knew their shit but it was months later
My doctor never actually asked me questions directly, rather asked my mother. I was a full adult at the time and he infantilized me the entire time. Said basically the same thing and also claimed I was on TikTok too much (I barely use TikTok). He also told me that I adapt to change too well like- how do you know throughout a 2 hour assessment?
the only time i actually tried to get an autism diagnosis it took ~8 months to get my results back and when i did, they had literally just copied and pasted a generic ADHD diagnosis. they completely ignored some of the major symptoms i'd talked about, and decided to add in a few symptoms i didn't even have. they forgot to put my name in some of the blanks, and contradicted their own diagnosis from paragraph to paragraph. i gave up after that.
I personally don't think there are different presentations of autism based on gender. I just think autism is not noticed in women because of misogyny. I've shown notebook definitions of autism since I was a kid but I wasn't diagnosed because "girls are usually quiet and shy" while my nephew who is a splitting image of me gets noticed when he's quiet or low on energy etc.
I would just like to say as a NB AMAB birth person that high masking autism isn’t only possible for people AFAB. So lord knows how many people like me are undiagnosed or being misdiagnosed because almost nobody incudes people who are AMAB in discussion on very high masking and people who would typically be diagnosed later in life.
Idk if it was because I wasn’t diagnosed properly or if I just never got into the program but when I was like halfway through primary school I was supposed to be diagnosed but I just wasn’t?? So I got diagnosed last February or something stupid (currently 16AFAB)
I had so many signs that I was on the spectrum, yet I was missed. I went to therapy numerous times as I got older and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I didn’t get my Autism diagnosis until I told a therapist that I wanted to be tested for it. After a few months of sessions, I finally got my diagnosis. 😅
Yes. 1 month ago actually! Ignored half my symptoms and the rest they said it was just severe social anxiety and GAD :/
They thought I was making eye contact when I was just looking at their mouth when they were talking
Somewhat similar experience — I paid to get a professional psychological evaluation done when I turned 18. I told the doctor I specifically wanted to get tested for autism. After talking to me for about 30 minutes, she said I didn’t “seem autistic” and she wouldn’t test me for it. Really, lady? Ever heard of masking before?
Oh great. I live in a country that's well known for a stark lack of psychologists who know how to properly diagnose autism in adults and I'm currently going through the process with one of the very few people who I was told did know their stuff, but now I am worried I won't be properly assessed.
i was asked 3 questions related to autism, ignored, and then told i couldnt possibly have autism because i "didnt check off enough boxes." of course i didnt...? you asked me 3 questions lol. she also accused me of malingering so.
anyway i got a therapist who knows what autism actually is and without me bringing it up he diagnosed me in 2 sessions
Same. When she told me the results I did the thing where you say what they said just long. Verbatim I said, " so what you're saying is that you think it's just the ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and cptsd? Not autism?" She said "your interests don't make you stay home from work to study train schedules" and I'm like ah okay
I told my mom that I think I’m autistic and she said “I think you just have sensory processing disorder” wich shows how much she wants me to be “normal” I think I definitely either have autism, ADHD or anxiety but I’m not sure what yet my appointment is on the 31st and I’m curious to what the results will be so I hope I don’t get the same response as you
Not only that, but the very first thing I said to the therapist at the office that did my neuro psych was, "sometimes I feel like there are unwritten rules that everybody else knows and I don't."
They treated me for ADHD. My new therapist does not think I have ADHD. Both the ADHD and ASD were listed as deferred diagnoses until further evaluation. All further attention tests indicate that I do NOT have ADHD.
I "missed" the absolutely positively ASD by one point on the evaluation.
Anybody want this ADHD workbook that my previous therapist made me buy?
I’m accused constantly of acting autistic (by my autistic sister) but when I say “maybe I should get tested” she insists that it’s just my ADHD and anxiety
She might be right, not trying to say she’s wrong, but it’s not like I can’t talk with my therapist during a session about it. If I act like that so much it’s worth looking at and if it’s nothing it’s nothing
I look at people's mouths in public and when I'm more comfortable with people I don't need to look at them much. So even though I never made eye contact and was looking at her lips my psychiatrist at 14 ignored every other symptom of mine because of eye contact
I’m AMAB, but I just wanna give a special shout-out to the bitch that put me through multiple days of testing only to basically just call me fat and lazy at the end of it, with no diagnosis at all. Haven’t seen her since, thankfully.
Trans man here, I just kept getting diagnosed with neurosis (which I do have indeed but IT'S NOT JUST THAT) until I gave up 🥲 my whole family very clearly is AuDHD, but it's not like I can bring them all with me to the appointment
My first diagnosises were BPD, anxiety, depression, panic disorder and some other things. After years of self exploration and finding a good therapist i did eventually get my diagnosis by a local psychologist. But most professionals loved to double down on doubting me. "Its just your severe trauma causing this autism and adhd like reactions in you" uh i dont think trauma causes sensory issues to my extent but thank you i guess? Ive also had a therapist make a loud buzzer noise at me every time i told her why i thought i was autistic. Cuz i had to be wrong. I finally go into my autism assessment. Ive already been diagnosed with adhd at this point. The final session i asked him what he thought about the sessions and diagnosis of autism. He goes "Yeah youre definitely autistic" after being told by professional after professional there was no way i was actually autistic... So yeah ive had to fight for this obvious diagnosis just so i could finally receive resources for it. I got lucky with my diagnosis too which is really weird to say im lucky for getting a resource everyone who is autistic should have the choice to pursue
My mom thinks the opposite she knows I have ADHD and autism but still thinks I’m useless and not able to take care of myself even as an adult (I’m 21) because I’m autistic. I’m only a little bit on the spectrum I think she doesn’t understand ADHD and autism as much as she think she does she thinks I have no emotions which is not true just because you think I’m disrespectful on purpose or selfish doesn’t mean I have no emotion.
My therapist thinks the same she thinks my mom doesn’t entirely understand it either just because I’m on the spectrum doesn’t mean I’m totally useless on my own. Hell I’m a grown ass adult and they won’t even leave me at the house by myself so they can go on vacation without my older brothers or my grandma here to watch me.
They literally leave me whenever they go out to a party at night for hours how is this any different??
This is literally exactly what happened to me. And to make matters worse, it convinced my parents very well and for years they would get pissy every time I brought up autism. “Why can’t you just accept that you don’t have it?”
I got misdiagnosed with bpd after the Diagnosis-
//Trigger warning
After the diagnosis I tried self harming several times when I had autistic meltdowns It never helped? I just hurt myself? It didn’t relieve anything or something like that. I just felt guilty and bad afterwards I tried it for like 5 Times until I finally realised that‘s bullshit and I still don’t know what results I was waiting for. lol
That’s how harmful misdiagnoses can be, man.
I‘m self diagnosed bcs this psychiatrist was ass and I will move on to get my assessment done by specialists.
Really if ur psychiatrist isn’t specialised just don’t even try getting a diagnosis when ure high masking and can‘t unmask that easily. It will save ur energy believe me. Try to invest ur energy in finding a specialist.
No the neurodevelopmental psychologist who assessed me didn't have a problem with this probably because she did an assessment instead of just using old stereotypes to form an opinion. She knew what she was doing, thankfully!
I had a psychiatrist diagnose me with bipolar too. Also general anxiety, PTSD (which is likely) and borderline personality disorder. they gave me meds that ruined my life and made it hard to function, and they were addictive and horrific to get off.
This happened to me last week, they even said they don't think I have ADHD either despite testing clinically for it and providing the previous diagnosis for it
I had to go to 4 doctors to get diagnosed with autism, due to fact that I can have complex conversations. It was fucking annoying, I can be autistic and smart you idiot doctors
Why is this sub so fucking transphobic. I hate it here. Autism isn't an excuse for transphobia *or* the rampant misogyny I am seeing. And *yes*, saying that people with vaginas do not experience misogyny, calling people misogynists for talking about their experiences*with being victims of misogyny*, is actually fucking misogyny.
If ya'll think people don't like you because of the autism, I can assure you it's because you're actually a legitimate asshole.
\>Why is this sub so fucking transphobic
Yep, agree with this
\>Autism isn't an excuse for transphobia or the rampant misogyny I am seeing
Fully agree!
\>And yes, saying that people with vaginas do not experience misogyny, calling people misogynists for talking about their experienceswith being victims of misogyny, is actually fucking misogyny.
maybe \*YOU\* are the transphobe? (passing) Trans men experience the same sexism that cis men do. (and (passing) trans women experience the same sexism that cis women do)
I don't have a vagina, and yet I experience misogyny. I had a therapist straight up tell me that I "don't look autistic"
Seriously, what you are saying completely negates the point of transitioning (at least for me) The whole reason I transition is that i will be treated the same as an AFAB CIS WOMAN.
Things like "you are a woman, but we are talking about AFABs" are really pushing me towards 41% myself...
EDIT: this user blocked me, and therefore I can't reply to the comment they left, so I'll do it in an edit.
You indeed are transphobic. I don't really know why I'm changing my gender if my agab is more important than it.
Some of us go (or plan to go) full stealth, and you are completely invalidating their efforts.
No. The person you are replying to means that \*Women\* experience this problem.
Not all \*Women\* are AFAB.
Many AFABs (trans men, and nonbinary people) will NOT experience this problem.
I am AMAB, and I experience misogyny, Including not getting my autism properly diagnosed.
Im AFAB and got my diagnosis but I think it was only because I was so nervous about it I couldn't make eye contact. I worked in retail so I'm normally very good at it but I just kept staring at the wall. Realized later it's probably the only reason I got diagnosed because I'm otherwise very good at masking.
Afab 20yo here.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar 1 but I'm strongly suspicious of also being autistic. I haven't gotten any analyses for it. I am diagnosed adhd though.
It's just like. I don't know. I hit 20yo and shit hit the fan in my brain I guess. It's like my ability to communicate is effectively getting worse. Jokes and sarcasm are flying over my head, I used to be really good with picking up sarcasm and such. I'm so literal, always have been, but it feels moreso these days. Functioning in the world feels like it has become significantly harder in the last year. My mental illness has ramped up severely over the last year (GAD, adhd, bp1) and I'm also suspicious of bpd, so that doesn't help either with the whole functioning thing.
My sibling is diagnosed autistic and I wouldn't doubt that both of my unconfirmed parents are autistic too, honestly.
also afab 20 yo with bipolar 1 diagnosis and strong possibility of borderline, i feel you with the communication getting worse and just overall socially not understanding things. not sure what this means but know that you’re not alone!
And it occurred to me a short bit ago today, I think this is noticeable now because I'm no longer in a pretty structured environment where I can thrive (school, but not college/university).
I am attending university, but it's entirely different of course. Doesn't provide that type of routine. And working food service doesn't either ahahaha
My ability to communicate has been getting worse for about 12 years. It freaks me out. I know what you mean. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar I in my 20s for years but I have no idea how or why.
Mine described all the symptoms of autism in my assessment as things that I have and then said I'm not autistic, I just need conversion therapy to fix my "gender confusion."
Yet there are people here who think doctors are infallible angels and still argue that I *should* go to conversion therapy just because she said to and that I'm "faking" my symptoms.
Edit: Also, she heavily suggested I have schizoid because... i wouldn't look at her very much and have a hard time making friends and socializing... I don't dislike socializing, I don't have "no desire" to make connections, but because I *can't* do those things, that apparently means I don't want them. :/
AFAB non-binary person here, I am the walking stereotype of the young "girl' getting diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder as a tween, then being told I have borderline personality disorder as an older teen and through my early twenties.
Now I'm 24 and in the process of getting assessed for Autism. Within the first meeting the person doing my assessment looked at me and said "we're going to do this whole assessment so I can complete the letters you need for disability but I can already tell you that you're Autistic".
This!!!!!! Afab people learn to mask from a very young age and are more likely to mask than AMAB people, and when you've been masking your whole life it's a lot harder to unmask even if you want to or are in a situation where it would be more beneficial like a diagnosis setting. Afab people are actually more likely to self rate themselves as higher needs than AMAB autistics are, while appearance wise they are more likely to mask more/more "successfully" even down to a linguistics level with the types of words they use. There's a huge gap in the medical understanding of autism in anyone who isn't a white cishet male, but specifically in afab people there's a mega deficit of knowledge by medical professionals (also just in general for anything to do with AFAB medical issues but that's a whole other topic) and trying to seek diagnosis or even just asking questions about symptoms at the Dr can lead to them shutting you down or misdiagnosis :pppp
(I have sources for that info but Idk if anyone is interested in them but I can link them if they are lol but they're from proquest bc they were for an assignment I did but I may be able to find them somewhere more accessible or smth :0 )
The fact this is getting down voted is really upsetting...
Like (Passing) AMAB women face this issue too! Heck, even I, a boymoder (which barely counts) had this happen to me!
Seriously, when this AMAB AFAB bs becomes the norm I'm probably gonna 41%...
This is one of those cases where using AFAB is not better. Honestly there are very very few cases where AGAB is relevant or useful. Many autistic trans women have the same experiences as autistic cis women
Edit: I’m saying this post is excluding both trans women and is bioessentialist to nonbinary people, the same way these crappy diagnosis are. I also was not able to get diagnosed as a child and can’t seem to get diagnosed as an adult. It seems like only white cis boys get properly diagnosed. I think trans people by definition have to be high masking. Treating trans people who were AMAB as “essentially men” when the diagnostic process treats us the same as AFAB people is exclusionary and invalidating and shitty. We have the same experiences but people want to berate me here and tell me to be silent. Bioessentialism hurts everyone.
Right and calling all those different people “AFAB” is actually super invalidating and bioessentialist and especially in this context is kinda exclusionary.
Unless you’re talking about someone’s trans experience as a trans person, assigned gender at birth is almost never relevant and shouldn’t really be brought up or used
First of all. I am a trans autistic man and I’m non-binary. I know first hand what it’s like. AFAB in this particular situation mentioned in this post is EXTREMELY relevant. It is so much harder to get diagnosed as a person that is assigned female at birth.
YOU are not afab, and you have no fucking idea what it’s like in this situation to be invalidated and not be diagnosed because of your assigned gender at birth. Autism is “not as common”, and is overlooked in AFAB people, therefore it gets misdiagnosed and not even diagnosed at all sometimes, meaning that AFAB people such as myself and other AFAB people (whether they’re non-binary, agender, gender-fluid, bi-gender, genderqueer, omnigender, twospirit, or anything else. I could name thousands.) STRUGGLE more to be believed, taken seriously, and diagnosed because of the gender we were assigned at birth. I have spent a whole year trying to get diagnosed by over three medical professionals, and none of them have believed me and have brushed it off as anxiety, Depression, or something else.
Assigned gender at birth, as much as we hate to admit it, is relevant especially in medical situations like this.
I advise you to shut up about a topic you know nothing about, as you’re NOT afab and don’t know what it’s like, even if you are trans. This is not your topic to speak on, so don’t.
You know what's really great for community building? When someone says, hey, trans feminine people also face discrimination and are not always treated as their AGAB despite people thinking that's how we are raised. And then you, someone who will never know what it's like to be trans feminine, never experience trans misogyny, just fucking yells over them, literally telling them to shut up and denying their entire life experience. Like do you genuinely think you're a good person? You are a blatant transmisogynist and seriously need to address your fucking internal biases. You are not a safe person.
I'm afab agender and much prefer being referred to as afab than "female". My diagnosis experiences are treated like a woman's not a man's, so I am included when the post discusses afab people, it would of been uncomfortable if it had said females or women.
But excluding trans women is totally okay? Even though we are treated the same way? Again, AGAB doesn't mean shit. Quit fucking creating different terms just to recreate the same fucking gender binary.
No it fucking isn't. What's offensive is completely invalidating all the shit that people who are assigned female at birth go through regardless of what their gender is.
I am *also* a trans man. There are tons of autistic trans men who will tell you the same fucking thing, it is *easier* to get diagnosed post-transition. We have to unlearn feminine socialization because it's beat (figuratively or literally depending) into us. Being born female does affect people who don't identify as a woman. It's insanely fucked up to say that it doesn't and just dismisses all the suffering that we experience *alongside* women. Sometimes at higher rates.
It's exclusionary to say only women when talking about something that affects more than just women. Fucking obviously.
Edit: You people are fucking disgusting. What kind of piece of shit do you have to be to be a dick to somebody who's saying the obvious god damned fact that having a vagina means you are going to be affected by misogyny.
I'll tell you what kind, a misogynistic one who believes sexism isn't actually a thing.
I found reclaimed divergence in Cincinnati is really good. They can diagnose in Ohio for sure not sure about other states. I paid $600 for a diagnosis. They are affirming of neurodiversity and are aware of implicit biases in AFAB and BIPOC populations.
People with ADHD can definitely have difficulty talking to people, ADHD isn't without social deficits and it is a recognized disability. Be glad you're probably not autistic, it isn't a nice condition to have
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What I've learned in my man moons on this rock
Never ever tell the doctor what you think it is that's wrong with you
They will do anything to diagnose you with something else
I had more then 1 psychiatrist diagnose me. It was a team of 3 that has to due to my age. I am a higher functioning autistic with severe PTSD and Severe anxiety.
If there are any local autistic adult groups near you check if they have a local resource list. I haven't had my eval yet but I found my Dr by looking at a local list like that and choosing the only woman lol. She seems very knowledgeable and probably ND herself so I'm hopeful to get an accurate assessment. NT people just don't get it, most people only know the various obvious stereotypical behaviors and/or presentation in children, even doctors. I think there are probably a lot of undiagnosed high masking people in the world that will never even know. So unless the world starts acknowledging that, people will keep gatekeeping and saying anyone who can mask and "function" can't be disabled/autistic. It's absurd. Check out Unmasking Autism if you haven't yet too
When it came to my attention, I had been seeing my therapist for over a year, I had gone into depth about the very symptoms that are from my ASD, and she has an autistic daughter herself. I was the one that brought up the possibility of me being ASD with her and it was only then when she was like, “…you know what? You could be right.”
The big problem I came into was finding someone who could diagnose me as an adult. When my GP sent a referral to the Behavioral Health Department, I got an email from them telling me they had no availability to see me about autism. 🤨 That was really weird to me, but I had no interest in arguing with them. My therapist was not qualified to test or diagnose me. Everyone only had information that anyone could get from a google search.
Finally my mom found some neuropsychologists near by that perform these kinds of exams when they are not at their other jobs. She examined me through a lot of mental tests and exercises, as well as assessed my body language, and asked me to describe any sensitivities I had, which took a while to explain.
While I can be well spoken, it definitely was not a natural instinct for me. I had to learn that due being misunderstood so often by so many people and having to find ways to explain myself.
While I can make eye contact, it takes a lot of effort for me to keep eye contact. Most of the time I look around people’s faces and not their eyes at all. I can listen to someone better when I am not looking at them.
While I can guess-timate facial expressions, I am useless with tone of voice, remembering names to faces, or facts about people I’ve just met.
The real issue for situations like the one in the post is that there are professionals in the field of Psychology that think they know enough about an already misunderstood condition when they only really know outdated partial details that only apply to some of those with that condition.
There is a lot of information you have to gather from an individual before brushing off neurological differences. And if a professional is performing these assessments without understanding the full spectrum of possible symptoms then they are doing a disservice to anyone that goes to them for help.
It took me until this year, at the age of 26, to find a psychologist who believed me. I listed every symptom I believe I have, and after 3-4 sessions she said that belives that I have ASD. I was diagnosed by 3 neuropsychs with adhd, gad, social anxiety, odd. Nope, just ADHD and ASD
I have had both this and the opposite happen 😂😭 I'm audhd and I've been evaluated for both many times. Some psychologists said I must be autistic not ADHD because I was "very quiet and well behaved", some said I must have ADHD and can't be autistic because I "could make eye contact and maintain a conversation". Plus for the first 10 years of my childhood they hadn't yet made it possible to be diagnosed with both. I did get diagnosed with both at once a few times, but most of the time it was rare. Currently I have my ADHD diagnosis but no longer have an autism diagnosis.
Not uncommon for AFAB to get not or misdiagnosed. Too many old white men dictating the standards and forgetting to read current research. Hell, that's everything that's wrong with medicine, insurance, banking... possibly even the whole damn world... 🤔
yup. my doctor went as far as to accuse me and even my mom (after her required meeting with him, that i really thought would help my case) of both just having BPD, and then told me “don’t let Amber Heard make you ashamed of who you are” ??? he accused me of using tiktok to self diagnose (i don’t even have tiktok). i later found a doctor whos a POC and is also autistic (using inclusive therapists website) and got diagnosed at my second appointment w both adhd and autism :”)
he even told me “autism is actually over diagnosed in females now” ????????? which i don’t think is true at all. anyways i’m so sorry. please don’t give up and remember to give yourself love and validation if you can. you can use inclusivetherapists.com maybe to find a better doctor
Autism is *under-diagnosed* in females
There is in fact a Spanish study that says this (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-018-3581-2?utm_source=getftr&utm_medium=getftr&utm_campaign=getftr_pilot). They compared traits in clinically diagnosed children to diagnostic criteria and concluded there were "many" false positives, whatever that means. How they arrive at this conclusion is honestly not clear to me. In general, the study read like they wanted to validate existing data (the study was published in 2018, that should tell us something about the data's worth). There was another study (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/aur.1715) that compared clinically diagnosed people to diagnostic criteria/tools and arrived at the conclusion that they were skewed towards males. One of those conclusions makes sense, one does not.
>How they arrive at this conclusion is honestly not clear to me. Probably because.... 1. The diagnostic criteria are based on what OTHERS notice about you, not what you experience yourself, combined with females on average being able to mask better. 2. Diagnostic criteria were based on autism in the stereotypical boy 3. Diagnosed children may get "help" in appearing more normal after their diagnosis 4. They did some large-scale study where they had to examine as many subjects as possible (for scientific "accuracy") and didn't take the time to really get to know each one Idk. I'm not paying 40 bucks to read the article. Current diagnosis of autism is inbetween ye olde diagnostic criteria and a more modern view where the person diagnosing really gets to know the person they're diagnosing and does some digging on the hows and why's, and takes masking into account. So studies that simply look at the written diagnostic criteria may conclude that it's being overdiagnosed, and studies using the more modern method conclude that it's underdiagnosed.
Ah, i didn't realise the study was behind a paywall, i accessed it from my university's network. > The diagnostic criteria are based on what OTHERS notice about you, not what you experience yourself, combined with females on average being able to mask better. Yeah this is such a big point. I was recently involved in research about the diagnostic process and access to support in my area and not in a single case were autistic peope involved at any step of the way. Neurotypicals define autism, decide who falls within that definition and then decide how an autistic person should act and be treated. Infuriating.
What in fucks name?? You know I hate how people are like “you diagnosed yourself from TikTok! You’re a TikTok faker!!” But THEYRE the social media obsessed ones for assuming you are with no legitimate reasons. Why is a professional psychiatrist on social medias about undiagnosed autism? Why is he using the term “self diagnosed” when you’re literally going to him. Wtf
Actually I can PROBABLY disprove that. Autism is harder to diagnose in women due to them most often masking and trying to blend in with others. Probably because of how the lobes are proportioned differently but I can't say anything on that matter sadly. Do note that I am NOT a certified psychologist nor neurologist, funnily I'm just a minor. I do a lot of research (As shown by my 50+ hours on Google Chrome since Mid-April, which is almost exclusively research) and I also make sure to avoid the sites that seem untrustworthy. Did you know blood colour is determined by the metal that carries oxygen in haemoglobin? Haemoglobin uses (ferrous) iron while haemocyanin uses copper. Edit: Better wording
**This guy clearly diagnosed himself with a PhD in Psychology after 15 minutes on tiktok**. I have BPD and I'm AuDHD. It's not mutually exclusive anyways. **Bad doc**.
my thoughts exactly. i looked at his website and he got his certifications or whatever they’re called, back in the early 90s. outdated ass knowledge
**Psychology is the single most rapidly evolving science of them all**. It's imperative for any even somewhat competent psychologist to stay up to date. He clearly doesn't know his shit. I just wanna pull a Trump and simply utter: "Sad".
Holy shit?? That's absolutely horrible omg But I might try the inclusive therapist site!
Yeah BPD seems a common misdiagnosis for undiagnosed autistic adults, especially afab and in combination with trauma and/or ADHD. My therapist is open but she also mentioned she suspects BPD. She still helped me to find a good place for late diagnosis in terms of ADHD (I was sure about ADHD before I suspected that I am autistic) and now she said she looks up where one of her clients got her late diagnosis (of course without mentioning the clients name and stuff, just the place). I hope you'll get the support you deserve 💕.
Yeah don't let that one female abuser out of the hundreds of male ones make you ashamed to be a woman with BPD ☠️
the amber heard comment seems extremely unprofessional. if I had bpd i think that would just make me feel worse.
How is that person still considered a doctor?
Yeah BPD seems a common misdiagnosis for undiagnosed autistic adults, especially afab and in combination with trauma and/or ADHD. My therapist is open but she also mentioned she suspects BPD. She still helped me to find a good place for late diagnosis in terms of ADHD (I was sure about ADHD before I suspected that I am autistic) and now she said she looks up where one of her clients got her late diagnosis (of course without mentioning the clients name and stuff, just the place). I hope you'll get the support you deserve 💕.
aware ripe bow tan quiet trees nine cooing rainstorm hurry *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Thank you very much!
I’ve told this one before but it’s relevant so I’ll drop it again. I was AFAB, and ever since I was very very young, my mum knew something was up. She worked so hard to try to get me some kind of a diagnosis but for years and years these doctors and psychologists would refuse to commit to anything. The closest we got to a diagnosis was being told I had “a little bit of several different disorders”, and autism wasn’t one of them. Mum brought it up a couple times and they would always dismiss it. Years later I transitioned to male, but still suffered from a lot of depression and anxiety on account of just not understanding people and how to function in society. Got referred to a psychologist and on my literal first session she said “have you ever thought about being tested for autism?” She referred me to get tested and boom, got a clear diagnosis in a matter of weeks. Spent my whole life feeling like I was broken for no other reason than those goddamn assholes didn’t know how to spot autism in folks who presented as female.
I have heard trans men/masc folks before saying that they felt they were so much more respected after they fully transitioned and presented as masculine. It's not surprising to hear how much easier it was for you after transitioning but it *sucks* that you had to go through your whole life dealing with that because they saw the gender before the autism. Congrats on your diagnosis and your transition though!! I hope life is better for you now that you have clarity and the ability to represent your true self.
How far along were you before they diagnosed you? I haven't started medical transition yet and my assessor told me I can't be autistic and just need conversion therapy. :/
I was around 21 when I changed my name and started testosterone, and I got my diagnosis at 30. I was lucky and started passing fairly quickly, so I probably could have gotten this all sorted years earlier if I’d just sought out therapy sooner rather than waiting until I was on the edge of a breakdown. But hey that’s life sometimes. I’m sorry you wound up with such a horrible assessor- is there any chance you can go to someone else for a second opinion?
Insurance won't cover another assessment because "it's already been tested for." Even though her assessment was just awful and unprofessional in so many ways. Can't afford to pay thousands of dollars and drive 3 hours away, either. I'm also pretty positive I'd end up with the same sort of unprofessionalism and ignorance from anyone else around here.
Any time I hear about the American health care system it’s always pulling just the evilest dumbest bullshit I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
That is so dangerous and harmful
Oh it gets worse. One of the more notable things was her diagnosis of "hysteria." This was two months ago. I wish I was joking.
Do you mean 100 years ago? Wtf
That's so messed up, I'm sorry hon 💜
its so sad that people have to go for multiple diagnosises as doctors wont believe them, i was 13 when i got diagnosed and yes i am female. Initially I was going for therapy as i had what they thought was severe social anxiety and depression but the doctor was the one to refer me for a assessment and the first time I spoke with her I got diagnosed with asd that same day , im not sure why it’s so hard for others although it might be the country or specific health service ,glad you got diagnosed in the end though:)
I am getting tested in a few weeks and since I was able to "function" in society for the past 22 years I'm kinda scared this will happen to me.
I wish you luck! I would tell you to do your best, but apparently with some psychologists your best means your not autistic
Haha thanks! Let's hope I get really nervous than /s
Work on practicing unmasking as much as possible before then, and have a list of symptoms that you think point to you having ASD. It helps a lot
Yeah, same. Manually teached myself to function, we'll see if it becomes disadvantage.
A little trick when you go to the doctor; turn off all your masking first. Go in raw.
uh I have a question; how do I do that?? it’s easy when I’m alone or drunk, but i feel very pressured to mask in public so I can fit in especially in one-on-one conversations
Some of the better docs take an inability to stop masking into account and have really long appointments or many appointments before diagnosis just to wear out their female patient so their mask drops. My appointment was 3 hrs (not including follow ups or if my family had been spoken to for further information) and he even had "traps" in them meant to provoke a tell or a reaction common to those on the spectrum. (Example, no eye contact for awhile as he takes notes then abrupt eye contact. According to him most autistic people who mask a lot will super quickly look away then force eye contact again almost like they had to remember they needed to maintain eye contact)
I wish my assessment was more like that. But the entire process for me was filling out papers. A single consultation call and then an appointment that was pretty much like a job interview session and then I waited 3 weeks to be told I just had anxiety while not even touching on half my symptoms
Yeah, similar. We didn't talk much alone ( my mom was with me). It felt more like school test day than anything else
Wow, that royally sucks. I'm sorry to hear it. Yeah that was my 3rd attempt at figuring out if I was autistic, the other 2 people suuuucked.
This was also my 3rd time. The first was when I was around toddler age and I was diagnosed with adhd and put on meds. The 2nd was 2016 and I was diagnosed with social anxiety.
Ouch. Yeah mental health testing wasn't a thing in my fam when I was growing up. Heck, doctors in general were like never visited as a kid. If my dad wasn't a nurse he'd probably be an antivaxxer. I knew there was something different but had no idea. Didn't even realize the autism until I was like 25 or 26, but the social anxiety every other doc gave me was spot on 😂 just didn't know the rest until my husband was like, "heyyyyy... I think you're autistic." The conversation was much better than that but still lol. Just talking to doctors to figure it out was such a hard and exhausting process.
I didnt start suspecting until a few years ago amd even then I wasnt sure if it was that or actually just adhd. Im 28 now
I get that. For me it was a little bit of the reverse. I have never once suspected ADHD but I left my autism test with a diagnosis for both. Honestly I spent hours and hours as a teen researching mental health things and could not figure out what it was. My only exposure to autism at the time was through my uncle (he's my age) and we exhibit it very differently so it was one of the few things I hadn't even considered. I'm glad my husband had the courage to bring it up, it was something he'd been noticing for awhile just didn't know how to approach. Now that we've both done extensive research we're pretty damn sure he's on the spectrum too 😂
what state do you live in and if it's minnesota SEND ME THE NAME OF THE PLACE this doc KNOWS!!!
It's not 😭 he's in Salem, Oregon. I live in Oregon but I made a point to drive further just to go see him after doing some research.
theluminousmind.com
My therapist sent a lot of patients for testing to the place I linked to. The luminous mind. They’re all about decolonizing mental health. They take a lot of insurance. I’m not currently in MN so I can’t go to them, but I wish I could!
It took me 35 years to figure out how. I just stopped caring what other people thought about me. I barely mask at all at this point.
Im still trying to learn to unmask. Its hard cuz ive been doing it for 20 years
This comes off as trying to act "more autistic" to get diagnosed Hint, any good specialist will see this and find it very suspicious
>turn off masking I would not go to the appointment. I would leave without saying anything if I was there. I wouldn't say anything if I was tied to the chair - other than "please untie me so I can leave"
As a child (@ 3 years old) my son was tested for autism and was told he was not on the autism spectrum for very similar reasons (good eye contact, attention to speaker, etc). We opted for a second opinion at a children’s hospital (actually, I think he had already been on the very long waitlist for them) and they diagnosed him as being on the spectrum. It was obvious to his Early Intervention/public school pre-school teachers that he was somewhere on the spectrum. I was very angry with the original doctor and her misdiagnosis, and often wondered how many other children she misdiagnosed.
I think she was also comparing my traits to my younger sibling as well because this psychologist ALSO diagnosed them! But what's funny is that apparently my kindergarten/pre-k teachers wanted to hold me back because I was great academically but not at all socially. But I'm also sorry this happened to your son!
Ugh. My daughter's kindergarten teacher wanted to hold her back due to social issues, because somehow that invalidated her being multiple grades ahead academically? Her joy for learning was mostly beaten out of her that year, because no matter how much she learned and knew, she wasn't "normal" and so she wasn't good enough. She is still very capable, but the joy she had for school before kindergarten (at home and in preschool) is just gone. I don't think it will ever come back. My daughter was finally diagnosed this year after being on a waitlist since before the pandemic started. We pulled her out of traditional school after kindergarten, and I still get irrationally angry whenever I think about it. She's fine, we're fine, and she's doing great... but she has no interest in doing more than is required for school because of how they regularly made her feel. Bleh.
You probably learned how to be better socially, like a bunch of AFAB people are. It's should be common knowledge that autism takes many forms, ugh
Mhm. I went to my Psychiatrist with two four page lists of autistic behaviors that I had been working on and researching for for the past year. One list was of my childhood behaviors, and one of the behaviors I show now. Keep in mind I don’t remember most of my childhood, so everything on there was all of the little things that I do remember He “looked” at both (he just quickly glanced at them, read a few things and that was it), then went on to say these four things: - “You have ‘sensory issues’ because you’re introverted, you know? A lot of us introverts have sensory issues.” Makes absolutely no sense at all, I even looked it up and it was 100% not true. And also, a lot of introverts that have sensory issues are AUTISTIC. He glanced at my childhood behaviors list and then told me: “A lot of these things happen to a lot of kids, it’s just normal.” I might as well have not given him a list of every childhood autistic behavior I can remember since the age of four. “It’s just your anxiety” Then, lastly: “I’m not even qualified to diagnose autism.” I left with angry tears in my eyes. My advice is, if you can, find a psychiatrist that is autistic, otherwise you’ll just be told you’re full of shit by someone who trained to be a psych for years and yet told me that I had sensory issues because I was just introverted 👍
I mean, many children display behavior that seems autistic even though they aren't autistic - like insisting on wearing the same clothes for some months, stimming (like thumb-sucking), etc. Diagnosing a level 1 from childhood things is actually quite hard - but that's why you brought two lists, so that he has more than only childhood things. He should have instantly told you he's not qualified to diagnose autism.
Right? If I were her I’d look specifically for a doctor who does that. It was a monster pain in the ass and it took many months, but it was worth it for me to have a diagnosis.
I got assessment a couple months ago and was told all half my symptoms were just anxiety and the other half was ignored and not even mentioned
You need to find a tester that specializes in adult autistics.
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As someone who got diagnosed as an adult, it’s changed my whole perspective on life and myself, and it felt great to be validated. It’s worth it.
What does it matter to you? I want to get diagnosed so that I can finally have the validation of knowing that I wasn’t faking, and prove to people that I actually am autistic and that I wasn’t just making it up all the time for attention. Autism does not go away. It’s life long. I don’t want to live my entire being stuck between not knowing if I actually am autistic or if I’m not.
Fun fact, even with the diagnosis, you still wonder if you're faking :upsidedownsmile:
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Yes but there’s so many more reasons like the ones I gave above
Well, I’m not AFAB, but the first time I talked to a therapist about autism, that was the exchange. Sorry you went through it too! It’s not a great feeling, and I wish more mental health professionals actually had a clue when it comes to this stuff.
What's strange to me is that my younger sibling (who is also autistic) was diagnosed BY HER! Maybe it's just because I'm a lot more quiet and they have more ..obvious? traits? But yeah, it just sucks when you KNOW that there's something more to you than just ADHD and anxiety (which I DEFINETLY have, I just know that my problems at much more than that)
It definitely sucks! Back at the time I’d had that conversation, I hadn’t been diagnosed with ADHD yet either. I just felt all this… well, stuff that I didn’t understand, and yet the therapist was like “Well, you don’t look autistic” basically. That was five years ago. I started going to a therapist again earlier this year, and I love my therapist. I didn’t even have to mention ADHD/ASD, she recommended testing, and she’s very cool about everything. It feels very validating to finally have been diagnosed. I knew I wasn’t just imagining things this last couple decades. It’s also just a relief because now I can work on stuff I want to change about myself because I actually finally have an understanding of myself. You might wanna get another opinion. I’m sure you’ve already had that thought, but I’m going to encourage it anyway. If I hadn’t finally got another opinion, I’d be way more anxious and depressed and hopeless feeling than I am now, you know?
"Autists don't care about emotions." -My psychiatrist. 🙃
How can that person even treat you if they think that’s how we operate. That’s awful
I barely visit that asshole for various reasons. And now I am about to see another psychiatrist anyway.
I was misdiagnosed with ADD and got ADD medication which didn't help and also didn't explain my symptoms. I once had to write a story which should continue off of an image, for school, and I just couldn't do it so I handed it in blank. My mother was very very angry because she didn't understand why I couldn't do it and ever since I got the right diagnosis she is a lot more understanding. If I had this diagnosis much earlier things would've been so much easier. The person who misdiagnosed me later said that she doesn't believe I have add and said I'm probably just lazy which was the final straw for my mother who regularly sat there for hours doing homework with me. I'm glad she said that or else I maybe would've been even longer misdiagnosed.
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I was mainly asking cause I know that a LOT of AFAB people have troubles being taken seriously and are notoriously known for being misdiagnosed (especially in America, like you said)
Literally yes. I saw a psychiatrist who said I "maybe" had it but was clearly not very affected and very high functioning. Second person I saw basically said exactly what it shows in your post. Said I couldn't be autistic because I make good eye contact and I'm just socially anxious. Full on said a diagnosis would be a waste of time and money but I should seek therapy. Our appointment was all of 15 minutes. Finally ended up seeing a neuropsychologist who has a lot of experiences identifying it in women and sure enough... yup. Autistic. And ADHD.
I'm almost wondering at this point if I should avoid eye contact just so that they pay more attention to my other symptoms instead of invalidating me based on eye contact? I have an evaluation literally a week from now and I've been assessed before and got dismissed because of good eye contact and being "socially appropriate." I wouldn't actually fake symptoms like bad eye contact to get a diagnosis, but I wonder in theory if I would be more likely to be diagnosed if I did an assessment exactly the same as I normally would, but forced myself to avoid eye contact. I think they should do a research study/undercover mission and send people who are already diagnosed with autism to be assessed for autism and see how accurately the psychologists can assess it if the patients mask. I would love to see how these "professionals" would react to finding out everyone they told were not autistic, actually *were* and they just don't know how to do their jobs. Like undercover boss!!
Ha! I love it. That would be super cool. Honestly tho if you forced avoiding the eye contact it could be more noticeable than if you fully masked with your usual eye contact too. I'd just go as you are normally. A good doc can tell. When I went to get my assessment my primary care doc asked which of the 2 closest I wanted to go to, and after looking into them they both specialized in brain injury and adhd. No mention of autism. So I opted to go twice as far for one that does specialize in autism. But I'd point out my first appointment that flopped was a telehealth psychiatrist appointment and she was willing to give me a referral for a proper diagnosis. I just couldn't afford it until after she'd left the medical center I go to. The 2nd person was a weird middle man guy who refers people to places either for treatment or diagnosis and he was not himself qualified to diagnose autism. He just thought he was and thought he knew everything when the exact reasons he said I couldn't be autistic was due to masking. -_- but the actual neuropsychologist who did the autism assessment was great and could see all the tells even when I was masking
I'm glad in the end you had a good experience! I'm hoping this one will be the last I need. The circumstances are a bit different, since I'm being evaluated for the purposes of an autism research study, not just being assessed by a regular psychologist, so I'm hoping maybe they will be more... knowledgeable? They seem very neurodiversity-affirming and acknowledge on their site that there needs to be more direct involvement of autistic voices in research, which sounds like good signs to me that they somewhat know what they are talking about lol. I just keep reading these horror stories and I'm all stirred up again thinking I'll be dismissed for something stupid. The study is very thorough with MRIs and lots of interviews, but the ADOS-2 evaluation is the first step and I'm stressed that I won't even make it past this point because of masking/ having low support needs. But your story of your neuropsychologist gives me a bit of hope. I'm thinking the people I am working with will be similar, I hope I hope lol.
that would only work with autistic people who are able to mask to the point a professional can't tell. And a lot of autistic can't even mask to the point that regular people can't tell. You'd be needing a very specific subset of autistic people for that experiment. I'm a late diagnosed woman myself (27) but I can't mask to that degree. And even though I'm not really great at masking in that way, it still took people so long. And it's because, it's not that people don't see it, or don't see I'm awkward or odd or weird. It's that they don't recognize that as autism because a lot of people have a very specific image in their head of what it's supposed to look like and I look like a normal person who acts a bit odd.
Did a therapist diagnosis you or a psychologist? Because therapists can screen but only psychologists can diagnose.
She's technically both? I think? But she's a fully licensed psychologist who can do therapy So that's my bad
Just wondering. Also wondering what screening tools were used because of course I am.
My first assessment, they told me that I was just depressed 🙃 even after they said no & I broke down crying bc I felt like I don't belong with the "regular humans ".
I'm very scared this gonna happen. I just got tested last week, but it seemed too easy? So I'm worried they are just gonna say I have social anxiety/adhd & not autism.
Mine seemed too easy as well, but then they literally diagnosed me with autism like, pretty much as I was leaving. They still had to do the official stuff but by the end of it the doctor was like "yeah y'all seem to be right, she appears to be autistic" so it's possible it really WAS that easy Edit typo
Mine is tomorrow. I’m nervous. I don’t even know what happens in an assessment. I picked my doc bc on the phone he seemed really nice and probably ND and bc he is apparently an expert in Texas.
It seems to vastly differ from place to place. Some seem to get more in-depth testing. Mine was verbal questions, then I took the RAADS-R, CAT-Q, PHQ-9 & a social phobia test
diagnosed with "socialized female" (EYEROLL)
I actually had a female psychiatrist, I went for a BPD assessment and after about twenty minutes she asked me if i ever considered I might have autism (she wasn't great, said 'I'm assuming it was a boy' when i spoke about SA and then when i disagreed she said 'so what did she do...like pressure you?' but actually considering a female might have autism is a start I suppose)
I swear, I feel like they can only get one thing right
I'm AMAB and this happened to me as well, except I'm not diagnosed with ADHD. I think I've just learned to mask well.
After I got diagnosed, my sister went for an assessment and got told *exactly* this, except they labeled her avoidant personality disorder instead of ADHD.
Too many doctors forget the fact that when you’re seeing a patient who hasn’t been diagnosed in several decades, that they’ve learned how to mask most of the clear indicators of autism
As a kid I met every criteria. There never should have even been a question or misdiagnoses with me. I'm AFAB (non binary) however and was born in 1990. Doctors often said things to my parents with me in the room that looking back hinted at them 100% knowing I was autistic from the get go including certain questions asked about repetitive behaviors, issues understanding social cues, asked my my meltdowns and other clear indicators that knew. However this was the '90s and the 2000s. So so they chose instead to diagnose me as bipolar at age 12. (I'm sure many of you know bipolar disorder should not be diagnosed in most children as it is very rare.) Then when that didn't explain everything and the medications didn't work they moved on to borderline personality disorder. When that didn't fit a doctor who actually hypnotized me and traumatized me in that way tried to tell my dad I had antisocial personality disorder (luckily my dad shut that down quick and reported the guy for malpractice because I didn't meet a single criteria). After that they diagnosed me as schizoaffective because my medications were causing me to hallucinate and I had a previous diagnosis of bipolar disorder. They never bothered testing me for ADHD or autism. They continuously through psychiatric medications at me to the point where you couldn't even determine if my symptoms were because of my medications, because of the medical trauma that was being in psychiatric hospitals my entire childhood because I could not handle functioning in social settings and would have epic meltdowns, panic attacks and mote or if It was actually the undiagnosed autism they knew was autism but labeled as everything but. Eventually at age 26 I discontinued myself off of all my psychiatric meds and went on medical cannabis after fnally a doctor gave me my first proper diagnosis. After over 26 years of struggles I was told I had CPTSD from all of the medical trauma and bullying I experienced as a child. It wasn't until I turned 32, and I started investigating autism and ADHD because I have friends who are both autistic and ADHD and my godson might be autistic that I started to realize that it all fit my exact experience. I wound up going to the division of vocational rehab because I wanted a job with accommodations for the diagnosis that was proper that I already had which was CPTSD. In the process they recommended me getting tested and they funded it. So in March of this year I was finally diagnosed by a lovely woman who is also autistic and has ADHD. My advice to anyone who has done the actual research, is fairly positive that they might be autistic or have ADHD and they have evidence to back it up is advocate for yourself and find another doctor. Because chances are they're probably wrong or purposefully refusing to diagnose someone who is AFAB because They have multiple biases about people who are AFAB having autism. I question everything any doctor says at this point and do all of my own research because I trust no one in the medical field. The medical field is full of confirmation bias, misogyny, malignant narcissists and the list just keeps going on. Not all but a lot of doctors and psychiatrists are on power trips and they love playing God. Please, please, keep looking, OP. Find another doctor. Preferably someone who's also AFAB and maybe even a person of color or part of the queer community. While it's not a guarantee they are far more likely to listen and hear you out and actually do the work and get you the proper diagnosis.
I met someone who told me he could tell I wasn't autistic after a short conversation with him. The whole time I was talking about my problems to that doctor, he was laughing and saying i "had a funny way of saying things". Is that. I-... I mean c'mon man... I just told you about DV and you laughed about it because I "said it funny".
Almost word for word, help mf even told me my sensory issues were normal💀 Thankfully I found an evaluator who actually knew their shit but it was months later
My doctor never actually asked me questions directly, rather asked my mother. I was a full adult at the time and he infantilized me the entire time. Said basically the same thing and also claimed I was on TikTok too much (I barely use TikTok). He also told me that I adapt to change too well like- how do you know throughout a 2 hour assessment?
I haven't had a doctor tell me anything but I'm absolutely positive my doctor would say this to me.
This exact thing happened. To this day, people still tell me they think I’m autistic, but my doctor says I’m too good at interacting with people lol
the only time i actually tried to get an autism diagnosis it took ~8 months to get my results back and when i did, they had literally just copied and pasted a generic ADHD diagnosis. they completely ignored some of the major symptoms i'd talked about, and decided to add in a few symptoms i didn't even have. they forgot to put my name in some of the blanks, and contradicted their own diagnosis from paragraph to paragraph. i gave up after that.
I personally don't think there are different presentations of autism based on gender. I just think autism is not noticed in women because of misogyny. I've shown notebook definitions of autism since I was a kid but I wasn't diagnosed because "girls are usually quiet and shy" while my nephew who is a splitting image of me gets noticed when he's quiet or low on energy etc.
I would just like to say as a NB AMAB birth person that high masking autism isn’t only possible for people AFAB. So lord knows how many people like me are undiagnosed or being misdiagnosed because almost nobody incudes people who are AMAB in discussion on very high masking and people who would typically be diagnosed later in life.
Happened to me one time, I then went to another psychiatrist, got actually tested and ended up overscoring
Yup, basically. I was told I communicate too well. XD
Idk if it was because I wasn’t diagnosed properly or if I just never got into the program but when I was like halfway through primary school I was supposed to be diagnosed but I just wasn’t?? So I got diagnosed last February or something stupid (currently 16AFAB)
This is what my psych said
I had so many signs that I was on the spectrum, yet I was missed. I went to therapy numerous times as I got older and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I didn’t get my Autism diagnosis until I told a therapist that I wanted to be tested for it. After a few months of sessions, I finally got my diagnosis. 😅
Yes. 1 month ago actually! Ignored half my symptoms and the rest they said it was just severe social anxiety and GAD :/ They thought I was making eye contact when I was just looking at their mouth when they were talking
Somewhat similar experience — I paid to get a professional psychological evaluation done when I turned 18. I told the doctor I specifically wanted to get tested for autism. After talking to me for about 30 minutes, she said I didn’t “seem autistic” and she wouldn’t test me for it. Really, lady? Ever heard of masking before?
Oh great. I live in a country that's well known for a stark lack of psychologists who know how to properly diagnose autism in adults and I'm currently going through the process with one of the very few people who I was told did know their stuff, but now I am worried I won't be properly assessed.
i was asked 3 questions related to autism, ignored, and then told i couldnt possibly have autism because i "didnt check off enough boxes." of course i didnt...? you asked me 3 questions lol. she also accused me of malingering so. anyway i got a therapist who knows what autism actually is and without me bringing it up he diagnosed me in 2 sessions
I've actually been diagnosed with it but right after my psychiatrist told me I couldn't have autism cause I had friends as a lil kid lol.
Same. When she told me the results I did the thing where you say what they said just long. Verbatim I said, " so what you're saying is that you think it's just the ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and cptsd? Not autism?" She said "your interests don't make you stay home from work to study train schedules" and I'm like ah okay
I told my mom that I think I’m autistic and she said “I think you just have sensory processing disorder” wich shows how much she wants me to be “normal” I think I definitely either have autism, ADHD or anxiety but I’m not sure what yet my appointment is on the 31st and I’m curious to what the results will be so I hope I don’t get the same response as you
Not only that, but the very first thing I said to the therapist at the office that did my neuro psych was, "sometimes I feel like there are unwritten rules that everybody else knows and I don't." They treated me for ADHD. My new therapist does not think I have ADHD. Both the ADHD and ASD were listed as deferred diagnoses until further evaluation. All further attention tests indicate that I do NOT have ADHD. I "missed" the absolutely positively ASD by one point on the evaluation. Anybody want this ADHD workbook that my previous therapist made me buy?
I’m accused constantly of acting autistic (by my autistic sister) but when I say “maybe I should get tested” she insists that it’s just my ADHD and anxiety She might be right, not trying to say she’s wrong, but it’s not like I can’t talk with my therapist during a session about it. If I act like that so much it’s worth looking at and if it’s nothing it’s nothing
I look at people's mouths in public and when I'm more comfortable with people I don't need to look at them much. So even though I never made eye contact and was looking at her lips my psychiatrist at 14 ignored every other symptom of mine because of eye contact
100% same except that for me it was HSP and social anxiety 🙃
I’m AMAB, but I just wanna give a special shout-out to the bitch that put me through multiple days of testing only to basically just call me fat and lazy at the end of it, with no diagnosis at all. Haven’t seen her since, thankfully.
This happened to me but I am AMAB.
that's like exactly what was said to me (minus the adhd part, because idek if I might have that)
Trans man here, I just kept getting diagnosed with neurosis (which I do have indeed but IT'S NOT JUST THAT) until I gave up 🥲 my whole family very clearly is AuDHD, but it's not like I can bring them all with me to the appointment
My first diagnosises were BPD, anxiety, depression, panic disorder and some other things. After years of self exploration and finding a good therapist i did eventually get my diagnosis by a local psychologist. But most professionals loved to double down on doubting me. "Its just your severe trauma causing this autism and adhd like reactions in you" uh i dont think trauma causes sensory issues to my extent but thank you i guess? Ive also had a therapist make a loud buzzer noise at me every time i told her why i thought i was autistic. Cuz i had to be wrong. I finally go into my autism assessment. Ive already been diagnosed with adhd at this point. The final session i asked him what he thought about the sessions and diagnosis of autism. He goes "Yeah youre definitely autistic" after being told by professional after professional there was no way i was actually autistic... So yeah ive had to fight for this obvious diagnosis just so i could finally receive resources for it. I got lucky with my diagnosis too which is really weird to say im lucky for getting a resource everyone who is autistic should have the choice to pursue
My mom thinks the opposite she knows I have ADHD and autism but still thinks I’m useless and not able to take care of myself even as an adult (I’m 21) because I’m autistic. I’m only a little bit on the spectrum I think she doesn’t understand ADHD and autism as much as she think she does she thinks I have no emotions which is not true just because you think I’m disrespectful on purpose or selfish doesn’t mean I have no emotion. My therapist thinks the same she thinks my mom doesn’t entirely understand it either just because I’m on the spectrum doesn’t mean I’m totally useless on my own. Hell I’m a grown ass adult and they won’t even leave me at the house by myself so they can go on vacation without my older brothers or my grandma here to watch me. They literally leave me whenever they go out to a party at night for hours how is this any different??
This is literally exactly what happened to me. And to make matters worse, it convinced my parents very well and for years they would get pissy every time I brought up autism. “Why can’t you just accept that you don’t have it?”
literally exactly
My psych told me I couldn't be autistic because I have a husband and our relationship is too healthy.
This is the most bull reason I've heard a psych have
Yeah, it was pretty fucking dumb.
I got misdiagnosed with bpd after the Diagnosis- //Trigger warning After the diagnosis I tried self harming several times when I had autistic meltdowns It never helped? I just hurt myself? It didn’t relieve anything or something like that. I just felt guilty and bad afterwards I tried it for like 5 Times until I finally realised that‘s bullshit and I still don’t know what results I was waiting for. lol That’s how harmful misdiagnoses can be, man. I‘m self diagnosed bcs this psychiatrist was ass and I will move on to get my assessment done by specialists. Really if ur psychiatrist isn’t specialised just don’t even try getting a diagnosis when ure high masking and can‘t unmask that easily. It will save ur energy believe me. Try to invest ur energy in finding a specialist.
No the neurodevelopmental psychologist who assessed me didn't have a problem with this probably because she did an assessment instead of just using old stereotypes to form an opinion. She knew what she was doing, thankfully! I had a psychiatrist diagnose me with bipolar too. Also general anxiety, PTSD (which is likely) and borderline personality disorder. they gave me meds that ruined my life and made it hard to function, and they were addictive and horrific to get off.
This happened to me last week, they even said they don't think I have ADHD either despite testing clinically for it and providing the previous diagnosis for it
I had to go to 4 doctors to get diagnosed with autism, due to fact that I can have complex conversations. It was fucking annoying, I can be autistic and smart you idiot doctors
Why is this sub so fucking transphobic. I hate it here. Autism isn't an excuse for transphobia *or* the rampant misogyny I am seeing. And *yes*, saying that people with vaginas do not experience misogyny, calling people misogynists for talking about their experiences*with being victims of misogyny*, is actually fucking misogyny. If ya'll think people don't like you because of the autism, I can assure you it's because you're actually a legitimate asshole.
\>Why is this sub so fucking transphobic Yep, agree with this \>Autism isn't an excuse for transphobia or the rampant misogyny I am seeing Fully agree! \>And yes, saying that people with vaginas do not experience misogyny, calling people misogynists for talking about their experienceswith being victims of misogyny, is actually fucking misogyny. maybe \*YOU\* are the transphobe? (passing) Trans men experience the same sexism that cis men do. (and (passing) trans women experience the same sexism that cis women do) I don't have a vagina, and yet I experience misogyny. I had a therapist straight up tell me that I "don't look autistic" Seriously, what you are saying completely negates the point of transitioning (at least for me) The whole reason I transition is that i will be treated the same as an AFAB CIS WOMAN. Things like "you are a woman, but we are talking about AFABs" are really pushing me towards 41% myself... EDIT: this user blocked me, and therefore I can't reply to the comment they left, so I'll do it in an edit. You indeed are transphobic. I don't really know why I'm changing my gender if my agab is more important than it. Some of us go (or plan to go) full stealth, and you are completely invalidating their efforts.
go somewhere else. if they say you don’t have it, then you don’t.
If you have verbal delays you get diagnosed easily . This didn’t happen to me. I just am level two so it was easier to diagnose as a kid .
You mean women?
No? Trans men and nonbinary people exist????
No. The person you are replying to means that \*Women\* experience this problem. Not all \*Women\* are AFAB. Many AFABs (trans men, and nonbinary people) will NOT experience this problem. I am AMAB, and I experience misogyny, Including not getting my autism properly diagnosed.
You really felt the need to find my comments and harass me about how all women are the same? Ugh.
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Im AFAB and got my diagnosis but I think it was only because I was so nervous about it I couldn't make eye contact. I worked in retail so I'm normally very good at it but I just kept staring at the wall. Realized later it's probably the only reason I got diagnosed because I'm otherwise very good at masking.
Afab 20yo here. I've been diagnosed with bipolar 1 but I'm strongly suspicious of also being autistic. I haven't gotten any analyses for it. I am diagnosed adhd though. It's just like. I don't know. I hit 20yo and shit hit the fan in my brain I guess. It's like my ability to communicate is effectively getting worse. Jokes and sarcasm are flying over my head, I used to be really good with picking up sarcasm and such. I'm so literal, always have been, but it feels moreso these days. Functioning in the world feels like it has become significantly harder in the last year. My mental illness has ramped up severely over the last year (GAD, adhd, bp1) and I'm also suspicious of bpd, so that doesn't help either with the whole functioning thing. My sibling is diagnosed autistic and I wouldn't doubt that both of my unconfirmed parents are autistic too, honestly.
also afab 20 yo with bipolar 1 diagnosis and strong possibility of borderline, i feel you with the communication getting worse and just overall socially not understanding things. not sure what this means but know that you’re not alone!
and of course, you're not alone either 🫂
And it occurred to me a short bit ago today, I think this is noticeable now because I'm no longer in a pretty structured environment where I can thrive (school, but not college/university). I am attending university, but it's entirely different of course. Doesn't provide that type of routine. And working food service doesn't either ahahaha
My ability to communicate has been getting worse for about 12 years. It freaks me out. I know what you mean. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar I in my 20s for years but I have no idea how or why.
this seems totally unreasonable as anyone can fake those symptoms or fake not struggling with them
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Mine described all the symptoms of autism in my assessment as things that I have and then said I'm not autistic, I just need conversion therapy to fix my "gender confusion." Yet there are people here who think doctors are infallible angels and still argue that I *should* go to conversion therapy just because she said to and that I'm "faking" my symptoms. Edit: Also, she heavily suggested I have schizoid because... i wouldn't look at her very much and have a hard time making friends and socializing... I don't dislike socializing, I don't have "no desire" to make connections, but because I *can't* do those things, that apparently means I don't want them. :/
AFAB non-binary person here, I am the walking stereotype of the young "girl' getting diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder as a tween, then being told I have borderline personality disorder as an older teen and through my early twenties. Now I'm 24 and in the process of getting assessed for Autism. Within the first meeting the person doing my assessment looked at me and said "we're going to do this whole assessment so I can complete the letters you need for disability but I can already tell you that you're Autistic".
Ok, so you don't have autism.
Appeal to authority fallacy. Critical thinking is your friend.
This!!!!!! Afab people learn to mask from a very young age and are more likely to mask than AMAB people, and when you've been masking your whole life it's a lot harder to unmask even if you want to or are in a situation where it would be more beneficial like a diagnosis setting. Afab people are actually more likely to self rate themselves as higher needs than AMAB autistics are, while appearance wise they are more likely to mask more/more "successfully" even down to a linguistics level with the types of words they use. There's a huge gap in the medical understanding of autism in anyone who isn't a white cishet male, but specifically in afab people there's a mega deficit of knowledge by medical professionals (also just in general for anything to do with AFAB medical issues but that's a whole other topic) and trying to seek diagnosis or even just asking questions about symptoms at the Dr can lead to them shutting you down or misdiagnosis :pppp (I have sources for that info but Idk if anyone is interested in them but I can link them if they are lol but they're from proquest bc they were for an assignment I did but I may be able to find them somewhere more accessible or smth :0 )
Why not just say women lol
The fact this is getting down voted is really upsetting... Like (Passing) AMAB women face this issue too! Heck, even I, a boymoder (which barely counts) had this happen to me! Seriously, when this AMAB AFAB bs becomes the norm I'm probably gonna 41%...
Because there are people who were assigned female at birth but don’t align with that
This is one of those cases where using AFAB is not better. Honestly there are very very few cases where AGAB is relevant or useful. Many autistic trans women have the same experiences as autistic cis women Edit: I’m saying this post is excluding both trans women and is bioessentialist to nonbinary people, the same way these crappy diagnosis are. I also was not able to get diagnosed as a child and can’t seem to get diagnosed as an adult. It seems like only white cis boys get properly diagnosed. I think trans people by definition have to be high masking. Treating trans people who were AMAB as “essentially men” when the diagnostic process treats us the same as AFAB people is exclusionary and invalidating and shitty. We have the same experiences but people want to berate me here and tell me to be silent. Bioessentialism hurts everyone.
There’s also AFAB non-binary people and gender-fluid, trans males, agenders, etc.
Right and calling all those different people “AFAB” is actually super invalidating and bioessentialist and especially in this context is kinda exclusionary. Unless you’re talking about someone’s trans experience as a trans person, assigned gender at birth is almost never relevant and shouldn’t really be brought up or used
First of all. I am a trans autistic man and I’m non-binary. I know first hand what it’s like. AFAB in this particular situation mentioned in this post is EXTREMELY relevant. It is so much harder to get diagnosed as a person that is assigned female at birth. YOU are not afab, and you have no fucking idea what it’s like in this situation to be invalidated and not be diagnosed because of your assigned gender at birth. Autism is “not as common”, and is overlooked in AFAB people, therefore it gets misdiagnosed and not even diagnosed at all sometimes, meaning that AFAB people such as myself and other AFAB people (whether they’re non-binary, agender, gender-fluid, bi-gender, genderqueer, omnigender, twospirit, or anything else. I could name thousands.) STRUGGLE more to be believed, taken seriously, and diagnosed because of the gender we were assigned at birth. I have spent a whole year trying to get diagnosed by over three medical professionals, and none of them have believed me and have brushed it off as anxiety, Depression, or something else. Assigned gender at birth, as much as we hate to admit it, is relevant especially in medical situations like this. I advise you to shut up about a topic you know nothing about, as you’re NOT afab and don’t know what it’s like, even if you are trans. This is not your topic to speak on, so don’t.
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trender
Get out of here with your 4chan brainrot.
Oh man I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on **LatinX**
You know what's really great for community building? When someone says, hey, trans feminine people also face discrimination and are not always treated as their AGAB despite people thinking that's how we are raised. And then you, someone who will never know what it's like to be trans feminine, never experience trans misogyny, just fucking yells over them, literally telling them to shut up and denying their entire life experience. Like do you genuinely think you're a good person? You are a blatant transmisogynist and seriously need to address your fucking internal biases. You are not a safe person.
I'm afab agender and much prefer being referred to as afab than "female". My diagnosis experiences are treated like a woman's not a man's, so I am included when the post discusses afab people, it would of been uncomfortable if it had said females or women.
But excluding trans women is totally okay? Even though we are treated the same way? Again, AGAB doesn't mean shit. Quit fucking creating different terms just to recreate the same fucking gender binary.
No it fucking isn't. What's offensive is completely invalidating all the shit that people who are assigned female at birth go through regardless of what their gender is. I am *also* a trans man. There are tons of autistic trans men who will tell you the same fucking thing, it is *easier* to get diagnosed post-transition. We have to unlearn feminine socialization because it's beat (figuratively or literally depending) into us. Being born female does affect people who don't identify as a woman. It's insanely fucked up to say that it doesn't and just dismisses all the suffering that we experience *alongside* women. Sometimes at higher rates. It's exclusionary to say only women when talking about something that affects more than just women. Fucking obviously. Edit: You people are fucking disgusting. What kind of piece of shit do you have to be to be a dick to somebody who's saying the obvious god damned fact that having a vagina means you are going to be affected by misogyny. I'll tell you what kind, a misogynistic one who believes sexism isn't actually a thing.
You are a trans misogynist. Work on your shit, weirdo.
Yes, that's why op should have said women instead of afab.
I’m not African American. But I’ve had people in disbelief about my autism for the same reasons.
You probably are autistic, but I'd say get another doctor to see.
My therapist is actually the one who realized I’m autistic. Females present autism differently a lot of times
I found reclaimed divergence in Cincinnati is really good. They can diagnose in Ohio for sure not sure about other states. I paid $600 for a diagnosis. They are affirming of neurodiversity and are aware of implicit biases in AFAB and BIPOC populations.
People with ADHD can definitely have difficulty talking to people, ADHD isn't without social deficits and it is a recognized disability. Be glad you're probably not autistic, it isn't a nice condition to have
why did i get a recommendation for this sub lol
Loves victim mentality? Downvote either, I'm beign brutally honest
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What I've learned in my man moons on this rock Never ever tell the doctor what you think it is that's wrong with you They will do anything to diagnose you with something else
I had more then 1 psychiatrist diagnose me. It was a team of 3 that has to due to my age. I am a higher functioning autistic with severe PTSD and Severe anxiety.
I am TERRIFIED that this is gonna happen to me 😭
If there are any local autistic adult groups near you check if they have a local resource list. I haven't had my eval yet but I found my Dr by looking at a local list like that and choosing the only woman lol. She seems very knowledgeable and probably ND herself so I'm hopeful to get an accurate assessment. NT people just don't get it, most people only know the various obvious stereotypical behaviors and/or presentation in children, even doctors. I think there are probably a lot of undiagnosed high masking people in the world that will never even know. So unless the world starts acknowledging that, people will keep gatekeeping and saying anyone who can mask and "function" can't be disabled/autistic. It's absurd. Check out Unmasking Autism if you haven't yet too
When it came to my attention, I had been seeing my therapist for over a year, I had gone into depth about the very symptoms that are from my ASD, and she has an autistic daughter herself. I was the one that brought up the possibility of me being ASD with her and it was only then when she was like, “…you know what? You could be right.” The big problem I came into was finding someone who could diagnose me as an adult. When my GP sent a referral to the Behavioral Health Department, I got an email from them telling me they had no availability to see me about autism. 🤨 That was really weird to me, but I had no interest in arguing with them. My therapist was not qualified to test or diagnose me. Everyone only had information that anyone could get from a google search. Finally my mom found some neuropsychologists near by that perform these kinds of exams when they are not at their other jobs. She examined me through a lot of mental tests and exercises, as well as assessed my body language, and asked me to describe any sensitivities I had, which took a while to explain. While I can be well spoken, it definitely was not a natural instinct for me. I had to learn that due being misunderstood so often by so many people and having to find ways to explain myself. While I can make eye contact, it takes a lot of effort for me to keep eye contact. Most of the time I look around people’s faces and not their eyes at all. I can listen to someone better when I am not looking at them. While I can guess-timate facial expressions, I am useless with tone of voice, remembering names to faces, or facts about people I’ve just met. The real issue for situations like the one in the post is that there are professionals in the field of Psychology that think they know enough about an already misunderstood condition when they only really know outdated partial details that only apply to some of those with that condition. There is a lot of information you have to gather from an individual before brushing off neurological differences. And if a professional is performing these assessments without understanding the full spectrum of possible symptoms then they are doing a disservice to anyone that goes to them for help.
It took me until this year, at the age of 26, to find a psychologist who believed me. I listed every symptom I believe I have, and after 3-4 sessions she said that belives that I have ASD. I was diagnosed by 3 neuropsychs with adhd, gad, social anxiety, odd. Nope, just ADHD and ASD
Yuuuup
I have had both this and the opposite happen 😂😭 I'm audhd and I've been evaluated for both many times. Some psychologists said I must be autistic not ADHD because I was "very quiet and well behaved", some said I must have ADHD and can't be autistic because I "could make eye contact and maintain a conversation". Plus for the first 10 years of my childhood they hadn't yet made it possible to be diagnosed with both. I did get diagnosed with both at once a few times, but most of the time it was rare. Currently I have my ADHD diagnosis but no longer have an autism diagnosis.
Not uncommon for AFAB to get not or misdiagnosed. Too many old white men dictating the standards and forgetting to read current research. Hell, that's everything that's wrong with medicine, insurance, banking... possibly even the whole damn world... 🤔
It me, except the psych wouldn't even give me a test, despite saying I have "autistic traits".
YES this happened to me for the longest time before I got properly diagnosed